After my rebirth, I, Phoebe Collins, decisively severed all ties with Walter Welch. He chose to live on the east side of town, so I bought a house with its own yard on the west side. We were separated by half the town’s distance. When he occasionally brought his child to my house for dinner, I would lock myself in my room, pretending to be sick to avoid seeing them. When I learned he had voluntarily applied to transfer to our factory, I submitted my resignation overnight and left for New York. All because in my previous life, I had loved him for forty years, and been blamed by him for forty years. He always compared me to his first love, Ana Greene, believing I had ruined his dream of becoming factory director. Even before my death, he was already making grand preparations for his wedding with Ana. Even Austin Welch, my stepson whom I had raised with such care, was busy helping with the arrangements. Only I lay alone on my deathbed, waiting for death by myself. Living again, I never wanted to experience such a failed life a second time. ***** “Phoebe! You’re still dozing off here? Ana asked Walter out alone again!” “Phoebe, wake up!” I opened my eyes to urgent calls. The roar of textile machinery mixed with several people’s shouts quickly flooded my eardrums, and the faded slogans on the wall made my eyes ache. I thought: “Ana? Walter?” “What are you standing there for? Go quickly! Ana’s taking advantage of being the factory director’s daughter, specifically asking Walter out when you’re working the night shift!” “If you don’t stop her, Walter’s going to say yes!” Several female workers pushed me toward the door. Passing by the window, I happened to see Ana not far away, pushing her bicycle while talking to Walter about something. Walter’s face showed an embarrassed expression, and his gaze kept glancing toward our direction. I was thunderstruck and quickly broke free from the crowd to check the calendar. The calendar clearly showed April 15, 1980. I had actually returned to forty years ago, and it was precisely the day that would change my fate. I remembered the previous life had the same scene. Ana confessed to Walter and invited him to bring Austin to the park the next day. I had always thought years of devotion could earn his response. I shared my wages with him, and he never refused, so I thought he had accepted our relationship by default. Moreover, he had told me many times that Ana always pestered him, making him feel annoyed and troubled. So under my coworkers’ instigation, I grabbed a wrench and rushed to the two of them, beating Ana in front of half the textile factory workers. What I didn’t expect was that in the security office afterward, Walter blamed me for being too impulsive. He insisted he never felt Ana was bothering him, had never agreed to be with me, and even personally treated Ana’s wounds in front of everyone. Later, I was transferred to do menial work for three whole years because I had offended Ana, until her father’s embezzlement was exposed and I could return to my position, but my treatment was far worse than before. Now that heaven had given me a chance to start over, I couldn’t possibly be foolish enough to repeat the same mistakes! I turned around and put the wrench back in the toolbox, the metallic clang startling everyone. I said indifferently: “What’s it to me? One’s an unmarried man, the other’s an unmarried woman. Isn’t it normal for them to want to develop a romance? Why should I interfere?” The room instantly fell into dead silence, and Gianna Michell was so shocked she dropped her cup on the floor. After all, everyone knew I had liked Walter for a long time. I had liked him since he was young. Even after he married someone else, I never let go of those feelings, just buried them deep in my heart. After his wife died, I devoted everything, spending most of my monthly wages on him and his son. For someone who loved him so deeply to suddenly say she was letting go, no one would believe it. Gianna said: “Phoebe, you… you’re not confused with anger, are you? Walter might just be too embarrassed to refuse her, you…” “Gianna, stop.” I interrupted her, my tone more determined than ever before. “I admit I did like Walter before, but now I’ve figured it out—feelings can’t be forced. I should also start planning for my own future. I can’t spend my whole life chasing after someone who doesn’t think much of me, don’t you think?” Since I spoke so decisively, they couldn’t persuade me further. They just stood at the door watching me leave, whispering among themselves, probably guessing whether I had been stimulated by something. I pretended not to hear and walked past the two people nearby, my gaze meeting Walter’s across the distance. In that look he gave me, I finally understood—it was the smug expression of someone expecting two women to fight over him.
I wasn’t in the mood to worry about whatever was going on between Walter and Ana. I just never expected him to show up at my door. I had just finished washing my feet and was getting ready for bed when I heard loud knocking at the door. When I opened it, there was Walter standing in the moonlight, wearing that familiar expression of wanting to say something but holding back. “Phoebe, I… I need to talk to you.” His eyes kept darting into my room, while I stood in the doorway without stepping aside. “It’s late. Whatever it is, we can talk about it at the factory tomorrow.” “Just a few words!” He suddenly raised his voice, then quickly lowered it. “It’s about what happened with Ana today… She asked me to take the kids to the park this weekend, and I said yes…” I said “Oh” and casually turned around to put away my washbasin. After waiting forever for my reaction, his tone suddenly became urgent. “Don’t you have anything to say about this?” I looked at him with confusion. “Say what? Have fun? Oh right, don’t forget to bring an umbrella – the weather forecast says it might rain this weekend.” Walter’s hands clenched into fists, his knuckles turning white. When he looked up again, his brow was deeply furrowed. “Phoebe, what’s that supposed to mean? I came all the way here this late at night to tell you this, and that’s your attitude?” “What’s wrong with my attitude? Isn’t it perfectly normal? What other attitude did you expect me to have?” I simply sat down and looked at him calmly. Walter was stunned for a moment, seemingly surprised by my reaction. After all, I was the one who used to chase after him saying “Walter can only be mine,” the one who wouldn’t let him get too close to Ana. I was the one who would use money to keep him by my side whenever I caught him getting too close to Ana. He pressed his lips together, sensing something was different about me, and actually took the patience to explain: “That’s not what I meant. I just didn’t want you to misunderstand, so I came to tell you. Ana and I are just ordinary colleagues. I only agreed because I didn’t want to be rude and refuse her. Oh! The factory is going to assign housing, and I’m planning to apply for that unit on the west side of town, just to be closer to you. We could even walk to and from work together. What do you think?” My eyelid twitched slightly as I looked up to meet Walter’s smiling face. If this were the past, I would have been incredibly grateful, thinking he truly cared about me. But in this life, I had already seen through it all – this was nothing more than his manipulation. He always gave me just a little hope when I was feeling discouraged, making me think I could finally capture his heart, so I’d willingly give him everything. But in the end, all my hopes were dashed. I shook my head, put my water cup on the table, and said, “No need. I’m always in a rush going to and from work – I don’t have time to wait for anyone. It’s getting late, you should head back before people see us together and start gossiping.” Walter’s face changed dramatically. Thinking I was still upset about Ana, he immediately widened his eyes. “Phoebe! Are you still mad about Ana asking me to the park? I already told you I just couldn’t refuse her. Why are you being so petty!” “Is that so?” I interrupted him. “So when you gave Ana that scarf last Christmas, that was also because you couldn’t refuse? And bringing her breakfast every day last month was also because you couldn’t refuse? Since when do people go out of their way to be ‘unable to refuse’?” His face turned pale, his lips trembling uncontrollably. “You… you were following me?” I let out a cold laugh. “The textile factory is such a small place – do I need to follow you? Besides, what’s our relationship that would make it worth my effort?” “Then what gives you the right to interfere in my business!” He suddenly raised his voice, his finger almost touching my nose. I slowly moved closer to him, my eyes ice-cold. “I should be asking you that question. If we have no relationship, why did you come here in the middle of the night to explain yourself to me?” Walter’s chest heaved violently, and his eyes actually turned red. That look used to break my heart for half the winter in my past life, but now it just seemed ridiculous. Finally, his face flushed red as he spat out “Phoebe, you don’t know what’s good for you” and stormed off angrily, slamming the door so hard the whole room shook. I stood by the window until his footsteps completely disappeared, then pulled out a neatly pressed housing application form from the bottom of my drawer. In the “Preferred Address” section, I carefully wrote “East Side of Town.” In my past life, he had indeed chosen that house on the west side, seemingly for me, but actually to make it more convenient to boss me around. I washed clothes, cooked, and took care of the kids at his place, working like a servant without complaint. And what did he do? He took the kids on dates with Ana. So in this life, I absolutely had to stay far away from him!
After that day, Walter and I never spoke again. I was quite satisfied with this arrangement. I’d been planning to draw clear boundaries with him anyway—the sooner, the better. But he seemed to always hover around our group of colleagues, intentionally or not. When he saw I was ignoring him, he’d storm off in a huff. After this happened several times, even the people around me started noticing something was off. Then came the day of housing assignments, and the conference room was packed. I sat in the corner, listening to a few veteran coworkers tease me. “Phoebe, I heard Walter chose that place on the west side. You’re so lucky!” “And here I was worried when you two seemed to be fighting the other day! Now you’ve really got to seize this opportunity.” Gianna nudged me with her elbow, grinning mischievously. Isabel joined in the teasing: “Exactly. You’ll be living so close to each other. When you get married, don’t forget to treat us to dinner!” I just smiled without responding, looking down and fiddling with the pen in my hand. If this were my past life, hearing these words would have made me incredibly happy. Now, I only found them ironic. “Quiet! Quiet! We’re about to announce the housing assignments.” The supervisor tapped the table, and the conference room fell silent. I glanced up at Walter sitting in the front row. He was nervously gripping his pen, occasionally turning back to look in my direction. The supervisor announced: “West Side Building 3, Unit 2, Apartment 302 is assigned to Walter.” The conference room immediately erupted in cheers and whistles. Gianna slapped my shoulder hard: “Phoebe, did you hear that? Right next door to you!” People around us chimed in, with all the conversation revolving around Walter and me. Walter stood up with a red face: “Everyone, please don’t make assumptions…” His voice lacked conviction, but his eyes couldn’t help drifting toward me. The supervisor coughed again and said: “Quiet! Also, considering that Phoebe will be moving to the standalone house on the east side, which is far from the factory, we’ve decided to adjust her shift schedule. Scarlett Ellis, please switch with her.” As soon as these words were spoken, the conference room burst into excitement. Everyone turned to look at me. Gianna said in surprise: “Phoebe, you’re moving to the east side?” I nodded, catching a glimpse of Walter’s face changing instantly. His notebook fell to the floor without him even noticing. After the meeting, before the crowd had fully dispersed, Walter was already blocking the doorway. He grabbed my sleeve: “Phoebe, why didn’t you tell me you were moving?” I slowly pulled my sleeve free: “Why should I tell you? Weren’t you the one who said I had nothing to do with you?” His expression changed immediately, his lips trembling slightly: “You… you’re lying to me, aren’t you? You’re trying to make me worry, right?” I didn’t respond, just glanced at him and walked around him toward the exit. His anxious voice called from behind: “Phoebe! Stop right there!” I didn’t turn back, and my steps didn’t falter for a moment. Back home, I started packing my belongings. There really wasn’t much. In my past life, most of my savings had gone into Walter’s bottomless pit. While packing, I suddenly heard the courtyard gate being pushed open. Austin stood at the entrance, looking unhappy: “Ms. Collins, you’re moving away?” I continued tying up boxes without looking up: “Yes.” “Then who’s going to cook for us? Who’s going to spend money on us?” He spoke as if it were his right, just like his father. I straightened up and looked at this Austin, whom I’d raised like my own son in my past life: “Whoever wants to spend money on you, go find them.” Austin was stunned for a moment, then shouted at the top of his lungs: “Dad! Ms. Collins is being mean to me!” Walter immediately rushed in from outside: “Phoebe, what’s your problem? What did Austin do to you?” I picked up the last box and headed outside: “No problem. I just don’t want to spend money on you anymore.” The moving company was already waiting at the end of the alley. I threw the box into the truck and looked back at the small courtyard where I’d lived for ten years. In my past life, I’d refused to move just to stay close to Walter. Looking back now, I was truly foolish then. As the truck started, Walter ran to the side of the vehicle, panic in his voice: “Phoebe! Are you… are you really moving away?” I didn’t answer directly, just opened the car door and told the driver: “Let’s go.” I saw Walter standing there in the rearview mirror, his face pale as a sheet. Austin was anxiously saying beside him: “Dad! If she leaves, who’s going to buy us new backpacks?” I rolled up the window and gave him a cold glance. I didn’t care who they’d have to find—I was done serving them. Since I was moving, the factory gave me a few days off as a special exception. So I hadn’t seen Walter for quite some time. On the last day of my vacation, I prepared a lavish spread and even made a special stew, planning to treat myself. Just as I was about to start eating, there was a knock at the courtyard gate. It was Walter, and he’d brought Austin along. Austin shouted, “Ms. Collins! Open up!” I walked into the courtyard with my plate and asked through the gate, “What do you want?” “Ms. Collins, my dad says they didn’t cook at home today, so he brought me here to eat at your place.” Austin spoke as if it were perfectly natural, even pushing hard against the gate. Through the gap, I could see Walter standing behind him, carrying an empty plate. This scene was all too familiar. It had repeated countless times in my previous life. Back then, I’d longed to get closer to Austin. Having them come to my house for dinner felt like a tremendous honor. I would have gladly brought out all the meat in my house for them to eat. Little did I know, both of them were ungrateful bastards. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and deliberately coughed a couple of times. “I’m not feeling well today. You should go eat at the cafeteria.” Walter quickly said, “Oh? What’s wrong? Did you catch a cold? Phoebe, open the door and let me take care of you.” Walter moved closer, and through the gap I caught a glimpse of his fake concerned expression. He’d always been the one being served by others—how would he know how to take care of anyone? I refused directly. “No need. I’ve already taken medicine. I need to rest, so you should go back.” “Wait! I have good news to tell you!” Walter panicked and knocked on the door a few more times. “The factory approved my transfer request. Next week, I’ll be transferred to your textile department as a worker!” I stopped in my tracks. I’d heard about this a couple of days ago and thought someone was joking. I didn’t expect it to be true. He continued, “From now on, we’ll be colleagues in the same department. Since we’ll be close by, we can look out for each other.” There was a hint of barely detectable flattery in his tone. But I remained unmoved. “No need.” With that, I turned and headed back inside. Behind me, Walter suddenly raised his voice. “Phoebe! What exactly do you mean? I’ve gone this far—what more do you want?” I ignored him and went inside, closing the door. Outside, it was quiet for a moment, then I heard Austin complaining, “Dad, I’m hungry!” “All you know is eating!” Walter suddenly exploded. “Go home!” Listening to their retreating footsteps, I slowly savored the delicious meal I’d prepared, then sat at the table and filled out my resignation letter. Early the next morning, I went straight to the supervisor’s office. The supervisor was deeply puzzled by my decision to quit and reluctant to let me go. He spent nearly an hour trying to persuade me, talking about current policies, the factory’s development prospects, and even renegotiating my salary and benefits. Seeing my firm resolve, he finally sighed. “Think it over some more. I’ll keep your resignation letter here for now.” I got up to leave, and just as I opened the office door, I saw Walter standing outside with bloodshot eyes. Apparently, he’d heard our entire conversation inside. He said, “You’re resigning? Why? Is it because I’m transferring over? Phoebe, didn’t you used to say you really hoped we could work together, that we could walk home slowly together after work? Why?” “Like you said,” I forcibly interrupted him, walking past him with an expressionless face, “that was before.” Walter said angrily in embarrassment, “Phoebe! Is this really necessary? Ever since I agreed to go out with Ana last time, you’ve been avoiding me. You just want to be with me and don’t want me talking to other women, right? I’ve already agreed to your terms. Stop being so cold, okay?” He was finally starting to panic, becoming anxious and restless when he realized I was truly leaving. Too bad I wasn’t playing hard to get—I genuinely didn’t want anything more to do with him. I turned to look at him. Walter’s eyes were filled with tears as he grabbed my arm, not letting me leave. Colleagues in the hallway were already looking our way. I shook off his hand and said in a low voice, “Walter, you want to be with me, but I don’t want that anymore. So please, have some self-respect and stop grabbing at me.” He pulled his hand back as if burned, tears streaming down his face. “Fine! Go ahead and leave! Don’t come back once you’re gone!” Without him having to tell me, I left him behind without looking back, my mind focused on buying a train ticket to New York as soon as possible. In this lifetime, I was determined to live for myself.
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