I had endured it for five years, from dating to marriage and having a daughter. My wife, Olivia, always said she had an avoidant personality and tended to run away from intimate relationships. But I couldn’t take it anymore when our daughter, Lily, came home drenched in rain, tearfully saying, “Mom said she had to drop off Uncle Ryan and his daughter Emma, so I had to come home by myself.” When Olivia returned, I confronted her about her actions. She simply replied, “I don’t know how to explain it to you. Think whatever you want.” This time, I couldn’t hold back anymore. Today, I was working overtime at the company. I quickly sent a message to my wife, who was flying back from a trip: “Honey, I’m working late today. Could you pick up Lily from school?” As usual, there was no response to my message. The chat history showed only my messages. I had grown accustomed to her lack of replies, assuming she had seen the message and would pick up our daughter. At 8 PM, I finished work and returned home to find Lily sitting at the doorstep, crying softly, soaked to the bone. “Lily, why are you sitting outside? Hasn’t Mom come home?” I pulled her up, feeling her ice-cold hands. She must have been sitting there for a long time. As soon as she saw me, Lily burst into tears and threw herself into my arms. I quickly carried her inside, grabbing a towel to dry her hair while gently coaxing her to tell me what had happened. Sobbing, Lily said, “I saw Mom’s car at the school gate. I thought she was there to pick me up, but she said she had to drop off Uncle Ryan and his daughter Emma. She said it wasn’t on her way and told me to go home by myself.” My heart sank. Ryan was Olivia’s ex-boyfriend. How were they in contact again? At the same time, I felt a chill run through me. Lily was only in first grade. The way home wasn’t exactly close. What if something had happened to her? I remembered when we were dating. Olivia was known for her beauty and was a future pilot. Strangely, she had always been single. Out of curiosity, I pursued her for several months, constantly showing my affection until she finally agreed to be with me. Later, I learned that her parents had divorced and remarried when she was young, leaving her to grow up alone. She told me, “I have an avoidant personality. I’m not good at maintaining intimate relationships. If you can accept that, we can be together.” She rarely replied to my messages and was indifferent to my care. When faced with relationship issues, she would either say “Think whatever you want” or avoid the problem with silence. Because I loved her so much, I still married her. After marriage, we had Lily, and I thought she would be different with our daughter. I never expected her to do something like this today. She said she had an avoidant personality, so why was she willing to drive Ryan and his daughter? Stopping my racing thoughts, I quickly got Lily to take a bath, fearing she might catch a cold. I comforted her, saying that Uncle Ryan might have had an emergency, which was why Mom couldn’t bring her home, and that Mom would apologize when she returned. Lily blinked, clearly not believing me, but she was mature enough not to press further and obediently went to the bathroom. Late at night, Lily developed a fever from getting caught in the rain, mumbling “Mom” in her delirium. I gave her some fever medication and put her to bed. Thankfully, she was okay. But Olivia still hadn’t come home. I sat in the living room, my mind in chaos. When the clock struck one, Olivia finally returned, reeking of alcohol but with clear eyes. She walked straight to the living room to pour herself some water, showing no intention of explaining herself. I asked, “Olivia, why are you back so late? Did you go drinking?” She casually replied, “Yeah, had a few drinks with friends.” I pressed on, “With Ryan, right?” She turned around, irritated, and said, “Yes, with him. He’s my colleague now. Jack, your distrust is putting pressure on me.” It was the same old response. Undeterred, I questioned her about refusing to bring Lily home in the afternoon. After a long pause, her only response was a silent, expressionless stare. Feeling heartbroken for our daughter, I demanded, “Lily is so young. What if something had happened to her on her way home? Is this how you be a mother?” She finally snapped, throwing out, “I don’t know what to say anymore. Think whatever you want.” Then she shut herself in the study and didn’t come out again. I lay sleepless on the couch until the early hours of the morning, finally drifting off as dawn broke. The next morning, Olivia was nowhere to be seen. On the way to drop Lily off at school, she anxiously asked, “Dad, did Mom apologize to me last night?” Forcing a smile, I lied, “Yes, she did. Mom said she’ll buy you your favorite doll when she flies back next time to make it up to you.” Lily immediately brightened up, entering the school with an excited smile. Watching my daughter’s retreating figure, I thought sadly, how long would I have to keep lying to her?
I found myself constantly checking my phone for messages, but Olivia hadn’t sent anything since that day. When we were dating, other guys’ girlfriends would always be texting them about the little things in their lives. I gently suggested that Olivia try sharing what she was doing with me too. She looked at me incredulously, saying she really didn’t see the point in talking about eating, waking up, or going to sleep. So I never knew what Olivia was doing or where she was. It was only my trust in her that kept our relationship going until now. Yesterday, Lily came home excited, saying there was a parent-child sports day at school. She asked if Mom would have time to participate. She added thoughtfully, “I know Mom is busy. It’s okay if she can’t make it.” It was clear she really wanted to participate. Although Olivia’s monthly salary was pooled with mine for our family expenses, her schedule was always packed, leaving little time to spend with our daughter. I had always explained to Lily that Mom worked hard to give us a better life in the future. Seeing Lily’s hopeful face, I mustered up the courage to call Olivia. The call was immediately disconnected, but I received a message from her. “What is it?” I replied, “There’s a parent-child sports day at school soon. Our daughter wants you to go with her. Can you take a day off?” She responded, “When is it? I’ll see if I can make it.” I sent her the details and reminded her of a few things. Then I asked which route she was flying today. To my surprise, she gave me a detailed answer about her flight. I felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe she had realized her mistake from last time and was trying to improve her attitude. On the day of the sports event, I was warming up with Lily in the waiting area. She kept glancing towards the entrance, clearly distracted. As other children and parents started to enter, I crouched down and hugged Lily, asking, “Mom might be held up. How about Dad participates with you first?” Lily stubbornly shook her head and ran to the entrance. “Mom promised me. I believe in her.” Time ticked by, but there was still no sign of Olivia. I quickly messaged her, asking where she was, but got no response. My daughter’s small figure stood firmly waiting. Finally, as the event ended and other students left with their parents, Olivia still hadn’t shown up. Lily’s eyes filled with tears, but she bravely told me it was time to go home, remaining silent on the way back. When we opened the door, we found Olivia sitting on the couch, reading a book. She didn’t react to our arrival. Lily ran up to her, her little face red with anger, and demanded, “Mom, you promised me. Why didn’t you come?” Ignoring Lily’s words, Olivia frowned at me and said, “I told you I’d see how things went. I had important business come up today. Couldn’t you, as her father, just accompany her?” Olivia was always like this, rarely participating in Lily’s activities. This time, she had promised and then broken that promise. I even suspected she was using work to avoid Lily and me. Lily was about to say something else when she noticed a beautifully wrapped doll on the couch – her favorite cartoon character. Just as she picked it up to take a closer look, Olivia suddenly stopped her. “That’s not for you. I bought it for Uncle Ryan’s daughter. Don’t open the packaging.” Lily couldn’t hold back anymore and burst into tears, sobbing that she hated her mom before running to her room and locking the door. Only Olivia and I were left in the living room. She glanced at Lily’s room, seeming to want to say something, but then just sat on the couch as if nothing had happened. I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I confronted her, “Why are you doing this? You promised to come and then broke that promise. Do you know how long Lily waited for you? And that doll – why did you only buy one for Ryan’s daughter? You know Lily loves that doll. Was it so hard to buy one more?” After my barrage of questions, Olivia stood up impatiently and said defiantly, “Enough! I just want my own space. You’re all putting too much pressure on me. I’ve always been like this, with everyone.” I closed my eyes, feeling overwhelmed, and said, “If you keep this up, I don’t think I can go on!” She reverted to her expressionless, indifferent state and said, “I can’t change. If you can’t handle it anymore, let’s get divorced. We’re not compatible, and you don’t need to waste any more time on me.” Olivia had just suggested we get divorced. At that moment, I felt like all my perseverance in loving her had become a joke. She was truly a block of ice that couldn’t be warmed. But for Lily’s sake, should I really get divorced? Suddenly, Olivia’s phone rang. Right in front of me, she opened SnapChat to find a message from Ryan, thanking her for helping out on short notice. She immediately replied, saying it was no problem. So that’s why she didn’t come today. She was helping him out. My SnapChat was pinned at the top of her chat list, with a “Do Not Disturb” icon next to it. She had long since found me annoying.
For the past few days, I hadn’t messaged Olivia, who had left home. Her suggestion of divorce had extinguished any lingering hope I had. I suddenly didn’t know why I had persisted in loving her. Perhaps she never needed it. When we were dating, my friends gently warned me that if a man is too devoted, a woman might not appreciate him. I didn’t believe it then, thinking it was just because of her family background and that Olivia wasn’t inherently cold. I made sure she received all the usual gifts and companionship, no less than anyone else would. She was just too avoidant when it came to emotions. Ryan was her first love. She had actively pursued him, but in the end, Ryan said they weren’t compatible and broke up. After graduation, he married and had a daughter. Now, it seemed he was divorced. Maybe with Ryan, the unattainable was appealing to her. Watching from afar made it seem better. But I couldn’t tolerate any doubt in our relationship. If she was truly wavering, there was no point in forcing her to stay. But what about Lily? Would divorce harm her? Olivia didn’t truly not love Lily. When Lily was younger, the gentle look in Olivia’s eyes as she held and fed her couldn’t be faked. Materially, Olivia always did her best to give Lily the best of everything. But the way she treated Lily now had hurt our daughter deeply. That night, Lily asked me if I had lied to her, saying that Mom hadn’t apologized or promised to buy her a gift. I apologized to her, and she hugged me, saying it was okay. She just wanted Mom to be with her. She loved her mom very much but had to be understanding because Mom was so busy. If we really left Olivia, Lily might be very upset. That afternoon after work, I bought Lily’s favorite doll and went to pick her up. After waiting for a while without seeing her come out, I called her teacher. The teacher was surprised, saying, “Lily didn’t come to school today. Her mother called in sick for her, saying she was taking her out.” Olivia had taken her out to play? Why didn’t she tell me? Was she trying to make it up to Lily by taking her out? Although I felt uneasy, she was still the child’s mother. It might be good for them to spend some time together. Late that night, mother and daughter still hadn’t returned home. Getting anxious, I called Olivia directly. She answered, sounding out of breath as if she was running. “What’s wrong? Where’s Lily? Let me talk to her,” I asked. She paused, then said in a low voice, “Something happened. I’ll have her call you later.” I pressed her to tell me what had happened. After a long silence, she finally replied, “Lily is missing. We’re looking for her now.” It felt like a bolt of lightning had struck me. I nearly collapsed, barely managing to ask for their location before rushing over. They were in the neighboring city. I took the fastest high-speed train and went straight to the police station. To my surprise, Ryan and his daughter were there too. Seeing my pale face, Olivia grabbed me and said, “Jack, calm down. Lily will be fine. The police have checked the surveillance cameras and are searching for her.” I couldn’t calm down at all. Ryan approached, looking guilty: “It’s all my fault. I mentioned that Emma was lonely and thought it would be nice if Lily could play with her. That’s why Olivia brought her along. We never expected Lily to disappear while we were shopping in the mall.” Olivia couldn’t meet my eyes, burying her head in my chest, trying to comfort me. I pushed her away forcefully, glaring at her with fury. For the sake of Ryan’s child, she had secretly taken Lily out and lost her. What kind of mother was she? “If anything happens to Lily, none of you will get away with this. Once we find Lily, let’s get divorced, Olivia.” “As you wish. We’ll set you free.”
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