On the first day of summer break,my parents found me another job. “Handing out samples at a warehouse store.The hourly pay is decent,and it’ll teach you how to deal with people.” They had been feeding me the same line every year since I started college. The first summer,they sent me to a meat-packing plant on the edge of town,then took my sister to Washington,D.C.,to watch the Fourth of July fireworks. The second summer,they made me work night shifts at a gas station convenience store,then paid for Ellie’s expensive driving lessons. The third summer,they put me to work as a cleaner at a neighborhood daycare,then took the whole family to the Bahamas with Ellie. So where were they going this year? “Italy.” My brother Noah walked in with a smile and handed me a pair of black non-slip shoes. “I bought these especially for you.The soles are soft,so standing for ten hours shouldn’t be too bad.” “I’m paying for the trip this time.Ellie’s only twenty-three.This is the age when she should be seeing the world.” Ellie squealed and threw herself into his arms. “I knew you loved me best,Noah.” I looked at my parents.One lowered her head to organize the plane tickets,while the other turned to close the window.Neither of them looked at me. It was as if I were decades older than Ellie instead of just one year. I suddenly smiled and crouched down to put on the shoes. They were light. Light enough to carry me out of this house. … Mom was packing Ellie’s suitcase in the living room when she suddenly looked up at Noah. “She graduates next year.You know plenty of people,so make sure you find her something easy and respectable.College graduates are everywhere these days.Jobs with real benefits are hard to come by.” Halfway through,her voice abruptly died away,as if she had only just remembered that she had another daughter in the room who was about to graduate. Noah did not notice. “Don’t worry.I’ve already spoken to a friend.As soon as Ellie gets her degree,she can join their marketing department.” Only then did he remember me. “Do you need any help,Claire?” “No.” I had already accepted an offer for an overseas management trainee position with a multinational corporation. As soon as my graduation documents arrived in a few days,I would leave. Noah nodded without asking anything else. Dad sensed the awkwardness and tried to smooth things over with a laugh. “Claire has always been independent.We’ve never had to worry about her.” My hands paused on the laces. I was not independent by nature. I had simply learned early that if I did not take care of myself,no one else would. Noah was the firstborn and had six years of our parents’undivided attention.Ellie was the youngest,the little princess of the family. And me?I was their child too,but no one had ever truly cherished me. Ellie came over and linked her arm through mine. “What do you want?I can bring you something from Rome.” She sounded sincere,but her eyes flickered. So even she knew how much I had been wronged over the years. But she would soon forget that brief pang of guilt. Whenever she traveled,she remembered the scarves Mom liked,the team ties Dad collected,and the old film rolls Noah wanted. She just never remembered anything about me. I was used to it.I merely smiled. “Whatever you like.” Mom jumped in at once.“See?Ellie thinks of you wherever she goes.If your sister is being this thoughtful,shouldn’t you do something for her too?” Dad seemed to have been waiting for that opening. “Why don’t you give Ellie part of your first paycheck as spending money for the trip?” “Oh,I don’t need it,”Ellie said lightly,glancing at me. Noah stroked her hair. “Don’t worry about money.Just enjoy yourself.” In a few sentences,they had divided up money I had not even earned yet.Not one of them asked what I thought. It had been the same every summer for four years. Last year,after paying my tuition,I had only a few dollars left in my bank account.I borrowed ten dollars from Ellie so I could buy dinner.Less than five minutes after she sent it,both Mom and Noah called me. “You’re an adult.How can you still take money from your little sister?” “If you’re short on living expenses,ask Mom and Dad.Don’t take advantage of Ellie.” But I had messaged Mom an hour earlier. She had not replied. When Ellie spoke,however,Mom always answered instantly. My phone vibrated.I carried the new shoes back to my bedroom and found a message from the company. “Your onboarding paperwork is complete.Please report to the Chicago office next Monday.” I replied,“Received.” There was a knock at my door.Ellie walked in and headed straight for my suitcase. “Mine is an ugly color.Let me use yours.” “No.I need it.” “What could you possibly need it for?You’re spending the whole summer at the store.” She did not want my suitcase because it was prettier.She wanted it because she would not care if the baggage handlers damaged it. Every time I had lent it to her before,it had come back with a few more dents. I did not explain again. She stared at me for several seconds.When I still refused to give in,she turned and slammed the door behind her. I began counting down in my head. Five,four,three,two,one. The door flew open with a bang. “Claire Miller.” Just as expected,my parents stood there.Noah and a red-eyed Ellie were behind them.
“Ellie only wants to borrow it once.Why do you have to be so mean?” “What kind of family can’t even share a suitcase?” “I told you,I need it.” This time,I did not give in. “Forget it.”Ellie sniffled.“If she doesn’t want to lend it to me,then she doesn’t have to.” My parents immediately put their arms around her and comforted her. Noah stared at me for a moment,then went to his room and returned with a sky-blue suitcase. “Use mine.” My fingers tightened around the door handle. I had spent a long time choosing that suitcase at an outlet store before giving it to him for his birthday. Ellie knew that.She deliberately glanced at me. “Are you sure?Claire might be upset.” Noah’s expression remained calm.He wanted to hurt me.He wanted to force me to back down. Before he could speak,I said,“I gave it to you.You can let anyone you want use it.” The room went silent for a moment. Noah snapped his head toward me and frowned,but he said nothing.He took the suitcase and left with Ellie. No one called me for dinner. By the time I came out,they were gathered around the table in the middle of a lively conversation. “I like warm gray walls.They make a house look expensive,”Mom said. Noah replied,“Cream white would work better with an open floor plan.It would make the place brighter too.” Ellie speared a piece of roast meat with her fork and grinned.“You can do whatever you want with the common areas.I’m choosing everything in my own bedroom.” Dad was eating happily when he caught sight of me from the corner of his eye.He coughed at once. Every voice stopped. They had bought a new house. I was the only person in the family who had not known. I sat down and took a bite of the salad closest to me.I forced it down,but my throat ached with the effort. My parents exchanged a look. Mom forced a smile.“Claire,we bought a new house.The bedrooms have already been assigned.You can go see it when you have time.” “When did you buy it?” “Six months ago.We never found the right time to tell you.” It was not that they had lacked an opportunity.They had never intended to tell me. I nodded,then asked,“What’s the door code?” “617923.” Noah’s birthday and Ellie’s birthday. I looked at Mom. “When is my birthday?” She stared at me in confusion. “Did you forget your own birthday?” Dad laughed,thinking I genuinely had. “You were born in December.There was a blizzard that day.Your mom slipped on the porch,went into labor early,and nearly died.She always says you were causing her trouble before you were even born.” Mom coughed uncomfortably. “Why bring up something that happened so long ago?” I lowered my head,but the hand holding my fork would not stop trembling. Not long after that,Noah and Ellie finished eating,dropped their plates in the sink,and left.Dad walked away from the table too.Mom was the last to stand. “The rule in this house is that the last person to finish cleans the kitchen.” Then she left as well. Cold food and a pile of dirty dishes covered the table. I was always the last one to finish eating. Because no one told me when dinner was ready. Mom called Noah.Dad knocked on Ellie’s door.By the time I smelled the food and came out,half of it had already been picked over. That was why the kitchen always became my responsibility too. I was halfway through cleaning when my grandparents video-called us. “Noah said you’re taking Ellie to Italy?” “That’s right.Do you want any souvenirs?”Mom asked with a smile. Grandma waved her hand,then asked,“Isn’t Claire going?” Mom answered without hesitation. “She doesn’t want to.She’d rather work and get more experience.” “That girl…”Grandpa sighed,but he did not ask anything else. For four years,Mom had always answered for me. “Isn’t Claire going to the theme park?” “She doesn’t like those places.She wants to stay home and study.” “Isn’t Claire going skiing with you?” “She isn’t athletic.” “Why isn’t Claire in the family pictures?” “She doesn’t like having her picture taken.” According to them,I was a gloomy,antisocial girl who cared about nothing but work. By pretending their neglect was my choice,they made sure no one could object on my behalf.
The doorbell suddenly rang. I placed the plate in the drying rack,wiped the moisture from the corner of my eye,and went to open the door. “Claire Miller?I need your signature.” It was the graduation packet from my university. The moment I held the envelope,something inside me suddenly felt lighter. I could finally leave. “What is it?” Noah stood behind me holding a cup of coffee.He noticed the smile on my face. “My graduation documents.” He said,“Oh,”walked two steps away,then stopped. “What do you want as a graduation present?I promised I’d get you something.” I had not expected him to remember. But I had never truly expected a gift either. After thinking for a few seconds,I looked up at him. “Come with me to the travel clinic tomorrow.I need some vaccinations.” The company required employees assigned abroad to update their vaccinations so there would be no problems with immigration or insurance reviews. “That’s all?”He sounded surprised. “That’s all.” He agreed without giving it much thought. The next afternoon,I put the appointment papers in my bag and waited by the door. Noah came out wearing that familiar look of exasperation. “Ellie still needs a few outfits for the trip.I’ll take her to the outlet mall first,then come back and go with you.” “My appointment is already scheduled.” “Then reschedule it.She leaves tomorrow.Obviously,hers is more urgent.” I was about to respond when Ellie’s eyes turned red.She twisted the hem of her shirt and said softly,“Forget it.I won’t buy anything.Go with Claire.” Noah refused at once. “Don’t be ridiculous.It’s your first time in Rome.Of course you need a few nice outfits.” After saying that,he seemed to realize how openly biased he sounded,so he threw the decision at me. “What do you think,Claire?” He looked at me,his eyes urging me to give the right answer. They pretended the choice was mine. But we all knew I could only say what they wanted to hear. I was silent for a few seconds.Then I smiled. “Go with her.” Noah visibly relaxed. Ellie ran over and kissed my cheek. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” I took the bus to the clinic alone. After getting my shots,I booked a seat on a long-distance bus to Chicago for the next day. When I got home,Ellie was showing off the clothes she had bought.At the end,she held up two shopping bags containing gifts for our parents. Mom beamed.The moment she saw me from the corner of her eye,her smile faded. “Look how thoughtful Ellie is.Even when she goes shopping,she remembers us.When have you ever bought anything for this family?” “With what money?” Before Ellie left,Mom had put a thousand dollars on the authorized-user card tied to her account.Mom knew perfectly well that Ellie had used their money to buy those gifts,yet she still used them as a weapon against me. “What is that supposed to mean?”Mom froze,then raised her voice.“Are you blaming me for not giving you money?You’re twenty-four years old.Why are you still competing with your little sister?” “I’m twenty-four.She’s twenty-three.” “Enough!”Dad snapped.“You’re a grown woman.Do you really have to fight with your mother over a few gifts?” Noah frowned at me too. “Claire,why have you become so difficult lately?” With everyone on her side,Mom’s eyes immediately filled with tears. She covered her face and went to her bedroom as if she had been the one wronged all along.
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