The child I carried for nine months and gave birth to with great difficulty on the operating table, bleeding profusely, was given away to James’s childhood sweetheart by my husband before I even had a chance to see them. All because she wanted a child but couldn’t have one due to health reasons. I cried and begged, pleading with my husband to return the child to me. But he impatiently said I was being unreasonable, even calling me a complete shrew. For the sake of his childhood sweetheart, I gave in time and time again, until finally, I didn’t even have the right to see my own flesh and blood. I lost all hope and left the divorce papers. But when the truth came to light, James Carter refused to divorce, crying out desperately: “Honey, our child can’t grow up without a father!” “I’ve given the child to Emma Thompson to raise.” James Carter’s casual statement made me lose all ability to think. Enduring the tearing pain in my lower body, the child I had carried for nine months was given away to his childhood sweetheart, without me, the birth mother, even seeing them once. The pain spreading throughout my body made every nerve tense up. I suppressed my sobs and questioned him, “Is this what you meant by telling me the baby was in an incubator?” It had been over half a month since the child was born. Not only had I not seen them, but he didn’t even have a single photo of the baby! He knew how much I treasured this child. During pregnancy, I gave up my favorite foods and didn’t dare use any oils despite being covered in stretch marks. I even suffered massive blood loss during childbirth, receiving one critical condition notice after another. Is this how he treats me? If I hadn’t pestered him today, I probably still wouldn’t know where the child had gone! “Why are you making such a fuss? She can’t have children due to her poor health, while you’re so healthy. Besides, we’re still young. Once you’ve recovered, we can have another one.” James Carter spoke casually, as if the child was something dispensable. “Have you gone mad? That’s your own flesh and blood. How could you give them away without saying a word?” He looked down at me condescendingly, “Why are you being so unreasonable? The child wasn’t sold or killed. It’s enough that they’re alive and well in this world! Anyone can be a mother, right? Besides, your temper is so unstable, you’re not suitable for raising a child. In comparison, Emma is the perfect choice to be a mother!” My heart felt as if it was being squeezed by a large hand, a dull pain spreading through it. In James Carter’s eyes, anyone could be the child’s mother, except for me. But he knew that when I became pregnant, the first thing I did was buy picture books to read to the baby, saying it was to let them feel their parents’ love. It was also he who begged me to fulfill his wish and satisfy his desire to be a father. But after the child was actually born, he changed his tune, arrogantly accusing me of being emotionally unstable and unfit to be a mother. My emotional instability was all because of him. Who could bear having their own child given away to another woman by their husband? That was the child I had longed for, a piece of flesh that had fallen from my body. Tears fell uncontrollably, like pearls from a broken string. Even so, James Carter didn’t show any sign of softening. Instead, he impatiently said, “Cry, cry, cry. All you know is how to cry. It’s just a child, why are you making such a big deal out of it? You even started crying, how pathetic.” In the past, he couldn’t stand to see me cry. As soon as I showed any sign of distress, James Carter would drop everything to comfort me until I felt better. But now, he didn’t care at all, letting me cry and shout like a shrew.
He closed the door behind him, leaving with a light remark, “Calm down, don’t act like a lunatic. No one likes you like this.” The James Carter from before used to like all sides of me and never found me sloppy. But why did everything change after we got married and had a child? I held back my tears and picked up my phone, intending to distract myself, only to see that Emma Thompson had posted on Ins. It was James Carter holding the baby, gently comforting them. Unaware friends commented below: “Wow! Congratulations, you’ve been upgraded! When are you treating us to a celebration dinner?” “Mr. Carter is truly blessed, a happy family of three.” “Your wife is so kind and generous, which direction should I bow to find such a great partner?” So in their eyes, Emma Thompson and he were the perfect match, a match made in heaven. After giving birth, I ended up paving the way for someone else’s happiness. Is this the childhood sweetheart James Carter told me about, who grew up with him without any ulterior motives? Only a fool would believe that. He went to such lengths to put on an act, coming to the hospital every day to comfort me for a bit, lying that the baby was in an incubator, telling me to pump more milk to store for future use. I was so naive to believe what he said, happily storing milk, fantasizing about the baby growing chubby and healthy, and being discharged from the hospital together. Several times during this period, I asked him why he couldn’t stay with me more. James Carter would say that the baby was still small and needed his father by their side. But the hospital’s incubators are watched over by professional medical staff, when would it be his turn? James Carter used the excuse of accompanying the child, but in reality, he was spending intimate time with Emma Thompson, leaving me alone to wallow in endless longing for my child. I often had nightmares where my blood-covered baby cried heartbrokenly, asking me why I had abandoned them… In the dream, I explained a thousand times, saying I never abandoned them… It turns out there were signs all along. A man and a woman alone together, who knows what they might do. The more dejected I became, the more smug Emma Thompson grew, thinking she had achieved her goal. But I refused to let her have her way. I called James Carter, telling him to bring back the fresh milk, after all, it was my child. No matter how much I hated him, I couldn’t let the child suffer. He was initially unwilling, brushing it off by saying formula milk would do. “Honey, that won’t do. Since we’ve given the child to Emma to raise, we should go the extra mile. I’ve heard that babies fed with breast milk grow up healthier, more obedient, and are easier to take care of. It won’t give Emma any trouble either.” Upon hearing Emma Thompson’s name, James Carter rushed to my hospital without a second thought, afraid that she might suffer in the future. Seeing me so obedient, he seemed to feel a bit guilty and explained to me proactively for the first time, “I’m temporarily staying at her place to help take care of our baby. If anything unexpected happens, I can handle it.” But some things become more suspicious the more you try to explain them. At first, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with James Carter staying at her place, but after his explanation, I immediately understood. What should and shouldn’t have been done, they might have already done it all. I was just kept in the dark, unaware. As he was leaving, he kept looking back, finally hugging me and saying, “We’re still young, we can have more children. But Emma’s health is poor, she can never have children in this lifetime. Let’s just consider this as doing a good deed, accumulating good karma.”
Every word he spoke betrayed his concern for Emma Thompson, his eyes full of pity for her. He talked about how difficult her journey had been, how she was abandoned by her husband and despised by her in-laws for being infertile, finally leaving with nothing. James Carter sympathized with Emma Thompson but never once mentioned how difficult it had been for me. If James Carter truly loved me, how could he have let me get pregnant? Watching me suffer from morning sickness, endure back pain, and experience the terror of massive blood loss. After all, his eyes only had room for Emma Thompson, how could they accommodate me? James Carter ran off quickly, afraid that she would be lonely at home by herself. I missed my child desperately, but when I wanted to see them, I could only watch the videos on Emma Thompson’s Ins until they were worn out. I humbly and pitifully begged James Carter to bring the child to see me, but no matter how much I pleaded, James Carter refused. He only condescendingly sent me a few video clips, which was better than nothing… As long as the baby was doing well, I could bring them home anytime. My body was recovering day by day, and apart from when I provided breast milk, James Carter had little interaction with me. On the day of my discharge, James Carter surprisingly told me he would come to pick me up. But his words were all warnings, “I’m coming to pick you up only because you’re the child’s birth mother. Don’t try any tricks. The baby is being raised very well by Emma Thompson now, they’ve bonded closely. We’ll have another child in the future, and it will surely be as happy and blessed as this one.” I gave him one last chance, packing my things early and quietly waiting for James Carter to come pick me up. But I waited and waited, until the nurses were urging me to leave, until after the hospital had closed, and James Carter still hadn’t come. I signed the divorce papers, left them on the hospital bed, and took a taxi to Emma Thompson’s place. The two of them were holding the baby, feeding them breast milk. The baby was cooing, saying something incomprehensible. My feet felt as if they were filled with lead, unable to move. I masochistically watched the entire scene, my heart pierced with pain. James Carter held our child, making another woman happy, giving her the right to be a mother, while casually tossing aside his promises to me, even completely disregarding them. I returned home, physically and mentally exhausted, looking at the unopened wedding decorations, feeling that everything was extremely ironic. After an unknown amount of time, James Carter called, furiously questioning me, “Lily Evans, what the fuck did you leave those divorce papers for?”
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