My first love was my stepbrother, and he wanted me to donate a kidney to his first love. Mo Ji questioned me for him: “Are you really just going to watch him die?” “I… my body isn’t…” It seemed that if your health was poor, you did not deserve to live either. He forced me to donate a kidney to Lin Qing… I was an accessory, an organ host… “Are you really this cold and heartless?” “This is a human life, and donating one kidney won’t kill you!” Mo Ji frowned as he took out the transplant consent form, his legs crossed as he leaned against the sofa, his tone forceful and allowing no doubt. His brows and eyes were cold, and his aura was untouchable. He was the man I loved deeply. The person who can make you smile can also push you into the abyss. “I… my body isn’t…” My voice trembled, and I had not yet figured out how to say the bad news. He knitted his brows and impatiently pointed at the signature line. “You only need to sign it, and don’t worry, medicine is very advanced now, so nothing will happen.” If it had not been for him, how could my body have become like shattered pieces… and now I had even fallen to the level of an organ host. I wanted to grab his collar and question him about how he could say something so cold. “If you don’t donate your kidney, don’t even think about seeing Zhou Yi again.” Endless water surged toward me, flooding over my nose until I could not breathe. He had changed, saying such ungrateful words so lightly. “Mo Ji, you are the most selfish and cold person.” Without Zhou Yi adopting us, we would have starved to death on a street corner long ago. “I’m only protecting the person I love.” His expression was faint, and his thin lips pressed together slightly. “Your love is so fake.” I signed the transplant consent form. He had probably forgotten long ago how good Zhou Yi had been to him. He had forgotten how he once smiled and swore that he would let Zhou Yi live a good life.
Looking at the name I had scribbled hastily at the end, I lowered my eyes and refused to look at him, hunching my shoulders because I did not want to expose my weakness. “Later, Assistant Liu will take you to the hospital for an examination and surgery preparation.” “Mr. Su, Mr. Cen’s flight is about to land.” I glanced over without meaning to, and his brows and eyes were full of joy, the corners of his mouth rising, while bitterness filled my heart. Lin Qing was Mo Ji’s first love, and because his body was frail, he had been recuperating abroad. As for me, I had grown up with Mo Ji since childhood, and I was his first love as well as the substitute who could never be seen in the light. We were adopted by Zhou Yi, and our finances were not good, so when we were young, people often bullied him, and after I stood up for him, I was dragged into an alley outside the school gate and beaten by a group of people. He was teased, and his books were scribbled all over. When money went missing in class and he was misunderstood, I was also the one who went to the principal to demand justice for him, making such a fuss that I almost got expelled. All the kindness I gave him still could not compare to the pen Cen Xi gave him when he forgot to bring one to an exam. “Don’t run around at home.” Perhaps because Mo Ji saw the cake on the table, or perhaps because he saw that I had signed the consent form, his tone was rarely gentle. I nodded seriously, watched him take the car keys and leave, then opened the cake and tasted the sickly sweet cream. He remembered my birthday, but he forgot the words he had once said. Those bright, smiling eyes were still in my mind, and he had covered my eyes as he led me into the room, holding a small cake as if it were a treasure. There was one candle stuck in it, the flame swaying, and he smiled shyly and bashfully, saying, “Linlin, may you be safe every year, and may we stay together year after year.” He had hugged me and prayed for my safety and happiness too. All I could hear was my heart pounding wildly. Bite after bite of sweet, greasy cream, I forced myself to swallow it, and a pile of mango was still left. I had prepared it specially, and at noon, I had made the food he liked, while the cake was brought back by Xiao Liu. He had probably casually ordered someone to buy it, and I was allergic to mango. Why did love disappear in an instant? It was not until the early hours of the morning that Aunt Zhang buried her hands in her apron and said with both hesitation and concern, “Niannian, it’s getting late, and staying up is bad for your health, so Mr. Mo probably won’t be coming back.” She brought me a cup of warm milk, and I responded with a smile. The maid beside her sneered coldly, “Aunt Zhang, Mr. Mo won’t be coming back tonight, and it’s a shame about this whole table of food.” This maid wanted to climb into his bed, and she did not know Mo Ji’s preferences, so she always found chances to pick fights and tried openly and secretly to squeeze me out of the villa. The destination of the dishes I had prepared with care was the trash can. Watching them clean up, even throwing the plates into the trash can, I was still hoping to hear the roar of a car engine. I hoped he would come back and give me his blessing, even if it was only a happy birthday. Watching the hands of the clock turn, I sat in front of the desk and looked at the chart I had once made. He did not spend my birthday with me, so ten points deducted. He bought me a mango cake, so twenty points added. After repeatedly deleting and changing the chart, I looked at the last two lines, and if the chart was filled or the score dropped to zero, I would stop liking Mo Ji. Before he liked Lin Qing, he was very good to me. Only later, he no longer touched me, and the gaze he cast on me seemed to be missing someone else too. I knew all of this, but I had no way to control my feelings… I could not bear to leave him, and even if I was only a replacement… it was still good enough to stay by his side. I always comforted myself through his actions, telling myself that he still remembered me in his heart. The chart was deleted and changed again and again, and the points were never fully deducted. Stroking the notebook in the quiet room, I curled up and missed the nineteen-year-old Mo Ji. He would have hugged me with heartache and refused to let me suffer.
“Mr. Lin, if you don’t feel well, you can explain it to Mr. Mo…” Assistant Liu hesitated and paused. I looked at his concerned appearance. Even an assistant knew how to care about me, but he did not care. Maybe I should have left long ago. “I’m fine.” I shook my head and followed the assistant out. If I called to tell him about my situation, he would only think I was putting on an act. I did not know when loving Mo Ji had become so exhausting. “Although you signed the donation consent form, your physical condition simply cannot support this surgery… I suggest you stay in the hospital for half a month of observation before the operation.” The doctor held the report, his brows knitted and his tone serious, and he also cared about the state of my body. “I confirm that I can undergo the surgery.” I signed my name on the informed consent form for the operation. The doctor sighed, “How about this, I’ll notify your family.” Family? I pulled up the corners of my mouth into a bitter smile, because after Zhou Yi left, what family did I have left? Holding the pen and writing my name on one confirmation form after another, my heart suddenly stopped hurting. Uncle Zhou, living is so tiring, and I can finally come to find you. The surgery was scheduled for three days later, and I thought he would come. In my free time, I played on my phone and saw news of his pursuit of love. He accompanied Lin Qing shopping and experiencing domestic-style restaurants, but it was all his one-sided wishful thinking. Paparazzi secretly photographed their movements, and Lin Qing was elegant like a noble, linking arms with his mother while shopping, the scene bright, grand, and harmonious. Mo Ji stood half a step behind him, following them like a shadow. As for Lin Qing, who looked similar to me, I did not hate or envy him. I touched my brows and eyes, and although our faces were clearly similar, he had a complete family and Mo Ji’s love, which was wonderful. Lying on the hospital bed and looking at the glaring red light, I planned out my final days. I would go see the great rivers and mountains of my motherland. As the anesthetic entered my body, my consciousness gradually blurred. I did not know how much time had passed, but my head was heavy, dizzy, and stinging. The kidney transplant surgery was successful, but I had a postoperative infection, and I only had two months left. Facing this broken body, perhaps death was the best destination. I told the doctor I wanted to be discharged, and I also had my medical records sealed. The wind was strong on the day I left the hospital, and the only contacts saved in my phone were Mo Ji and Assistant Liu. I put the phone back in the villa. Sitting on the plane and looking at the clouds so close at hand, I enjoyed life.
June 13th was Uncle Zhou’s death anniversary. I came back again, holding jasmine flowers to visit Uncle Zhou. Looking at the gray-white photograph, I remembered that I had slowly carved this stone slab myself. At that time, I had no money, so I could only find a full-service funeral company and bury him in a wild mountain. Only after Mo Ji achieved success and fame did I save up money to buy a public cemetery plot. “Uncle Zhou, I brought you jasmine flowers, and also jasmine tea, and I miss you so much…” I sat beside the gravestone and chatted with Uncle Zhou. During this time, I went to several places, and Uncle Zhou had wanted to see the sea, so I fulfilled that wish for him. I saw white sneakers gradually walking toward me, with black leather shoes following closely behind. I saw Lin Qing walking over with red eyes, while Mo Ji still guarded behind him like a knight, holding an umbrella. “Where did you go!” He rushed toward me. I remembered that our relationship was not that close, but I still smiled and greeted them. Rather than leaving in sorrow, it was better to leave with a smile. “I just went out to have some fun.” Lin Qing stood in front of me with restraint, hesitating as he reached his hand toward me, his movements careful. “Your phone never went through, and I sent you so many messages.” I was confused by his appearance. “You’re my younger brother!” Lin Qing announced it loudly, trembling as he reached out, wanting to hug me. I had once regarded Lin Qing as a love rival, and I had also learned before that the Zhang family had been spending a lot of money searching for their missing son all these years. No wonder our brows and eyes were so similar. I had never expected to solve the mystery of my birth before I died, and the news was like thunder. “I know.” I stepped back, thinking that children from wealthy families would all fight over family property. “Aunt Lin wants to see you.” “Little brother, let’s go home.” I poured the jasmine tea in front of the grave for Uncle Zhou to drink, and after calculating the time, I had less than a week, so it was time to prepare my grave. “I only have one week.” Lin Qing stood there in a daze, and the umbrella Mo Ji was holding fell down, hitting the ground with a somewhat piercing sound. “Little brother, stop joking, because our family finally reunited after so much difficulty.” Lin Qing pulled the corners of his mouth into a smile, his eyes bright. There was softness in his eyes, and he did not want me to die. If I had not gotten lost, he probably would have been a good older brother… and growing up in the Zhang family, I probably would have been raised in a honey jar. “I’m not joking, it’s the truth.” “Zhou Nian, stop playing little tricks.” Mo Ji’s face darkened, but his lips had turned pale, and out of consideration, I did not say the reason. Even if I said it, he would only think I was trying to win sympathy. I did not want to tell Lin Qing that Mo Ji and I had been each other’s first love. “As for the Zhang family, I won’t be going back.” I wiped the dust from the gravestone. Holding Uncle Zhou’s gravestone, I felt as if he was responding to me, even patting my shoulder, caring for me as always. “After I die, can you bury me beside Uncle Zhou?” “During the Tomb-Sweeping Festival, please bring both of us a bunch of jasmine flowers.” Lin Qing came forward and hugged me, and his tears fell onto my shoulder, burning hot. Mo Ji turned his face away and also wiped the corners of his eyes. “Little brother, let’s go home.” “I can fulfill that request too.” Lin Qing’s emotional moment was interrupted, and he glared at Mo Ji. “I don’t need you to do it, because I have family, and Uncle Zhou liked jasmine flowers the most, fresh and elegant, and they can also be brewed into tea.” Actually, it was because the old woman at the street corner planted jasmine flowers and gave us a big bag for free every year. He held my hand tightly, “I promise you everything, and Mom and Dad have been waiting for you at home for twenty-one years.” I pressed my lips together and did not know what to say, because if I went back and told them I only had one week left… they would be sad because of it too. I did not want anyone to worry about me anymore. “Our family has money, so we’ll leave for overseas treatment right away, and we can extend your life.” His tone was excited, there were stars in his eyes, and his embrace was warm. I could smell the faint scent of disinfectant on Lin Qing, but it was not unpleasant. Gently, I leaned my head on his shoulder, because it had been so long since I received a warm embrace. Mo Ji still stood one foot behind him. Looking at those familiar brows and eyes, my heart could not help being moved by him. He was like a knight in a fairy tale, unwaveringly protecting the princess. Unfortunately, I was not the one being protected. “Do you think this kind of joke is fun?” “You just want money, don’t you?” Mo Ji took out his card holder and sneered as he threw out a black card, his expression scornful and disdainful. “Adults always playing this kind of trick is meaningless, and you only want to gain our sympathy to achieve your goal of getting money.” I looked at him in shock, because in his heart, I was this kind of person. My eyes stung, and I could not hold back my tears, so I quickly wiped them away, but Lin Qing still noticed. “What money?” “He’s my younger brother, and he doesn’t need you to give him money, so what is your relationship with him?!” Lin Qing patted me comfortingly with one hand, then turned his head and angrily scolded Mo Ji for what he had just done. “There is no relationship, and I don’t know him.” I rushed to answer first and drew a clear line, because after Uncle Zhou left, I had no relatives anymore. Mo Ji’s pupils widened, shocked and angry, “What do you mean!” “What trick are you playing now!” Yes, after he became successful in his career, he had wanted to draw a clear line between us. I had also never asked him for money… but now that I denied our relationship, he was angry. “Brother, this person is inexplicable and so fierce, so I’m a little scared.” I resisted by shaking Lin Qing’s hand, revealing my vulnerability. “Don’t be scared, don’t be scared, I’ll drive him away right now.” After comforting me, Lin Qing hugged me tightly again and ordered him around arrogantly. “Didn’t you hear him?” “Don’t scare Niannian!” “Heh, you’re really something, no relationship, right?” “Then spit back out all the money you spent of mine before!” Hearing this sentence, my numb heart throbbed painfully, and I wanted to laugh at how sarcastic those words were.
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