Chapter 1 My water broke unexpectedly before my due date. I frantically woke up Julian, telling him to grab the hospital bag and get me to the hospital. Just as we were about to walk out the door, my best friend, Chloe, ran out of the guest room barefoot. “Oh, wait! I haven’t washed my hair yet!” My stomach cramped painfully, but Julian actually stopped. “Okay, no rush. Put some shoes on first.” Chloe stood in front of the mirror, brushing her hair and pouting. “Don’t worry, Sarah, I’ll be super fast.” “We agreed I’m going to be the baby’s godmother and the first one to hold her! I can’t take pictures with greasy hair.” Then, she casually tossed an order at Julian. “I’m gonna go wash my hair. Can you wipe down my white sneakers? I want to wear them today.” Without a second of hesitation, Julian dropped my hospital bag and started scrubbing her shoes. My parents called on FaceTime after getting the news. Their faces were pale with panic. “We’re on our way. We already called your doctor. Get there as fast as you can!” I looked at Julian, enduring the pain. “I’m already dilating. If we don’t go right now, the baby and I are both in danger.” Julian let out a soft, dismissive laugh. “Having a baby doesn’t happen that fast. We’d just be sitting around waiting anyway. Stop being so dramatic.” Dramatic. My water just broke, and he was calling me dramatic. I watched him meticulously scrubbing Chloe’s shoes, and suddenly, I felt profoundly exhausted by it all. I quietly sent a text message to someone else. “You said you wanted both me and the baby, right? I’m giving birth in about half an hour.” “If you make it in time, you’re the father.” … The reply came almost instantly. “?” “Okay. It’s a deal.” The shower was running loudly in the bathroom. Julian didn’t rush her at all. Instead, he carefully plugged in the hairdryer and set it to the warm setting for her. Meanwhile, the heavy, dragging pain in my lower abdomen intensified. I slid down the wall and collapsed onto the floor. My doula, Mary, couldn’t watch this anymore. She helped me lie flat on the sofa. “Dad, you really shouldn’t delay this any longer. Her water broke. The baby could suffocate at any moment. You need to be at the hospital within half an hour.” “You still have to drive there. What if she goes into a difficult labor?” My sister-in-law chimed in too. “She’s not even at her due date yet! This is a premature rupture of membranes. She has to go to the ER immediately.” “Even if the mother can wait, the baby can’t!” Everyone was staring at him anxiously, but Julian didn’t even look up. He was busy packing Chloe’s skincare products. “It’s fine. Chloe’s just washing her hair.” Then he looked at me, attempting to be soothing. “Having a baby takes hours. Worst case scenario, we just do a C-section. You didn’t want a natural birth anyway.” I looked at him, my voice trembling. “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is when your water breaks?!” “Mhm.” Julian turned his head, staring at the bathroom door, giving a half-hearted hum. He clearly hadn’t heard a word I said. I took a deep breath and violently hurled a throw pillow at him. “I said, the baby and I could die at any second! I need to go to the hospital RIGHT NOW! Are you deaf?!” Julian was stunned by my screaming. Irritation flashed in his eyes. “Are you having another meltdown? Ever since you got pregnant, you expect the whole world to revolve around you.” “Chloe is just washing her hair! You can’t even wait five minutes? Weren’t you the one who promised she could be the godmother?” The shouting in the living room alerted Chloe. She ran out of the bathroom with dripping wet hair, acting all cutesy. “Please, please, please! Didn’t we agree ages ago that I’m going to be the godmother?” “These are the most important photos of my life! How can I take them looking like a greaseball? Let me just blow-dry it, it’ll be super quick.” As soon as the hairdryer turned on, Julian took it from her. “You’re too slow. Let me do it, then we’ll leave.” Watching Julian meticulously dry Chloe’s hair, a sour bitterness filled my chest. In my third trimester, whenever I asked him to help dry my hair, he always made excuses about being too tired from work. Just as I was thinking this, a sharp, violent pain tore through my stomach. More amniotic fluid leaked out. Mary quickly helped clean me up, but her face suddenly dropped. “Oh my god, your fluid is turning yellow.” “That means there’s meconium in the fluid. We seriously cannot wait another second!” The hairdryer was buzzing so loudly neither of them heard her. Mary marched over and yanked the plug out of the wall. “The mother needs to go to the hospital immediately!” Chloe looked at Julian in shock. “Since when does a doula get to boss people around in your house? I’m just washing my hair and she’s throwing a fit?” Julian scoffed coldly. “I told her my mom could come help, but she insisted on hiring someone. What am I supposed to do?” He turned the hairdryer back on. Neither of them showed an ounce of concern for me or my baby. Instead, they were complaining about my decision to hire a doula. Eventually, the hospital called to rush us. “It’s 10:20 AM. Where is the patient? The delivery room is prepped and the doctors are ready. You must arrive before 11:00 AM. Do not take any chances with this.” The hairdryer stopped again. This time, I pulled the plug. I was gasping for air. “11:00 AM. I have to be at the hospital.” “Fine, fine, fine, we’re going right now. You always blow things out of proportion.” Under my desperate urging, Julian reluctantly grabbed the hospital bag and followed me out the door. At that moment, my parents and my brother arrived. Seeing that I still hadn’t left, their faces immediately darkened. “Why are you still here?! Hurry up and go!” But before I could even step out the door, Chloe shrieked again. She touched her hair, looking frustrated. “Oh no, I forgot to curl my hair! How am I supposed to take good pictures like this?” “Can we wait just a little bit longer? Curling it will be super fast!” My mom couldn’t help but intervene. “How about you stay here and finish getting ready? We’ll take Sarah to the hospital first. This is a matter of life and death, we can’t wait.” Chloe casually plugged in her curling iron, not in a rush at all. “Auntie, don’t worry! I’ll be done in a second, let’s just go together.” “I’m the godmother! I have to look beautiful when I’m the first one to hold her!” “If you’re coming, then hurry the hell up! My sister’s life is on the line, we’re not waiting for you to do your makeup!” My brother snapped at Chloe. Her hand paused on the curling iron, and she immediately put on a crying voice. “Why are you yelling at me?! I’m not doing it on purpose! I’m already going as fast as I can!” “How was I supposed to know her water would break today? I wasn’t prepared for this either, I’m stressed out too!” My mom ignored her, supporting my weight as we headed for the stairs. My dad and brother ran ahead to start the car. But Julian, without a second thought, stepped back into the living room. “It’s okay, take your time curling it. Don’t burn yourself.” Hearing this, my mom shot Julian a deeply disturbed look. Inside my belly, the baby was kicking and thrashing wildly from lack of oxygen. I inhaled sharply from the pain and glared at Julian. “I have to be at the hospital by 11:00 AM.” “It is 10:30 AM right now. Are you coming or not?” Seeing my pale, exhausted face, a flicker of guilt crossed Julian’s eyes. He forcefully pushed me back onto the sofa to sit down, trying to comfort me. “Stop acting out. You’re just faking the pain because you want me to prioritize you.” “Chloe will be done soon. Just be good.” I was forced to lie back down on the sofa. The contractions were no longer just a dull ache; they were turning into a sharp, agonizing pain. Chloe was still checking herself out in the mirror. When our eyes met, cold sweat was pouring down my forehead. She stuck her tongue out at me. “Since my hair is already curled, I might as well throw on some quick makeup. It’ll only take a few minutes.” “Julian, come help me pick! Does this nude shade or the rose color look better?” My sister-in-law, who had been quiet until now, finally exploded. “Enough is enough! Sarah is waiting to go to the hospital!” But Chloe just walked over and linked arms with her, her tone dripping with envy. “Sarah is so lucky. She’s having a baby and even her sister-in-law comes rushing over.” “Not like me. Nobody loves me. I just want to look pretty for one photo, I’m sure Sarah will understand, right?” I was in too much pain to speak, so she took my silence as a yes. Julian looked at me too. “Five more minutes, max. Once she’s done, we leave immediately.” Another contraction ripped through me. I gripped the bedsheets desperately until the wave of agony passed before I could finally speak. “Julian. On the day we were supposed to get our marriage license, she said she wanted to come along. You insisted we wait for her. She overslept, the courthouse closed, and we still aren’t legally married.” “At our wedding, she was supposed to be a bridesmaid, but she insisted on riding in your car. She got drunk the night before and made you miss the ceremony time.” “Today is the last time I will ever ask you this. Do you choose me and our child, or do you choose to wait for her?” Julian’s face went completely dark. “Are you seriously using the fact that you’re in labor to bring up old arguments?!” Chloe dramatically covered her mouth. “Wow, Sarah, I didn’t know you held such grudges! Do pregnant women just have nothing better to do than try and pick fights with people?” “Whatever. I’m not going to argue with a pregnant lady. But I’m not done getting ready yet.” I looked at her. It was supposed to just be a hair wash. Then it became makeup. Next, she would definitely need to pick out an outfit. She wouldn’t be out that door for another hour. At 10:40 AM, there were streaks of blood in my amniotic fluid. I ignored them completely, biting down hard on my lip to stop myself from screaming in pain. “Take your time getting ready. I won’t be joining you.” Hearing that I was leaving, Chloe sprinted over and blocked the door. “Oh my gosh, what’s a few more minutes?! I’ll be done so fast! Do you really want me looking ugly when I hold my goddaughter? These are the most important photos of my life!” At 10:45 AM, another gush of fluid ran down my legs. I could barely stand. My brother called, frantically rushing us. “Why aren’t you down here yet?! The hospital keeps calling! If we aren’t there by 11:00 AM, the chances of both mother and baby surviving drop drastically!” “Every minute we delay is another minute of danger!” The contractions were hitting me wave after wave. I was in so much pain I couldn’t even form a complete sentence. My sister-in-law snatched the phone from me and roared into it. “It’s not that we don’t want to leave! It’s because ugly people take forever to get ready, and she’s refusing to leave but won’t let us out the door either!” “Fine, stay right there. I’m coming up with Dad.” When my dad stormed upstairs, Chloe was meticulously applying false eyelashes in front of the mirror. He suppressed his rage and turned to Julian. “Julian, I have never treated you poorly. When you married my daughter, I told you I didn’t want a car, a house, or a dowry. All I asked was that you treat her well.” “What did you promise me back then?” “And now, you’re risking my daughter’s life to wait for someone else? Do you think this is acceptable?!” My brother’s fists were clenched tight. “Julian, when you pursued Sarah, you swore you’d be good to her for the rest of your life. That’s the only reason I let you have her.” “We’ve all seen how much she’s suffered through this pregnancy. And now you’re telling her to wait? Tell me, how exactly do you put giving birth on hold?!” “But… I’m the godmother! If my hair is greasy, how am I supposed to take pictures?” “Yeah! Sarah already promised Chloe could be the godmother.” The two of them played off each other, somehow spinning this to make it my fault again. My dad couldn’t hold back anymore. He shouted furiously. “Godmother?! What the hell is a godmother compared to the actual mother?!” “So you’re saying Sarah has to wait? She has to wait for this girl to finish her pathetic little performance before my daughter is allowed to give birth?!” My dad was usually the peacemaker. In the past, he was always so warm and welcoming to Julian. Whenever we argued, he would always tell me to reign in my temper. This was the first time I had ever seen him so enraged. Julian lowered his head. Meanwhile, Chloe finally finished applying her last eyelash. She stepped in front of Julian. “Sir, that’s really unfair. What do you mean ‘waiting for me’? Even if we go to the hospital, we’ll just be waiting there too! Why aren’t you yelling at the doctors?” “And Sarah, if you hadn’t asked me, I wouldn’t even want to be the godmother! Now you’re acting like this is all my fault.” “Fine! It’s all my fault! I shouldn’t have even come!” The next second, she stormed back into the guest room and slammed the door so hard the walls shook. Another violent contraction hit me. My vision went completely black, and I almost collapsed to my knees. My family rushed to grab me, trying to carry me downstairs. But Julian still refused to leave. He blocked the door, his voice low and heavy. “Sarah, does a few minutes really make that much of a difference? What is the point of fighting over a few minutes?” “You were the one who asked her to be the godmother! Now you’ve caused this huge scene. Go apologize to her right now.” “Or do you want your child to be born without a father present?!” He knew perfectly well how terrified I was of giving birth. We had agreed ages ago that he would be in the delivery room with me and that he would cut the umbilical cord. So now, he was threatening me. If Chloe didn’t leave, neither would he. If that’s how it was going to be, then I’d just get my child a new father. After all, ever since I sent that text, my phone had been blowing up with messages. The most recent one read: “Almost there.” At 10:50 AM, the hospital called again. “Where exactly is the patient? Do you need us to dispatch an ambulance? Based on the symptoms you described, her amniotic fluid is likely almost completely drained.” “If she isn’t admitted immediately, you will be responsible for the consequences.” My mom was so frantic her voice was shaking. “Did you hear the doctor?! The fluid is almost gone! Get out of the way!” Inside the guest room, Chloe cried even louder. “It’s fine, you guys go ahead! Don’t worry about an outsider like me!” “Someone like me doesn’t deserve to be the baby’s godmother anyway!” Julian panicked. He stood outside the door and promised her loudly: “If you don’t go, I won’t go either.” The moment those words left his mouth, everyone’s faces changed. 10:52 AM. Enduring the contractions, I directed my mom to pack all my jewelry, bank books, and important documents. Seeing me packing my valuables, Julian’s rage finally exploded. “What the hell are you doing now?! Can’t you just go apologize?!” “I’m telling you, this silent treatment isn’t going to work on me anymore. Don’t expect me to come crawling to your parents’ house begging you to come back this time.” I touched my rock-hard stomach and used every ounce of strength I had left to shove him out of the way. “I said, I’m going to the hospital. The baby has stopped moving.” “Fine, go! But don’t come crying to me later!” Julian stepped aside, absolutely certain that I would need his signature to proceed with the delivery. Hearing this, Chloe suddenly stopped crying. She poked her head out the door. “Julian, you should probably go. Don’t worry about me. Her whole family is watching, after all.” She made it sound like she was being considerate, but she was really just taking a jab at my family for being overly involved. I didn’t have time to deal with them. Clutching my stomach, I stumbled down the stairs. Baby, please just hold on a little longer for Mommy. Please. But when we reached the garage, my car was gone. When I got pregnant, my parents bought me a luxury minivan to make things easier. But the parking spot was empty. My brother made a phone call. “You bastard! Where is my sister’s car?!” Chloe, who had just demanded we wait for her, suddenly wasn’t in a rush anymore. She ran down the stairs holding her bangs, frantically trying to explain. “I told Julian! I borrowed the car for a couple of days! I was going to return it soon!” I completely ignored her and dialed 911. “Hello, I need to report a stolen…” Before I could finish the sentence, Julian slapped the phone out of my hand. He grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. “You wanted to go to the hospital, right? Fine! Let’s go right now! Happy?” He shoved me into his sedan and drove like a maniac, speeding and slamming on the brakes. Huge drops of cold sweat rolled down my face. My mom kept pleading with him. “Slow down! Drive safe!” His voice was cold and hard. “Just a minute ago you couldn’t wait five minutes, now you want me to slow down?” At 10:57 AM, we finally arrived at the hospital. The ER staff had a gurney waiting outside for me. The operating room was prepped. They just needed a family member’s signature to wheel me in. Just as Julian picked up the pen, Chloe suddenly let out an annoyed groan. “Oh no! I forgot to put on my press-on nails! My hands are gonna look so ugly in pictures! Sarah, wait just a second, let me glue these on before we take a picture.” 10:58 AM. I was completely pale from the agonizing pain. I could only force out a few broken words. “Hurry… sign it…” The doctors and nurses all sternly warned Julian. “Sign it right now! The amniotic fluid is severely contaminated. If it enters her bloodstream, it’s over.” “The optimal window for intervention closes at 11:00 AM. Every single minute is critical.” Julian hesitated with the pen. He wrote one stroke, then stopped, turning back to me. “Can we just wait a second? Gluing on nails is super fast.” I closed my eyes. I could feel something tearing, dropping heavily inside me. Julian kept rambling. “We’re already at the hospital anyway, what difference does a minute make? She just wants a nice photo for the memories.” I was delirious from the pain. I roared with whatever breath I had left: “Sign it, or get the fuck out!” “What is your problem?!” 10:59 AM. The elevator doors chimed and slid open. A man in a black suit strode out rapidly. He shoved Julian aside and stepped right to the front. “She means, get the fuck out.” “I am the father of this child. I will sign it.”
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