I woke up with a start, memories of my past life flooding back. Three days after I had run away from my arranged marriage, my fiancé had committed suicide in our new home, leaving all his assets to me. When I went to sort through his belongings, I was shocked to find walls covered in photos of me and bloodstains on the floor. His assistant told me, “The boss had loved you for many years. His depression was severe – only seeing you or thinking of you brought him some relief…” Each revelation left me stunned, horrified, and inexplicably sad. So this time around, when my childhood friend Lucas suggested I escape the arranged marriage again, I smiled and refused. “I’m not running away,” I said. I wanted to see just how foolish this man who loved me so desperately could be. Ethan died three days after I ran away from our arranged marriage in my past life. My father and brother had just left after apologetically informing Ethan about my escape when they received news that he had slit his wrists in the mansion. He was pronounced dead at the scene. The will he had prepared in advance left all his assets to me. When I got the call from my brother in North America, I felt my expression slowly harden. To me, Ethan had been a stranger who suddenly appeared demanding marriage. We had never even met before. And yet, all the evidence suggested he had loved me deeply for many years.
I rushed back at the lawyer’s request, numbly accepting Ethan’s urn. His background was a mystery and he had no known relatives. His assistant gazed sorrowfully at the small box containing his ashes and said softly: “The boss had loved you for many years. His depression was severe – only seeing you or thinking of you brought him some relief. I thought once you two were married, he wouldn’t be so pessimistic anymore. But I never expected…” His voice trailed off. There was no accusation, but I felt an inexplicable ache in my heart. The assistant handed me a key. “This is the estate the boss prepared for you. It’s also where he personally decorated your new home.” The place where he had killed himself.
The estate was massive, with lush green lawns and even a racetrack. The decor was in my favorite shade of navy blue. The furniture, decorations – everything matched my tastes perfectly. One room was filled wall-to-wall with photos of me. I examined them closely and realized they spanned from my sophomore year of college up until now. It seemed I had been under this man’s lens almost every moment. On the floor were faint bloodstains from where he had slit his wrists, giving off a slight metallic scent. Each revelation left me stunned, horrified, and inexplicably sad. I couldn’t help feeling angry too. If he liked me, why didn’t he just say so? Bursting into my home and demanding marriage like some kind of bandit – how could I possibly feel at ease marrying him? Was this gruesome scene meant to make me feel guilty and unable to forget him for the rest of my life? Dream on. I ended up donating all the assets, including the mansion, to charity. The cleaning lady tore down the photos on the walls, carelessly tossing them on the floor to cover the bloodstains… And just like that, all traces of Ethan’s brief but remarkable life vanished from this world.
It took me three days to accept the reality that I had been reborn. Three days ago, Ethan had just arrived at my home, forcefully demanding an arranged marriage in a manner bordering on coercion. When Lucas heard about it, he immediately urged me to run away to North America for a few days to avoid the situation. That’s exactly what I had done in my past life. But this time, remembering those walls of photos and the horrific bloodstains on the floor, I calmly shook my head. “I don’t want to run away,” I said. “I’m going to find him and ask why he wants to marry me.”
Ethan’s company was very successful. When I went to see him, he was still in a meeting. His assistant personally came down to greet me and asked me to wait in his office for a moment. “The boss will be down very soon,” he assured me. I nodded softly in acknowledgement. True to his word, Ethan arrived quickly. Before I had even finished my tea, he strode in hurriedly, fastening his cufflinks as he walked. When he saw me, he stopped in his tracks and greeted me coolly: “Miss Gu.” His demeanor was cold and distant, as if looking at a stranger. Taken aback by his coldness, I fumbled for words before quietly asking: “Mr. Shen, my father said you want to marry me. Why is that?” “I want to, so I will. No reason needed,” he replied curtly. I was at a loss for how to respond. Slowly standing up and grabbing my purse, I said, “Well, I’ll be going then.” Ethan’s expression shifted slightly, a rare look of confusion crossing his face. “You’re leaving already?” I stared at him expressionlessly, watching as his face gradually paled and his whole demeanor became dejected. Still, he stepped aside to let me pass. If I wasn’t certain this man liked me, I would have thought he was just toying with me… I sighed and took the initiative to grab his sleeve. “How about we have dinner together?”
Ethan’s assistant seemed on edge watching us interact. As I was leaving, the assistant kept apologizing to me: “The boss isn’t good at talking to women. Please don’t be upset with him, Miss Gu.” “I’m not upset,” I said with a smile. “I actually quite like him… his looks are very much my type.” The office door was ajar. Through the small gap, I clearly saw Ethan touch his face, his expression dazed. I smiled slightly and told the assistant: “I made dinner plans with your boss tonight. Remind him not to stand me up.” The assistant nodded hurriedly, as if afraid I would change my mind any second. I walked out of the company building in my high heels. As soon as I stepped outside, I got a call from Lucas. Looking at the contact name “Lucas” on my phone, I calmly declined the call and stared blankly at the clouds in the sky.
Lucas had always been good to me and truly had my best interests at heart. But childhood friends, close friends – they all inevitably fade away on the long road of life. Just like in my past life. He found a lover, had children, and learned to keep his distance from me. So even when I was later trapped in the mountains with an expedition team and called him for help, his wife berated me, calling me an old maid who couldn’t get married. Lucas was right beside his wife when she insulted me, silent and unresponsive. I ended up dying there in the mountains. I wonder how he felt about that.
Ethan arrived early for dinner that evening. The atmosphere was quite cold and awkward. I struggled to make conversation, but he seemed like a conversation-killing machine, uninterested in engaging no matter what I said. Feeling exhausted, I set my fork and knife down heavily on the table. “Mr. Shen, your behavior is making me feel like you don’t actually want to start a family together.” Ethan’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he lowered his head and apologized. “I’m sorry.” “You know that’s not what I want to hear,” I said, truly exasperated. “You’ve run your company for so many years, rarely losing at the negotiating table. Your insight into human nature should be flawless. And yet now you’re like this… “It makes me think you’re not actually interested in me at all.” Ethan’s face paled. His fingertips dug tightly into his palms, drawing faint traces of blood. “Don’t overthink it,” he said. “I’m just… not used to being this close to you.” His sudden, almost confession-like words surprised me. His nervousness and melancholy, along with the blood on his palms, didn’t seem fake. I suddenly remembered what his assistant had said in my past life: “The boss’s depression was very severe. Only when he saw you did he feel a little better…” “Mr. Shen,” I asked, suddenly very curious, “Did we know each other before?”
Ethan’s thin lips trembled. His eyes instinctively avoided mine as he turned his head to look out the restaurant’s glass windows. “We did,” he admitted. “When?” I pressed. But Ethan clamped his mouth shut tightly, refusing to say any more no matter what. Feeling somewhat deflated, I started eating my steak, no longer trying to make conversation. Ethan didn’t speak either, seemingly unaware of how awkward the atmosphere had become. He just stared blankly at my lips and neck, his gaze following the red wine as I swallowed, slowly moving down to my throat before stopping, restrained by his manners. I glared at him. He hurriedly turned away, his face pale. He accidentally bit his lip, drawing a spot of bright red blood. I sighed in exasperation. “If you want to look at me, just look directly. Don’t be all secretive about it. “We’re going to be married soon, Mr. Shen. Can’t you do something more open and aboveboard?” He had taken so many photos of me, hired people to watch me, and even seemed to have bribed my family’s maid… If it weren’t for how tragically he had died in my past life, I would have reported him to the police for being a stalker by now. But his assistant had said Ethan was ill. I should be more patient with someone who’s unwell. I took his hand, ignoring how he instantly tensed up. I dampened a napkin with water and gently wiped away the blood on his palm. “Your hands are so beautiful. Please don’t hurt them anymore, okay?” Ethan didn’t answer, just staring at my face. After a long while, he asked in a low voice: “Does this mean you’re willing to marry me now?” “Did you give me any choice not to?” I retorted. His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Actually, if you don’t want to…” “What, run away? Or find you and yell in your face that I’ll never marry you?” I cut him off, staring into his eyes. “I could do that easily, but Ethan, what would happen to you if I did?” The result was obvious. He would die. In my past life, I never understood how someone could be so weak and helpless that they would end their life so casually, just from hearing news of an escaped bride, without even meeting face to face. And yet, for some reason, I couldn’t bear the thought of his death.
Ethan was undoubtedly a genius. He had a keen eye for business, but his background was a complete mystery. His rivals dug and dug but couldn’t uncover anything about his past. They could only watch helplessly as he seized opportunities in the internet boom and rocketed to success. With just a few casual remarks, he had the old-money families of River City gasping for air. And yet a man like this, at the prime of his life, killed himself over a woman. In my past life, Ethan became a laughingstock. He was crowned the “Number One Love Fool” and viciously mocked by his rivals’ deliberate smear campaigns. I didn’t want to see all that happen again. On the way home, my mind wandered aimlessly as I thought about many things. Finally, looking at Ethan’s expressionless face as he drove, I decided to have a chat with his assistant in a couple days. I truly didn’t know how to interact with this guy. And his illness… Was there really no way to help him?
The black Rolls-Royce stopped in front of my family’s villa. By coincidence, we ran into Lucas, who was walking up with a box of pastries. Ethan’s eyes narrowed. “Do you want to go say hello?” he asked. I turned to him and said, “Lucas is a good friend of mine. No need.” Ethan leaned over and unbuckled my seatbelt. “You should head inside then.” Though he said it wasn’t necessary, his heart clearly sank, a bitter taste rising in his throat like he had swallowed some bitter herb. I grabbed his wrist. “Lucas and I really are just friends. Don’t overthink it.” “I won’t,” he said. “You really won’t?” I turned my head and saw him gripping the steering wheel tightly, faint blue veins visible. I reached out and touched his fingertips. “If something’s bothering you, can you tell me? “Don’t keep it all bottled up inside. It makes things very difficult.” Pressured by me, Ethan’s Adam’s apple bobbed. He turned to look away and slowly admitted: “I don’t really like him.” “Then you don’t have to interact with him,” I said, encouragingly patting his head. “He’s just my friend. You don’t need to force yourself to like him.” “Besides, we’re going to be husband and wife soon. That’s a much closer relationship than I have with him. If you’re uncomfortable with my friendship with him… I can keep some distance from now on.” Ethan looked surprised. “You’d distance yourself from him for my sake?” “Why not?” I smiled at Ethan and said softly, “We’re going to be married after all!” Ethan froze, looking somewhat dazed. I pressed on while the iron was hot, leaning close to tell him: “See, talking things out is how problems get solved, right? “If you’re ever unsatisfied with me or want to tell me something, you have to let me know. “Don’t keep it all inside and make yourself miserable while I’m completely unaware. That would be such a waste!” I was starting to realize that Ethan didn’t know how to handle intimate relationships. He tried to use his business negotiation tactics in matters of the heart, coercing my family into an arranged marriage. But when I took the initiative to seek him out, he was at a loss for how to respond. He was incredibly naive when it came to romance. “It’s okay,” I thought to myself. “I can teach him slowly.”
Lucas watched me get out of Ethan’s car, his eyes narrowing with a hint of hostility. As the car drove away, Lucas walked up to me. “So you’ve decided to marry him?” he asked. “He’s handsome, rich, well-behaved in social circles, no scandals. Why shouldn’t I marry him?” I replied. “But…” he started to say something before trailing off. Looking a bit flustered and angry, he finally blurted out: “Are you sure you like him?” “In our social circles, how many marriages are actually based on liking someone?” I shrugged. “He’s a very suitable match.” Lucas’s eyes widened. “But he can’t possibly be better than the two of us…” “Lucas!” I cut him off coldly. “I’m getting married. Don’t say things that could be misunderstood.” With that, I walked towards the house without waiting for him. To be honest, even after being reborn, I still couldn’t figure out Lucas’s attitude towards me. When things were good between us, he was incredibly nice. He once scoured small towns across Northern Europe just to buy me a necklace I wanted. But when things were bad, they were pretty bad. To this day, he still can’t remember my birthday. In my past life, I had suggested we get married. He refused, saying he wanted to play the field for a few more years. Then while building a snowman in St. Petersburg, he fell in love at first sight with a sweet, innocent girl. They got married and had a child in less than three months. His wife was very wary of my existence, so I tactfully kept my distance and didn’t contact him. Little did I know that would be our final goodbye. Lucas must have felt at least a little sad when he heard news of my death. After all, when his dad and stepmom slapped him over his little brother, I was the one who sat with him on the roof terrace all night, counting stars. 13.
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