Ryan and I had been together for seven years. When I went to deliver some documents to him, I saw him holding his young sweetheart close, proudly saying: “The one you’ve nurtured yourself is always the sweetest.” He was drinking the ginseng chicken soup I had prepared for him this morning. Amidst the envious voices of others, he said: “Zoe is suitable as a wife, but she’s terribly boring.” This man, who had proposed to me and promised a lifetime together just three days ago, was now kissing another woman amid cheers and whistles. I’m a person who loves cleanliness. A man who’s been dirtied? I don’t want him anymore. 0 Half an hour ago, I received a message from Ryan. He said he was entertaining clients at a club and needed me to urgently bring him an important document he was missing. But when I arrived, barefaced and sweating, I saw Ryan embracing the delicate Holly in his arms. I understood immediately. This must have been orchestrated by Holly, the young sweetheart in Ryan’s arms. There were no clients. It was just a gathering of Ryan and his friends. Holly had been pursuing Ryan for nearly half a year. Impatient to become Mrs. Yates, she had secretly used Ryan’s phone to message me. She tricked me into coming here, wanting me to see how cherished she was. I don’t know how much effort she put into this plan. When I arrived at the club, surprisingly, no one stopped me. Actually, I should thank her. I’m a person who loves cleanliness. A man who’s been dirtied? I don’t want him. Inside, Holly seemed to be acting coy, demanding to eat the ginseng from his bowl. Ryan’s voice carried a hint of contempt: “What are you thinking? Zoe woke up two hours early to make this. How could I give it to you?” “I’m a man of principle. You need to know your place.” Initially, I only felt a dull ache in my heart. But hearing this, I almost laughed out loud. Such absurd words, yet he seemed quite proud of them. “Ryan, you said you’d be good to me!” Holly’s voice grew louder, filled with a tearful grievance. “Now you won’t even let me have a bite of ginseng. How am I supposed to trust you in the future?” “Do you really love me or not?” Frank, Ryan’s subordinate, laughed and tried to smooth things over: “Sis, you don’t understand. Of course he loves you.” “But a wife is someone you both respect and love.” “Don’t you girls love watching those royal drama series? Zoe is like the queen, and you’re naturally the favored concubine.” “A wise king never neglects his queen for a concubine.” Ryan laughed loudly, slapping the table as he shouted, “Exactly!” “A virtuous wife and a beautiful mistress – that’s the perfect recipe for a good life!” Holly continued to protest, but her words were drowned out by the knowing laughter of the men. 0
Holly seemed to be pouting and throwing a tantrum. “Alright, alright. She’s just young and likes to be pampered,” Ryan said. “If you want to eat, I’ll have Frank go out and buy some later, okay? Anyone else want anything? We can get it all together.” Ryan stroked Holly’s head affectionately and kissed her forehead. “Holly’s only 19. Don’t tease her too much, guys.” “If she gets upset, I’ll be the one who has to comfort her tonight.” He seemed quite proud of his innuendo. Using borderline jokes to liven up the atmosphere in the private room. Ryan’s lips were close to Holly’s ear, whispering something. Holly blushed and pretended to push him away. Frank chimed in: “Ryan, Zoe’s pretty smart. Aren’t you afraid she’ll find out?” Ryan replied casually: “That woman is so dull.” “She’s either buried in her lab or at home cooking for me.” “As long as you all keep your mouths shut, she’ll never find out.” Frank asked with a smile: “I heard Zoe’s planning to switch to a teaching position for you?” Ryan grunted in agreement: “It’s not much money. She might as well stay at home to cook and take care of the kids.” “But being a university professor sounds prestigious, so I’ll let her play around for a couple of years.” “She’s so boring, yet you still want to marry her,” Holly pouted, watching Ryan’s expression. “Don’t be silly,” Ryan patted her back. Holly twisted her body slightly and pleaded: “Then say you love me the most. Just say it, and I’ll believe you, okay?” Ryan chuckled: “Alright, of course I love my little Holly the most.” He hugged the girl like a child and sighed: “The one you’ve nurtured yourself is always the sweetest.” Outside the door, I could barely stand. My body was shaking violently. My heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly, making it difficult to breathe. Three days ago, Ryan had proposed to me. The moment I nodded, he hugged me tightly, choking with emotion: “Zoe, I’ll be good to you for the rest of my life.” “You don’t know how happy I am to be able to marry you.” Promises made so earnestly, without a thought for the consequences. Seven years together, and in his mouth, I was just a “good wife” and “boring”. Like a handy tool in his laboratory. The confession under the moonlight, the boy’s sincere and dazzling eyes. The dreams we fought for together, the tears after lifting the trophy. I never doubted the sincerity of our past. But the human heart can’t withstand the test of time. How could I have been so blind! Ryan. It was you who betrayed our love. 0
The next morning when I woke up, Mrs. Ross, our housekeeper, told me Ryan had slept in the study. I’m a light sleeper; even the slightest noise wakes me up and makes it hard for me to fall back asleep. So when Ryan comes home late from work, he usually sleeps in the study. But what used to happen only once or twice a month has become a frequent occurrence over the past six months. The signs had been there for a while. Three years ago, I first met Holly at the Yates family’s old house. At that time, Ryan held my hand and casually patted her head: “Holly? You’ve grown quite a bit.” He turned to me with a smile and introduced her: “She’s the daughter of our housekeeper, Mr. Lambert. She comes to play at our house occasionally.” “The little girl is well-behaved and sweet-talking, my mom really likes her.” I smiled and greeted Holly, but I noticed a hint of hostility in her eyes. I encountered her once or twice after that. One time when I had a migraine, Mr. Lambert asked Holly to bring me some painkillers. Thinking I was asleep, she threw the medicine on the table. She spat in my water glass and said viciously: “Old hag, one day, I’ll drive you away from my brother’s side.” Such blatant malice, spewing from her flower-petal-like mouth without any restraint. I knew teenage girls could easily go astray. I gently suggested to Ryan that he should be careful to maintain distance from the young girl. But he was completely unconcerned, “Holly’s just a kid. Are you really jealous of her?” Ryan leaned in to kiss me: “Honey, I’m just happy to know you love me so much.” I knew that a young girl’s crush was often confused with admiration. But an adult’s indulgence had led this relationship down the wrong path. But this was their fate, and I had no power to interfere. … As I was about to leave after breakfast, Ryan woke up. His hair was a mess, and with sleepy eyes, he reached out to hug me. I discreetly stepped back two paces: “I have an important meeting today. Don’t wrinkle my clothes.” Ryan’s face was full of guilt: “I’m sorry, honey. I’ve been really busy lately.” “I haven’t been able to spend much time with you. I’ll pick you up after work today and take you out for a nice meal.” I looked at his slightly dark chin, already showing some stubble. “Did you go out drinking with clients again last night?” I asked. Ryan nodded with a wry smile, saying without a hint of guilt: “You have no idea how clingy Mr. Lucas can be.” I withdrew my gaze and asked flatly: “So, you smoked too?” I hate the smell of smoke. When Ryan occasionally smoked due to social obligations, he would shower and clean up as soon as he got home. Moreover, we had agreed to start trying for a baby, and he had promised to quit smoking. But now, his breath reeked of tobacco. Knowing he couldn’t deny it, Ryan’s face fell. With a hint of pleading, he asked: “Honey, are you angry?” “I really couldn’t refuse. I just took a couple of puffs, honestly.” “In the future, I’ll…” I shook my head, interrupting his words: “It’s fine. I understand it’s not easy for you.” “I’m running late. I need to go.” “Oh, and don’t pick me up tonight. I need to prepare for my classes, so if it gets too late, I won’t come home.” As I turned to leave, Ryan seemed to think he was off the hook and let out a sigh of relief. He laughed heartily, telling me to drive carefully and remember to eat well. We both played our parts well. He hid all his false pretenses. I hid all my sadness and disappointment. Our paths had converged for seven years. But now we were heading in different directions. 0
When I arrived at the lab, my junior colleague Liam was distributing souvenirs he had brought back from his business trip. Seeing me arrive, he quickly brought over a few bags of seafood. “Zoe, try this dried squid. It tastes amazing.” I usually love seafood. But today, as soon as Liam approached, I felt my stomach suddenly churn. Without time to say much, I rushed to the restroom at the end of the hallway. The cool water splashing on my face gradually eased the discomfort in my stomach. When I raised my head, the mirror reflected a tired face. I stared blankly. Suddenly, sadness and grief overwhelmed me like a tidal wave. All my strength crumbled at this moment. Tears fell in large drops. Seven years. Seven years in which I had given my whole heart. Only to be repaid with utter betrayal. “Zoe, are you okay?” Liam called from outside, his voice not loud but very anxious. “I’m fine,” I said. I took a deep breath, composed myself, and walked out. Liam sighed with relief when he saw me come out, but his brow remained furrowed. He wanted to take me to the hospital. I refused and called my best friend, Mia. Mia works at a private hospital, and I arranged to meet her an hour later. Liam wanted to drive me there, but I didn’t agree. Ever since I got together with Ryan, I had deliberately maintained distance from all other men. It wasn’t that I couldn’t see Liam’s fondness for me. But I had constrained my behavior with moral principles, never giving any other man room for imagination. Ryan often hugged me and marveled at how lucky he was to have found such a good wife. Back then, I would pinch his face and say: “Honey, I won’t check up on you or constantly ask about your whereabouts, but trust and respect are mutual.” “What I do, you must do too. Otherwise, if I ever decide to leave, I will never look back.” Ryan laughed and pleaded: “Okay, okay, I’ll do whatever you say, my dear wife. I wouldn’t dare to have a wandering eye.” Thinking back now, the rift had started long ago. When I needed a commitment, he was brushing me off with jokes. At the hospital, Mia accompanied me through the examination. As expected, I was pregnant. My period had been delayed by almost a week this month. So when I first felt unwell, I suspected I might be pregnant. But this child came at the worst possible time. When Mia heard I was pregnant, she was initially overjoyed. But seeing my hesitant expression as I touched my belly, the smile on her face gradually disappeared. “Mia,” I looked up, forcing an ugly smile. “I’m not keeping this baby.” “Can you keep this a secret for me?” After hearing my story, Mia was furious. She cursed Ryan vehemently, then looked troubled. She held my hand and said: “Zoe, the doctor just said you have a condition that makes it difficult to conceive. If you terminate this pregnancy…” I lowered my eyes: “But I don’t intend to endure Ryan’s betrayal for the sake of this child.” “Nor do I plan to give birth to this child alone, sacrificing my future for it.” “If I’m not ready, then I won’t have it.” “I don’t want to be an irresponsible mother.” Mia sighed and said: “You… you always seem so gentle, but once you’ve made a decision, nothing can change your mind.” She stroked my face with a pained expression: “That ungrateful Ryan, he’ll regret this one day!” Mia quickly helped me schedule the procedure for the next day. That evening, after packing my clothes, I saw Holly had posted on social media. It was a selfie, with a blurred male figure in the background. But I easily recognized the man as Ryan. It looked like they were in a hotel. Holly’s caption read: “Tonight, you belong to me.” My phone dinged with a new message from Ryan at the top of the screen. It said: “Honey, I’m too busy to come home tonight. Remember to eat well at work.” When I came to my senses, my face was ice-cold with tears. I simply replied “Okay,” then buried myself in the blankets and cried silently. This is the last time, I told myself. Ryan, after tonight, I will never cry because of you again. 0
The procedure went smoothly. I stayed in the hospital for three days. Although Ryan’s messages never stopped, I used the excuse of being busy with work, and he didn’t suspect a thing. During these three days, Mia helped me rent a new apartment. I still had quite a few things at Ryan’s place that I needed to pack up. The building had an elevator that required a key card to access. As the elevator doors opened, I saw a magenta high heel at the doorway. Not far away, the other shoe had been kicked into a corner. The front door wasn’t locked properly, slightly ajar. A pair of black stockings hanging on the doorknob made me feel like an intruder. I took out my phone and discreetly started recording. From inside the room, amid the blaring music, came the intimate sounds of a man and woman. Soon, the music volume decreased. I could hear their conversation in the living room. Holly whined: “The floor is so hard. Ryan, can’t we go to the bedroom?” Then came the sound of a lighter. Ryan exhaled and said with a hint of impatience: “Zoe is a clean freak. It’s good enough that I let you into the house. Don’t ask for too much.” “But Ryan, don’t you always say Zoe is boring? If I could always be by your side, you definitely wouldn’t…” Ryan snickered: “Holly, don’t misunderstand your position.” “You’re just a plaything to relieve my boredom occasionally. If you behave, I’ll treat you well.” “But if you dare breathe a word to Zoe, I won’t hesitate to find someone more obedient.” Holly was silent for a moment, then pleaded: “Ryan, please don’t abandon me.” “I’ll never let Zoe find out. I don’t expect to become your wife.” “As long as… as long as you let me stay by your side, that’s enough. I’ll be good.” I blinked my dry eyes. It felt like watching a play that had nothing to do with me. Behind me, the elevator made a sound. I instinctively hid to the side. It was Mrs. Ross coming for her routine cleaning. A few seconds later, there were several exclamations from inside. As I left, I had only one thought. How could such a disgusting person dare to imagine spending a lifetime with me? … On my way back to the lab, I happened to pass by a cake shop we used to frequent. Back then, we had just graduated. I was still on probation, earning only $1,500 a month. Ryan wanted to start his own business and refused to join his family’s company, so his father cut off all his cards, hoping he would give up. Those times were really tough. But every time I got my paycheck, when Ryan came to pick me up from the lab, we would come here to choose a small cake. A $10 sweetness could ease a month of bitterness. Back then, we would huddle at the small table, our bodies and hearts so close. I would always complain about the cake being too sweet after just two bites, and Ryan would pick out all the fruit from the cake base to coax me into eating. At that time, there was light in his eyes and dreams in his heart. He held my hand tightly then. “Zoe, when we have money in the future, I’ll buy you the biggest, most expensive cake.” “Trust me, I’ll never let you suffer with me.” Later, Ryan’s company still went bankrupt. He returned to his family’s business and was promoted to general manager in less than a year. As money increased, he began to scorn his dreams. The cakes became more and more luxurious. But they became increasingly tasteless. I didn’t linger at the cake shop. Even remembering the past didn’t stir much emotion in my heart now. Memories belong to the past, and I’m walking towards the future. 0
Back at the lab, I first went to see Professor Wilson. I asked her if I still had a chance to join her research group. Professor Wilson was surprised at first, then asked: “Didn’t you say you were getting married and considering having children, so you were planning to switch to a teaching position?” I lowered my gaze and shook my head. “Zoe, did something happen between you and Ryan?” I smiled bitterly and nodded: “Professor, he cheated on me.” Professor Wilson looked regretful: “I thought Ryan was quite a smart boy. How could he be so foolish?” “But this research group is part of a national project. The participants will need to conduct closed research at a base for at least three years without returning home.” “You need to think it through. Once you go, there might be no chance for reconciliation between you and Ryan.” I fought back the surge of bitterness in my heart and nodded firmly: “Professor, didn’t you always say I was stubborn when I was a student?” “I’m still the same now.” “Once I’ve made a decision, I’ll never look back.”
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