Category: English

The Crown Prince of the capital’s elite was a complete lunatic. Even though he had died unexpectedly, he still spent every night indulging with me. “Baby, were you happy today?” Feeling the cold air radiating from his whole body, I trembled all over. But what I got in return was even more demand from him. His possessiveness terrified me, because I had already been with his younger brother… The Crown Prince of the capital’s elite died unexpectedly, and I cried bitterly at the funeral. Everyone bowed in silent mourning for him, sighing over his fall. Everyone knew I was his partner, and we had been about to go abroad to enter a legal marriage. As I looked at his black-and-white portrait, I broke down sobbing, yet secretly felt relieved too. I had finally escaped Julian Sterling’s control. He was the reserved and noble heir, but in private, he was an outright madman. Julian was in poor health and was hospitalized almost every year because of a hereditary illness. When he made love to me, he would lick my ear and sigh softly, “Avery, come to the underworld with me, and we can still love each other there.” Every time he asked me to die with him, he was so serious that it scared me. I knew he always did what he said. If I did not answer him, he would bite my neck harder in dissatisfaction, his sharp teeth pressing precisely near my artery. His stubborn black eyes chilled me again and again, and he said he would deal with me first, then take his own life, and have us buried together so we could never be separated for all eternity. I lay on my back with tears streaming down my face, and Julian rubbed the top of my head, his arms holding me tightly as he gently wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes. “Avery, I can’t bear to part with you.” He could not bear to be separated from me, so he wanted to take me away, and his love for me grew more obsessive and insane. This time, he suddenly vomited blood at night and was rushed to the hospital for emergency treatment, but he died on the operating table in less than three hours. Everything happened so suddenly, and I was lucky enough to survive. “Avery, Julian will be buried tomorrow, so please take care of yourself.” I snapped out of my daze, and Noah Sterling stood beside me to comfort me. He was the child the Sterling parents had adopted from an orphanage as an act of charity, and he was also Julian’s younger brother. Although he and Julian were not related by blood, they looked very similar, with only a small mole at the corner of Noah’s eye setting them apart. Noah was completely different from Julian, gentle, humble, and very good-tempered. In the Sterling family, he moved with ease and everyone liked him, but Julian hated him and strictly forbade me from going near him. I knelt on the prayer cushion and cried bitterly, and when I stood up, my head felt heavy, and as I stepped over the threshold, I stumbled backward. A pair of strong, powerful arms caught me, and I leaned against his chest, lifting my eyes to see his rolling Adam’s apple. The faint scent of incense on Noah drifted to my nose, and even through my clothes, I could feel the heat of his palm supporting my waist. I steadied myself and thanked him softly, but after all, our positions were different, and he still kept his arm around my waist without letting go. His scorching palm pressed close to my waist, and I could not tell what he wanted to do. “I’ll take you home. Even though Julian is gone, you are still his partner, so I should take care of you in his place.” Noah’s eyes were very gentle, but his tone and movements left no room for me to resist. He took me into the car. I knew his character, so I did not ask anything, but taking care of his brother’s partner felt a little too intimate, didn’t it? I had knelt all night and was exhausted, so I rested my head against the car window. Noah generously offered me his shoulder, his eyes clear and clean. “Avery, you’ll feel better leaning on me.” Thinking back on the wariness in my heart just now, I figured I must have been overthinking it, because someone as gentle as water could not possibly harbor such thoughts. Leaning on his shoulder, I did feel much more comfortable, and while I was half asleep and half awake, I felt a gust of cold wind. How could there be wind inside the car? I curled up and instinctively burrowed toward the source of warmth, but a cold, coercive voice sounded beside my ear. “Avery, you forgot my warning. I hate it when you get close to men. You belong only to me!” It was Julian! He had come back!

I left Noah’s arms and looked around in panic. Where was he? My body reacted faster than my brain, and I moved away from Noah. I wanted to open the car door, only to find it locked. I broke down and slapped the car window, shouting, “I want to get out!” Noah frowned slightly, confused. “Avery, what’s wrong?” The driver unlocked the doors, and after I got out, that icy gaze disappeared, and I gasped for air. “Did you hear his voice?” “No, Avery, are you too tired and having hallucinations?” Noah walked toward me with concern. I wiped the sweat from my forehead, my heart pounding wildly, and told myself that the dead could not come back to life. I was too tired and had hallucinated. I got back into the car and looked at my phone’s lock screen, which he had strongly demanded I change. Because he wanted to appear by my side at all times. On the lock screen, he wore a white coat and smiled at me through the camera, like an iceberg melting. Those black eyes seemed to be studying me through the phone, and the phone fell to the floor. The screen faced upward, and the corners of his mouth lifted as his gaze locked tightly on me, his stubbornness and triumph showing fully in his eyes. He would not let me go, and I could not escape! I turned off the screen, not daring to look again. After the car gradually moved away from the cemetery, I calmed down. Noah moved closer and closer to me, shoulder touching shoulder, and I swallowed, hesitating over whether I should get out of the car. Maybe I really was just too tired. Julian’s warning echoed beside my ear, and I could not forget it, so when I shifted inward, my back pressed against the car window and I had nowhere left to retreat. “Avery, you have dark circles under your eyes, and your lips are pale without any color. Should we stop by the hospital and get you checked?” Noah placed his hand on my shoulder with concern, as if he wanted to pull me into his arms, and the concern in his eyes did not seem fake. “I’m fine. I probably just didn’t rest well.” He leaned his head over and held my cheek, forcing his forehead to touch mine. I saw his clear eyes, felt his warm breath, and because we were too close, I could see every tremble of his curled lashes. Noah frowned and asked, “Be good, Avery. Let’s go to the hospital, okay?” In an instant, Julian’s sinister voice sounded beside my ear again, as if he were lying on my shoulder and speaking into my ear. “Avery, you’re getting less and less obedient. You even dare to disobey my orders! How could I ever bully you? You’re the one I love most.” “No, no, no, Avery. There’s a man beside you, so I have to punish you!” His two sentences made my body tremble. It was Julian! He was a madman. There was a slight cold sensation on my neck, and a pair of sharp teeth pierced my artery. My vision dimmed, and I felt my blood slowly draining away. Paleness and weakness swept through my whole body, and in the next second, a cold tongue stimulated my senses.

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The day I confessed my feelings to Ethan Shaw. I saw a few more shades of cruelty in his eyes. He made it public and humiliated me. He pinched my face and said to me, “You and that mother of yours really are the same kind of disgusting.” When I finally made up my mind to stop liking him, he begged me like a madman to like him again. “Say it. Why did you call me here?” Ethan Shaw blew out a smoke ring and glanced at me impatiently. I kept my head down and hesitated for a while before looking up at him and saying, “Ethan, I… I like you.” “I don’t have time to listen to your jokes.” Ethan narrowed his eyes, as if he realized I was not joking. He threw the cigarette butt at me, and the burning tip grazed my wrist. The burned spot turned red, and tears circled uncontrollably in my eyes. Ethan sneered and grabbed my wrist. “You and that mother of yours really are the same kind of disgusting.” He shook off my hand as if he found me repulsive. How could this be… Seeing that, I immediately grabbed the corner of his shirt. “Ethan, I really… I really like you…” Ethan curled his lips. “Is that so? You like me?” I was taken by Ethan to the karaoke lounge he often went to. The Shaw family had money and power, and Ethan could be considered the prince of New York’s elite circle. He held the microphone and looked at me with contempt and disgust in his eyes. “That one is the son my dad had with some mistress outside, and he says he likes me.” As soon as he said that, the whole room burst into laughter. I stood there awkwardly, and there were beautiful women all around Ethan as he put his arm around one of them and looked at me. “Even someone selling themselves on the street would be easier on the eyes than you.” My mom and Mr. Shaw had been childhood sweethearts, and originally, my mom and Mr. Shaw were the ones who should have ended up together. Later, because the Shaw family opposed it, my mom married my dad. But my dad beat her to death in a domestic violence incident, and Mr. Shaw took me in. Mrs. Shaw knew Mr. Shaw still could not forget my mom, so she spread rumors everywhere that I was Mr. Shaw’s illegitimate son and that my mom was a mistress. Ethan hated me. I knew that. But the moment I first saw him, I fell for him. He lifted my chin. “Don’t think that just because you entered the Shaw family, you can treat yourself like the owner.” I did not speak, and my useless tears just kept falling. It was as if a slap had landed on my face, leaving it instantly red. “Stop acting like your home-wrecking mother, thinking you can win people’s sympathy by crying. It’s disgusting.” He kicked me, and my back slammed into the wall, sending a sharp wave of pain through me. It hurt so much that I cried out. He lit a cigarette and took a few drags, then seemed to find it tasteless and tossed the rest of it onto me. The burning half-cigarette brushed across my calf, and I watched his retreating figure before slowly crouching down. A small blister had risen on my calf. I wiped away my tears and began to hate where I came from. Why couldn’t my mom just live her own life, and why did she have to do something like that? If none of that had happened, maybe Ethan and I would not have ended up like this.

Ethan had always treated me sometimes well and sometimes badly. The story about my mom being a mistress spread through all of South University. Even the fact that I liked Ethan became after-dinner gossip for people. They said I was a toad lusting after swan meat. Gradually, people started looking for trouble with me. They locked me in a bathroom stall and poured water inside again and again. I crouched there until I was already numb. The moment the door was kicked open, I looked up and saw Ethan holding a baseball bat, his face still full of disgust toward me. “Useless trash! You can even endure being bullied. You’re embarrassing the Shaw family.” Ethan grabbed one of them by the collar. “Apologize!” My heart warmed a little, and I could not tell how Ethan truly felt about me. I followed him home, drenched from head to toe. He unhappily took off his jacket and draped it over me. “Ethan, I’ll wash the jacket and bring it back to you.” I touched that jacket, a little attached to the scent on it. He lit a cigarette. “I don’t want the jacket anymore. It disgusts me.” I watched him leave, and a faint ache rose in my chest. Just moments earlier, he had rushed in with a baseball bat to save me. But why… was it just because of my background? Although Ethan was the prince of New York’s elite circle, he also drew plenty of hatred. Every day, there was no end to the people looking for trouble with him. He knocked irritably on my bedroom door. I opened the door half-asleep and saw him standing there with a first-aid kit. He threw the first-aid kit to me and walked straight inside. I was used to this. I skillfully bandaged the wound on his arm. “Ethan, stop fighting in the future. You’re covered in injuries.” I looked at the shocking wounds on his body and felt my heart ache. He snorted coldly, grabbed the back of my collar, and threw me into the corner. “What right do you have to control me? As my brother? Or as a gay guy who likes me?” Ethan pressed one knee against my chest, and I found it harder and harder to breathe. He lifted my chin. “You really are like your mom. Just looking at that face of yours makes me sick.” Tears always betrayed me at moments like this. I asked him through my tears, “Ethan, why do you hate me so much? Is it… only if I die that you won’t hate me so much?” Ethan stood up and wiped his hand in disgust after letting me go. “Yeah. It would be best if you died, just like your mom.” I hated where I came from, and I hated my mom. The moment I was born into this world, I was already rotten.

I lived every day in a daze. Mr. Shaw and Mrs. Shaw fought every day. In the end, Mrs. Shaw always dragged me into the fight. “Don’t think I don’t know. He’s the illegitimate son you had with that bitch!” Mrs. Shaw pointed at my room, almost insane. Mr. Shaw finally could not take it anymore. “What are you making trouble about now! He’s just a child, and nothing happened between me and his mother.” I curled up in the corner of my room. The door was kicked open hard. Ethan strode in, grabbed me, and threw me to the floor. He yanked my hair and pressed my face against the ground. “Are you satisfied now? Watching them fight must make you so happy, right?” I explained through tears, “No, Ethan, I didn’t…” He reached out and patted my cheek. “It would be so much better if you died.” “Then there wouldn’t be so much trouble. Why didn’t you die along with that mistress mother of yours!” “What is the point of you being alive? To destroy other people’s families? Then why don’t you just go die!” He left. Mr. Shaw and Mrs. Shaw’s fighting continued without stopping. I lay on the floor and cried until I could barely breathe. I hated myself, pinched my own flesh, and shed silent tears. Maybe Ethan was right. Why didn’t I just die? 3 Today was the anniversary of my mom’s death. I brought the things I had saved up for a long time and planned to visit her grave. I quietly went out. Ethan was about to go out too. He had almost gotten into the car. After seeing me, he stepped back and shut the car door. “You’re not allowed to go. If you go, don’t come back to the Shaw house. I find it unlucky.” I did not speak and simply kept walking on my own. Ethan, with a furious face, grabbed my hand. “I said you’re not allowed to go!” I lost my balance and fell to the ground, and my elbow hit a stone, splitting open a cut. It was as if I could not feel pain, and I felt nothing. He dragged me up and dragged me all the way into a room. This was his room, and he never let me enter it. But this time was the exception. He held the first-aid kit and treated my wound roughly. My tears fell again without my control. He thought I was crying from the pain, so his movements slowed a little. “Endure it.” I wiped my tears away. Why was he always hot and cold toward me? “Ethan Shaw, do you really hate me that much?” I choked, and my tears gradually blurred my vision. He did not answer and only quietly treated my wound. I looked at my bandaged arm, then stood up and wanted to take my things and leave. But Ethan was very strange today, and he held back his temper. “Go sit down.” I stubbornly grabbed my things and was about to leave, but he snatched them away from me. “I told you, you’re not allowed to go. I find it unlucky!” He pinned me against the wall, and the veins bulged on the hand gripping my shoulder. I held back my tears. “Ethan Shaw, don’t you hate me? Then why do you care whether I go or not? At worst, I just won’t come back here.” A slap landed on my face, leaving it instantly red. “Don’t be cheap! Today is my mom’s birthday. Don’t make her and my dad upset again!” He kicked me into the corner, and I felt my stomach churn violently. A metallic taste filled my mouth, and I forced that mouthful of blood back down. My heart seemed to hurt more than my body. Ethan stood in front of me, and I crawled up from the floor and knelt before him. “Ethan, I’m begging you. Let me go. I’m begging you. I’ll never like you again after this. Just let me go…” I cried until I could barely breathe, but he still looked at me coldly. I did not know how long we stayed frozen there before he finally left. “Get out, and don’t ever step through the Shaw family’s door again.” I picked up the things scattered across the floor one by one. I went to my mom’s grave and set everything out piece by piece. My tears could no longer fall. I said a lot to my mom, and I asked her why this had to be my fate. I stood on the rooftop, and the railing felt a little cold under my hands. I looked down at the busy traffic below, and tears blurred my vision. I wiped my tears and climbed over the railing. I looked downstairs, where fire trucks surrounded the area and police sirens rang through the air. It seemed like there was nothing in this world worth making me stay. Ethan Shaw, after this, you won’t hate me anymore. I closed my eyes and did not look back.

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After my stepbrother discovered the secret that I liked him. He sent me to a conversion center. “You’re disgusting, liking your own brother.” After I came out, he led the bullying against me. Only when he realized I no longer liked him did he regret it. He knelt in front of me and begged me to keep liking him. “You’re disgusting, liking your own brother.” Adrian Gray threw the diary where I had hidden my feelings straight into the fire. With red-rimmed eyes, I tried to explain, “It’s not like that, Adrian…” Adrian flicked the cigarette butt in his hand onto my hand. “Don’t call me that, I find it disgusting.” He had someone send me to a conversion center for treatment. “This is an illness, and it needs to be cured. Once you’re cured, I’ll have someone bring you home.” I looked at the electric shocks and batons inside the conversion center, and my whole body trembled uncontrollably. I dropped to my knees with a thud. “Adrian, I was wrong. Don’t send me in there. I won’t like you anymore. Please take me home, okay?” Adrian kicked my hand away. “Don’t touch me, I find you filthy.” “You can come home when you’re cured.” I was dragged into a room. I listened to their filthy words. “Another one who fell for his own brother. How disgusting.” They shocked me with stun batons and poured cold water over me again and again. They even forced me to watch videos of men with men. They wore me down until I had no desire left. My illness was cured. I became what everyone expected me to be. A normal person. Adrian had someone pick me up and bring me home. I no longer had the energy I used to have, and I stood quietly to the side. “Adrian, I’m back.” Adrian looked me up and down. “Looks like sending you in there was the right choice.” “Your illness is cured. Dad and your mom will be happy when they see it too.” At the dinner table, Mr. Gray and my mom looked at me and could not hide their delight. “As long as you’re cured. As long as you’re cured.” “Live a good life from now on.” Mr. Gray arranged for me to return to school. Everything that happened at the conversion center still remained vivid in my mind. I became withdrawn and quiet, unwilling to interact with anyone. Adrian glanced at me. “My brother had some issues before.” “He liked men, and he was gay, but he also fell for his own brother.” “Of course, everyone doesn’t need to be scared. His illness has already been cured.” I stared at Adrian. “Why did you do this?”

Adrian chuckled. “I’m helping you by letting them understand you better.” “Don’t you want more friends to play with you?” What Adrian called playing with me was a group of people bullying me. My roommates always threw my blanket downstairs. I had no choice but to go downstairs to pick it up, and when I came back, they locked me outside the door. “He’s so disgusting. He actually liked his own brother. Just being around him makes me want to puke.” Even in the classroom, my seat was moved next to the trash can. They laughed loudly. “Disgusting gays should sit with disgusting garbage!” Adrian held up a video of me being pinned down and bullied on the rooftop and played it in front of me. “Adrian Gray, I already don’t like you anymore. What else do you want from me?” Adrian pinched my chin. “Ethan Miller, don’t use such a boring trick to fool me.” “I know your illness still isn’t cured.” “During your time at the conversion center, you were always secretly writing my name behind everyone’s back.” “I’m helping you. I’m helping you cure your illness.” I widened my eyes in terror and looked at him. “You were watching me!” Adrian sneered. “I’m your brother. I have a duty to help cure your illness.” Adrian was right. During my time at the conversion center, I had once secretly carved his name into the wall. I thought that as long as I hid it well enough, I could go home sooner. During those days at the conversion center, Adrian was my last hope. What Adrian called helping cure my illness was making me suffer even worse bullying. They dragged me into the bathroom and humiliated me however they wanted. “Take off his pants. I want to see how a gay guy is different from us.” Adrian watched coldly as they stripped off my pants, and I crawled to his feet and begged him. “Adrian, help me…” Adrian bent down and looked at me, his camera pointed at me. “This is the best way to cure you.” I lay naked on the floor, my whole body cold. They took photos of me from every angle. Those photos were posted on the school forum. The caption read: Twenty dollars a time, do whatever you want. When people passed me, they only spat out one insult. “Disgusting. Shameless.”

The malice I suffered grew even worse. My seat became the place where they threw their trash. Different brands of condoms were piled on my desk. My advisor warned me again and again. “Ethan Miller, this is your final warning. If there’s a next time, you’ll be asked to leave.” I sat in my seat and reached out, only for a thin little snake to crawl onto my arm. I jumped up from my seat in terror. They stood beside me clapping and shouting as if they were watching a clown put on a show. Every time Adrian saw me, it was as if he had seen something filthy. “Adrian, is that your brother? I heard people can do whatever they want with him for twenty dollars?” Adrian gave a cold snort. “Disgusting.” Why was all this malice focused on me? More and more condoms were piled on my seat, and they even opened them one by one and laid them out. The school directly ordered me to go home and advised me to withdraw. Mr. Gray looked at me with a cold expression. “I sent you there to study properly, and instead you went out there and embarrassed me!” My mom slapped me across the face. “Is this how you repay Mr. Gray?” “How did I give birth to such a useless son?” “I didn’t. It wasn’t me.” I lowered my head, not daring to look up at my mom. Why wouldn’t even she believe me? Adrian chuckled. “He was doing that kind of business at school. Twenty dollars a time.” “He’s such a disgrace to our family.” I whipped my head around and looked at Adrian. Why did he have to lie? It obviously wasn’t me. He filmed the video, and he posted it on the forum. My mom hit me like she had gone insane. “Are you trying to make me lose every last bit of dignity I have?” “Didn’t you say your illness was cured? Why are you still doing this?” She hit me again and again, and I did not step back, letting her hit me. Mr. Gray’s face darkened. “Since he isn’t cured, send him back!” “Let him come back when he’s completely cured.” Mr. Gray was a businessman, and any little disturbance could affect his business. He cared especially about reputation and saving face. He would never allow a gay adopted son who did such low-class dirty work to threaten his interests. I stood frozen in place, but Mr. Gray left without looking back. My mom followed behind him without even glancing at me. Adrian chuckled. “Ethan, this time I’ll make sure they cure you properly.” 3. I collapsed weakly onto the floor, my face covered in slap marks. With red eyes, I looked at Adrian. “Adrian Gray, you’ve changed.” When we were little, if someone bullied me, Adrian always protected me behind him and said to those people, “Don’t bully my brother.” No matter what good food he had, he always saved it first and shared it with me. My mom only wanted to secure her place as a wealthy man’s wife. So she went out of her way to please Adrian. She told me to endure everything and give in to Adrian. Whenever Adrian got into trouble, she always hit me first. But Adrian always stood in front of me every time. Until that accident, when Adrian discovered the diary where I had hidden my feelings. Everything changed. Adrian yanked my hair and looked at me with disgust. “No brother likes his own brother.” “Every second I see you, I feel disgusted.” Adrian let go of me and wiped his hand with a tissue right in front of me. They sent me back to the conversion center again. I looked at this former nightmare and could not stop trembling. The director’s greasy hand rubbed across my face. “Mr. Gray, don’t worry. I’ll definitely cure your brother’s illness.” I was locked in a dark, empty room and left to be abused however they wanted. I fought back, but in the end, it only earned me brutal beatings. The director spat on my face. “Pah, do you really think you’re some clean thing?” “You’re just a cheap slut who’s been used rotten. Getting to serve me is the greatest blessing of your life!” I curled up in the corner. Was this what Adrian meant by letting them cure me properly? I looked helplessly at the pitch-black room. In my heart, the brother who had once loved and protected me had completely rotted away. Adrian Gray, this time I really won’t like you anymore. The director often came to see me, taking the novelty he wanted from my body again and again. I took psychiatric drugs, and my mind slowly became dazed and hazy. I looked at the belt the director had left behind and picked it up instinctively. I tied it tightly to the ceiling because I wanted to end my life. But someone found me. They beat me brutally. They poured chili water on me, shocked me, and cursed filthy words in my ear again and again. I became silent and withdrawn, and my illness was completely cured. Adrian came to take me home. “Ethan, I’m here to take you home.” He reached out to place his hand on my shoulder, and I dodged instinctively. “Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me.” I shrank to the side in fear, my whole body shaking. Adrian frowned in displeasure. “Ethan, I’m Adrian Gray, your brother.” Hearing that, I looked up at him, at this person who had become more and more blurred in my mind. I could no longer remember many people. They became blurrier and blurrier in my mind, about to fade away. “How was your time inside?” I did not answer him and stared blankly out the window. Adrian’s gaze tightened. “Ethan?” A trace of unease rose in Adrian’s heart. “Ethan, where did you come up with this act now?” Seeing that I still did not react, Adrian stopped the car and looked at me. “Ethan, tell me, who made you like this?” I curled up instinctively. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.” Adrian frowned tightly, and despite all my struggling, he grabbed my arm. He pulled back my sleeve and clearly saw more than a dozen scars, big and small. Some were even fresh wounds layered over old ones. I yanked my arm back. “Don’t hit me. Don’t hit me. I was wrong.” Adrian’s face darkened. “They actually did this to you!” I looked at him in confusion. “Adrian Gray, wasn’t it you who allowed it?” Wasn’t it you who sent me in there with your own hands? Wasn’t it you who allowed them to treat me like that? Adrian froze in place, and he looked at me, my eyes empty and lifeless. I looked at him too, and the things he had done to me gradually surfaced in my mind.

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On the day I turned twenty, I gathered my courage and confessed to Ethan. He called security to restrain me, then personally sent me to a conversion center for “treatment.” After half a year of forced treatment, he told me he was afraid to “come out,” but that he loved me… When I was ten, the Bennett family adopted me, and my foster parents treated me very well, raising me like I was the center of the world… The glaring sunlight made my eyes ache, and I instinctively blocked the light, my eyes stinging as I took a long time to recover. Facing the empty road, I realized he had not come to pick me up, so it seemed he really was sick of me. After he learned about my feelings, he had security clamp down on both my arms and told my foster parents, then drove me to the conversion center. The forced treatment was like living in darkness, with torture, electric shocks, and drugs… After half a year of inhuman treatment, I did not want to go near him again, but my foster parents asked me to come home for a visit, and I could not cut off more than ten years of family affection. I stood hesitantly at the villa entrance, took a deep breath, and told myself I was home. In reality, the moment I stepped through the Bennett family’s front door, I feared this familiar place and forced myself not to let my legs go weak and collapse. After taking a deep breath, I walked inside, only to bump into a wall, and when I saw the black leather shoes, I stiffly raised my head and met the eyes of the person who made my scalp go numb. “Ethan…” I was about to greet him, but acid churned in my stomach, and my knees could not hold me up as I weakly fell to the floor, because whenever I saw him, I thought of those six months of forced treatment and was too afraid to go near him. “You look like a dog right now.” Ethan Bennett had both hands in his pockets as he looked down at my sorry state with an arrogant expression, his voice indifferent while the end of his tone rose faintly. “Tsk, if you had the guts to lust after me, then you had to bear the consequences, and it seems the forced treatment worked pretty well.” “It was my fault. I never should have had those thoughts about you…” I could not stand, so I curled up and crawled backward on my knees, because Ethan Bennett was far beyond my reach, and I had been delusional to try to get close to him. I crushed my last fantasy, my heart trampled to pieces by him, my breathing hard, and tears slid down uncontrollably as I wiped them messily with my sleeve, not daring to dirty the Bennett family’s floor. “The person you should apologize to isn’t me. Mom and Dad loved you so much. How could you face them?” He walked up to me and crouched down, and beneath his loose bangs, those seductive eyes were full of pity. “Should I stay farther away from you? Look at you, like a dead fish.”

My throat clogged, and I looked at him in disbelief as a numb pain swept through my whole body, making me tremble all over, while he gave a nasty little laugh and stepped back away from me. “Lee.” I gasped for breath and saw my foster mother walking over with red-rimmed eyes, while my foster father still wore a stern face that revealed no emotion. “You’re not eating on time again, and you’re getting thinner and thinner.” My foster mother held my hand with heartache as she nagged me, then hugged me tightly. The faint grassy scent on her surrounded the tip of my nose, and it was the scent unique to my foster mother. My fingertips trembled as I returned her hug, suppressing the urge to throw up from being touched, because I knew I had to tell them that I had been completely “cured.” “Mom, Dad, I’m sorry…” I knelt on the ground, pressed my palms to the floor, and kowtowed hard, the small stones on the ground slicing my skin as my lips trembled and I shouted loudly, “I shouldn’t like men… I was possessed before and fell for Ethan. I’m sorry, Mom and Dad…” After apologizing, my tears fell uncontrollably again, and I desperately kowtowed to prove that I had been “cured.” My foster mother hugged me and patted my back with concern. “It’s okay. A good child admits his mistakes and corrects them. Let’s go home.” My foster father frowned and snorted coldly, turning his head away. “Look at what you spoiled him into. What does he even look like now?” “Lee has changed now, so stop wearing that awful expression!” My foster mother looked me up and down with heartache. “Mom will make you soup so you can nourish yourself properly, and you have to eat well.” “Dad, I’ve corrected myself. Please forgive me.” I hunched my shoulders, crawled to my foster father’s feet on my knees, and kowtowed hard, hitting the floor until I felt dizzy. My foster father let out a long sigh, but in the end, his heart softened and he helped me up, then dusted me off. “We’re a family! It’s fine as long as you correct your mistakes. You will always be our child.” I nodded hard, then looked at Ethan Bennett, who had become part of the background and said nothing, and while holding back my fear and nausea, I bowed to him at ninety degrees. “Ethan, I’m sorry. I was possessed and did something wrong.” Ethan Bennett stepped forward, his strong body less than a foot from mine, and he patted my shoulder, lifted my palm, frowned, and said lightly, “Since the treatment worked, live properly and don’t disappoint Mom and Dad.”

After receiving their forgiveness, I returned to the Bennett family home and resumed life there, and the days were just like before. When I stepped through the door and returned to the room where I used to live, I lay on the bed and looked at the familiar decorations, still feeling a sense of unreality. I always woke up in the middle of the night, cold sweat sticking to my clothes so stickily that it made me sick, and I always dreamed that I was sleeping in a damp, cold basement, where the dog chain locked around my neck only tightened more the harder I struggled. I wanted to start over as a person, find a job, and live normally, but my high school diploma was too low for me to even qualify for interviews, so I found a cleaning job from an ad on a utility pole. “Mr. Bennett, welcome. We’re honored to have you here for guidance.” When I heard the boss’s hearty laugh, I silently moved the water bucket aside and continued kneeling to wipe the floor. The sound of conversation grew closer and closer. I turned my face away, knelt in the corner of the office with my head lowered, and prayed that he would not see me. The sound of leather shoes stopped, and when I saw those polished black leather shoes diagonally behind me, that burning gaze made all the hair on my body stand up, and every time I turned my head, I could feel Ethan Bennett’s anger. “Mr. Bennett? Is there something you’re not satisfied with?” The manager hesitated and looked at the clean, tidy floor, wondering if there was a problem with the new cleaner. “Liam Bennett, is this the so-called good job you found?” Ethan Bennett’s voice came slowly from behind me with a bone-chilling coldness, and I lowered my head as my body trembled. “I… don’t know you…” I lowered my head, carried the water bucket, hunched my back, and tried to leave. “You don’t know me? Liam Bennett, you’ve really grown bold.” Ethan Bennett forcefully grabbed my wrist, water splashing all over the floor, and he pinched the back of my neck with his left hand, forcing me to look straight at him. “Come back with me!” I lowered my head to look at the tips of my shoes, not daring to meet his eyes, which were filled with anger and disappointment, and when our skin touched at such close range, the burning sensation in my stomach made me feel so sick that I wanted to vomit, while every inch of flesh seemed to tear with pain. “Ethan, I still have to keep working, so don’t delay me…” I lowered my head, my fine hair covering my brows and eyes, and resisted in a small voice as I tried to shake him off. I failed. “Delay you? You’re the young son of the Bennett family, and you’re working as a cleaner. What do you think outsiders will say? Will you only be happy if you make the Bennett family a joke? Are you really that cheap?” Ethan Bennett questioned me in anger, and the force around my wrist gradually tightened. I could not argue back, and my whole body went cold as my lips trembled and I bowed. “I’m sorry… Ethan, I didn’t mean to embarrass you…” He did not have the patience to listen, and in front of everyone, he grabbed my arm, dragged me downstairs, shoved me into the passenger seat, started the car, and left.

When we arrived at the Bennett house, he forcibly dragged me in and threw me into the bathtub, and when I struggled to stand, he turned on the shower and drenched me from head to toe, the cold water soaking my clothes until they clung to my body, cold and miserable. “Ethan… I know I was wrong. Please don’t do this…” I was so cold that I shivered and curled up, wanting to step out of the bathtub, but what came next was cold water hitting me head-on. He stood right in front of me, as if I were something “dirty,” and as if the cold water could wash me clean, while water blurred my eyes so badly that I could only hug myself and gradually curl into the corner of the tub. “Your apologies are so cheap!” Ethan Bennett snorted coldly, but he grabbed my collar in a rage, his nose inches from mine, and the woody scent of lemon and tea lingered around him. “Ugh…” I shoved him away hard, knelt over the bathtub drain, and dry-heaved until all the acid came out, while the fiery burning sensation in my stomach made me miserable. “Seeing me makes you so sick you want to throw up? After electroshock treatment, your acting skills have gotten better and better. Should I give you an award?” Ethan Bennett grabbed the loose hair over my forehead and lifted my head, his eyes filled with red veins as he forced our gazes to meet. “I… Ethan… I’m sorry.” My tears slid down in big drops, but I could not control myself. “That cleaner uniform is an eyesore. Take it off and throw it away!” Before I could react, Ethan Bennett grabbed the collar and sleeve cuffs and tore them, making the buttons pop off. I wanted to stop him, but he was too strong, and being so close to him made my stomach churn violently. After the cleaner uniform was torn apart, he held the scraps of fabric and looked at me with a frown. “Wasn’t the forced treatment only electroshock?” After hesitating and pausing, he asked, and there was a little more pity in his voice. I wrapped my arms around myself to cover my ruined body, lowered my head, and curled up, not wanting to expose myself to win sympathy. That pitying gaze of his was probably because he had seen my scars, with every inch of skin covered in wounds, whip marks all over my back, a rough wound on my stomach messily stitched with thread that extended to my thigh, all kinds of cigarette burns on my arms, and the words I’m sorry carved into my calf with glass… I had escaped from that “hell” countless times, only to be caught and brought back every time, and once a month there was a chance to contact family, so I hoped Ethan Bennett would come take me away, but the call never went through… The price of running away was punishment ten times or a thousand times worse, and they locked me in the basement, covered the walls with photos of Ethan Bennett, pressed down on my legs and forced my eyes wide open, hurt me and violated me, and those hands were so dirty… I was no longer clean, Ethan… I no longer had the courage or strength to love you.

Ethan Bennett’s warm fingertips gently brushed over every inch of my scars, and I felt that warmth, but I still curled up and did not want to face him. “Lee, I was wrong.” Ever since I confessed, he had never called me by my nickname again, and the warm memories of the past played in my mind like a movie. I trembled and tried to move away from him, tears dripping down uncontrollably. “Lee, I shouldn’t have sent you in for forced treatment. I didn’t realize my own feelings… I love you… Can you forgive me…” Ethan Bennett touched my wet hair as he confessed to me. I had thought he sent me to treatment because he was “homophobic,” but in the end, he loved me. “Lee, we can start over. I’ll treat you well.” He draped a bath towel over me, carried me back to the bed, and gently, carefully wiped away my tears as he spoke in a soft voice. “Ethan… I can’t start over…” I pulled the towel around my body and refused his touch. Ethan Bennett stared at me with red eyes, and after pressing his lips tightly together in silence, he said, “There’s nothing that can’t be started over. I’ll book you the best therapist and find the best doctors. Everything can be fixed. I’ll handle Mom and Dad. We can move to another city, forget all these unhappy things, and, Lee, can you love me one more time?”

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My first love was my stepbrother, and he wanted me to donate a kidney to his first love. Mo Ji questioned me for him: “Are you really just going to watch him die?” “I… my body isn’t…” It seemed that if your health was poor, you did not deserve to live either. He forced me to donate a kidney to Lin Qing… I was an accessory, an organ host… “Are you really this cold and heartless?” “This is a human life, and donating one kidney won’t kill you!” Mo Ji frowned as he took out the transplant consent form, his legs crossed as he leaned against the sofa, his tone forceful and allowing no doubt. His brows and eyes were cold, and his aura was untouchable. He was the man I loved deeply. The person who can make you smile can also push you into the abyss. “I… my body isn’t…” My voice trembled, and I had not yet figured out how to say the bad news. He knitted his brows and impatiently pointed at the signature line. “You only need to sign it, and don’t worry, medicine is very advanced now, so nothing will happen.” If it had not been for him, how could my body have become like shattered pieces… and now I had even fallen to the level of an organ host. I wanted to grab his collar and question him about how he could say something so cold. “If you don’t donate your kidney, don’t even think about seeing Zhou Yi again.” Endless water surged toward me, flooding over my nose until I could not breathe. He had changed, saying such ungrateful words so lightly. “Mo Ji, you are the most selfish and cold person.” Without Zhou Yi adopting us, we would have starved to death on a street corner long ago. “I’m only protecting the person I love.” His expression was faint, and his thin lips pressed together slightly. “Your love is so fake.” I signed the transplant consent form. He had probably forgotten long ago how good Zhou Yi had been to him. He had forgotten how he once smiled and swore that he would let Zhou Yi live a good life.

Looking at the name I had scribbled hastily at the end, I lowered my eyes and refused to look at him, hunching my shoulders because I did not want to expose my weakness. “Later, Assistant Liu will take you to the hospital for an examination and surgery preparation.” “Mr. Su, Mr. Cen’s flight is about to land.” I glanced over without meaning to, and his brows and eyes were full of joy, the corners of his mouth rising, while bitterness filled my heart. Lin Qing was Mo Ji’s first love, and because his body was frail, he had been recuperating abroad. As for me, I had grown up with Mo Ji since childhood, and I was his first love as well as the substitute who could never be seen in the light. We were adopted by Zhou Yi, and our finances were not good, so when we were young, people often bullied him, and after I stood up for him, I was dragged into an alley outside the school gate and beaten by a group of people. He was teased, and his books were scribbled all over. When money went missing in class and he was misunderstood, I was also the one who went to the principal to demand justice for him, making such a fuss that I almost got expelled. All the kindness I gave him still could not compare to the pen Cen Xi gave him when he forgot to bring one to an exam. “Don’t run around at home.” Perhaps because Mo Ji saw the cake on the table, or perhaps because he saw that I had signed the consent form, his tone was rarely gentle. I nodded seriously, watched him take the car keys and leave, then opened the cake and tasted the sickly sweet cream. He remembered my birthday, but he forgot the words he had once said. Those bright, smiling eyes were still in my mind, and he had covered my eyes as he led me into the room, holding a small cake as if it were a treasure. There was one candle stuck in it, the flame swaying, and he smiled shyly and bashfully, saying, “Linlin, may you be safe every year, and may we stay together year after year.” He had hugged me and prayed for my safety and happiness too. All I could hear was my heart pounding wildly. Bite after bite of sweet, greasy cream, I forced myself to swallow it, and a pile of mango was still left. I had prepared it specially, and at noon, I had made the food he liked, while the cake was brought back by Xiao Liu. He had probably casually ordered someone to buy it, and I was allergic to mango. Why did love disappear in an instant? It was not until the early hours of the morning that Aunt Zhang buried her hands in her apron and said with both hesitation and concern, “Niannian, it’s getting late, and staying up is bad for your health, so Mr. Mo probably won’t be coming back.” She brought me a cup of warm milk, and I responded with a smile. The maid beside her sneered coldly, “Aunt Zhang, Mr. Mo won’t be coming back tonight, and it’s a shame about this whole table of food.” This maid wanted to climb into his bed, and she did not know Mo Ji’s preferences, so she always found chances to pick fights and tried openly and secretly to squeeze me out of the villa. The destination of the dishes I had prepared with care was the trash can. Watching them clean up, even throwing the plates into the trash can, I was still hoping to hear the roar of a car engine. I hoped he would come back and give me his blessing, even if it was only a happy birthday. Watching the hands of the clock turn, I sat in front of the desk and looked at the chart I had once made. He did not spend my birthday with me, so ten points deducted. He bought me a mango cake, so twenty points added. After repeatedly deleting and changing the chart, I looked at the last two lines, and if the chart was filled or the score dropped to zero, I would stop liking Mo Ji. Before he liked Lin Qing, he was very good to me. Only later, he no longer touched me, and the gaze he cast on me seemed to be missing someone else too. I knew all of this, but I had no way to control my feelings… I could not bear to leave him, and even if I was only a replacement… it was still good enough to stay by his side. I always comforted myself through his actions, telling myself that he still remembered me in his heart. The chart was deleted and changed again and again, and the points were never fully deducted. Stroking the notebook in the quiet room, I curled up and missed the nineteen-year-old Mo Ji. He would have hugged me with heartache and refused to let me suffer.

“Mr. Lin, if you don’t feel well, you can explain it to Mr. Mo…” Assistant Liu hesitated and paused. I looked at his concerned appearance. Even an assistant knew how to care about me, but he did not care. Maybe I should have left long ago. “I’m fine.” I shook my head and followed the assistant out. If I called to tell him about my situation, he would only think I was putting on an act. I did not know when loving Mo Ji had become so exhausting. “Although you signed the donation consent form, your physical condition simply cannot support this surgery… I suggest you stay in the hospital for half a month of observation before the operation.” The doctor held the report, his brows knitted and his tone serious, and he also cared about the state of my body. “I confirm that I can undergo the surgery.” I signed my name on the informed consent form for the operation. The doctor sighed, “How about this, I’ll notify your family.” Family? I pulled up the corners of my mouth into a bitter smile, because after Zhou Yi left, what family did I have left? Holding the pen and writing my name on one confirmation form after another, my heart suddenly stopped hurting. Uncle Zhou, living is so tiring, and I can finally come to find you. The surgery was scheduled for three days later, and I thought he would come. In my free time, I played on my phone and saw news of his pursuit of love. He accompanied Lin Qing shopping and experiencing domestic-style restaurants, but it was all his one-sided wishful thinking. Paparazzi secretly photographed their movements, and Lin Qing was elegant like a noble, linking arms with his mother while shopping, the scene bright, grand, and harmonious. Mo Ji stood half a step behind him, following them like a shadow. As for Lin Qing, who looked similar to me, I did not hate or envy him. I touched my brows and eyes, and although our faces were clearly similar, he had a complete family and Mo Ji’s love, which was wonderful. Lying on the hospital bed and looking at the glaring red light, I planned out my final days. I would go see the great rivers and mountains of my motherland. As the anesthetic entered my body, my consciousness gradually blurred. I did not know how much time had passed, but my head was heavy, dizzy, and stinging. The kidney transplant surgery was successful, but I had a postoperative infection, and I only had two months left. Facing this broken body, perhaps death was the best destination. I told the doctor I wanted to be discharged, and I also had my medical records sealed. The wind was strong on the day I left the hospital, and the only contacts saved in my phone were Mo Ji and Assistant Liu. I put the phone back in the villa. Sitting on the plane and looking at the clouds so close at hand, I enjoyed life.

June 13th was Uncle Zhou’s death anniversary. I came back again, holding jasmine flowers to visit Uncle Zhou. Looking at the gray-white photograph, I remembered that I had slowly carved this stone slab myself. At that time, I had no money, so I could only find a full-service funeral company and bury him in a wild mountain. Only after Mo Ji achieved success and fame did I save up money to buy a public cemetery plot. “Uncle Zhou, I brought you jasmine flowers, and also jasmine tea, and I miss you so much…” I sat beside the gravestone and chatted with Uncle Zhou. During this time, I went to several places, and Uncle Zhou had wanted to see the sea, so I fulfilled that wish for him. I saw white sneakers gradually walking toward me, with black leather shoes following closely behind. I saw Lin Qing walking over with red eyes, while Mo Ji still guarded behind him like a knight, holding an umbrella. “Where did you go!” He rushed toward me. I remembered that our relationship was not that close, but I still smiled and greeted them. Rather than leaving in sorrow, it was better to leave with a smile. “I just went out to have some fun.” Lin Qing stood in front of me with restraint, hesitating as he reached his hand toward me, his movements careful. “Your phone never went through, and I sent you so many messages.” I was confused by his appearance. “You’re my younger brother!” Lin Qing announced it loudly, trembling as he reached out, wanting to hug me. I had once regarded Lin Qing as a love rival, and I had also learned before that the Zhang family had been spending a lot of money searching for their missing son all these years. No wonder our brows and eyes were so similar. I had never expected to solve the mystery of my birth before I died, and the news was like thunder. “I know.” I stepped back, thinking that children from wealthy families would all fight over family property. “Aunt Lin wants to see you.” “Little brother, let’s go home.” I poured the jasmine tea in front of the grave for Uncle Zhou to drink, and after calculating the time, I had less than a week, so it was time to prepare my grave. “I only have one week.” Lin Qing stood there in a daze, and the umbrella Mo Ji was holding fell down, hitting the ground with a somewhat piercing sound. “Little brother, stop joking, because our family finally reunited after so much difficulty.” Lin Qing pulled the corners of his mouth into a smile, his eyes bright. There was softness in his eyes, and he did not want me to die. If I had not gotten lost, he probably would have been a good older brother… and growing up in the Zhang family, I probably would have been raised in a honey jar. “I’m not joking, it’s the truth.” “Zhou Nian, stop playing little tricks.” Mo Ji’s face darkened, but his lips had turned pale, and out of consideration, I did not say the reason. Even if I said it, he would only think I was trying to win sympathy. I did not want to tell Lin Qing that Mo Ji and I had been each other’s first love. “As for the Zhang family, I won’t be going back.” I wiped the dust from the gravestone. Holding Uncle Zhou’s gravestone, I felt as if he was responding to me, even patting my shoulder, caring for me as always. “After I die, can you bury me beside Uncle Zhou?” “During the Tomb-Sweeping Festival, please bring both of us a bunch of jasmine flowers.” Lin Qing came forward and hugged me, and his tears fell onto my shoulder, burning hot. Mo Ji turned his face away and also wiped the corners of his eyes. “Little brother, let’s go home.” “I can fulfill that request too.” Lin Qing’s emotional moment was interrupted, and he glared at Mo Ji. “I don’t need you to do it, because I have family, and Uncle Zhou liked jasmine flowers the most, fresh and elegant, and they can also be brewed into tea.” Actually, it was because the old woman at the street corner planted jasmine flowers and gave us a big bag for free every year. He held my hand tightly, “I promise you everything, and Mom and Dad have been waiting for you at home for twenty-one years.” I pressed my lips together and did not know what to say, because if I went back and told them I only had one week left… they would be sad because of it too. I did not want anyone to worry about me anymore. “Our family has money, so we’ll leave for overseas treatment right away, and we can extend your life.” His tone was excited, there were stars in his eyes, and his embrace was warm. I could smell the faint scent of disinfectant on Lin Qing, but it was not unpleasant. Gently, I leaned my head on his shoulder, because it had been so long since I received a warm embrace. Mo Ji still stood one foot behind him. Looking at those familiar brows and eyes, my heart could not help being moved by him. He was like a knight in a fairy tale, unwaveringly protecting the princess. Unfortunately, I was not the one being protected. “Do you think this kind of joke is fun?” “You just want money, don’t you?” Mo Ji took out his card holder and sneered as he threw out a black card, his expression scornful and disdainful. “Adults always playing this kind of trick is meaningless, and you only want to gain our sympathy to achieve your goal of getting money.” I looked at him in shock, because in his heart, I was this kind of person. My eyes stung, and I could not hold back my tears, so I quickly wiped them away, but Lin Qing still noticed. “What money?” “He’s my younger brother, and he doesn’t need you to give him money, so what is your relationship with him?!” Lin Qing patted me comfortingly with one hand, then turned his head and angrily scolded Mo Ji for what he had just done. “There is no relationship, and I don’t know him.” I rushed to answer first and drew a clear line, because after Uncle Zhou left, I had no relatives anymore. Mo Ji’s pupils widened, shocked and angry, “What do you mean!” “What trick are you playing now!” Yes, after he became successful in his career, he had wanted to draw a clear line between us. I had also never asked him for money… but now that I denied our relationship, he was angry. “Brother, this person is inexplicable and so fierce, so I’m a little scared.” I resisted by shaking Lin Qing’s hand, revealing my vulnerability. “Don’t be scared, don’t be scared, I’ll drive him away right now.” After comforting me, Lin Qing hugged me tightly again and ordered him around arrogantly. “Didn’t you hear him?” “Don’t scare Niannian!” “Heh, you’re really something, no relationship, right?” “Then spit back out all the money you spent of mine before!” Hearing this sentence, my numb heart throbbed painfully, and I wanted to laugh at how sarcastic those words were.

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As someone who prided himself on having plenty of romantic experience, Jake was convinced there was no one he could not win over. So when he heard that the top student, Evan, was as untouchable as a flower blooming high on a snowy mountain, he could not help developing a deep interest in that aloof beauty. So he decided to do everything he could to attract him, and secretly swore that he would make Evan fall at his feet. Who would have thought that this so-called aloof beauty was actually… As a popular figure at school, Jake started looking for chances to get close to Evan every day after he boasted to his friends that he would definitely win over that dazzling top student. Finally! After a month of persistence, he finally became Evan’s deskmate. That day, Jake sat beside Evan as usual, thinking about how he could get closer to this cold, icy person in front of him. Just then, his best friend asked if he wanted to go to the newly opened haunted house that weekend. A mischievous gleam appeared in Jake’s eyes as he looked at Evan. “Evan, I heard the amusement park recently opened a haunted house, and we’re planning to go together. Are you coming?” “No.” Evan’s eyes stayed fixed on the book in his hands the entire time, and he did not even lift his gaze to look at Jake. Jake’s expression stiffened as he tugged at the corner of his mouth. No way! He rejected him that directly!? Had all the work he had put in over the past month really had no effect at all?! That could not be right… Was this guy really that impossible to sway? Damn it! I refuse to believe it! “Come on, studying needs a balance between work and rest too. There’s a saying…” Before Jake could finish, Evan lifted his head, and his eyes looked at him seriously. When their eyes met, Jake suddenly felt like he could not keep making things up, and the atmosphere turned a little awkward… No! Since he had decided to chase him, he had to cling to him no matter what! But before he could speak again, Evan had already left. When the weekend arrived, Jake simply went downstairs to Evan’s apartment building and waited for him. Over the past month, he had already figured out Evan’s routine. He made up his mind! No matter what happened today, he had to drag Evan to the haunted house! Under his relentless pestering and forceful pulling, he eventually managed to bring him there. The group carefully groped their way through the dark, eerie haunted house, and the people who came with them included Jake’s best friend Zack and Zack’s girlfriend. Speaking of which, the whole idea of chasing Evan had been stirred up by those two. They had planned it all out. When Evan got scared, Jake would step forward and stand in front of him, showing off his tall, powerful image, and then he would pull off a heroic rescue… But plans often failed to keep up with reality, and as soon as they went inside, Zack and the others were so frightened that they fled in panic. Jake, who had not yet recovered from the shock, felt a hand land on his shoulder. When he turned around, a terrifying ghost face rushed straight at him, scaring him so badly that he threw himself directly into Evan’s arms. At that moment, he could not care about his image anymore. He was seriously about to die from fright! “How long are you planning to hold on?” A low voice came from above his head, without the slightest emotion. “Huh?” Jake awkwardly lifted his head and looked up, but in the darkness, he could not see Evan’s expression clearly. Listening to Evan’s strong, steady heartbeat beside his ear, Jake blushed and pushed away the person in front of him. “Uh, well, sorry. That was purely an accident. I just wasn’t ready!” Jake cleared his throat, his cheeks faintly red, and awkwardly explained to Evan. This was so humiliating! Jake turned his head and looked to the side, not daring to look straight at Evan. “Mm.” Evan only responded lightly, without any emotional fluctuation in his voice. The two of them continued walking deeper into the haunted house, with Evan in front and Jake following behind him while holding on to Evan’s arm. After a while… “Ah!!! I’m not playing anymore!!!” Jake screamed and ran out of the haunted house. Why were those guys playing ghosts only targeting him?! His image and whatever else no longer mattered. Right now, he just wanted to go home. Jake was standing in front of the haunted house trying to calm down when the sudden ringtone of his phone scared him again.

He hurriedly took out his phone and answered it, and his father’s voice came from the other end. “Jake, do you have time to come home now? Dad has something to tell you.” “Okay, I’ll be right back.” When Jake got home, he saw his father and a woman sitting on the sofa, happily talking about something. After they noticed he had returned, both of their faces became a little nervous at the same time. After hesitating for a moment, his father was the first to speak. “Jake, this is Mrs. Young.” Thinking back to the scene when he had just entered the door, Jake understood now. This old guy had found love for the second time. All these years, his father had raised him alone, and it had not been easy. Now, he deserved to have his own happiness too. Jake looked at the woman with a grin. “Hello, Mrs. Young!” After exchanging pleasantries, they began chatting about family matters and kept talking until very late. Although his father asked him to stay for dinner, Jake still refused and said he did not want to disturb their time together. Walking alone on the road, Jake looked a little lonely. He was sincerely happy for his father’s happiness, but when he thought of his mother, who had already passed away, his heart ached again. He took out his phone and called Zack, saying he wanted to buy him drinks to make up for leaving them behind in the haunted house. After several bottles of alcohol, Jake was already lying on the bar counter, still shouting that he wanted to keep drinking. In his daze, he saw a figure walking toward him. As the distance between them closed, he felt more and more that this figure was strangely familiar… That person walked up to Jake and pulled him up from the bar counter. Only then did Jake see clearly that the person who had come was actually Evan. Looking at Evan’s face so close at hand, Jake’s eyes gradually reddened, and in the end, he threw himself directly into Evan’s arms and burst into tears. Evan simply stood there quietly, letting Jake sob and vent against his chest with tears and snot all over the place. When Jake groggily opened his eyes, he discovered that he was in a hotel! Jake sat up with one hand covering his hungover head, then suddenly realized that he was completely naked! Not only that, Evan was also lying naked beside him, and his backside hurt too!!! After his brain short-circuited for a few seconds, fragments of last night rushed back like a flood… Last night, after Evan helped him out of the bar, Evan asked for his home address, but his answer was actually, “Go home for what? Let’s get a room!” Evan very quickly put that into action and satisfied him, tossing him around in all kinds of positions for several hours… Someone tell him what was going on now! Wasn’t he the one chasing Evan?! Hadn’t Evan always ignored him? Oh my God! He must have woken up wrong this morning! Just as Jake was still in shock, Evan, who was beside him, opened his eyes. “We…” “Stop, stop, stop!!!” Jake quickly interrupted Evan’s voice. “Let’s stop right here and pretend nothing happened last night! I won’t keep pestering you anymore either!” Jake scrambled to put on his clothes. What the hell was this?! Although he had dated many times, the most he had ever done was hold hands… Great, just great! He had not even won the guy over yet, and his first time was already gone! Evan grabbed Jake and pulled him over. “Jake! Don’t even think about running away!” Jake looked at Evan in shock, while a faint smile slowly appeared on Evan’s face. Evan’s words and his smile both made Jake feel a chill down his spine. Why did it feel like he had fallen into a trap?! Jake remembered clearly that he had been drinking with Zack last night. Had that guy been turned against him?! No wonder there was a saying that the best hunters always appeared as prey. Well, damn, it turned out I was the prey all along!

After that, Jake ignored Evan and Zack for many days. Until one day, Jake received a call from his father asking him to have dinner with Mrs. Young and the others. Only then did Jake find out that Mrs. Young also had a son. When Jake arrived at the restaurant and saw Evan sitting at the table too, he froze on the spot. What did this mean?! Was he Mrs. Young’s son? Jake awkwardly walked to the table and sat down. His father’s face was full of a kind smile. “Jake, this is Mrs. Young’s son. He’s a little older than you, so he’ll be family from now on.” Jake looked at Evan, who wore a gentle smile, and only felt that he was fake to the extreme. But since his father and Mrs. Young were both beside them, he could only stiffly tug at the corner of his mouth and smile along, while inside, he was wildly cursing all eighteen generations of Evan’s ancestors. Throughout the meal, Jake felt like he was chewing wax. And when his father learned that Evan was a top student, he even suggested that Evan tutor Jake in his schoolwork! Jake really could not stand it anymore, so he planned to use the bathroom as an excuse to avoid Evan. As soon as Jake walked into the bathroom, Evan followed right after him. Evan approached Jake step by step, his charming eyes narrowing slightly. “Didn’t you say you wanted to chase me? Why are you hiding from me now? Hm…” Listening to that seductive voice, Jake could not help having the images from that night appear in his mind again. Just as Jake was about to speak, he heard Evan say again, “Do you want me to help you?” Jake thought in confusion, what did he want to help me with?… Suddenly, he seemed to think of something and looked at Evan in horror. Evan seemed to see the dirty thoughts in Jake’s mind. “Help you study. What else did you think it was?” Seeing the rich variety of expressions changing across Jake’s face, Evan lightly lifted the corner of his mouth and leaned close to his ear. “But… if you want something else, that’s fine too…” Jake pushed Evan away in horror. “You, you, you, what happened to your untouchable image?! Are you possessed now?” Seeing Jake’s incoherent state, Evan laughed even more freely. “That was before. Now I’m your…” Evan once again leaned close to Jake’s ear and whispered in that bewitching voice, “good boyfriend…” Jake stared at Evan with wide eyes. What the hell had he provoked?! While Jake was immersed in his own world, wanting to cry but having no tears, Evan’s hand had already quietly landed on his waist. Jake reacted and was so frightened that he shoved Evan away, turned around, and ran. In the blink of an eye, it was time to change seats again. Jake thought that now he could finally stay away from Evan, since his grades were always at the bottom. He watched as his classmates found their seats one after another and sat down, but the seat beside Evan remained empty the entire time. After the last classmate also chose to sit somewhere else, Jake could only accept his fate and walk over to sit beside Evan. Fine, Evan! So this was how you wanted to play it! However much Jake had wanted to get close to Evan before was exactly how much he wanted to stay away from him now! Now, whenever he saw Evan, he felt a faint pain in his ass.

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The gaming god made me fall for him, then ran away. I thought he ran because he thought I was trash at the game, so I forced myself to go from a useless noob to an all-around god. I always thought I was the kind of person who got motivated for love. I never expected that he was with me because I looked like the first love he could never have, the one torn away from him by a rich family. I could not take even a second of that, so I was going to pack up and run. I was in an online relationship. He was a war god on the rankings. After I confessed that I was a guy, he suddenly vanished from the entire internet. But at the National Rising Star Championship, I watched him hold the trophy and give his acceptance speech with bright, unstoppable confidence. The strongest jungler, Ethan Hale. That short but intense love filled my mind, and I watched the video of him receiving his award on my screen as I swore to myself. So what if he was a gaming god? I could do it too. I practiced all kinds of things every day and got beaten down over and over, until I finally went from a useless noob to an all-around player. I became the hot prospect every major team fought over. I joined Team XYG because I wanted to crush him hard and step on him! I wanted to make him wipe his tears and regret it! I still looked forward to meeting him, so when I first joined Team XYG, I specifically got my hair styled into seductive red waves. The manager brought me to the training villa and introduced me to the members. I stared at him in shock. He had one arm half around my shoulders, acting like we were buddies, and the corners of his mouth lifted to show his teeth. He was smiling like he did not have a care in the world! “Captain Hale, not bad. You finally recruited a pretty all-around girl into the team.” No way, did he not recognize me?

“Ethan, are your eyes broken?” One sentence from Ethan Hale controlled the entire room for thirty seconds. No one said a word. The manager coughed lightly and said, “Ethan, this is the all-around fill-in guy who has been really popular online lately, Logan Reed!” The hand on my shoulder quickly pulled away. Ethan touched his head and smiled. “My mistake. Nice hair texture.” “Ethan Hale, I don’t like people touching me.” I pulled away coldly. I tilted my head up slightly, expressionless. Inside, I was screaming that damn Ethan Hale had not recognized me! That fake bastard! After a simple introduction and handover, I stayed at the training villa. Team XYG’s support had retired due to injury, and since I could fill every role, I joined the team smoothly. “Fight for Team XYG, and I hope more people will come to know you.” At the welcome meeting, the manager bumped fists with us and spoke earnestly. Out of the corner of my eye, I secretly looked at Ethan. Ever since he found out I was a guy, his attitude instantly turned cold. Thinking about how intimate his touch had been when he thought I was a girl, my heart went cold in an instant. Then why did he make me fall for him and date me? The more I thought about it, the more wronged I felt. Wait, did he disappear from the internet because he liked girls?! Thinking of all the effort I had put in day and night, it turned out I was the clown!

The next day, the newcomer had to livestream for the team. Everything was rushed, and the team manager had not arranged a proper spot for me. “I’ll just find any chair and sit.” I casually pulled over a chair and sat beside the top laner. “Sit over here with me. There’s more space.” Ethan took the initiative to pull the chair out, and the two-person desk was spacious. I did not expect… that he would let me sit beside him. During those few short steps over, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. Ethan Hale, I forgive you for not recognizing me. “Ace, pinch me. Am I seeing things? Didn’t Ethan always use a single desk and never let anyone touch his stuff?” “Are you trying to kill me? Why did you pinch so hard? I don’t understand Ethan’s move either.” “You know Ethan is easy to get along with usually, but he is actually pretty serious about his personal belongings.” Listening to the chatter around me, my heart felt sweeter than honey as I sat in the chair. My ex, honestly, you are way too in love with me. “Logan, tie your hair up so it doesn’t affect your play. Girls online really seem to like your type,” the team manager suggested. I casually tied my red waves into a ponytail. Then I tucked my hair behind my ears. Team XYG had quite a lot of fans, and as soon as the livestream started, people flooded into the room like crazy. In just two minutes, the number of online viewers reached forty thousand. “Whoa, so handsome, so handsome!” “Hubby!! I want to have your babies!!” I smiled and waved at the fans. “Hi, everyone! I’m Team XYG’s support. Nice to meet you!” Once the popularity was high enough, the team manager also took out the question cards prepared in advance. “Welcome, Logan. We’re very curious why you joined a team to play professionally.” A classic question. Thinking back to the day he vanished from the entire internet, anger piled up in my chest. “It was because my ex dumped me for being bad at the game, so I worked hard to go pro and prove myself to him.” The whole screen filled with comments calling me lovesick. Looking at the fans’ crazy comments, I quickly tried to salvage it. “I’m joking, just livening up the mood. I’m super strong in real life, so how could I get dumped?” The team manager muted three people who started calling me a hopeless romantic. He shifted the topic to the other team members, and only then did he control the situation. Luckily, Ethan had gone out with a cigarette between his fingers and did not see it. I could not exactly talk trash about the person involved while he was wandering right in front of me…

“Play two friendly matches with random matchmaking.” We entered the game interface and confirmed the start. After selecting heroes and loading in, I saw a familiar ID on the other side. It was Ethan. “What do I do? I want both my husbands to win!!” “Looks like Logan is done for. I haven’t watched Ethan stream in ages!” “Don’t cry if Ethan crushes you. Come into my arms.” Crushed by him? They were really underestimating me a little.

I had studied his match videos many times and had long since become familiar with his playstyle. In less than ten minutes, I pushed towers all the way and smiled humbly while looking at the perfect victory on the screen. Sorry, I am a gaming god now too! I secretly pressed down the corner of my mouth that wanted to rise and put my hands on my hips in my heart with wild joy. My ex is only this good?! Watching the barrage fill with mockery and doubt toward him made me feel even better. On the surface, I still had to maintain team harmony. “Thank you, Ethan, for giving me my first win and letting me show everyone my skills.” The floating spaceship gift in the comments rose into the sky, and brilliant fireworks exploded across the screen. He sent that to me… did he still love me? While my thoughts ran wild, I saw his message appear in the public chat. “Duo with me.” The game invitation popped up right after. We could duo again. I was instantly thrown back into our ambiguous days. Who would understand? My ex had taken the initiative to invite me to play, and I had to hold back the urge to grin too wildly.

I hung above his head and healed him like crazy, while he killed like crazy, and we shoved down three towers in eight minutes. I looked at the message he sent. “Stay close to me.” “Don’t smile so hard, you look too in love.” “I now suspect Logan likes Ethan.” The comments flew everywhere, and fast-handed netizens had already finished making reaction memes. The meme of my lovestruck face had already started spreading. Team XYG chat. “We’re set. We will definitely win the Korean tournament,” the team manager wrote. The top laner, Zane, spammed the group with my lovestruck meme and wrote, “Look at Ethan’s unbeatable charm!” “By the way, Logan, are you really playing professionally for your ex? Don’t be a hopeless romantic. If you’re going to fall for someone, it has to be Ethan,” mid laner K teased. The truth was always said out loud as a joke. Ethan went straight for the face and admitted, “I’m the ex.” In less than a minute, only the two of us were left in the six-person group chat.

I had just shut down my computer when the door was locked from the inside. The four of them surrounded me and forced a confession. “Did you two really date?” “Are you the simp or the first love?” Simp? First love? Their eyes were full of curiosity and probing. I was just about to spill our entire dating diary and the fact that he had made me fall for men. Then there was a knock on the door. “Are you all that free?” Ethan stood at the doorway. The three cowards left, and he stood at the door. I opened my mouth and really wanted to ask him why he had vanished from the internet. The words choked in my throat and stopped there. “Don’t you owe me an explanation?” I looked at the man pressing his lips together coldly. I could not see through his heart. As long as he… explained to me and told me clearly why he left without a word, or if something had stopped him… “This hair color is pretty seductive. You haven’t changed.” Ethan looked me over. I stood there nervously. No, wait, I was clearly supposed to judge him… but it had turned into me waiting for his explanation. “That’s it?” I frowned and waited for him to ask to get back together. “Your skills have improved a lot. Your hair would go well with a dress.” After Ethan said that, he left behind a “get some rest early” and walked away. I watched his back disappear down the hallway. A dress?! I went back to my room distractedly and kept turning those words over in my head. Did he really like women?! I had rehearsed the scene of our reunion in my mind so many times… But I had never imagined he would be cold.

Because our relationship had been exposed, we went straight into zero contact. Everyone focused on training for the upcoming matches, and he always stayed in his room without coming out. My plan to chase my ex finally made a little progress again. At noon, he ordered food for us. K quickly opened the food, and his eyes lit up. “Ethan, there’s a chicken drumstick today!” One hand quickly took the meal away and placed it in front of me. “Were you starved in a past life? This is for Logan.” K wailed, “Ethan, I haven’t eaten a chicken drumstick in ages.” Seeing that K was craving it, I gave him the drumstick. “Eat it. You’re practically drooling.” Ethan frowned as he looked at a certain someone’s sharp collarbones. “Team XYG doesn’t have a habit of starving people. Eat more.” As the gossip spectator, Zane clicked his tongue. “Tsk, tsk. I think old flames are burning again. Tsk, tsk.” The chicken drumstick returned to my bowl. My chase-my-man diary had progress again, and this meal tasted so sweet! “Captain Hale definitely likes women. If I were a girl, I would absolutely win him over!” Bang. Then came the sound of coughing. Tomorrow afternoon, Team XYG had a friendly match against Team Dragon God. Zane and K both cheered me on and told me to target mid lane tomorrow. K quietly looked back, and Zane quickly locked the door, both looking as if facing a great enemy. “The first love Captain Hale likes is someone from Dragon God.” That one sentence froze me for a full minute, and my mind went foggy. Was I the simp? Or was I the clown? “But we’re all rooting for you. Smash Dragon God and steal Captain Hale back home as your trophy wife!” I wanted to go home… so it turned out all of this had been my own willing delusion… The grievance that had built up for so long burst at the slightest touch. Tears fell without even telling me first.

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I was always secretly watching him from the corner. When I learned he had kidney disease, I got tested as a match right away and prayed he would be safe. When he was finally discharged, he gave me a burning hug, and it was truly warm. The diary I had hidden on the second shelf of the bookcase was exposed to everyone by his girlfriend. Ethan Blackwood looked at me with disgust. “You freak, fantasizing about someone of the same sex. You’re disgusting. Get lost!” He thought I was filthy, evil, and in need of corrective treatment, so he personally sent me to a conversion center. My six years scattered with one gust of wind. The day I left the conversion center, the sun was bright, and someone with dirty blood did not deserve to live in this world. At my funeral, he held my gravestone and sobbed. He begged to spend the rest of our lives together in the next life. This year was the sixth year since we met. He was the illegitimate son despised by his family. I was just an orphan. Even so, we still built an empire, and we even reorganized and acquired the Blackwood family’s shares. I also became his capable assistant and private secretary. Mrs. Blackwood praised us for being so close and took me in as her godson, and he became my brother in name. Ethan Blackwood finally became a business titan. I thought everything was going smoothly until the physical exam. He was diagnosed with kidney failure. “You can look into what conditions require a kidney transplant.” I directed them to do the matching tests and prayed he would be safe. Maybe God blessed us, because we were not related by blood, but our compatibility was extremely high, so I donated one kidney. The surgery went smoothly, and there was no rejection. On the day he was discharged, his eyes were red as he hugged me. Our bodies were pressed tightly together, and I could smell the clean sandalwood scent on him. But his girlfriend raised my secret crush diary. In front of everyone, she read it aloud. I pressed my lips together, lowered my head, and did not dare look at his reaction. “Everyone thinks these two are as close as brothers, but Caleb Hayes is a freak!” “I never thought we could merge together. My kidney inside his body counts as us being inseparable too.” Ethan’s pupils shook in shock. The scar on the right side of my waist still throbbed faintly. His kidney… intimately merged… All the relatives present frowned and moved away in disgust. They were afraid of touching the filthy me. Lily Monroe questioned me with tears in her eyes. “I finally understand why you didn’t agree to our wedding. This is your reason!” “No…” I tried to argue and wanted to snatch the diary back, because it was not like that… I had always buried this feeling deep in my heart. She held the diary and dodged backward, deliberately falling down the stairs. I wanted to pull her back. I saw the malicious and reckless smile on her face. She fell heavily onto the stairs, and her forehead hit the handrail, leaving a bruise. Ethan ran downstairs and picked her up in his arms. I grabbed his clothes and tried to explain, but I only touched a bit of his skin. Ethan shoved me away violently. I hit the stair railing, and my back hurt so badly, but my heart hurt even more. “You freak, fantasizing about someone of the same sex. You’re disgusting. Get lost!” He ordered his assistant to send me to a conversion center so they could wash the filthy things out of my brain and blood. A black car came to take me away. I watched one heavy, rotten iron gate after another close behind me. The treating doctor showed me a video. Ethan proposed to Lily in the hospital room and put a diamond ring on her finger. The plain and simple hospital room had been decorated beautifully, and the diamond ring on her hand sparkled too. What a beautiful proposal ceremony. The image changed, and I saw Ethan wearing a smile that came from the bottom of his heart before he signed his name on the consent form. Voluntarily accepting treatment.

“Congratulations. I hope we won’t meet again, and you must not disclose the contents of our treatment.” Dr. Warren sent me to the entrance. Just like the day I arrived, the same black car was still at the gate. He had come. Fragmented sunlight shone through the trees and fell on him, draping him in a layer of golden gauze and softening his features. At six feet tall, with handsome features, he attracted attention just by standing there. I stood at the gate with the diary Dr. Warren had returned to me. Watching him walk toward me, I could not help hunching my shoulders and backing away. That was daily life in the conversion center. Every day, Dr. Warren would hold Ethan’s photo and ask me over and over, “Do you still love him?” Whether I answered or stayed silent, I would suffer electric shocks. As long as I moved, they shocked me. For an entire year, I lay on a cold bed and endured electric currents. The piercing electricity felt like dense needles. It kept stabbing me. It hurt so much, and I was afraid to see him… Dr. Warren stood beside me with terrifying eyes. “Remember not to make mistakes again, or we will have to meet again.” I walked toward Ethan, unable to breathe. I watched the rotten iron gate, marked by time, slowly close. This was hell, and I could not wait to escape. “Get in.” Ethan took the initiative to open the passenger door. “Thank you.” I carefully opened the back seat door and looked out the window while holding my notebook. Every time I saw Ethan, I remembered that dark life of electric shocks. I could not help keeping my distance from him. “You… how have you been this past year?” His gaze came through the rearview mirror. He saw the diary in my hands. “All of this is already in the past. I heard from the doctor that your reform went very well.” I could feel the disgust in his gaze gathering on this diary. But this diary was full of my feelings for him. “Mm.” I turned my head and looked at the scenery outside the window. My knuckles turned slightly white as I gripped the diary. “I don’t want to see that diary.” That was right. This diary was full of my fantasies about him, full of surging love. He thought I was something filthy… even my blood was dirty. I put the diary in the trunk. I watched the route on the GPS become more and more familiar, and the black car stopped in the garage of the Blackwood family villa. Looking at the place that was still familiar, it seemed like nothing had changed. “I want to go home.” I bit my lip and resisted. She had read the diary aloud, and I did not dare look Mrs. Blackwood in the eyes at all. Mrs. Blackwood had cared for me and said I was her godson, but I had secretly hidden those thoughts. “This is your home.” Ethan opened the car door. He stood in front of me, and the distance between us was close, so I could still smell the fresh sandalwood scent. His eyes only held me, and with just one movement, my heart fell into chaos. The time of treatment echoed in my mind like a movie playing in reverse. To resist the electric shocks, I could only submit. Yet this heart still beat for him. The evening wind brushed my face. Remembering Dr. Warren’s creepy smile, I reined in my thoughts and got out of the car. The round table was covered with food. Mrs. Blackwood greeted me cheerfully. “I cooked a whole table of food myself.” Looking at the food that looked excellent, I had just wanted to praise it. But the door suddenly opened. Lily and a young girl walked in hand in hand, smiling. The atmosphere was strange. It felt more like a trap. I did not know this extra girl. Mrs. Blackwood pulled me over and made us sit on the same sofa. I understood.

“Caleb, you and Jenna are such a good match.” The girl Mrs. Blackwood introduced to me. “Yes, a handsome man and a beautiful woman.” Ethan also chimed in. They echoed each other. His words were like steel needles piercing my heart and stomping it underfoot, and broken, unbearable pain swept over me. Yet their gazes were all full of expectation. My whole body stiffened, and my fingers could not help trembling. “Let’s eat. You young people should spend more time together and go for a walk.” Lily held Ethan’s hand and acted coquettishly. The workload had increased recently. The sounds around me became like surround sound. Mrs. Blackwood put food into my bowl. “People have to get married and have children when they reach a certain age. Getting married, having children, and continuing the bloodline seemed to be the ultimate goal of all humans. When you reached a certain age, you had to complete the corresponding task, or you were a defective person. … When I was at the conversion center. I had also stubbornly talked back. “Do people really have to get married? There can be true love between people of the same sex too.” Dr. Warren sneered. “As a man, you should stand tall and upright. Liking the same sex is filthy by nature. Your blood and brain are hiding dirty things, so let me help you wash them clean.” He made a treatment plan for me. He locked me in a small room with only half a window for ventilation, and every day, they kept throwing feces and urine inside. The walls of the once-white room were covered in stains, and flies flew everywhere. I was locked up for a full week. I collapsed on the floor, my clothes covered in stains, feces, and urine. I was afraid of that kind of life. I had never been trampled under someone’s feet and had my dignity crushed. Only if I behaved well could I avoid being tortured. I gave in. “Mrs. Blackwood, you’re right.” I could clearly see Mrs. Blackwood relax. Yes, they all liked hearing me answer like this. When we first met. Jenna Lewis chattered and asked me many questions. She also poured me several glasses of wine. I lay dizzily on the sofa to rest, and my mind was still a little detached, but I could hear them chatting. I listened to them laugh and gossip. “Lily, that’s so nice. When are you holding the wedding? I’m so jealous you get to marry Mr. Blackwood, but I heard there’s a friend by his side who’s madly in love with him. Now you don’t only have to guard against women, but also men…” The faint drunkenness vanished instantly. I pressed my lips together and carefully eavesdropped. Maybe it was because of the alcohol, but their conversation was open and bold. “I also heard that Mr. Blackwood once fed him medicine, and he even wrote it in his diary! Now I really have to ask the person involved. What does it feel like when a man does that to you? Do your fingers go all tingly?” Her voice was full of malicious amusement. When I turned my head, I could see Lily propping up her arm and looking at me provocatively. “It’s getting late. Go home.” Ethan’s face was dark as he ordered Lily to see the guest out. He grabbed my arm and dragged me upstairs. We entered the study.

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When passion ran high, Ethan Blackwood fastened a woman’s nightgown around me and told me to get on my knees. The tie around my throat cut off the oxygen to my brain, and I let him degrade me. All because I had loved him for twelve years, and at last, I thought my wish had come true. But early the next morning, feverish and burning up, I was slapped unconscious by his adopted sister, who mistook me for a rent boy. Ethan woke me and told me to go to Frost Pavilion that night to clear up the misunderstanding with his adopted sister, meet his friends, and receive my rightful place. I got lost and accidentally entered the control room, where I heard voices coming from the surveillance feed. “To marry little Princess Chloe, you really made one hell of a sacrifice, huh?” Ethan looked tenderly at Chloe Blackwood, who was drinking milk. “My family won’t agree to me marrying Chloe, so I had to use the broken-window effect and find a man to force them to lower their standards.” “Dress him up and play with him, and he’s no different from a woman.” In an instant, my whole body went cold, and I collapsed to the floor. Then I heard Ethan agree to those men’s request to try something new. He said, “Julian Lane will be here soon, so enjoy yourselves.”

Their jeering pierced my eardrums. I staggered out of the control room in a mess, wanting only to leave. But as I passed the private room, my ringtone suddenly rang. The door was yanked open, and Ethan looked down at me from above. “Go in and apologize to Chloe first.” My teeth chattered, and the slap mark on my face was still bright red. Ethan ignored my refusal. After I was dragged into the private room, countless sticky gazes lunged at me and swallowed me inch by inch. I could not think about anything else, so I apologized in panic. I thought I could leave faster if I apologized. But Chloe sobbed, “Ethan, don’t force Julian anymore, it’s all my fault.” I froze on the spot, and the words I wanted to use to defend myself stuck in my throat. Everyone accused me of not knowing what was good for me and making her cry. They shouted that they should teach me a lesson to vent Chloe’s anger. Ethan also protected Chloe and ordered me to kneel in a hostile tone. My heart was full of shock and bitterness, and as I said it was impossible, I backed toward the door. But someone suddenly kicked the back of my knee, and I fell to the ground. Someone grabbed my hair viciously, and the pain made tears spill from my eyes. At Ethan’s signal, his friends slammed my head heavily against the floor and forced me to beg for mercy and apologize. I clenched my teeth, blood covering my face. “I did nothing wrong…” Chloe smiled bleakly and pulled her hand out of Ethan’s. “It’s my fault.” In an instant, the person behind me became even more brutal. I convulsed from the pain, while Ethan focused only on comforting Chloe. “How about I take you to the prairie to ride horses?” Ethan had gone too far last night, then promised to take me to Montana and ride the horses his mother had left there. He knew I loved open fields and freedom, and that I could not refuse. Now he did not even look at me, gave that promise to Chloe, and said, “Julian stays here.” “Liam and the others said they wanted to try something new, didn’t they? They’ll teach Julian a proper lesson for you.” I was discarded like trash, and Ethan left holding Chloe’s hand. Chloe stepped on the back of my hand with her high heel and ground it down hard several times, then looked back with a mocking and contemptuous gaze. Her lips moved silently: filthy rent boy. Cold sweat mixed with blood streamed down my face, and in a haze, I begged. “Ethan, don’t do this to me… You said you wouldn’t bully me anymore.” I had been sponsored by the Blackwood family, had loved him for twelve years, and had let him bring people to bully me for ten years. Last night, he held me in his arms and said every sweet word imaginable. I believed every single one. We had agreed to grow old together, but after a mere twenty-four hours, only the ridiculous and naive me remained. Ethan’s expression did not look good, as if he was hesitating. But when Chloe shed another tear, he gave up on me. I fought with all my strength, grabbed a shard of glass from the floor, pressed it against my artery, and said through chattering teeth, “Let me go!” Ethan burned with rage, grabbed my wrist, and forced me to loosen my hand. “Julian Lane!” “What are you so unwilling about? Didn’t you scheme your way into my bed for money?” “I’m introducing you to new clients, so why are you pretending to be so pure?” I never thought that was how Ethan saw me. All the words I wanted to use to explain fell silent in my chest. He looked down at me from above. “If that’s the case, then get lost and go to the red-light district to learn how to serve men.”

I was dragged to the red-light district in the slums. On a crude wooden bed, I spent two years living a life worse than death, and I developed severe depression. Madam Zoe lit a cigarette and looked at me with some pity. “Look at you, a perfectly good college student, and somehow you offended so many powerful people.” I stared at the ceiling without any reaction. I remembered what Chloe had said. “Ethan gave the orders, and they’ll make sure you only take old, ugly, broke losers, so you learn your lesson.” I could not forget the disgust in Mr. Blackwood’s eyes either. “I sponsored you, and this is how you repay me? Messing around with my son like that? I think you must not want to live!” He brought in infected men, one after another, and sent them into my tiny cubicle day and night for thirty straight days. The ulcers on my body began to hurt again, and I trembled as I crawled up, fell to the floor, grabbed the painkillers in the drawer, and swallowed an entire handful. In my daze, I seemed to hear Madam Zoe say, “Clean yourself up, someone is here to pick you up.” I was already rotten all the way through, so no one would care about me. Thinking of that, I tugged at the corner of my mouth self-mockingly, then lay on the floor and closed my eyes. When I heard footsteps, my body moved from muscle memory, and I crawled up, knelt at the man’s feet, and reached out to undo his belt buckle. “Do you want protection, sir? Two dollars each.” I received no answer for a long time, but I kept moving anyway. Here, too many people hesitated over five dollars, and I had long since gotten used to it. But this time, what I heard was not a reluctant “yes.” Instead, it was a low roar suppressed with rage. “Julian Lane! Are you really this cheap?” My whole body shook, and my muscles spasmed instantly. Almost the next second, I prostrated myself and apologized mechanically. “This slut knows he was wrong, this slut will never dare disobey your orders again, and this slut will never dare make the little princess cry again.” I kept knocking my head against the floor, again and again, and I could not feel the pain. I saw the shock in Ethan’s eyes, but there was not the slightest ripple in my heart. It was clearly his order, so I did not know what he was pretending for. Ethan grabbed my arm and lifted my weightless body up, and I stumbled as I met his gaze. “I really won’t dare again…” Disgust flashed through Ethan’s eyes. But he took off his suit jacket and threw it over my head. “Wash yourself clean and come back with me.” When I heard I could leave, I no longer cared about anything. I never wanted to experience these days worse than death again. I promised in a trembling voice, “Don’t worry, I will never have any improper thoughts again, and I will listen to you and the little princess.” “Whoever you and the little princess want me to serve, I will serve.” I lowered myself to the humblest position, but Ethan was actually dissatisfied. With a dark expression, he told me to shut up, and I shrank back and fell silent. I showered as ordered, and in the cracked mirror, I saw a version of myself that could never be clean again, but my eyes were calm. Ethan was actually still waiting there. He sat on a wobbly chair with one broken leg and lit a cigarette. “My family agreed to let me marry Chloe.” I lowered my head dully. “Congratulations.” The broken-window effect had truly worked, and he got what he wanted. But my lifelong wish had shattered two years ago. “Weren’t you a broadcasting major? Chloe said she wants you to be the officiant at our wedding.” His voice was light and ordinary, and he did not think anything was wrong. He fully supported Chloe using the wedding to hurt me and humiliate me. But my voice had been completely ruined. I did not know how many burning cigarette butts had been shoved into my throat. Ethan did not hear it, or maybe he simply did not care.

I agreed. As long as there was a chance to escape, I would not give it up. When I spoke, the smell of smoke made me cough, and a choking sensation surged up, making me wave my hands wildly. I skillfully fell against the nightstand, pulled out my asthma inhaler, and saved myself. The whole process took less than a minute, and I escaped from death’s door again. “I forgot you have asthma.” There was a little regret in Ethan’s tone. I shook my head to show it did not matter, because in the past two years, I had long grown used to wandering along the edge of life and death. After all, here, there was no man who did not smoke. Seeing that his manners kept him from crushing the cigarette butt out on the floor, and that he was pinching it without knowing where to put it out, I obediently knelt beside him and held out both hands. My hands had once been extremely beautiful, but now my palms were covered in cigarette scars. Ethan stood up abruptly in shock, and the cigarette butt fell to the floor. “What happened to this? Why are they like this?!” I looked up in confusion, then lowered my eyes submissively. “It’s all my fault for not being obedient, but I won’t be like that anymore.” “With these hands like this, they make people feel even better.” When I touched them, no man could resist that soul-melting sensation. But Ethan suddenly grew angry and sneered as he called me filthy. I did not refute him, and I obediently got into his car to go home. Chloe came to greet us from a distance, and only then did Ethan’s tightly furrowed brows relax slightly, and a smile appeared on his face. He gently tapped the tip of Chloe’s nose. “Everything is ready, so you can marry me now, right?” He gave Chloe the grandest wedding, and every part of it was filled with my favorite elements. Blue irises filled the entire venue. Countless love letters hung from the ceiling. Even the wedding suit was the exact design I had drawn in my diary. I suddenly fell into a daze and froze in place. Chloe affectionately linked her arm through mine and smiled. “What do you think of this wedding? Do you like it?” “To repay me, shouldn’t you invite me to watch a good show?” I did not quite understand, and my whole body went stiff as I walked into the venue. In the next instant, someone viciously yanked me away. Ethan shielded Chloe behind him and looked at me warily. “What exactly are you trying to do by tricking Chloe into getting close to you?” I froze, and my very soft “nothing” was cut off. Chloe persuaded Ethan to leave, and the wedding proceeded smoothly. Before going onstage, I casually drank a glass of water to moisten my throat. Under my guidance as the host, the man I loved most married his adopted sister, the woman he had always truly loved, and spoke his vows. As I watched them exchange rings, I suddenly grew so hot that my mind became unclear, and I let out an indecent sound in front of everyone. There was something wrong with that glass of water! Before I had time to explain, the big screen flickered strangely and began playing footage of me confessing my love beneath Ethan that night. My hidden diary was also revealed. It recorded the wedding arrangement I had dreamed of, and it was exactly the same as today’s venue setup. The crowd erupted, and people raised their hands to tear down the hanging love letters. They were filled with my dirty thoughts about Ethan. From eighteen to thirty, I was stripped bare and forced to endure a slow, naked execution. The bouquet in Chloe’s hands fell to the floor, and she cried as she questioned me. “I begged Ethan to save you and bring you back, so why did you have to ruin my wedding?”

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🚗 For the sake of a substitute, my brother and my lover humiliated me in every possible way. They saw me as disgusting trash and handed everything that belonged to me to Noah Vale with both hands. Noah Vale trampled on my dignity and smiled coldly. “Julian Hale, you’re so pathetic. No one loves you…” But after he learned of my death, Noah Vale went insane. “Julian Hale, why don’t you just die?” It was hard to imagine that such vicious words came from my childhood sweetheart and lover. He grabbed my collar and shook my thin, paper-like body. “It was only a little blood for Noah, and you ran away in a tantrum. Do you know you almost got Noah killed?” My body was numb and stiff, and for a moment my head spun while my stomach churned violently. A little blood… He seemed unable to see the rows of bruised needle marks covering my arms. He also could not see my skin-and-bones body, nor my despair and helplessness. His gaze and my brother’s had long been completely drawn to Noah Vale. When Noah Vale appeared, I was overseas for treatment. After I came back, he had already made both my brother and my lover obsessed with him. His health was poor too, so I seemed to naturally become his blood bank. “I won’t donate blood to him anymore,” I said in a hoarse voice. I was dying. My illness had never been cured, and everything I had experienced after returning home had already drained me dry. Adrian Sterling looked at me coldly. “That isn’t up to you. Filthy trash like you only has this one use left. Otherwise, why would we keep you around?” He let go in disgust, and my body went weak as I fell to the hospital floor. For a split second, I even felt dazed, wondering if I had developed some kind of persecution delusion. I could not believe that the Adrian Sterling who had touched my head at the airport three years ago and told me not to be afraid would become like this. He had clearly said he would love me forever and wait for me forever. He had clearly said no one would ever take my place. I pulled at my stiff facial muscles and smiled. “There’s no need to keep me around anymore,” I said, looking up at him. “As you wished, I’m dying soon.” When I said those words, I felt a long-lost sense of relief. It was the relief of breaking free from every shackle, and even the unwillingness and anger tangled like weeds in my chest disappeared. Dying could count as liberation too.

Adrian Sterling made no effort to hide his disgust for me. “Stop playing such cheap tricks. They only make you look more disgusting.” His steps showed no hesitation as he left and went to Noah Vale’s ward. I dragged this body that felt like it was about to fall apart to my feet and slowly left while holding on to the wall. I had expected this outcome long ago. In the years after I returned home, I had resisted and argued countless times. I tried to make Adrian Sterling and Marcus Hale know Noah Vale’s true colors. I tried to find the old versions of them again. But I failed, over and over again. What I received from beginning to end was only humiliation. The way they looked at me grew colder and darker, and their rejection of me became more obvious. They indulged Noah Vale as he threw his weight around. Noah Vale was spoiled to the extreme, so it was common for him to bully me. No one stood up for me, and I had gotten used to it long ago. After finally crawling back to my old rented room, I squeezed myself and the blanket onto the cramped little bed. It was too cold, and the chill was like needles embedded in the cracks of my bones. Dense stabbing pain came from my stomach, and I propped myself up before vomiting blood all over the floor. I fainted from the pain and hung there by the edge of the bed, barely staying up. When I woke up again, my phone had already been bombarded by messages and calls from Adrian Sterling. The first thing I saw was his questioning. [The moment we mention donating a kidney to Noah, you disappear. Is this fun for you? You really are a cold-blooded monster. No matter where you hide, I’ll drag you out.] [Your kidney belongs to Noah.] It was Noah Vale’s trick again, and whatever he wanted, Adrian Sterling would offer up with both hands. Soon, this precious Mr. Vale lowered himself to call me. He openly admitted that nothing was wrong with him at all, and he only wanted to see how pathetic a stray dog like me could get. I listened in silence as his tone went from smug to furious from embarrassment. “Julian Hale, speak!” Noah Vale ordered loudly. “Who gave you the nerve to ignore me? Why are you ignoring me? Why are you pretending you can’t hear me?” Too noisy. I hung up tiredly and lay down properly, and the violent twisting pain had already subsided. While they were trying to catch me, I was only lying here and barely clinging to life. Look, if they cared even a little, how could they not know where I lived? I never expected that the first person to break down my door would be him. Noah Vale. He arrived not long after I hung up on him.

He stood inside the small, empty room. He wore an expensive custom suit and stepped in handmade leather shoes worth a fortune, looking completely out of place here. I still remembered that this artisan had once made leather shoes only for me. Noah Vale had not even said he liked them, yet he got them. Adrian Sterling believed his Noah deserved the best things. Trash like me did not deserve them. The blood on the floor had not yet been cleaned up, and Noah Vale narrowed his sharp eyes. “I want your kidney. That shouldn’t make you so angry you cough up blood,” Noah Vale said as he looked down at me. “Or are you putting on an act here, waiting for Adrian Sterling to find you and feel sorry for you?” He crouched down, pinched my face, and said coldly, “That will never happen.” He said, “You’re too pathetic. No one loves you.” My body was too weak, and resisting Noah Vale did nothing. Before my fist could hit his face, he forced me away and locked me up. Inside the huge villa, Noah Vale chained me to the bed. “Everything you have is mine. You just wait here while I take away everything you cherish.” Before long, I was pressed into the hospital. Noah Vale and Adrian Sterling controlled me strictly, and I failed when I tried to call the police. My kidney was removed, and Adrian Sterling busied himself around Noah Vale with concern. Even Marcus Hale, who had been overseas, flew back and stayed by his side every second. They were terrified that anything might happen to Noah Vale. In a corner no one cared about, my condition worsened, and I had nowhere to turn for help. I had known long ago that I was dying, but the fear of death still drowned me. I only saw Marcus Hale’s back, yet because of the fear brought by death, I actually developed an unrealistic hope for him. He was my brother, and after our parents died, he had loved me since we were children. He said, “It’s okay that Mom and Dad are gone. You still have me.” But when I crawled in a mess and clutched his pant leg, begging him, he only kicked me away in disgust. “How did you become like this? Are you even trying to steal Noah’s medical resources now?” Marcus Hale looked at me in disappointment. “Why do you always like stealing Noah’s things? Haven’t we given you enough?” Was I the one stealing Noah Vale’s things? “I didn’t, Marcus…” My mouth was full of the taste of blood, and the wound hurt so badly that my hands kept shaking. “I didn’t steal his things. I’m really in pain. I’m really dying.” Marcus Hale said viciously, “Then go die.”

He said I should kneel and apologize to Noah Vale before I died. When I climbed up, I seemed to feel that my body had already reached its limit. “Absolutely not,” I said, looking straight at him. “I never did anything wrong.” When Marcus Hale heard me say that, he became even more furious. “Never did anything wrong? How dare you say that?” “When you were little and didn’t know better, you took the money I nearly killed myself earning and went out to waste it, then said you lost it. If Noah hadn’t brought over his own tuition money, we would have died that winter! Noah was nearly beaten to death by his foster parents because of that!” “And what about you? You shamelessly told me you were the one who found the missing money and deceived me for so long. To keep your lie from being exposed, you even forced Noah away and caused him to disappear for so many years.” “What’s worse is that when Adrian Sterling was attacked during the family power struggle and was stuffed into a ferry to be sent away and abandoned, the person who saved him was clearly Noah, but you said it was you. Yet at that time, you were clearly in the hospital receiving treatment!” I looked at the red veins filling his eyes because of his rage, as if he wanted to eat me alive. The feeling of not being trusted was not good at all. Only now did I know why they had become like this. They were not even willing to ask me a single question, nor were they willing to investigate at all. Just like that, they declared me guilty. “I didn’t.” I was exhausted in body and mind. “Back then, the money was stolen by Noah Vale, and I went out to chase him. I was also the one who saved Adrian Sterling. At that time, my condition worsened, and I had no choice but to leave after getting him settled.” I did not force Noah Vale away; he was the one who could not endure his foster parents’ abuse and ran away. I never expected Noah Vale to find the injured Adrian Sterling and take my place. But Marcus Hale did not believe a single word I said. He closed his eyes, and his voice sank. “You’re still slandering Noah even now. I’m so disappointed in you.” “If you had left with Mom and Dad back then, you wouldn’t have become this vicious.” After leaving those words behind, Marcus Hale walked away cleanly and coldly. Blood soaked through the gauze and hospital gown, and that patch of red stung my eyes. With the last bit of money I had, I went from place to place seeking medical help, but not a single hospital would take me in. Marcus Hale and Adrian Sterling had been ruthless enough. I no longer had enough money to take a cab back to my remote rented room. The weather was too cold, and the chill seeped into my thin, cheap cotton coat. My body was so cold it stiffened, and my wound became inflamed and filled with pus. The high fever made me lose control of my limbs, and I fell onto a deserted road. My stomach twisted in pain, and I felt as if I was being sliced apart alive. Gradually, I lost consciousness. When I woke up again, all the pain in my body had disappeared, and I felt unbelievably light. II had just wanted to touch my wound, but my hand passed straight through my body. When I looked up in panic, I saw myself lying by the roadside, already no longer breathing. Oh, so I was dead.

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