Because of their business, my parents sent me to live with my Grandma Sarah in rural Kentucky, and they didn’t bring me back until I was eight. Dad told me to be more obedient and sensible, while Mom warned me not to use “tricks that won’t get you anywhere in life.” My sister Amanda made it clear I wasn’t worthy of touching her princess dress, and my brother Eric outright said I shouldn’t have come back at all. Finally, on my nineteenth birthday, I left that house just as they wanted. But then, they regretted it. They begged me to come home, and I just shook the hand I was holding onto. “Sorry, but I’ve found a new family.” By the time I returned to the Grant Family Mansion in Chicago, it was already dark. Apart from the security guard at the front, no one noticed my arrival. My family was enjoying dinner together in the dining room, laughing and chatting like nothing had changed. I opened the door to my room. I had been staying in the dorms at the University of Illinois for the past month, and no one had cleaned here. A thin layer of dust covered everything. I wasn’t surprised. I pulled out some tissues from my bag and wiped down the chair and desk before sitting down. Then, I took out the medical report from my bag. The words “tumor” stared back at me. Suddenly, an overwhelming wave of exhaustion hit me, a weariness that had been buried deep inside for so long. Now it was all crashing over me, suffocating me. The smell of dinner wafted in from the dining room, but all I felt was nausea. My name is Jessica Grant, the third child of the Grant family, the “new money” family in Chicago. But my position in the family has always been awkward. Unlike my older sister Amanda and my older brother Eric, who grew up with my parents, I was raised by my grandmother in rural Kentucky. Grandma Sarah didn’t care much for me. She made sure I had clothes to wear and food to eat, but beyond that, she was hands-off. When she had money, she’d go play Bingo, and when she lost, she’d take it out on me, shouting and berating me. Every time that happened, Aunt Karen, our neighbor, would come over and stop Grandma. She’d take me to her house and comfort me, just like a mom would in those TV shows. When I was eight, the Grants finally brought me back. On the car ride home, I couldn’t stop thinking—would my mom be as kind and gentle as Aunt Karen? But I was just a child then, too young to realize that if the Grants had truly cared about me, they wouldn’t have just sent a driver to pick me up. I’ll never forget my first day at the Grant Mansion. I stood there in the grand, elegant foyer, awkwardly tugging at a dress that didn’t fit right. I’ll also never forget how cold my mother’s gestures were and the way she looked at me, as if I were a burden. For over a decade, I tried so hard to win their approval, because I envied them. I wanted them to love me the way they loved each other. When I first received the diagnosis, it didn’t even register. The doctor’s words buzzed in my ears, but I couldn’t process them. The doctor, noticing my young age, suggested I call my family so we could discuss it together. It was like waking from a dream. I took out my phone and called my mother. The phone rang for what felt like an eternity before going to voicemail. I swallowed, then tried calling my father. This time, the call was immediately declined. I felt like a robot as I tried dialing another number, but then my mother called back. I was so relieved when I answered, but the voice that came through wasn’t what I expected. “Stop calling so much. If you have something to say, text me. Your father and I are busy.” I didn’t know how to respond. Before I could say anything, she added, “And don’t call your brother or sister. They’re busy with important things.” Then the line went dead, and all I could hear was the beeping of the phone. I opened Instagram and scrolled through my brother Eric’s latest post. It was a picture of the four of them at a company event, smiling with the caption, “Family of four at the grand opening! Yay!” It was in that moment I realized: all my efforts, everything I had done to win them over, had been meaningless. Maybe we were never supposed to be a family in the first place. The doctor must have seen the look on my face, because he gave me a sympathetic smile. I forced a weak one back and told him I’d come back tomorrow. I made up my mind. I’d go back to the mansion, pack up my things, and leave. That place wasn’t my home. I sat in the chair for a moment, taking a deep breath before I started packing. Most of the things were mine anyway, things I had bought myself. It didn’t take long to pack up my suitcase. The only inconvenience was running into Eric on my way out. He raised an eyebrow at my suitcase, just like he always did. “What, you’re back? Going back to school already?” I nodded, trying to brush past him without engaging. He didn’t understand why I was being so cold. Normally, I’d be calling him ‘big brother’ and begging for his attention. Searching his memory, he thought he found the answer. “What’s your problem?” he said irritably. “We were busy this afternoon. That’s why we didn’t pick up the phone.” “I’m not mad,” I replied, gripping the handle of my suitcase tighter. I didn’t want to argue. I just wanted to leave. At that moment, Dad came over, noticing the tension between us. “What’s going on here?” he asked, frowning. “Nothing,” Eric said lazily, stepping toward Dad. My father scolded him lightly for not showing respect, but it was more indulgent than harsh. “She’s just having a little tantrum. Wants to run away from home, that’s all.” It wasn’t until then that Dad really looked at me, his eyes moving to the suitcase in my hand. His expression darkened. “If you leave, don’t bother coming back,” he said. And just like that, Amanda appeared, looking as put together and impatient as always in her tailored suit. “If you’re going to leave, then leave,” she said, her tone as cold as Eric’s. Amanda had never liked me. In her eyes, I was beneath the Grant family, too small-minded, too unpolished to belong. I checked my phone. My Uber had arrived. I nodded to the three of them and walked out, pulling my suitcase behind me. Leaving the Grant family wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.
I didn’t go back to my dorm. It was too late, and the doors would be locked by now. Instead, I booked a room at a nearby hotel and crashed for the night. At some point, my roommate Amy called to ask how my medical tests went and if I was planning to come back to the dorm. I brushed off the first question and laughed, “Nah, it’s too late to head back now.” She wasn’t fully convinced, but she let it go after making me promise to text her in the morning. My mom also texted me, telling me that we’d have to “discuss my attitude” when I came home for break. I blocked her number. The hotel bed was cold, but it was also comfortable. I blocked the rest of the Grant family’s numbers too, then pulled the covers over my head and fell into a deep sleep. In my dream, I was eight years old again, meeting Amanda for the first time. She was so beautiful in her princess dress, and I wanted to talk to her, but she walked away without a word. It was like that for the next few days. I didn’t dare approach her directly, so I just followed from a distance. “Mom!” I saw Amanda run into our mother’s arms from the crack in the door. The way Mom smiled at her was nothing like the look she had given me on my first day at the mansion. Amanda pouted, “Jessica keeps trying to touch my clothes. I don’t want her to.” “She’s not allowed to touch my dresses,” Amanda added. Mom didn’t say anything, just patted Amanda’s head. Eric stood nearby, sulking. “She shouldn’t have come back. Why did you even bring her back, Mom?” “There was no choice,” Mom sighed. “Your grandma is sick.” I woke up in a cold sweat, sunlight streaming through the hotel window. I wiped my forehead and checked my phone. It was already the next morning. As I brushed my teeth, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Details from the dream flashed through my mind. I realized I had never forgotten those things; I had just buried them deep inside. Amanda and Eric had done well in school and gone off to top universities overseas. I didn’t want to disappoint my parents, so I studied hard and got into a good local college. Honestly, I preferred literature, but since my brother and sister chose science, I followed their path. My mother knew I was staying up late to study. She never encouraged me, just said, “Don’t bother trying to compete with your brother and sister.” Eric laughed when he found out. “You worked this hard and only got into that school?” I knocked on my head, trying to shake off the thoughts. When I arrived at the school office, the counselor noticed how pale I looked. “Not sleeping well?” he asked. “A little.” I wasn’t as strong as I used to be, especially after my diagnosis. I handed him the paperwork I had prepared. “I’m going to take some time off.” He glanced over the medical file and gave me the same look of sympathy the doctor had. As he signed the forms, he asked, “Do your parents know?” “They know.” I didn’t want to talk about it. Luckily, he didn’t press the issue. Before I left, he reminded me that my classmates would be waiting for me when I returned. To be honest, I hadn’t spent much time with my classmates this past year. They probably wouldn’t even remember my name. As I packed up my things from the dorm, my roommates came by to help. One of the more outgoing girls hesitated for a while before asking, “Is it because of your health?” “I overheard your conversation with the counselor…” Another one joined in, and soon three pairs of eyes were fixed on me. There was nothing to hide. I nodded and admitted it. One of them immediately teared up. “Hey, it’s not a big deal. I’m not dying anytime soon.” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood. I hadn’t known these girls for long, but their concern was already more than what I’d received from the Grant family. “Don’t say that!” one of them cried, putting her hand over my mouth. “That’s bad luck.” I promised to stay in touch, and the three of them helped carry my bags to the gate, tears still streaming down their faces. Why had I spent so long trying to earn the love of the Grants? I had saved up money to buy expensive gifts, memorized their favorite meals, and been their go-to listener when they were stressed. I tried so hard to be part of their world. But in just one year, my roommates had shown me more care than I’d ever received from my family. As I stood there, my phone buzzed again. It was my father’s secretary calling, but before he could even finish his sentence, I hung up. How could I have forgotten? My father never called me directly. Anything he needed was always passed through his secretary. I went through my phone again and deleted every contact related to the Grants. The doctor had recommended I go to Houston Medical Center, where they were better equipped to handle my type of tumor. I didn’t want to die just yet. That night, I booked a flight to Houston. The next day, with my diagnosis in hand, I flew to Houston alone and checked into the hospital. At Houston Medical Center, I underwent another round of tests. The tumor had spread, but it was still within manageable limits. They scheduled chemotherapy before surgery. Compared to others in the hospital, I was lucky. I had the money I’d saved over the years, and there was a good chance I could beat this cancer. From down the hall, I heard a woman’s anguished screams. The sound made me snap back to reality. Next to me sat a small girl, pale but with bright, curious eyes. She heard the crying too and instinctively scooted closer to me. The woman, disheveled with one shoe missing, burst into the exam room, grabbing the doctor by his collar. “Give me back my son’s life!” she screamed, her voice thick with sobs, acting like a madwoman.
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