On our eighth Christmas together, I took a knife for my doctor boyfriend Joel Lawrence. He promised I could ask for anything in return. Everyone thought I’d use this chance to propose. Instead, I said calmly: “Let’s break up.” Then I turned and walked away. Joel just laughed mockingly and made a bet with everyone: “She’s just trying to get attention. I bet she’ll come crawling back, begging me to take her back within three days.” But he was wrong. Because I had a secret—I’d been reborn. In my previous life, I did propose successfully, but Joel’s first love jumped off a building and killed herself. He took all his anger out on me. On our wedding night, he slashed my face and locked me in a dark, cramped basement. After I got pregnant, he forced me to eat massive amounts of fruit every day. By the time I went into labor, the baby was too big for me to deliver. I died from hemorrhaging and tearing during a difficult birth. I was reborn back to the day I took that knife for Joel. This time, I’d give him exactly what he wanted. ***** In the surgeon’s office, the sharp pain in my arm brought me back to reality. The nurse finished wrapping the last layer of bandage and gently reminded me not to get it wet for the next few days. Joel, sitting in his office chair, sneered: “It’s just a scratch. When did you become so delicate?” I didn’t respond. The other doctors in the office exchanged glances, their expressions telling. They’d all been there when I got stabbed. The attacker was Marc Dean, who’d been released from prison last Christmas. Marc was a big guy with a brutal face. The knife that slashed my arm was 12 inches long, leaving a gaping wound that took over twenty stitches. And Marc’s original target had been Joel’s heart. My silence infuriated Joel. His eyes turned cold, frost covering his handsome face. “Julia Perry, don’t push it. I said you saved me and could ask for anything in return. Isn’t that enough? You’re still going to give me attitude?” I don’t know when it started, but Joel—who’d grown up with me—now only spoke to me with the arrogance and disdain of someone looking down on their inferior. All his tenderness went to Nola Moon, the orphan he’d sponsored during flood relief efforts. I looked away from the pink bunny hair tie around his wrist. Swallowing the bitter pain in my chest, I looked up at him with a smile: “Anything I want?” Joel froze, seeming to think of something. He glanced at the hair tie on his wrist, panic flashing in his eyes before he quickly suppressed it. He gritted his teeth with slight irritation but still nodded reluctantly: “Yes.” Joel’s classmates in the office immediately started cheering: “Then Mr. Lawrence should just marry Julia!” Others joined in with laughter: “Yeah, Mr. Lawrence, you two have been together for eight Christmases. It’s time to get married.” “I’ve already got your wedding gift ready. When’s the ceremony?” Listening to their teasing, I was about to ask Joel for a breakup. Suddenly a young nurse burst in and said to Joel: “Something’s wrong—Miss Moon is trying to kill herself!” I fell silent. Nola was threatening suicide again. If I counted right, this was Nola’s 108th suicide attempt. This was exactly when Nola had threatened suicide in my previous life. The moment the nurse finished speaking, Joel rushed out. He ran to the hospital rooftop. On the roof, Nola’s eyes were red and swollen, her small face pale and delicate. She wore Joel’s white dress shirt, her smooth, slender legs visible beneath it. I suddenly remembered that when Marc attacked Joel, she’d been there too. While I was focused on taking the knife for Joel, he’d held her tightly in his arms. When she came out of Joel’s break room, she’d been wearing this same white shirt—the one I’d given Joel. “Julia took a knife for you, so you promised to grant her any request. Julia loves you so much, she’ll definitely propose to you. And you’ll definitely say yes, won’t you? “I’m sorry, Joel. When I think about losing you for the rest of my life, I’d rather die.” Nola’s tears fell in big drops, each one hitting Joel’s heart like a hammer. “Come down first, let me explain.” Joel was frantic, his deep voice full of heartache. Joel cared about everything concerning Nola. Joel said she was a lovely little girl who liked pink. So the birthday gift he’d originally planned to buy me—a pink Dior bag—became her reward for passing her college finals. She was afraid of thunder. So on countless nights, with just one phone call from her, Joel would rush to her side. Once, when he was attending my grandfather’s funeral, there were no flights that night. Hearing Nola crying on the phone, Joel lashed out at me: “Your grandfather couldn’t even pick a decent day to die!” I remembered when Joel first confessed to me, he said he’d always unconditionally favor only me. But when 26-year-old him met 18-year-old Nola, all his favoritism went to her. In my previous life, I was blinded by jealousy and ended up with a tragic fate. In this life, I don’t want him anymore.
My thoughts were yanked back to reality by Nola’s hysterical sobbing. Joel had saved her. The two of them clung tightly together, their lower bodies pressed close. I felt a wave of nausea. Joel was still shaken. His lips trembling, he kissed the top of Nola’s head over and over again. “Thank God you’re okay…” Nola sobbed uncontrollably, her whole body shaking. “Will you marry Julia? If you will, then you should have just let me die.” Joel gently wiped the tears from her cheeks, his gaze toward me deep and intense. “Marriage doesn’t mean anything. In my heart, you’ll always come first.” With that, he let out a long sigh as if forced into a corner, his eyes downcast. “After all, Julia has been with me for eight years. I don’t love her anymore, but she saved me when I was drowning years ago, and she’s been willing to take care of me ever since. I can’t be ungrateful.” His words left everyone present stunned. I had saved Joel from drowning years ago, which naturally led to us being together. But that was ancient history. He always assumed I’d use that favor to demand things from him, but if I’d known he’d turn out like this, I wouldn’t have saved him then or now. The pitying glances constantly thrown my way were getting on my nerves. I let out a cold laugh. “Joel, I’m busy. When are you going to keep your promise?” Joel sneered at my words, contempt flashing in his eyes. “Are you that desperate to marry me?” He gently stroked Nola’s earlobe to comfort her, then said dismissively to me, “Fine, tell me when you want to get married. Since you’ve used every trick in the book to marry me, then I’ll…” I quickly cut Joel off. “Let’s break up.” Realizing what I’d said, Joel’s head snapped up to look at me, surprise and anger gradually crystallizing in his eyes. “You want to break up?” Ignoring the delight in Nola’s eyes, I looked calmly at Joel, whose brow was deeply furrowed. “Yes.” “What kind of scheme is this now?” Joel didn’t believe me. He sneered. “You’ve been following me around like a dog since high school, impossible to shake off. Now you finally have a chance to marry me, and you’re saying you want to break up? Julia, stop lying, okay? You’re still wearing the ring I gave you.” As if he’d caught me in a lie, his expression was full of smugness. He seemed certain I’d never be willing to leave him. But I calmly removed the ring and casually tossed it off the rooftop. “I forgot to throw it away. Thanks for reminding me.” This was the birthday gift Joel had bought me with his first scholarship money during freshman year. It had both our initials engraved on it. Once, when I was in a car accident and completely unconscious, my hand was still clutching this ring tightly. Joel knew how much this ring meant to me—as much as he himself did. But now, I had thrown the ring away. Joel frowned. Even so, he still didn’t believe I would break up with him. He sneered, “Julia, I don’t care what game you’re playing, but I’m telling you—if you apologize to me right now, I’ll pretend none of this ever happened. If you want to marry me, I’ll still agree.” I smiled faintly. “Joel, I hope we both get what we want from now on.” With that, I turned and walked away. As I was leaving, I heard Nola ask Joel, “Aren’t you going after her?” Joel laughed coldly. “I’m not chasing her. She’ll come crawling back. How could a woman who went to such lengths to get pregnant with my child bear to leave?”
Yes, I was pregnant. That time when Joel and Nola had their fight, he got drunk and mistook me for Nola. We slept together. I got pregnant shortly after. Joel knew about it too. I got pregnant shortly after. Joel knew about it too. In my past life, I used the fact that I had saved him to force him into marrying me, which drove Nola to suicide. Then he kept forcing me to eat. If I refused, he’d pin me down and make me eat. My belly grew bigger and bigger. When it came time to give birth, he wouldn’t take me to the hospital. In the end, I had complications during labor because the baby was too large. I still remember that pain—it made my hands and feet tremble. I screamed at the top of my lungs, my eyes bloodshot, using every ounce of strength I had, but I just couldn’t deliver. Finally, I hemorrhaged to death. When I died, blood pooled beneath me. The baby got stuck and suffocated. Back home from the hospital, I touched the little life still moving in my belly. I thought: “It’s time to end all of this.” I went home and slept for four hours. Four hours later, I received a message from Joel. Joel: [My mom is sick. Come to the house.] Joel was a bastard, but his mother Lily Lawrence was good to me. My parents had been close friends with his parents since Christmas. Later, my parents passed away. Lily treated me like her own daughter. But the tone of this message clearly wasn’t Joel’s. I knew Joel’s texting habits too well—he never used punctuation. There was no way Joel sent this. This was obviously from Nola. Only Nola would dare touch Joel’s phone so casually. Even though I knew it was a trap, I went anyway. When I arrived at the Lawrence mansion and opened the door, a bucket of ice water was dumped over my head. The bone-chilling cold instantly surrounded me, and my lower abdomen suddenly cramped with pain. Mocking laughter erupted from what had been a quiet house. I opened my eyes to find a group of young Christmas men and women standing in the mansion, looking at me with ridicule. Nola stood among them. “Make her kneel.” Someone immediately kicked me down from behind. Nola smiled contemptuously. “Do you know how much Joel hates you? You slut, you secretly got pregnant with Joel’s child behind my back.” She picked up a bottle of liquor nearby. “You only know how to use these tricks to keep Joel tied to you. Today I’m going to make you regret getting pregnant with Joel’s child.” With that, Nola raised the bottle of liquor in her hand. Nola thought I would be scared. But I wasn’t afraid at all. In fact, when Nola forced the liquor down my throat, I obediently drank it. I drank the entire bottle without leaving a drop. I didn’t want Joel anymore, so I didn’t want this child either. After finishing, I asked Nola: “Got any more?” Nola called me crazy. Then she picked up a red-hot curling iron nearby. She raised the curling iron toward my eyes. Just then, someone screamed in terror: “Blood! She’s bleeding so much!” The severe pain in my lower abdomen made my face turn pale. Nola realized something. She panicked for a moment, then became even more vicious. She threw down the curling iron and, while everyone was still in shock, stomped on my belly with her foot. Blood instantly splattered everywhere. I didn’t even have time to cry out before I completely lost consciousness. I didn’t even have time to cry out before I completely lost consciousness. I didn’t even have time to cry out before I completely lost consciousness. In the hospital office, Joel was reviewing patient files. Just then, a nurse rushed in frantically, clutching a surgical consent form. “Dr. Lawrence, there’s an emergency! Ms. Perry, she…” Joel cut her off immediately. “We broke up. Don’t mention her in front of me.” The nurse looked anxious. “But she was just brought in by ambulance in critical condition. She’s pregnant and hemorrhaging badly. We need to get blood bags from another hospital. You have to sign this consent form right now!” Joel glanced at her dismissively, took the consent form, and tore it to pieces as the nurse watched in shock. “You think I’d fall for such a pathetic lie?” Joel sneered. “Julia’s even bought off the people around me now. She loves me so much—how could she possibly lose my child? Even if she’s dying right now, I won’t sign that consent form.” With that, he brushed off the nurse who tried to grab his arm and walked away. To avoid any further interruptions, he turned on his phone’s Do Not Disturb mode. He stayed out until after ten that night. When he finally turned off Do Not Disturb, over a hundred missed calls instantly flooded his screen. Even Spencer Cox, the director of the hospital where he worked, had called him countless times. This made him frown. He thought, “Julia actually got to Spencer? She’s absolutely shameless!” He called Spencer back to apologize, but Spencer only said coldly, “Get your ass back to the hospital. Now.” Spencer hung up. Though Joel didn’t understand what was happening, he drove to the hospital anyway. He just ignored the pale, anxious expression on Nola’s face in the passenger seat. Joel’s work had always earned Spencer’s appreciation. This was the first time Spencer had ever reprimanded him so harshly, so he was furious and wanted to settle the score with Julia. The moment he stepped out of the elevator, someone slapped him hard across the face. Joel raised his hand to strike back, but froze when he realized it was his own mother. He was stunned. “Mom? What are you doing here?” Lily’s eyes were red and swollen as she screamed at Joel, “You monster! Why didn’t you sign the consent form? Do you have any idea that because of you, Julia hemorrhaged from her miscarriage, and because treatment was delayed, she even had to have her uterus removed?”
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