After spending half a year on exchange in London,my boyfriend and my best friend came to pick me up at JFK. Ethan had always been so conservative he would not even loosen the collar of his shirt,yet now there was a black stud in his ear. I reached out without thinking,wanting to touch it. He turned his head away on instinct. “Don’t touch it.” My best friend Ava laughed and threw herself into my arms,then turned and gave him a gentle glare. “Ethan,didn’t I teach you?Don’t be so cold.” As soon as she finished speaking,Ethan actually lowered his head and offered his ear to me. I froze for a few seconds,until something hard pressed against my collarbone. I looked down.It was Ava’s earring. Exactly the same as the one in Ethan’s ear. Ava straightened and asked,”Molly,are you leaving again this time?” I suddenly smiled,”No.” Perfect.Then I would not have to turn down the engagement my mother had mentioned. … Ava linked her arm through mine affectionately. “That’s great.Otherwise Ethan would miss you and still pretend nothing was wrong.” Ethan frowned slightly,his voice cool. “I wouldn’t.” Ava let go of me and raised her hand as if to smack his shoulder. “You still deny it?Didn’t you promise me last night you would learn to say what you really feel?” Ethan gave a low”Mm,”then reached out and caught Ava just as she nearly stepped on the wheel of my suitcase. “Careful.You promised me something too.” “Only if you behave first.” Ava stuck her tongue out at him,pretty and playful,with the ease of someone used to being spoiled by him. A faint smile passed through Ethan’s eyes. I stood there,feeling as if a sheet of clear glass had fallen between me and them. All at once,I felt like someone peeking at a happiness that belonged to other people. This was an Ethan I had never seen before. He followed rules almost to the point of rigidity. His shirts were always pressed without a single crease,his top button always fastened. Even his kisses were restrained,just a light touch before he pulled away. But now he had not only pierced his ear.He had learned how to admit he was wrong. Ava waved a hand in front of my face. “What are you thinking about?Don’t worry.I’ve trained your iceberg boyfriend into a decent boyfriend.He’s ready for pickup.” I suddenly laughed,my voice turning cold. “So is he your boyfriend now,or mine?” Ava’s smile stiffened. “Molly,that’s not what I meant.I just wanted Ethan to be more open with you.” Ethan frowned.”Molly Harper,do you have to come back and start attacking people right away?” Suddenly,I felt tired of all of it. The dozen-hour flight was exhausting. So were the past three years. I waved a hand and cut him off.”Forget I said anything.” I dragged my suitcase forward by myself and opened the passenger door. On the dashboard lay an uncapped lip gloss,a dusty rose shade I would never wear in my life. I shut the door with a snap and got into the back seat. Ava walked over,her tone perfectly natural. “Molly,why are you sitting in the back?Don’t you get carsick?” “It’s fine.It’s not far.” Ava said nothing more and slid easily into the passenger seat. She turned back to look at me,the black diamond on her earlobe flashing clearly under the car lights. “We’re taking you to an amazing Mexican place.Even someone as picky as Ethan says it’s not bad.” I did not answer.I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. The moment we walked into the restaurant,the manager recognized them. “The window table again?The usual?You brought someone else today.A friend?” I glanced at Ethan.”I’m his girlfriend.” The manager froze for a second,then immediately swallowed whatever he had been about to say and led us to a table with an awkward smile. Before long,a table full of heavily seasoned Mexican dishes was set down,the smell of chilies and spices rushing up at me. My stomach turned. Ava kept putting food on my plate. Ethan suddenly said,”Eat your own food.She’s an adult.She doesn’t need you taking care of her like that.” After saying that,he pushed the steak he had already cut on his own plate over to Ava. Ava smiled until her eyes curved.”Fine.I’ll listen to you.” I said nothing.I only kept dipping the food on my plate into water again and again. Ethan’s fork stopped in midair.His throat moved once. “Do you want me to get you a soup that isn’t spicy?” Ava suddenly looked up.”Right,I almost forgot.Molly can’t eat spicy food.” The manager apologized.”The kitchen is slammed tonight,and the soup base is already sold out.I’m afraid we can’t change it.” Just then,my phone rang. I turned and walked outside. My mother’s voice was sour. “You went to your boyfriend the second you got off the plane,didn’t you?When are you going to remember to come see me?” “Mom,about the engagement you mentioned last time.Don’t cancel it.” “I thought you said you didn’t want to consider it…” Through the glass,I looked back inside. Ethan’s face was still cool,but his attention stayed on Ava. He picked out the food she liked and brushed away the hair that almost fell into her plate. “Not anymore,Mom.”
I returned to the restaurant.There was barely anything left on the table. Ava gave me an embarrassed smile. “You were gone for so long.Ethan kept insisting on giving me food.Should we order more?” Ethan’s tone was blunt.”She couldn’t eat it anyway.” I shook my head,picked up my bag,and walked out. Outside,a light rain had started. Ava spoke as if she had every right to decide for him.”Ethan,make sure Molly gets home safe.” Ethan’s voice came from behind me. “I’ll take you first.” Ava’s voice was coy.”My apartment is close by.” He frowned.”You just told me yesterday you hate rainy days.” I could not be bothered to listen anymore.I walked into the rain alone. “Then I’ll call a car myself.” Ethan paused. In the past,I would already have been asking him why with red eyes. But now I only stood by the curb and opened a ride-share app. He looked at me helplessly.”Stop making a scene.Stay there.I’ll take her home and come back for you.” The two of them soon disappeared into the rain. I got into the car I had called,and my phone vibrated. It was a message from a coworker. [Molly,weren’t you the one going to New York headquarters for training?Why is Ava’s name on the list?] I froze. I had spent an entire year preparing for that spot. Before I left for London,the department had clearly said it was basically mine,and they would start the paperwork when I came back. My hands shook as I typed. [When did this happen?] [Three months ago.I thought you knew.After all,Mr.Reed wrote the recommendation letter himself.He said your plans had changed and that you had voluntarily given it up.] I immediately scrolled back to the only message Ethan had taken the initiative to send me three months ago. He had written:[Study hard in London.Don’t overthink things.] Back then,I thought it was concern.It turned out to be nothing more than appeasement. When I got home,Ethan was already sitting on the living room sofa. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” He went into the bathroom,got a towel,and handed it to me. I took a small box from my bag and placed it on the coffee table. “For you.” Ethan opened it,then closed it again. “I’m not used to wearing rings.” I suddenly remembered those eleven nights. I had slowly taught myself how to design and polish a ring,cutting my hands three times and burning two blisters onto my fingertips,but the E engraved inside still came out crooked. Back then,I had foolishly hoped he might not notice. Of course he would never notice.He thought so little of it that he would never wear it at all. At that moment,all my patience reached its end. “So you can get used to an earring?” I grabbed the box and threw it straight into the trash. “You’ve been sulking all day because of this?”Impatience entered Ethan’s voice.”Ava gave me that.She’s your best friend.I couldn’t throw it away in front of her.” “Can you stop getting angry over little things like this?You said I was rigid.Now I’ve changed,and you’re still unhappy.” My eyes went red. “So you could also casually give her my headquarters spot?” Ethan’s gaze grew even colder. “You get carried away by your emotions too easily.So I thought Ava was a better fit.” He sighed and stood. “Calm down.Every position depends on suitability.I’ll recommend you for next year’s spot.” I wiped my face.My voice sounded hoarse and unfamiliar. “Let’s break up.” Ethan’s breath stopped for a second.But very quickly,his expression darkened. “Is that the only thing you know how to say?” My nails dug into my palm. In the past,to test whether he loved me,I had said we should break up many times. I had hoped he would coax me,even once.Even with one sentence. But every time,he only said carelessly,”Suit yourself,”then lowered his head and went back to whatever he was doing. I would have to hurry after him and say I had only been upset. After lowering my head first countless times,I taught him to believe I could not leave him. But this time,I was truly tired.
Early the next morning,I packed up everything. After three years,I had left shockingly few things here. Maybe Ethan had been right.Maybe he and I had never been suited for each other. The sound of a key turning came from the door. Ava came in smiling.When she saw the suitcase,her expression froze. “Are you two…moving?” Behind her,Ethan frowned deeply.”Are you serious?” Ava glared at him. “You came to my place last night.Why didn’t you tell me something this big happened?” “Didn’t I teach you how to make it up to her?Molly comes back and suddenly you forget again?” My heart went cold.So after he left last night,he had gone to Ava for comfort. “Then keep the boyfriend you’ve trained so well for yourself.” Ethan grabbed my suitcase,his brows pressed tight. “Stop it.Do you have to make Ava feel guilty?” Even now,the thing he cared about was whether Ava would feel guilty. I gave a cold smile and yanked my suitcase free. “Don’t worry.This time,I’m not making a scene.” Ethan sighed.”After all these years,who else could you go to besides chasing after me?” He looked exhausted,as if I were a problem waiting to be dealt with. “Molly,can you stop being so childish?No one is obligated to keep tolerating you.” For Ava,he remembered every post she made and every preference she had. When it came to his own girlfriend,suddenly he had no obligation to tolerate anything. I laughed at myself. Ava’s eyes reddened with anxiety. Ethan tugged at his collar,his tone mocking. “Don’t mind her.What hasn’t she done just to prove she’s important?” I dragged my suitcase out the door. This time,no one stopped me. On Monday,back at the office,Ava stopped me in the break room. “Molly,are you still angry?Because you two are fighting about breaking up,Ethan has been irritated for days.” I said nothing and poured myself a glass of water. “Ethan is just stubborn.He actually…” I looked at her,my voice calm.”You think I’m only making a scene too?” She froze. I went to HR and submitted my resignation. The HR manager was surprised.”You just got back from London,and you’re leaving already?” “I’m not suited for this place.” I had never been someone who could handle everything with ease. Back then,for Ethan,I had joined this investment bank without hesitation,and what I got in return was endless tears and blows. Whenever that happened,he would only say with a stern face:You’re too impulsive.You’re too emotional.Your tears won’t solve anything. HR nodded and did not ask more,only telling me to finish handing over my final project. I agreed.But on the day I submitted the report,something went wrong. More than a dozen senior executives sat in the conference room.Ethan sat in the center,his gaze fixed directly on me. “Molly Harper,this is the version you reviewed?” “Yes,but this set of data…” Ethan cut me off coldly.”Do you know how many investment decisions this model will affect?” A coworker beside me said quietly,”Molly just came back.She may still be adjusting to the time difference and the pace.” Ethan’s eyes stayed on me. “That is not an excuse.Personal emotions cannot affect work.The fact is,you were not careful enough.” “I need an explanation.” I looked at Ava.She kept her head down and said nothing. I drew a breath and met his eyes. “Mr.Reed,you’re right.I am not steady enough.” Ethan’s frown deepened. “But I already noted the original anomaly in this data on page three of the report.” I turned to that page and pushed it in front of him. “If the person responsible for the next step had corrected it according to procedure,there would have been no problem.” The conference room went quiet for two seconds. “I have never let personal issues affect my work.On that,my conscience is clear.” His eyes changed,as if a precise machine had suddenly jammed. Ava suddenly stood.”I’m sorry,everyone.I missed the follow-up on my part.” The coworker who had spoken up for me could not help muttering under her breath. “Only remembers to apologize after someone else gets torn apart.” Ethan glanced at Ava. “We’ll review this internally.No individual accountability.” A wave of nausea suddenly surged up. I rushed straight into the restroom and threw up until my whole body shook. When I came out,Ethan was standing by the door. “Do you have to torture yourself like this?Are you happy now?” I didn’t bother answering him.He did not know that I would never have to torture myself again. Ethan clicked his tongue and spoke as if granting me a favor. “You hinted before that you wanted to get engaged.I’ll consider it,all right?Stop embarrassing Ava.” Getting engaged was something I had hinted at countless times,but every time he had pretended not to understand. One sentence from him,”You’re putting a lot of pressure on me,”had been enough to make me feel sorry for him and blame myself for being too impatient. Now the thing I had once dreamed of was finally about to happen. And all I did was give a quiet laugh,then turn and leave.
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