My Boss is My Online Boyfriend?!

During a meeting, my online boyfriend sent me a shirtless photo. In my excitement, I accidentally sent a message meant for him to my boss instead. “Honey, I’m really broke this month. My paycheck hasn’t come through yet.” My boss’s face darkened as he growled, “Get out. I’m not your ‘honey’.” My coworkers thought the boss hated me and started mocking me behind my back. Little did they know that after I had an abrupt breakup with my online boyfriend, my boss pulled me onto his desk, his whole body trembling. “Baby, I’m not your boss. I’m your husband.” “Please don’t hate me, baby. I love you so much. Don’t break up with me, I’m begging you.” Bored during the meeting, I decided to chat with my online boyfriend. “Work’s been so stressful lately. Thank goodness my husband is understanding and ran off with someone else. The kid’s well-behaved too, since it’s not mine.” My online boyfriend sent a “pat pat” sticker and replied: “My poor baby, you’re so busy and tired. I wish you could get paid without having to work at all.” “Can I buy your company?” “I want to be there with you at work.” My boyfriend was being so cute, I decided to tease him a bit: “Show me your abs, babe!” “I’m in a meeting, love. Can we do this later?” I was about to reply that I was just joking when he quickly changed his mind: “Wait for me, baby. I’ll take a photo now.” Was he really going to sneak out of his meeting? He might get his pay docked if he gets caught. I was frowning, about to warn him not to do anything rash, when my coworker nudged me: “Look at the boss! His face is all red! And for once it’s not because he’s angry.” Just as I looked up, I saw Marcus stand up with a spring in his step: “Excuse me for a few minutes.” As soon as the boss left, Lily leaned in to gossip: “I heard from the marketing team that the new brand ambassador our company signed last month might be the boss’s girlfriend. You know, that actress Emma. Do you think she’s the one who got our boss all flustered just now?” Lily sighed after finishing, “Emma’s pretty popular though. He probably can’t go public with her while her career is taking off. Looks like they’ll have to keep it under wraps for a few years. Poor boss.” I wasn’t particularly interested in the boss’s private life and was trying to figure out how to brush off the topic when my online boyfriend sent over a few shirtless photos. Great! Looks like my slim, toned boyfriend might be worth meeting in person after all! I couldn’t help but smile as I zoomed in on the photos. While admiring my boyfriend’s great physique, I absent-mindedly responded to Lily: “Different industries, different worlds. I hope it works out for him.” I couldn’t hold back a laugh when I saw my boyfriend’s amazing body. But before I could properly compliment him, Lily peeked over. “Watching a funny video?” Afraid she’d discover I was in an online relationship, I quickly switched to a video feed and said with a grin: “Yeah, smartphones are so much fun.”

When Marcus pushed open the door, he wore a grim expression. The meeting room instantly turned into Silent Hill. Everyone lowered their heads, not daring to meet his eyes. After sitting back down in his chair, he pulled up last month’s ad exposure stats on the projector. Even though the returns had multiplied several times over, he just sat there frowning without saying a word. I guess it’s understandable. All bosses are greedy. Who cares if he’s happy or not, I was feeling pretty excited myself. I happily teased my online boyfriend: “Honey, let me just say, I’m really broke this month. My paycheck hasn’t come through yet.” I couldn’t even imagine how flustered my online boyfriend would get. After sending the message, I didn’t realize I had sent it to the wrong person. I was still furiously typing in the input box: My hubby is so handsome and sexy, I want to slide down those abs. Just as I was about to hit send, Marcus’s angry, agitated voice suddenly rang out in the meeting room: “Get out! I’m not your ‘honey’.” I clicked my tongue in disdain and whispered to Lily: “What’s his problem now? Menopause? Is his temper getting worse with age?” Lily froze, speaking through gritted teeth: “I suggest you faint on the spot.” I was stunned, catching a glimpse of the chat window on the display screen out of the corner of my eye. I had a bad feeling about this. Turning my head to look, sure enough, the sky had fallen! All the colleagues in the room were staring at me with wide eyes. An office worker’s breakdown happens in an instant. I had forgotten to switch accounts. Sneakily sending messages on your phone under the table is just asking for trouble! I really couldn’t understand why the boss’s profile picture was exactly the same as my online boyfriend’s. When people are embarrassed, they tend to get busy. I pretended to organize the files on the table, but eventually stood up and apologized with a choked voice: “I’m sorry, honey. I sent that to the wrong person.” No! My stupid mouth, don’t say that! This is so embarrassing, maybe I should just run away. Before I could take a step, I caught sight of Marcus glaring at me coldly: “How unprofessional!”

After this social suicide, I became infamous in the company. The employee group chat gossiped about me all afternoon. “Have you all heard about Olivia from the strategy department?” “LOL, looks like even the boss has fangirls now!” “Isn’t the boss dating Emma? Is Olivia trying to be the other woman?” “Just because she’s pretty, she thinks she can take shortcuts. Now she’s crashed and burned!” “Could it be that she meant to send it to her boyfriend and accidentally sent it to the wrong person?” “No way it was sent to the wrong person. I’m in her department and I’ve never heard of her having a boyfriend. I’ve never seen a boyfriend send her flowers or pick her up after work or anything. Besides, even if it was meant for her boyfriend, how could she mistake the profile picture? She’s not blind! No matter how you look at it, it’s impossible!” “Haha, what a schemer! Pretty women always have tricks up their sleeves. She’s probably dreaming of becoming the boss’s wife.” After lurking for a while, I was about to sulk quietly when Lily passionately jumped in: “You lot sure know how to run your mouths! If you’re not acting like donkeys, you’re croaking like frogs. If your mouths are so idle, go lick a toilet bowl instead of spreading rumors here! Get lost!!” Immediately, a “righteous judge” in the group spoke up: “Your words are too crude. Our company culture is to be tolerant of others. Is it necessary to be so aggressive? If there are messages you don’t like to see, can’t you just ignore them?” Lily: “You get lost too!” “We’re all colleagues here. Is there any need to be so hostile in your speech? Can’t you be a little more polite?” Lily was very receptive to the advice: “OK, please get lost!” The gossip group quieted down for a while, then started spreading rumors that I had a crush on Marcus. It made me laugh angrily. I typed forcefully: “Yes, at my purest, I could have crushes on 80 people in a semester.” “Also, I have depression and I’m quite sensitive. Let me spread the rumors myself, I don’t trust you guys to do it.”

That night, unable to sleep from frustration, I told my best friend about what happened during the day. She laughed so hard she pounded on the bed: “Be careful not to slip up again. I’m really afraid he’ll fall in love with you. The boss will think, ‘She called me honey, I should take care of her.’ Then let’s see how you deal with it.” “He seems to have a girlfriend, and you don’t know how fierce he sounded when he told me to get out!” I kept replaying the boss’s “Get out” in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt he must hate me. After much deliberation, I decided to formally apologize to the boss. “Boss, I want to talk to you” “??? I have a girlfriend. I love her to death. If you want to talk, find someone else. Get lost, don’t bother me.” “No, boss, let me explain. I was in a hurry just now and left out a word.” The message was followed by a big red exclamation mark, indicating that the other person was no longer my friend. He had deleted me! Great, now I’ve offended the boss. After a sleepless night of overthinking, I was late the next day and got caught by the boss. It was all because I was lazy. Even though I was late, I still insisted on waiting for the elevator. As a result, the private elevator next to me opened, and I came face to face with the boss. And to make matters worse, I happened to catch Emma clinging to his arm and acting coy. The smile on Marcus’s face immediately disappeared as he glanced at his watch: “Nine minutes and fifty seconds.” Just my luck, not only was I nearly ten minutes late, but I also interrupted his romantic moment. Of course the boss would be angry. I quickly admitted my mistake, “I’m sorry, Mr. Meng. I won’t look next time. If there’s a next time, you can gouge out my eyeballs.” Marcus frowned, clearly unhappy. I honestly acknowledged my error: “I won’t be late again either. If I do it again, you can dock my attendance bonus.” “No need.” “Boss, you’re so kind…” “I mean there’s no need to wait for next time.” He finished and instructed his assistant nearby: “Tell accounting to deduct $300 from her bonus.” “But doesn’t the company allow one or two late arrivals a month? I’ve always been early before, never late.” “Mm, before we turned a blind eye, but today I saw your lateness with both eyes.” “…” Just because he caught me seeing him being lovey-dovey with his girlfriend? Is it really necessary to target me like this! But I really didn’t expect Marcus to be so petty! In the afternoon, when each department reported on their projects, he commented on everyone’s work. When it came to mine, he didn’t say a word, not even sparing me a glance as he moved on to listen to the next person’s report. His disregard for me was very obvious. Just before clocking out, my team leader threw the proposal I had submitted a few days ago back onto my desk. “Olivia, the boss rejected your proposal.” I sighed: “Did he say what was wrong with it? So I can revise it.” “He thought it was garbage, unusable. Work overtime and redo the whole proposal.” The team leader had so many people in that meeting, and he just called my work garbage in front of all of them? This is too much!! I pressed my lips together, feeling a wave of bitterness. Docking my pay is one thing! But to deny my abilities! Damn capitalist! At eleven o’clock that night, I was the only one in the department working overtime. After finishing the project proposal and shutting down my computer, I posted on social media complaining about the boss exploiting his employees. My brother commented: “Quit that job, go have some fun. Your big bro will earn money for you to spend.”

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