The new intern Lexi claimed she was diagnosed with a “Self-Love Personality”, everything must prioritize herself first. I led her to work on a Multi-million Dollar Proposal, she directly deleted the most difficult cost analysis page to save trouble. “Calculating this is too tiring, it will generate negative emotions in me, Self-Care is the first rule.” Meeting a big client, she ordered herself top A5 Wagyu Beef, but ordered a Kids’ Meal for the client. “Client has a bad stomach, Kids’ Meal is just right for nursing the stomach, and I don’t want to wrong my own stomach, any problem?” I endured anger to negotiate the contract, but turned around and found she signed my core proposal with her own name. Facing my questioning, she was self-righteous: “Opportunities are originally meant to be fought for by oneself ah.” I laughed in anger. Fine, then cherish the opportunity you fought for yourself well. … Chapter 1 “Lexi, explain the proposal signature.” I slammed the file on her desk, pages curled instantly. She didn’t even lift her head, slowly filing her newly done nails. “Sarah, is there any problem?” I laughed in anger, pointing at the name Lexi on the cover. “I stayed up three nights for this proposal, how did the signature become you?” She blew off the powder on her nails, lifted her face with full makeup. “Sarah, opportunities are originally meant to be fought for by oneself ah.” She added as a matter of course. “Besides, I also helped you format and correct typos, doesn’t count as doing nothing right.” A fire rushed up my chest. “Your formatting, is deleting the most important cost analysis?” “That page was too hard, gave me a headache reading it.” She frowned. “Sarah, people have to practice Self-Care, internal friction for work is not worth it.” In the office, colleagues’ gazes already drifted over. I was just about to speak, Lexi’s eyes turned red, tears fell just like that. “Sarah, I know I’m an intern, but you can’t suppress newcomers like this.” Her volume was not big or small, just enough for the whole office to hear clearly. “I just wanted to contribute more, prove myself, did I do wrong?” She took out her phone, fingers flying. Screen shoved to my face, was a just posted Instagram Story. Picture was her selfie looking like about to cry, caption stinging. “Love yourself, start from rejecting ruthless PUA from workplace seniors. #WorkplaceBullying” Surrounding discussion sounds, instantly rang. “Sarah is too aggressive right, is it necessary to an intern?” “The little girl just wanted to learn more things that’s all.” “Sigh, credit being stolen definitely feels bad, but making a scene like this, is a bit too much.” I felt like I was stripped naked, exhibited in front of everyone. At this time, the Director’s office door opened. Director Johnson walked out with his beer belly: “What’s the noise? Don’t want to work?” Lexi immediately like finding a savior, crying pounced over. “Director Johnson, I just wanted to share Sarah’s burden, make the proposal better, but she… she insisted I stole credit.” Director Johnson patted her shoulder, a face of smoothing things over. “Sarah, what do you calculate with a newcomer, be more generous.” “Newcomer having enthusiasm is a good thing, you have to mentor.” I anxiously explained: “Director Johnson! She deleted the cost analysis page! This will cause big trouble!” Lexi immediately interrupted me, tone hiding pride. “Sarah, you are too anxious, need to grasp the big and let go of the small, creativity is the core.” She turned to look at Director Johnson, tears on face, but eyes full of pride. “Director Johnson, let me lead the presentation for this proposal, I have a good mindset, can better provide positive emotional value to the client.” Director Johnson actually nodded. “Fine, emotional value is very important, Sarah you assist her.” I froze in place, throat tight, couldn’t say a word. Lexi walked back to her seat, stopped when passing me. She picked up the coffee on my desk, poured it directly into the plant next to it. “Sarah, cold coffee hurts stomach, too un-Self-Care, I helped you pour it.” That was the pour-over I just made to refresh myself. Just seeped into the soil, gone. At night, I prepared to copy the original file, but found computer locked. Password error too many times. Lexi came out from the pantry, seeing me like this, covered mouth laughing. “Ouch Sarah, I wanted to help you change a lucky password, who knew your computer is as stupid as you.” She smiled and turned away, expression full of mockery. I stared at the black screen, fist clenched dead tight, nails almost embedded into flesh. Then, I slowly released my fist. Took out phone, pressed recording. Chapter 2 Night before the bid, I stayed in company, last time checking files. When I clicked open the final PPT uploaded by Lexi, blood almost coagulated. The cost analysis page, was still dazzlingly blank. I immediately dialed Lexi’s phone. Ringtone rang for half a minute, finally picked up, background was Spa water flow and light music. “Hello, Sarah?” Her voice lazy, with heavy nasal sound. “Lexi! Why is the cost analysis page still empty!” My voice trembled with anger. Other end of phone came her extremely dissatisfied mumble. “Sarah, I will handle it myself during work hours tomorrow.” “But now is off-work time, first step of Self-Care, is work and life must be separated.” “I’m doing Spa, don’t disturb me.” “Beep——” She directly hung up. Call again, already busy signal. Next day, bidding site. I stood on one side, watching Lexi under spotlight. She talked eloquently, blowing brand resonance into flowers according to the script prepared by company in advance. Client side person in charge, that rigorous middle-aged man Mr. Williams, actually also nodded frequently. Until PPT turned to financial budget. Blank. Whole venue dead silence. Client person in charge’s face instantly sank. “Miss Lexi, where is your cost analysis?” Lexi only stunned for a second, immediately put on a perfect smile. “Mr. Williams, data is cold, but the feeling we can bring you is priceless.” “We pursue soul collision, not number transaction.” Mr. Williams laughed out loud by these words. He “Snap” closed laptop, stood up. “Director Sarah, this is your company’s professionalism?” “A multi-million dollar project, don’t even have the most basic cost breakdown?” “Cooperation ends here, your company, permanent blacklist.” Every word, was like a slap on my face. Director Johnson’s face swelled into pig liver color. I rushed onto stage, bowed deeply to Mr. Williams. “Mr. Williams, sorry! Please give us another five minutes!” I grabbed whiteboard marker, relying on memory of staying up several nights, quickly wrote core costs. Manpower, materials, channels, risk fund… Numbers poured out like carved in brain. Huge pressure and fatigue of sleepless night, made stomach cramp in waves, eyes black. Finished writing last number, my legs soft, almost fell. Lexi then walked over slowly, stood aside, too lazy to even extend a hand. She not only had no trace of apology, instead said to Mr. Williams who already walked to door: “This gentleman, I think you should manage your emotions, getting angry so easily, is bad for body.” Mr. Williams’ back stiffened, disappeared at door without looking back. Director Johnson finally exploded, grabbed folder on table, fiercely smashed at my feet. “Sarah! How do you lead people! Company face all lost by you!” I haven’t opened mouth, Lexi snatched first step, crying tone came out. “Director Johnson, was Sarah taught me to grasp big let go small, I then deleted those unimportant details.” “I thought she as person in charge, would check at last.” I angry whole body trembling: “You lying!.” “Sarah, I have chat records.” She took out phone, made posture to flip. Director Johnson impatiently waved hand interrupted. “Enough! Sarah, major work mistake, suspended for reflection! This quarter bonus all deducted!” He turned to Lexi, face actually eased down. “Although Lexi lacks experience, but mentality is very stable. Follow up matter of comforting client, you follow up.” I froze in place like drained of all strength. Lexi walked to me, took out a sheet mask from her branded bag, stuffed into my hand. “Sarah, face all yellow, skin management is also part of Self-Care oh.” She leaned to my ear, used voice only we can hear said. “This bonus, just treat as paying tuition, buy a lesson.” Chapter 3 Second day of suspension, Director Johnson’s call smashed over, tone was command. “Sarah, return to company immediately! Mr. Zhao side loosened mouth, willing to meet, you take Lexi to apologize!” Mr. Zhao, the boss of that Mr. Williams, billionaire group owner. Able to make him turn back, presumably company spent big money. I rushed to company, Lexi already dressed up flower branch tremble. “Sarah, I booked the restaurant, absolutely fits our life aesthetics.” She winked at me, full of confidence. I didn’t speak, followed her into car. Restaurant located by river, top tier, every place revealed expensive. Mr. Zhao already arrived, sitting alone by window, face gloomy. I fast stepped forward, just about to open mouth apologize. Lexi however snatched first step, pulled chair sat down, action elegantly poured herself a cup of lemon water. “Waiter, one portion A5 Wagyu Beef, medium rare.” She finished ordering, closed menu, then picked up another menu from table. “Mr. Zhao,” she said with a tone of utmost care. “I can feel, your energy field is very tight, full of anxiety and fatigue.” “Eat this for health, light, good for you.” Saying ordered a cheapest Kids’ Meal. Air solidified. Lexi as if unaware, continue preaching like opening mouth. “Money can’t be earned finish, but a healthy soul is priceless. Today, we don’t talk work, only talk feelings.” Then, she turned menu to me, smile amiable. “Sarah, you also order one, don’t always think about pleasing others wronging yourself, women need to treat themselves better.” Mr. Zhao’s face was already very ugly. My brain buzzed, reason completely disconnected. To save situation, I suddenly stood up, lifted the decanter filled with high degree white liquor on table. “Mr. Zhao, it’s my fault, I didn’t lead subordinate well, let her speak so much nonsense!” “I punish myself three cups, apologize to you!” Voice not fallen, I raised head drank three cups in a row. Strong liquor like fire, burned from throat all way into stomach, severe pain instantly tightened my internal organs. Mr. Zhao’s face slightly eased, but still didn’t open mouth. I gritted teeth, filled three cups again. “Please you, give us another chance!” Six cups down stomach, I felt whole stomach turning rivers and seas. In blurred vision, I saw Lexi not only didn’t stop, instead took out phone, aimed at my embarrassed look. She opened TikTok, edited caption. “Taking senior to see world, she only knows using way of hurting body to talk business, really pathetic.” “New era women, should learn to solve problems elegantly. #WorkplaceWisdom #SelfCare” Mr. Zhao finally stood up. He didn’t even look at Lexi once, just deeply looked at me once. “Sarah, person you brought, today really opened my eyes.” Finished, he left without looking back. I couldn’t hold anymore, fiercely rushed to restroom, knelt before toilet vomiting sky dark earth dark. Stomach spasm one wave more violent than another, I pain cold sweat direct flow, even waist couldn’t straighten. Lexi stepped on high heels walked in, looking down at me high above. She handed a tissue, tone full of coquettish complaint. “This client really no taste, don’t understand energy and magnetic field at all, seriously affected my mood enjoying Wagyu.” I took tissue, wiped dirty stuff on mouth corner, raised head. In mirror, my face pale as paper. All humiliation, pain and anger, congealed at this moment. Back to company, I became everyone’s joke. “Heard? Sarah angered Mr. Zhao away, herself even drank to vomit.” “That intern she led is the god, dared treat Mr. Zhao Kids’ Meal!” Director Johnson called me into office, a suspension notice slammed on my face. “Roll home reflect!” I said nothing, packed things, left in countless eyes watching show. I locked myself at home. Company annual proposal design award review is about to begin. This is my only chance to flip the table. I called out all project data handled in few years, combined latest market trend, stayed up several nights. A brand new proposal formed in my hands. Suspension ended, I returned to company, everyday gray head dirt face sitting in corner. I crazy overtime, office light always lit for me. Same time a pair of eyes spying in darkness. Finally, a late night, I slept on table. Hand side, placed a black USB Drive. Label wrote: Final Proposal (Top Secret). Office surveillance, coincidentally broke few days ago, under repair. I buried in arm bend, peripheral vision glimpsed a figure. Lexi. She tiptoed walked to my desk, quickly pulled out USB Drive, disappeared in darkness. Next day, I collapsed making scene in office. “My USB Drive missing! Proposal I prepared for competition stolen!” Lexi sat aside, slow orderly applying hand cream, tone cool thin. “Sarah, did you forget where put yourself? Age big, memory bad also normal.” I saw pride couldn’t hide in her eyes bottom. Looks like she already found someone cracked password. Chapter 4 Annual Award Review Meeting. Company high levels all present. Host voice just fell, Lexi first raised hand. “Leaders, I have an epoch-making proposal, will bring subversive profit growth to company!” She stepped confident steps up stage, plugged in USB Drive. That was exactly the one I lost. PPT lit up, title was: 《Self-Careism Business —— Detonating Profit New Era》. Signature: Lexi. She talked eloquently, big talk online community pre-sale, member points leverage, consumption capitalization… A series operation sounded flowers falling from sky. Director Johnson watched two eyes shining light, body involuntarily leaned forward. Lexi’s voice echoed in conference room. “This is me practicing Self-Careism, in most relaxed, most self-loving state, researched new business model!” I sat under stage, face pale, body uncontrollably trembling. Surroundings cast countless sympathetic gazes. Lexi finished presentation, whole venue applause thunderous. Director Johnson stood up on spot, excitedly announced: “Lexi, convert to regular immediately! I appoint you as Deputy Director of Creative Department!” He turned to me, face sank: “Sarah, repeatedly make mistakes, thinking rigid, transfer to Admin Department responsible for miscellaneous duties immediately, reflect well!” Whole venue uproar. Lexi walked down stage amidst congratulations, straight came to me. She high above, extended finger painted bright red polish, frivolously patted my face. Action extreme insult. “Sarah, person has to consider for self, opportunity has to fight by self.” “This proposal, I accept with smile.” I raised head staring her. Slowly hooked mouth corner, soft voice opened mouth. “Lexi, you said right, person has to consider for self.” Lexi probably thought I accepted fate, proudly opened mouth: “Now understand my advanced thought?” Voice not fallen. Conference room heavy door fiercely pushed open. Several men wearing uniform, expression serious walked in. Leading person eyes like lightning, scanned whole venue. “Who is Lexi?” “We received report, you suspected Illegal Fundraising and Commercial Fraud.” Smile on Lexi’s face froze. Whole venue applause and congratulation sound, stopped abruptly. Everyone’s gaze, uniform nailed on those few uniformed personnel suddenly broke in. “I… I am Lexi.” Her voice trembling, eyes panicked. “Did you guys mistake? What commercial fraud?” Leading officer didn’t care her, gaze turned to me: “Is you called police?” I stood up from seat, nodded. “Yes, officer.” “I report Lexi, stole my commercial proposal, and attempted use this proposal conduct illegal fundraising.” Lexi instantly screamed: “You blood mouth spray people! Sarah, this is proposal I thought myself!” “You thought yourself?” I sneered, pressed video play button. Lexi sneaky walked into my office, pulled USB Drive while I slept. Lexi’s face, blood color instantly faded clean. Director Johnson completely confused, he pointed PPT on stage. “Then what problem this proposal has? I looked, very creative, profit very high!” I looked at Director Johnson, gaze ice cold. “Director Johnson, did you understand?” “This so-called business closed loop, essence is a Ponzi Scheme.” “Use new member prepayment, to pay old member so-called dividend, once capital chain breaks, company immediately carry huge debt.” “This is a logic trap that once started, will touch criminal law.” Sound of sucking cold air in conference room. Lexi crazy shook head: “No! I don’t know! This has no relation with me!” “Of course you don’t know.” I step by step walked to her, voice not loud, but word word punish heart. “Your eyes only have profit doubling, only thinking reach sky one step.” “For your interest, you didn’t even bother look at most basic legal risk.” “More importantly,” I paused. “To sit solid credit completely, you yesterday afternoon, already took this proposal stamped with your private seal, went tax department did project filing, right?” Lexi’s body violently swayed, almost collapsed. She impatiently walked official procedure, tied herself and this fraud proposal, firmly dead together. Officer stepped forward, showed a document: “Lexi, we have retrieved filing record from relevant department.” “This business plan submitted in your personal name, suspected constitute commercial fraud crime, please follow us back assist investigation.” “No! Is she framed me! Is Sarah!” Lexi completely collapsed, pointing me hysterically roaring. I face expressionless, pressed phone again. Another recording rang. “Opportunity has to fight by self.” “This proposal, I accept with smile.” Her self-righteous voice, in dead silent conference room appeared incomparable ironic. Director Johnson face from red turn white, lips trembling, pointing Lexi, couldn’t say a word. Two officers stepped forward, one left one right held her. Cold handcuffs, cuffed that hand just patted my face. “No! Let go me! I just want love myself! What wrong I have!” She was dragged out conference room, crazy crying shout gradually dissipated in corridor. I looked direction she disappeared, slowly exhaled a mouthful turbid air.

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After divorcing Lucas Hale, my belly grew bigger day by day. Parents and the Fake Heiress were anxious to death, urging me to get surgery every day. In my previous life, because Lucas was promiscuous, I angrily aborted the child. He hated me to the bone, completely dispelled the thought of remarrying me. But not long after, the Fake Heiress married him. Later my family went bankrupt, I was despised because of divorce and abortion. Since then displaced, sequelae of surgery collapsed my body, years of illness. Soon died on a street in winter. While Lucas’s business expanded nationwide, the Fake Heiress traveled the world, living like fish in water. Everyone laughed at me self-inflicted, born to suffer. Opening eyes again, I directly called Lucas. This life, I want the child, and I want the money too. … Chapter 1 “You are divorced, big belly is simply a joke, listen to Mom, hurry go abort it.” “Yes sister, you grew up in Rural Kentucky originally not likable, now big belly everyone says you don’t even want face…” Mom and Jasmine stimulated me sentence after sentence, wishing to drag me to surgery now. Previous life, I was provoked by them to go to hospital. Lost my last chip. Jasmine also took the opportunity to ascend, became Mrs. Hale. Even after I died, not allowed me to be buried in Hamilton family plot. Throat surged with blood, meeting Jasmine’s impatient eyes, I actually laughed out. Next second, door was pushed open, Lucas rushed in. He breathed rapidly, always calm and self-controlled him actually face pale. “Child… child not aborted right?” Not waiting me open mouth, Jasmine suddenly interrupted: “Lucas brother don’t blame sister, she was also momentary impulse.” She looked like wood already became boat, while winking at me, while comforting instantly stiffened Lucas. “Child fine.” I directly refuted her words. Lucas eating people like face suddenly eased, stepped forward supported me into car. “Follow me home, have anything we talk well.” In rearview mirror, Jasmine’s face iron green and twisted. I sneered, when recovered spirit, but saw a lipstick left on passenger seat, not mine. Lucas immediately frowned, just want open mouth. I calmly moved away sight. A burst of abrupt silence, Lucas sizing up gaze fell on my face. Pointedly said: “You seem changed a bit.” I casually “Mm”ed, faintly said: “Isn’t this good?” Before I didn’t rub sand in eyes. Even Jasmine and him hold hands would make a scene sky flip earth over. Scold him, slap him, not allow him touch me. Forced him write guarantee letter to me. Start he would follow me, coax me, but gradually, he had enough. Even in front of full house outsiders directly mocked: “You a child held back, dad not pain mom not love, have what qualification arrogant in front of me?” I collapsed like a clown, heart pain split four five. He understood me too well, so clear where knife stab most painful. Embarrassment and anger rushed my head, that time I still didn’t believe, didn’t believe I can’t without him. So under my intense request, I divorced. But eighteen years in countryside, parents although found me back, but didn’t teach me skill to stand. Later days, I really as he said, lived tragic. Lucas quietly looked at me, don’t know thinking what. Suddenly, his phone rang, after connecting, my mom anxious voice came out. “Lucas, Jasmine that girl don’t know what happened, crying drove away, can you help me find her?” As long as matter concerns Jasmine, my mom always trouble Lucas, not consider my feeling a bit. Also, they two originally count childhood sweethearts. Until I eighteen was found back, Lucas love at first sight to me. That day I stood in Hamilton family hall, wearing tattered jacket, and pants obviously short a section. A group of noble young masters and young misses surrounded me laughing. I embarrassed face red, but posture stood straight. Lucas was at this time, scolded that group people, took me to another room. Later, he then started intentionally or unintentionally encounter me. Teach me High Society rules, buy me suitable dress and high heels. That time I too inferior, always felt he look down on me. So I like a hedgehog mocked him, but Lucas never angry. Instead when I was laughed “Hillbilly”, “Wild Child”. Punch by punch beat away those people. So when we announced marriage. Maybe not only Jasmine hate me, even my mother also hate me robbed her precious daughter’s good husband. “It’s okay, if you want go then go, I can take care myself.” I tone calm, expression reflected in glass no wave no shock. Lucas hand holding steering wheel tight, face not too good. Like angry with me, just sent me home, he then a foot gas left. I then couldn’t wait entered home, servants not surprised I suddenly back, stepped forward take my coat. Gentle said: “Madam, hot water ready, do you want take a bath?” I shook head: “Not rush.” I slowly strolled in villa, appreciating elegant decoration and Mid-Century Modern furniture I like. Finally is expensive jewelry on vanity table. Previous life, since I divorced, these all fell into Jasmine’s hands. Sister married brother-in-law such shocking thing, my mom instead reverse condemn me. “Yourself not cherish blame others what use? Anyway all one family, fertilizer not flow outsider field.” My dad then affair not concern self, day to night not go home. Even if I am their only bloodline, also can’t compare Jasmine’s a toe. Affection I demanded, in outsiders eyes start to end is a joke. After thoughts back, I went soak a hot bath, then directly fell on bed slept beautifully. Until “Snap” a sound, overhead chandelier directly woke me. Hazy open eyes, was Lucas black dark face. “Dawned?” My voice somewhat hoarse. Lucas laughed in anger. “Didn’t I say come back talk well? You not wait me then slept?” Not wait me open mouth, he again like claiming credit explained: “I found Jasmine at bar door, sent her home then immediately rushed back.” Air silent two seconds, I then realized he expecting my answer. So I dully nodded, dry laughed two sounds. “Quite good.” “Quite good?” Lucas lost voice ask back, a grab my wrist force ask: “You come back, is for child, or…” He eye rims red up: “Or because me.” Skin came stinging pain, I slightly frown. Who not for, just for myself. Looking Lucas relentless look, I contrary to heart said: “Both have, about to be mom, I always should be mature right?” As for him, then indifferent. As long as money give enough, he want do what then follow him. Just like before, after sleep me also not delay him go comfort Jasmine. Lucas expression slightly congeal, face crossed lost. Low voice mumble: “Celine, why I feel you weird?” He looked at boring expression on my face, again looked down at his empty phone. A anger suddenly straight rush brain. “Must you be like this? Yin yang weird air, half dead not alive!” “You have what want I all satisfy you still not enough? You still want me how?” I somewhat helpless look at him: “I don’t want how, you think too much.” Lucas face however no slight better, staring me two seconds then slammed door left.

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My mom is a well-known “Good Stepmom”. She treats her stepdad’s 3 children better than me. Even when 4 people got flu at the same time, she was afraid neighbors would gossip, only gave medicine to stepdad’s children, let me suffer through it. She countless times touched my face and said: “Stella, being a stepmom is hard, can’t treat them badly, otherwise mom’s backbone will be poked rotten.” “You will understand mom, right?” I understood many times, every time swallowed grievance silently. Until encountering police checking overload, rain pouring outside, mom again like before let me get off car to avoid. I stood still, because my leg was hit by stepbrother into a lame, couldn’t walk more than half an hour. Mom annoyed, force dragged me off car: “You child stubborn what! Be sensible okay!” “Find a place hide from rain, wait rain stop hurry go home.” I stunned in rain, this home is not what I want. … Chapter 1 This heavy rain, it didn’t stop. Water on ground already spread to my knees. Let me fall in rain water again and again. City street lights, hazy shining pitch black night. “Stella?” “Stella?” When I fell in water again, mom holding umbrella anxiously ran towards me. She always like this. Let me can’t love. Also hate not thorough. Her small body like a piece of paper in wind, blown down in water. Rain blurred my vision. Until mom ran to my side, her face and voice then clear in front of me. She difficultly fished me up from water, saw my face full of resentment. Carelessly did thought work for me again: “I know you uncomfortable in heart, mom also no way ah.” “You are my biological, they three are not.” “But if treat them a little bad, whole world will know, how I still be human ah.” “I know you suffered grievance, mom sorry you.” Speaking to last two sentences, she cried thick. Full of helplessness of not being understood, and involuntary of being stepmom. I didn’t utter a sound, under her support, returned to that home again. On dinner table only left leftovers. Even ginger water mom boiled for me to prevent cold, were drunk clean. Even trampled in cat bowl didn’t leave a sip for me. Two stepsisters and stepbrother all don’t like me. Surface polite to me, love ignore not ignore. Behind back they all say I am, living under others roof, only fit be their servant, even worse than dog. They also don’t like my mom, but enjoy mom’s good to them. Stepdad Frank sitting in living room watching TV, didn’t give us an extra look. Only perfunctory said a sentence: “Back.” He is very polite to me, no care no ask, no beat no scold. Like a just known uncle. But my mom loves him. Very love very love, even suffered many grievances, she also feels this is happiness running-in. Also exactly because love him, then after knowing stepdad original wife died of illness, regardless everything, even leave with nothing taking me also want divorce marry him. Mom said stepdad is her first love. If not because grandpa grandma blocked, their relationship wouldn’t be so bumpy. Also exactly because love stepdad, she love house and crow treat stepdad’s 3 children extra good. Mom supported me to bathroom, let me took a hot bath. Then brought me a cup of hot water, my stomach hungry rumbling. Just wanted open mouth say, mom I hungry. Then heard she say: “Not early, drink some water pad first, your second sister Brittany has neurasthenia, her room close to kitchen.” “Can’t hear a bit noise, tomorrow I get up early, then cook.” Words to my mouth, swallowed back again. Since became stepmom, she always can consider everyone in family. But only can’t consider me. She to be good stepmom, to not be gossiped. Even I got into Ivy League, she also because Big Sister Ashley a sentence: “We three didn’t go college, if Stella goes, do you have to compensate us three brothers sisters each one college money.” “Otherwise is you this stepmom biased!” Even my college tuition didn’t need stepdad pay. Mom’s salary enough for me go college. But she for fairness sake, also when couldn’t take out savings satisfy Ashley’s request. Crying begged me: “Stella you smart, even not read college later also can have way out.” “Don’t you love writing novels? Might as well write novels try, maybe this is your best way out.” That was my first time resist her. Collapsed crying hoarse voice: “They can’t go, that is they no ability test in.” “I use my own mom’s money go college can’t I?” “Even you don’t give me money, I can apply student loan myself.” But no matter how I noise, mom always helpless crying. Even knelt to me, fierce slap own face. I then knew my acceptance letter was torn into pieces by Brittany’s cat. Mom begged me not noise, begged me not let her hard got family have crack. I finally didn’t go college. Not only lost future, also lost leg. Even stepbrother Caleb, because driving without license reversing car broke my leg. She also because afraid I make matter big, Caleb go jail, afraid this family can’t maintain. Force with death, not allow me call police. She said this home is her life, Caleb also counts her biological child. If because me went jail, not only Caleb hate her, also will affect her relationship with stepdad. After another despair, I only felt, she is not their stepmom. She became my stepmom. Chapter 2 Next day, I indeed cold fever. Whole body weak paralyzed on bed. Mom morning came look me. Hurriedly put a cup of hot milk and egg on my bedside table. See I burned severe, prepared Tylenol for me again. She very hurried. Hurried to talk with me no time look me straight. “Stella, I go work, you sleep more.” “Fever a while can retreat, home hand to you.” This home only I one idler. Just because I am lame, can’t find suitable work. Except writing novels at home, is responsible for whole family food clothing living. Noon my phone ding ding pop messages. In family group chat, Brittany first sent @me: Little sister, I want eat lotus root meatballs today. Not pass 5 minutes, Ashley @me: Stella, night make a braised fish, your braised fish last time not bad. Half hour later Caleb @me: Little sister, you make a braised pork, then mix two cold dishes, hard work. Below message he sent a Venmo. Every time red packet only $6.6, he beautiful name said meaning six six big smooth. This time presumably also. I didn’t accept red packet. Also didn’t reply anyone’s message. After searching city info whole morning, I booked a cheapest train hard seat to Portland. Time set at 3 days later morning. Also used an afternoon time, wrote last letter to mom. Every write a word, kinship bond all couldn’t help let my nose sour. Dark, I fever again. Shrink in quilt shivering. Don’t know when, came door open sound. Then is a swarm of complain sound. “Why pitch black, Stella not at home?” “What time already, cold pot cold stove meal not made.” “What meaning ah? This is strike? Who provoked this grandaunt again.” Mom and stepdad came back. They three complain sound bigger. “Worked whole day, tired dead, back even a hot meal can’t eat!” “What meaning ah, don’t want cook just say clearly!” “Isn’t part of this family! Clearly is each do own duty matter, even a meal not make!” Brittany suddenly voice sharp, anger full: “Clothes not washed ah! Also underwear ah, one not washed!” “Underwear how can put so long time, will grow bacteria ah! Mom you say say your daughter ah, what exactly she mean ah!” “My this underwear new bought, $30 a pair only wore once, like this how I still wear ah.” Mom good voice good air comfort them: “Stella not intentional, maybe fever uncomfortable, I go look.” Stepdad also fake look fake appearance said: “Alright, all say few words.” Mom steps hurried walked into my narrow room. Turned on light, dazzling light instantly lit up whole dark room. I still dizzy lying on bed. “Stella what happen to you? Is uncomfortable?” Mom concern sound carried few points ask crime. Speaking she pulled open quilt over my head, very naturally reach hand test my forehead temperature. “Fever again, took medicine?” “Mm.” I faintly responded. Room door came Caleb complain sound: “Mom, what our family eat tonight ah, I about starve dead.” Just showed point concern to me mom, busy go coax him: “What you want eat, I make now.” Ashley mumble a sentence: “What time already, wait you make want eat at night ah.” Mom busy fawning propose: “How about our family go eat Hot Pot, didn’t you want eat hot pot two days ago? Today I treat.” This word out, home heavy atmosphere completely disappeared. Each happy up, couldn’t wait pull mom go restaurant. Stepdad fake asked a sentence: “Stella not go?” Brittany yin yang weird air said: “Isn’t she uncomfortable, fever people usually no appetite, if she want go eat hot pot then explain she is pretending.” So I again was left behind. Like an outsider, not suitable attend their family gathering. Tears again unpromising wet pillow. Brain will uncontrollably emerge, 10 years ago mom not remarried, she loved my look. That time she to me, was hold in palm afraid drop, hold in mouth afraid melt. I had to accept reality. She now already not my one person mom. When they ate full drank enough back, I hungry stomach pain, curled in quilt. Mom brought a cup of milk put my bedside table again, maybe afraid angry. She coax child like said: “Wait your illness good, I also take you eat hot pot.” Every time is wait wait wait. Ashley fed my bought dried strawberries to dog, she said next time buy for me. Brittany wore my skirt saved稿费 (royalties) long time bought, without a greeting on herself, she said next time buy for me. Caleb took my laptop bought for writing novel play game, she also said next time buy for me. But Mom, next time in your mouth, forever is a illusionary lie. I didn’t utter sound, she gratified across quilt touched my head: “Still biological good, can understand me, my Stella ah, really sensible.” She paused, feeling sighed: “Stepmom hard do ah, you can understand mom, I really very gratified.” But Mom how much you gratified, I have how much heart sour. Chapter 3 Sick for about 2 days, I finally better. Tomorrow going leave, looking at old and few clothes in closet. Suddenly found, I have no luggage to bring. Just happen also weekend, they didn’t work. In living room discuss Caleb marriage matter. I didn’t participate, also felt atmosphere heavy. Stepdad said: “New marriage house down payment at least need $300,000, me and your mom savings barely enough help you pay.” “Wedding gift $180,000, also three gold money, you are biological siblings, can help a hand still want help a hand.” Ashley first state: “My savings not much, only can out $20,000.” Brittany also unwilling said: “I also only have $20,000.” She suddenly towards my room deliberately raised volume: “Our family not have a writer ma, everyday crackle crackle knock keyboard at home, royalties definitely not few.” Her tone sarcasm full. Before said I idiot dream, earned royalties not enough eat shit also she. Mom believed her words, bitter mouth mother heart came my room wipe tears: “Stella, stepmom hard do, your big brother marry, me this stepmom definitely have to help, you are his sister, we all one family.” “Can you take point royalties out? Count I borrow yours also okay, okay?” She every time use my money help them three, all say borrow, but didn’t return once. “I no what royalties, a month just $2,000, and unstable not enough myself spend.” “Little sister, all one family, you don’t hide hide tuck tuck, I not believe you a month just $2,000, unless you show us account.” Ashley don’t know when leaning door window standing at door. Stepdad they all came, everyone eyes examining me. Mom to please them, face to face require me: “You show account to me.” To let them dead heart, I showed bank account and website account all to them. After they confirmed my royalties just this bit, each look me eyes overflowed contempt. Brittany yin yang weird air ridicule: “You no that ink water, still want eat writer this line rice, this not simply is day dream!” Anyway I tomorrow going completely leave, didn’t fight mouth war with her. They continued discuss Caleb wedding gift matter. Finally was my mom and stepdad decided loan $100,000, solve this matter. Then is three gold jewelry problem. Mom went cabinet took a 30g Gold Bangle left by my biological father before death. Also a 50g Small Gold Bar. Dad gave these to me time, that time I only 13, Mom said I age small, she help me save wait grow up return me. But now she said: “Take this go exchange new, now gold price expensive, buy now too not worth.” I instantly came fire, excited rushed over snatch: “This is my Dad left for me! You no right take my things give him!” Mom didn’t expect my reaction so big, unhappy scold me: “I later buy for you again, now your brother marry is urgent matter, also big matter!” She not return me, and directly handed to Caleb hand, instruct him: “Quick take exchange! Quick!” I rushed over to snatch, blocked dead by mom: “Stella Jiang, you understand point matter okay!” I completely collapsed, past grievance in a moment turned into anger, crying shouted at her: “You not their stepmom! You are my stepmom!” “I hate you, you today if gave things to him, you no me this daughter!” Mom stunned a bit, follow come is a heavy slap fanned on my face, and rage sound: “Roll! Roll out!” I no hesitation picked up laptop limped walked. Behind came her manipulate my voice: “Rolled, then forever don’t come back!” She didn’t know, I have this plan. Mom was at third day, didn’t hold breath called me. But respond her forever is power off prompt tone, she suddenly panicked. This time stepdad panic ran back: “Community gate a girl hit dead by car, can’t see face but a lame all say is Stella? You quick go look is it?”

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On set, the little assistant ordered the wrong meal again. I looked down, it was a bowl of Lobster Bisque. Just lifted the lid, a faint fishy smell rushed out. I just finished filming an Underwater Scene, body cold, stomach empty pain, but recognized it at a glance. “There is shellfish in this soup.” I looked up at her, “I’m allergic to shellfish.” She obviously stunned, then face turned pale. “Sorry, Winter, I forgot in a hurry.” This is the seventh time. … Chapter 1 First time, among a pile of sunglasses, picked a competitor’s brand for me, discovered by me urgently before event, almost flipped over. Second time, before walking Red Carpet, suddenly rushed out to adjust my dress, result low blood sugar fainted, hyped by media saying I mistreat employees. Third time, spilled coffee on a senior’s dress, while crying apologizing, while red eyes looking at me, senior face ugly, I apologized many times finally still carried “disrespect senior” black material. And like this time. She stood in place hesitated few seconds, eye rims slowly red. “Then you don’t eat, I eat this myself… deduct money from my salary.” I didn’t speak. $3,000 a month assistant salary, not enough to cover trouble she made. Seeing me silent, she anxious, head down fast typing phone. Few seconds later, she sighed relief, looked up showed me a fawning smile. “Sister, rest assured, Gavin said he come later, bring you food again.” I originally already turned, stopped steps after this sentence. Phone in pocket gently vibrated. [Gavin: My little princess angry?] [Gavin: I bring you your favorite Pumpkin Soup, don’t calculate with little girl, who haven’t made mistake.] [Gavin: Wait for hubby.] Tone familiar. Seems this kind of “cleanup”, he already very skilled. Summer, is Gavin’s early dead White Moonlight’s sister. Family average, education average, has some beauty. Graduation can’t find job, family want marry her to an old bachelor, exchange money for brother marry wife. Later, she found Gavin Chase. Then later, sent to my side by him, beautiful name “follow do chores”. But I know, little girl mind many, one heart want walk into “Hollywood”. Seeing me not speak, she hugged that box soup, small voice mumbled: “Waste food shameful, then only I solve myself.” I didn’t respond again, turned got on RV. Half hour later, Gavin finally arrived. I already took shower, drinking a cup ginseng tea. He saw me, no apology, open mouth actually help little girl fight injustice. “You ah, just bought wrong a meal, difficult a small assistant for what?” My throat tight: “I today for camera, didn’t eat whole day, just finished three underwater scenes, cold and hungry.” I looked at him. “Also, day after tomorrow I attend Golden Globe, if just ate that soup, face rash, edema, you think I still can attend event?” “Don’t you know this award meaning to me?” “That is first role I got after lying in bed one year rehab, is milestone I stand up again.” Gavin silent two seconds, tone finally soft down, he pinched my face. “Okay, my little princess, don’t angry.” He put food in front of me, handed spoon, stood behind me rub shoulder. Back then I for block falling steel frame for him smashed broken legs, he also so gentle took care me one year, wipe wash change clothes for me. Now, look like as usual considerate. I ate a mouthful rice, raised hand pointed coat on sofa. “This Haute Couture, didn’t you say help me pick from Paris? Why on her body?” His movement paused, subconsciously looked outside RV. “Why you took her clothes?” “Weather so cold, what if she sick? She birthday want a gift, I see she like this one very much, so gave her.” His tone matter of course. “You clothes so many, also can’t wear finish, reward little girl what problem?” I looked up at him. “Gavin Chase, I am your fiancée, not your private property.” “Take my things, shouldn’t you ask my opinion first?” She poor, is her business. Based on what I bear her life. Moreover, she has what worthy reward thing? He didn’t coax me, instead frowned, face full disapproval. “Winter, this clothes I bought.” “Even give you, that is also money I spent, who I want give, is my freedom.” That moment, my throat like blocked by something. Clearly when engaged, was him said, every day he is here, don’t want me spend a cent myself, expensive to jewelry, cheap to a pair socks, all want him pay. Now only how long, start divide so clear. He saw my eye rims red, finally still soft hearted, hugged me. “Winter, blame me.” “Don’t calculate with Summer, her sister back in school, was only one didn’t bully me, I just want repay kindness.” This words hearing ears grow callus. “You want repay kindness, take her to your company, be assistant for you, I here can’t afford!” Half hour ago, I already notified agent, fire Summer. Now, she should already know. Sure enough, outside RV came her out of control crying sound. Gavin went out a trip, came back face worse. “She just want a job, live well!” “You use ‘incompetent’ this reason fire her, isn’t want cut her road? This bit tea pouring water work, what incompetent!” This is second time, for this assistant, fire at me. I like pushed into ice water again, trembling all over. “Gavin Chase, you for an outsider, quarrel with me?” He didn’t answer. Just grabbed that coat, head not back rushed out. Chapter 2 Summer was coaxed well. Not only that, Gavin even used resources, directly arranged a female number five role for her in my drama. When he settled all this, I was lying in hotel alone with fever, legs suffered cold move a bit like needle pricking pain. Past broken leg fear surged heart. I put down all pride, called him three times, but all stone sink ocean. Later, I muddle headed lay on bed, couldn’t figure out where we exactly went wrong. 2 AM, door pushed open. Gavin came back, body carrying faint flower scent, mood obviously very good. He haven’t time walk to my side, outside rang gentle knock door sound again. “Gavin brother, I think still want say clear with you, I really don’t need you special care, I can self reliance, I not afraid eat bitter.” “Also, this clothes… I really can’t want.” In tone, hide not住 (can’t hide) grievance. “You said as birthday gift give me before, I really very happy, just didn’t expect provoke Sister unhappy, she angry fired me… I suffer bit grievance okay, but I don’t want implicate you scolded.” Gavin voice obviously soft down, carrying unabashed heartache. “Things sent out, where have reason take back.” “Just now didn’t agree well? Since she not let you be assistant, you also like acting, then go be actor, I invest for you, pave road for you, you peace mind act, don’t think much.” Summer lifted head, eye rims red, but still stubbornly stiff neck. “Thank you Gavin brother, career I will hard work, but this clothes since is Sister’s, better return her… later still in one crew, I don’t want be targeted again.” Gavin silent few seconds. “Summer, don’t be silly.” “True climb up, is learn borrow force, not guard useless backbone, Winter seniority deep, acting good, you learn more from her, accumulate more resources.” “As for these clothes, she has plenty, just angry with me, you rest assured wear.” He paused, added a sentence: “Actor needs packaging, that card I gave you, rest assured swipe, buy more decent clothes.” Voice fell, he pulled that coat from her arms, gently draped on her. “Wear it, don’t catch cold.” I closed eyes, but heard clear clear. That clothes, should be Red Carpet dress prepared for me. Door closed. Gavin turned, met my gaze, obviously stunned. “Awake?” I didn’t speak, just quietly looked at him. He like realized something, explained matter of course. “Little girl condition not bad, eat this bowl rice not loss, later you bring her more, also count repay kindness for me.” Tone gentle like discussing a most ordinary small matter. “I explained clear with you, later don’t random jealous, I am innocent.” I suddenly felt bit absurd. “I never heard want repay kindness like this, don’t know thought she saved your life.” “Enough, Winter! You now already jealous to can’t tolerate a person long died?” I roared bit dumb. Although long knew that girl is taboo, but him so angry never had. This period he unusually busy. We haven’t seen for half month, this time if not Summer, I even may not see his face. I wanted say something, but itch surging in throat let me finally closed mouth. Three days later, I finished event, back to crew again. Just arrived set, saw Summer. She wearing a set red tight dress, standing there, expression public. I looked down at Flying Pages (last minute script) sent, only felt absurd, drama about to finish, actually added dozens scenes for a zero experience newcomer alone. “Congrats Sister winning award.” She looked at me smiled obedient, “Later still need guide me more ya.” I already changed costume, feet wearing props high heels poked with nails, stood long feet bottom pain. “I can’t teach you, change person.” I sideways want go, but grabbed by her. “Sister, do you look down on us non-professional background people?” I looked up at her. She like long prepared this set rhetoric, word by word, said extra loud. “I don’t want be misunderstood.” “Don’t want be said rely on man canary.” “Me and Gavin brother are innocent, you no need use fire, report this way deal with me.” “Since you so mind, better we fair compete once, see who more brilliant in this drama.” I almost unstable. “Your business irrelevant to me, I also don’t want participate this childish game.” Summer gently laughed once. “Sister, always like this high above?” “You never lived bitter days, simply don’t know what called true embarrassed.” “Distress in drama, you can’t act out.” “But I can.” “This time, I definitely will shine.” Chapter 3 Before official shooting, director found me. “Today this scene heavier.” He said vague, eyes full helpless, “Investor named, hard work you cooperate.” I swept a glance. [Heroine forced to desperate situation, hysterical quarrel with villain, in panic slapped by villain.] Scene not long, all Summer highlight scene. I haven’t opened mouth, she already stood opposite me, smiled obedient and docile. “Sister, I first time shoot this emotion scene, maybe want more takes, you bear more.” She said so mouth, eyes however no half apology. Take One. “Action.” She raised hand, slap fell. Slap. Sound crisp. I stunned a moment. This hit, usually is borrow force plus position, simply won’t really hand on. Director didn’t shout cut. She however low voice sucked breath, eye rims rapidly red, then interrupted shooting. “Sorry director, I just didn’t find right state.” Take Two. This time, she hand heavier. Slap. My tongue tip hit teeth, blood taste spread in mouth. Director frowned, but still didn’t call stop. “Another one.” Take Three, Take Four. She every time said self “emotion not in place”, or not walk down scene. Every time, hand fell harder than previous. My cheek start numb, ear buzz ringing. People around start exchange eyes, whole set incomparable quiet, but no one speak. She is “Newcomer”, is “One being taken care”. And I, am “Senior”, am “Should endure” that one. Take Five. Moment she raised hand, I finally couldn’t hold. A grab her wrist, backhand! Slap. This slap, solid solid. Someone on set emit a exclaim. She whole person trend fell back, arm heavy hit metal edge of prop cabinet. “Ah!” Blood, immediately gushed out. Summer fell sit on ground, only stunned a second, immediately burst cry. “Sister… you no need so target me right…” “I just newcomer, those all script arrangement, I just want good act that’s all…” “You even dislike me, also no need down so heavy hand ah…” Crying sound echoed in studio. I stood in place, palm still numb. Director finally reacted, shouted cut. Someone rushed over help her, someone call medic. That night, this video cut head cut tail sent on Trending. [Post-award Set Out of Control, Violent Beating Newcomer Actor] Video no background sound. Only my that slap, and picture she fell crying. Comment section one side fall. [Winter Leigh just got few awards what so cow, just bully people like this?] [Heard that newcomer was her assistant before, long term bullied by her, this time chance appear same scene, must be provoked Winter unhappy, so take chance suppress!] [Last time exposed Winter mistreat assistant, let people faint on red carpet! Turns out previous bad person acted so good, all true color act ah!] All old debts, dug out in a brain. I just prepared post statement, agent haven’t finished typing, door pushed open. Gavin face ugly. “Winter are you crazy?” He grabbed my arm, hand strength big, pinched me very pain. “Filming only, you as to down so ruthless hand? Little girl arm almost disfigured, do you know?” I didn’t speak. Just slowly moved ice bag on face away. Swollen cheek exposed under light. He stunned a bit. Tone finally slow down. “…She is newcomer, don’t know measure.” “You are senior, can’t you let a bit?” I laughed once. “I still want how let, send this side face up let her slap happy?” I put tablet on table, click open a folder. “This is set complete surveillance.” “I long let people backup.” Picture clear, timeline complete. Gavin face changed. “Can’t post!” He immediately reach hand press screen. “She just entered industry, you release this, her whole life ruined.” “Not debut yet bully senior, to a newcomer is fatal.” I looked at him, suddenly felt very strange. “Then me?” He opened mouth. I continue say: “I deserve be beaten, be scolded, be buckled all dirty water?” I took back tablet. “I not only want post, also want break up with you, since I already not your first choice, we no need together.” “What nonsense you talking?” He anxious, come up want grab my hand again, slapped away by me. “You now eyes, heart simply no me, I injured bullied, you actually still stand on side hurting me, I not masochist.” He just about say more what, exclusive Summer phone ringtone, however suddenly rang. He picked up phone. Only listened two sentences, face instantly changed. “What you said?” “…Summer pregnant?”

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A beautiful new transfer student came to our class, Threatening to sleep with my childhood sweetheart within three months. Xander Sterling said with a cold face she was delusional, turned and held my hand tightly acting spoiled: “Since childhood, who doesn’t know I am yours.” “Said before give me title after graduation, really can’t advance?” Transfer student vigorously chased until winter break, Xander didn’t give her a good face. Until a gathering before school started, Xander got drunk, I took him home. He mumbled my name all the way. My heart moved, prepared to secretly kiss him. This counts as my first kiss. Just touched his lips, he buckled my waist, voice hoarse: “Baby, so reserved this time?” “Not French Kiss anymore?” I froze in place.

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After the breakup, my ex still wouldn’t give up: [Let’s meet offline.] [We must meet once before Winter Break, before Christmas.] [I know you have time.] Nursing a drunk head, I subconsciously replied: [Sorry, I don’t reheat old pizza.] At the same time, a sentence popped up in the dialog box. [Your thesis requires more than just online comments to fix.] Holy cow! I scrambled to retract the message. The dialog box showed “Typing…” Pierce Sterling’s message jumped into my eyes again: [Serena Ji, did you forget that I am still your thesis advisor?] I went completely numb. Chapter 1 At the class reunion today, I drank a bit too much. When I received Pierce’s message, I really thought he was begging me to get back together. So much so that I forgot that the youngest Economics Professor at Harvard, my graduation thesis advisor, is actually my ex-boyfriend. My roommate Hannah leaned her head over and saw the lit-up phone screen. “Tsk, does Professor Sterling always speak so gently?” “Reading the first three sentences, I thought he was going to confess his love to you.” “But that last sentence… hey hey, that’s a death plot twist.” Back then, Pierce and I were in a long-distance relationship, so no one had seen what my boyfriend looked like. I asked Hannah: “How do you guys usually reply to an advisor’s text?” Hannah mimicked a serious tone: “Okay, Professor, please set a time.” Fine. I followed Hannah’s tone and replied to the message. Just as I was about to lift my wine glass to continue drinking, Hannah pressed my hand down. “I haven’t finished yet. Is the reason you rejected Leo really because you can’t forget your ex?” Leo is a first-year grad student senior at our school. Excellent grades, talented, and good-looking, but I gave him the “nice guy card” and rejected him. The female classmates were all very surprised. “Was your long-distance ex really that good?” I smiled, “Really too good. Old money family, top scholar, basically the standard male lead in a novel.” Someone spoke too fast: “Then why did you break up?” I downed a mouthful of wine, “He died.” My phone vibrated. The screen displayed Pierce’s message. [Come over anytime, I’m always here.] Damn it, how did the corpse revive? Chapter 2 Pierce and I were childhood sweethearts. He is three years older than me. Since he was small, he was the most shining existence—winning Math Olympiad awards, skipping grades, studying abroad, everything was smooth sailing. The only obstacle in his life was probably me. I knew since I was small that Pierce and I had an engagement. Just as I became an adult, we naturally got together. Although it was long-distance, our feelings were very good. Until my junior year, when I was discovered to be the fake heiress. The true heiress was soon taken back home. I fell into the mud overnight. My biological father is a gambling addict. When my mother resisted his domestic violence, she was beaten by him into a vegetative state. He came out of prison and found my foster parents. He made a scene, saying that because they took the wrong child, they let me and him—flesh and blood—be separated for so many years. My foster parents gave him a sum of money and also pushed me out. The gambling addict took the money and went to the casino even more often, owing even more debt. Debt collectors would come to school to block me, forcing me to repay the money for him. My foster parents no longer cared about me, not even answering the phone. At that time, the only person standing by my side was Pierce. He paid my tuition, found a lawyer to handle my biological father’s lawsuit, and helped me mediate between my foster parents. Gifts drifted across the sea, and punctual “love takeout” meals were delivered to my dorm, just to let me live a little better. When he returned to the country for the holidays, I hugged him and cried, asking him why he treated me so well. But he just kissed me: “Silly melon, if I don’t treat you well, who else would I treat well?” “In another two years, when you graduate from university, we’ll get married.” I was naive back then. I always thought love could withstand ten thousand difficulties. Until Pierce’s mother found me and told me the two families’ engagement wouldn’t change. Except, the bride was changed to the true heiress, Giselle Ji. She said: “Serena, I watched you grow up. You are smart and pretty.” “In the past, I wouldn’t have been willing to break you guys up.” “But in our circle, marriage is an alliance of interests.” “Pierce wants to return to the country soon to take over the company. I can’t let people know he has you as a weakness, a handle for others to pinch.” “Although you are not a Ji family person, the Ji family raised you for so many years. You should always do something for them.” “So, Serena, think it over carefully.” I called Pierce on a cross-ocean phone call. “Pierce, let’s break up?” It was a question, not a statement. I thought, even if I wanted to break up, I should get his consent. In this unequal relationship, he paid more for me. It was me always dragging him down. I was very tired. I don’t know, in his days in a foreign land, did he also feel tired in the silent late nights? Pierce’s anger, which he couldn’t cover, came from the other end of the phone. “Break up? Don’t even think about it.” Chapter 3 The next night, while I was packing my luggage in the apartment, Pierce came back. Having sat on a plane for over ten hours, his face looked terrible. “What did my mom say to you?” Tears blurred my eyes, and my voice was trembling. He looked me in the face. “Don’t care what she said. Wait for me to graduate and return, and we will get married.” I was stunned and opened my mouth: “The engagement is between the Sterling and Ji families. I am no longer…” “I don’t care.” Pierce interrupted me, his voice choking. “You are just you. I like you, I care about you, and I won’t abandon you. Do you understand?” I didn’t dare to speak. “Serena,” he cupped my face, “Do you still love me?” I nodded. “That’s good.” He sighed in relief, “As long as you still love me, we won’t separate, okay?” His kiss fell on the center of my brow. I choked out: “Okay.” Can love withstand ten thousand difficulties? No, it can’t. If it could, the world wouldn’t have suffering. After that day, Pierce stayed in the country and accompanied me for a period of time. We lived together in an apartment near the school. We were like many ordinary couples, snuggled in a not-too-big, not-too-small nest. If there were no accidents, this kind of sweetness would have lasted a very long time. But an accident soon happened. My gambling addict father blocked me at the apartment door again, demanding money. To protect me, Pierce was stabbed by him. When he was lying in the hospital, Pierce’s mother and my foster parents all arrived. My foster mother’s slap hit my face heavily, and my ears buzzed. The eyes they looked at me with were contemptuous and disdainful. They also said many ugly words, so ugly that I don’t want to recall them a bit. Just like the past twenty years, the love they poured on me disappeared in that instant. I couldn’t stand it. If I were the only one bearing this, maybe it wouldn’t be so painful. But, I was tightly bound by self-blame, guilt, and helplessness. Based on what right did I implicate Pierce lying in the hospital? Just because he loves me? Should the person who loves me be dragged into the mud by me to bear pain? I was tired, really very tired. So, when Pierce was sent to Philadelphia to continue treatment, I called him and broke up. This time, he had no way to sit on a plane for more than ten hours to rush over. My tears kept falling, crying until I couldn’t speak words. Pierce nearly begged me: “Can you wait for me another year? Just one year, wait for me to graduate and return.” “Can you wait for me again?” Wait another year, what would change? I wiped my tears. “Pierce.” “I’m tired.” He was silent for a very long time. Finally, he opened his mouth, his voice hoarse: “Based on what right do you get to give up first?” “What qualification do you have to give up on me first?” Even though we were finally speechless, neither of us could bear to hang up the phone. Until the phone battery ran out. Chapter 4 I drank the wine too fast, and I really couldn’t handle it. Thinking about meeting Pierce, ten thousand emotions surged in my heart. I squatted by the side of the main road, crying continuously. Hannah passed me a tissue. “Sigh, if I knew earlier your ex died, I shouldn’t have mentioned this tonight.” My stomach was churning like overturning seas and rivers; I turned my head and vomited. Hannah patted my back, “I’ll go to the nearby pharmacy to buy some hangover medicine for you.” Actually, just after we broke up, Pierce sent me many messages. Gifts drifted across the sea, and holiday “love takeout” didn’t miss a single one. Later I got annoyed and thought of a crude method. I posted an AI-synthesized intimate photo to Instagram, officially announcing a new relationship. He never sent me a message again. Even after Pierce became my advisor, we always communicated via email. I sent the thesis to him, he annotated it and sent it back to me. He looked down on me a bit. This was mainly embodied in the thesis comments he wrote to me: [Where is the innovation point of your thesis? Is this thing from Wish.com? Pieced together.] [Very niche sentence structure, makes zero sense.] [Did I teach you your modeling? Don’t let people know you are my student, it’s quite shameful.] [Rewrite everything according to comments.] Every word was written with dissatisfaction toward me. To meet him alone, I was scared in my heart. Taking advantage of no one being around, I opened my Reddit alter ego account and posted a message: [Help! Broke up with my ex-boyfriend, he should hate me quite a bit. But he is now my graduation thesis advisor, and I still have to take my broken thesis to meet him. What do I do? Online waiting, urgent.] Netizens’ comments were various. [See, the person who hates you will find a thousand ways and a hundred plans to become your advisor, then abuse you to death.] [Is it sadistic deep love or a horror story? Only meeting him will tell. But I guess, high probability it’s a horror story.] [As everyone knows, for undergraduate graduation theses, teachers choose students. He just intentionally chose you. Careful he doesn’t delay your graduation. My words are put here.] [Wish you 99 (forever).] Does Pierce just hate me that much? Does he actually want to make me delay graduation by being my advisor? That’s too vicious! An Anonymous User with a black avatar comforted me: [Don’t listen to their nonsense. He just feels your thesis is written rottenly. Normal work process.] The thesis I wrote is rotten? Those nights I turned over JSTOR and stayed up, the hair lost modeling, the ten thousand words I wrote—are they really so rotten? I am, anyhow, a person who got a first-class scholarship. [Sister, I suggest you act spoiled, act cute, be an academic gold digger. Let your ex-boyfriend fix your thesis well for you, fix it to death. Best if later he publishes in an academic journal, he brings your name as author.] This idea actually wasn’t bad; at least it wouldn’t let me delay graduation. But recalling Pierce, that living monk who sits still and doesn’t mess around… Even if I stripped and stood in front of him, he could put my clothes back on piece by piece. I was still staring at the phone screen in a daze when a car light shone on me. The person in the driver’s seat opened the door, came down, and walked in front of me. A black coat set off his skin color very white. He just looked at me faintly but didn’t open his mouth to speak. Light shone on him. He stood there, doing nothing, just very good-looking. I stood up, took one step, and hugged his waist. Then, with a fawning face, I looked up at him. “Pierce, it’s you.” “Quick, hug me.”

In my previous life, on the eve of marrying a wealthy heir. Under my cousin’s instigation, I got carried away, demanding this and that from the groom’s family, even demanding the second child take my last name. The groom’s family couldn’t stand it and called off the wedding. Spurned by everyone, I could only go to my cousin to pour out my heart. But accidentally heard my cousin say: “Deserve it! With her conditions, nothing compares to me, based on what can she marry a rich heir?” “I didn’t do anything, I just lightly provoked a few sentences, she cooperated to seek death herself…” Learning the truth, I was so angry I committed suicide. Opening my eyes again, I was reborn to the day I was instigated by my cousin. Chapter 1 “Sarah, you must listen to me, their family simply looks down on you!” “If you don’t give them a show of strength now, you will suffer after marrying in!” “Rest assured, we have so many relatives here to back you up, what are you afraid of?” Cousin Heather’s voice rang in my ear. But I broke out in cold sweat all over. Didn’t I die? How can I still hear her voice? Could it be, I was reborn? Chapter 2 I grew up poor. Because my dad is a foolishly filial person. He is the eldest in the family, back then my dad should have taken over grandpa’s job, but uncle cried two made noise three hung himself, my dad gave the job to him. When young I didn’t feel anything. Just envied cousin Heather had endless beautiful clothes since childhood, endless toys, piano to play. And relatives obviously more enthusiastic to cousin than to me. But when grew up, this difference became obvious. Cousin didn’t study well, uncle and aunt sent her abroad to mix a degree. Cousin just returned from studying abroad, their family bought her house and car in our county town. Also pulled strings for her to be a music teacher in a private school in our county. Honestly I was very envious of these in my heart. Because I still live with my parents, living in an old walk-up apartment from decades ago. As for having my own house and car, that is something I dare not even think about. So in my heart, I felt although cousin was a bit arrogant, it was understandable, after all she had house, car, confidence, capital to be arrogant. And me, only place stronger than her probably is passing the civil service exam, got a Government Job. In other places might feel nothing, but in our small town, this is the iron rice bowl. Put it this way, in elders’ eyes, even if you earn millions a year, it’s not as good as holding that few thousand dollars dead salary of government job. After getting government job, because I work relatively serious and responsible, personality also good, I got lucky again. Our unit head introduced his comrade’s child to me——blind date Connor, a wealthy heir. Of course definitely can’t compare with those New York listed company heirs. But in our small county town also a person with face. Connor’s dad and our unit head have iron relationship. And his mom is principal of a key high school here, name is household known. And Connor’s grandpa is in business, doing heating business in city, I don’t quite understand, but know enterprise very big very profitable. As for his grandpa, opened a private dental clinic here, specialized in children teeth correction, is a dental clinic parents here relatively recognize. And Connor himself condition also not bad, working as pediatrician in county hospital, personality gentle emotion stable. Connor parents both single children, Connor is their only child, degree of spoiling no need me say more. Can say, finding such a partner is blessing I got from eight lifetimes. If not our unit head pulling strings, I might not even have chance to know this kind of person. And after dating Connor, not only my living standard straight line rose, even unit colleagues attitude to me also became more gentle. Because all know I found a wealthy heir, still unit boss pulled string, no one would be full to trouble me. That time I really like fell into honey pot. But previous life I didn’t cherish. Maybe because family poor since small some inferior, suddenly got such good luck, bit not quite confident. Plus that time I relatively worshipped cousin, felt she saw much knowledge wide, told her about dating, said my confusion. And after listening me finish, cousin expression obviously stiffened a bit. Then said: “Sarah, I feel marriage still matching door matching household good, your family condition so bad, won’t be looked down by their family right?” “You think, when you gather together, his parents talk about politics, your parents talk about workshop gossip, can they have common language?” “And rich people relatively hard to get along, definitely will various look down on you target you, you willing suffer this anger lifetime?” I heard then heart thumped a bit. Because I indeed have this worry. After all two families gap really too big. Then since then, not much contact cousin suddenly enthusiastic up, time to time send me message. Today say you don’t put posture too low, go his house just sit don’t do anything, otherwise later married you have work to do! Tomorrow say why partner New Year not accompany you? Such important holiday miss he just no heart. Day after tomorrow say I feel their family look down on you? Otherwise why only give you money? Feel like smashing people with money? Isn’t this insulting people? I also don’t know what happened, said by her psychology slowly changed, got carried away, started be awkward. When talking marriage with Connor, demands changed again and again. Today dislike wedding photos taken in Cleveland not high class enough, want go New York or Paris retake. Tomorrow demand their family buy me a Porsche, must be Cayenne! Finally, eve of engagement, I think my brain that time should really flooded by sea, actually demanded later have a child take my last name! This directly touched opponent parents’ bottom line. My parents knew angry scolded me crazy, asked if my heart covered by lard? Nothing find trouble? I now think yes, my family poor like this child take my last name for what? Inherit my family that old broken small apartment? However that time I like possessed. Who persuade also not listen! Feel you not agree is not love me, your family just look down on me, look down on our family! Now like this then later what? I started put high posture, cold violence Connor, not answer phone not reply text not meet. Later, groom family patience ran out. Wedding directly cancelled. Chapter 3 Small county town just this big, wedding cancel reason at once spread whole county. I became county celebrity, of course, is bad name spread far that kind. My situation in unit also sky flip earth over. Not only colleagues discuss me, originally gentle to me unit head also cold to me, even publicly said I not know lift. People below of course also see wind steer rudder, start various make difficult for me, career no need think. More terrible is since then no one introduce partner to me, all say my eyes high, love seek death, say my family sell daughter. Including my parents, also everyday at home various scold me seek death. My dad even angry by me directly brain stroke hospitalized. I that time depressed extreme, anxious every night can’t sleep. Went find cousin want chat with her, feel only she can understand me, can enlighten me. But didn’t think arrived her home I heard outside door she calling someone. “Hehe, that idiot, really thought self can fly on branch become phoenix? Actually I didn’t do anything, just provoked few sentences she got carried away, felt other party must marry her.” “She also not think, just her looks, just her broken family condition, if not government job bonus, people can fancy her?” “Besides based on what? I look prettier than her, family condition better than her, based on what good partner I can’t find let her find?” “She now became rat crossing street everyone shout beat! Deserve! Who let her no princess life, but got princess sickness, heart higher than sky fate thinner than paper, seeing her like this I too happy! Tonight must good celebrate!” I outside listening like being five thunders bang top. Turns out, from beginning cousin so-called good to me is a trap! Turns out, from beginning she saved thought to ruin my marriage. I angry a foot kicked open door wanted argue with her. But was more cold mockery hot satire by her. Nothing more than what myself no opinion, climb high branch fail blame others these words. Angry me can’t think open directly jumped river suicide. Chapter 4 I didn’t expect I actually would rebirth. I deep breath, forced myself calm down. And at this time cousin Heather spitting flying brainwashing me. “Their family condition so good, buy you a Mercedes what wrong? This is respect to you.” “C-Class no good, grade too low, at least must be G-Wagon right?” “And can’t loan, must full payment!” Correct, previous life I just now listened cousin words, noisy find Connor buy me Mercedes. Originally his parents impression on me not bad, just from here is a turning point. Although their family finally bought me a Mercedes, but his parents attitude to me became alienated. No longer Sarah, Sarah call, but became full name. Use his mom words say is we can give, you can’t ask, you active ask this nature different. Thinking here, I lowered eyes, said: “This demand not good right?” Cousin a look hate iron not become steel said: “Baby, you have to be confident to yourself know?” “You are government employee! Do you know government employee how valuable? I tell you, your position at least worth $500,000! Ask his family a car what wrong?” “Whose family marry wife no spend money? Besides his family not no this condition, you say if man family no this condition I also not say what, this not have ma? Then buy or not is attitude problem!” “You must persist can’t compromise, now compromise later have you suffer!” I heart cold sneer. Previous life I under her flattery really felt self very valuable. Government employee ne! How awesome? How rare? But didn’t think I ignored a thing, that is government employees everywhere, rich heirs not many! Especially small county town, male more female less. Because boys usually struggle in big cities. Girls usually think close home test system. So gender ratio serious imbalance. Plus female government employees choose usually male government employees or family business rich heirs. However male government employees have considerable part diverted by female teachers. So female government employees selectable room really not much. After all a county town can have how many rich heirs? Like Connor family this kind condition extreme superior, self also strive, really one hand can count. So Connor find partner want find government employee, that really can casually pick! I count as what? If not touched light of unit head and his dad are comrades, I think don’t think! But pity, that time me not think so. I really agitated by cousin. Felt self look good excellent work good, really too cheap their family! My that self-esteem about native family poor came up again. Started crazy seek death road. Can only say my family ancestral grave originally want smoke blue smoke, but didn’t think extinguished by me a basin water. See me no reaction, cousin somewhat unhappy, pushed my arm again: “Sarah, why you not speak? My words you listened in? If you not fight, their family later definitely bully you!” “I also for your good! You must not confuse!” I lifted eyes look her, that face seemingly concern actually calculation, let my stomach a burst churn. Previous life, just because her instigation, my life all ruined. Thinking here, I heart cold sneer once. This time, I won’t let her control my life again. I gently pushed away her hand, tone calm let her stunned: “Cousin, my marriage I self will handle, not trouble you worry.” Cousin obviously didn’t expect I would say so, she stunned a bit, immediately frown: “Sarah, what happen to you? I am for your good!” “Only we are own family, otherwise others won’t say these words to you, who also don’t want offend people right?” She looking me, face full hate iron not become steel expression. I faintly smile: “Is it? Then I really too thank you. But I think, me and their family matter, still we self talk better.” “After all human heart separate belly, who knows some people heart think what?” “Maybe is jealous me so intentional instigate, ah, Cousin you wouldn’t be also jealous I found such good partner right?” I directly asked out, then carefully observe her expression.

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I am a Transmigrator, my mission is to marry Julian Hale. But the Hale Family Trust has a clause: only by giving birth to a son can one marry into the Hale family. In six years, I was pregnant nine times, every time a girl. So every child stayed in my belly for less than six months, before I was dragged to terminate. When I was pregnant with the tenth child, a nurse whispered congratulations to me, saying it was a boy. I excitedly went to find Julian to tell him the good news, but overheard his conversation with the doctor. “You want to lie to Miss Elena again that it’s a girl, and make her abort it?” “But Elena has already aborted nine times, now her uterus is as thin as a piece of paper. Another abortion, not only will she be infertile for life, but she might also die from massive hemorrhage!” Julian’s voice was ice cold: “Rest assured, she has a Fertility System, even pregnant a hundred times she will be fine.” “But Giselle only has this one chance to take charge of the family. I won’t allow anyone to threaten her position. When Giselle becomes the Head of the Family Trust, I will compensate Elena.” I then realized, it turns out my nine dead children, were all boys. Julian didn’t know, although I have a Fertility System, the system only gave me ten chances to get pregnant. If this time I still can’t give birth to a son and marry him, I will be Erased. So when the System asked me how I wanted to die, I told it: “Let me die on the operating table where my child is aborted.” I want Julian to regret for a lifetime. … Chapter 1 Even though Dr. Carter and Julian are friends for years, at this moment he also began to fight injustice for me. “But don’t you think this is unfair to Elena? With my understanding of Elena, if you say you want to wait for your sister-in-law to take charge before having children and marrying, she will definitely agree!” “I know.” Julian’s voice was a bit muffled, “But I can’t gamble.” “You should know how much power the Head of the Family Trust has in the Hale family. Elena for being with me, even abandoned her biological parents. How can I believe she won’t secretly give birth to my child for the position of Family Head.” Hearing this, my heart went cold. I am a Transmigrator. As long as I can marry Julian, the seriously ill me in the original world can be cured. But I didn’t expect I would fall in love with Julian. On the first day with him, I confessed everything. I told him, even if the mission is completed, I won’t leave him. Result my confession in his eyes became ulterior motives, and also became the sharp blade that killed my nine children. Dr. Carter was even more puzzled, “Even if you think her having a child will threaten your sister-in-law taking charge, you can’t let her get pregnant one after another like this. Clearly gender can be checked at three or four months, why do you always drag it to six months?” “A six-month-old child is already formed, can’t abort only induce labor, some even cry when born… Even if she has a Fertility System, the damage to the body is irreversible. How can you have the heart!” Because of his words, my nose soured, tearing pain seemed to still linger below, and the child’s cry rang in my ears. My heart felt like being fiercely pinched by someone, the whole person in agony. Julian wasn’t any better than me, “Every time seeing those children, I am also in pain.” “But there is no way, I must drag to such a big month. Jerry (Giselle’s son) has heart problem, a doctor said, as long as use six-month-old fetus heart for medicine…” Dr. Carter instantly raged, “What do you mean? Those children, you didn’t dissect their hearts, then give to your nephew as medicine right? Julian are you still human!” And I after hearing these words, uncontrollably legs went soft, body leaned forward hit the door, making a huge noise. At this time, two people inside simultaneously went silent. Before Julian found me, I almost rolled and crawled back to the ward. Lying on bed, my whole body couldn’t stop trembling, tears uncontrollably flowed down. No wonder Julian often persuaded me not to think about those induced fetuses. He said as long as not full term, they don’t count as our children. I thought he was comforting me. Turns out in his eyes, these children don’t even count as life, just medicine for his sister-in-law’s son. When Julian came back, I already wiped dry tears. He tightly hugged me, voice heavy, “Elena, this time in your belly is a girl again, abort it, I already let doctor prepare.” “Julian.” I looked up at him, tried hard to make my voice sound normal, “I want to give birth to this child.” Julian turned pale with fright, “Are you crazy, only giving birth to a son can you marry me.” Hale family genes are special. If it’s a boy in belly, born with super high IQ, appearance off the charts. If it’s a girl, born can’t live past three days. Because there were too many examples, so Hale family had an unwritten family rule. Anyone wants to marry into Hale family, must first give birth to a healthy boy. Also for this reason, women marrying into Hale family have high status. Not only can get large shares, even the Family Head, is also selected from women. My silence made Julian detect a trace of abnormality, “Elena, do you know something?” A voice in my heart told me, must hide it, so my child still has a glimmer of life. So I told him: “Nothing, I just feel a bit reluctant.” My appearance was too pitiful, Julian embraced me into arms, “Don’t be sad Elena, we are still young, I promise you, next one definitely is a boy.” He didn’t know, there is no next one. If this time still can’t marry him, my body in this world will be erased. I can die, but the child is innocent, I must let him live. So when nurse came to pick me up for surgery, I excused to go to restroom. Arrived restroom, I took out jewelry on body, exchanged a set of clothes and some cash with a lady inside. I prepared to run. System advised me think again, “Actually Julian still loves you. If you talk well with him, maybe he will let you give birth to this child and marry you.” If I didn’t hear Julian’s those words, maybe I would fight for it one more time. But so many years, as long as related to his sister-in-law, I never won. When just together with Julian, I found he was extra attentive to his sister-in-law Giselle. As long as go out with me, whatever I fancied, he would buy two portions, one for me, the other for Giselle. Even Valentine’s Day, he would prepare an extra gift and flowers, personally send to Giselle. I made a big scene because of jealousy. Julian helplessly told me, “Elena, don’t think too much, I love is you. For sister-in-law, I just want to atone.” I then knew, Julian’s big brother died long ago. Reason for death was that day Julian had a quarrel with his big brother. His big brother angry drank few more cups, result drunk driving car accident on way back. So many years, Julian always thought he killed his own big brother, took the heavy responsibility of taking care of Giselle and her son onto his own shoulders. Before I only felt Julian values emotion and righteousness. Today I discovered, his guilt towards his sister-in-law already reached a perverted level. Don’t say for sister-in-law let me pregnant nine children to cure her son, even if digging my heart, afraid he can do it. I knew Julian would definitely find me, but didn’t expect so fast. I haven’t even left hospital, just hailed a taxi, was grabbed by wrist by him. I looked back, Julian spoke. “Elena, where are you going?” Not wait me speak, he already reacted, face instantly white. “Just now person outside door was you, you heard it!” I thought Julian knowing I heard everything would at least feel guilty. But after he dragged me all way back to ward, actually didn’t even pretend anymore. “Elena, since you already know all truth, then you should also understand my difficulties. Sister-in-law is going to take charge tomorrow. After receiving the seal, she still has a one-year probation period, so the child in your belly can’t stay.” His gaze cruelly swept over my belly, “So later you go do abortion surgery, I will let doctor give you more anesthesia, you won’t feel pain.” I bit lip, “I don’t want.” “Elena, what do you want to do!” Julian somewhat angry, after touching my gaze, tone softened again. He fiercely hugged me, “Elena, I know you angry at me, previously nine children aborted without discussing with you. But sister-in-law they really very pitiful, especially Jerry, his illness, only lack this last heart…” “He pitiful, am I not pitiful?” I unbearable, directly broke free his embrace, “Julian, I don’t know if Jerry will die without this child, but I can tell you, if I don’t give birth to this child, I will die, you still let me do surgery?” Julian dumbfounded, “What meaning?” I thought of System’s words, prepared to gamble last time. I directly knelt down to Julian, “Julian, I only have ten pregnancy chances. If this time still can’t give birth to child, I will be erased.” “I know what you worry about, but rest assured, I absolutely won’t fight for any Family Head position with Giselle. If you afraid this child cause trouble, you just say to outside it’s a daughter. After born, we directly give away.” “Jerry’s illness I can also cure. As long as I complete mission, System will give me reward, that time I can use all to treat Jerry.” I cried miserably, fiercely kowtowed few times to Julian. Finally, Julian eyes appeared a trace hesitation, his lips slightly moved: “Since like this, then…” Result he haven’t finished words, outside door came a familiar female voice. “Julian, what are you guys doing?” I looked up. Giselle came. Julian ran to her side, “Sister-in-law, why you and Jerry came hospital, is Jerry body have problem?” Listening to such concerned tone, my heart cut like knife. How could I think before his feeling to this pair mother son is responsibility. Giselle told him no, she heard I here for checkup, so thought to come see. Finished, she asked him what happened just now. Seeing lying can’t cover, Julian pulled Giselle to outside door. Not long, I heard Giselle a burst rage: “Nonsense! Julian, you crazy, if I knew medicine you gave Jerry is this, say what I impossible let him eat!” “You now let doctor cancel surgery, I go apologize to Elena. I Giselle don’t need her abortion, also can sit on Family Head position.” She finished scolding Julian, then came in apologize to me, said if knew earlier those medicines were made of my previous children’s hearts, she wouldn’t accept. I looked at her eyes, heart bottom ignited last trace hope, “Sister Giselle, if you really have apology to me, can you help me marry Julian?” Giselle sure enough nodded, “This is should be, I go back tell mother-in-law this matter.” I instantly sighed a relief. Just this breath haven’t released completely, she spoke again, “Elena, you know Julian always thought his big brother was killed by him right, are you curious, that day why they two quarreled?” I was confused why she mentioned this matter at this time. Giselle suddenly pointed at herself, “Because his big brother discovered Julian likes me.” This sentence like gave me a stick on face. Julian never said this matter, he said I am first person he liked. But Giselle said she is Julian’s first love. Giselle seemed very satisfied with my expression, continued: “These years he always said want marry me, take care us mother son. I really afraid he this life won’t marry others, lucky met you.” “Even Jerry taking medicine matter also is, I just said a sentence there is a folk prescription from a doctor is eating six-month-old fetus heart, he then did this kind of bastard thing. But when he gave me those things, I all felt dirty, afraid have infectious disease, didn’t let Jerry eat, all fed to dog…” Behind words I couldn’t listen in. Maybe also no need listen, because I already understood her meaning outside words. Folk prescription was intentional. Is she designed everything behind. Truth impacted my body and mind, I almost uncontrollably raised slap hit on her face. “You actually fed my child’s heart to dog!” One slap simply not relieve anger, I raised hand want give her another slap. But my slap haven’t fallen, wrist was fiercely grabbed by someone. Julian don’t know when rushed in, pushed me fiercely back, and blocked Giselle tight tight. “Elena! You crazy what!” Giselle persuaded aside, “Julian, you don’t be so fierce, is me mentioned your children, Elena hit me is should…” “Children matter all I did, no relation with sister-in-law!” Julian raged, “You have what hate, what grievance, all come at me, don’t hurt sister-in-law!” I was pushed directly to wall by Julian. Back and lower abdomen came huge pain. But these pain, all can’t compare that cut in my heart. I couldn’t help open mouth, “Julian, you know, you know she gave our child’s heart to who eat? She simply didn’t…” I haven’t finished words, interrupted by Jerry voice. “Bad auntie! Not allowed say my mom bad words!” He drilled out from behind Giselle, directly bumped on my leg, small fists randomly hammered me. I already tottering, by this bump, feet unstable, subconsciously wanted push him away stabilize myself, hand didn’t control strength well. Jerry fell on ground. Just a second time, his face rapidly flushed purple, body also uncontrollably violent convulsion. “Jerry!” Giselle screamed, pounced kneel to Jerry side, tried press him, “Jerry! Jerry what wrong with you? Doctor! Quick call doctor!” Soon, Jerry taken away by few doctors, Julian and Giselle followed together leave. Less than two hours, Julian went and returned. I hurriedly stepped forward, ask him how is child. Julian voice ice cold, “Situation already stabilized.” I let out a breath. If Jerry really because me accident, then I this life no way forgive myself. Julian looked at my belly, “But, doctor said his recent condition not stable, best still…” I suddenly understood, immediately covered my belly, “No, no, Julian, you can’t take our child’s heart give him again, all this is Giselle conspiracy, she simply didn’t give Jerry…” “Enough.” Julian spoke, “If not you pushed like this, Jerry won’t have attack, this is you owe him!” Finished, he snapped fingers. Immediately few doctors nurses came in, pressed me onto surgery bed. I constantly struggled, told him I can’t abort this child, not only child will die, I will also die. Facing my bitter begging, Julian after all somewhat bear not. He walked over held my hand, just when I thought he finally willing listen me say a say. He told me: “Elena, you won’t die, wait next time, next time I absolutely won’t abort your child.” No next time. No next time ah. I even too late shout out this sentence, doctor pressed gave me anesthesia. Then I pushed to familiar surgery bed, those cold instruments opened my legs. Along with warm liquid flow out, child crying sound rang. I knew, I no longer have hope to live. System carefully announced I mission failed, about to be erased. But I still have some remaining points, want exchange or not, return original world say goodbye to family. “No need.” I closed eyes. Mean while, I felt my body start bleeding. Don’t know who shouted a sentence. “Blood! Patient massive hemorrhage!” Doctors nurses instant mess a ball. They surrounded me, call my name, press my body. Consciousness about to detach time, I said to System: “Those points, please help me exchange some other things, I want send Julian a big gift.” Chapter 2 After doctor friend Dr. Carter gave six-month-old fetus to Julian, he turned want go. Dr. Carter pulled him, “Julian, you don’t want look Elena? After all this already her tenth…” Julian however unhesitatingly threw off his hand, “Jerry side needs me more!” Words said so, but on car back, Julian heart always very panic, as if something want happen. Even he sent that warm heart to Hale old house, fingertips still unconsciously trembling. Butler took sealed medical cooler box, low voice said Little Master used medicine already slept. Julian nodded, turned want walk out. Maybe Dr. Carter said right, he should go look me. Result haven’t out door, Julian called by someone. “Julian, I a bit nervous tomorrow ceremony, can you stay accompany me talk?” Giselle appeared behind him, saying this request. If past, Julian would unhesitatingly stay. But since thought of my expression sent to surgery, he became somewhat hesitant. Giselle like saw something, considerate said: “I forgot, Elena just did abortion surgery, should need you more, you better go hospital.” “No need, I stay.” He heard himself say. This night extra long. Julian sat in living room sofa, Giselle chattering tomorrow ceremony details, he however a word didn’t listen in. Front eyes shaking, always that pair despair eyes when I pushed into surgery room. That time I seemed said something, he didn’t hear. Said what? Julian always ponder that sentence. Sky almost bright, he then shallow sleep on sofa moment. Chaotic dream, have baby weak crying sound, and large patch晕开 (spreading) blood. And he finally remembered my mouth shape before pushed out surgery room is what sentence. No next time ah! Julian instant woke up. This time sky not bright yet. Julian picked up phone, saw Dr. Carter called many times last night he didn’t answer. He walked to garden, heart annoyed chaotic want smoke cigarette, then return call. Result saw Giselle squatting in corner. In front of her is that German Shepherd raised many years, lowering head eating something. Julian walked over: “Feeding what?” Giselle back stiff, rapidly threw remaining thing in hand into dog bowl, stand up face already carried habitual gentle smile: “Nothing, some pig heart, give Little Black extra meal.” She naturally held Julian arm, “Help me look which dress wear good today?” Julian gaze however nailed in that dog bowl. This thing how so like what he brought back yesterday… His heart fiercely sank. Just not wait him look careful, Giselle already half pull half drag took him away. Today is big day, Julian till end also didn’t find suitable chance call Dr. Carter. He told himself, estimate is me playing small temper, intentional let Dr. Carter call him so many times. Hale old house main hall decorated solemn magnificent. Family important members all present, witness moment new Family Head take over Trust Token. Julian stood front row, watching mother hand that Jade Token symbolizing supreme power to Giselle. Giselle mouth corner contain smile, reach hand take. Just at this instant, main hall huge projection screen without warning lit up, above directly appeared my face. From yesterday I kneel beg Julian start, until Giselle whispered those words in my ear. “These years he always said want marry me, even Jerry eating medicine matter also is, I just said a sentence there is a folk prescription from a doctor is eating six-month-old fetus heart, he then did this kind of bastard thing.” “But when gave me those things, I all felt dirty, afraid have infectious disease, didn’t let Jerry eat, all fed to dog…” Full venue dead silence. Blood color on Giselle face instant faded clean, extended hand froze in mid-air. During period have several servants want turn off this screen, but TV like controlled by someone, how also can’t turn off. Julian whole body blood also at moment hearing Giselle last sentence as if frozen. He looked screen, looked again Giselle. “I, I didn’t.” Giselle instant panicked, hurry explain to Julian, “Julian you believe me, I never said these words to Elena.” At this time, present people all reacted, pointing fingers at screen. See already someone take out phone want take photo, Julian hurry step forward block. “This is my girlfriend making temper with me, video is AI synthesized, everyone don’t random spread.” Because this video, Giselle finally didn’t succeed taking charge. Julian handled this matter finish, then momentum fierce came hospital. He one kick open my ward. “Elena, you crazy, do this kind wicked thing, you not afraid karma?” However room no my shadow, only two nurses tidying bed. Julian walk in, ask them, “Person lying on this bed? Elena?” Two nurses scared by him shivering, but still tell truth. “Miss Elena she yesterday already rescue failed, passed away ah.” Julian stunned few seconds, then rage, “Is she let you say this? What? One cry two make noise no use, now start use death threaten me, you tell her, I not eat this set, quick let her come out!” Looks like I ruining Giselle taking charge this matter made Julian angry not light. He while scolding while smashed things in ward into pieces. Two little nurses scared run out, invited Dr. Carter then controlled Julian. When Dr. Carter also told Julian I yesterday because birth massive hemorrhage, rescue failed died on surgery table after. His eye bottom flashed a second hesitation, soon covered by raging anger again. “Impossible, she this morning still went old house ruined my sister-in-law taking charge ceremony, how possible die?” Julian grabbed Dr. Carter collar, “Carter, from beginning you always speak for Elena, is it she gave you money, so you cooperate her act such a play.” Dr. Carter see can’t talk sense with Julian, directly pulled Julian came morgue. He found my bed, pulled open white cloth on my head, pointed my already white corpse show Julian. “Now believe?” Julian gaze fell on my face. He trembling hand reach over, fingertip touch cold skin time fierce shrink, like burned. “Impossible…” He legs soft, actually straight knelt down, full face disbelief, “This isn’t Elena, how possible Elena die?” “How won’t.” Dr. Carter face sorrow, “I long told you, she already pregnant so many children, when we opened her belly, her uterus thin like paper, fallopian tubes stuck together, separate can’t separate, we even blood too late stop, her heart rate dropped to lowest.” Dr. Carter told Julian, so many years pregnant so many times, my uterus rotten like dumpling filling, able pregnant to tenth time already miracle. “But she has System ah!” Julian grabbed Dr. Carter arm, “She said she has System! That kind thing… that kind thing how have times limit? She definitely lying me! You all lying me!” “System?” Dr. Carter like heard some joke, he threw off Julian hand, eyes full anger, “Julian, you always say she has System, but have you seen her System? Under heaven if really have this thing, how she one time weaker than one time, uterus how rot like that!” Julian asked speechless, brain chaotic flashed some fragments—— Elena knelt on ground crying said she only has ten chances, said this time not born she will die. He that time thought that just her excuse to keep child. “No.” Julian still want say this not true, Elena not dead. But cold morgue, cold corpse all tell him, Elena died. Because he insisted abort tenth child, Elena died on surgery table. This cognition fiercely pinch Julian heart, almost let him breathless. Just when he eyes red, prepared good look me again, suddenly thought of this morning surveillance. “Right! Surveillance!” Julian like grabbed some life saving straw, “If Elena died, then who made video? Is you! Carter, is it she begged you help her change hospital surveillance, then you synthesize video revenge me? This corpse… this corpse also fake, right?!” He pounced to morgue bed, wanted more carefully check, fingers only touched a piece stiff cold. Dr. Carter thoroughly enraged by his self deception, he a grab Julian, dragged him back ward I lived, “Surveillance? You look clear! Our hospital OB-GYN and surgery room to protect patient privacy, simply not allow install surveillance! Where come surveillance recording for her use!” “Julian, are you…” Dr. Carter originally wanted ask Julian is it because my death stimulated hallucination. But he heard here, fierce understood something, “Julian, I know, maybe Elena System is true, she only can pregnant ten times also true, that surveillance have possibility is her System made, just for let you see clear Giselle true face!” Julian stunned, “What called Giselle true face?” Dr. Carter told Julian, yesterday heard him say once a doctor said can use six-month-old fetus heart cure heart disease he felt wrong. So he night found peer inquire that doctor. Coincidentally, he has a friend know this doctor, so he asked contact, called over. Through his inquiry then knew, that doctor indeed said this sentence, but that time was a rich lady found him, said want film a movie invite him cameo, designed this line for him. “So I show your sister-in-law photo to him.” Dr. Carter told him, “He said your sister-in-law is that rich lady.” Speak here, Dr. Carter sighed again, “After I felt this matter too strange, so went investigate your nephew Jerry medical record, I found he simply no illness.” “Wh, what?” How like this? If Jerry no illness, why Giselle lie him? Then only one possibility, Giselle not want Elena born own child marry into Hale family. This time, Julian then remembered those dialogues in surveillance. And things saw in garden dog bowl this morning. That simply not pig heart, is his tenth child heart. Elena didn’t lie, his sister-in-law, really fed those hearts to dog. One after another smashed Julian almost can’t straighten waist. He dare not believe he didn’t believe me, insisted want me abort tenth child time, how despair I was. Is him indulged Giselle always hurt me, is him killed our child. He simply wrong outrageous. Julian bit by bit slide down from wall. Just when Dr. Carter felt he seemed hit never stand up again, Julian fierce get up. He voice heavy, “I want go home.” Giselle since dare lie him, then have to bear end of lying him.

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$10,000 a week, night shift only, job content is: Sleep. To get this god-tier job, I signed a contract with a huge penalty clause. The butler Alfred handed me a pure black eye mask, tone serious like giving last words: “Remember, no matter what Mr. Damien does to you, absolutely, absolutely do not open your eyes.” “More importantly, do not let him know, you are awake.” I clutched the eye mask, heart blooming with joy. Isn’t it just playing dead? I’m an expert at this business! Chapter 1 Before winter break, the balance in my card was cleaner than my face. To avoid being despised by my mom during holidays, and save enough tuition for next semester, I refreshed resumes day and night on Indeed. Just when my eyes were about to go blind, a recruitment ad hit me like lightning. [Urgent: Night Companion. Location: Blackwood Manor. Requirement: Female, good sleep quality, quiet and honest. Salary: $500 daily, $10,000 weekly.] Ten thousand dollars! Am I seeing things? This isn’t recruitment, this is simply targeted poverty alleviation! Afraid this splashing wealth would flow to someone else’s field, I submitted my resume at light speed. Didn’t expect the reply even faster, directly sent a location, told me to interview tonight. On the way to Blackwood Manor, I sat in the back of an Uber, heart actually drumming a bit. The driver looked at me several times through the rearview mirror, finally couldn’t hold back: “Miss, going to Blackwood Manor this late? That place is famous for being… weird.” I clutched my deflated wallet tight, thinking what does a poor ghost fear of weirdness? Poverty is the scariest ghost. Arrived at the place, I was awed by the magnificent carved iron gate. This isn’t a manor, simply a vampire castle. Coming out to pick me up was a middle-aged uncle wearing a tuxedo, claimed to be Alfred. Alfred looked me up and down, eyes carrying a kind of… pity I couldn’t understand? “Miss Mia, right? Follow me.” The manor was scary quiet, only our footsteps echoing in the empty corridor. Decoration luxurious is truly luxurious, desolate is truly desolate. I couldn’t help shrinking my neck, whispered: “Um, Alfred, what exactly is this job doing? I saw the recruitment wrote quite simple…” Alfred stopped, turned around, expression serious like reading an imperial decree. “The job is indeed simple. My young master suffers from severe sleep disorder and skin hunger, needs someone to act as… a comfort object.” Comfort object? Put bluntly is a human body pillow? My mental abacus crackled loud. Sleep with but not sleep with (sex), still get paid, this deal is profitable! Alfred seemed to see through my thoughts, he took out a black silk eye mask from pocket, handed to my hand. That eye mask felt cold, slippery to touch, like skin of some cold-blooded animal. “Miss Mia, although ugly words are not pleasant to hear, but I must say ahead.” Alfred’s voice lowered a few notches, appearing extra gloomy in this empty corridor. “First, working hours are from 10 PM to 6 AM. During this period, you must wear the eye mask throughout.” “Second, young master dislikes noise, no matter what happens, you cannot make a sound.” Speaking here, he paused, eyes staring straight at me, making my scalp numb. “Third, and the most important point.” “No matter what you feel or hear at night, absolutely, absolutely do not open your eyes.” “More importantly, do not let young master discover, you are awake.” I glanced at the pitch-black eye mask in hand, heart inexplicably thumped. These rules, why sound like filming a horror movie? But turning thought to that money, and the bag lying in my cart for half a year, fear in heart instantly dispelled by the light of money. Isn’t it just pretending to sleep? In Calculus class before, I could sleep with eyes open, now sleeping with eyes closed isn’t it a piece of cake? I patted chest guarantee: “Alfred you rest assured, I have no other merits, just sleep dead! Thunder can’t move!” Alfred looked at me deeply, sighed: “Hope so.” Signed the contract, Alfred took me into a huge bedroom. Room didn’t turn on lights, only thick curtains drawn, black can’t see fingers. Air filled with a faint cold fragrance, like cedar mixed with some unknown herbal smell, very good smell, but makes people inexplicably feel cold. In the middle lay a ridiculously large bed. “Go, young master will come in a while.” Alfred finished saying, retreated like escaping for life, smoothly closed the door. With a “click” sound of locking, the whole world seemed to quiet down. I groped to climb onto bed, obediently put on eye mask. This mattress soft like clouds, lying on it whole person sank in. Comfortable is truly comfortable, just why heart always feels creepy? Time passed minute by minute. Just when I dazedly about to really fall asleep, door suddenly came a trace of movement. No footsteps. Only sound of doorknob being gently turned. I instantly sober, whole body hair stood up. Coming! My sugar daddy… no, is my money coming! I held breath, forced myself relax body, tried to make myself look like a peaceful corpse. Cold fragrance in air seemed thicker. Immediately after, mattress beside slightly sank. A stream of cold breath instantly wrapped me. That wasn’t normal human body temperature, more like frozen in ice cellar for three days and nights. I couldn’t help shivering. Next second, a slender powerful hand, gently rested on my waist. Across thin pajamas, that coldness penetrated bone marrow. I involuntarily tensed muscles. That hand didn’t stop, instead followed my waist line, bit by bit moved up. Action elegant, slow, but carrying a kind of unquestionable control desire. My heart panicked a batch. This plot direction wrong! Didn’t say just sleep disorder? How feels like transforming into The Ring? I dead bit teeth, remembering Alfred’s teaching: no sound, no move, no open eyes. That hand finally stopped beside my cheek. Cold fingertip gently slid across my profile, like appreciating a fragile porcelain. Itchy, cold. Immediately after, a heavy object pressed up. That so-called “young master”, buried head into my neck hollow. Warm breath sprayed on my skin, raising a layer of fine goosebumps. This feeling too weird. Body cold, breath is hot. Is he really human? My mind instantly flashed various horror novel plots read before. Vampire? Zombie? Or some perverted killer? Just when I thinking wild, ear suddenly came a low laugh. Voice deep magnetic, good to hear make ears pregnant, but revealed a strand of evil making back spine cold. “New… pillow?” Is he talking to me? No, he is talking to himself. I kept rules in mind, motionless, even breathing frequency controlled carefully. He seemed very satisfied with me, arms tightened, circled my whole person into arms. That suffocating oppression, made me almost breathless. Don’t know how long passed, just when I thought this night would pass safely like this. Change suddenly born. I felt something, gently touching edge of my eye mask. That is his finger. He is hooking my eye mask strap! My heart instantly raised to throat, crazy hitting chest cavity. Alfred’s words crazy loop playing in mind: [Absolutely, absolutely do not open eyes.] [More cannot let young master discover, you are awake.] I desperately controlled eyelids, even if eyeballs already crazy rolling under eyelids, dare not reveal a trace gap. That finger very bad. It didn’t rush to take off eye mask, instead gently rubbed along edge, like probing, also like teasing. “Heart beating so fast…” That voice sounded again, carrying a trace of playfulness, drilled in sticking to my ear. “Are you afraid?” Boom—— A firework exploded in my brain. He knows! He knows I’m awake! Then what should I do now? Continue playing dead, or jump up shout “Hero spare life”? Before I struggled out a result, that hand suddenly exerted force. A corner of eye mask was lifted a gap. Faint moonlight shone in. That instant, I instinctively wanted to close eyes tight. But human instinct sometimes is just this damn. Stayed in darkness long, once have light, will subconsciously chase. I didn’t hold back, squinted a slit. Just an instant. I regretted. Borrowing that cold moonlight, I saw a pair of eyes. A pair of eyes glowing with weird red light, dead staring at me. That face handsome unreasonable, pale without a trace of blood color. At this moment, that face hanging a touch of evil smile. Our sight, at this moment, collided together without obstruction. Finished. Chapter 2 Barbie Q-ed (Done for). My money, seems going to become my life buying money. He looked at my terrified eyes, smile on mouth corner deeper. Cold fingertip gently tapped on my eyelid, voice gentle like coaxing lover, words spoken let me fall into ice cave: “Didn’t tell you, don’t open eyes?” I looked at that face handsome to anger gods, brain spinning fast. Next second, I fiercely reached hand cupped his face, smack a kiss on it. “Wuwuwu, dreaming can dream of this superb handsome guy, this life worth it!” Air dead silent for about three seconds. Damien —— also my employer, obviously didn’t expect I would have this reaction. His pair of red pupils originally full of killing intent and teasing, at this moment revealed a trace of obvious confusion. Cold finger still stopped on my eyelid, froze. My heart panicked like ten thousand alpacas running, but face must be steady as old dog. This is my only way to live. I must make him believe, I am still dreaming, I am a hungry ghost for sex, I am a sleepwalking patient! After that smack, I even pushed luck rubbed cheek on his cold palm, mouth vaguely mumbled: “Don’t go… my money… my handsome guy… hehe, ten thousand dollars…” Damien’s finger trembled a bit. He seemed evaluating if I am really stupid or pretending stupid. “Dreaming?” He low voice repeated once, tone carrying few parts playfulness. That oppression didn’t disappear, instead heavier. He lowered head, nose tip almost touched my nose tip. I could clearly see my own reflection in his pupils —— a coward risking life for money. “Since dreaming,” he suddenly laughed, revealing a sharp canine tooth, appearing both evil and… damn sexy, “Then doing something else, also not excessive right?” I haven’t reacted what “something else” means, neck suddenly came a burst of severe pain. He bit me! Not that flirting bite, is real bite! Sharp teeth pierced skin, cold liquid injected along wound, or maybe he is sucking something. I pain almost passed away on spot, tears instantly burst out. But I dare not scream. Because people in dream bitten won’t scream like killing pig. I dead pinched my own thigh, forced scream into a charming hum: “Mm… lighter… bite broken have to compensate money…” Damien movement paused. He loosened mouth, extended tongue tip, unsatisfied licked away blood bead on my neck. That action, erotic to death, also dangerous to death. “Really a… money fan.” He low laughed once, killing intent in tone seemed lighter. Then, he waved big hand, pulled that damn eye mask back for me, blocked my sight. “Sleep.” His voice seemed to have some magic. I originally pain spirit shaking, hearing these two words, eyelids actually really started fighting. Last thought before consciousness blurred was: This money, really f*cking hard to earn ah… Chapter 3 When woke up next day, I was woken up by Alfred. Sunlight sprinkled in through curtain gap, shining me a burst of trance. If not for two clear teeth marks on neck, I almost thought last night everything really was a dream. When Alfred saw wound on my neck, that face paralyzed all year round instantly colorful. Shock, fear, unbelievable, finally turned into a look seeing god. “Miss Mia, you… still alive?” I touched neck, pain teeth grin mouth: “Alfred, does this count work injury? Can reimburse medical fee or not?” Alfred mouth corner twitched once: “…Count.” When walking out room, I specially looked at that big bed. Bed empty, not even a wrinkle, as if that cold corpse-like man last night didn’t exist at all. But I knew he was there. This whole manor filled with his aura, that cold, aggressive cedar smell. When settling bill, Alfred handed me a thick envelope. I opened look, stunned. Not ten thousand. Is twenty thousand. “Young master said, this is last night’s… tip.” When Alfred said this, expression very complex, “He also said, Miss Mia’s blood, taste not bad.” My hand shook, envelope almost dropped ground. So I am selling body and selling blood? But looking at those red bills, fear in my heart instantly cured. Twenty thousand dollars! Don’t say sucking two mouthfuls blood, even let him treat me as mobile blood bank, as long as not suck dry, I willing! “Alfred, I still come tonight!” I grabbed envelope, smiled eyes unseen. Alfred looked at me, want speak but stopped, finally just sighed: “Miss Mia, take care.” Chapter 4 Next half month, I lived a painful and happy life. Daytime I am money spending little rich woman, night I am Damien’s human pillow cum mobile blood bag. Damien seemed didn’t expose my “pretend sleep” that night. He enjoyed this cat catch mouse game very much. Every night, he would appear on time, sometimes hug me sleep, sometimes bite me twice. And I found, this guy’s body temperature is slowly changing. At start like ice block, now occasionally can feel a trace of human warmth. Most ridiculous is, he started chatting with me. Although most time is him talking to himself, or roasting “sleeping” me. “Today’s stock fell, annoying.” “Steak made by Alfred too tough, bad eat.” “How this woman sleep drool? Dirty dead.” I wearing eye mask, heart crazy roll eyes: Big brother, you dislike you don’t hug ah! Also, I drool because dream eating roast duck, concern you what matter! Until one night, situation changed. That day I just lay down not long, Damien came. But his state today very not right. Breath disordered, whole body hot amazing, like a stove. He got on bed dead hugged me, strength big like want strangle me break breath. “Hot… so hot…” He painfully groaned, hot body rubbing back and forth on me. I strangled by him straight roll white eyes, thinking this bro is fever? Should we call ambulance? But remember “absolutely no sound” in contract, I can only endure. Suddenly, he fierce tore open my pajamas. Hot kisses densely fell, carrying a kind of out of control crazy. I panicked. This script not right ah! I came to sell art not body! Although he handsome I have money take I not loss, but this also too sudden right? “Mia… help me…” He called my name. Voice hoarse, carrying a trace begging. That string named “reason” in my brain snapped. This is sugar daddy! In case he burned stupid, later who give me salary? I heart horizontal, also not pretend sleep, directly reach hand push away his face, shout once: “Damien! You sober a bit!”

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Third year after being kidnapped, my husband brought his mistress and rescued me. No cliché plot of chasing wife back. Husband cleanly cut contact with her, son obediently called me Mom. Woman also didn’t pester, took money turned and left without hesitation. But I still threw tantrums, made home chaos. Finally, when I fought with socialite wives for nth time. Husband finally lost temper at me: “What exactly do you want?!” I pointed at those wives: “They say everyday I am ruined, not worthy of you.” “Say I can’t compare to Ruby a bit, let me not come back, fulfill you two be together.” Husband somewhat impatient: “Just few sentences, you make scene like this?” Son whispered: “Ruby mom is so good, unlike Mom you now only know losing face.” “Besides, you being kidnapped not Ruby mom’s fault.” I stunned, indeed not her fault. But is it my fault? “But I not willing you have two wives, son has two moms.” “Choose one, either she go, or divorce.” … Chapter 1 Hall dead silence. Son eye rims red, he pulled my sleeve: “Mom, you don’t drive Little Mom away, also don’t separate with Dad okay?” My heart ache, looking at this child I carried ten months born. Still couldn’t hold back grievance in heart, eye rims carrying tears. “She counts as what Little Mom? Your mom only me one!” “If you choose her be mom, then don’t call me Mom!” Charles immediately protected son behind, brows tight knit: “You throw what temper to your son? How old is he, understand what?” “I throw temper?” I suddenly laughed out sound, tears couldn’t stop falling down: “Charles, you look he looks like my son ma?” “He calling other woman Mom, still want let me tolerate her.” “Continue like this, don’t know still think Ruby is your wife, my son’s biological mom!” I couldn’t help recall reason I fought with those wives. Since I came back, they always gossip me behind back. Say I ruined, not worthy Charles, say I not as Ruby virtuous capable, know big picture. I always endure, just afraid give Charles trouble. Until this banquet, I then knew. Ruby although left, but always brought by him with “Mrs. Charles” identity attend various occasions. Even house I live now, clothes wear, jewelry use, all she picked left. Even bed I sleep, still left her perfume smell. More I think more collapse, throat like blocked cotton ball. “Everyone say I shouldn’t come back, you guys are most match.” “But clearly I am your legal wife, they however all think I am mistress destroying your happiness!” “Could it be I shouldn’t aggrieved, shouldn’t have temper?” Charles face stiff, then helpless said: “But that also not Ruby fault, why you want drag Ruby.” “Is these wives said excessive, I let them apologize to you okay?” Ruby also aside eye rims red said: “Sister, I really didn’t know they said like that behind back.” “I just…” She saying want bow apologize to me, I however directly pushed her away. “Pretend! You continue pretend! You think what you think I don’t know?!” “Clearly I already back, you however still always claim ‘Mrs. Charles’ identity, don’t you just want squeeze me away, self ascend?!” In chaos, I accidentally touched her, she not stand steady, just hit champagne tower behind. Countless fragments fell, blood dripping. Charles immediately step forward hug her up, heartache in eyes almost overflow. Son also ran over grab her hand, turn head shout at me: “Mom, you too excessive!” Looking their family of three harmonious look. I where still have what not understand. Chest like pressed by giant stone, can’t breathe. I suddenly laughed. “You guys want choose her right?” “Good.” I retreat few steps, turn rush to balcony outside. No hesitation, flip over railing… Fell from 12th floor, maybe my life good, didn’t die. Below floor have trees and shops, did buffer. Finally in ICU rescued forty-eight hours, survived. Charles see me wake, face full tired. “Must you make to fish die net break step?” I didn’t answer, just coldly look him: “Choose one, either drive Ruby away, or I die!” See they still hesitate, I immediately want get up from bed, go jump again. Charles and son face instant pale. Aside Ruby see situation crying sound: “Sorry, all blame me, I shouldn’t appear.” “I go immediately, Sister you don’t force them.” Then she like a wife about to leave home, chattering instructing. “Nathan, you remember drink milk at night, Charles, your underwear put in second drawer at home.” I can see, this is Ruby disgusting me means. But I don’t care, I only want her leave. Chapter 2 After discharge, all things Ruby left, I called cleaner threw into trash can. I thought, this home finally can completely belong to me. But I found, facing me time, Charles and son more and more silent. I start learn everyday early up cook porridge for Charles, specially go learn massage want relieve stress for him. To let son happy, I in near forty degree weather wear heavy monster suit play with him. I thought like this, they will love me again. Until weekend I take son go playground, accidentally heard son and classmate dialogue. Son voice not loud, but like needle prick into my heart: “I tell you guys a secret, I have two moms.” His classmate curious ask: “What two moms, your that Little Mom, not driven away by your mom?” “No ah, that all act for mom see, my dad long bought her a new house at school gate.” In classmate exclaim sound, he raised chin. Hearing this, my eyes a burst black, almost can’t stand steady. “You not afraid your mom find out?” Son cold snort: “She full heart all how let us like her, won’t find out.” “These two months, my dad excuse work busy, actually is taking me go find Ruby mom.” “Even parent-child activity, my dad require teacher not allowed tell my mom, let me take Little Mom go.” I support wall, heart tip rise dense pain. Turns out Ruby simply didn’t go. They behind my back set another home near school. Holding spare key in Charles bag, I took taxi went address on contract. Today should be our wedding 8th anniversary. But now, I go catch adultery. Through window, I look Ruby tying apron cooking, Charles then accompany son playing toys in living room. Atmosphere harmonious, warm as if a family. “I come really not coincidence, disturb you family of three?!” Three people turned head, expression instant froze. Looking Charles and son subconsciously protect Ruby behind movement. I finally couldn’t help red eye rims, grievance overwhelming surged up: “Charles! Two homes, you really can play ah!” “This is you told me sent away? Let son call her Mom? Give her another home!” Charles face flashed a trace embarrassment of being caught, then he force calm explain: “Ruby stayed in our home three years, suddenly let her go, me and son both not used to.” “And her family situation special, her dad alcohol addiction domestic violence, I can’t watch her jump fire pit right.” “Domestic violence?” I sneer out sound, tears however uncontrollable surged up. “That three years I kidnapped sold, everyday chained beat, several times, they vividly broke my leg and two ribs.” “But do you know? Such beating, I suffered 1100 Days.” “If not police saved me out that day, I long died there!” I lift open clothes, countless scars crisscross. That time son grabbed by trafficker into black car. I to save son, used myself exchanged son a life road. Trafficker drove car dragged me three kilometers. When taken into deep mountain I flesh blood blurry, body no piece good meat. I locked in dark no sun cellar, supply old men there vent. Kidnapped three years, I aborted more than ten times, finally uterus removed. I choked voice: “You guys heart ache him, why not heart ache me?” Ruby this time walk over, eye rims red: “Sister, sorry, I go now, never disturb you guys again.” Saying she want untie apron on body. “Enough!” Charles blocked Ruby behind, impatient look me: “Annie! What exactly you want?” “Is I want let you kidnapped ruined?” “That time everyone let me not pick you back, said you ‘not clean’, I faced pressure pick you back.” “Also according your request sent Ruby away, what else you want?” Tears flow more and more fierce, I couldn’t help hiss roar out sound: “So is this my fault?” “I deserve be ruined, be beaten, be scolded by them I am mistress destroy your happiness is it?” “I am your real wife, child real mom!” Charles shocked by my consecutive question. He rubbed brow center, tired open mouth: “I not this meaning.” “You kidnapped we all don’t want..” “Now like this just quite good, you don’t force me okay?” Now like this just quite good? I suddenly laugh out sound: “Charles, now good where, are you want me to your cheating matter open one eye close one eye, watching you guys additionally form a new family?” Son timidly open mouth: “But Mom, when you not here, always is Ruby mom act my mom…” “And for not let others say you, Dad already kept Little Mom outside, title originally belong Little Mom all gone, what exactly you still want ah?” Behind my back live family of three days, call for me? Heart like fiercely grabbed, I pain can’t breathe, grab hair hysterical roar: “I kidnapped! How accompany you!” “Mrs. Charles title, originally is belong me, she is a mistress!” Son scared by me, hurry hide behind Ruby. “Sister, you don’t blame child, he still small, Charles these years not easy, I just want help…” “Help?” Accumulated long time anger finally exploded: “You help to want rob my husband and son? You less here pretend innocent! You are a shameful mistress!” Charles clenched fist, knuckles white. He suddenly loud shout: “What exactly you want?” I want what? I just want back my family, my son, originally belong my everything. How now, instead all became my fault? A burst grievance surge heart head. “I said, this home, have her no me, have me no her!” “You today not drive her away, I go die!” This sentence like exhausted his last trace patience, Charles fierce pulled open tie, eyes ice cold: “Then you go die.” Air instant solidify. I dare not believe look surging annoyance and impatience in his eyes, fingertips cold. “You… let me go die?” Charles turn away eyes, Adam’s apple moved, but didn’t speak. Ruby suddenly open mouth: “You guys don’t quarrel… all my fault, I shouldn’t stay…” Charles interrupt her: “You don’t go.” His gaze fall on me, eyes no half guilt: “Person should go not you, is her.” Son also follow nod: “Mom you always noise, if you not come back good.” “If I not come back good…” I repeat this sentence, tears surging smash on floor. Looking Ruby eye bottom can’t hide pride, Charles cold side face and son eyes strange. I finally understand, I again pushed out home by them. I while cry while laugh, slowly retreat. Ruby make posture want come pull my hand apologize to me, but when approach fierce pushed me a push. I not stand steady, hit on flower vase behind. Vase instant fall, fragments splash me a body, body come sharp pain. Blood soon seeped out. But Charles and son simply look not look me once, all rush over look Ruby. “Okay right, hurt or not.” Then, they took Ruby turned leave. Chapter 3 I hospitalized three days, Charles and son not come see me once. Ruby just scratched a bit skin by fragment, Charles directly asked leave to company stick body take care. I crazy smash furniture once bought together at home. Photos in album all tear destroy. Finally, I lit a fire, watching them all bit by bit turn ash. Then I called Charles, open condition: “You want give her a home outside, can.” “But you give her a house, have to give me ten sets.” “Otherwise, I let Ruby this life, all can’t detach mistress title.” Since die also can’t beg back their love, can’t get a bit their concern. Then I not beg. But things belong me, he don’t think less give me a cent! I clench voice recorder in pocket, fingertip white because force. Kidnapped three years, although I eager desire return family, re-establish connection with family. But I not stupid, Ruby appearance like a time bomb. Early when I foresee uneasy, I start carry voice recorder with me. Inside has son show off two moms recording. Also in that house hidden near school. Charles protect Ruby defend words, all clear recorded down. These words let me completely break last trace thought. I sit in hotel room, mood unprecedented calm. Once I don’t want extract emotion from this father son, they then never affect me a bit. Kidnapped three years, already exercise my heart extra strong. That hard time I all boiled over, betrayed by husband and son, just scratch. Soon, phone ringtone sharp rang. I ignore, directly silence phone, then go bathroom wash a comfortable hot bath. Wait finish bath out, saw more than hundred missed calls and WeChat message bomb on phone. This time, Charles phone call again. I just press connect, his rage voice came from receiver: “Annie! You crazy what? Why you burn house?” “Where are you now?” I tone calm: “Charles, that house originally should burn.” Charles impatient said: “Is your brain enter water? That is our home, is you want burn then burn? Can you not so unreasonable?” “If you have Ruby half sensible, can we between noise become like this?!” I light laugh out sound: “Our home?” “You say these time heart not guilty? In your heart, exactly where is your home?” “I see school gate that is your real home right.” Charles fierce pause: “Fine, even this matter is me wrong, but you also can’t burn house, inside still has many important documents, do you know that is illegal?” “What illegal, just accidentally fire that’s all, do you have evidence prove I intentional?” “Besides.” I mock said: “You cheating in marriage, use couple common property buy house for Ruby, let her wear my identity accompany you attend various occasions.” “You guys unite lie me, treat me as fool, even watch me pushed down injured by Ruby also ignore, she just broke bit skin, you asked leave take care her.” “You treat me as what? Could it be not you forced me to this step?” Then, I open WeChat, sent recording file to him. “Inside here recorded evidence you cheating in marriage, and matter you transfer marriage property.” “You and son, I both don’t want, casual you how handle Ruby, all no relation with me, I only want compensation belong me.” Receiver fell into dead silence, only Charles heavy breathing sound. Passed a while, he then eased tone, tone soft few points: “Annie, house burned just burned, we re-buy a set is fine.” “Where are you now, we appoint a place good good talk.” “What compensation you want, we can discuss.” I sneer once: “A set house want send me away, you inevitably think bit too good.” “You owe me, not so easy pay back.” I firm said: “I already contacted lawyer, divorce agreement should soon send to your hand.” “Couple common property part, I want take away I deserve, also Ruby that house, transfer to my name.” “You cheating caused me mental damage, I will also a cent not less ask back.” Charles tone become angry again: “You must make matter to this step? Son think how?” “Affect his later growth what do, can’t you think think your son?” Think of son, my heart needle prick like pain. But I think of son said self “two moms” that words, facing Ruby say I not sensible words. I hard heart: “You now say these what use? You start why not feel will affect son.” “Is you and Ruby let him feel me this biological mom is superfluous, now you mention son, not feel late?” I press down hoarse in throat: “Charles, from now on we two not owe, since Ruby not go, then I disappear from your world.” Finished this words, I not wait Charles respond, but directly hung up phone.

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