At the company’s mid-year gala, my boss offered to set me up on a blind date. Drunk and emotional, I tearfully admitted I hadn’t moved on from my ex. My colleagues, hungry for gossip, pressed for details. The boss sitting at the head of the table looked increasingly uncomfortable. “This ex of yours… his last name wouldn’t happen to be Sterling, would it?” 1 The executives immediately sobered up, exchanging glances. I was slumped on the table, enjoying a baby-like slumber. I completely missed the boss’s question. The colleagues around me, energized by the gossip, shook me vigorously. “Don’t sleep, Autumn! Tell us more!” I lifted my head with difficulty. “Tell you what?” “Is your ex’s family rich?” “Extremely, obscenely rich.” I spread my arms wide. “His kitchen… has a whole row of fridges, all filled with premium seafood people gifted him.” “How did you meet?” “We were high school classmates.” I mumbled a response, sitting there trying to recover. My body found the camera before my eyes did. I immediately started managing my expression. Only to realize it was the big boss at the head of the table, Charles Chen, sneakily filming me with his phone. “Mr. Chen, why are you filming me?” Charles was handsome, and scandalous rumors about him were plentiful. Among the group executives, he was the most gossiped about. He was known as the Second Prince. He had a Crown Prince older brother above him. But a year ago, the Crown Prince was transferred, and Charles took over management. Rank-wise, I shouldn’t be sitting at the same table as him. But today was the mid-year gala. And I was one of the top three revenue-generating streamers across all sectors last year. Sales, interviews, group broadcasts—I hit every target. To show appreciation, the leadership allowed top-performing employees to sit with them. Charles pursed his lips and gestured for me to continue. “Nothing, go on. I want to hear it too.” “Let’s not talk about relationships… it’s embarrassing.” I subconsciously dropped a cherry tomato into my wine glass. Realizing belatedly that I was drinking with clients (or bosses), I fished the fruit out and ate it. Sour. Charles hissed. “Embarrassing?” He seemed to want to laugh but held it back. “Is dating that ex of yours embarrassing?” I shook my head. “Not that he’s embarrassing. I was just a failure back then.” “That shouldn’t be,” he led the conversation. “If you were a failure, why would he be with you?” I didn’t say anything. He winked at the people around him. Several half-drunk executives immediately got up, saying they were going to mingle at other tables. Seeing this, my colleagues also slipped away one by one. Baffled, I decided to leave with them. Charles quickly looked up, clearing his throat. “Where are you going? Your performance last year was excellent. Let’s talk about a raise.” I shivered and scooted back to my seat. I filled my glass, following muscle memory to give a thank-you speech. “Thank you for your appreciation, Mr. Chen. Cheers.” “Sit, sit. Don’t drink.” He held down my glass. “Tell me, Sterling… how did your ex’s mom persuade you to break up? Did she scold you or threaten you?” She didn’t. She was very kind. That was when I was a senior in college. Since confirming my relationship with Ethan Sterling in sophomore year, I would stay at his place for a few days during winter and summer breaks. His mother showed up suddenly one afternoon. I was sleeping on the sofa and was startled awake by a knock. I thought Ethan was back. Running to open the door, I found a strange woman. She looked 30% like Ethan. She saw me and wasn’t surprised. And she didn’t seem to be looking for Ethan. I greeted her very slowly, “Hello, Auntie.” “Autumn, hello.” She smiled. “Shall we go inside and chat?” I guessed her intention immediately. She said her last name was Hoffman, from the Hoffman shipping family in Hong Kong. Her marriage to Mr. Sterling was an alliance. Their businesses complemented each other perfectly. They had been harmoniously married for years, and Ethan was their only son. Perhaps Mr. Sterling had selfish motives. But Ethan’s position was secure. Provided he didn’t mess up. Provided he didn’t expose a weakness for outsiders to exploit. “Ethan is capable, and I trust him. He doesn’t really need marriage to secure himself.” Mrs. Sterling gathered her clutch, changing the subject. “However, marriage alliances are a way to gather support.” “If he doesn’t do it, someone else will.” “If others realize his wife’s family is weak and use marriage to find allies to wrestle with him, that wouldn’t be good.” With every sentence she spoke, my back stiffened a little more. Pins and needles. Let’s get this over with. I kept my head down. “Mrs… Mrs. Sterling, what… what do you want me to do?” She watched me picking at my hands, seemingly with a hint of pity. “Autumn, I’ve known about you since high school.” “Back then, Ethan mentioned your name all the time at home.” “Later, I looked into your school. I know your parents are traditional, you came out of the mountains thanks to poverty alleviation programs, and got into a top university on grades alone.” “A very difficult path for a girl.” “You are smart and pretty.” “But to be our daughter-in-law, you don’t have to be exceptionally excellent, but you can’t have too big of a shortcoming.” “Originally, I didn’t want to separate you two so quickly.” “But Ethan is graduating. You’re staying in the country, and he’s unwilling to go abroad.” “So, Autumn, consider him, and consider yourself.” She opened her clutch. And pressed a thin check onto the coffee table. I quickly wiped my face, daring not look up. “Okay, okay, I understand. I won’t… won’t see you out, okay?” Her soft shawl brushed past my fluffy pajamas. The scent was faint, like sandalwood in a temple. The sandalwood scent faded. She closed the door as if she had never been there. I went to the room to pack. Only when I started packing did I realize there was so much stuff. Clothes and socks filled a corner of the walk-in closet. Jewelry, hair ties, and toiletries Ethan casually bought for me. Plants I raised, pillows, dolls, ornaments I bought, unused sanitary pads. It was impossible to fit into the one suitcase I came with. I stuffed things in and took them out. Jewelry with no obvious price tag stayed behind. Toiletries had to be taken. I definitely wouldn’t bear to buy such expensive ones myself. Take more pajamas. That cashmere shawl was a celebrity style, very long. When we bought it, Ethan laughed that I was small but insisted on acting cool, looking like a manta ray in it. Take it. His sound system was the brand I picked, supposedly excellent. Although I realized after getting it that it was just internet hype. But I still liked it. Pity I really couldn’t take that. What about the plants on the balcony I raised for two years? Change a place, spend another two years raising them? I sat by the messy suitcase and suddenly broke down. Footsteps outside the living room door. Sounds of footsteps and bags being placed on the table. “Autumn,” Ethan called from outside. “Shall I cook for you?” I didn’t answer. He muttered to himself in confusion. Probably glimpsed the check on the coffee table, his steps faltered. The bedroom door opened. “Who from my family came to see you…” Ethan’s face was ugly, fingering the thin paper. I turned to look at him, quickly wiping my face with my sleeve. “Okay, don’t cry, don’t cry.” He half-squatted, pulling me into his arms. “Who came? Tell me.” His fingertips were a bit cold, his collar chilly. I rubbed my face against his coat, burying it in his warm sweater. But his cashmere sweater also smelled of sandalwood. They are a family. Was I dragging him down, putting him in a difficult spot? Panting, I tried to pull away, but he pulled me back. Fingers threaded through my hair, undeniably pressing the back of my head against his chest. “Speak. Was it a man or woman? How old?” He lowered his head, nose against my forehead, breathing with annoyance. I shook my head. “I… let’s talk.” “Talk about what? Autumn, what do you want to talk about? Breaking up?” His gaze was severe. “When we got together, didn’t you promise not to give up easily?” I wanted to say we’re together, but I dared not. He said he thought clearly when he confessed. So he hoped I would consider the obstacles we would face in the future before answering him. I promised him I would be with him properly. But being young, I always thought obstacles were light. Only when facing them did I realize one sentence was enough to negate everything. I retreated. Would he retreat at some moment too? “Why don’t we… break up?” Meeting his gaze, my voice got smaller and smaller. “I’m afraid you, afraid you will regret it later, feel that I… am a burden…” “Enough!” Ethan interrupted me, swallowing hard several times. I spoke very little in high school. At first, classmates asked me questions. I didn’t speak, just wrote down the solution steps for them. Classmates thought I was pretentious. The grade called me “the silent, pretentious exam expert.” Later, teachers called on me to answer questions. After many times, they realized I had a speech impediment (stutter). So I got immunity from answering questions. No one made it difficult for me to speak. They just occasionally advised me to practice speaking more. Classes during the day, back to dorms at night, washing up time was tight. I couldn’t find time to practice, nor was I willing. Only after getting together with Ethan did I occasionally open my mouth. He always waited for me to finish. Even if describing one thing took ten minutes. He had never interrupted me like this. I shut my mouth tight. “Autumn,” he took a deep breath, cupping my face with both hands, “Do you still like me?” I looked at him and nodded. “Then don’t mention breaking up. Just consider it for me, practice speaking well. I’ll practice with you at home.” He used a bit of force. “Hear me?” I nodded again. He pulled me into his arms, tightening his embrace. “Good girl.” After that day, neither of us mentioned the two million dollar check. He hired a live-in maid to do housework and dragged me to chat all day. Sometimes I woke up late at night and heard him on the balcony on the phone. The tone on the other end probably wasn’t good. He was silent for a long time, responding in low tones. Usually the next day he would apologize to me, saying he had to attend high-level meetings and would be away for a few days. I saw the documents on his desk. Meeting materials, industry reports, financial statements. Confidentiality level unknown. I didn’t dare look closely. I only knew I was probably really dragging him down. When he wasn’t there, I practiced with my phone. Opened a voice chat livestream. Regardless of whether anyone was there, I forced myself to speak. Some viewers who entered the room were startled. University classmates bumped into me in the woods and thought my mental state wasn’t good. There was even a period where my weird livestream was screenshotted and discussed on forums for a while. I replied to comments one by one explaining the reason. Unexpectedly, netizens were very understanding and came specifically to chat with me. But it was so painful. The livestream got more popular. Some encouraged, some mocked. Some deliberately guided me to read bad comments. My speech was still stuttering. After accidentally reading vulgar words and homophones, the livestream room was banned again. I couldn’t take it anymore. Why torture myself like this, and drag Ethan down too? How can chronic symptoms be recovered by short-term training? I wanted to give up. But this time I didn’t have the courage to face Ethan. I left all miscellaneous items, only taking clothes I needed. At a hotel, I texted him to break up. That night he returned to the city. Insisted on talking face to face. I opened the door and saw a travel-worn Ethan. Eyes bloodshot, standing stiffly. Neither spoke. I couldn’t hold back tears. Crying and crying. At the end of crying, I spoke the most fluent sentence. “Ethan, the pressure is too much, I really can’t go on.” He pursed his lips tight and asked me. “Really can’t go on? Can’t we try again?” I said, “I’m so tired.” He put the gift bag on the floor, lowering his eyelids. “If it’s really that painful, then forget it.” I squatted on the floor, watching him turn his back. “Ethan!” He stopped, looked sideways. I realized then that his eyes were red too. I said, “Can we still be friends?” Will we meet again? He laughed lightly, “Mn. You can find me if you need anything.” But I understood. He meant he wouldn’t find me anymore. Later, indeed, no contact. It’s been over three years. If he knew my speech is very, very clear now… Wonder if he would be happy for me. Alcohol brings up old memories. Illusory emotions rush to the head, ignoring reality. I lay on the table, completely forgetting this was a group mid-year gala. Sitting opposite was my boss’s boss’s boss. Charles Chen frowned and patted me. “Autumn, Autumn, wake up… Ancestor, probably alcohol poisoning? Dammit, Ethan Sterling is gonna chop me.” I was shaken awake, face tilted from my bent arm. Exposing one eye to look at him. “Hm? Mr. Chen?” Charles breathed a sigh of relief. Handed a tissue, chin lifted. “Wipe your face, crying like that.” “Sorry, drank too much, got emotional. This wine is strong, can’t handle it.” I forced a smile, realizing belatedly. “Hey, Mr. Chen, weren’t we talking about a raise?” He waved his hand. “Raise, 50% raise. But tomorrow, no, day after tomorrow, you have to come with me to… um, a cross-company exchange meeting.” “Is my rank high enough to attend with you?” “Oh, just a simple meal.” “Oh. No can do, annual leave starts day after tomorrow.” “Triple overtime pay. It’s a rare networking opportunity, I’m taking you because you’re motivated.” Charles said with certainty. I didn’t suspect him, making an OK gesture. He let out a breath, smiling like a smug fox. “I’ll have the driver take you back, rest well. I’ll pick you up day after tomorrow.” 2 I slept until 2 PM thanks to the alcohol. Woke up and sat on the bed thinking for half an hour. I couldn’t remember exactly what I said at the gala last night. But I didn’t forget Charles Chen’s mischievous expression at the end. His reputation with women wasn’t good. Sending a female star to a cover shoot today. Dining with a newly debuted girl tomorrow. Although hadn’t heard of him involved with female employees. Still scalp-numbing. Before I could think of an excuse to refuse, a work message popped up. “Tomorrow’s dinner is a birthday celebration for a buddy of mine, you better bring a gift.” “Seize the opportunity, maybe someone casually gives an opportunity, and you can pay hundreds of thousands more in taxes.” “5:30 PM, Secretary Lee will pick you up.” Your family gathering, I shouldn’t go. I drank too much yesterday and blabbed, Mr. Chen please bear with me. There are people with better performance than me in the company, why not give them the chance? I deleted the refusal. Cowardly replied “Received.” After washing up, realized I forgot to ask key info. Is his buddy old or young, prefers western or traditional style, sexual orientation. Know nothing. Searched gifts for leaders on phone, homepage showed shops I bought from before. Scarf, belt, briefcase. Prices weren’t high, price range I couldn’t choose now. But giving those to Ethan, he was always happy. I was suddenly in a trance. Not long later is Ethan’s birthday too. He happened to be born around Lunar New Year. Every year on his birthday, he celebrated with me first, then rushed home to celebrate again. Came back the next day with bags big and small. Gifts from relatives and Sterling family partners. Some knew he was dating, so gifted popular new season luxury goods to please him. He picked through them, packing what I could use. Still had to be coy, wouldn’t give to me easily. Insisted I circle him for half a day, stuttering anxiously. Only then would he lift his chin, slowly handing over the suitcase. I sat on the floor opening gift boxes one by one. Ethan bent his leg leaning aside, drinking water slowly. “Anything you like?” I held up the most satisfactory one to show him. He recognized it, smiling. “Got it, talk projects with their family more next year.” I said, “You, you abuse power for personal gain.” My birthday is in autumn. Specific day, unclear. His gifts piled aside, as if I also had a very good birthday. In the years apart, I haven’t picked gifts for anyone. Nor received gifts from anyone. Screening items matching the other’s temperament, preference, and status from massive options consumes energy. I emboldened myself to contact Charles. “Mr. Chen, what does your friend prefer? I’ll prepare accordingly.” He said, “Anything is fine.” … Then anything is fine. I asked someone to buy a tea cake, just said expensive. Sending tea can’t be wrong. Shop owner said the tea cake grade I wanted wasn’t low, the only one in the store happened to be reserved. Other stock needed time to transfer. Luckily delivered before the dinner. I picked a semi-formal commuter suit, carrying the gift box out. 3 Charles and his secretary were already waiting downstairs. I got in the car, instinctively wanted to say hello, didn’t see anyone. Secretary Lee glanced at me. “Looking for Mr. Chen? We’re picking him up now.” “Oh, okay.” I paused, “Secretary Lee, do you accompany Mr. Chen to these dinners?” “Mr. Chen doesn’t drink much, no need for company. I wait in the car.” “Then do you know who Mr. Chen is meeting this time?” “Not clear on this one.” He slowed down, stopping by the roadside. Charles just walked out of a tea shop. The packaging bag in his hand looked very familiar. My back sweated, looking down at the gift box beside me. No way, such a coincidence? Charles opened the door, putting the stuff beside him casually. I peeked through the rearview mirror. Headache worsening. Identical gift, how to give? Eyes met. Charles reported a location, then asked me. “Autumn, brought the gift?” I turned back, slowly lifting the gift box for him to see. He almost choked laughing. “Young people drink this tea?” “But you bought it too.” “I’m taking this to give to his dad casually! You’re a bit tactless, only focused on picking expensive ones right?” “…Mr. Chen, men’s gifts, get too personal and it crosses the line.” Cufflinks, ties, belts, watches, all intimate items. Truly versatile are tobacco, alcohol, tea. Turning the intersection, the car stopped by a Chinese courtyard. I carried the gift following Charles. In the restaurant private room, several people were chatting. Turned to glimpse us, greeting and pulling chairs. I locked eyes with one person, both stunned for seconds. Zack, seeing me enter with Charles one after another, eyes wide. I nodded at him, heart skipped a beat. Running into a high school alum here? I wasn’t close with Zack. Met a few times, all because of Ethan. Noise all around. “Early, Prince Chen, not late this time?” “Hm? Brought a sister too?” “Changed taste? Remember the last one wasn’t this style.” “We gather once, only you bring a girl.” “Seriously, restrain your playing. If we had your scandals, our legs would be broken.” Charles scoffed. “Sick? Go treat it. This is my employee. Autumn, put your gift on that table.” Gifts on the table were open. Jade raw stones, jewelry, riding crops, watches. Two identical tea cakes placed there, incredibly abrupt. Teasing that just calmed down returned. “Why give the same thing?” “Wearing couple outfits, giving couple gifts?” “Zack, usually you talk the most, why silent now?” Zack looked indescribable, squeezed out words after a while. “This… I dare not say.” I sat in the corner smiling bitterly. This kind of occasion, can’t pass without a few teases. Footsteps approached steadily from the corridor. People around suddenly started touching things quickly. The second the door opened, confetti exploded. “Congrats Prince Sterling on getting another year older!” I applauded with everyone, suddenly sitting up straight. Who? Named Sterling? Confetti fell. The person at the door dusted confetti off his shoulder, half helpless half silent. “How many times you gonna play this trick?” Across years, voice no longer familiar. Shedding some clarity, adding steadiness. My back stiffened, face steaming. Ethan stood by the door hands in pockets, face slowly cooling. Silence for a moment. People at the table confused, looking at each other. “Prince Sterling come sit.” Waiter waited aside, waiting to take his coat. I lowered my head, actively avoiding gaze. Zack coughed a few times, smoothing things over. “Sit first Ethan, talk later.” After a while, he pulled a chair and sat. Drank a glass of warm water, eyelids lowered looking at Charles. “Not introducing?” Charles patted my chair back. “Autumn, my company’s most capable streamer, whatever she pushes goes viral. Brought her to meet people, you guys look after her if there’s business.” I stood up and smiled at the right time, bowing slightly. “Whoa, who’s worth you bringing personally for face?” “Should we call her sister-in-law?” Zack held back, “Stop asking, stop asking.” Charles cleared his throat. “Just have fun with me, don’t drag innocent people in, is this really my girlfriend?” “So she’s here.” Ethan didn’t lift his head, “Thought I’d be drinking Prince Chen’s wedding wine soon.” I stared at the cup in front of me, playing background. Two or three at the table responded. “Sorry girl, I’ll punish myself a cup.” “Charles Chen you too, not discussing business, why bring an employee?” “Right, haven’t toasted the birthday boy yet. Come come come drink one.” “Fortune as wide as the East Sea, life as long as the South Mountain ha.” “Stealing my lines?” Ethan refused no one, drinking toasts one by one. I listened to laughter, feeling unreal. Brain buzzing, dizziness like just waking up. His birthday, isn’t it in New Year? Everyone toasted, only I was silent. Charles kicked my chair leg lightly. I snapped back from silence, holding wine glass standing up. “I’m clumsy with words, wish President Sterling success in career, good health.” Ethan leaned back in the chair, raising hand for someone to pass the bottle. Drank half glass in front of him, refilled. He raised glass casually, toasting me, drinking it all. Charles half joking. “Cup after cup, haven’t seen your capacity this big usually, don’t drink too much.” He pressed his brow, tone indifferent. “Can talk if you can speak.” Atmosphere weird, someone threw the topic to me. “How many years has Miss Autumn done new media?” “Two years.” “Results so good in just two years.” That person slightly surprised, “Solid foundation?” I smiled, “What foundation, back then I had a speech impediment. Later graduated and did sales for a year, forcing speech fluent.” Zack stunned, “Sales with your degree?” People looked sideways. “Zack, you know her?” “Met a few times before.” Zack explained, looking at me, “Why not find an easier job?” I mocked myself. “Who wants an employee who can’t speak fluently?” Every year prestigious graduates are countless, companies can choose the best. Motivated, strong ability, energetic. Willing to learn, self-reflecting, good image and temperament. Introversion became a big flaw. Poor communication skills, couldn’t pass round one. Used to circle a safe zone with Ethan. Always felt he wouldn’t ignore me. With him, it would be fine. Since someone covers the bottom, why work hard? I escaped every day. After all, doing one thing might encounter many difficulties. But doing nothing, the only difficulty is making up your mind. Until after breakup I started facing my own issues. Can’t speak fluently, waiting to starve without finding work. Fall recruitment, spring recruitment, thesis, graduation destination confirmation, urging employment. I practiced retelling news broadcasts every day, gave up fall recruitment. Spring recruitment failed again. Soon finished thesis and graduated. Then became a member of the unemployed army. At a dead end, I found the gift Ethan gave me on breakup day. Wanted to sell it, exchange for some buffer living expenses. Opened to find a rare leather bag in the box. And a two million dollar check. The one his mom gave was torn long ago. In the gift box was a new one, signed in his name. He still left me a way out. I sat in the cramped rental, suddenly lost control of emotions. Everything ended. From the moment I decided to use this money, it was parting ways, never seeing again. With that money, I didn’t worry about livelihood. So found a sales job. Rejected in interview. I stopped HR, said I didn’t want base salary. Just give me a platform to open my mouth. Successfully stayed. Every morning and evening, company required employees to read work goals aloud, excited like chicken blood. Those looking not wild enough would be nitpicked for attitude. I let go, called out and scolded many times. After morning reading, back to desk making harassment calls. Hung up directly when lucky. Cursed parents when unlucky. Every time cursed by clients on the other side, I sincerely said thank you. Other side confused, I took opportunity to sell insurance. Then cursed idiot again, hung up. When lucky, could cover rent with sales. No one mocked my stuttering anymore. I switched jobs, started as assistant streamer. Promoted to streamer on face, stricter work requirements, often scolded by audience and supervisor. Secretly cried at first. But when I earned 50k a month for the first time, didn’t feel scolding anymore. I love work. I want money to fill the spent savings. Like making up two million makes me owe Ethan nothing. Work is busy. Rarely have time to think of him. I miss him very much. Ethan focused on food. I watched him secretly. Picking key nodes, stating past few years truthfully. Not far away, someone handed a business card. “My friend’s designer brand doing promotion recently. If Miss Autumn is interested, can contact her to discuss cooperation.” I quickly took the card. New jewelry brand in the industry. Invited promotion ambassadors usually famous rich wives and ladies. Normally I couldn’t take this private job. Charles raised a brow, “Take it if they flatter you, doesn’t count as private work.” I put palms together bowing, whispering. “Thank you boss.” Turning face, met Ethan’s gaze. He lowered eyes looking at phone, stood up leaving table. “I’ll make a call, you continue.” Birthday boy left, atmosphere relaxed immediately. I stopped participating, eating silently. Charles turned to me. “Open another table for you next door, call Secretary Lee to send you back after eating.” “No need, Mr. Chen eat slowly, I’ll go back myself.” I took bag to leave. Just out the door, uproar in the private room. Zack jumped up pouncing on Charles. Grabbing collar, exasperated. “Good one Charles Chen, I kindly told you stories, you brought the protagonist to stir shit right?” “Autumn can’t forget him, isn’t it good for them to meet? Maybe Ethan still likes her, just reunite.” “Does he look like he’s still interested?” Charles laughed loudly. “Zack you haven’t dated don’t bark. I say they are guaranteed to get back together, believe it?” Several unrecognizable voices mixed together. “No… what are you saying?” “What do you mean still like? That was Prince Sterling’s ex?” “Brain damage crashing ex bureau, bro stumbled onto guillotine. Whoever joked about her apologize quickly.” “I see no feelings left.” “That’s best.” Conversations faded, turning to toasting.

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Violet is the daughter of my father’s first love. After her parents died, my father took her in, homeless and alone. I vowed to make her life miserable. Until I realized my hypocritical father was looking at her with increasingly strange eyes every day. 1 Violet looks a lot like her mother. I’ve seen her mother’s photo, hidden in the lining of my dad’s wallet. When I was eight, my mom cheated with her personal trainer. After a huge fight with my dad, she pulled out his wallet, threw that photo in his face, and said: “Don’t judge me. You’ve always had someone else in your heart. We’re even.” Later, when they were physically fighting, I picked up the photo and glanced at it. Those fox-like eyes, brimming with a smile, seemed to come alive from the photo. The memory was so vivid that the moment I saw Violet, I knew whose daughter she was. It was an ordinary afternoon. I came home from school and saw Violet sitting properly on the sofa in our living room, wearing a white dress. I didn’t actually see her face at first, only Richard sitting eagerly opposite her, holding a bowl of washed strawberries and asking with a flattering smile: “Violet, do you like strawberries?” My parents had been divorced for three years by then. The reason, of course, had nothing to do with Violet’s mom. My mom ran off with her trainer, and Richard fooled around outside. Every woman wanted to be my stepmother. So before seeing Violet’s face, I thought she was just another mistress my dad brought home. I slammed the door shut with a dark face. Violet, sitting on the sofa, looked up at me. That was when I realized she was just a girl about my age. Twelve-year-old Violet’s eyes were exactly like her mother’s. A pointed chin and a pair of fox eyes that, although not fully matured, already showed hints of soul-hooking charm. Unlike her mother who was always smiling, she had a cold aura that kept people away. Richard looked at me awkwardly, stood up, and said: “Aria, this is… this is Violet. From now on, we are family. Get along well, okay?” My response was a cold sneer at Violet, then looking at Richard, I said rudely: “Are you addicted to picking up trash? Bringing any stray cat or dog home.” Richard’s face darkened, scolding me: “Watch your mouth!” I turned my gaze to Violet. She sat on the sofa with her head down, her jet-black hair falling like a waterfall covering half her face, her shoulders thin and frail. As if she hadn’t heard my insults at all. I scoffed and slammed the door as I left. 2 Violet’s father died early, and her mother committed suicide by charcoal burning, leaving her an orphan. My dad took her in. My dad is a businessman, a profiteer. The sentence he taught me most often was: “Aria, never suffer a loss, understand?” Taking in Violet out of kindness wasn’t because he was good-hearted, but because Violet’s mother was his first love. Every successful middle-aged man, no matter how polished by society, always keeps a clean spot in his heart for the “white moonlight” of his youth. A dead white moonlight is even more powerful because that moon will hang high in the sky forever, never setting. So he took care of his first love’s daughter even more attentively than his own. He spent a lot of effort transferring Violet to my school. My school is the top private school in the state, with strict requirements for transfer students, including entrance exams and past academic rankings. I graded her entrance exam because I was the favorite disciple of the “Demon Queen” of the honors class, like Zhou Zhiruo to Miejue Shitai. I saw Violet’s answers. She messed up even the simplest equations. Looking at the red crosses all over the paper and the miserable score of “35,” I thought, she really is like her mother, a brainless vase. However, she still got in smoothly. It’s not hard to imagine how much money Richard spent on her. The day before she transferred, Richard ordered me: “Aria, tomorrow is Violet’s first day. Take good care of her, understand?” I looked up at Violet standing silently behind him and sneered: “With your care, she’ll be fine. Is there anything money can’t solve?” After saying that, I left because I had a mental arithmetic competition with a classmate. 3 I rarely interacted with Violet. I didn’t like her, but there was no need to target her. To me, she was like a parasite in the house, an eyesore but insignificant. Richard asked me to take care of her. I sneered internally. Not bullying her was already my generosity. Not long after Violet settled in, Richard returned to his old ways, never home day or night. Socializing, business, mistresses. To him, daughters just need to be alive, not cared for. So for a long time, only Violet and I were home. Probably knowing I didn’t like her, Violet was very sensible. She was like a ghost in this house, appearing only when necessary. The balance was broken because I got a fever. That day I came back from a hike with friends. I probably didn’t dress warmly enough and caught a chill. My throat was itchy when I got back at night, and I couldn’t help coughing. Violet looked at me quietly then. Later, I went to my room to rest. In the middle of the night, I started running a fever. I knew I was feverish in my groggy sleep, but I thought I could tough it out. By the second half of the night, it was unbearable. I wanted to get out of bed to drink some hot water. As soon as I got out of bed, my legs went soft. Thud. I fell to the floor, hitting my head on the nightstand with a loud noise. I couldn’t get up for a long time. The soundproofing in the house is actually quite good, but in my daze, I heard knocking. Three polite knocks, followed by Violet’s cold inquiry: “Aria, are you okay?” I passed out. When I woke up, I was in my room. My hand was hooked up to an IV. Violet must have called a private doctor. She was sitting by my bed on the sofa, staring blankly at my IV bottle, lost in thought. I saw the curve of her long eyelashes from the side, curled and thick. Her profile was also very beautiful. I stared at her for a long time until she snapped back to reality and noticed my gaze. She paused, then explained softly: “You had a fever of 104 last night. I heard a fall and was worried, so I came in without your permission.” This was the first sentence she said to me after entering this house. I’m not ungrateful. If she hadn’t meddled, I’d either be a corpse or brain-damaged today. I said thank you with a hoarse voice. She looked at me and suddenly smiled fleetingly for some reason. I realized my voice sounded like a dying duck. Maybe thinking I didn’t like her in my room, she quickly and quietly left. We used to have a nanny, but she quit to take care of her grandson. I have a cold personality, mature for my age, and don’t like strangers walking in and out of the house. Building new relationships takes a lot of time, so I told Richard I didn’t need a nanny. He didn’t hire a new one for me. While on the IV, I thought I might need to hire an hourly worker just in case. But when I went out after the IV was done, I dismissed that idea. Violet had already gone to school. On the dining table was thick porridge she made and refreshing side dishes, along with a note she left: [I’ve already asked for leave for you. Drink the porridge while it’s hot, and take the medicine on the table on time.] I held that note, shifting my gaze from the porridge to the medicine beside it, pausing while pouring warm water into the glass. 4 My cold healed quickly. I’m not a child craving fatherly love, nor am I jealous that Richard spends much more time and energy caring for Violet than me. So I owed Violet a favor. We maintained a delicate balance of peace. I once wondered if Violet was trying to please me, but except for that night, she never tried to curry favor or brought up that incident. She remained cold and quiet, living in this house like a ghost. Until I found out she was being sexually harassed. She was in the same grade as me. Her class was full of rich kids who paid to get in. Naturally, they weren’t easy to get along with. Poor grades, poor character. So it was called the “Parasite Class.” I met Violet in the school’s volleyball equipment room. A boy had cornered her, hands wandering. I stood at the door watching. The boy’s hand was reaching for Violet’s face. She stood there coldly. If not for the disgust in her eyes and her tightly furrowed brows, I would have thought she was in a relationship. I threw the volleyball in my hand over and said: “Hey.” The boy was annoyed at the interruption. His furious face quickly dissipated when he turned and saw me, becoming intrigued. He said: “Aria? A top-tier student like you meddling in other people’s business?” He knew me. Well, there are plenty of people in school who know me but whom I don’t know. I ignored his playfulness, coldly extending my index finger: “I’ll count to three. Get lost.” “1, 2—” As soon as “2” dropped, the boy made a surrender gesture, backing away repeatedly: “Okay, okay, I’m going.” After he left, I got angry at Violet. The angrier I am, the calmer my tone. I looked at Violet, who was quietly watching me, and said calmly: “Are you a pig? Can’t refuse or fight back when harassed?” She stood there in her uniform. I had never seen anyone wear a uniform so beautifully. Like a scene from a K-drama I once glimpsed, where a character in a red sweater looked down from a balcony. I will always remember the stunning feeling of that glance. Violet didn’t look like that star, but the temperament was identical. She pointed to the ceiling at my question and said: “There’s a surveillance camera here. I was planning to take the footage to the Dean.” She paused, adding, “Fighting back… would cause trouble for you… for your family.” I didn’t speak, turned and left. 5 I only found out not long after that Violet was being bullied. She took the harassment video to the teacher. The boy’s parents were called. Losing face and having some money, he became angry and started targeting Violet. There were also girls in her class. The campus back then wasn’t like now, where pretty girls were called “queen.” Beauty was an original sin in school. Jealousy, suspicion, rumors, malicious scrutiny. All kinds of gazes and bad intentions fell on the beauty, wanting to drag her into the mud. So they could righteously say to others: “I told you she was a slut, and you didn’t believe me.” That day Violet came back an hour later than usual. I was making instant noodles—ever since Violet arrived, she did the cooking. Her cooking was excellent, making simple stir-fries look and taste amazing, which was one reason I tolerated her. Hearing the door open, I looked up from the steam of the noodles and saw Violet with hair messy as a bird’s nest. She stood at the door with that messy hair, a bright slap mark on her face, and bruises and blood clots on her exposed skin. From these injuries, one could imagine how badly she was beaten. I frowned slightly. Her expression remained cold. Her gaze fell on the noodle cup in my hand, not mentioning her injuries at all. Pausing, she spoke in her usual tone as if nothing happened: “Instant noodles aren’t healthy. I’ll make you some noodles.” I didn’t speak. I don’t know if I ever said this, but what I liked most was Violet’s hair. I put down the fork, looking her up and down. Luckily her clothes were intact. I looked at her with a very, very calm face. I even felt myself smile. I asked her calmly: “Who did it?” When I was very young, before my parents divorced, my mom took me to get manicures with her friends. She once complained about me with a look of disdain: “This girl, I don’t know who she takes after. So young but always holding her breath, silent, not like a kid at all…” “Like a wolf. Her territorial instinct is incredibly strong. Once I accidentally threw away one of her figures, she stared at me coldly without a word. Scared me to death…” I do have a strong territorial instinct. Things I mark as mine are in my protected zone. Whether I like or dislike the object, anyone else touching it is offending me. Violet lives in my house, so she is mine. And I hate being offended the most.

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I once co-starred in a BL drama with Caleb Vance. That year, we were both rookies, and thanks to that show, we became overnight sensations. With bright futures ahead of us, neither of us could break character. Even after filming wrapped, we were still drawn together by the emotions from the script. So, we had a brief, secret romance. The reason it was brief was that while the show was airing and at its peak popularity, Caleb said to me: “Perry, I’m out of character now.” When we met again, Caleb was a top-tier A-list celebrity. And I was a has-been who had quit the industry years ago, trying to make a comeback. 1 Meeting Caleb Vance again happened at a small gathering five years later. It was the birthday of Sue, the director who cast us in our first drama. I was invited to her birthday party. Five years had changed a lot. Sue had a few too many drinks and came over to sit in the corner with me. “Perry, if you hadn’t sent me ‘Happy Birthday’ and ‘Happy New Year’ texts every year, I would have thought something happened to you.” I smiled. “Thanks for caring, Sue. I’ve actually been doing okay.” Sue’s eyes revealed complex emotions. “It’s such a pity. If you had seized the opportunity back then…” Before she could finish, the door to the private room was pushed open, and a tall figure walked in. I looked up, and my gaze froze. The room was dim, but that face needed no introduction. Caleb Vance. The top A-list star. With hit dramas airing for five consecutive years, his value was self-evident. He was the darling of every major platform. At the same time, he was my co-star in my debut drama. And my ex. Even if only for a little over a month. Five years ago, both he and I were rookie actors who took on Director Sue’s project. It was our first work. From the table read to the wrap party, it took less than six months. At that time, our acting wasn’t natural enough, and the director wasn’t satisfied. So, we practiced privately, starting from reading lines to practicing kiss scenes. When the show aired, the intense chemistry the audience saw in the kiss scenes was something Caleb and I had practiced. However, after filming wrapped, the withdrawal set in. I couldn’t adapt to the abrupt end of intimacy and the return to our original positions. Many times, I dreamed of returning to the set, remembering Caleb’s face and the words he said. The way his peach blossom eyes looked at me. And his kisses. Some feelings sprouted uncontrollably off-camera and grew wildly. For the first time, I tasted the bitterness of love. The drama aired quickly, and Caleb and I met again as the leads. Preparing for promotion. At the cast dinner that night, we both drank. I deliberately kept my distance, burying the feelings I shouldn’t have had. That night, many crew members got drunk, so we booked rooms in the hotel next door. My room was next to Caleb’s. Walking side by side to our doors, I maintained my rationality and said goodbye to him. The door opened. I was about to walk in. Suddenly, a force came from behind, pushing me into the room. Immediately after, the person behind me stepped in and closed the door. Before I could react, I saw Caleb, who had been silent all night, pinning me against the door. Just like in the drama, he grabbed my waist and neck, lowering his voice to ask: “Perry, can I kiss you?” 2 He asked, but he didn’t intend to seek my permission. As soon as the words fell, the kiss surged forward. Shock flashed in my eyes, and I instinctively tried to push him away. But the man was built strong; I couldn’t push him away. And the muscle memory from the past few months made the kiss seem natural. I wrapped my arms around his neck. The withdrawal of the past month had been too hard to bear. This kiss seemed vengeful, igniting a fire while filling the emptiness in my chest. I was thrown onto the hotel bed by Caleb. He pressed down, and the kiss changed flavor. It was then I realized that I wasn’t the only one who hadn’t moved on. I am two years older than Caleb. That night, he whispered “Perry” in my ear many times. But without the camera, Caleb was much more reckless. Like a puppy, he bit people, leaving licking kisses on my body, telling me with a hoarse voice: “I wanted to do this to you on set.” My heart tightened, completely occupied by the aggression in his eyes. Caleb and I became official. That year, the BL genre exploded. For newcomers like Caleb and me, it was undoubtedly an overnight success. During the broadcast, he and I met almost every day for videos, livestreams, and various events. Our popularity skyrocketed at an alarming rate, albeit very flimsy. Scripts came one after another, but not all were good scripts or roles. For Caleb and me, focusing on promotion and fan service was important at the moment. The ambiguous marketing shown in front of the camera was nothing compared to us in private. Caleb wasn’t as gentle as he looked. Overwhelming fame is always intoxicating. At that time, I imagined a future with Caleb, but I didn’t have time to think further. As the drama neared its end, I clearly felt Caleb drifting away. He replied to my messages less frequently and stopped initiating conversations. Until the last joint event. After it ended, I wanted to talk to him. But Caleb spoke first. He said: “Perry, I’m out of character now.” I froze. The intimacy of that period turned into the phrase “out of character.” Caleb said: “It wouldn’t be good for either of us if this got out. Let’s just… pretend it never happened.” He detached quickly, took on the next script, and joined the new cast. I couldn’t pester him. First, I couldn’t bring myself to stalk him; second, I didn’t want to ruin him. At least he was honest and decisive. My withdrawal was even more painful. Unlike what Caleb envisioned, I didn’t continue in the entertainment industry. Too many things happened that year, and I quit. For the next five years, I didn’t appear again. Netizens went from initial regret to forgetting me. In contrast, Caleb’s popularity rose steadily. A crime drama two years ago catapulted him to top-tier status. Slowly, the work that gave us our start became a past he couldn’t mention. The face in my memory overlapped with the person in front of me. Caleb was right there. “Sue, Happy Birthday.” Sue smiled, the corners of her mouth rising in a nice arc. “Hey, Mr. Vance graced us with his presence to bless me. Of course I’m happy.” “Aren’t you still filming?” When Caleb walked over, he had already greeted everyone along the way. Now he chuckled lightly: “Just wrapped up, rushed over immediately.” Sue looked at him, then at me: “Caleb, remember him? This is Perry.” So Caleb’s gaze finally slowly fell on my face. Those peach blossom eyes that usually charmed everyone weren’t very warm right now. They held a depth I didn’t understand, and the smile on his face faded. Probably didn’t want to see me. “I remember,” his tone was flat. “Long time no see, Mr. Perry.” Mr. Perry. Before, he called me Perry, or bro. Before I could say anything, I heard him ask: “Is Mr. Perry planning a comeback?” 3 When Caleb asked this, I was actually a bit surprised. In my view, we parted ways five years ago. His current status isn’t something I can touch. To him, I’m just an irrelevant person. “Caleb, how did you know?” Sue smiled. “Perry is different from before. He’s funding himself to be a director. He’s handling the script and casting personally.” This was actually why I contacted Sue. Times have changed. The subjects she films now are very different from the past. Even if I wanted to audition for her, it wouldn’t be easy. I thought I had no connections in the circle, and having quit for years, I was basically a nobody. “This kid, if he didn’t want to find a few suitable actors, he probably wouldn’t have contacted me.” I laughed: “Sue, if you say that, I’ll be embarrassed to ask for your help in the future.” Sue has a hearty personality. She patted my shoulder: “Perry, the market is different now. I’m not sure if your money will go down the drain, but if there’s anything I can help with, just ask.” Caleb was pulled by her to sit down. Not long after, people in the private room came over one after another to toast him and Sue. To my surprise, Caleb drank every glass. I remember before, he didn’t really like drinking. When we socialized together, I always found ways to block drinks for him. Of course, now I don’t have that standing, nor that intention. The party ended. Sue was drunk and was helped away by her assistant. Others slowly dispersed too. I was about to call a car when a figure walked out from behind me, voice devoid of emotion: “Where do you live now? I’ll drive you back.” The familiar yet strange voice made me pause. “No need, Mr. Vance,” I looked back calmly at the man in front of me. “I won’t take up your time.” He was already wearing a mask, and the exposed eyes held no emotion. “It won’t take up time,” a black car slowly stopped by the road. Caleb said, “Besides, we can catch up.” Actually, I didn’t know what there was to catch up on between him and me. When he proposed breaking up back then, he was eager to clear ties with me. Thinking of this, I suddenly looked into his eyes with a flash of insight. In those eyes that once mesmerized me, the color was calm. “Mr. Vance, don’t worry. No one else will know about what happened before. Let’s just pretend it never happened,” I said. I intended to give him peace of mind. It’s been five years. I’m not that petty. He walked fast and climbed high in these five years, but he walked it step by step. I couldn’t do anything to ruin his career. For the sake of that initial palpitation, I also hope he does well. 4 Unexpectedly, after hearing my words, Caleb’s eyes grew colder. The phone showed the driver was over a hundred meters away, but the man beside me suddenly walked past me silently and got straight into the car. I couldn’t read his emotions. Probably relieved, so he couldn’t be bothered to pretend with me. My car arrived. That night, I rarely dreamed of Caleb again. 20-year-old Caleb. Young, at an age not yet savvy about the ways of the world. Not professionally trained, said to be scouted. Just started acting, knew nothing. I was only slightly better than him, guiding him bit by bit. My brief romance with him wasn’t actually that unforgettable. It just ended abruptly, making it hard to forget. The images in the dream were like a revolving lantern, without logic. The intense kiss scenes on set and the reckless kisses in private became nightmare-like existences. As the saying goes, one shouldn’t meet someone too amazing when young. Waking up, back to reality. I sat up holding my heavy head, washed up simply, packed my luggage, and went to Hollywood. Contacting Sue was actually almost six months ago. Later, my crew was assembled, suitable actors selected, and filming is currently underway. Yesterday was Sue’s birthday, and I specially went to congratulate her. Budget insufficient, all expenses must be calculated carefully. The emotional fluctuation brought by seeing Caleb again after five years quickly returned to calm after returning to the set. During my absence, the crew’s progress didn’t lag. This is still a BL story. My partner is a newcomer who debuted two years ago, named Leo. Good looks, lacking a real opportunity to shine. Coincidentally, he is also 20 years old. Just like Caleb back then. Sue introduced him to me. This young man didn’t really want to take this kind of role. He refused at first. I felt it was a pity, rare to find a suitable candidate. Later Sue persuaded him, and he agreed. I asked her how she persuaded him. The famous Director Sue laughed: “I said Caleb Vance became an instant hit after working with you. You bring luck to your partners. So he agreed.” “…” “Perry, you’re back?” Leo walked over grinning. This kid was shy when he first arrived, but now he gets along well with everyone on the crew. “How was shooting yesterday?” I asked him. “Sister Lulu made me shoot the monologue a dozen times. I’m really scared of her,” Leo put his arm around my shoulder like a buddy. “Perry is better.” I habitually comforted him: “Lulu just wants to capture the perfect shot. Cooperate with her more.” “Got it, bro. Do we need to rehearse tonight’s scene?” he suddenly asked. Tonight’s scene. I suddenly remembered, tonight we are shooting my first kiss scene with him. To be an actor, to film a love story, kiss scenes and bed scenes are inevitable. I chuckled: “Sure.” Although it’s a kiss scene, it’s all filmed in front of the camera. It doesn’t matter where we rehearse. I kissed Caleb in front of the camera for months back then; I’m long immune. When guiding Leo, I could even calmly suggest which angle he should kiss from, how he should breathe, and how his eyes and movements should tease. The young, energetic lad’s ears turned red. Like this kind of green young man, actually the most fun.

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Once we became close, my “work bestie” started showing a subtle malice toward me. I bought a new coat, and she blurted out that I looked like a wild boar, then immediately covered her mouth, claiming it was just a joke. Passing by the clearance section at the grocery store, she grabbed me and said, “This stuff isn’t fresh. Lily, stop being so cheap.” I hadn’t even planned to buy anything. Before I could retort, she was already giggling about something else. But overall, she treated me well. We had a good relationship. Yet, I was constantly drained. I asked my boyfriend for help. He smiled, “It’s fine, isn’t it? I feel like you’re being too sensitive.” “Babe, you look so cute when you’re worried! Give me a kiss!” I went to my mom. She frowned, “I told you people in the city are bad. If you can’t handle it, just come back home with me and your dad.” Why did my boyfriend and mom also have this subtle malice? Out of options, I met Senior Sister, a mentor figure. She smiled calmly, “All relationships are power dynamics.” She looked me up and down kindly, “And you radiate an aura of being easily bullied. Of course, they’ll inadvertently suppress you.” I panicked, “Really? What should I do?” Senior Sister smiled confidently, “There’s still hope. Do as I say…” 1 On Monday, I wore the black long down jacket that Sarah said made me look like a wild boar. After clocking in, I marched straight to the Finance Department. Seeing me enter, Sarah scanned me, frowning. “Wearing that again?” “Lily, don’t blame me for being straight, but don’t wear this next time. It really doesn’t look good.” Even though I was prepared, her words still stung. Last time I wore it was right when the temperature dropped. I had just bought this long black down jacket I’d been eyeing for a while. It cost nearly $300. After Sarah’s comment, I never wore it again. 【Don’t self-doubt, don’t avoid, don’t get angry. The best defense is offense!】 I tried to smile casually, reciting Script #2 proficiently. “What do you know, you fashion disaster? Black long down jackets are versatile for layering, and simple and warm otherwise.” From my first sentence, the corners of Sarah’s mouth remained slightly raised, but her eyes held no smile. Relief and anxiety surged in my heart simultaneously. I quickly grabbed the power bank on the table, trying to keep my tone light. “Borrowed my power bank, yet I have to come get it myself. Sarah, are you actually a dog?” People nearby laughed good-naturedly. Sarah’s fake smile was faltering. “Lily…” “Gotta go, gotta go, back to the grind. Bye!” Not giving her a chance to perform, I waved my hand as if escaping and rushed out the door. Clicking on the recording, I thought my counterattack was confident and flamboyant, but in reality, I lacked confidence, and my voice trembled. The only merit was that it was relatively smooth. Changing into my work clothes, I started working. Sarah and I belong to the same company. She’s an accountant in the Finance Department, and I’m an R&D specialist in the R&D Department. We have lunch together every day at noon. She just lost to me, so she will definitely try to regain ground at lunch. I waited nervously. 2 “Hi, Lily…” Sarah waved at me as if nothing happened. As soon as I approached, she and the Accounting Supervisor, Ms. Lee, huddled together laughing, but their teasing eyes frequently fell on me. They were talking about me! My steps stiffened involuntarily. When I got in front of them, they finally stopped laughing. Sarah poked Ms. Lee, trying to cover it up. “Anyway, can’t laugh anymore, or Lily will get angry.” Saying this, she glanced at me, as if I was about to explode. “Okay, okay, no laughing, no talking. Let’s eat!” Ms. Lee waved her hand and led the way to the cafeteria. Arm in arm, the two discussed enthusiastically what dishes to choose later. A nameless fire blocked my throat, leaving me speechless. I quickened my pace to catch up with them. I wanted to ask: What were you saying just now? What were you laughing at? Why label me as someone who gets angry easily? But the topic had already shifted. Dwelling on a small matter would make me seem petty. If I spoke up, I would jump into their trap of “Lily is very petty” and “Lily gets angry easily.” I followed them with a cold face to get food. Just as I picked up my soup, Sarah suddenly turned back to look at me seriously. “Lily, why the long face? You’re not angry, are you?” Before I could react, she apologized immediately. “Sorry, it’s my fault for making you unhappy.” Ms. Lee, two steps ahead, looked back, and colleagues behind also looked over curiously. A familiar irritability swept over me. Saying “it’s okay” meant swallowing the grievance and getting a reputation for having an attitude. I couldn’t argue with her about what happened just now either; it would show I cared and was calculating. In my dilemma, I suddenly remembered Senior Sister’s words. 【When you really have no moves, expose her malice directly! Ask her back!】 【There aren’t that many purely evil people in this world. Many people are also panicked inside when testing your boundaries.】 Taking a hidden breath, I replied calmly: “Why would I be angry? Did you do something terrible?” “Suddenly turning back to apologize to me, it’s baffling.” A second ago, the hidden triumph in Sarah’s eyes was blinding, but hearing my words, she froze. Her eyes widened slightly, leaving only sheer astonishment. Even her mouth opened slightly subconsciously. She was surprised by my counterattack! She was really nervous! All her ease was built on the premise of my obedient cooperation! My heart pounded with excitement. Sarah wasn’t invincible! Holding my tray, I walked past her and left. Meeting Ms. Lee’s gaze, I smiled naturally. “Sarah is so weird today. Laughing one minute, then suddenly apologizing to me.” “I’ll head back to the R&D side first. I have data to verify urgently.” 3 My heart was still thumping lightly from the victory just now. I focused on my food, eating seriously, occasionally joining the chat of colleagues next to me. I ignored the few joyless glances Sarah cast my way. When Senior Sister pointed out I was in a low-status position in relationships, I was terrified. My instinct was to escape. Senior Sister hit the nail on the head. “Every relationship is a game. You can’t escape it.” “Relationships, simply put, are of four types—mutually charging, tug-of-war, business partnership, or… purely toxic. Except for toxic relationships, others can be adjusted. Which one are you and Sarah?” I thought about it. Like a tug-of-war. I was always retreating, she was always advancing. “If one day you pull her over, do you still want to be good friends with her?” I froze, thought seriously, and shook my head. Senior Sister stroked her chin. “Then use her for practice. Social skills need practice!” “While practicing, think about what kind of relationships you have with your boyfriend and mom?” After eating enough, I messaged her to report the victory. She replied instantly: 【Well done! I said you were sharp and smart!】 I smiled shyly. The next message followed closely. 【People used to you giving in will take your retreat as their due. When you wake up and resist, they will be furious! Feel betrayed! Will counterattack fiercely! Are you ready?】 I put down my phone and took a deep breath. Come on, I’m not afraid. I will take back the territory I tacitly gave away, piece by piece! 4 Sarah didn’t contact me for days. Her daily Instagram grid posts were unshakable: boba tea, hot pot, escape rooms… laughing without a shadow. The protagonists were all our mutual friends. When I saw them, I silently liked them and scrolled past. Even when Ms. Lee quietly probed, I played dumb and glossed over it. Until Friday. A group photo smashed into my vision: In the center of the crowd, the beaming old accountant Mr. Wang held flowers. HR, Finance, Admin, Production… even a few key members of our R&D department who had received his care were surrounding him. The caption read: 【Farewell to a workplace mentor, grateful for 30 years of dedication! The company will always have your legend!】 My blood rushed to my head with a boom. This was Mr. Wang’s retirement farewell party! Mr. Wang was famous for being a nice guy. He was always cheerful when anyone went for reimbursement. When I joined, he even taught me the rules for pasting invoices. But I didn’t know about this farewell party. In our traditional chemical industrial enterprise with slow personnel turnover and intricate relationships, such informal social occasions are often key for information exchange and emotional lubrication. You can, of course, streamline your social life, but being excluded from a consistent circle sends a devastating signal: either your popularity is extremely poor, so poor that the organizers think you are unworthy of coming; or you are indifferent to people and have no respect for seniors. I couldn’t even ask “Why didn’t you invite me?” Questioning would only fall into Sarah’s trap and get me labeled with more hats. And Sarah in the photo stood beside Mr. Wang. Her smile was warm, tears glistening in her eyes. Exiting the photo, more photos from other angles refreshed. Everyone liked and commented on each other’s posts, especially queuing up under Mr. Wang’s post. I opened the chat box with Senior Sister for urgent help. Senior Sister’s reply was fast. 【Emotions can’t solve problems. Act immediately. Send a private message to Mr. Wang.】 I froze for a moment, then immediately followed up: 【Say Sarah played dirty tricks, and I didn’t know about the farewell party at all? Then wish Mr. Wang well?】 【No! Say you regret not being able to make it due to something coming up.】 Senior Sister’s sentences were analytical. 【Directly saying ‘colleague played dirty tricks’ sounds like a child tattling. It confirms you have bad popularity and are a victim. You must seize the initiative in your own hands immediately!】 I stared at those words, my fingers slightly cold. Thanking Senior Sister, I opened Mr. Wang’s WeChat. Typed and deleted, finally leaving only the simplest sentences: 【Mr. Wang, seeing the photos of your retirement today, I realized you are officially starting your retirement life. I deeply regret not being able to see you off in person. I still remember when I first joined…】 Checked three times. No typos, tone sincere and brisk. Added two playful emojis, took a deep breath, and clicked send. Putting the phone aside, I anxiously waited for Mr. Wang’s reply. Suddenly the phone vibrated twice. I clicked nervously. It was my boyfriend. 5 【Babe, the weather is nice this weekend. How about we go camping and barbecue in the mountains? You’ve been moody lately, time to recharge!】 I subconsciously refused: 【Can’t this weekend, I have an appointment with Senior Sister.】 Feeling too rigid, I explained: 【It’s about work, asking Senior Sister for advice~】 Boyfriend replied instantly: 【Okay okay okay, my babe is a busy person now!】 【But seriously, you look really cute when you frown and think seriously. When you’re done, I’ll reward you properly!】 A nameless fire surged instantly. After Senior Sister’s nurturing, I can already identify this kind of control: infantalizing and sexualizing the partner, with zero respect. Reasoning with him and demanding respect is useless. Everything is “cute”! Taking a deep breath, I replied: 【Not as petite and cute as you!】 【I’m going to get busy. Be good yourself, ‘little’ cutie.】 Blocked him right after sending. Wait until I finish my business and master the ultimate martial arts, then I’ll deal with you! Just then, Mr. Wang’s message came too. Decent and gentle, attached with two rose emojis. Chatted a few sentences, quit while I was ahead. 6 Spent the weekend in hot springs with Senior Sister, carefree. Returned to work fully recharged. Same work clothes, same colleagues, but the atmosphere felt a bit off. Little Liu couldn’t hold it in and leaned in close to me. “Lily, did you meet some awesome headhunter? Our unit has such good benefits, yet you’re jumping ship directly!” “But really, you didn’t even go to Mr. Wang’s farewell party. You should have at least pretended!” My heart skipped a beat. I asked hurriedly: “How did I not know I was jumping ship? Tell me, who did you hear it from?” Little Liu’s face changed, stammering for a long time. “Just… people in Production were saying it too.” I lost my temper instantly. The news had spread everywhere. Rumors are tricky. Making a big fuss to investigate might not find the source I want. Instead, I’d get a reputation for making a mountain out of a molehill. Leaders would think I lack perspective and look for trouble. The atmosphere in the following regular meeting was also bad. Just as it was my turn to report project progress, Chen from the next project spoke up sarcastically. “Let the boss go first. The Great Miss Zhou looks down on our small temple. The capitalists outside pay more!” The meeting room instantly fell silent. Everyone’s eyes fell on me in unison. I suppressed the fire in my heart, tone calm. “Work is work, don’t bring personal emotions. Recently I’ve been communicating with peers and Senior Sister, and participated in some online exchanges, causing misunderstandings. I can say clearly, even if you leave, I won’t. Engineer Zhang knows this best.” Engineer Zhang, sitting at the head, swept his gaze over Chen, then landed back on my face. Chen lowered his head. Engineer Zhang finally spoke. “Since when did the R&D department become a vegetable market for spreading rumors?” “Little Zhou, report!” My palms sweated slightly. I knew I passed Engineer Zhang’s test. I’ve been working on catalyst formula optimization, often consulting Engineer Zhang on ideas and new technologies, just haven’t had results yet. No one in R&D will gossip anymore. I pressed the clicker. Experimental data, comparison curves, optimization hypotheses… My voice was steady, even clearer than usual. Engineer Zhang nodded. “Very good. The idea is feasible. Continue.”

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I’m a coward. When I get scared, I lose control and wet myself. My short-tempered, straight roommate thought I was disgusting. So he shoved me into the dorm of his arch-nemesis, Caleb Thorne, a notorious germaphobe. He miscalculated. Caleb didn’t throw me out, nor did he lose sleep over my “filth.” Instead, he patiently washed me clean, bought me absorbent pads, and trimmed the hair covering my eyes. He dressed me up beautifully and took me to a high-society banquet. At the party, my former roommate stared, jaw dropped: “Where did you find this beauty? Damn, she’s breathtaking.” Caleb wrapped his arm around my waist and said coolly: “You personally delivered him to me. Don’t you recognize him?” “Also, he’s not my date. He’s my wife.” 1 I am the gloomy outcast everyone despises. Overgrown hair, ill-fitting clothes, head always lowered. And because I’m timid. A stray cat jumping out of a bush can scare me into incontinence. People keep a five-meter distance from me wherever I go. Three months into sharing a dorm, Jaxson Hayes, the rich young master, finally had enough of me. The fuse was lit when people started spreading rumors about him and me, causing his girlfriend to dump him. He stormed back into the room. The door slammed against the wall with a loud bang. My heart contracted in fear, and I wet my pants again. The embarrassing smell spread through the air. Jaxson saw the perfume on the desk he intended to give his girlfriend. With a backhand swing, he splashed the entire bottle on me. “Useless dog who can’t even hold his pee! Disgusting!” “Go back to where you came from! You deserve to be beaten to death!” I coughed in the cloud of strong perfume. My living expenses for a semester were only $300. I couldn’t afford increasingly expensive adult diapers. I could only drink very little water. I sewed a washable pad using layers of fabric. But the smell couldn’t be completely hidden. I disgusted myself with the smell on my body. Let alone Jaxson, who wasn’t related to me. But I couldn’t go back. Not to that nightmare of a home. I clutched the hem of Jaxson’s shirt with my skinny fingers. “Master Hayes, please, I’ll do anything for you, just don’t kick me out, my stepbrother will beat me to death…” When school started, my stepdad thought the $300 annual dorm fee was too expensive and wanted me to live at home. So the school didn’t save a bed for me. He was rarely home and didn’t know my stepbrother, Wayne, tortured me daily. Later, Jaxson accidentally saved me from Wayne. By then, I was tortured to within an inch of my life. Jaxson softened and let me stay in his single dorm room at school. I tried every way to please him, daring not to breathe too loud, afraid of angering him and being kicked out. But I failed to earn his favor in the end. I merely touched the hem of his shirt. That custom-made jacket went straight into the trash can. Jaxson shook me off in disgust: “How can I wear something touched by your dirty hands?” After saying this, his eyes suddenly lit up. “Caleb Thorne is such a clean freak, he must hate people like you.” “Go disgust him. As long as he’s unhappy, I’m happy. If I’m in a good mood, you can move back, deal?” “Really?” Jaxson was too lazy to talk nonsense with me. He kicked me hard in the lower back and smirked: “His dorm is opposite. Get lost. I can’t wait to see him lose his cool and curse like a maniac.” 2 Caleb Thorne was also a rich young master. Compared to the fiery and impulsive Jaxson, he appeared calm and distant. Their families were close, and they grew up together. But Caleb always managed to crush Jaxson with unbelievable achievements. Jaxson’s kick was heavy. My lower abdomen had been aching, and now my tailbone felt broken. It had only been three months without a beating; how did I get so delicate? I sneaked into Caleb’s dorm. No one was there. The air smelled of fresh lemon. Caleb was indeed a clean freak. The floor was spotless. Books on the shelf were uniformly covered in black jackets. All miscellaneous items were stored in black boxes. Dirty me became the only disharmony in this space. I didn’t forget my mission. Just as I was about to smear a black handprint on the wall, Caleb returned from the library. Handsome features, elegant posture, completely out of my league. Seeing a high-altitude flower defiled and pulled down from the altar must be very satisfying. But seeing the damage I caused, Caleb didn’t even frown. “What did Jaxson send you here for?” Caleb’s deep black eyes seemed to expose all sins. I retracted my hand in embarrassment, hiding the dirty wall behind my body, silent. Caleb guessed it. “He wants you to dirty my dorm?” He put down his backpack and tidied up the bookshelf I messed up: “What conditions did he offer you? I’ll double it.” “Money, or whatever, I can give you.” I bit the dead skin on my lips, confessing vaguely: “As long as I disgust you, he promised not to kick me out. You can’t double that.” No one would want to live in the same dorm as me. Jaxson agreed to keep me because he could live off-campus; he rarely attended classes anyway. But Caleb was different. His life was disciplined. Classroom, gym, cafeteria, library, dorm. Every day. From Jaxson’s dorm opposite, I could see him through the window every day. Leaving at 7:05 AM sharp, returning at 10:50 PM. He was also sharp. Every time I peeked at him, he accurately caught my voyeuristic gaze. He wouldn’t talk to me, just stare at me until my inferiority complex surged, scaring me into wetting my pants and fleeing. Caleb stopped what he was doing. “I can.” His voice was cool but clear. “You can move in and live with me. I won’t kick you out until you graduate.” “However, living here, you must follow my rules and listen to me.” 3 Caleb was indeed different from Jaxson. He actually drafted an agreement on the spot and had us both sign it. Caleb agreed to let me live in the dorm for four years. I promised never to help Jaxson cause trouble again. No matter how you look at it, I won. After signing, I was herded into the bathroom. Caleb had mysophobia and couldn’t stand dirty things in front of him. I took off my soaked pants. Caleb is so scary. Talking to him for a while made my lower body lose all sensation, like a paralyzed person. Jaxson didn’t throw my soap over. I dared not use the bottles with English labels on Caleb’s shelf. I could only squat on the ground, desperately scrubbing the pants that smelled of urine. I squatted for too long, so when I stood up, I got dizzy and blacked out. I fell hard, pulling down Caleb’s towel. The bottles on the rack smashed onto me, rolling on the floor with a clang. The place kicked by Jaxson hurt again, and I couldn’t get up. I could only let the free cold water hit me continuously. Hot water cost 5 cents a minute; I couldn’t bear to use it. Hearing my commotion, the bathroom door was indeed pushed open. I was exposed to Caleb’s sight in my most wretched state. I held my head, prepared to be cursed as a disgusting freak and beaten up. But Caleb’s face was calm. He just rolled up his sleeves, took off his watch and placed it outside, and walked barefoot into the wet shower. “You really don’t know how to shower.” He helped me up, looking calm as if he noticed nothing abnormal. The machine beeped. Caleb circled me with one arm and swiped his card to turn on the hot water with the other. “If you don’t know how, I’ll just teach you.” Steamy water poured down from the showerhead, trapping both Caleb and me in it. This was my first hot shower since high school. Hot water is good; it’s hot like tears. I can cry, and Caleb, with his back to me, won’t notice anything wrong. 4 Caleb was meticulous, famous for his seriousness. Even the organ I hated received detailed treatment. The water stopped. Caleb went out and came back with a large, soft bath towel, wrapping me up. I was thin, like a piece of paper. Caleb’s towel could wrap around me twice. He was soaked himself. After letting me out, he immediately closed the bathroom door to clean himself up. I looked around the floor. The clothes and blanket I brought were thrown away by Caleb. Although he touched me all over like washing pork… In the end, he still thought I was dirty. Not long after, Caleb walked out with a towel around his waist. Broad shoulders, narrow waist. The figure I always envied. Seeing me still wrapped in the towel, he paused. “Sorry.” In just a short while, his cold voice had become huskily sexy. He took out his clothes and signaled me to put them on. I only put on an oversized top that covered my butt. I didn’t want to dirty Caleb’s clean pants that smelled of lemon. Caleb obviously knew about my incontinence problem. He took a pack of adult diapers from a delivery bag hanging on the door handle. “If you can’t control it, use these. It isolates the smell, and you won’t catch a cold wearing wet pants in winter.” “When sleeping at night, you can use a pad. I haven’t bought one yet, so wear the diaper tonight.” Caleb supervised me putting on the pants. He was barely satisfied when I was fully dressed in his pajamas, which were a size too big for me. “Your clothes and blanket were dirty, I threw them away. I’ll buy new ones to compensate you.” Blanket thrown away… where do I sleep tonight? I dared not ask. My slightly long hair wet a large patch on the pajama shoulder. Seeing this, Caleb found a hairdryer to dry my hair. The warm wind and the fingers gently combing through my hair made me drowsy. I didn’t know when I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was bright outside. There was regular warm breathing by my neck, making my body stiffen unnaturally. Thinking of bad experiences. I couldn’t control myself biting my nails, twitching nervously. The person holding me woke up. Greeting me was not a slap, but a “Good morning.” I stiffened, daring not turn back or respond. The burning temperature left, and cool air poured into the blanket. Caleb went to the balcony to take a call. “Just woke up late, nothing happened, don’t worry.” Because of me, Caleb, who always had a disciplined life, was late for the first time. After hanging up, he caught me peeking at him again. “Since you’re awake, don’t pretend to sleep.” Rustling sounds of rummaging through plastic bags came from the desk. Caleb handed me another diaper. “You have to change this often, or it will smell and cause rashes.” “If you still don’t know how to clean yourself, I don’t mind helping you like last night.” This was a Caleb-style threat. 5 Caleb didn’t let me pay a cent. He said since his mysophobia required me to stay clean, he shouldn’t make me pay for it. I wore soft clothes I had never worn before. The bedding was no longer a thin sheet washed until it had holes. Caleb bought me the same four-piece set as his bed. The reason was the style must be unified. I shared body wash and shampoo with him. Because he couldn’t stand other smells in his space. For example, that day, I appeared in his dorm carrying the scent of Jaxson’s girlfriend’s perfume. He said he disliked that feeling very much. Living under someone’s roof, I remembered it with fear. Caleb emphasized again: “Also, since you’ve been turned by me, stay away from Jaxson.” “If I find out you contact him, I’ll deal with you.” This wasn’t strange. Because Caleb and Jaxson were deadly rivals. It’s normal to hate each other. So when I pushed the door open and saw Jaxson standing there, I lowered my head and hurried past him without a word. Jaxson scoffed, extended his long arm to grab my collar, and slammed me against the wall. He pressed the back of my head, whispering sinisterly in my ear: “I told you to disgust Caleb, what have you been doing? Forgot whose dog you are?” “What did he bribe you with, just these clothes?” Jaxson’s hand slid under my clothes, pressing against my waist. His hand was hot like charcoal. I didn’t know what he wanted to do, got goosebumps, and struggled: “Let go! Let go!” In the struggle, his hand accidentally pressed on the injury on my lower back. I trembled like I was electrocuted, screaming instantly from the sharp pain. Jaxson, like a hyena smelling blood, immediately pressed hard on that spot without letting go: “You really embarrass me. Do you know, whatever they say about me can’t compare to Caleb. Even my dog wags its tail for him!” “Take this off. Just clothes, I can buy them for you too!” I clutched the hem of my clothes tightly, silent. This meant refusal. After Mom remarried, no one bought me new clothes for many years. Although Caleb did it for his mysophobia and OCD. But I did receive several sets of beautiful, fitting new clothes. Jaxson didn’t give up, trying to strip me himself. He was much stronger than me, who was chronically underfed. All my resistance was like tickling him. The shirt was rolled up to my chest. I gave up resisting. Asked him calmly: “Didn’t Master Hayes think I couldn’t hold my pee and was disgusting?” “You touched me for so long, are you going to chop off your hands when you go back?”

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I died during childbirth and finally escaped the ABO world. But seven years later, the System forcibly recalled me. Waking up to see that familiar face, I cursed out loud: “System, are you crazy? You want me to conquer Julian Blackwood again?” Before the System could reply, the seven-year-old kid suddenly spoke: “Papa?” 1 I woke up in a dilapidated warehouse. Staring at the kid tied to a chair—who looked exactly like a miniature Julian Blackwood—I fell into silence. The last time I transmigrated into this world, my mission was to raise the villain, Julian, into an upstanding citizen. Julian was seven then. At an age where even dogs would detest him, I raised him like a puppy. Fortunately, Julian was obedient. He had zero villain potential. The System condemned me daily for ruining the villain. I dismissed it, saying the System just didn’t understand. There are many types of villains. Mine was just the sunny, cheerful kind. Later, Julian was reclaimed by his powerful family. He climbed from the bottom to the pinnacle of power. The day he took full control of the Blackwood empire, he said he wanted to repay me. That day, he tricked me into the bedroom. Only then did I realize I hadn’t raised a puppy, but a wolf cub. After that, our relationship became increasingly unhealthy. By the time I realized what was happening, I was pregnant with his child. I didn’t understand this world well. I always thought betas couldn’t get pregnant. But on the day of delivery, I died on the operating table due to complications. Thinking about repeating everything made my head ache. “System, are you mute? Speak! Why rewind the plot again!” The System didn’t respond, continuing to play dead. Just then, the sound of the door opening came from behind. 2 I turned towards the sound. Several burly men in ski masks appeared behind me. “Boss, this kid didn’t lie. His old man really sent a hundred million.” I froze, wondering where Julian got an “old man.” He only had a grandfather. If we’re talking seniority, I count as half a dad to him. But I definitely don’t have a hundred million. “Who is his dad?” I asked. “Julian Blackwood, the head of the Blackwood Group.” I looked back at the kid tied to the chair, the corner of my mouth twitching. The kid’s gaze landed on me. His eyes held a calmness and composure that didn’t belong to his age. So this is Julian’s cub… No wonder they look so alike. If my child had survived, he would probably be this big too, right? Seven years ago, in the operating room, the doctor asked Julian whether to save the adult or the child. Julian’s eyes were crimson, and without a hint of hesitation, he said: “Save the adult.” Unfortunately, in the end, neither survived. I stared numbly at the child. In the years I was gone, Julian lived his life well. I should be relieved. But for some reason, I felt a suffocating tightness in my chest. It wasn’t until a voice sounded in my ear again that I snapped back to reality. “Boss, do we kill the hostage?” “What?” I looked at the men in front of me in disbelief. “Julian is a madman, he’s not easy to deal with! If we release the kid, he definitely won’t let us go.” I was silent for a moment, then slowly spoke: “You guys take the money and leave first. I’ll handle the aftermath.” Their eyes lit up, calculation written all over their faces. I sneered internally, knowing they wouldn’t refuse. After everyone left. I picked up a knife and walked up to the kid. The kid clearly heard our conversation. Yet he showed no panic. He looked at me calmly, his eyes empty and cold, as if he disregarded life and death. That’s the state of someone who has lost the will to live. A kid under ten, actually doesn’t want to live? Bone-chilling cold instantly spread through my body. I used the knife to cut the ropes binding his hands and feet. Just then, the System’s voice rang in my head. [Congratulations Host! You saved Julian’s son! This is yours and Julian’s child! Hurry and take the child to meet Julian!] The System’s voice made my heart tremble violently. But soon, I regained my calm. Ignoring the System, I stared straight at the kid in front of me. “Hey, call your dad and tell him to pick you up.” [Host! You should personally send him back! That way you can see Julian!] I turned a deaf ear to the System, reaching out to take off my mask. When my vision cleared, I saw the kid staring at me in a daze. “Pa… Papa.” His voice trembled. I frowned impatiently. “Right, ask your dad to pick you up… never mind, I’ll take you away from here first.” [System: Host! Don’t you want a family reunion! Don’t you want to see Julian?] It’s not that I don’t want to see Julian, but that I can’t. “See him? And let you guys hurt him again?” [System: Ah… this time is different!] No matter how the System explained. I pretended not to hear. Back then, Julian didn’t turn dark according to the plot. The world line couldn’t advance. So the Systems used my death to make Julian turn dark. I raised Julian myself. I understand him. If I were to describe my relationship with Julian later on, it would be like chaining a mad dog. After getting together, I confessed to him that I wasn’t from this world. I told him the System promised that after successfully conquering him, I could choose to stay or leave. Those years of being together. I had long developed different feelings for Julian. So I had long dismissed the idea of leaving. But Julian began to become paranoid about gains and losses. Once in the middle of the night, I got up to drink water because I was thirsty. Julian thought I had disappeared. He searched for me like crazy. Later, to comfort him. I agreed to chain myself up at night when sleeping. But Julian still didn’t close his eyes all night, just staring at me. Such a paranoid person. I know what he will become after I leave. I cannot control my life and death. But at least I know how to avoid hurting him again. So I won’t go see him. I opened the car door and put the child inside. While buckling the seatbelt for the child, I asked him: “What’s your name?” “Lucien Blackwood.” I lowered my eyelids and let out a short, light laugh. “How cliché.” 3 Lucien sat in the passenger seat, silently observing me. When the car got on the main road, he spoke. “Uncle, take me here. I’ll have someone pick me up again.” Lucien said, changing the destination on the GPS. The destination wasn’t far, less than half an hour away. It was a villa in the suburbs. After parking, I hesitated. I was afraid of meeting Julian here. Lucien spoke at the right time: “My dad said he won’t be here for another hour. Uncle, can you stay with me for a while?” Lucien looked at me with puppy eyes, pleading. My heart softened, and I agreed. So I let Lucien hold my hand and walked into the villa. He led me to a room, saying in a childish voice as we walked: “Uncle looks a lot like someone I know.” Lucien’s voice was light, but it carried a chilling coldness. “Uncle has a generic face, that’s why.” Lucien glanced at me with a half-smile. “Then Uncle has a good-looking generic face, just like my dad.” I looked down at Lucien, feeling a bit melancholy. I couldn’t see the vitality a seven-year-old should have in him. I slowly squatted down and rubbed his head. “Is your dad… good to you?” Lucien’s pupils trembled slightly. He looked at me deeply, and after a long time, he revealed a weird smile. My hand froze in mid-air, my back going numb. Just then, the System’s voice suddenly rang out. [System: Host run! Run! Your cub is a little psycho.] “Who are you calling a psycho? You’re a psycho! Your whole family is psycho! How could my cub…” Before I could finish my retort. A crisp sound of a metal buckle came from my neck. I froze in place, looking at Lucien in confusion. I saw Lucien showing a very aggrieved look. He gently wrapped his arms around my neck and rested his head on my shoulder. “Uncle, stay and be my Daddy.” I pushed Lucien away and tugged at the metal collar on my neck. “What is this thing? Take it off me.” Lucien stood there expressionlessly, looking at me with a distant gaze. Suddenly, a current surged from the collar. The massive electric shock numbed my whole body. I collapsed to the ground, powerless. Lucien walked to my side and squatted down, reaching out to stroke my face gently. “If Dad sees someone impersonating Daddy again, he’ll kill you. This time I definitely won’t let Dad succeed. I’m protecting you.” Lucien said, revealing an innocent smile. “No one will find you here. You can just stay and be my Daddy!” With that, he stood up and left the room. I lay on the floor, taking a long time to calm down. “Dog System… come out and explain to me.” 4 “This is completely upside down! Where in the world does a son imprison his father? System! Speak!” The System spoke timidly: [System: Since you died, Julian’s darkness value has skyrocketed, affecting the balance of the entire world. We had no choice but to keep sending different conquerors to reduce his darkness value, but…] “But it didn’t work, right?” I pinched my temples irritably. Julian has been paranoid since childhood, and he won’t trust others easily. “Then what’s the deal with Lucien?” [System: After you died, Julian devoted himself to work and rarely cared about Lucien. Lucien has only seen you in photos. Because he was young, he has no memory of living with you, so he became the breakthrough point for the conquerors…] All the strength in my body seemed to be drained in an instant. I sat paralyzed on the ground. The System hesitated for a while before continuing: [System: Julian hated that he always recognized the wrong person. Several times, he executed conquerors who looked very much like you in front of him…] “Madman… how could he do that in front of a child.” I clenched my fists, nails digging deep into my palms, but I couldn’t feel the pain. [System: So Host, hurry up and reunite with them! Save this world!] “Sick! You guys killed me, and now you want my help.” The System played dead again and stopped talking. I lay dejectedly on the bed. Thinking maybe I should confess my identity to Lucien. Tell him, I am his biological father? I closed my eyes thinking, and immense exhaustion swept over me. I accidentally fell asleep. When I woke up at night, in the dim room, a furry head was lying by my bed. Lucien was looking at me with a serious face. Funnily enough, contrasting with his serious expression was the pink plush bunny pajamas he was wearing. There were two bunny ears on the hood of the pajamas. I remembered when Julian was still young. One year for his birthday, I gave him a pink bunny plushie as tall as him. Whether Julian liked that gift or not, I wasn’t too sure. Anyway, I liked it. Later when sleeping, there was a bunny between Julian and me. I gradually liked sleeping holding that bunny. But soon, the bunny disappeared. But Julian got a set of pink bunny pajamas. Every day when sleeping, he insisted on wearing these pajamas to squeeze into the same bed with me. I groggily reached out and tugged at Lucien’s bunny ears. “Did your dad buy you these clothes?” “I bought them myself.” Lucien’s voice paused, then continued: “Dad likes sleeping holding a bunny plushie, but he has never hugged me…” I stopped moving and scrutinized Lucien’s face. The child’s round eyes were misty at some point. I sighed helplessly, pulled him into the blanket, and wrapped my arms around him. Lucien’s eyes flashed with astonishment, but he still obediently let me handle him. “Lucien Blackwood, do you know my name?” Lucien lifted his head from my arms. “My name is Caleb.” Lucien’s eyes gradually dimmed. I couldn’t help but have some doubts in my heart. Julian probably never told him my name. “I am your other dad.” Lucien looked at me calmly. There was no surprise or joy as I expected. He rested his head on my chest, his soft voice carrying a hint of coldness. “Uncle, you are the lousiest of all the conquerors.” “You must, must not be found by Dad, or you’ll die miserably…” It’s over. Lucien completely doesn’t believe me. I sat up abruptly from the bed, pinching Lucien’s face. “Believe me for once! I really am your dad! You are my biological son!” Lucien looked at me with a cold face. Then nodded perfunctorily: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” “No! You…” Just then, the deafening roar of a helicopter came from outside the window. Lucien’s face instantly turned pale. He panicked: “Oh no, Dad found us. If he finds you, he’ll definitely kill you!” As soon as Lucien finished speaking, Julian’s furious voice came from the hallway: “Lucien Blackwood, get out here!”

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I transmigrated into the role of a gold-digging, roommate-seducing villain in a romance novel. The System gave me a mission: Seduce the male lead, Caleb Vance. Me: “…I don’t know how.” The System was exasperated: [Be a little sluttier! What do you mean you don’t know how!] [If you don’t know how, just learn! See those white lace stockings? Put them on!] Me: “…” Grudgingly, I put on the lace stockings that dug into my thighs. Following the System’s instructions, I snapped a photo and sent it. “Daddy, do you like it?~” The reply came quickly. “?” “Disgusting. Get lost.” Me: “…” 1 Inside the dim bed canopy. I took a deep breath, lifted my leg, and slowly pulled the edge of the white stocking up. While putting it on, I was terrified. “It’s so thin… System, will I rip it?” The System sneered: [If you rip it, you’re done for. You have no money left, so you’ll have to seduce the male lead in torn stockings!] Me: … I swallowed my pride and carefully pulled the stockings up, then let out a long sigh of relief. Suddenly, someone slammed their fist onto my bed frame. “Hey, loser! What are you doing in there?” “This crappy bed is shaking. Are you crying in there?” I had just put on the stockings and was so scared I quickly covered my legs with the blanket. I panicked: “System, what’s happening?” The System replied nonchalantly: [Oh, nothing. You’re just getting bullied.] Me: “Ah, just getting bullied…” Me: “…Huh?!” My vision went dark. The bed curtain was rudely yanked open. I desperately squeezed myself into the corner, curled up into a ball, and whispered a retort: “You… you can’t bully your classmates… it’s not right…” The guys seemed stunned for a moment. Then they burst into laughter. “It’s not right~” “The little loser dares to talk back now?” A tanned hand with bulging veins reached rudely into the bed curtain. I pressed down on the blanket desperately, panicking: “System, think of something!” System: [Don’t rush.] Me: “…” I gave up struggling in despair. Just as the blanket was about to be lifted amidst their laughter, a cold voice spoke up. “That’s enough.” “That’s about it. Don’t bully your classmates.” System: [Hehe, your hubby is here.] 2 The System was smug: [See, told you not to rush. Gold-medal System, everything is under control!] Me: “Okay, okay, you’re the best.” After perfunctorily praising the System, I leaned out to pull the bed curtain back. My gaze abruptly met the man standing by the lower bunk. He looked like he had just come back from a workout, wearing only a black T-shirt, sweat on his forehead. He lifted his eyelids, gave me a cold look, turned around, grabbed his toiletries, and went into the bathroom. I finally let out a delayed gasp. “Damn… so handsome!” System: [Handsome, right? He’s the man of your dreams.] Me: “…Huh???” The delayed plot finally injected into my brain. After seeing the plot clearly, I went blind. I lay peacefully on the bed and closed my eyes. This is a BL novel. I am the gold-digging, green-tea, villainous roommate who seduces the male lead and dies without a burial place. The original host was vain and manipulative, wearing fake luxury brands to show off, only to find out everyone else was wearing logo-less old money brands worth seventy or eighty times more than his knockoffs. From then on, the original host’s life of being bullied began. The male lead was his roommate and helped him out of convenience. In those dark days, he was the original host’s only light. Therefore, seeing the male lead get close to the protagonist (bottom), the original host became jealous and bitter, lied about being the male lead’s boyfriend, hurt the protagonist deeply, and was finally thrown into the ocean by the male lead to feed the fish. After reading the plot, I broke down: “And you call this my hubby? “YOUR hubby!” System: [Oh my, just a joke. Look how anxious you are.] Me: “…” At this moment, the sound of water splashing came from the bathroom. The System rubbed its hands together: [Quick! Seduce early, feed the fish early. Send him your stocking pics!] I lifted the blanket with hatred. My eyes went black again. The original host had almost no living expenses left. The stockings he bought were useless. They looked nice, but were thin as hell. Just struggling just now tore them. The top of the stockings dug tightly into my thigh flesh, but a little further down, several small holes appeared. The System urged me non-stop. I closed my eyes, crossed my legs, struck a pose, and sent it. Along with a few words. “Daddy, do you like it?~” Although I was using a burner account the System applied for me. It was still shameful. Just as I was kneeling on the bed banging my head against the pillow, the sound in the bathroom stopped. Soon, the phone displayed the reply. “?” “Disgusting. Get lost.” Me: “…” 3 The System was delighted: [Great, hated immediately.] [Keep up the good work, dear. Once the protagonist appears, you can go feed the fish.] Me: “…Haha.” After sending the photo, I lay on the bed playing with my phone, dead inside. I heard chatting from the lower bunk. It was a four-person dorm, but now only three people lived there. Me, the male lead, and a roommate who was busy with a startup and rarely came back. Now that roommate rarely came back, laughing at the male lead. “Caleb, why the long face?” The male lead’s voice was cold. “Saw something disgusting.” Me: “…………” I shrank my neck guiltily and kicked the removed stockings deeper under the covers. The roommate laughed. “What is it? Let me see.” Caleb refused calmly: “Nothing.” The roommate didn’t intend to probe further. While washing up, he asked: “A friend asked me to ask you, what kind of person do you like?” “Cool and aloof? Cute? Innocent?” Caleb: “Why ask this?” Roommate: “People are curious! You’ve been single for so long, people want to know which direction to work towards.” Caleb was silent for a long time, then said faintly: “Nothing I like. If I had to say… wearing a thigh garter?” The roommate burst out laughing: “Thigh garter? No way, Caleb, you’re that repressed!” “That position is very ambiguous, like you can grab it with one hand.” The roommate just laughed and didn’t notice. While he was speaking, Caleb’s eyes darkened slightly. His Adam’s apple bobbed gently. 4 The System was very excited. [Dear, let’s order a thigh garter right now!] Me: “? No, he likes this, how can I buy it? I should wear something he dislikes.” The System argued plausibly: [It’s precisely because he likes this that you should buy it. Seeing something he likes on your leg, the male lead will be disgusted to death.] Me: “…” Felt like nonsense, but also kind of made sense. Persuaded by the System’s twisted logic, I ordered the thigh garter. Before the order arrived, my life was a straight line between two points every day. Class, dorm. Class, dorm. Occasionally running into Caleb, I ran away shrinking my neck like a thief. Caleb didn’t care. He occasionally glanced at me, eyes deep, unknown thoughts. Life was originally plain like this. Until I was blocked in the classroom again. A few guys laughed like villains: “Little loser, why so well-behaved these days?” “Can’t even afford knockoffs?” “Would’ve been fine if you were this well-behaved earlier. Why did you have to provoke our AAA King!” I was cornered. Trembling. The original host was very vain before. Such vain people always need a reference to show off their excellence. At that time, the original host targeted King. He looked plain, like he’d never heard of any brands. Result: he messed with the wrong person. This King’s family was not only rich, but extremely rich. His family was in construction, rumored to have thousands of excavators at home. After offending King, the original host was bullied by him and his many lackeys every day. Logically speaking, this was karma, a satisfying turn of events. But now I transmigrated into the original host, a good thing turned bad. I tremblingly squeezed out a smile. “S-sorry… “I was blind before. You guys are magnanimous, let me go…” The leading King looked fierce. “Now you know to beg for mercy? You didn’t have this face when you mocked me before!” “I’m acting for justice, just to teach guys like you who look down on others a lesson!” I wanted to cry but had no tears. If it could snow in June, it would be because of the tears I shed today. “I was really wrong… How can you forgive me?” I begged humbly. King looked at me for a while, suddenly reached out, and touched my face. Me: “?” King muttered a few words in a low voice. “Just haven’t seen you for two days, how come you seem prettier?” Then he waved his hand: “How about this, be my lover, and I’ll forgive what you did before.” The guys blocking me were dumbfounded. “King?” “Bro, don’t be blinded by this little guy!” The System was also dumbfounded. [What’s the situation? Where’s the damn cannon fodder?] [Host, refuse quickly! You belong to the male lead…] The System stopped halfway. But even if the System didn’t tell me to refuse, I would have. After all, I don’t like men. Agreeing to transmigrate into this BL world was also because I was just a small cannon fodder who would go offline in a few chapters. I refused tremblingly. “Hahaha King you’re so humorous… but forget it, I don’t have that intention…” After being rejected, King’s face turned fierce. “Is that so? Thought it through? “Refusing a toast only to drink a forfeit. Then let me beat you up once, and I’ll forgive you!” Me: “…Fine!” I closed my eyes like a martyr, waiting for the fist to fall on me. But there was no movement for a long time. Afraid I’d get hit as soon as I opened my eyes, I squinted, carefully observing the situation in front of me. Then opened my eyes in surprise. Within my line of sight, a cold white hand with bulging veins steadily intercepted the fist swung in mid-air. Caleb appeared here unbeknownst to me, standing sideways in front of me, looking very cold. “Didn’t I say, that’s enough?” He looked indifferently at the people in front of him, curling his lips. “Do you guys… not understand human language?” King’s face twisted in surprise and pain. In the silence. The System chuckled. [Hehe, your hubby is here again.] 5 “Sorry! Sorry Caleb!” “We didn’t know this was your guy!” “We’re leaving now! Leaving now!” The guys lost their arrogance. Running away scrambling. I leaned against the wall with lingering fear, exhaling slowly after a long time. …Scared me to death! I thought I was really going to get beaten up. Thank god I didn’t. “Are you okay?” Caleb lowered his eyes and asked faintly, “Can you go back to the dorm?” “Ah, yes.” I straightened up and gave the male lead a sincere smile, “Thanks just now. Without you, I’d be miserable.” Caleb’s pupils stared straight at me for a moment. Until my smile stiffened. Then he withdrew. “It’s nothing, just convenient.” Seemingly unintentionally mentioned, “You seem… to have gotten paler recently.” Me: “Hm? No?” The System chimed in timely: [Dear, the current body is your original body. I used a little trick, so in others’ eyes you seem to have become better looking recently. You can explain it~] Listening to the System’s explanation, I laughed dryly and explained: “Maybe, maybe I haven’t gone out much recently, got pale from staying inside…” Caleb didn’t comment. On the way back to the dorm, my package arrived. After asking if he minded, I took a detour to pick up the package. Caleb asked casually: “What did you buy?” Me: “Don’t know, probably food.” Buying a lot of stuff recently, I forgot about being forced by the System to buy a thigh garter. So seeing the small package boldly written “Thigh Garter Lolita Punk Gothic Sexy Thigh Ring Elastic Band PU Material…” and so on, a long string of words. My cold sweat poured down instantly. Caleb: “What is it?” I instantly stuffed the package into my bag. “No no no no nothing!” System: [What are you shy about? You’ll have to show him later anyway.] I was annoyed: “…That’s also very shy! I’m a man, wearing this kind of thing for the male lead to see, it’s shameful no matter how you think about it!” The System sneered twice and stopped talking. I returned to the dorm with a red face and heavy heart. The first thing I did was climb onto the bed, take out the thigh garter with trembling fingers, and measure it on my leg. “Is it a bit big…” System: [It’s adjustable. Adjust it, make it a bit tight so it squeezes the flesh, that’s best.] I did as told, complaining: “Although you’re just a system, you know quite a lot.” System: [Hehe, actually I know more~ Does host want to know?] I ignored it. After fearfully putting on the thigh garter, I slightly straightened my leg, but still bent a little, and sent it to Caleb. [Image] [Image] “Daddy Daddy, do you like the photos this time~”

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On the day my husband, Dr. Caleb Sterling, died of AIDS, everyone was shocked. He was a leading expert in the field, with an unparalleled understanding of the disease. It seemed impossible for him to die this way. But only I knew the truth. Caleb had injected himself with the blood of his “white moonlight,” his first love, who had contracted the virus. On his deathbed, Caleb held her, heartbroken: “I researched AIDS for you. Since I can’t save you now, I’ll die with you!” My in-laws tried to comfort me, but I just smiled softly. After all, as a top medical expert, my husband left me a massive fortune. So by day, I scouted boy toys; by night, I played with them. Life was wild and free. I even died, eventually, on the eight-pack abs of a young lover. So when I was reborn, and my parents asked me to choose a husband, I didn’t hesitate to pick Caleb again. I didn’t expect the plot to change this time. 1 “Chloe, come take a look.” As soon as I walked through the door, my parents called me over. I knew they were trying to set me up on blind dates again. I walked over immediately, grabbed Caleb Sterling’s file, and said firmly, “Him. I choose him.” My parents were shocked. “Haven’t you always resisted marriage? Why so decisive this time?” Of course I was decisive. My parents had no idea what a good life I lived in my previous life. In my last life, on this very day, my parents gave me two choices and forced me to pick one to marry. I looked reluctantly for a while and finally chose Caleb. Caleb was a doctor. Later, he devoted himself to researching AIDS treatments, becoming a prestigious expert in the field and making a lot of money. Because of this, I lived a wealthy life. Although Caleb was cold to me, he was generous and never controlled my spending. Life went on like this until Caleb turned forty. Suddenly, I received notice of his death. The doctor told me Caleb died of AIDS. Everyone was shocked. How could Caleb, an expert in this field, be so careless as to get infected? But I knew. I saw him with my own eyes, holding his first love, Lily, heartbroken: “I researched AIDS for you. Since I can’t save you now, I’ll die with you!” Everyone told me to restrain my grief. My in-laws comforted me. I just smiled softly. Although Caleb was dead, as a top medical expert, he left me a huge inheritance. After that, I used the money Caleb left me to live it up. By day, I scouted boy toys; by night, I played with them. Life was wild and free. I even died, eventually, on the eight-pack abs of a young lover. Thinking back to my last life, the memories were endless! So, reborn, I still chose Caleb without hesitation. I can live happily for another lifetime! 2 The next day, arranged by the matchmaker, I met Caleb. Young Caleb was truly handsome, which was one of the reasons I chose him in my last life. Caleb was still cold to me. He just glanced at me and said, “If you think I’m okay, we can get the marriage license.” In my last life, I rolled my eyes so hard when I heard this. If my parents hadn’t told me how good Caleb was and how promising his future was, I wouldn’t have agreed. He felt like he was just marrying me to deal with his parents. Facts proved he was indeed marrying me to deal with his family. But this life was different. I nodded like a bobblehead: “Okay, okay, we can get the license anytime.” Caleb’s attitude was cold. He looked at me with slight surprise and said deeply, “However, I have to say some things upfront. I’m very busy. After we get married, I won’t have time to accompany you.” “Also, I’m not very keen on that aspect. I must make this clear to you beforehand. If you mind, then…” “I don’t mind! I don’t mind at all!” I said with a smile. With so many men to play with in the future, I wouldn’t be obsessed with doing that with Caleb. In my last life, we did do it, and it was Caleb who initiated it. No matter how deeply in love he was with someone else, he was still a man. It was normal for a man to have physical needs. But doing it with him wasn’t great. He just pumped away without talking, completely devoid of romance. Maybe I was too easygoing, because Caleb looked at me with even more confusion. I stopped smiling and explained: “Actually, I’m like you. I just want to find someone to marry to deal with my family. The reason I chose you is because you look mature and steady, not like a troublemaker.” “After meeting you, you are exactly as you appear in the photos.” “You can rest assured. Since I married you, even if there is no love between us, I will be responsible for our family and won’t do anything untoward.” Caleb’s expression relaxed slightly. He nodded: “I think so too. In that case, let’s settle the marriage.” “Okay!” My parents were thrilled when they found out I settled on Caleb. I was happy too. Both families discussed the wedding date. It was obvious that both sets of parents were anxious. The wedding was set for next month, but they said the day after tomorrow was a lucky day and asked me and Caleb to get the marriage license first. In my last life, Caleb and I had a decent wedding. Even though I didn’t like him at that time, I had natural expectations for a wedding, so I put a lot of effort into it. I discussed every detail with the wedding planner, what flowers to use, the design of the invitations… But from beginning to end, Caleb never showed up. I tentatively asked him: “Do you have any ideas about the wedding? How about we go to the wedding planner together tomorrow? What do you think?” Caleb’s attitude was distant and cold: “As long as you like it. I don’t have any ideas. And I’m very busy, I don’t have time.” Caleb only appeared on the wedding day. But as soon as the ceremony was over, he went back to the hospital, leaving me alone at the reception to greet the guests. At that moment, I actually regretted it. Even if two people who don’t love each other get married, they should at least act like a couple. But Caleb didn’t even pretend. He really didn’t care. That night, Caleb stayed in his lab and didn’t come home all night. When he came back the next day to wash up and change clothes, he handed me two cards. “This is my salary card, and this card has my savings. Buy whatever you want, you don’t need to ask me.” I checked the balance of these two cards. The salary card had over fifty thousand, and the savings card had much more. Later I learned that Caleb not only owned his own lab but also made investments and earned a lot of money. From then on, I lived the life of a wealthy wife. Choosing Caleb in this life was also to live that life again. As for the wedding… Who cares? “No need for a wedding, it’s too much trouble. Caleb’s work must be very busy. We can just register,” I said understandingly. Caleb turned his head and looked at me silently, the corners of his mouth curving into an imperceptible arc, and nodded. 3 Coming out of City Hall, Caleb and I became a legal couple. He handed me two bank cards and said the same words as in my previous life. I took them with excitement and smiled at him: “Thank you. Then go to work, I won’t disturb you.” Caleb didn’t turn around and leave like in my previous life. Instead, he looked at me, and after a while, nodded. “Okay, I’m leaving. I won’t drop you off.” He opened the car door, as if suddenly thinking of something, and turned to ask me: “Do you have a driver’s license?” I nodded: “Yes, why?” I don’t like cars and don’t like driving. But after the college entrance exam, my parents forced me to get a license, saying I might not use it, but I couldn’t be without it. Caleb said: “You can choose a car you like. It will be convenient for you to go anywhere in the future.” I was slightly surprised. In my last life, whenever Caleb went out for business or to meet friends, he would answer the phone and drive away, never thinking about how I would get around. In this life, he actually offered to buy me a car. Might as well take it. “Okay, thank you.” Caleb opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something else, but eventually got in the car. I watched him leave and immediately called my friend to choose a car. My friend envied me to death when she heard what I said. “OMG, when will I meet such a peerless good man? No need to deal with him, no need to serve him, spend money freely, and be free as if unmarried, just with someone supporting you. This is simply my dream life!” She grabbed my arm and shook it vigorously: “Does your husband have any brothers? Or friends? Birds of a feather flock together, his brothers and friends should be his type too, right?” “No,” I said with certainty. I knew everything about Caleb in my last life. My friend pouted regretfully: “Forget it, not everyone is as lucky as you. I can only envy you.” I just smiled and didn’t speak. Actually, in the beginning of my previous life, I wasn’t this lucky, because… I fell in love with Caleb. Even though I initially just wanted to deal with my parents, after spending a long time together, I involuntarily discovered Caleb’s strengths. 4 Caleb’s biggest strength was his authority in his industry. Being a sapiosexual combined with admiration for strength made me start to worship Caleb, especially seeing him give reports on TV or doing experiments in his lab… Really handsome. Plus, he was generous to me. Knowing I didn’t like housework, he hired a maid directly. Gradually, I really fell for him. So when Caleb proposed to consummate the marriage, I agreed without hesitation. Even though it didn’t feel great, I thought it was a good start. At least Caleb had desire for me. Later, I got pregnant. I said to Caleb: “Can you spend more time at home with me during this period?” Caleb’s eyes were still cold and distant: “The maid will take care of you at home, or you can go back to your parents’ house. I’m really too busy to get away.” The child wasn’t saved in the end. When I was four months pregnant, I was pushed down the escalator by a brat in the mall, and the child was gone on the spot. My parents and Caleb’s parents called Caleb several times, even went to the hospital to find him, but Caleb didn’t appear in my hospital room until the next afternoon. I cried and questioned him: “Why did you just come? Do you know our child is gone? The doctor said I might never have children again!” Caleb stood by the bed, his expression unchanged. What was a huge event for me didn’t even make him frown. “It was my fault. I should have used protection. I won’t let this happen again.” “As for the child, I never thought about having children. Now that it’s gone, let’s just say this child wasn’t meant for us.” That was when I was most vulnerable. I picked up the pillow and smashed it on him repeatedly: “Caleb, are you human? How can you say such things? Do I have no place in your heart? You don’t care about my life or death, and you don’t like me at all, do you?” Caleb didn’t move, letting me hit him with the pillow. I was tired and told him to leave, and he really left. I stayed in the hospital for half a month, and Caleb didn’t visit me once. My parents regretted it, saying they shouldn’t have forced the marriage, and told me to divorce. Half a month later, I returned home. Caleb transferred the house to my name. He told me: “Chloe, this is all I can give you.” “If you want my heart, I can tell you clearly, I can’t give it to you.” “If you want a divorce, you can. I will leave the marriage with nothing.” At that moment, I completely gave up on him. But I didn’t divorce him. He had money and was generous. I just needed to guard the money. What sapiosexual? Sometimes it’s money-sexual!

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My sister has a developmental delay, with an IQ of a 7-year-old. Our family arranged a marriage for her. The groom was 36, slightly disabled, and owned a grocery store in the next county. On the day of the wedding, my sister was dressed beautifully, her eyes full of innocent curiosity. Mom lied to her: “We’re going on a trip. Be good.” She got into the car excitedly. After that, I never heard from her again. Until the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival, she came back. She lay by the window and whispered timidly, “Sis, my body hurts a little.” “C-can I rest at home for a few days?” 1 Although my sister Jenny is simple-minded, she is exceptionally beautiful, especially her eyes—dark and bright. Like an innocent little animal. So when she secretly peeked through my window, I spotted her immediately. “Jen?” Seeing her alone, I was shocked. It takes three hours just to drive from the county to our town, with transfers in between. I didn’t know how she made it back. Through the window glass, I saw her eyes filled with tears. Her voice was very low: “Sis, my body hurts a little.” “C-can I rest at home for a few days?” Saying the word “home,” her mouth puckered slightly, trying hard not to cry. When I was bullied as a kid, she had the same expression when protecting me. I put down my homework, feeling complicated, and opened the window. Only when she was close did I notice a small sign hanging around her neck. Written in black marker: [Jenny Chen, has an owner, contact: 137xxx] “Who hung this sign on you?!” I frowned, trying to untie it for her, only to find it was a dead knot, and the string was wire. Like a collar, it couldn’t be taken off. Jenny didn’t hide her emotions; grievance and sadness flowed freely. “He hung it on me. I said no, I don’t like it, he wouldn’t listen.” I froze. “He” must be my brother-in-law. I only saw him once at the wedding—tall and thin, with a slight disability in his right leg, walking unsteadily. He looked honest, but I didn’t expect him to be this kind of person behind the scenes. Our house is self-built; my room is on the first floor, my parents are on the second, and there’s no one in the living room. I quietly opened the door and let Jenny in. Back in the room, under the fluorescent light, Jenny’s face was dirty, her clothes torn and dusty. I asked, “Did you run away?” She nodded, saying foolishly, “I asked a lot of people and took the bus for a long time to find our home.” I lifted her collar and gasped. Her fair skin was covered with red marks, some healed, some new. I rolled up her sleeves; her arms were the same. “Who beat you?” I gritted my teeth. She blinked, tears rolling down one by one. “Many people. Him, his mom, his dad…” “Mia, I don’t want to live with them.” “I want to go home.” 2 “Okay.” I said, without any hesitation. “You hide in this room. Don’t let Mom and Dad know. I’ll bring you food when you’re hungry.” Jenny’s sorrowful eyes finally lit up. “Really?” She asked cautiously. I made the bed and took out another quilt from the closet. “This is your room too.” Our house has few rooms—one for parents, one for my brother. Before Jenny got married, I shared this room with her. I still kept her things. Seeing me make the bed, Jenny was excited, speaking like a child: “I must hide well!” I smiled helplessly. “I’ll find pliers later to get that thing off your neck.” “I’m going to get you some water now, don’t go out…” “Mia! I want to play games!” Bang! The door was knocked open by brute force. I frowned, quickly blocking the door, shouting sternly: “Tyler, how many times have I told you to knock before entering my room!” Tyler froze, peering inside. “Is Big Sis back?” “I saw her.” I put on a cold face. “No, you’re seeing things.” “Didn’t you want to play games? Go out first, I’ll find my phone.” Tyler’s eyes widened, declaring aggressively: “It’s Big Sis! I saw her, don’t try to trick me.” “Mom said she’s married now, she’s not part of our family anymore.” “I’m telling Mom and Dad!” He tried to run, but I grabbed his arm. “If you talk nonsense again, believe it or not, I’ll smack you.” Tyler was rebellious; he stretched his neck and started screaming. “Mom! Dad! Big Sis is back!” “Mia is going to hit me!” “Save me!” The next second, footsteps sounded on the stairs. Tyler grinned triumphantly and cheaply. I was furious and slapped him across the face, crisp and loud. He burst into tears immediately. “Mia, why did you hit Tyler?” Mom screamed, prying my hand away, glaring at me hatefully. “What if you hurt your brother? Are you going to support him?” Tyler wailed loudly. “Big Sis is back! Mia wouldn’t let me tell you. She said she’d hit me if I did.” As soon as the words fell, my parents’ faces changed drastically. “Jenny ran back?” “Is she in your room?” They interrogated endlessly. I calmly blocked the door. “Tyler is talking nonsense.” “The county is so far from town, how could she come back alone?” “I didn’t let Tyler play games, so he lied.” Mom was skeptical. “I didn’t lie!” Tyler stopped crying, pushed me aside angrily, and squeezed into the room. The door was wide open, everything inside visible. No sign of Jenny. He looked confused. “Big Sis was standing right there just now.” Tyler pointed to a spot. “Mom, I didn’t lie, I really saw her come back.” I sneered. Mom sighed. “Enough, what’s all the fuss on Mid-Autumn Festival.” “If Tyler wants to play games, give him the phone.” “You’re a senior in high school, studying is more important. What use do you have for a phone?” I swallowed my grievance and annoyance, went into the room to get the phone. “Here.” Tyler held the phone, but his eyes stared fixedly at the closet. I yawned, pretending to be sleepy. “I have school tomorrow, going to sleep now.” Mom led Tyler upstairs. I breathed a sigh of relief, ready to close the door. My hand just gripped the handle when someone’s phone rang. Dad picked up his phone, glanced at it, and said, “It’s the in-laws.” I held my breath, heart racing. He pressed answer, smiling politely: “In-law, Happy Mid-Autumn Festival, have you eaten?” Silence on the other end for two seconds, then cursing erupted: “Eat my ass.” “Your daughter ran away!” 3 “What?!” Dad’s pupils dilated, his smile vanishing completely. Mom stood frozen. The voice on the phone was furious: “If you don’t find your daughter by tomorrow, return the dowry.” Jenny was only 19, but she was exchanged for a $30,000 dowry. After getting the money, the house was renovated, Tyler enrolled in cram school, Dad bought a camera he’d been eyeing, and Mom wore a gold necklace. The family also bought a second-hand car. The $30,000 was long gone; my parents couldn’t pay it back. Dad panicked, arguing: “Jenny is simple-minded, how could she run?” “Did you make a mistake?” “I checked the surveillance. She took a bus and ran. Destination is your house.” “If you’re playing games with me, I won’t let your Chen family off.” My heart was in my throat. Tyler suddenly shouted: “Big Sis is in Mia’s room!” Mom’s face darkened. Without any suspicion, she walked straight into my room. She opened the closet. Empty. She squatted to look under the bed. Still nothing. Mom questioned viciously: “Where did you hide her?” I pinched my palm, expression unchanged. “I don’t know.” “She didn’t come back.” Dad’s lips curled down. He slapped me across the face, his voice loud and oppressive: “Still lying.” “Besides you, who else can she go to?” Half my face burned with pain, a rusty taste in my mouth—probably bleeding. I covered my face, gasping, “She’s a person, she has her own thoughts, she wouldn’t be stupid enough to come back to this house.” “If you don’t believe me, call the police!” My parents looked at each other, falling silent. They dared not call the police. They knew selling their daughter was shameful. I confronted them with red eyes. “If you don’t call the police, I will.” I snatched the phone back from Tyler and quickly dialed 911. “Beep, beep—” Before the second ring, Dad snatched the phone away. He cut the call, cheeks trembling with anger. “Don’t air dirty laundry in public!” Mom cursed: “That idiot! Others feed and house her, yet she still runs!” “What do we do? The in-laws are coming tomorrow.” They rubbed their brows helplessly, looking anxious. Tyler rolled his eyes and looked up. “Just send Mia.” My fingers trembled, locking eyes with him. He hid behind Mom, only showing his head, smiling brightly. “Big Sis and Mia actually look quite alike.” “Mia can go deal with them for a few days. Once we find Big Sis, we’ll bring her back.” 4 A glint flashed in my parents’ eyes. Sensing their thoughts, I firmly refused. “I won’t go. I’m a minor. That’s illegal.” Mom smiled: “Mia, just treat it as playing for a few days. Once we find your sister, we’ll pick you up.” Dad’s face softened. “Just keep it within the family. No one else needs to know.” “Your brother-in-law is a decent guy. He won’t bully you.” Hearing their ghostly words, I laughed until I cried. I wiped the mist from my eyes and glanced coldly at Tyler. “Since you have to send someone, I think Tyler is the most suitable.” “He’s a boy. Maybe brother-in-law doesn’t have that preference. Plus, he doesn’t have school, plenty of time.” Tyler pouted. “I’m not going.” “Brother-in-law is a psycho. I don’t want to be with him!” Mom looked at me dissatisfied. “You’re the older sister now. Why don’t you have any responsibility?” “No more discussion. Tomorrow your dad will drive you there. Stay in your room obediently.” My jaw tightened. “If you want to go, go yourself.” “The money came from selling your daughter. Pay it back yourself.” After I said this, the two people in front of me turned cold. Mom grabbed my ear and slapped me several times. Her sharp, long nails scratched my cheek, leaving a trail of blood. “Did we spend no money raising her? With her IQ, she can’t survive in society. Getting married early is the right thing.” “She marries, we get some pension money. How is that selling a daughter?” I cried from the pain, heart cold. Dad took a rope, ignoring my struggles, and tied my hands. “Stop talking nonsense with her. Send her directly to the in-laws tomorrow.” Just as I wanted to struggle, Jenny’s faint crying reached my ears. “Don’t, don’t send Mia.” My throat tightened. She crawled out of an inconspicuous cardboard box, clenching her fists nervously. “Don’t hit Mia…” My parents stopped moving.

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I planned to force my stepbrother into submission. I wanted to drug him. But before I could even act, he found my stash. He exploded: “Who did you plan to use this on? You’re just a kid, why are you so messed up?!” Later, when he found out the drugs were meant for him, he didn’t beat me up. Instead, he lay back and smirked. “You don’t need that stuff.” “Come here, baby. Didn’t you want to cook the rice? Let big brother teach you how. Whatever you want to do… just be direct.” 1 “Let me confirm this one more time. You said you’re going to do what to your brother?” Jayden stared at me, eyes wide, asking again in disbelief. I chugged some water, repeating without changing my expression: “I said, I’m going to drug my brother, rip his clothes off, pin him to the bed, bite his tongue, and then rid—” “Stop, stop, stop!” Jayden looked like he was suffocating. He pinched my mouth shut, glancing around the basketball court like a thief. He lowered his voice and cursed, “Gross. Too gross. Eli, you’re a beast. He’s your brother. Even if not by blood, he’s still your brother.” I didn’t like hearing that. I retorted unhappily, “So what?” I just like my brother, what’s wrong with that? Even if liking my brother is shocking, immoral, and unforgivable, is it entirely my fault? Is my brother innocent? If Caleb Vance wasn’t my brother, I’d just be a normal guy who likes men. How would I become a beast who dares to go after his own brother? The root cause is that he became my brother first, leading to the result of me being a beast. He has to take primary responsibility. Jayden paced anxiously. “Your brother controls you so strictly. Where did you get the drugs?” I said matter-of-factly, “You gave them to me.” “When did I…” He realized and raged, “Eli Xu! You’re immoral enough to drag me into this?” I stared at him silently. Jayden compromised in despair. “Fuck, I really owe you. Let me think of a way. If you get caught, don’t rat me out.” Then he silently took out his phone and started searching “Should I report my bro going down the wrong path” and “General punishment for aiding and abetting.” 2 When I got home, Caleb was cooking in the kitchen. Hearing the noise, he glanced back at me. His gaze fell on my sweat-soaked jersey first, and he spoke with dissatisfaction: “How many times have I said it? Put on a jacket after playing ball. Sweaty all over, it’s easy to catch a cold in the wind. Eli, do you want to drink bitter medicine again?” I leaned against the doorframe, my gaze licking over his back inch by inch. Broad shoulders, narrow waist, perky butt. The pink apron strings were tied in a neat bow behind him, swaying gently. Like a carefully wrapped gift waiting for me to unwrap. I swallowed. My heart itched, my hands itched. I was going crazy with craving. I told you my brother isn’t innocent at all. He probably doesn’t know that every move he makes sets off a stormy sea in my heart. Waiting for no response, thinking I was being stubborn again, Caleb shook his head helplessly. He turned around with a small plate of freshly fried crispy pork and fed me a piece. The smile at the corner of his mouth was indulgent. “Hungry? Go wash your hands, dinner soon.” I leaned in, taking a piece from his hand with my mouth, the tip of my tongue “accidentally” brushing his finger. Chewing the crispy pork, I mumbled vaguely, “Mhm, dying of craving.” I didn’t want to go to this step, really. I also wanted to take the pure love route. But my brother is stubborn and impervious to soft or hard tactics. 3 On my eighteenth birthday, I spoke wild words. “Bro, I like men. I want to spend my life with a man.” My brother is an old-fashioned guy. He once told me personally that every node in his life must be walked accurately, and he would never let himself fall into the mud. So my brother always took feelings lightly. Family and love couldn’t tie him down. As I grew up, he became more mature. Few people came and went, and only I was important enough to talk about. Restraining me, disciplining me, and planning every step of my future. In my imagination, first tell my brother I like men, then tell him the man I like is him. Proceeding in this order, I wouldn’t anger him to death as soon as I opened my mouth. I didn’t get my brother’s eighteenth birthday, but my brother didn’t miss mine. Just as I thought, Caleb’s face was iron green. He asked, “How old is he? Where is he from? Do I know him? When did you meet?” I answered cautiously, “Twenty-five…” I didn’t continue because my brother laughed when he heard twenty-five. He gently patted my head. “Shut up. Say another word and I’ll break your legs.” He acted like nothing happened, thoughtfully waiting until twelve o’clock, when my birthday was over. Then he went crazy, grabbing my ear and asking: “Eli Xu! Where did you meet this old man?! How old is he and how old are you? You don’t know better, but at twenty-five, shouldn’t he? Go stand in the corner and reflect. I’ll pretend I never heard your nonsense.” I refused to submit. “Caleb Vance, my mind is very clear!” I just like you. I want to kiss you, bite you, hug you, fuck you. I didn’t dare say this because my brother looked like he was about to faint from anger. On the first day of being eighteen, I was pinned down by my brother, pants off, rewarded with a belt whipping. The four words “I like you” were thoroughly whipped back into my stomach. But he still couldn’t be cruel. He didn’t really hit hard. Because I didn’t feel pain, only tickles, and my whole body went numb. From childhood to adulthood, he always had so much reluctance, so much indulgence, which is why my guts grew to this size today. All in all, blame him. I stood facing the wall with tears in my eyes for an hour, still not relenting. My brother couldn’t do anything with me. Sighing with a cigarette in his mouth, he scolded grumpily, “Little bastard, how many people have you met to talk about liking or not?” After a moment of silence, he lowered his voice. “Either forget him, or bring him here for me to see. See if I beat him to death or not.” I tentatively asked him, “Bro, I like a twenty-five-year-old man. How do you feel?” Caleb gritted his teeth. “How do I feel? I feel fucking disgusted! I want to hit someone!” Disgusted? All the courage I had accumulated was punctured by these two words. Can I bear the consequences of recklessness? What if… what if my relationship with my brother shatters into pieces because of my liking, unable to be put back together? What should I do? How will my brother see me? A younger brother with dirty thoughts about him. Just imagining the look of disgust that might appear in his eyes makes it hard for me to breathe. Seeing me suddenly silent, Caleb probably thought his words were too heavy and scared me. His tone softened, reasoning with me: “Eli, you’re still young. That man is seven years older than you. What good intentions can he have approaching you? He just sees you’re young and easy to cheat. You can think I’m feudal or annoying, but I will absolutely not agree to you being with him.” Later, my brother locked me up. For the whole summer vacation, he strictly screened everyone around me, even suspecting if I met a pervert online. Only after confirming there were no ambiguous old men around me did he graciously let me go out. 4 My brother said I don’t understand what love is. I do. When I was five, I was led into the Vance family by my unreliable mother. Strange environment, strange people, I cried my heart out. Then, twelve-year-old Caleb squatted in front of me. He took out a handkerchief, wiped away my tears bit by bit, and gently straightened the crooked little bow tie on my neck. He wrapped my hand in his palm and coaxed patiently, “I’m your brother. Brother is here. Little treasure, stop crying, okay?” When I grew older, his lecherous dad and my money-grubbing mom were lovey-dovey, wandering all over the place, unseen all year round. I’ve met many people, but the only word that fills my entire world is “Brother.” What is love? In elementary school, the essay topic was “The Person I Love Most.” I wrote three full pages about how good my brother is—Brother cooks for me, teaches me homework, protects me, puts me to sleep. I love Brother the most in the world. Caleb read it and laughed immediately, picked me up and kissed me hard twice, saying, “Brother loves you too. Our Eli is so good, worth spoiling.” I became increasingly dissatisfied. I’m not satisfied with him just being a brother. I’m not satisfied that his slender fingers are only used to peel shrimp and straighten my collar. I’m not satisfied that his deep voice only says “Eli, behave.” I’m not satisfied that his broad embrace is only open temporarily when I’m sick or have a nightmare. I’m even more unsatisfied that one day he will give this unique kindness, untouched, to another person. I want him to lose control. I want his eyes, hands, arms, and heart to only hold me. Love is being unsatisfied again and again. 5 I was still unsatisfied, so I didn’t give up. On the surface, I acted good, but behind the scenes, I looked for a permanent solution. When I got the drugs Jayden secretly stuffed for me, my hands were shaking. A little scared, but mostly excited. I planned it well: Friday night, my brother usually drinks some red wine to relax. I’ll drug it beforehand, wait for him to react, then pretend to accidentally get close. Unknowingly cook the raw rice. The next day I’ll cry holding his neck, saying my innocence is gone and I can only be his person for the rest of my life, and I won’t have the face to live if I’m not with him. With my brother’s personality of overflowing responsibility, even if he doesn’t like me, he will definitely take responsibility. I know I’m a despicable villain, but Uncle Vance and my mom have already started introducing marriage partners to my brother. I can’t sit still. Returning home after class, my heart surged. As soon as I pushed the door open, I smelled a low pressure like a coming storm. My brother sat on the living room sofa, back straight. On the coffee table in front of him sat the small medicine bottle I hid in my pillow. My heart stopped instantly. I calculated everything, but didn’t calculate that my brother would find that bottle of medicine in advance. My brother looked up at me, expressionless. But I knew he was furious. “Eli Xu, get over here.” I moved over slowly, my brain frantically flashing “It’s over,” “I’m dead,” “Is it too late to run.” “What is this?” He shook the bottle. My legs were a bit weak, wanting to muddle through: “Mela… Melatonin. I’ve been having insomnia recently.” He laughed angrily: “Do you take your brother for a fool?!” Caleb stood up, his tall shadow looming over me, full of oppression: “Eli, kneel!” I shivered and knelt down quickly. “Where did you get it? Who did you want to use it on? You’ve got some nerve!” “Who taught you? You’re so young, yet so messed up!” “A brat engaging in this mess. Did you meet some shady people outside? Speak!” The more he spoke, the angrier he got, his chest heaving. That look was like the cabbage he raised carefully for over ten years not only wanted to dig a pit and jump into the pigsty himself but also prepared to drug the pig for fun.

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