I shamelessly pursued Christian Davies for four years. He was utterly fed up. Under his immense pressure, my family nervously sent me abroad. He had said, “Do whatever it takes to get her to stop bothering me!” “Otherwise, don’t blame me for showing no mercy.” Drugs, hypnosis, electroshock therapy… Those methods were truly effective. I forgot what it felt like to love him. Even my memories of him became hazy. He finally relented, allowing me to return home. I actively avoided any place he might appear. Because Mom told me that man with the stunning looks was someone I couldn’t afford to offend. When I saw him kissing Willow, my sister, I secretly pulled out my phone to take a picture. His eyes blazed with a fierce, cold fury. I cowered into the corner, words failing me: “I’m sorry, I just thought you two looked so good together, totally shippable…” I didn’t know why. The stoic man, who rarely showed emotion, his eyes trembled violently. **1** After coming back from abroad, I always felt like my brain wasn’t working quite right. I spent most of my day sleeping. I thought I might be sick. Mom comforted me, saying not to worry. “You’ve always been a little sleepyhead, unlike your sister who’s so disciplined.” “It’s fine, everyone’s body is different. Just go to sleep if you’re tired.” I poured myself a large cup of black coffee, hoping to perk up. But it had no effect. I tapped my temples, frustrated, when the front door rang. Mr. Henderson, the butler, said: “Miss Willow brought Mr. Davies home.” Dad and Mom’s faces immediately lit up with joy. Dad eagerly went to greet them. Mom was about to follow, then suddenly remembered something. She looked at me, troubled: “Lily, you…” I nodded understandingly: “I know, Mr. Davies doesn’t like me.” “Willow’s engagement is important. I’ll go upstairs now, I need to catch up on sleep anyway.” Mom looked at me, yawning, with relief. I had only walked a few steps when I suddenly remembered I hadn’t picked up my coffee cup. I wanted to try another cup later. The moment I turned, I inadvertently met a pair of cold, piercing eyes. It was almost instinctive. I forgot all about the coffee cup and ran as fast as I could. Like my life depended on running away fast enough. I didn’t stop until I burst into my room and locked the door from the inside. Then I pushed a table against the door. Only then did my heart, pounding in my throat, finally settle. I couldn’t explain why, but seeing Christian always triggered an intense emotion in me: Fear. Mom said it was because Christian had a natural air of dominance; anyone around him felt immense pressure. “Especially someone like you, a born pushover.” Mom told me not to appear in front of Christian. “Christian, he doesn’t like people who look cute but are actually slow-witted.” “His gaze only lingers on excellent girls like your sister.” “What level is the Davies family on? If we can marry into the Davies family, we could save ourselves generations of struggle!” “Lily, you need to be sensible.” I was very sensible. So, every time Christian came over, I actively avoided him. Mom was very pleased about this and sometimes patted my head. That was my greatest reward, and I treasured it. So, I never dared to tell Mom. Even if she didn’t say anything, I would have avoided Christian on my own. His presence was just too overwhelming. I felt so uncomfortable. So suppressed. As if my heart was being squeezed tightly in someone’s hand. And a strange, bitter ache. Downstairs, laughter and cheerful chatter filled the air. Lost in that happy noise, I drifted off to sleep. **2** When I woke up again, it was dark outside. Already evening. The mansion was quiet. Christian must have left. My stomach growled. I pushed open my door, wearing a white princess nightgown, and padded barefoot downstairs to find food. The floor was cold and smooth, and I felt my brain clear up just a tiny bit. I was standing by the counter, heating up toast. The study door suddenly opened. Christian emerged, dressed in a sharp suit. Bathed in the warm yellow light, his silhouette was even more defined, his posture perfectly straight. His features were sculpted, sharp. He looked like a god of judgment had descended. But he was too cold. His aura was cold, his eyes were cold. Even the charcoal gray cufflinks on his suit glinted coldly. Across the long living room, his gaze fell lightly upon me. His thin lips pressed into a tight line. He radiated an overwhelming presence. In an instant. I snapped back to reality. I buried my head in my arms and ducked under the dining table. A pathetic attempt to hide. Willow’s light footsteps floated down the stairs. She ran into Christian’s arms, holding his arm and shaking it. “Are you really leaving already? You haven’t even seen my new showreel, can’t you stay for dinner?” Willow’s demeanor was usually distant. But now, she showed off a girlish charm, her voice soft and sweet. So lovely. Like a beautiful bird. With vibrant plumage and a melodious song. Christian didn’t speak, his cold eyes fixed on me, shivering under the table. Willow’s smile faded. She bit her lip and said: “If you’re busy, you can see it another time. Let’s go, I’ll walk you out.” Christian stood motionless. His oppressive presence was so heavy, it was as if he hadn’t even heard Willow speak. Willow opened her mouth, but didn’t dare utter a sound. After a long moment, he finally spoke, his voice low: “Alright, I’ll eat dinner before I leave.” Dad and Willow’s faces simultaneously registered surprise. Christian’s lips curved slightly: “What are you afraid of? She’s forgotten everything, hasn’t she?” Christian took long strides to the dining table and knelt down. His suit pants accentuated the strong lines of his legs. “Lily, do you still recognize me?” I timidly raised my eyes, then lowered them, not daring to meet his gaze. I slowly nodded. But suddenly, my fingertips and toes felt as if they were being pricked by needles. It was an automatic, reactive scream. I squeezed my eyes shut. Shaking my head frantically. “No! Don’t hit me! I don’t know you!” **3** At the dinner table, the atmosphere was strange. Dad and Mom tried desperately to liven things up. But Christian just ate quietly. His posture refined. He showed no intention of speaking. This made Mom and Dad’s enthusiasm seem very awkward. Willow’s face was dark, and she remained silent. I didn’t dare to pick up any food, only eating small bites of rice. Finally, when the meal was over, Dad and Mom both seemed to let out a sigh of relief. As Christian was about to leave, I suddenly remembered something and called out to him: “Mr. Davies, wait a moment.” Everyone stared at me in surprise. Including Christian. His brow furrowed slightly, clearly impatient. “Just for a second. Okay?” I used my fingers to show a centimeter of distance. Saying that, I ran upstairs, and quickly came back down carrying a metal box. Everyone’s eyes were fixed on me. I opened the lid of the metal box and asked: “Mr. Davies, is this yours?” On top of the box were a dozen or so ID photos. Some were passport-sized, some larger. They clearly weren’t obtained through official channels. Because some photos had official stamps, and some had dried glue on the back. It was evident they had been pried off various documents. Christian in the photos looked younger than he was now, with a hint of youthfulness in his eyes and brows. But his features were already exceptionally handsome. Besides the ID photos, there were other miscellaneous items. Candy wrappers, cigarette boxes, empty pen cartridges, crumpled test papers, and so on. Christian’s gaze was intense as he looked at me. I gritted my teeth before I dared to continue: “I found it in a corner of my closet. I don’t know who put it there. But I recognized your photos, so they must be yours, right?” Christian’s eyes shifted slightly, seeming to hold a hint of scrutiny. His stare made me shrink. My shoulders drooped. He spoke: “Not mine, throw it away.” “Oh, okay.” I casually tossed it into the nearby trash can and was about to go upstairs. Christian’s eyes suddenly took on a dangerous glint. “Lily, you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?” He called out to me. I was puzzled: “What?” He seemed to see right through everything, his eyes mocking. He scoffed. “Nothing. You’re a good actress. Just don’t do it again. I’m not interested in watching.” With that, he turned and left. **4** Mom closed the door. Willow, who had been holding it in all evening, was now crying, slumped over the table. Dad’s heart ached looking at her, and finally, unable to contain his anger, he slapped me. I wasn’t prepared and fell to the floor awkwardly. My head hit the corner of the table. It buzzed with pain. Mom clutched Willow’s shoulders, looking heartbroken and furious. She turned to me: “Lily, don’t blame your dad for being so harsh. Tonight, you truly, truly disappointed us!” “Did you forget Mom’s countless warnings?” “Why did you come downstairs without permission? Why did you talk to him? Are you really that pathetic?!” Blood dripped from the wound on my forehead, flowing into my eyes. My vision blurred into a crimson haze. Clutching the bleeding wound, I tried to explain: “I’m sorry, I thought he had left. I didn’t mean to…” Willow suddenly grabbed my collar, screaming hysterically: “Running downstairs dressed like that, deliberately parading your bare feet in front of him, even bringing out that junk box to get his attention, Lily, who are you trying to seduce?!” “Do you even know Christian’s standing? Do you know your own? How dare you even *think* about him?!” “Do you know that because of your indiscretion tonight, I might lose him?!” “Are you really that desperate for male attention? Seducing your own sister’s boyfriend!” With that, Willow opened the door and walked out. Mom desperately grabbed Willow: “Willow, where are you going at this hour?” Willow looked at me with hatred: “This house, it’s either me or her. If she stays, I leave!” Soon, the sound of a car engine starting echoed from the garage. Mom sighed deeply. Dad slammed the door in a fit of rage. I quietly spoke: “Should I stay out tonight?” Mom hesitated for a few moments: “Where would you go?” “I’ll stay at a hotel. I always stayed at hotels when I was abroad, I’m used to it.” Back then, I couldn’t endure the inhumane torment. Whenever I had a chance, I’d escape from the hospital. I’d stay in the cheapest motels. Trying to avoid the painful treatments they arranged for me. But Willow always found me quickly and brought me back. Mom was silent, then after a moment, she nodded: “Tonight was indeed your fault. So go stay out. Once your sister calms down, Mom will pick you up.” **5** In the hotel. Standing in front of the mirror, I carefully dabbed the blood from my forehead. The wound was a bit large; one bandage wouldn’t cover it. But it was so late, and I didn’t dare to leave the hotel room to buy bandages. Usually, I could never get enough sleep. Tonight, perhaps because of the stinging pain on my forehead, I found it hard to sleep. I had forgotten why I was sent abroad. I only remembered that, ever since I was little, Willow was always smarter, always more outstanding than me. Everywhere she went, she seemed to glow. That’s why Dad and Mom had the highest hopes for her. Willow became a child model at a very young age, and later, her image as a beautiful academic genius went viral. As for me, aside from having a similar appearance to her, I was useless. So, I understood my parents’ favoritism. I agreed with Mom and Dad’s approach, to allocate more resources to the capable Willow. But, was this favoritism the reason they sent me abroad? I remember when I was abroad, swallowing handfuls of pills and undergoing painful treatments, Mom told me over the phone that it would make me smarter. But I always felt that after returning from abroad, my mind was even worse. Besides being lethargic, my reactions were slower. Did Mom and Dad have to bring me back because the treatment failed? Did they dislike me even more because I was dumber? **6** During the day, I wandered the streets. At night, as soon as it got dark, I’d return to the hotel to sleep. I stayed at the hotel for a week, but Mom still hadn’t called me back. I was out of money. I sent Mom a SnapChat message. I found out she had blocked me. At noon, as I sat in the hotel lobby, spacing out. I saw a striking couple from afar, standing at the entrance of the indoor garden. The man was tall and well-built, his back to me, so I could only see his broad, straight shoulders. The woman had an hourglass figure, wearing an elegant long dress, her small face tilted up, smiling at the man. But I could only see half of her profile. I shook my head, wanting to see more clearly. But these past few days, I always had a headache, and things looked like they were seen through a fog. It only made the scene in front of me more atmospheric. I picked up my phone and captured this beautiful moment. But I forgot to turn off the flash, and the shutter sound was turned up to maximum. They quickly noticed me. The man’s jawline seemed to tighten. His gaze towards me was very hostile. I saw the two of them walking towards me, and I became so restless I couldn’t sit still. Until Christian and Willow stood over me, looking down. “Lily, what are you doing here?” Christian’s voice was still very cold. I looked at Willow, too scared to speak. Christian held out his long hand: “Give me your phone.” I nervously handed my phone to him. It was strange, he actually knew my password. Even I didn’t know what my six-digit password meant. I thought through everyone’s birthdays in my family, but none of them matched. Christian pulled up the photo, his eyes dangerously narrowed: “Why were you secretly taking pictures? Lily, what do you want to do to Willow? Are you trying to hurt her again?” I shook my head frantically, so nervous I almost cried: “No, I didn’t.” I knew Willow was better than me. I was so ordinary, so I never thought about competing with her for anything. But Mom said I once appeared at Willow’s new show premiere, dressed elaborately. A reporter said that Willow and I looked alike, but our temperaments were completely different. Willow was pure and refined. While I was seen as spirited and innocent, almost too good for this world. They said I had a wider range of roles. So, the lead role Willow had secured suddenly changed hands. In the end, I didn’t get to play it either. But Willow lost her chance to join the ranks of A-list actresses. That’s why Willow hated me, hated me for deliberately stealing the spotlight, for not wanting her to succeed. No matter how I explained, no one believed me. That day, I wasn’t trying to steal Willow’s glory. I just wanted to witness her success. I spent all my pocket money to rent an expensive gown, just so I wouldn’t embarrass Willow. Unexpectedly, it only made Willow look overshadowed. I really didn’t mean to. But no one believed me. Those days, everyone was against me. My family took turns expressing their disappointment. It was suffocating. Like a nightmare. I never wanted to experience that again. “Please believe me, I didn’t.” I helplessly clutched Christian’s sleeve, pleading. He frowned and said: “Lily, are you still faking it? You didn’t really lose your memory, did you?” “I don’t know, I don’t know if I’ve lost my memory, please believe me!” My memory was broken. Some things I remembered, some I’d forgotten.
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