“Julia, stay with me. You’re the only one I want, alright?” That was the only romantic thing Jack ever said to me. I had admired him for years as a younger classmate. Among all the women Jack had been with, I was the one who obeyed him the most. I genuinely loved him, but that didn’t matter to him. He was always indifferent, dismissive, and contemptuous toward me. My love for him faded, and I moved on. But then Jack changed completely; he went off the deep end. He accused, “Julia, you looked down on me from the beginning…” The fields where we first met were filled with blooming starry flowers, yet he never understood their significance. Deep down, Jack had no respect for women, including me. His father was the chairman of a leading corporation, and his mother owned the largest pharmaceutical company in the city. After Jack was born, they each went their separate ways, indulging in affairs. This environment influenced Jack profoundly. I, too, was inexplicably drawn to him, captivated by a mysterious allure. When my first feelings of love emerged, I couldn’t resist him. Whenever he was drunk, he would hold me and say, “Julia, you’re different…” I heard those words countless times. I had met his first love, who was just like the women his father pursued. Young Jack spent lavishly on her at nightclubs every night. After a week of their affair, she vanished from the scene, and I never saw her with Jack again. Out of curiosity, I asked my best friend’s brother, who owned a nightclub. He told me that Jack’s first love wanted to climb the social ladder for someone she truly loved. She frequented nightclubs, seeking out inexperienced rich kids, and Jack’s reputation as a playboy made him her target. While she moved from bed to bed every night for her beloved, that man got engaged to a wealthy young lady. When the truth came out, she was discarded like an old shoe by the man she loved. On my way home, I thought for a long time about many things and ultimately didn’t know whether she felt deep affection or was just obsessed. Perhaps it was her way of expressing love… Back home, I recalled what my friend Bob said. He asked, “Is Jack treating you well?” I was at a loss for words. Was he treating me well… “Julia, you’d be better off just going after Jack’s money,” Bob sighed and gently patted my head. For money? Just for money? I don’t think I can do that. “Julia, I want to see you.” Jack’s message popped up on my phone. Without hesitation, I took a cab to the address he sent. It was a lovers’ hotel. When I knocked on the door, a large bouquet of starry flowers greeted me, followed by Jack’s handsome face, smiling like a memory from the past. The first time I was captivated by him, it was just like this. I met Jack when I was 18, and I stayed with him for five years. I was timid and introverted, orphaned and raised by my uncle. My aunt treated me well, but my uncle looked down on me. Luckily, my uncle was henpecked, so I grew up fine. I became best friends with my neighbor, Rose. When my aunt was away on business trips, I’d often stay over at their place, and over time, I got to know Bob. He was gentle, always looking at me with kind eyes. Unlike Jack’s gaze, which was full of feigned affection… Yet, despite everything, I still fell for Jack. A message from my uncle’s friend said my uncle was drunk and needed to be picked up before someone else took advantage. Despite my uncle not liking me, he raised me for many years, and my aunt was abroad on business. I hurriedly took a cab there. I slowly pushed open the private room door. “Oh! A college student? You’re in for a treat today.” My uncle sat in the middle, not the least bit drunk, while the pot-bellied man beside him laughed, looking at me with lustful eyes. I realized I had been tricked and fearfully looked at my uncle.
“She’s just a waste of money, a parasite. Anyone who wants her can have her. Just have fun, brothers.” Hearing my uncle’s words, I turned and ran out, but this was the innermost room. Without the bartender from earlier, I couldn’t leave. With a crash, I felt dizzy, blood on my forehead, and fell to the ground. My palms were pierced by shattered glass. “Run, why don’t you!” The pot-bellied man’s blurry figure appeared before me. It was over. It was really over this time. Tears streamed down my face, my vision blurred, and the pain was so intense I couldn’t stand. “Get lost!” Before fainting, I heard a pleasant voice and saw a blurry figure… I woke up in a hotel bed, my forehead and hands bandaged. “You’re awake.” It was the first time I met Jack. His youthful face was clean, with handsome and bold features. I was momentarily at a loss. “Did you save me?” The boy looked at me for a while, then glanced away and nodded. I quickly thanked him. He didn’t look at me or speak. Did he want money? But he didn’t seem like he needed it. “Snapchat, maybe?” I asked softly. He looked at me, but his gaze was no longer the same. Now it was full of disgust and disdain. I looked down, feeling helpless. That look was just like my uncle’s. “Jack.” He threw his phone in front of me, his voice cold. “Julia.” I quickly added him on Snapchat, noticing his dark profile picture. “Julia, the name suits you, acting all innocent.” He raised an eyebrow, his tone casual. I looked up in shock, seeing a mischievous smile on his face. “Automatic transfer of ten thousand dollars.” The mechanical voice came from Jack’s phone, for the medical and hotel expenses I just sent. This hotel looked expensive, and I only had twelve thousand left in my account. “What does this mean?” “Medical fees and hotel expenses.” “Did you add me on Snapchat for this?” Jack’s handsome brows furrowed, disbelief in his voice. I slowly got out of bed, my head finally feeling better. Seeing me silent, Jack suddenly pulled me, his expression dark and uncertain. He looked at me with hesitation before finally speaking. “Julia, stay with me, and from now on, I’ll only want you, alright?” At the time, I thought it was a question, but it turned out to be a statement. He was notifying me, not asking or negotiating. And yet, I inexplicably nodded and agreed. But there was no joy in his eyes. It seemed as simple as saying, “Let’s have breakfast.” After that, I left my uncle’s house and was placed in a villa by Jack. Rather than respect, it felt more like disdain and contempt. He never touched me. But for anniversaries, birthdays, and every holiday, he always gave me gifts, never missing one. He frequented the nightclubs every night without exception. Yet I fell for him. I wondered if asking certain questions would mean losing even what little we had. I never spent the money he sent to my account. I continued working part-time at the flower shop with my best friend. I didn’t tell Jack any of this, afraid he would look down on me even more. To someone like him, a privileged young man, I feared being seen as a blemish…
“Hey, it’s my birthday today. Can you spend some time with me?” I read the message that popped up on Jack’s phone and watched him head to the bathroom. The baby’s breath on the table caught my eye, and I let out a rueful smile. Julia, you’ve got to wake up and let go. Did you really think Jack loved you? The sound of running water stopped. I closed my eyes, wiped away my tears, and looked at Jack in his bathrobe. My heart felt a pang of sorrow. His eyes remained the same—aloof, cold, with a smile that never reached them. It felt so insincere. Who was he trying to fool with this act? Me? Well, he was quite the performer. After all, I’ve been with him for five years. “What’s up with you?” Jack looked puzzled after I stared at him for a while. I slowly removed my top, leaving only my undergarments and a thin white dress. “Jack, what do you really think of me?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck. It was the first time we were this close—close enough for me to feel his heartbeat. “Julia, what’s going on?” Jack grabbed my arm, a mix of urgency and a hint of panic in his eyes. “Why are you giving me so much money? What do you want?” “Just stay by my side. I’ve got things to do today, so I can’t have dinner with you.” With that, Jack left. Right. I slumped to the floor, knowing from the start it was all in my head, yet I still walked straight into humiliation. I took off my clothes and took a shower. It should’ve ended sooner. “Hey, look, Jack’s spending his birthday with that girl,” Rose messaged me on WhatsApp. I scrolled down and saw it was from Lily, one of Jack’s flings. I looked at myself in the mirror and slapped myself hard three times. It was time to wake up completely. I’ve always been the one to blame for my own downfall, delusion, and consequences. “Rose, I’m tired. I don’t want to like him anymore.” After sending that message, I dressed in a daze. As I left, I caught sight of the baby’s breath on the table, its beauty almost blinding. Back at the villa, the couple’s slippers at the door were my doing. Overall, all the double items in the house were my doing. The first time he used them, he didn’t say he disliked them. I liked to deceive myself into thinking he liked me. I looked at the cold, empty house and let out a bitter laugh. I thought, it’s okay. I’ll leave soon too. Give it more time, and I’ll surely forget him. Everyone will be happy. Letting go of Jack means letting go of myself too. I picked up the photo album from the bedside table. It was full of photos I secretly took of Jack. In one, he smiled unintentionally, a young man at the peak of his youth, running with vigor. There was also a photo of the first time he gave me baby’s breath. Memories flooded back, and I seemed to smell the fresh scent of the baby’s breath and the sweet mountain breeze. A gentle breeze brushed Jack’s face as he awkwardly took the bouquet from behind and shoved it into my hands. “Jack, can I take a photo?” It was the first time I asked him for something. He hesitated but then nodded awkwardly. I quickly took the photo, fearing he might change his mind. As I reached for the flowers, he tossed them aside. “I have something to do. You should go back.” With that, Jack left. I slowly walked back, holding the bouquet of baby’s breath he’d thrown on the ground.
The last warmth I had with Jack was when he clung to me after getting drunk, like a rascal. But I cherished even this little warmth. Love pierced my heart—this phrase, I really seemed to feel it. But Jack completely forgot his vow. Lily, his childhood friend, had been with him longer than I had. His friends often called her “sister-in-law.” Jack never denied it, only said Lily was special to him. Jack started saying I was being unreasonable, and his tone grew impatient. I was holding the anniversary gift I planned to give Jack, thinking we’d talk today since he hadn’t cheated. Suppressing my heartache, I was about to call him when I unexpectedly saw him and his mom get out of a car. A young girl was holding Jack’s arm, and when she stumbled, Jack quickly held her tight. That girl was no one else but Lily, Jack’s childhood friend. So their relationship wasn’t just rumors. I dialed Jack’s number and watched him carefully support Lily into the restaurant. He didn’t answer at first, but soon called back. “What’s up, Julia? I was in a meeting and couldn’t answer.” Jack’s voice was as cold as ever, not even bothering to add a hint of warmth to his lie. I forced a smile and said slowly, “I’ll pick you up from work. I’m off now.” “No need, it’ll take a while here. I’m quite busy. You should go home and rest.” Busy? What exactly are you busy with? My heart ached. “Alright.” I hung up. The phone rang again, this time it was from Jack’s mother. She started scolding right away: “Julia, stay away from my son. Lily’s back, and they’re planning to get married. They’ve already picked out rings.” The line went dead with a beep. Rings? I suddenly remembered the ring Jack had hidden in the bedside table a few days ago. Why was he being so secretive? I went to my friend’s house, feeling lost. Rose gently rubbed my head and said softly, “Julia, if you’re tired, let it go. He’s Jack, a reckless wanderer.” “I thought even if he was a wanderer, he would come back for me. He said he’s only for me.” I cried so hard my stomach churned, feeling nauseous, dry-heaving with nothing coming out. The next time I saw Jack was the following evening. He was in the kitchen, cooking soup. My heart suddenly felt warm, hoping he might explain things to me. But after a long while, as he poured the soup into a thermos, I watched him. He seemed a bit flustered and spoke softly, “My friend isn’t feeling well. I’m taking this over. You order some takeout for yourself, okay? Don’t worry, it’s a guy.” I threw the gift I was holding into the trash, smiled, and looked at him. At that moment, I was completely exhausted. “It’s obviously for your childhood friend Lily. Why lie to me?” “If you’ve fallen for someone else, just tell me. I can let you both be together.” “Jack, your past vows, the vow that you only want me, don’t worry about it. I just hope you’re with the person you like.” “I, Julia, am not that cheap. I just thought you turned back for me.” “Just take it as me being delusional, alright?” For the first time, Jack’s indifferent face showed panic. “Julia, I said I only want you. Don’t overthink.” That rare panic. I avoided his embrace. “Jack, I’ll ask once. What’s the deal between you and Lily?” As he was about to reply, I added softly, “Don’t lie again, or else… we’ll never see each other again.” The air suddenly went silent, and we could only hear each other’s breathing.
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