This Time, I Will Be the One to Walk Away First

1 Dad left me behind at preschool again. All because of my godmother’s daughter. I sobbed into the phone as I called Mom. “Mom, please come get me. I’m sorry, I promise I won’t fight with Vivian for Dad’s attention anymore.” Mom rushed over, scooping up my shivering, rain-soaked body and carrying me into the car. I curled into a ball, whispering my apology. “I’m sorry, Mom. I was the one who told Vivian that Dad took us to the aquarium. That’s why she threw a tantrum and demanded he take her, too.” Mom froze, the towel halting against my wet hair. “Are you telling me Finn left you stranded in the middle of a hurricane warning just to take Valerie’s daughter to the aquarium?” Valerie was Mom and Dad’s close friend, and my godmother. Mom used to say that the bond between the three of them was worth more than gold. So even when Dad abandoned us time and time again to run to Valerie and Vivian’s side, Mom never uttered a single word of complaint. Seeing Mom’s face darken, I frantically waved my little hands. “It’s okay! I’m just not used to it yet. I mean, Dad leaves you behind all the time, and you’re always fine. I’ll be fine too, once I get used to it.” Mom froze. After a long silence, a faint, sad smile touched her lips. “Then this time, let’s leave Dad behind. We won’t wait for him anymore.” … My eyes lit up. “Really? Can we have spicy Buffalo chicken wings tonight? The really spicy kind?” Mom’s smile grew bitter. She gently stroked my hair and nodded. “From now on, we’ll eat whatever we want. We don’t have to walk on eggshells for anyone else.” I took after Mom. We both loved spicy food. But Aunt Valerie and Vivian couldn’t tolerate even a hint of spice. Whenever we had group dinners, every single dish on the table had to be incredibly bland. I once whispered to Mom, asking why we couldn’t just order one dish we actually liked. Mom glanced at Dad, who was busy piling food onto Valerie’s plate, and offered me an apologetic smile. “When we get home, I’ll make it just for you.” Mom’s cooking was the best in the world. Once, I shared my leftover spicy chicken with Vivian, who kept begging for a bite. I didn’t expect her to turn red and choke, gasping for air. After that day, Dad banned all spicy food from our house. Swinging my legs on the chair, I decided that not waiting for Dad was the best thing ever. True to her word, Mom made me a big plate of fiery chicken as soon as we got home. But before I could even pick up my fork, the front door clicked open and Dad walked in. He frowned, his eyes narrowing in disapproval. “Didn’t I tell you not to cook such heavy, spicy food in this house?” Mom calmly scooped some rice into my bowl, her expression placid. “Stella wanted it, so I made it for her. Besides, it’s not like you can’t eat spicy food.” I blinked, suddenly remembering that Dad actually loved spicy food. It was just that whenever Aunt Valerie was around, both Mom and Dad always catered entirely to her preferences. Seeing my damp, dripping hair, Dad’s tone softened slightly. “Just this once. Don’t make it again.” He fetched a dry towel from the bathroom and gently began drying my hair. “Today was an emergency, Stella. You have to understand your dad. “You know how hard it is for your godmother to raise Vivian all on her own after her divorce. We should help out wherever we can. You need to be the bigger person and let Vivian have her way sometimes.” I was about to nod obediently when Mom suddenly pulled me into her embrace. She stared at Dad, her voice cold and flat. “If you want to play hero for them, that’s your business. Leave Stella out of it.” The loud roar of the hairdryer drowned out the rest of their conversation. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could see the sour look on Dad’s face. Hearing me sneeze a few times, Dad let out a weary sigh. “I went too far this time. It won’t happen again. “But today was Vivian’s birthday. Her only wish was to go to the aquarium. As adults, we have to make sure children’s wishes come true.” I muttered under my breath, “That’s a lie. She told me her birthday wish was for you to be her real dad.” Dad froze, his body stiffening as he snapped, “What nonsense are you talking about?!” Frightened by his sharp tone, tears welled up in my eyes, and my voice grew louder. “I heard her! When she called you Dad, you answered! “And she said she wished you and Aunt Valerie would be together, and you didn’t even say no!” Mom quietly wiped away my tears without saying a word. Dad panicked, reaching out to touch my shoulder. “It’s just a game kids play, Stella. Don’t take it seriously. “Summer, we’ve known Valerie for a lifetime. If there were anything between us, it would have happened years ago. I’m just helping a dear friend pull through a rough patch. You understand me, don’t you?” Mom’s eyes rimmed with red, her voice dripping with years of quiet heartbreak. “Of course I understand. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have spent my third trimester taking care of her while she was recovering from childbirth.” Mom had told me that Aunt Valerie had a terrible time delivering Vivian. The moment her ex-husband’s family found out it was a girl, they abandoned her at the hospital without even looking at the baby. While Valerie was drowning in divorce lawyers and diaper changes, it was Mom, six months pregnant with me, who cooked her meals and cleaned her house, making sure Valerie stayed healthy. Meanwhile, Mom lost weight from the sheer exhaustion, nearly fainting on the street from low blood sugar. Mom let out a hollow laugh, her lips curling into a bitter smile. “Which is why I don’t understand. I treated her like a sister. Why does she keep taking it out on my daughter?” Dad’s expression soured. “It was just a rainy day, Summer. You’re blowing this way out of proportion.” Mom gripped her fork so hard her knuckles turned white. She took a deep, shaky breath, pulled out her phone, and opened her social media feed. The latest post was from Valerie: “With you two, I finally know what happiness feels like.” The attached photo showed Dad holding Vivian in his arms, smiling warmly next to Valerie at the aquarium. The comments below were from people I knew all too well, my grandparents. “Vivian is such a beautiful girl,” my grandmother had commented. “You three look like a real family. You’re a thousand times better than the daughter-in-law we got.” My grandfather added: “Your mother and I always thought you were the perfect match for Finn. What a shame some people just got lucky.” Even some of Mom’s mutual friends had liked the post, commenting on how great they looked together. Mom held up the glowing screen, her smile dead. “They think you’re a family. So what are Stella and I to you?” Dad rubbed his temples, his face lined with irritation. “You know how my parents are. They just speak their minds without thinking. Why are you letting it get to you?” He paused, glancing at the screen, and his face hardened. “Go ahead and unlike the post. Valerie will get anxious if she sees you noticed. “Remember when you liked her post of her trying on wedding dresses? She was so worried you were mad at her that she almost skipped our wedding.” Mom had told me that her wedding was delayed by three hours. It wasn’t because of the venue or the weather. Valerie had gone missing right before the ceremony, and Dad had abandoned his own bride to search for her for three agonizing hours. And Mom had stood there, wearing a custom-made gown that Valerie had already tried on, waiting in an empty chapel for three hours. Remembering this, I gently tugged at Mom’s sleeve. “Mom, you should probably unlike it. If Aunt Valerie gets upset, Dad will leave you behind again.” Dad flinched, the memory of the wedding finally piercing through his defensiveness. “I didn’t mean it like that, Stella. I just don’t want any misunderstandings.” Mom turned off the screen and carried me into the bedroom, closing the door behind us. “It doesn’t matter. Let her think whatever she wants.” Outside, the sky turned a deep, bruised purple, with distant lightning flickering through the heavy clouds. Dad knocked softly and walked in, carrying a warm glass of milk for Mom. “There’s a bad storm coming. Stay here with Stella.” Mom’s hand froze as she took the glass. Dad cleared his throat, avoiding her eyes. “You know how terrified Valerie is of thunder. I need to go over and make sure she’s okay.” I opened my mouth, wanting to scream at Dad that Mom was terrified of thunder too. But Mom squeezed my hand, her voice soft and emotionless. “Go then.” Dad frowned, looking slightly taken abashed. But before he could speak, his phone rang loudly. Vivian’s frantic voice echoed through the speaker. “Finn! Why aren’t you here yet? Mommy is crying, she’s so scared!” Valerie’s soft, breathless voice drifted through the line. “Vivian, stop it. Don’t bother Finn. I’m so sorry, Finn. I’m fine, really. Stay with Summer. I know she’s terrified of storms too.” Dad paused, a flicker of guilt crossing his face as he remembered Mom’s phobia. But within seconds, he grabbed his keys and headed for the door. “Summer is an adult, Stella. She’s not fragile.” After the front door clicked shut, Mom stared at the empty hallway for a long time. I patted the pillow beside me. “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll protect you.” Mom offered me a weak smile, then shook her head. “It’s okay. It’s not the first time.” She whispered that years ago, Dad had once stepped out of an important international conference just to stand outside her door during a storm. “The thunder was deafening, but I wasn’t scared at all,” she murmured. “But later, I found out he wasn’t working. He was on a video call with Valerie the entire time. He comforted her for as long as the rain fell.” Despite her trembling limbs, Mom wrapped her arms tightly around me. When a massive thunderclap shook the house, the power cut out, plunging us into total darkness. Her voice shook as she sang soft lullabies to keep me calm. As I drifted off to sleep, my hand brushed against a wet patch on the pillow. It wasn’t mine. Mom was crying in the dark. “I’ve been chasing after them for so long,” she whispered. “I’m just so tired, Stella.” I reached out in the dark, gently wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Then let’s stop running. You can just stay with me.” Mom went quiet for a long moment, then gave a soft, decisive nod. “Okay. Let’s stop running.” The storm cleared by morning. Grandfather called, inviting us over to the family estate. “I haven’t seen Stella in forever. Let’s have a nice family dinner.” But we didn’t expect to find other guests waiting for us. When Valerie and Vivian walked into the dining room, Mom froze, a set of silver cutlery clutched in her hand. Dad walked in right behind them, offering a quick, dismissive explanation. “The more the merrier. It’s just a casual dinner.” Mom kept her head down, staying silent. My grandparents were thrilled. They practically shoved Mom and me out of our usual seats to let Valerie and Vivian sit next to them, relegating us to the far corner of the table. “Valerie, you’ve done such an amazing job as a museum curator,” Grandmother gushed. “Vivian is so talented. She’s won so many art awards at such a young age. “Exactly,” Grandfather chimed in. “I wish Vivian were our actual granddaughter. At least we’d have something to show off to our friends.” I kept my eyes glued to my plate, picking at my food. Mom squeezed my hand under the table, then looked up, her expression perfectly serene. “It’s not too late to change that, you know.” Grandmother’s brow furrowed, her voice turning sharp and grating. “Don’t you take that tone with me. Am I wrong? Stella has the exact same opportunities, yet she can’t compete with Vivian at all. She hasn’t won a single trophy or even stood on a stage. It’s embarrassing.” Grandfather sighed heavily. “It comes down to genetics. If Finn had married Valerie, who was always at the top of her class, we wouldn’t have this problem. “When Finn and Valerie were discussing art, Summer was just the girl sweeping the studio floors. They were never from the same world.” Sitting across from us, Vivian smirked, tossing her curls. I pulled my shoulders in, murmuring, “I’m sorry…” Mom gently covered my ears with her hands, her voice unwavering. “You did nothing wrong, sweetheart. You don’t need to apologize.” She glared across the table at Dad. “Finn, are you really just going to sit there while your parents insult Stella and me?” Dad was busy peeling shrimp for Valerie. He shrugged, completely unbothered. “They aren’t lying, Summer. You don’t have Valerie’s artistic talent, and Stella is average compared to Vivian. You’ve known this forever. Why are you making a scene now?” Grandmother smirked, pulling an elegant, heavy gold bracelet from her purse and sliding it onto Valerie’s wrist. “This is the family heirloom, meant for the true lady of the house. But I’ve always loved you, Valerie. I want you to have it.” Mom’s face drained of color. She bit her lip so hard it nearly bled. “And I suppose I should just accept this, too?” Valerie glanced nervously at Mom, feigning reluctance as she tried to pull her hand back. “No, this belongs to Summer. I can’t take it.” I slipped off my chair, wanting to beg Dad to stop them. But before I could speak, Dad let out a dry, mocking chuckle. “Do you have to humiliate me in front of my family, Summer? It’s just a piece of jewelry. Why do you have to be so incredibly petty? If you want a gold bracelet so badly, I’ll buy you a similar one tomorrow.” Mom sat in silence for a long moment, then slowly stood up. “No need. From now on, you don’t have to buy me anything.” I turned and ran toward the exit, with Vivian chasing right behind me. I knew she wanted to gloat about how she had stolen Dad’s attention once again. I hurried my pace, but suddenly, a strange, cracking sound echoed from above. The massive crystal chandelier in the grand foyer swayed violently, then snapped, plunging straight toward me. “Stella! Look out!” Mom screamed, her voice cracking with terror. Dad lunged forward, throwing his body over Vivian, who was standing several feet away from the danger zone. I closed my eyes in pure terror, bracing for the impact, but the pain never came. When I slowly opened them, I saw Mom hovering over me, a fragile, relieved smile on her face. “Thank God you’re safe,” she whispered. The next second, a thick line of crimson blood trickled down from her hairline, pooling on the floor. Terrified, I began to sob, screaming at the top of my lungs. “Help! Somebody help my mommy!” Dad’s face turned white as sheet. His hands trembled violently as he fumbled for his phone to call 911. At the hospital, doctors and nurses rushed in and out of the emergency room. I curled into a tight ball in the corner of the waiting room, trying to stay as quiet as possible so I wouldn’t distract them. Finally, a kind-faced nurse walked over and gently picked me up. “Your mommy is awake now, sweetie. I’ll take you to see her.” As we reached the door, I overheard the doctor speaking softly inside. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Pei. The blunt force trauma was too severe. We weren’t able to save the baby.” After a brief silence, Mom asked, “Does the man who brought me in know?” The doctor hesitated. “Mr. Pei? He left for the pediatric wing right after you were admitted to comfort a little girl with minor scrapes. He hasn’t returned yet.” Mom nodded slowly, her voice carrying a strange sense of relief. “Maybe it’s for the best. A child wouldn’t find any happiness in a family like ours.” Once the doctor left, I crept into the room and climbed onto the bed. Her face was paper-white, but she pulled me into a fierce, tight hug. “Mommy is so tired, Stella. I just want to rest. When I wake up, I’m taking you away from here, okay?” I didn’t ask where we were going, or if Dad was coming with us. I just buried my face in her neck and quietly fell asleep. When Dad finally showed up with takeout, his eyes were full of guilt. “Valerie’s ex-husband found out about the accident and threatened to sue for custody. She was hysterical, Summer. She couldn’t handle it alone.” Mom replied calmly, her face expressionless. “I understand. Go take care of her.” Dad looked down at me, his shoulders stiff. “Stella, please don’t hate me.” I shook my head slightly, staying silent. As soon as Dad left, Mom discharged herself from the hospital. We went back to the apartment to pack our bags. While we were sorting through our things, her phone buzzed with an anonymous email. The attachment was a clear photo of Dad and Valerie lying in bed together, naked. Mom quickly covered my eyes with her hand, letting out a sharp, frigid laugh. “So that’s what he meant by taking care of her.” Before we walked out, Mom stood in the center of the living room, taking one last look at the place. She slowly slid her wedding ring off her finger and placed it on top of a stack of freshly printed documents. Then, she took my hand and led me out the door, without looking back even once. When Dad finally realized Mom had checked out of the hospital and rushed home, the first thing he saw was the gold band on the counter. Beneath it lay the divorce papers and a medical report. As he read the words on the page, the color drained completely from his face.

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