The Day I Stopped Waiting for Him

Anderson forgot my birthday for the third time. I didn’t throw a fit. I just cooked my favorite meal by myself. I bought the ice cream cake I usually wouldn’t let myself get. As if celebrating this ordinary birthday that nobody cared about. But after I took a shower and came out of the bathroom, ready to slowly enjoy it— I found that the food I’d spent three hours making had all been packed into containers by Anderson. The cake next to it was smashed and unrecognizable. He noticed me standing there. Without looking up, he said, “Mia hasn’t eaten all day. She had a low blood sugar attack. I’m taking some food over to her. Don’t wait up for me.” I watched his back as he walked out. At that moment, I was absolutely sure. I was never going to wait for him again. Right after Anderson left, the landlady showed up. She stood at the door and glanced inside. “The lease for this apartment ends at the end of this month,” she said, puzzled. “Are you renewing or moving out? Let me know soon. If you’re moving, I need to post the rental notice early.” Last month I’d asked Anderson: renew the lease or find a new place? Back then, he’d been looking down at his phone, replying to Mia’s messages with serious attention. When he finally looked up at me, his face was full of obvious impatience. “Whatever. You decide.” Remembering that, I told the landlady, “We’re not renewing. We’ll move out by the end of the month.” “As for the security deposit, you can send it to Anderson. No need to give it to me.” When we first moved in, Anderson paid the rent. He also paid the deposit. Giving it back to him was only fair. But the landlady looked confused. “You two are about to get married—why are you still keeping money so separate? Giving it to him or to you is the same thing!” I smiled and didn’t say anything. The landlady got the answer she wanted and turned to leave. Before she left, she reminded me, “Take everything with you when you move. Don’t leave anything behind for the next tenant.” I nodded and said okay. I did the math: today was the 28th. Only three days left until moving day. I thought for a moment, then contacted the real estate agent I’d used before to find a new place. The agent replied quickly. “Still a three-bedroom? Any other requirements?” “Two bedrooms would be fine. I’ll be living alone.” After I sent that message, the agent took a long time to reply. Just five words: “You guys broke up?” Seeing the word “broke up” made me pause. When I first got together with Anderson, I never thought we would break up. I used to daydream about our future every single day. Now, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d imagined a future with him. I didn’t reply. The agent sent another message: “Need a moving company? I know a reliable one.” “Yes.” “When are you moving?” I thought for a moment. “Three days from now.” Three days from now, the lease would be up. Perfect timing to leave Anderson for good. After I settled the moving date and rental requirements, I hung up and started packing. But then Anderson called. “Mia said the food you made was really good. Her stomach’s a little upset right now. Can you make her some light soup and bring it over?” Before I could answer, he added, “No onions. She can’t handle them.” I was silent for two seconds. Then I asked him softly, “Anderson, do you know what day it is today?” We’d been together for five years. He’d celebrated my birthday twice. The first time, he took me to Disneyland. At midnight, during the most beautiful fireworks, he confessed his love again with a necklace shaped like a true love heart. The second time, I was on a business trip. He dropped everything, flew over, and brought a handmade cake. That day, he said something sweeter than sugar: “Laura, no matter where you are, if you need me, I’ll always show up.” But in the third year of our relationship, he forgot my birthday. He only remembered. On my birthday. May 30th—his and Mia’s anniversary of meeting. Just as I expected. Anderson didn’t hesitate. He blurted out, “Today’s the twenty-third anniversary of the day Mia and I first met. Why?”

I got the answer I’d anticipated. For the first time, I hung up on him. I wasn’t panicked or anxious. My heart was calm, like still water. I looked at the remains of the cake on the table. The ice cream had melted with time. Just like I thought my relationship with Anderson was indestructible—but in reality, it had faded and dissolved over time. I put down my phone and continued packing. The next afternoon, Anderson came back. There was a hint of guilt in his eyes when he looked at me. His attitude softened. “I’m sorry, I forgot it was your birthday yesterday. You mentioned before that you wanted a car to commute to work, right? I went and picked one out for you today. Consider it a belated birthday gift.” I opened my mouth to say something, but he kept talking. “Good thing Mia reminded me yesterday. Make sure to thank her when you see her. She actually helped pick out the car—she said you’d love it.” So he hadn’t remembered on his own. He’d needed someone else to remind him. And the gift he gave me—was chosen by someone else. All I could do. Was say “it’s okay.” Accept the choices they made for me. Anderson pulled out his phone to show me photos of the car. “Look, Mia picked pink. It’s perfect for you girls…” He swiped through the photos. But when he got to the second one, my gaze froze. It was a picture of Mia. She was sitting in the driver’s seat, sticking out her tongue and giving a peace sign. Anderson noticed my stare and instinctively explained, “Mia loves taking selfies. Her phone died, so she borrowed mine to take a picture.” I didn’t say anything. I kept swiping. His phone had three hundred and twenty-three photos total. One hundred and twenty were of Mia. The other three were pictures of the car. Seeing that, I suddenly remembered. Anderson didn’t like taking pictures. He also didn’t like having unnecessary stuff on his phone. We had zero photos together. His phone didn’t even have my contact info saved. As if I’d never existed in his life. I’d asked him once why he didn’t save my number. He’d said, “Your number is burned into my memory. I can recite it in my sleep. No point in saving it.” But Mia was saved in his phone. With the note: “Happy Little Pig.” Whether in his contacts or on social media, she was the only one pinned to the top. I scrolled silently. Anderson didn’t stop me. He raised an eyebrow and laughed. “Checking up on me? Alright, go ahead—see if I’ve been texting any other women…” Before he could finish, the contact named “Happy Little Pig” sent a message. “Anderson! Don’t be biased! You’ve become a selfish jerk! Laura gets a car, and I want one too! Get me one ASAP!” After reading that, I lost all interest. I handed the phone back. Anderson didn’t say anything. He took it. I got up and left the couch, glancing over. He replied, “The company’s funds are tight right now. I’ll owe you one car.” Mia didn’t accept that. She sent ninety-nine rolling-on-the-floor emojis. A flicker of hesitation crossed Anderson’s eyes. He looked up at me. “Laura, your company isn’t that far from our apartment. How about we give this car to Mia first, and I’ll buy you another one later?”

Last month, we had plans to see a movie. We’d just gotten to the theater when Mia called. She wanted him to go swimming with her. Just like today, he hesitated for a moment, then said to me, “Laura, how about you skip the movie today? I’ll take you another time.” He chose her over me. I didn’t say anything. After he left, I bought a bucket of popcorn and a Coke by myself. For the first time, I walked into the theater alone. That was when I realized. Going to a movie by myself wasn’t that hard. Giving up something that didn’t belong to me. Was even easier. “Okay. Whatever you say.” My expression was calm. Anderson’s rigid face visibly relaxed. He sighed in relief. “See, you’re so reasonable. Mia’s always making a fuss. Hard to deal with.” He seemed to be criticizing Mia. But his words were full of obvious indulgence. He didn’t know. I was never the “reasonable” type. I just didn’t care about him anymore. “Oh, right. Mia says there’s a new Mexican restaurant in the West End. She wants us to go eat there now.” I was about to refuse. But he showed a look of helplessness. “Mia really wants to go.” Then. I ended up at the Mexican restaurant with Anderson. As I dipped my food in hot sauce, Anderson said, “I thought you didn’t like spicy food?” “I always have. You just never knew.” I flipped through the menu and ordered some dishes I liked. I also ordered a strawberry ice cream. Mia saw that and quickly ordered a mango ice cream. But Anderson frowned in displeasure. “Aren’t you on your period? You shouldn’t eat cold stuff,” he scolded. Then he crossed out her ice cream order and changed it to a fresh orange juice. Mia didn’t look angry at being scolded. Instead, she smiled brightly. “So what if it hurts? I’ve got you, so I’m not scared!” I used to feel that way too. Back then, Anderson would make me warm milk every month when I was on my period. When I was rolling in pain, he’d have red-rimmed eyes full of worry. His warm hand would cover my cold belly. His gentle voice would tremble slightly. “I wish I could take the pain for you. You wouldn’t have to suffer like this.” Back then, I thought the same as Mia. As long as he was there, I wasn’t afraid of the pain. But ever since Mia came from her hometown, he stopped caring about me. Now. Watching them flirt without caring about anyone else. I felt like an extra, out of place. Then. A waiter placed a milkshake with two straws in front of them. “Today is our boss’s tenth wedding anniversary,” the waiter said softly. “To celebrate, every couple dining here today gets a free milkshake.”

Mia happily took it and took a few sips. “Wow, this is amazing! You have to try it.” She turned the straw she’d used toward Anderson. No resistance or awkwardness crossed Anderson’s face. He bent down and took a small sip. “Not bad,” he commented. Seeing that painful scene. My fingers clenched tightly. I had imagined how close they were. I thought I wouldn’t be moved, even if I saw it with my own eyes. But when I actually saw it, my heart still stung like a needle prick. “Laura, Anderson and I have been like this since we were kids—we share everything. Don’t let it bother you,” Mia said cheerfully. But I clearly caught the flash of challenge in her eyes. “It’s fine. He told me before that he sees you as a sister. I’m not bothered,” I said calmly, looking at her. The smile on Mia’s face instantly froze, turning stiff. “Yeah, if we had anything going on, he wouldn’t be with you.” The first time Anderson told me he saw Mia as a sister was when she had just moved to the city two months ago. She’d said it was thundering outside and she was scared to be alone. She asked Anderson to come over. I didn’t agree. I blocked him when he was about to leave. “She’s a woman and you’re a man. Who knows what could happen? You’re not going to her!” I was also scared of thunder. Every time there was a storm, I loved to curl up in his arms. It made me feel safe. But that day, the wind was howling and thunder wouldn’t stop. With just one call from Mia, he pushed me out of his arms without hesitation. And after I said that, his eyes went ice cold. His voice was distant, like he was talking to a stranger. “I only see Mia as a little sister. Only someone with a dirty mind would think that way.” “Laura, stop causing trouble. Mia needs me.” The second time, I had a bad case of gastroenteritis. He promised to take me to the hospital. But on the way, Mia tripped coming down the stairs and twisted her ankle. Without a second thought, he asked the driver to turn around and go to her place. He couldn’t see me sweating cold from pain. He couldn’t hear me crying from agony. All I said was, “Is Mia your real girlfriend? Why do you care about her so much?” Anderson got angry. His eyes were full of fury. “What are you talking about! Mia’s my sister. She’s alone here, and she got hurt—how could I not take care of her? Don’t be ridiculous!” Anderson didn’t argue with her. He just quietly picked the chili out of her dipping bowl. That meal tasted like nothing to me. But Mia ate happily under his care. The agent was fast. The next day, he found me a perfect apartment. The place was great—fully furnished, move-in ready. So on the day the lease expired for the old apartment. I called a moving company, following the agent’s recommendation. The landlady saw that I was only moving my own stuff. She sent Anderson a reminder message: “Your lease is up. Please move out on time. Thank you for your cooperation.” Watching her send that message. I calculated how long I’d lived here. Based on the split cost, I transferred my share of the rent to Anderson. After handling everything I needed to take. I got into the moving truck. But as we passed the intersection across from the old neighborhood. Anderson called. I didn’t answer. Then he sent a voice message. His voice was urgent, tense. “Laura, why aren’t you picking up? Didn’t we agree to renew the lease for another year and then buy this place from the landlady? Why is she telling me to move out now?”

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