I was lying on the operating table for a miscarriage when my parents were in a car accident. I had just lost the second child I was carrying for Zack Johnson. At my parents’ funeral, I called Zack again and again. Until his childhood friend Natalie Parker answered, her voice impatient: “Zack’s washing strawberries for me. What do you want?” Cradling the urn containing my parents’ ashes, my expression blank, I replied: “Nothing. Just tell Zack when you’re done eating the strawberries that I agree to the divorce.” I was alone when I took my parents’ bodies to be cremated. Along with the second child I had deliberately terminated, the one I had conceived with my husband, Zack Johnson. All my living relatives in this world were sealed into that small cremation chamber. Reduced to a handful of ashes. But it didn’t matter anymore. I was dying too. My parents were kind people in life, and many relatives and friends attended their funeral. The only person missing was the one who should have been there – my husband, Zack Johnson. My parents’ closest friend, my uncle, mentioned Zack’s name and shook his head in anger. He looked at me with eyes full of sympathy. They all said similar things: “The Wilsons were kind their whole lives, and in the end, they helped raise that ungrateful bastard Zack Johnson!” … Dressed in black funeral attire, I carried the urn as I walked to the burial site. The sky was overcast. My lower abdomen still ached dully. I gently placed my hand over it. It had once nurtured two unborn children. But alas… Never mind. Their father didn’t love me, so he naturally wouldn’t have loved them either. The wrist peeking out from my sleeve was dry, yellow, and emaciated. I remembered the doctor saying I only had three more months to live. In these three months, I wanted to take my parents’ and baby’s ashes to see the world one last time. Without Zack Johnson. I took out my phone and dialed the number I knew by heart. Again and again, with no answer. Until the 13th try, it finally connected. But it was Zack’s childhood friend Natalie Parker who spoke, her tone coquettish and demanding: “Girl, it’s 4 AM in Los Angeles right now!” In the past, I would have hysterically called her a bitch. But now my heart felt nothing. I just calmly said: “I need to speak with Zack about something.” Natalie snorted coldly, very impatient: “Zack’s washing strawberries for me. What do you want?” Before I could answer, she sneered again, “You’re keeping too close an eye on him, aren’t you? We just finished a big meeting, and Zack and I are both exhausted. Whatever you have to say, just tell me.” I was silent for a moment, looking at the urn in my arms, my expression blank as I replied: “It’s nothing. Just tell Zack when you’re done eating the strawberries that I agree to the divorce.” I hung up without waiting for her response. I had loved Zack Johnson for ten years and been bound to him in marriage for five. But I still couldn’t warm his heart. Now, I was choosing to let go. The next time I received a call from Zack Johnson was the following day. I was sorting through my parents’ belongings. On the other end of the phone, Zack’s tone was full of disgust: “Aria Wilson, what are you up to now?! I’ve told you many times, this trip abroad with Natalie is just to discuss business!” “You deliberately made Natalie cry last night, saying you wanted to divorce me because of her. Natalie cried all night. Do you find that amusing?” Natalie was truly the apple of Zack’s eye. He chose to believe such a clumsy lie. In the past, I might have explained myself pitifully. But now, if he wanted to believe it, let him. I carefully wiped my parents’ memorial photos, softly replying: “Mm-hmm, so when are you coming back? Let’s go to the registry office for the divorce.” But he stopped mid-sentence. A moment of silence. I thought he was considering the issue of property division, so I reassured him: “Don’t worry, I don’t want a penny from you. I’ll leave with nothing.” After all, I didn’t have long to live. I didn’t want Zack’s money – I found it dirty. But Zack gritted his teeth and snarled viciously: “Aria Wilson, I will never divorce you! Give up that idea!” Then he hung up abruptly. I was dumbfounded. Before he left the country, he had laid down harsh words: “Aria Wilson, it was your family who drove Natalie away back then. You’re the one who ruined her chance at happiness.” “If you keep making trouble like this, let’s just get divorced!” The reason he said such harsh things… Was because Natalie had smashed the urn containing the ashes of my first child. I had slapped her. When Zack heard the commotion and came to see what happened, upon seeing the ashes on the floor, he showed only disgust. Natalie explained through tears: “Zack, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I was just startled…” After hearing this, Zack slapped me on Natalie’s behalf. His tone full of revulsion, he said: “It’s already dead, why keep the ashes at home? It’s bad luck!” It was then that my heart finally died. He truly didn’t love me, to the point that he utterly despised even the child I had carried for him. So, on the third day after he left the country this time. I terminated my second pregnancy. It was a warm, sunny day. My parents had just attended my cousin’s wedding. They didn’t yet know I was pregnant, but they were very happy. Because they had just received an investment. With that money, the factory that had gone bankrupt could reopen. Just as I was about to call them, I suddenly received a voice recording from an unknown number. The recording contained only Zack Johnson’s voice. He said: “…Natalie’s brother’s leukemia is a ticking time bomb. Luckily, Aria is still useful. When the time comes, I’ll have another child with her. The baby’s umbilical cord blood can save a life…” I was thunderstruck. I always knew Zack didn’t love me. But I never imagined he would scheme against me to this extent! So I gave up. At that moment, my last shred of love for Zack Johnson dissipated. I went straight to the hospital for an abortion. But I never expected that my parents would be rear-ended by a dump truck. They passed away just like that. … Zack Johnson came home on the third day. By then, I had just returned from the hospital with medication. A bag full of painkillers. The doctor who prescribed them for me had a grave expression as he asked: “Mrs. Johnson, where is your family? These painkillers will only worsen your condition—” I curled my lips into a smile, my sunken cheeks squeezing out a faint grin: “I know, but my family is all gone. I don’t want to live anymore.” The doctor’s words froze, and he looked at me with pity. I wore the oversized coat my mother had bought me, but it still couldn’t cover the chill in my bones. I was sick after all, and my physical condition was too poor. I tightened the coat around me and opened the door to the villa, only to see Zack Johnson sitting on the sofa. When he saw me, he got up and walked over. But I instinctively stepped back, as if the noble aura surrounding him had hurt my eyes. The expectant look in his eyes was replaced by a thick layer of gloom. “Where have you been?” he asked, his tone cold and hard as he looked down at me. I blinked, ignoring the cufflink on his wrist, and said nothing. I had seen that cufflink on Natalie’s social media just two weeks ago. It was a birthday gift she had designed herself. Meanwhile, all the gifts I had given him over the years had been disposed of for various reasons. The handmade mug – given to his subordinate as an ashtray; The coat I had waited half a year to have made – used as a dog bed for Natalie’s pet; Even the ultrasound photo of our first child that I had carefully prepared – torn to shreds… For ten years, I had been chasing after Zack Johnson, caring for him, loving him. Now, I was tired. “Why did you go to the hospital? Why do you look so pale? Do you have a fever?” He frowned and came closer, raising his hand to feel my forehead, but I dodged him. “No need for Mr. Johnson to worry, I’m fine.” I lowered my eyes, suddenly understanding how Zack Johnson had felt before. So this is what it’s like when you no longer love someone – even trying to make conversation becomes exhausting. “It’s still early, we can make it to the registry office now.” I went back to the master bedroom to put away the medicine, then came downstairs with our household registration book. But I was met with Zack’s shocked expression. I asked him: “Didn’t you want a divorce? I agree, let’s go.” Zack’s face turned deathly pale in an instant. He seemed to have been struck in a sore spot, pointing at my nose in a rage: “Aria Wilson, what do you mean?!” “You Wilsons are all so selfish! Your parents saw my talent back then, and just because your family sponsored me for a few years, they forced me to marry you!” “They even used their power to force Natalie to study abroad at such a young age!” “Now that I’ve made a name for myself, your whole family is still greedy, wanting to take the money I’ve earned through divorce so you can run off with your lover?!” After his outburst, he looked like an enraged lion. His face contorted. But I couldn’t help but laugh, and I really did laugh out loud. The movement in my abdomen tugged at all my sore and aching muscles, making me laugh until tears streamed down my face. So, my parents, those good people who did charity work for years. Sponsoring the orphaned, excellent student Zack Johnson was wrong? My secret crush on Zack Johnson for ten years, begging my parents to secretly give projects to the entrepreneurial Zack Johnson, was wrong? My mother believing that Natalie’s artistic talent was more suited for a prestigious school abroad, sponsoring her to study overseas, was also wrong? … “Hahaha, yes, I was wrong…” I laughed until my chest ached painfully, my mouth filled with the taste of blood, “I’ve made a huge mistake in this life…” Zack seemed frightened by my hysteria. He stared at me coldly, grinding his back teeth as he spoke: “Tell me, was it your snobbish parents’ idea again this time?” “Tell them to come talk to me in person!” I closed my eyes, letting the tears slide down my face. Thinking of my parents’ bloodied bodies from the car accident, my chest was filled only with regret. Just then, there was a knock at the door. It was the uncle and aunt who lived next door. They were good friends of my parents but had long since settled abroad. Upon hearing of my parents’ passing, they had rushed back. The neighbor aunt’s eyes were red and swollen from crying. She trembled as she hugged me: “I’m so sorry, Aria, we came too late…” The neighbor uncle was also wiping away tears, choking out: “The Wilsons never did anything bad in their lives, how could they be gone so suddenly!” The grief and regret in their words didn’t seem fake. Seconds later, Zack’s disbelieving voice rang out: “Who did you say passed away?” I looked at Zack with red eyes and a cold smile: “You hate my parents so much, shouldn’t you be happy they’re gone?” But Zack opened and closed his mouth, unable to speak for a moment. The neighbor aunt didn’t recognize Zack. She seemed to remember something and asked me: “You didn’t end up with that boy your family sponsored back then? Sigh, when your factory wasn’t doing well and money was tight, your dad specially borrowed $3,000 from me to pay that boy’s tuition. He said that boy was very talented and would surely be successful in the future…” “Bang—” It was the sound of Zack bumping into the furniture. His face was pale, as if he couldn’t believe it. But I just tugged at the corners of my mouth and said to the aunt: “Let’s not talk about this. Auntie, let me take you to see my parents.” … At the cemetery, the neighbor aunt and uncle were crying their hearts out. My tears had long since dried up, leaving only a sour, swollen pain. Surprisingly, Zack had followed us. He looked at me somewhat at a loss. The now successful Mr. Johnson, the new elite of the city, also had such a flustered day. He looked down at me, his voice hoarse: “Why didn’t you tell me about Mom and Dad’s passing?” This was the first time since our marriage that Zack had referred to my parents this way. Even at our wedding banquet, Zack had only stiffly called them “Mr. and Mrs. Wilson.” Now that my parents were dead, he changed how he addressed them. How ironic. I avoided his gaze and said softly: “Do you remember what you said when my dad’s factory went bankrupt?” He froze, then seemed to recall something. His whole body shook, and panic flashed in his eyes: “I…” By then, Zack had already become the CEO of a listed company. He had also successfully brought his beloved childhood friend Natalie back to his side as his secretary. But my parents’ factory couldn’t keep up with the internet era and was gradually abandoned. In the end, it went bankrupt. Actually, before the bankruptcy, I had begged Zack for help. I was pregnant with our first child at the time. I went to his company to find him, my belly swollen with pregnancy, but I was stopped at the front desk on his orders. Everyone in the company knew that Zack Johnson despised his wife. So I was forced to stand at the entrance of the company. It was a rare heavy snow day in the city. I stood for three hours before I finally saw Zack coming downstairs, with Natalie nestled by his side whispering in his ear. By then, I actually no longer had any desire to compete with Natalie for his affection. I just wanted to beg Zack to save my parents, so I took stiff steps forward to plead with him: “Zack, can you please help my parents? They’re now—” But before I could finish speaking, Zack thought I had come to cause trouble for Natalie. He shoved me away and pulled Natalie into his arms. He sneered coldly: “Dream on. Even if your parents died, I wouldn’t spare them a glance!” My heart felt like it was being cut by a knife, and my belly cramped painfully. Zack hated me so much that he used great force to push me away. I fell sitting in the snow. I miscarried. From that day on, I decided. I would never love Zack Johnson again. “I…” Zack’s face was pale as he was about to say something, but he was interrupted by a familiar ringtone. It was the one he had specially set for Natalie. Zack promptly stopped talking and answered the phone. On the other end, Natalie’s voice was panicked and tearful: “Zack, what should we do? Gigi is hurt!” Gigi was the stray dog she and Zack had adopted together. Every time Zack and I were alone for more than a day, Natalie would use Gigi as an excuse to call Zack back. “You should go. I’ll see you at the registry office tomorrow morning.” I watched the flash of panic in Zack’s eyes and couldn’t help but laugh coldly inside. When I miscarried our child back then, he didn’t care at all. I turned to leave, not wanting to look at him anymore, but he grabbed my wrist. He said to the person on the phone: “There’s a vet clinic right downstairs. Take Gigi there yourself.” Then he hung up and looked at me suspiciously, “Why are you so insistent on divorcing now? Is it because Cameron Foster is back in the country?” I frowned at him, not understanding why he would bring up Cameron Foster, my high school classmate who had long since gone abroad. “Mr. Johnson, I—” I shook off his hand, wanting to explain, but felt a warm rush in my nose. The next second, Zack completely panicked. “Aria!” My last consciousness faded with Zack’s terrified shout. When I woke up again, it was in a VIP hospital room. A group of doctors surrounded my bed, with Zack in the middle, his face so ashen he could barely look at me. How strange. He clearly hated me so much, why would he react like this? I couldn’t be bothered to think about it. My whole body ached, even down to my bones. Actually, when I was first diagnosed, I was very scared too. I listened to the doctor and stayed in the hospital. But at night, the dark hospital corridors, the quiet room, the occasional groans of pain from nearby… I couldn’t take it. “It can’t be cured. I’m in the late stages of bone cancer. There’s no treatment.” I looked at Zack calmly, trying to persuade him, “You’ve earned so much money, keep it for Natalie. I don’t want any of it.” But Zack cried. This was the first time I had ever seen him cry. This tall man, nearly 6’3″, who always stood straight-backed when talking to me, always with his chin raised. Now he had lowered it. He hunched his back, half-kneeling by my hospital bed, holding my hands, his voice shaking: “Aria, please listen to the doctors and get treatment, okay?” I got a bit angry and pushed him away: “Zack Johnson, can’t you understand what I’m saying?! I said I won’t get treatment!” After marrying Zack, I had argued with him many times, invariably about Natalie. And without fail, Zack would always argue back. But this time, he trembled, his lips quivering, his eyes full of fear and unease. He shook his head and said: “Honey, please.” “Please stay alive.” I was stunned and tilted my head in confusion to ask him: “Zack Johnson, don’t you hate me anymore?” Zack looked as if he had been slapped out of nowhere. He covered his face with a bitter smile, his whole body shaking uncontrollably. He replied to me through tears: “I don’t hate you… I never hated you…” But I still took advantage of the night to pull out my IV and escape from the hospital. I didn’t believe Zack’s words. I went home and packed a simple suitcase. I didn’t have much time left. I wanted to hurry and see the world. But on my way to the airport, Zack found me. He drove his Porsche Cayenne, looking extremely disheveled as he blocked the taxi I was in. The frightened driver shouted: “Miss, do you owe him money?!” I tugged at the corners of my mouth in a faint smile: “Mm, I suppose you could say that.” Zack hadn’t changed his clothes, but his usually well-groomed hair was a mess. There were dark circles under his eyes, which were bloodshot. The moment he saw me, he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “Honey—” He ran over in big strides and gently pulled me into his arms, as if I were some fragile, precious object. I pushed him away, my eyes full of confusion and disgust: “Zack Johnson, can you please leave me alone? You clearly love Natalie, so stop bothering me, okay?” “I don’t have any umbilical cord blood left to save her brother!” Zack was dumbfounded. After a moment, he said with a pale face: “I… How do you know about this?” In the end, I still went back to the hospital. Because I fainted again while going through security. The doctor said my condition was very bad. The shock of losing my parents, combined with the effects of the miscarriage. If I didn’t get treatment, I would only live for another month. But Zack was stunned. In just two short days, he seemed to have lost dozens of pounds. He asked with red eyes: “…Miscarriage?” The doctor froze: “Yes, the tests show that Mrs. Johnson miscarried a three-month-old fetus.” Zack suddenly looked at me. He remembered. It was on his birthday. Also the anniversary of his parents’ death. By then, I had already decided to divorce him, so I didn’t prepare the birthday gifts and wishes I usually would have. I even had dinner with a lawyer friend I had known for many years, asking him to help draft a contract. But Zack came home drunk in the middle of the night. He forcefully had relations with me. Actually, I was willing too. Because it had been so long since he had shown a gentle expression in front of me. I was momentarily dazed and couldn’t help but indulge in that illusion of tenderness. Three weeks after that day, I discovered I was pregnant. But I also found that I had started getting nosebleeds from time to time. “I… I once had a child?” Zack asked softly. He seemed to have forgotten how to drink water; his lips were covered in dead skin. He looked at me, the sadness in his eyes so intense it seemed about to overflow, “Honey, why didn’t you tell me about this?” I remained silent. Then, shaking my head in his despairing gaze, I said: “You killed our first child with your own hands. Have you forgotten?” Zack looked like he was about to shatter. He suddenly stood up, his eyes full of terror. He said: “Impossible, that child… that child was actually—” I looked at him, blinking slowly. He suddenly seemed to realize something and rushed over, carefully avoiding my IV as he hugged me, muttering: “Never mind, let’s not think about it. Honey, please get treatment properly. We can have children in the future…” I ignored him and turned to go back to sleep. Love that comes too late is cheaper than grass. I don’t want it anymore. The days of chemotherapy were monotonous. Fortunately, the times I was conscious grew shorter and shorter. Zack had arranged for me to stay in a VIP single room. Every day, there would be flowers by my bed. Yellow roses, my favorite. Zack seemed to have resigned from his job, spending all day by my hospital bed. In my hazy state, I thought I heard his subordinates reporting some work matters to him. “…In those years, Mrs. Johnson indeed never had any intimate contact with Mr. Foster… Moreover, Mr. Foster seems to… prefer men…” I turned over in pain, my consciousness sinking into a fog. Of course Cameron liked men. In our sophomore year of high school, he had even planned to give Zack a love letter, but I beat him up for it. The days passed in a blur.
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