My husband and I got married not too long ago, and right after, his parents started traveling extensively. Over the past two years, they’ve practically toured the entire country, spending their entire retirement pension each month. I’ve often suggested to my husband that he should encourage them to save some money for their future. However, he always responds with frustration, “Are you planning to live off my parents? Why do you keep worrying about their finances? As their children, it’s our responsibility to support them in their old age—otherwise, what’s the point of having children?” Despite my genuine concern for them, I was misunderstood. So, I stopped bringing it up. I thought it was fine as long as they didn’t impose financial burdens on us. But I was too naive. With their spending habits, how could their pension be sufficient? In the living room, my aunt placed a box of candies on the table and got straight to the point, “Charlie, your cousin is getting married this July, and I was wondering when your mom plans to return the seventy thousand she borrowed from me last year.” My husband and I were taken aback, filled with questions. He quickly asked, surprised, “Aunt, did my mom borrow money from you? I wasn’t aware.” My aunt waved her hand and explained, “Your mom asked me not to tell you when she borrowed money, saying she was short on cash and needed a few tens of thousands. It wasn’t just me; your uncle and another aunt also lent her money. I wouldn’t have pressed for repayment, but with your cousin’s wedding coming up, I need the money back. When I called your mom, she said she didn’t have it and told me to ask you.” My heart sank, and my expression turned grim. My in-laws receive a combined nine thousand in retirement pension monthly. It’s one thing to spend it all, but borrowing money as well? My husband sighed deeply, his face darkening, “Aunt, give me your bank account details. I’ll find a way to gather the money and transfer it to you in the next couple of days.” “Alright, I’ll send you the account info when I get home. I’ll be on my way now.” My aunt left smiling, relieved that my husband agreed to repay the money. I struggled to keep my anger in check as I awkwardly saw her out. Once the door closed, I was so upset that I clutched my churning stomach in distress. “Husband, what’s going on with your parents? How is their pension not enough, and why are they borrowing from everywhere? I told you they should be more frugal. Look at what’s happening now.” His expression was equally troubled, and he said irritably, “Alright, enough nagging. I’ll ask them later.” Annoyed, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and started smoking, then called his parents to come over. When it comes to his parents, my husband doesn’t let me say a word. Frustrated, I left to take care of our child. My in-laws have been self-centered their entire lives, never considering their children. When my husband and I got married, my family asked for a bride price of fifty thousand, which my husband saved from working. His parents didn’t contribute a cent, not even for the wedding expenses. They acted like hands-off managers. Later, when we bought a house, my husband put in all his savings and borrowed a bit from friends, managing to gather two hundred thousand. My parents also contributed two hundred thousand to help us. Initially, I thought of asking my mother-in-law for some help, which would ease our loan pressure. But she dismissed me, saying she had no money and that “no one should think about her retirement savings.” And now, this… I suddenly felt extremely stressed about our future. “Quick, Alex, make me some food; I’m starving,” my mother-in-law’s voice came from outside. As soon as I came out, she bossily asked me to make her food. I didn’t agree. My husband made tea for his parents and served it: “Mom, I called you over today to clarify something. Did you borrow money from Aunt and Uncle? Aunt came today saying you borrowed seventy thousand from her last year.” Hearing this, my father-in-law looked around guiltily without speaking. My mother-in-law paused for a few seconds, then said matter-of-factly, “Oh, I almost forgot. Yes, I borrowed seventy thousand from your aunt last year. I’m a bit tight on cash now; you should help me pay it back.” My husband asked incredulously, “Mom, how can two people’s monthly retirement pension not be enough?” Seeing him angry, she tried to change the topic, “What? I’m your mother, and I can’t spend some money? We have a retirement pension and never asked you for money before. You have no idea; my friend group, their sons give them money every month. Look at you!” My husband ignored her, and I couldn’t hold back: “Those parents also help their kids buy houses and cars! We don’t expect money from you, but at least don’t drag us down!” My mother-in-law dismissed my words, “I’m talking to my son. Why are you butting in? I didn’t ask you to pay.” “You…” I was about to argue when my husband grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, his eyes full of disapproval. Though angry with his parents, he disapproved of me, the daughter-in-law, arguing with them. I was also fired up and thought, “Fine, I won’t hold back either.” I pulled my hand away and sat down somewhere else. My husband rubbed his forehead in frustration, trying to keep his voice calm: “Just tell me, Mom, how much do you owe altogether?” My in-laws exchanged a glance. My husband stared at them intently. My mother-in-law hesitated, “About… about two hundred thousand.” “What? You owe that much? What are you doing with the money, spending or burning it? I told you to spend less every month. Two hundred thousand is my yearly salary. Do you think I’m immortal or something?” My husband stood up in anger, pointing at my in-laws. “Don’t be mad. Just help us pay it off, and we won’t spend recklessly anymore,” my mother-in-law said timidly, scared by my husband’s anger. “Pay it off? Where am I supposed to find the money? I still have to pay the mortgage and car loans every month,” he retorted, annoyed, and sat back down. The living room fell into a strange silence until my mother-in-law turned her attention to me: “Alex, didn’t your mom give you money when she babysat for you? She must have some cash. Why don’t you borrow from her?” When I was postpartum last year, I initially wanted my mother-in-law to help with the baby and offered her five thousand a month, but she was too busy traveling to agree. So I had no choice but to ask my mom. She refused to take money, and after much persuasion, she only accepted three thousand a month as a token, often buying things for me and the baby. That money supposedly went to my mom but ended up with us. Yet, she willingly took care of the baby. I clenched my fists, controlling my emotions: “Mom, I wanted to pay you for watching the baby, but you refused, so I asked my mom. She didn’t want to accept money, only taking three thousand symbolically. And with all the things she buys for the house, the money doesn’t even end up with her. How can you think of borrowing from her?” My mother-in-law wouldn’t listen, using her age to argue, “You talk a good game. Would you let your mom lose money? Who knows how much you gave her secretly? Besides, the baby is her grandchild too. Asking for money hurts the relationship.” When it’s not their problem, they don’t care. I sneered, “You’re noble! You talk about relationships! The baby is your grandchild too, shouldn’t you care without asking for money?” “You… you dare talk back to me, I’m still your mother-in-law. Son, control your wife, she’s disrespectful.” Flustered by my words, my mother-in-law changed the subject, feigning authority. “Alright, stop arguing. Mom and Dad, you can go back. I’ll figure something out,” my husband interrupted our quarrel impatiently. “Charlie, I knew you were a good son, so filial. Leave that money to you,” my mother-in-law cheered up, pleased, and complimented my husband before leaving with my father-in-law, leisurely. I sat quietly, blaming my husband. Our family isn’t well-off, and he just takes on more burdens. With the in-laws’ extravagant spending habits, they’ll just borrow again after we pay this off. When will it end? After thinking for a while, I couldn’t help but speak, “Husband, are you really planning to help your parents pay off this debt? What if they borrow more later?” He took a drag from his cigarette and replied dismissively, “What else can I do? They’re my parents. If I don’t help them, who will?” “Then you should pressure them a bit. Maybe have them save three thousand from their pension each month before spending the rest. It’s not a big burden and could help them develop a habit of saving, just in case,” I suggested, having thought about it for a while. After all, it’s not good for the elderly to have no money at all. “After all, my parents raised me, and I have a duty to support them. Since they have a pension, I haven’t given them money before. This time, helping with the debt is the least I can do. I’ll think about your idea and discuss it with my mom.” I finally spoke my mind about something that had been on my mind for a while. It’s not ideal for elderly parents to be without financial security. “After all, my parents raised me, and I have a responsibility to support them. Since they always had their retirement pension, I never actually gave them money. But this time, helping them pay off their debt is the right thing to do. I’ll consider what you said and discuss it with my mom.” My husband tends to take charge at home, and I’ve usually kept quiet about it. But this time, I couldn’t hold back: “You should discuss it with your mom. Even if we set aside three thousand dollars a month, the remaining six thousand should be enough for your parents. Otherwise, we’re under a lot of financial pressure, and paying back the debt won’t be quick.” My husband looked at me for a moment and sighed, then agreed to talk to his parents. I felt a bit relieved because my aunt urgently needed those seventy thousand dollars. My husband eventually used our savings to pay off his parents’ debt. Fortunately, after this, he followed my suggestion and helped his parents set aside three thousand dollars from their pension each month. Initially, my mother-in-law was unhappy, often complaining about the lack of money. But she eventually quieted down, and I thought she had come around. I was wrong. She and my father-in-law showed up with their luggage, ready to move in. “Charlie, your dad and I decided to stay with you for a while, and I can help with the baby. I don’t need much, just four thousand dollars a month.” I knew nothing came free with my in-laws. The baby was easier to care for now, and my job allowed me to be home often. My mother occasionally helped when I was busy. My mother-in-law’s offer to help with the baby was just a way to get paid. Seeing that my husband and I didn’t respond, she continued: “The baby is my grandchild too, and I miss him. They say there’s a special bond with grandchildren. Plus, if I come, I can help with housework, and Alex won’t be as busy.” Fearing my husband might agree, I quickly intervened: “Mom, the baby is easy to care for now; I can manage on my own. You and Dad are getting older, so it’s better to rest at home. Honestly, we can’t afford an extra four thousand dollars a month.” My words reminded my husband of our financial strain after helping with the debts. We didn’t have much savings left, and the mortgage and car loans were a significant burden. My husband hesitated: “Mom, I can’t give you four thousand dollars a month anymore. After helping with the debt, our expenses are tight. Besides what we spend on the baby, Alex and I hardly spend anything on ourselves.” Hearing her plan wasn’t working, my mother-in-law was displeased: “Son, can’t you spare even three thousand dollars? If not, three thousand is fine, but I won’t do housework for that, and you’ll have to cook for yourselves.” Seeing my husband at a loss, I joined in: “Maybe, Mom, you could handle the rest of the debt yourself? We really can’t provide extra money.” My mother-in-law was taken aback, and my husband seemed to be considering the feasibility of this idea. Worried about being saddled with the debt, my mother-in-law quickly backtracked: “No need, I don’t want the money. But, son, six thousand a month isn’t enough for us. Let us move in with you.” As soon as she said it, she and my father-in-law headed to the guest room with their luggage. Seeing my husband didn’t object, I angrily threw my things into his arms: “What are you thinking? Letting your parents move in is just causing trouble. I was managing the baby alone, and now I have to care for your parents too?” My husband tried to reason: “There’s no other way. My parents want to live with us. I can’t just turn them away; people would gossip.” I rolled my eyes: “Anyone can see your parents are staying because they can’t manage on their own, turning me into a maid for your family.” Hearing me criticize his parents, my husband became serious: “Enough. It’s natural for parents to rely on their children. Don’t worry, they’ll stay for a week, then I’ll send them back. I can’t send them away the same day they arrive with their luggage.” Though upset, I realized he had a point. Forcing them to leave today would make us look bad to the neighbors. “Remember what you said, okay? Send your parents back after a week.” I conceded. Once my in-laws moved in, it was as I feared. Because I didn’t agree to pay my mother-in-law, even though I was already overwhelmed, she refused to help. She waited for me to cook all meals and was picky about the food. She even joined the local dance club, spending her time dancing in the community while ignoring housework. Worse still, they were not tidy, leaving dirty clothes everywhere and not disposing of used bags properly. In just a few days, the house was a mess. I was exhausted, juggling housework, the baby, and two elderly parents, nearing a breaking point. After a week, I brought up sending them back home. “We’re not leaving. Your dad and I are comfortable here, eating and drinking well. Why go back? Are you daring to kick your mom out of your house?” As expected, my mother-in-law glared at my husband instead of me. My husband smiled awkwardly and served her food: “Of course not, Mom. My home is your home! Stay as long as you want.” My father-in-law chimed in while eating: “Charlie, you can’t forget your parents after getting married. We raised you, and now you don’t let us stay? People would talk.” They only thought of living with us after spending their money on travel. After a week, they barely looked at their grandson. I quickly explained: “Parents, it’s not that we don’t want you here, but I’m struggling to handle everything alone. Michael is busy and often works late. I have two days at school a week, and the rest of the time I’m with the baby. With no one to help, I barely have time to cook. With more people in the house, there’s even more housework, and I can’t manage.” My mother-in-law scoffed: “How can we be a burden? You managed before, and now you can’t with us here? You’re just upset I don’t help with the child. Wanting me to work for free? Dream on!”
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