On my birthday, Jerry made an excuse about urgent company business and left me alone in the hospital with a high fever. But that evening, his first love posted a photo of the two of them with a giant cake. The caption read: “Someone who truly loves you will always come to celebrate your birthday, no matter how important their other commitments are.” No one liked the post because everyone knew she posted it specifically for me, Jerry’s official girlfriend, to see. I didn’t cry or make a fuss, I simply commented: “Why don’t you two just get married then!” When Jerry left me alone in the hospital, I had a fever of 103°F, I didn’t complain or make a scene, I just waited in the hospital for him to finish work so we could celebrate my birthday together. I waited all night, but all I got was Ivy’s Instagram post. Jerry was standing next to Ivy, with a three-tiered cake between them. [Someone who truly loves you will always make time to celebrate your birthday with you, no matter how important their other commitments are.] I immediately called him and we had an argument. “Don’t be ridiculous, Ivy wasn’t feeling well and needed me to keep her company because she was emotionally unstable.” “I just see her as a little sister, can you stop being so dirty-minded?” He hung up on me and didn’t contact me for several days, he told me the company had an urgent matter that needed his attention, and he’d come celebrate my birthday with me once he finished dealing with it. I had a high fever for several days that wouldn’t break, but my mind was unusually clear, I started to reflect on our relationship and whether it was really worth continuing. This wasn’t the first time we’d argued because of Ivy. Every time, Jerry would use the same excuse to shut me down: “I just see her as a sister. Don’t overthink it.” Every time, I would be the one to give in first, but these past few days, I found I didn’t miss him at all, I wasn’t anxious or irritable. I slept unusually well. Perhaps because I wasn’t making any conciliatory gestures, Jerry called me first for once. “I’ll come pick you up from the hospital this afternoon.” “No need to trouble yourself, I can take a cab home.” This was the first time Jerry had taken the initiative to make peace, but I didn’t take the bait, I wasn’t looking at my phone, just lying in the hospital bed catching up on sleep.
I was well-behaved and obedient, packing up my things and taking a cab home by myself. Jerry still wasn’t back. I didn’t call to ask where he was or urge him to come home like I usually would, I just cooked myself something to eat, had a full meal, took a shower, and went to bed. With no one on my mind to worry about, I slept comfortably and had pleasant dreams. Early the next morning, I heard the sound of the keypad lock, Jerry pushed open my bedroom door. “Susie?” “Hmm? You’re back?” I didn’t rush to greet him joyfully like I usually would, I just rolled over and went back to sleep. He was still standing in the doorway. “Ivy had another episode yesterday. I was worried something might happen to her, so I was delayed a bit. Sorry.” “Mm.” My tone was flat. Jerry tried to explain, “I know you’re angry, but Ivy really needed someone with her.” I laughed and glanced at him. “Angry? What’s there to be angry about? A brother taking care of his sister – isn’t that normal?” Jerry was silent for a moment. “Susie, I know I’ve been neglectful lately…” “Go get some sleep,” I interrupted him. “I need to catch up on my rest too.” Jerry felt inexplicably irritated. I had never been this cold to him before. When I woke up, I saw a table full of breakfast dishes. Jerry had cooked himself. I was quite surprised. In the past, I would always pester Jerry to cook for me, but he would impatiently wave me off. “Susie, do you really have to eat something I cooked? You’re not a child anymore. Can’t you just cook for yourself?” “I’m exhausted from work every day.” But he, who was even more exhausted from work, could still run to Ivy’s house to cook a big meal for her with just one phone call. So it wasn’t that he was too tired from work. He just didn’t want to cook for me. “Susie, I made all your favorites. Hurry and freshen up.” “Mm, thank you for your trouble.” After washing up, Jerry personally served me rice and soup. This was treatment I had never received before. Jerry put a piece of eggplant in my bowl. “Susie, this is the eggplant you love. Eat more.” I smiled and put the eggplant back in his bowl. “I’ve never liked eggplant. It must be Ivy who likes it. You got mixed up.”
“But you used to…” Jerry stared at me, stunned. I peeled some shrimp and started eating on my own. Every time Jerry and I went out to eat, he would always order a dish of eggplant. But eggplant wasn’t something I loved. I just pretended to like it because he served it to me, and I would finish the whole plate. A phone call came in. Jerry stood up anxiously. “Susie, I’m afraid I can’t stay for the meal. Ivy’s having another episode.” “Go ahead, it’s fine. She’s more important.” I kept my head down, focused on eating, not bothering to look at his expression. Every mealtime, Ivy would use the same trick to lure Jerry over. The clever Jerry was always willing to play along. After eating my fill, I packed the leftovers into containers and put them in the fridge. After taking a few days of sick leave, I finally returned to work under Claire’s repeated urging. Claire came to me with a transfer order. “Susie, are you sure you don’t want to go develop your career at headquarters in Beijing? The resources there are much better than here.” I had refused Claire many times before. “Beijing is too far from home. I’d get homesick.” Actually, I was afraid of leaving Jerry. I often fantasized that if I went to develop my career in Beijing, Jerry would be heartbroken without me. But thinking about it now, he probably wouldn’t be. I had waited all these years just to marry Jerry and have our own little family. But Jerry had never brought up marriage. He always found excuses to put it off. “Susie, I’m not stable enough yet. Once I’m stable, I’ll go propose to your family.” “Claire, I’ve thought it through. I want to go to Beijing.” Claire was a bit surprised, since I had refused her many times before. “What? You’re willing to leave Jerry now?” I shook my head with a smile. “I’ve thought it through and decided to broaden my horizons.” Yuri called and asked me to go out drinking with her. I agreed. It had been a long time since I had hung out with friends after getting together with Jerry. Yuri put her arm around my shoulders. “That’s more like it. You need to relax sometimes too.” Yuri and I drank until late into the night. I ended up staying over at her place. When I woke up in the morning, I had over a dozen missed calls and messages from Jerry. I called him back. Jerry’s voice was tinged with anger. “Susie, where did you go? I called you all night.” “You never used to stay out all night before.” I yawned, acting nonchalant. “I went out drinking with Yuri last night. It got late so I just crashed at her place.” “Susie, what kind of attitude is this? Do you know how worried I was all night?” Even through the screen, I could feel Jerry’s anger. In the past, when he went out for business dinners and got drunk, ending up staying at Ivy’s place, I would wait up all night for him, calling countless times and sending countless messages. In the end, all I got was his flippant response: “Why are you so worked up? It’s just one night I didn’t come home.” I stretched lazily. “Jerry, why are you so worked up? It’s just one night I didn’t come home after going out drinking.” “Alright, alright, I’m heading back now.” Jerry’s tone softened. “Susie, I’ll come pick you up. Let’s go out for a meal together.” “Okay.” I waited for a long time outside Yuri’s building. Taxis passed by one after another. “Miss, do you need a ride?” I shook my head. “No thanks, someone’s coming to pick me up.” It was only about a 15-minute drive from home to Yuri’s place, but I waited for over half an hour before finally seeing Jerry’s car. There was a familiar figure sitting in the passenger seat. The window rolled down and Ivy poked her head out. “Susie, I’m sitting in front. You don’t mind, right?” I got straight into the back seat. “Of course not.” “The power went out at Ivy’s place. I figured since three people eating is the same as two, I might as well invite her along,” Jerry said, glancing at me in the rearview mirror. I shrugged indifferently. “That’s fine, the more the merrier.” Jerry frowned slightly. He felt like he couldn’t read me anymore. In the past, if he had brought Ivy along, I definitely would have thrown a tantrum. But this time, not only did I not make a fuss, I didn’t even care that Ivy was sitting in the front passenger seat. Jerry peeled several shrimp and put them in Ivy’s bowl. Ivy took a few and put them in my bowl. “Susie, don’t be mad. Jerry is just like this – he always thinks of me first.” I smiled faintly. “Why would I be mad? You two have such a good sibling relationship.” Seeing this, Jerry awkwardly peeled a few shrimp for my bowl too, but I didn’t eat them. The waitress brought in the last dish, looking at Ivy enviously. “Wow, miss, you’re so lucky. Your boyfriend is so attentive to you.” Jerry frowned with slight displeasure, but Ivy seemed quite pleased. “Susie, you’re not angry, are you?” Ivy was clearly doing it on purpose, trying to provoke me into a frenzy, but I refused to take the bait.
“Why would I be angry? You two look quite good together standing side by side.” I smiled brightly, as if it had nothing to do with me, and just focused on eating. “It’s a pity, really. If I hadn’t gotten sick, maybe Jerry and I would have already…” Ivy put on a regretful expression. Jerry cut her off, “Ivy! Watch what you’re saying!” Seeing Jerry’s cold face as he slammed down his chopsticks, Ivy immediately put on a pitiful look. “I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come to disturb you two. I’ll leave.” She covered her face and cried. Jerry seemed to feel he had been too harsh. He gave me a troubled look. “Go after her and check on her. Don’t let anything happen to her,” I said proactively. Jerry immediately stood up, leaving with the words, “I’ll go take a look. I’ll come back to take you home in a bit.” “Mm, thank you for your trouble.” I continued eating. It would be a shame to waste such a big table of food. After eating my fill, I contentedly took a cab home by myself, because I knew Jerry wouldn’t be coming back. As soon as I got home, Jerry called. “Susie, where did you go?” “I came home,” I said flatly. “Didn’t I say I’d come pick you up to go home?” Jerry’s tone held a hint of resentment. “I figured you wouldn’t be coming back, so I just took a cab home. I had nothing else to do anyway.” In the past when I asked Jerry to pick me up, he would always make excuses. “Why can’t you just go home by yourself?” “You’re free anyway, what’s wrong with going home by yourself? Can’t you see how busy I am?” There was silence on Jerry’s end of the phone. I hung up directly and leisurely applied a face mask. As I had predicted, Jerry didn’t come home again all night. But I still slept soundly. Surprisingly, when I woke up, Jerry had already prepared breakfast. “You’re up. Come eat.” It was rare for Jerry to cook so frequently. I drank some congee as Jerry looked at me with a complicated expression. “Susie, do you know what time I came home last night?” I shook my head. “No, why?” In the past, if it was past 10 PM I would call Jerry to ask when he was coming home. But recently, not only had I not called him once, I didn’t even care what time he came home. It was like I had become a different person. Even when he smoked a whole pack of cigarettes at home, I only mildly said, “Smoking is bad for your health.” Sometimes I didn’t even notice. Jerry felt uncomfortable all over, like something was missing. “Susie, we’re both adults. If you have something to say, just say it. Don’t be like this.” Jerry finally couldn’t hold back and spoke up.
“What is there to say? I’m full. I need to go to work.” I finished the last bite and stood up to leave. “I’ll drive you. Susie.” Jerry offered to drive me to work for the first time. In the past when I asked him to drive me, he always made excuses. “How can you compare yourself to Ivy? Ivy needs me to drive her because of her health issues.” “I’m already so tired. Can’t you be more obedient?” “Okay, thank you.” “Susie, why did you suddenly become…” Jerry’s expression was complicated. I had been very strange these past few days. I became very polite, more and more sensible, but it gave him a feeling of loss and uncertainty. I took the initiative to sit in the back. Jerry had already opened the front passenger door. He stared at me in shock. “Susie, why are you sitting in the back?” I smiled. “What’s the difference?” In the past, Jerry wouldn’t let me sit in the front passenger seat. I would argue and fight with him. “Why can Ivy sit there when I’m your girlfriend!” Jerry would respond wearily, “Do you really have to fight over this with Ivy, who’s sick? Can’t you be more sensible?” When we arrived at the company, Jerry called out to me. “Susie, there’s a company dinner tomorrow. Family members can come too.” “Oh? That’s nice.” I stretched and looked at him indifferently. “Family members can come, Susie.” Jerry frowned at me. “You can come with me.” I would never miss opportunities like this in the past. I was eager for everyone to know that I was Jerry’s girlfriend. Jerry rarely brought me to these events before, and seldom introduced me as his girlfriend to others. “Okay.” I nodded and went back to the company. Claire handed me the transfer notice. “Are you really sure about this?” “I’m sure. I want to go to Beijing.” I signed without hesitation. I still hadn’t told Jerry about this, but there was no need to tell him anymore.
I had just gotten into Jerry’s car when I saw Ivy. “Susie, you don’t mind, do you? I begged Jerry to bring me along. I’ve never been to these kinds of events before.” Ivy had one arm linked with Jerry’s, and he didn’t push her away. It was as if I was the outsider. “It’s fine. Why don’t you two go then? I still have some documents to deal with.” I smiled faintly. Jerry frowned. “Susie, you already agreed. Now you’re not going…” “Isn’t Ivy going with you? You two can go, it’s fine. Ivy is your sister, so she counts as your family member too.” I glanced at the time. “Just drop me off at the company entrance.” Jerry drove irritably to the company building. I went in without looking back. “Jerry, is Susie angry?” Ivy leaned on Jerry’s shoulder. Jerry snapped angrily, “Whatever.” I leaned back on the sofa. My phone buzzed with a notification from one of my special follows. Ivy had posted on Instagram. It was a photo of her leaning on Jerry’s shoulder. [Caring is always being willing to bring me along, no matter when.] Ivy liked to post on Instagram. I had set her as a special follow just to keep an eye on her interactions with Jerry. Now I felt there was no need for that anymore. I casually unfollowed her. Ivy posted this specifically for me to see. No one liked it. Everyone was waiting to see how I, the official girlfriend, would react. I didn’t care. Soon it wouldn’t matter anymore. “Susie, Jerry got drunk and fell asleep at my place.” Ivy called me using Jerry’s phone. “Mm, then I’ll trouble you to take care of him.” Ivy made this call just to show off to me. Ivy and Jerry were childhood sweethearts. Technically speaking, she was Jerry’s first love. Later she got sick, and Jerry’s mom wouldn’t allow them to be together. She became the one that got away for Jerry. I started to wonder if Jerry’s initial reason for being with me was just to appease his mom. I took a shower, watched some movies, and went to sleep. In the middle of the night, I got a call from Jerry. “Susie, I’m drunk.” “I know. Ivy will take good care of you.” Hearing no response from the other end, I hung up and went back to sleep. In the past, whenever I got a call that Jerry was drunk, no matter how late it was, I would immediately go pick him up and bring him home. I would even forbid him from drinking. But he would complain impatiently to his friends, “She’s really annoying. She tries to control everything and doesn’t give me any freedom.” “This kind of relationship is suffocating. Not like Ivy – she’ll party with me and never restricts me.”
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