We Never Got To See Our Dawn Together

My online boyfriend got the wrong girl. He handed the bouquet of bluebells meant for me straight to my college roommate. The rumor mill was working overtime. Everyone on campus was whispering about how the hottest guy in the pre-med program was chasing the beautiful star of the dance department. But nobody knew the truth. Bluebell was my screen name. And Noah was the online boyfriend I had never actually met in person. Just that night, we were on a voice call. His deep, raspy groans came through my headphones as he complained about feeling sick. My face burned hot, and I softly told him to drink some water. He let out a low, teasing laugh. “Babe, you already accepted my flowers. Why are you acting so shy now?” That was when it hit me. I hadn’t told him yet that he gave them to the wrong person. Before I could even get the words out, a video call request popped up on my screen. In my panic, my thumb slipped. I accepted it. A pair of gorgeous, slightly red rimmed eyes appeared on the screen. The moment he got a clear look at my face, he froze. A flash of utter confusion crossed his features. Then, the call dropped. A few seconds later, a text lit up my screen. [I’m so sorry. I got the wrong person.] 01 I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I typed back. [It’s totally fine. We never knew what the other person looked like anyway.] [Fiona is my roommate. It makes sense that you got the wrong dorm info.] He didn’t reply. Leaving me alone with my heart hammering painfully against my ribs. Noah and I had been dating online for exactly a year. I scrolled up through our chat history. It stopped at yesterday. Noah: [Tomorrow is our one year anniversary. I’ve got a little surprise for you.] Bluebell: [Oh wow, what is it?] Noah: [Don’t worry about it.] Noah: [Just wait.] I never expected him to send me flowers. I definitely never expected him to mistake Fiona for me. And I certainly never expected him to suddenly FaceTime me. Staring at the call log that lasted barely three seconds, I groaned and pulled at my hair. I had just gotten out of the shower. My hair was a frizzy bird’s nest, and I was wearing a massively oversized, faded cartoon t-shirt. Did I give him a terrible first impression? Thinking back to those stunning eyes on the screen, I bit my lip. Even his eyes were breathtaking. My phone vibrated with a rapid succession of texts. Noah: [No.] Noah: [I really did get the wrong person.] Noah: [Her name is Fiona, isn’t it?] Noah: [I saw a picture of her a while ago.] Noah: [I asked around for her number, but somehow I was given yours instead.] Noah: [I thought you were her this whole time.] My racing heart just stopped. The messages came through so fast. My eyes read the words before my brain could even process the gravity of them. I sat there in pure shock for a solid ten minutes. Only then did the heavy, suffocating truth sink in. Noah did get the wrong person. But he didn’t mistake Fiona for me. He mistook me for her. From the very beginning, the moment he sent that first friend request, he thought he was talking to the gorgeous Fiona. In a total daze, I scrolled all the way back to the very start of our chat. Noah: [Sent you a request like three times. Finally.] Noah: [Hey, I’m Noah. Pre-med student from the campus next door.] He really had added me multiple times. I was just a freshman back then, fresh out of a dead end town. The first time I saw his request, I thought it was a scam and ignored it. Second time, ignored. Third time, ignored. Until he added a note. [We go to the same school.] That was when I finally accepted. When I found out he actually went to the neighboring university, I asked him what he wanted. He replied: [I saw the photos from the freshman outdoor retreat. You looked amazing dancing around the campfire.] During that retreat, I had been randomly picked to do a talent showcase. I danced. After that, he started texting me all the time. He was effortlessly funny and never made things awkward. I was introverted, terrible at keeping conversations alive, and constantly killed the mood. I thought he would get annoyed and ghost me. Instead, he sent a cute meme of a cat squishing its cheeks. Noah: [So this is just how you are, huh?] Noah: [It’s cute.] It turned out, the entire foundation of us was built on a mistake. The dorm door clicked open. Fiona walked in clutching a beautiful bouquet of bluebells, flanked by our other two roommates. Jenna looked at her with pure envy. “I heard Noah is drop dead gorgeous. You must have gotten a good look at him when he gave you the flowers. Spill it, how hot is he?” Fiona tossed the flowers onto her desk. She grabbed a makeup wipe and shrugged. “You know those guys you only ever see on Instagram or in movies?” “He’s hotter than them.” Jenna let out a high pitched squeal. “Oh my god!” “Fiona, come on, why did he give you flowers? Did he ask you out? Tell me he asked you to be his girlfriend!” Fiona clicked her tongue. “You guys are so nosy.” “Drop it, he didn’t say anything. I was just walking through the campus gates, he shoved the flowers into my arms, and walked away.” Becca clapped her hands together. “Wow, he was probably just too nervous to talk to you.” Laying in my bed, listening to them giggle and gossip. A dense, bitter ache spread through my chest. Even the back of my throat burned. My phone buzzed again. Noah: [I’m really sorry for bothering you all this time.] Noah: [Since she’s your roommate, do you have her number or her socials?] Noah: [Could you send them to me?] 02 I wanted to say no. I wanted to ask him what the hell we were supposed to be then. Did we break up, or are we just pretending the last year never happened? My fingers trembled as I typed out sentence after sentence. And then, letter by letter, I deleted them all. Tears finally spilled hot down my cheeks as I typed a single word. [Okay.] I copied Fiona’s contact card and sent it to him. Logically, I should have asked Fiona for permission first. But it felt like my throat was packed with cotton. I was in too much pain to utter a single syllable. I put my phone on silent, tossed it aside, and buried myself completely under my blankets. Fiona walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later, looking at her screen. “Wait, someone just added me.” Jenna rushed over. “The username is Noah.” “Holy crap, it has to be him!” Fiona looked genuinely confused. “How did he even get my number?” Becca laughed. “Is it really that hard to believe? He probably asked everyone on campus for it.” “Accept it! I bet you anything he’s going to ask you out right now!” Fiona playfully shoved them. “Back off, creeps! Give me some space.” Through the slight gap in my bed curtains, I watched her. She stood there, holding her phone with both hands. The tips of her ears were flushed pink. She was wearing a silk slip dress that perfectly hugged every curve of her body. This was the kind of girl Noah was supposed to fall for. I pictured how I must have looked on that video call just an hour ago. An absolute disaster. Even if Noah hadn’t gotten the wrong girl, there was no way he would ever like someone as plain and messy as me. When I woke up the next morning, I was sick. My head was pounding with a heavy, thick fog. When I tried to sit up, my limbs felt like lead. The dorm was already empty. I wasn’t surprised. I had never really fit in with their little trio. When I was in the room, I might as well have been a piece of furniture. Nobody ever thought to check on me. So naturally, nobody noticed that the girl who usually woke up at the crack of dawn was still in bed past noon. I forced myself up and dragged my body toward the campus clinic. Halfway down the stairs, my legs simply gave out. I tumbled down the concrete steps. The students at the bottom screamed. When it rains, it pours. Not only did I have a raging fever, but I also managed to fracture my leg. Our campus clinic wasn’t equipped for X-rays, so the dean called the neighboring medical university. They hauled me over to their advanced clinic on a stretcher. It was humiliating. I was burning up and half conscious, yet my main concern was still dying of embarrassment. Eventually, the darkness pulled me under. Right before I completely passed out, I could have sworn those eyes from the video screen materialized right in front of me. When I woke up, my throat was completely parched. “Water…” My voice sounded like dry gravel. As soon as I spoke, I clamped my mouth shut. “Haha.” A low, vibrating laugh filled the room. A terrifyingly familiar sound. A sound so familiar it almost triggered a panic attack. I whipped my head to the side and saw a guy sitting right next to my hospital bed. The moment our eyes met, I knew exactly who he was. Noah held a cup of water with a straw, leaning in close. He smirked. “You usually sound so soft and sweet on the phone. Get a little fever and suddenly you sound like a dying duck.” I froze. My brain completely short-circuited. He raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “Not thirsty? Or do you need me to physically feed it to you?” I snatched the cup from him. I drained it in seconds. Lowering my head, I mumbled, “Thanks.” A heavy, warm hand gently patted the top of my head. He took the empty cup from my grip. Seeing me staring blankly at the fresh cast on my leg, he sighed. “Are you an idiot? You had a massive fever and you still tried to walk? What do you think cell phones are for?” “Now look at you. Broken leg.” “You’re a dance major. Do you not realize how important your legs are?” His tone was laced with irritation and worry. It was the exact same tone he used to use when I got too busy in the studio and forgot to eat dinner. A pathetic spark of hope flickered in my chest. Was he… still caring about me? I wondered if this was the right moment to ask him where we stood. Just as I gathered every ounce of courage I had, his phone pinged. With one hand, he adjusted the flow of my IV drip, and with the other, he pulled out his phone. It was a voice memo. Fiona’s voice filled the quiet room. “I don’t just hand out dates, you know. If you want me to be your girlfriend, you’re going to have to ask me in person.” “Hiding behind a screen isn’t going to cut it.” 03 “Heh. She’s got an attitude.” A smile played on his lips. He looked up, and his eyes met mine. We both froze. We looked away at the exact same time. The silence that followed was suffocating. Under the blankets, my fingernails were digging so hard into my palms they were practically drawing blood. Noah broke the silence first. “Riley.” He never used to call me by my real name. That single word clarified exactly where we stood. He cleared his throat. “I’m really sorry about the mix up. I know it caused you a lot of trouble.” “It was a terrible mistake, and I hope you aren’t holding it against me.” “Let’s just look at it as making a good friend to talk to.” “Yeah?” A mistake. Terrible. A friend. An entire year of late night talks, inside jokes, and falling in love, summed up in three pathetic words. I kept my eyes glued to the blanket. I nodded once. I didn’t look at him. I didn’t speak. He stood up. “Your IV is done. I’ll drive you back.” I wanted to tell him no. But I looked down at the heavy plaster on my leg. I pictured myself trying to hop back across campus alone. I caved. Noah was strong. He scooped me up effortlessly and carried me to his car. Pressed against his chest, my hands hovered awkwardly. I didn’t know where to hold on, so I ended up tightly gripping the fabric of my own faded shirt. He smelled incredible. It was that crisp citrus scent I had once told him was my absolute favorite. My stupid, traitorous heart hammered against his chest. His voice rumbled right next to my ear. The voice that used to live exclusively in my headphones was right here in the physical world. The only difference was the tone. In my headphones, he was sweet, needy, and deeply affectionate. Now, he was just rattling off medical instructions on how to keep the cast dry. I barely absorbed a word he said. My mind was a complete wreck. He carried me all the way to my dorm room door. He didn’t step inside. But he didn’t leave either. Leaning against the doorframe, I quietly said, “Thank you for the ride.” He pulled out his phone to check the time. “No problem. It was on the way.” My heart sank straight to the bottom of the ocean. I realized he was waiting for Fiona. And I had been foolish enough to think he went out of his way just to make sure I got home safe. I turned around and limped into the room. It took everything in me to climb up into my bed. My hand slipped, and my knuckles slammed hard against the bed frame. The sharp sting brought fresh tears to my eyes. Right then, Fiona’s surprised voice echoed from the hallway. “Noah! What are you doing here?” “Waiting for you.” Noah’s voice was warm, dripping with that familiar smile. “Be my girlfriend? I’ll wait for you every day.” Pure instinct made me slap both hands over my ears. But I still heard her answer. “I’d love that, boyfriend.” The hot pre-med student officially bagged the beautiful dancer. The news blew up across every campus group chat. I took a week off to recover in my dorm. Even though I didn’t step outside, I couldn’t escape the endless updates about Fiona and Noah. Someone posted a picture of Fiona practicing in the studio, with Noah leaning casually against the doorframe, watching her with a soft smile. Another showed Noah dominating a soccer game, while Fiona sat in the bleachers holding his water bottle. There were candids of them holding hands, strolling side by side under the campus oak trees. … These were all the things Noah had promised me. He had told me that as soon as we met in person, the first thing he wanted was to watch me dance. He wanted me to cheer for him at his games. He wanted to hold my hand and walk around campus. I was the one he dated for a year. But she was the one living out our promises. And I was the one left completely broken. I stared at his contact, still pinned to the very top of my messages. The icon that used to pop up with a good morning text every single day. I pressed down on it, hovering over the delete button. I thought about the thousands of messages we shared over the last year. I couldn’t do it. I just unpinned him. Once he was unpinned, his name sank further and further down my inbox. It was only then I realized that the guy who used to tell me goodnight every single evening hadn’t sent me a single word in almost a week. When it was time to get my cast off, I saw Noah at the clinic again. His buddy was giving him a hard time. “Whoa, the guy who’s been MIA for a week playing boyfriend actually showed up to the clinic?” “Did you really come all the way down here just to take a cast off a freshman?” I was sitting in the examination room, separated from them by a thin curtain. I heard Noah’s voice. “Do me a favor. When she gets here, tell her she needs to keep it on for a couple more days.” His friend sounded confused. “Why? You’re the one who put the cast on her, and you literally said she was cleared to take it off today.” “Just drop it,” Noah said flatly. “Make up some excuse. Tell her the bone isn’t fully set yet. Make her wait two days.” “The intercollegiate dance competition is the day after tomorrow, and Fiona is competing.” 04 I wanted to rip the curtain open. But I didn’t have the guts. I listened to his friend refuse. “Hell no, I’m not doing that. You tell her yourself, she’s right in…” “Fine, I’ll tell her.” Noah cut him off and walked right out of the clinic. The curtain slid back. The med student looked at me, his face turning an awful shade of red. Choking back the lump in my throat, I asked quietly, “If you take the cast off today, and I practice for the next two days… will I permanently damage my leg?” He rubbed the back of his neck and pulled up my chart. “Your fracture was just a hairline. Honestly, you’re fine to move on it.” My phone vibrated. Noah, who hadn’t spoken to me in a week, sent two texts back to back. [Hey, I took another look at your X-rays. I highly recommend leaving the cast on for a few more days.] [It’ll ensure everything heals perfectly without complications.] I stared at the screen for a long, long time. Then I pressed his name, and hit ‘Delete Chat’. “Please take the cast off. I’d really appreciate it,” I told the med student. Once I was freed from the plaster, Professor Carter texted me, asking if my leg was okay and if I was still doing the showcase. I typed back. [I’m stepping out, Professor. Please withdraw my name.] When it came to contemporary lyrical dance, I was leagues ahead of Fiona. She had never once beaten my scores. Noah lied straight to my face just to clear the path for her. If he wanted Fiona to take first place that badly, I’d give it to him. I guess I could consider it payment for all the nights he stayed up comforting me over the past year. While Fiona was busy going on dates and rehearsing for her guaranteed win, I was busy expediting my visa. A week ago, before the whole wrong-girl disaster happened, I was nominated for a highly exclusive exchange program in London. At the time, my head was in the clouds. I was dreaming of finally meeting Noah, going on cute campus dates, and living out a romance. I had fully planned on rejecting the offer. Thankfully, Professor Carter had refused to accept my ‘no’ and told me to sleep on it. Three days ago, I officially submitted my acceptance. In one week, I’d be leaving the country for two years. The night of the dance competition, Fiona stole the show. She took home the grand prize. We had a celebratory dinner with the department that night. She walked into the restaurant absolutely glowing, hand-in-hand with Noah. “Just making it official for everyone,” she beamed. “This is my boyfriend, Noah. He wanted to take me out to celebrate. Hope you guys don’t mind him crashing!” The table erupted into cheers and catcalls. I sat quietly in the corner, focused entirely on cracking open a crab leg. Just as I was about to take a bite. Fiona suddenly called my name out in front of everyone. “Hey Riley, haven’t you been dating your online boyfriend for a year now?” “Didn’t you say you guys were finally going to meet up for your anniversary?” “How did that go?” I froze completely. Everyone at the table turned to look at me. “Wait, seriously? People still do the whole online dating thing?” “No way. Riley is so quiet, she’s the last person I’d expect to have a secret internet boyfriend.” Fiona laughed casually. “Oh, it’s true. I didn’t know either at first, but every single night she’d get back to the dorm, put her headphones on, and talk to him until she fell asleep.” “A few months ago, he even ordered a massive snow crab boil to be delivered to our room. She didn’t even know how to use the shell crackers. I had to teach her.” The looks being thrown my way suddenly shifted. Judgment dripped from their eyes. “What kind of internet boyfriend buys expensive seafood? Probably some creepy sugar daddy. Those guys love preying on naive college girls online.” “I mean, Riley grew up in the middle of nowhere, right? Girls from those depressed towns are super easy to manipulate. Flash a little cash and they’ll call you daddy. Hell, they probably did meet up.” “Yeah, if he’s spending that kind of money, she’s definitely already put out.” An indescribable knot exploded in my chest. Anger, humiliation, and a suffocating wave of injustice. When I didn’t say anything, the girl next to me shoved my shoulder. “Come on, Riley, cat got your tongue?” “Is your internet guy some middle-aged creep or a fat basement dweller?” “He’s spent a lot on you, hasn’t he? You guys already slept together?” “Who knew the innocent little wallflower was such a slut behind closed doors.” SMASH. A heavy glass bottle shattered violently against the floor. A strong hand clamped down tight on my wrist. I looked up into Noah’s freezing, furious eyes. “Shut your mouths!”

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