His Guilt Was Never Love

Seven years ago, I threw myself in front of an out-of-control truck to save Liam Sterling. It ruined half my face. After a failed skin graft, the right side of my face was left with twisted, puckered scars, and the corner of my mouth could never fully close again. My best friend, Chloe Bennett, claimed she hated seeing me hide behind a face mask. She insisted on helping me “step out of the shadows.” So, whenever we were in a situation that required me to show my face, she would force me to try. She would slip off my mask while I was asleep, film my defenseless, scarred face, and post it on TikTok. She even pinned her own comment at the very top: “What a horrifying face, literally scared me to death.” When I confronted her, Liam defended her. “Sera, she’s just trying to get you to accept yourself.” At a group dinner with friends, Chloe snatched my mask away right before we walked through the door. When I took a sip of water, it trickled down the side of my mouth that couldn’t close properly. Everyone at the table quickly looked away. She wiped it off for me and laughed, “You’re not afraid of kissing your boyfriend, so why are you afraid of people looking at you?” Someone at the table joked that she and Liam looked more like a real couple. They didn’t deny it. They just laughed and kept flirting. It went on like this until Chloe canceled the reconstructive surgery I had been waiting two years for. She claimed she was just terrified the surgery would fail again. Liam nodded in agreement. “She’s just doing what’s best for you.” Just then, Liam’s phone lit up on the table. His mother, Eleanor, had messaged their family group chat: “Have Chloe accompany you to the family dinner this weekend. Seraphina isn’t really fit to be seen in public.” Last night, Liam had replied: “Okay.” In that split second, I finally understood. They forced me to “accept” this face in public, yet they were too embarrassed to let this face be seen by their own family. Without saying a word, I booked a consultation at a specialist clinic in Los Angeles. Seven years ago, I saved Liam. Seven years later, I finally decided to save myself.

The notification confirming my appointment popped up just as Liam walked out of the bathroom. He froze when he saw me holding his phone. “Did you see the messages?” I handed the phone back to him. The screen was still open to the chat with his mother. Liam took the phone. He didn’t even bother to explain why he had hidden the family dinner from me. He simply pulled out a tissue, leaned down, and gently wiped the water leaking from the corner of my mouth. “My mom has a lot of relatives over, and they don’t have filters,” he said softly. “If you go, they’ll just stare, and you’ll end up feeling miserable.” His touch was as gentle as always. But when his fingers brushed my right cheek, he instinctively avoided the most jagged part of the scar. I looked at him. “Then in what capacity is Chloe going?” Liam frowned slightly. “She’s just going to help me deal with my relatives. Don’t start drama with her.” Just then, the front door clicked open. Chloe walked in, clutching a stack of wedding planning folders. Hearing his last words, her eyes instantly welled with tears. “Sera, are you mad at me for taking your place?” She dropped the folders on the coffee table and knelt in front of me. “I don’t have to go to the dinner. But last time at the restaurant, you only took off your mask for ten minutes, and you couldn’t sleep the entire night. Liam’s mom is just worried you’ll get triggered again.” With that, she pulled a script from the folder. “Oh, by the way, I edited the opening voiceover for your wedding teaser video. The recording session is tomorrow afternoon. It’ll be a good chance for you to practice speaking.” Liam flipped through a couple of pages. “Aren’t these sentences a bit too long?” “That’s why I broke them down,” Chloe said, smiling at me. “Take your time, Sera. If you mess up, we can just record it as many times as we need.” The next afternoon, I sat in the recording booth. The last line of the script was: “We finally made it to today.” On the first try, I slurred the word “finally.” Chloe hit playback. My distorted, slurred voice blasted through the studio speakers. The audio engineer looked down to adjust his equipment, while his assistant cast a sneering glance at me. “Open your mouth wider,” Chloe instructed over the microphone. On the second try, the right side of my mouth pulled painfully, and I missed a syllable entirely. She played the failed take again. “Listen to yourself, Sera. It still sounds really bad.” Mortified, I told her to turn it off, but she only cranked up the volume. “If you’re too afraid to even listen to your own voice, how are you ever going to speak up when people ask you questions?” Liam finally pushed the door open and paused the playback. Chloe’s eyes reddened. “I’m just trying to help her.” Liam didn’t blame her. He handed me a glass of warm water and said softly, “Take five minutes. Then try one last time.” I stared at him. “Do you also think my voice is too embarrassing to be heard?” He avoided my gaze. “I’m busy, Sera. I just want to get this recorded and done with.” The last take was still a mess. The engineer gently suggested they just use subtitles for the bride’s part. Chloe picked up my script. “I’ll record a demo. Sera can take it home and practice.” She sat next to Liam. They read the lines back and forth, alternating sentences. She dragged out her words playfully. Liam tapped the desk, frowning. “Just speak normally.” “If you’re this mean, the bride is going to run away.” “You’re not the bride.” “Then why are you smiling?” Everyone outside the glass booth laughed. The engineer teased, “Your voices sound so good together. You guys sound like the actual married couple.” Chloe blushed and playfully shoved Liam. He dodged, but a smile lingered on his face. Soon, they finished the last line for me. “We finally made it to today.” When they played the final cut, Liam and Chloe’s voices blended seamlessly, alternating back and forth. It sounded like they were the ones who had walked hand-in-hand through the last seven years. I pulled off my headphones and spoke up for the first time: “Delete it.” Chloe’s smile froze. Liam checked his watch. “The wedding agency needs the video tonight. We’re using this version.” “Chloe spent the entire afternoon helping you and even stepped in to save the day.” “Seraphina, stop twisting her good intentions into something ugly.” On the way home, the final video was sent to our Snapchat group chat. The two of them shared a knowing, silent smile in the front seats. Just then, a notification from the Los Angeles hospital popped up on my phone. “We can hold your temporary bed for five days. Please confirm your admission.” I replied: “Confirmed.”

On Eleanor’s birthday, I ended up going to the Sterling estate anyway. Chloe sat in the passenger seat, turning around to smile at me. “Sera, I thought about it, and this is actually a great opportunity for your exposure therapy.” “Make sure you keep your mask off today!” When we arrived, there were over twenty relatives sitting in the living room. The moment the front door opened, all conversations died instantly. Every single pair of eyes landed heavily on my scarred right cheek. Chloe quickly linked her arm through mine. “Don’t worry, everyone. Sera has actually accepted her condition really well.” The moment she said that, a little boy ran to his mother, pointing at me and crying, “Her face is scary!” The mother quickly covered his mouth. “Kids say the darndest things, Sera. Please don’t take it to heart.” Though she apologized, she immediately pulled her child back two steps, away from me. Liam’s face darkened. “Make him apologize.” Eleanor tried to smooth things over. “He’s just a child, he doesn’t know any better. Today is my birthday, let’s not make everyone uncomfortable.” Chloe also tugged at Liam’s sleeve. “Forget it, Liam. Sera has to learn to face these things eventually.” Liam glanced at me, but ultimately let it go. At dinner, my seat was placed in a corner right next to the side door. Chloe sat directly next to Liam, helping him pour drinks and entertain the guests. I looked at her. “Why am I sitting all the way over here?” She quickly explained, “It’s quiet here. If you start feeling uncomfortable, you can slip out easily.” Liam pulled her behind him. “Chloe is sitting next to me to help out. Don’t make a big deal out of it.” I didn’t say another word. Halfway through the dinner, Aunt Claire suddenly asked, “Can Seraphina even eat normally with her mouth like that?” Before I could speak, Chloe answered for me. “She can’t chew anything hard, and water leaks when she drinks. But Liam is already used to taking care of her.” The table fell dead silent for a second. Aunt Claire looked at Liam, her voice filled with pity. “You’ve really had a tough time.” Another relative chipped in, “After an accident like that, a man with a conscience can’t just abandon her.” Liam frowned. “Sera got hurt saving my life.” Aunt Claire sighed. “That’s why you have to take responsibility for the rest of your life.” Chloe, wanting to break the heavy silence, playfully nudged Liam’s arm. “Did you hear that? You have to treat Sera right forever.” Liam pushed her hand away. “Just eat your food.” They bantered back and forth like a bickering couple, making the whole table laugh. Someone looked at them and joked, “Honestly, Chloe and Liam look like the actual couple.” Chloe blushed. “I’d never date him.” Liam smirked. “Mutual feeling.” They didn’t bother to correct anyone. I sat alone by the side door, completely shut out of their world. After dinner, Chloe played a birthday tribute video she had made for Eleanor. The car crash from seven years ago was only shown for a few seconds. There was no footage of me throwing myself in front of the truck. Instead, the screen showed Chloe staying by Liam’s side outside the operating room, bringing him food, and helping him home when he was drunk. Over the last seven years, she was in every single memory. She celebrated Eleanor’s birthdays, attended family dinners, and went to the hospital to visit me. I only appeared in a single, old group photo taken before the accident—standing at the very edge of the frame, my face still whole. When the video ended, Eleanor wiped her tears and squeezed Chloe’s hand. “All these years, you were the one who truly helped Liam get through it.” Chloe quickly looked at me. “Mrs. Sterling, Sera was the one who had it hardest.” But she never explained why my seven years had been reduced to a single photo. When we took a family photo, Eleanor pulled Chloe to stand next to Liam. I was pushed to the far right. When the photo was sent to the family group chat, Eleanor cropped it and set it as the group’s profile picture. In the cropped version, Liam and Chloe stood side-by-side. The entire right side, where I stood, was completely cut out. On the drive back, I asked Liam, “Did you see the new group chat photo?” “I was cropped out.” He stared at the road ahead, his voice sounding exhausted. “It’s just a crop, Sera. Don’t be so sensitive.” “Didn’t you say you hate people looking at your face?” I opened my mouth to say more, but he snapped, “Chloe goes out of her way to make you feel comfortable. Why are you always looking for faults in everything she does?” Chloe’s eyes welled up immediately. “It’s my fault. I’ll re-edit it.” Liam reached over and locked her phone. “No need.” He caught my eye in the rearview mirror. “Seraphina, today was my mom’s birthday. Did you really have to ruin it for everyone?” I didn’t reply. There was no place for me in the Sterling family photo. And soon, there wouldn’t be a place for me in their lives either.

Once we got home, Liam didn’t bring up the dinner again. He sat next to me, lightly touching the edge of my bandages. “After the wedding, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.” I had waited years to hear those words. But now, they didn’t spark a single emotion in me. That afternoon, they dragged me to the chapel for a wedding rehearsal. The planner handed us vow cards. “Write down your vows separately. No peeking.” The prompt on the card was simple: Why did you choose your partner? By the time I wrote my first line, Liam was still staring at the blank card. Ten minutes passed, and he had only written one sentence: I will take care of Seraphina Vance for the rest of my life. Chloe walked over, glanced at it, and said, “You call that a vow?” Liam tossed the pen on the table. “I’m not good at this.” “Let me help you pull it together.” Chloe gestured toward the dressing room. They walked in, one after the other. I hadn’t planned on following them. But then the planner asked me to bring the ring box to Liam. As I reached the door, I heard Chloe ask inside: “Why didn’t you write that you love her?” Silence fell for a few seconds. Liam finally spoke: “Of course I love her.” “But if she hadn’t saved you, if her face hadn’t been ruined, would you still marry her?” This time, the silence stretched even longer. “Liam, every time you look at her, the first thing you think of is that accident.” “You apply her ointment, you feed her, you promised to marry her.” “But you haven’t kissed the right side of her face in seven years.” My fingers clenched around the ring box so hard it dug into my palm. Liam’s voice was heavy. “Stop it, Chloe.” Chloe choked back a sob. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t force you to say these things. But it breaks my heart to see you like this.” “Only with me can you stop being the guy who eternally owes Sera.” Through the crack in the door, I saw Chloe holding his hand. Liam stared down at it and didn’t pull away. I handed the ring box to a passing staff member and walked back into the chapel. When the rehearsal started, Liam stood opposite me, reciting his revised vows. “Sera, thank you for bearing everything for me.” “For the rest of my life, it’s my turn to take care of you.” Applause echoed through the chapel. But I only heard two words: Thank you. The entire vow didn’t contain a single mention of love. I looked at him. “Liam.” “Are you marrying me because you love me, or because my face was ruined for you?” The room fell dead silent. Liam’s expression hardened. “I promised to take care of you forever. Isn’t that enough?” I smiled faintly. “I don’t need it anymore.” Chloe suddenly stood up. “It’s all my fault.” She ripped off her bridesmaid corsage, tears streaming down her face. “I shouldn’t have changed his vows, and I shouldn’t be at your wedding.” “I’ll leave. Is that what you want?” She turned and ran out of the chapel. Liam took two steps to chase her, then turned back to me. “You eavesdropped on us and humiliated her in front of everyone.” “Seraphina, just because I owe you doesn’t mean everyone has to yield to you forever.” He ran after Chloe, and the heavy chapel doors slammed shut in front of me. The speakers continued to mock me, looping his recorded vows: “For the rest of my life, it’s my turn to take care of you…”

As I reached my doorstep, the hospital in Los Angeles called. “There’s one thing we need to clarify, Ms. Vance.” “When a Ms. Bennett called us to cancel your surgery last week, we noticed she wasn’t the patient. So we called Mr. Liam Sterling to confirm.” My hand froze on the doorknob. “What did he say?” “Mr. Sterling confirmed that you both had discussed it and decided to cancel.” “We explicitly told him that while we couldn’t guarantee your face would look the same, it would fix your mouth closure and eating difficulties.” “But he still agreed to cancel.” I hung up, standing outside the door for a long time. When I pushed it open, Chloe was sitting on the sofa crying, and Liam was holding my iPad. The leaked video on TikTok had blown up. At first, comments mocked my face. But then, my coworkers recognized me. Someone leaked the truth of the accident, and someone else posted what really happened at the restaurant. Chloe’s excuse of “exposure therapy” completely fell apart. The backlash was massive. People were defending me, and Chloe’s personal accounts were doxed. Her company had received countless complaints and suspended her pending investigation. Liam saw me and thrust the iPad into my hands. “You’re back. Good.” On screen was a drafted apology and clarification statement. Liam sounded incredibly frustrated. “Chloe was only doing what was best for you. She shouldn’t lose her job over a silly video.” Chloe shook her head. “No, Liam. Sera has suffered so much. I can’t force her anymore.” Liam set his phone on the coffee table and started recording. “Sera, just read this statement.” I turned to walk to my bedroom. Liam grabbed my wrist. “Chloe’s investigation is tomorrow. She doesn’t have time to wait.” I tried to shake him off. “She brought this on herself!” His grip tightened, dragging me back in front of the camera. My hip slammed against the edge of the coffee table, sending a sharp, blinding pain through my body. Chloe rushed over to stop him. “Liam, don’t.” “Get out,” Liam barked. “But Sera—” “Get out!” Once the door slammed, Liam hit record again. “Read it.” I stared at the black mask covering my face and kept my mouth shut. He frowned. “Take it off.” “How is anyone going to believe you’re doing exposure therapy if you’re wearing a mask?” He reached out to rip it off. I held onto the straps, my voice breaking. “Liam, don’t touch me!” He hesitated for a fraction of a second, his voice softening. “Sera, it’ll take one minute.” Tears streaming down my face, I reached out to stop the recording. But Liam pinned my shoulders from behind and ripped the mask off my face with his other hand. The straps dragged violently across the raw skin of my right cheek. The freshly scabbed corner of my mouth tore instantly. Blood trickled down my scar, dripping onto the printed statement. I shook with pain. Liam’s face went pale. He let go immediately. “Sera, I didn’t mean to.” He scrambled to find the first-aid kit. But the phone was still recording. In the lens, I was covered in blood, looking even more pathetic than in Chloe’s leaked video. Liam returned with gauze, trying to press it to my wound. I stepped back. “If it were Chloe who was being attacked online, would you hold her down and force her to clear my name?” He remained silent for a long time. “She isn’t as strong as you, Sera.” “You’ve survived so much. Just help her this once.” I looked at the gauze in his hand and laughed. “Okay.” Liam finally let out a sigh of relief. “Rest up. I’ll drop Chloe off and come back to help you re-record.” The moment they left, I packed my bags and headed straight for the airport. On the way, my phone kept buzzing with his texts. “Did you dress the wound?” “We need to finish the video tonight.” “Chloe won’t stop crying. Don’t trigger her anymore.” I turned off my phone. Seven years ago, I threw myself in front of a truck for Liam. Seven years later, he tore my wounds open to shield Chloe from her own mess. This time, I was done protecting them.

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