I always thought I was the happiest kid in the world. When I had a high fever in the middle of the night, Dad would carry me in his arms, walking a whole hour to the hospital. When I said I wanted cake, they would spend their last fifty dollars just to make my wish come true. But everything changed after my baby brother was born. Mom started suspecting me, always thinking I would hurt him. She stopped showing me love. She even made me eat and sleep with the dog, claiming it was to “build my character.” Then came my brother’s first birthday. I accidentally touched his birthday cake. Mom was so furious that she slapped me hard across the face, grabbed me by my hair, and threw me into the dog crate. I cried and begged her: “Mom, please don’t lock Lily up! Lily is scared of the dark!” “I’ll never do it again, Mom! I’m sorry… I’ll be good, please don’t lock Lily up…” All I got in response was the loud, metallic slam of the dog crate door. Along with Mom’s screeching voice: “You did that on purpose! You just want to ruin your brother’s day, don’t you? Since you love this dog so much, you can stay in there and think about what you’ve done!” “So young and yet so vicious! I should have strangled you when you were born!” “Why don’t you just die!” So… Mom hated me that much. Okay, Mom. Lily will be good and die. Just please don’t be mad anymore.
“Mom! Don’t leave Lily here alone!” “Dad, please! Tell Mom I didn’t mean to, please…” But neither of them looked back at me. The dog crate was pitch black, with only a tiny air vent. Bella curled up quietly in the corner. She didn’t understand why I was so sad, but she crept over and licked the tears off my face. I cried and cried, praying they would soften their hearts and let me out. Back then, I didn’t know what claustrophobia was. I just knew I was terrified of dark, enclosed spaces. I kept banging on the metal door, panic completely overwhelming me. Mom seemed to grow tired of the noise. She marched over and kicked the crate hard, making the metal bars rattle violently. “It’s just for one night! What are you crying for? Shut up, you’re ruining the mood!” “Cry again and I’ll lock you in here for three days! And no dinner for you!” I didn’t dare make another sound. I was terrified of starving. Ever since my baby brother was born, I hadn’t had a full meal in a very long time. Mom said I needed to be skinny so “they” would like me and send gifts. I asked her who “they” were. Mom said they were the viewers on our TikTok live. Oh! So when Mom made me strip naked, crawl on the floor, and eat like a dog, she was doing it for a livestream. Mom also said the livestreams made money. Once we had enough, we could buy a big house for my brother and a princess dress for me. So, I thought livestreaming was a good thing. It was just very cold in the winter. Fortunately, Bella was there to keep me company. Her body was always so warm. My body trembled. I clenched my teeth, trying my best to fight the fear. I wrapped my arms tightly around Bella, seeking a little comfort. But my breathing was slowly getting harder. It felt like a giant hand was squeezing my throat, and my head grew dizzier. Don’t fall asleep! I told myself. I just had to hold on until dinner. When Mom brought me food, I would beg her again. Maybe she would soften her heart and let me out. I counted the seconds in my head. Finally, I felt like it was dinner time. The room outside the crate had gone completely dark, and not a single speck of light came through the vent. I stared at the door, full of hope. Suddenly, I heard Mom and Dad talking outside. “Honey, let’s have dinner at my mom’s place tonight. She said she misses Leo.” “Well… shouldn’t we feed Lily first? She’s still so young. A little punishment is enough.” Yay! I quickly scrambled to the front of the crate, waiting. But in the next second, Mom’s voice turned screeching and sharp: “You’re actually defending that little brat?! Can’t you see she tried to hurt your son?!” “Skipping one meal won’t kill her! If you don’t come with me, I’m taking Leo and moving back to my parents’ house for good!” Dad sighed in defeat. He walked over, knelt down in front of the dog crate, and said: “Lily, you’re a good girl. Just bear with it for today, okay?” “Dad will buy you pizza tomorrow. From your favorite place.” I swallowed hard, almost smelling the delicious scent of pizza. But Dad, Lily is already so hungry right now. I don’t think I can make it until tomorrow. Didn’t you say that as long as Lily stopped crying, I could have dinner? Why do grownups break their promises? I decided to be mad at them. Before I could say anything, Mom impatiently dragged Dad out of the house. I crawled back to the corner and hugged Bella again. My eyelids felt heavier and heavier, my stomach kept rumbling, and the suffocating feeling grew stronger. I felt like I had a very long dream. In my dream, my baby brother hadn’t been born yet, and Mom and Dad still treated me like their one and only treasure. When I opened my eyes again, I realized I was out of the dog crate! I wanted to pinch myself to see if I was still dreaming, but my little hand passed right through my arm. I froze. Suddenly hearing Bella’s anxious whimpers, I rushed to the air vent and looked inside. A tiny, frail body was curled up inside. Even though she was five years old, she looked no bigger than a toddler, her bones sticking out sharply under her skin. Wait, is that me? Am I having an out-of-body experience, just like in the movies? Suddenly, there was a noise at the door. Mom and Dad were back!
I happily ran over to them, wanting to hug Mom. But my little hands passed straight through her body. Oh, right. I forgot I was having an out-of-body experience. What a pity. It had been so long since I last hugged Mom. I pouted. Just then, I noticed Mom glancing over at the dog crate. I felt so happy! Mom still loved Lily! But she only looked for a second before carrying Leo into the bedroom, ordering Dad to follow her. I sighed. Whenever it came to my brother, Mom always got so tense. It seemed Mom was really, really angry this time. Before, the worst she would do was hit me, yell at me, or starve me, but she had never ignored me completely like this. I started to panic and followed them into the bedroom. I lay at Mom’s feet. “Mom, please don’t be mad at Lily anymore, okay?” “Lily was a good girl and died like you wanted! Can you forgive me now?” But they couldn’t hear a word I said. I paced around in circles, tears welling up in my eyes. If Mom couldn’t hear me, how was I supposed to apologize? Dad couldn’t seem to bear it anymore. He wrapped an arm around Mom’s shoulders and coaxed gently, “Lily’s been locked up all afternoon. Let her out, okay?” Mom’s face remained dark as she clutched Leo tightly in her arms. “That brat hasn’t made a single sound since we got back! She’s throwing a tantrum to spite me!” “If I don’t break her spirit this time, I’m not her mother! Let’s see if she ever dares to hurt Leo again.” No, Mom, you’ve got it wrong! Lily didn’t want to hurt Leo. I wanted to make a sound, and I wanted to hug you both, but I can’t speak anymore. My heart broke again at the thought. Dad’s lips trembled, but in the end, he said nothing. In the middle of the night, I saw Dad quietly get out of bed and walk over to the air vent. He was holding a donut, trying to push it through the small opening. “Lily, eat this donut first to fill your stomach. Dad will buy you your favorite pizza tomorrow.” “Mom is sick. You’re a big girl now, so let’s not be upset with her, okay?” Seeing that I wasn’t taking the donut, Dad assumed I was still angry. He waited for a moment, sighed, and walked back to bed. My eyes were glued to the donut, and I swallowed hard. Even though I couldn’t feel hunger anymore, the memory of that extreme, agonizing starvation before I died was deeply engraved in my mind. But my hands couldn’t touch the donut, and my mouth couldn’t eat it. I could only follow close behind Dad, hoping to catch a sniff of the scent to ease my hunger. The next morning, Mom got up to make breakfast in the kitchen. To get there, she had to pass the dog crate in the living room. I wondered when Mom would notice that Lily was dead. Once she knew, she could finally be happy. Hearing Mom’s footsteps, Bella let out a low whimper from inside the crate. Mom’s face instantly darkened. She ignored the crate completely and walked straight into the kitchen. Not long after, Dad woke up too. He walked into the living room, suddenly stopped, and asked Mom uncertainty, “Honey, do you smell something weird?” Oh no! Lily’s body was starting to rot and smell bad. Panicking, I scrambled on all fours to Dad’s feet, trying to stop him from going over. If Mom found out, she would hate me even more! Sweat poured down my ghostly face as I waved my arms frantically to block him. But it was useless. He strode right past me toward the crate. The closer he got, the stronger the smell became. It was the sickening, rotting stench of decaying flesh. If you looked closely, some yellowish fluids were oozing out from the cracks. Even Mom was drawn over by the smell! Dad frowned, sensing something was wrong. He reached out to open the crate door. But before his hand could touch the latch, Mom slapped it away.
“That little bitch actually peed and pooped inside! She’s out of her mind!” “Is she trying to provoke me?! Huh?!” Holding a spatula, Mom’s face was flushed red with rage, her chest heaving violently. “I lock her up for just one night, and she pulls a disgusting stunt like this! Imagine what she’ll do when she grows up!” Mom, Lily didn’t do that! I know you don’t like dirty kids. Lily would never do that. I felt so wronged. When I was first forced to live with Bella, I was covered in dirt. I could only copy Bella and try to lick myself clean, but I could never get the dirt off. Mom had grabbed me and thrown me out into the snow. “You’re filthy! Go wash yourself in the snow! If you can’t get clean, don’t bother coming back inside!” Then, she slammed the door shut with a loud bang. The snow was so, so cold. The moment I touched it, tears and snot poured down my face. But I didn’t dare waste time. Shivering violently, I rubbed the snow all over my body to scrub the dirt off, until my skin turned raw red and then deep purple. I didn’t want Mom to kick me out. I loved her so much. Even though… Mom didn’t seem to love me anymore. But that was okay. As long as I loved Mom, it was enough. Ever since that day, I always made sure to keep myself very clean! I anxiously tried to explain to Mom: “Mom, Lily didn’t make a mess! Lily is very clean.” “Please don’t hate Lily…” But my voice faded into nothingness, just like before. Now, Dad’s face darkened too. “Lily, you’ve really gone too far this time. Stop making your mother angry. Come out and apologize right now!” Dad, you both got it wrong. I really didn’t… And Lily has already apologized so many times. But you can’t hear me. I don’t know what to do. I felt so sad. Mom threw her spatula aside and stormed onto the balcony, grabbing my favorite stuffed rabbit. She took a pair of scissors and violently shredded it to pieces. “This is what you get for being disobedient! Disobedient!” “You hate us for making you crawl on all fours for the livestreams, don’t you?! You ungrateful brat! If we just work hard for a few years, we’ll have more money than we can ever spend!” Mom cried as she hacked away with the big scissors. Mom, please don’t! That’s Lily’s favorite toy. And… my only toy. Seeing Mom so sad made my heart break into tiny pieces, just like my stuffed rabbit. I wanted to wipe the tears from Mom’s face, but my hands just kept passing through her body, over and over again. If shredding my toy could make Mom feel better… Then okay. Lily can’t play with toys anymore anyway. Please don’t cry, Mom. Dad wrapped his arms around Mom, comforting her. “Lily is still young. She’s just throwing a tantrum. She’ll understand in a few days. Everything we do is for our children.” “The doctor said you shouldn’t get too emotional. Why don’t we take Leo out to get some fresh air?” At the mention of my brother’s name, Mom wiped her tears away and finally managed a smile. “Honey, let’s take Leo to the zoo. He loves animals.” The zoo! My eyes lit up. I had begged Mom to take me there so many times, but she had always said no. I pouted slightly. But then I realized—I could go with them now! I became happy again. The zoo was so, so big. Luckily, I was a ghost now, so no one could see me. Otherwise, crawling on all fours like I always did would have made everyone point and whisper. I hated that feeling. But Mom had always said that was how we got “views.” I didn’t understand what “views” meant, but I knew it made Mom happy. But now, it was fine! No one would laugh at Lily anymore. Following them around, I saw so many animals I had only seen on TV. Mom and Dad really loved my brother. Even though he could already walk, they kept carrying him in their arms. I couldn’t help but try to remember what it felt like to be held by Mom. But it had been so long. I couldn’t remember it at all. I let out a heavy, grown-up sigh. Sigh… Feeling a bit grumpy, I made a silly face at my brother. Leo looked back at me with his big, innocent eyes and babbled happily, “S-Sister…” Whoa! My brother could see me! I started dancing with joy, making funny faces to keep him entertained. But Mom instantly slapped her hand over Leo’s mouth. “Don’t call that ungrateful brat your sister! Come on, Mom is taking you to that new restaurant down the street.” Hearing Mom’s promise of food, Leo immediately forgot about me and happily toddled after her. I didn’t know how long we stayed out, but it was late when they finally returned. The moment we reached our apartment, a shocking scene was waiting for us at the door!
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