The Debt Book

After the wall collapsed at my sister’s college acceptance party, crushing fifteen people to death, my mother made a “Debt Book.” From then on, whenever anyone in town needed help, she pushed me to the front of the line. When old Mrs. Henderson fell into the river, my mother shoved me in, even though I didn’t know how to swim. “This is what we owe the Hendersons. Your sister’s health is too fragile. You go save her.” Choking on water until I coughed up blood, I finally managed to drag the old woman to the shore. But my mother just stood on the riverbank, gripping her Debt Book, writing: “Today, Mia saved Mrs. Henderson, paying back the Henderson family one life. Fourteen families remaining.” When Mr. Miller’s son needed a kidney transplant, she dragged me to get tested as a match. When Mr. Peterson’s daughter needed a spot at the prestigious magnet school, my mother gave her my admission slot. I cried. I threw tantrums. But my mother just wrote in her Debt Book: “Today, Mia threw a tantrum and triggered her sister’s depression. We owe the town another debt.” After that, I never dared to throw a tantrum again. I paid off debts, family by family. Until I came home for Thanksgiving break, and the Wilsons’ young grandson fell into a dried-up well. The opening was too narrow for the firefighters to fit through. My mother grabbed me the moment I walked back from the bus stop. 1 On the day of my sister’s college acceptance party, the old barn suddenly collapsed. Fifteen locals rushed in to save her, only to die in a secondary collapse. My mother made a Debt Book. She said my sister’s life was bought with fifteen others, and she couldn’t take any more emotional distress. But the debt our family owed had to be paid by someone. From then on, whenever anyone in town needed help, she pushed me to the front of the line. When old Mrs. Henderson fell into the river, my mother shoved me in, even though I didn’t know how to swim. “This is what we owe the Hendersons. Your sister’s health is too fragile. You go save her.” Choking on water until I coughed up blood, I finally managed to drag the old woman to the shore. But my mother just stood on the riverbank, gripping her Debt Book, writing: “Today, Mia saved Mrs. Henderson, paying back the Henderson family one life. Fourteen families remaining.” When Mr. Miller’s son needed a kidney transplant, she dragged me to get tested as a match. When Mr. Peterson’s daughter needed a spot at the prestigious magnet school, my mother gave her my admission slot. I cried. I threw tantrums. But my mother just wrote in her Debt Book: “Today, Mia threw a tantrum and triggered her sister’s depression. We owe the town another debt.” After that, I never dared to throw a tantrum again. I paid off debts, family by family. Until I came home for Thanksgiving break, and the Wilsons’ young grandson fell into a dried-up well. The opening was too narrow for the firefighters to fit through. My mother grabbed me the moment I walked back from the bus stop. “Let my Mia go down. She owes the Wilsons.” The firefighter stared at me, frowning. “Is this kid healthy? Does she have claustrophobia or anything like that?” “She’s perfectly healthy! Not a single thing wrong with her!” But Mom, I just donated a kidney. And I have severe claustrophobia. Mom, do I have to die before the debt is finally paid off? … By the time my mother shoved me to the edge of the well, my legs had already turned to jelly. The opening looked like a pitch-black, gaping mouth, wind whistling up from the darkness. Just one glance, and my ears filled with the sound of collapsing bricks and screaming from my sister’s party. The firefighter looked at my deathly pale face and asked again: “Sweetheart, how old are you really? Are you afraid of the dark?” My mother pinched my arm hard, smiling naturally. “She’s sixteen. She’s just shaking because she’s so excited to save someone.” Mr. Peterson, the man who took my magnet school admission, quickly chimed in. “Mia has loved helping people since she was little! She’s sharp, she can definitely do it!” The surrounding crowd urged anxiously. “Hurry up! Little Toby is down there!” “He’s the Wilsons’ only grandchild!” The firefighter ignored them, crouching down in front of me. “Mia, look at me. If you’re scared, tell me. Rescue work can’t be forced.” My lips trembled for a long time before I managed to squeeze out: “Sir, I’m only in seventh grade…” Before I could finish, my mother clamped her hands onto my shoulders and shoved me toward the opening. The darkness rushed up to swallow me, and I screamed. The firefighter immediately yanked me back, shielding me behind him. “She’s your daughter, not a piece of rescue equipment!” My mother didn’t look at him. She slowly pulled out her Debt Book. Before she even opened it, the scratching sound of a pen on paper echoed in my ears. Only one thought remained in my head: I owe another debt. For every extra point of debt I owed, my mother took something away from me. Last year, it was my winter coat. The year before, it was the school field trip. She said my sister bore the psychological weight of fifteen lives, so me skipping a field trip or being a little cold was nothing to complain about. The scariest part wasn’t the punishment. It was that every time she made an entry, the entire town would remind me: Mia, you haven’t paid off your debt yet. Even the kids at school gave me a nickname. They called me “The Debt Girl.” “I’ll go!” I pulled away from the firefighter and frantically started strapping on the safety harness. “I’m not scared! I’ll go down right now!” The firefighter grabbed my hands. “We’re already looking for someone the right size, you don’t have to—” My mother opened the book and read calmly: “Today, Mia pretended to be a coward, stalling a rescue and disappointing the entire town. Add one point of debt.” The area instantly went quiet. The way the surrounding adults looked at me… it was like I wasn’t a thirteen-year-old kid, but the person who pushed Toby down the well. Crying, I begged the firefighter: “Sir, please let me go down. Just this once.” As long as I saved Toby, the debt would be reduced by one point. Then maybe I could go to the city high school with my sister. Maybe I could even go to an amusement park just once. The rope lowered slowly. The narrow walls of the well pressed in on both sides. With every inch I descended, my breathing grew shorter. Someone above shouted: “The rope is shaking too much! Pull her back up first!” My mother instantly screamed in protest. “She said she’s not scared! This is what she owes the Wilsons, don’t delay the rescue!” I suddenly remembered when my sister was fifteen. Some local thugs used the town’s ‘debt’ to trick her into crawling into a wild dog den behind the hills. My mother abandoned her market stall and ran all the way there, not stopping even when her legs were slashed by thorns. My sister cried, “Mom, I owe them.” But my mother hugged her tight, repeating over and over: “You don’t owe them. You don’t owe anyone anything.” That day, she carried my sister on her back for five miles through the hills. Now, she knew perfectly well that I was terrified, yet she blamed the firefighter for caring too much. The monitoring equipment started beeping rapidly. The firefighter roared into the well: “She’s lacking oxygen! Pull her up immediately!” But my mother said: “Mia is tough to kill. She’ll be fine.” I closed my eyes. So that’s what “tough to kill” meant. It meant nobody cared even when you were hurting. Just as my consciousness started to fade, a crying voice echoed from the bottom of the well. “Mia? Is that you?” 2 The flashlight beam swept across, and I saw five-year-old Toby huddled at the bottom. His forehead was scraped and bleeding, but he was fiercely protecting half a mooncake against his chest. Seeing me, he sniffled and held the mooncake up. “Mia, it’s red bean paste. It’s for you.” I stared blankly at that half a mooncake. My sister ate red bean paste every year. My dad said since she went through such a traumatic shock, it was okay for her to be a picky eater. I only ever got the cheap, mixed-nut ones, because my mother said as long as I wasn’t starving, I had no right to complain. “You keep it, Toby. I’m going to take you up.” The moment I reached for him, the rope jerked violently. I slammed hard against the wall of the well, the pain leaving me breathless for several seconds. My mother’s voice floated down from above. “Send Toby up first. Mia can wait for the next trip.” The firefighter objected immediately. “She can’t hold on much longer! Both kids need to be extracted together!” “It’s too narrow down there. She can barely turn around, how is she supposed to secure the harness to him by herself?” My mother’s tone was absolute. “She’s tough. She didn’t die when she fell in the river or when she got electrocuted. What’s one more minute going to do?” The locals chimed in. “Save Toby first, he’s so little.” “Mia’s a good kid, she can handle it.” I gritted my teeth, inching my body all the way to the bottom. I unclipped my own safety harness and started strapping it onto Toby. I couldn’t get the buckle to align. My mother was losing patience. “Mia, are you stalling on purpose?! How long does it take to buckle a rope?!” “Mom, I’m not…” The more panicked I got, the worse my hands shook. After several tries, the safety carabiner finally locked. I checked it thoroughly to make sure it wouldn’t slip, then yelled up: “It’s secure!” “Give Toby the flashlight too, he’s afraid of the dark.” I instinctively hugged the light tighter. “Mom, I’m scared too. Can’t you just wait and pull us both up together?” “How old are you, fighting over something like this? Stop playing the victim. Toby won’t be comfortable dangling in the air, give it to him!” The firefighter, suppressing his anger, said: “It only takes one minute to pull him up. We have floodlights up here. Leave the flashlight with Mia.” My mother didn’t answer. But the sound of pages turning in the Debt Book reached my ears. “I’ll give it to him! Mom, I’m giving it to him, please don’t write anything!” I frantically strapped the flashlight onto Toby. The rope tightened, pulling my only source of light higher and higher. Toby kept looking down at me, crying: “I want Mia to come up too!” Soon, the bottom of the well was pitch black. I pressed myself against the dirt wall, curling into a ball, repeating to myself over and over: Just one minute. Just one minute. I started thinking about the little nightlight in my school dorm that stayed on all night, and the comic books my desk-mate lent me. As long as I got out of this, I promised myself I would study so hard. When I grew up and made money, I would convert all these debts into cash and pay everyone back, so my mother wouldn’t be put in a difficult position ever again. I even decided I wouldn’t tell my dad I got hurt when I got home, so my sister wouldn’t hear and have a panic attack. I was always thinking of them like this. “Mom, can I come up now?” No answer. I asked softly again: “Mom, can you save a piece of red bean mooncake for me today?” Toby’s crying finally reached the top, and the safety rope began to lower back down. Just as I let out a sigh of relief, my mother suddenly spoke. “Mia, Toby dropped his toy car at the bottom of the well.” “That was the car he picked during his one-year-old selection ceremony. Find it first, then come up.” I crawled in the mud, my hands sinking into the freezing, wet sludge. Once. Nothing. Twice. Still nothing. My chest felt tighter and tighter. I barely had the strength left to hold myself up. “Mom, I can’t find it…” “It’s a tiny space, how can you not find it?” her tone was flat. “Look carefully. Don’t come up until you find it.” Staring up at the moon, which now looked the size of a coin, I finally understood. To my mother, Toby’s toy mattered more than bringing me home. 3 The firefighter completely lost it. “What kind of toy is more important than a child’s life?! Pull her up now!” My mother raised her voice too. “That belongs to the Wilsons! She owes them two lives! What’s wrong with asking her to find a missing item for them?” “She’s thirteen years old! She doesn’t owe anyone anything!” The argument echoed down into the well layer by layer. I covered my ears, shrinking into the darkness, whispering: “Don’t fight, I’m looking, I’ll find it…” But no one heard me. I had no choice but to keep searching. The freezing muddy water covered my wrists, mixed with rocks and dead branches. A sharp pain suddenly pierced my palm. I flinched back, losing my balance, and my forehead smashed against the wall of the well. My vision flashed white. “Mom…” I tried my hardest to look up. “I’m hurt, I’m so scared…” It was quiet above for a second. I thought she would finally let me come back. But the next second, my mother said harshly: “Mia, if you fake this one more time, I’ll leave you down there for the whole holiday!” “I’m not faking!” I desperately tried to stand up, trying to get closer to the opening, but my legs had no strength left, and I kept slipping back down. Finally, the safety rope dropped down. I lunged for it like a drowning person grabbing a lifeline. But the moment my fingertips brushed the carabiner, the rope violently jerked upward, disappearing out of the well. Immediately after, the firefighter roared in furious disbelief. “You cut the rope?!” “That’s your own daughter down there! Is she really worth less than a toy car?!” My mother replied coldly: “If I don’t force her this once, she’ll never learn to take responsibility.” Looking up, I completely froze. The rope didn’t snap. My mother personally cut it to stop me from coming up. In the past, every time something bad happened, I always told myself my mother was just anxious, she was just worried about my sister. But just now, she clearly heard the firefighter say I couldn’t hold on. She clearly saw the monitor alarms going off. She knew everything. She just still chose to cut the rope. This time, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. Toby suddenly sniffled and said: “The toy car didn’t fall down… it’s at my house…” The entire area instantly fell dead silent. The firefighter asked slowly, pronouncing every word: “So the thing you made her look for was never even in the well?” My mother was silent for a few seconds, then grew even angrier. “Mia! Why didn’t you just say you couldn’t find it?! You were stalling on purpose just to humiliate me in front of the whole town!” I opened my mouth, but I could no longer make a sound. The firefighter yelled frantically: “Mia! If you can hear me, answer me!” I really wanted to answer. But it felt like a boulder was crushing my chest, and my vision was growing darker and darker. Hearing no response, my mother’s tone grew increasingly disappointed. “You were screaming just fine a minute ago, and now you’re giving me the silent treatment? When did you learn to use playing sick to threaten people?” The firefighter roared: “She’s not playing sick! The monitor shows she’s unresponsive!” “Mia! Is the panic button I put in your pocket still there? Press it! Just press it once!” I struggled to reach my pocket. The device slipped out and fell into the mud. I couldn’t grip it no matter how hard I tried. Above me, I heard my mother trying to kick everyone out. “Today is about our family disciplining our child. Please leave town immediately. Whatever happens has absolutely nothing to do with you.” “Whoever helps me kick them out, I’ll record a debt point in favor of the whole town.” The locals started closing in on them. The firefighter was blocked, but he was still screaming my name at the top of his lungs. Listening to him yell my name, tears suddenly poured down my face. So even a total stranger who had only met me once knew I would be terrified. But my mother didn’t. As my hand fell limply into the mud, it happened to land right on the panic button. The piercing sound of the alarm finally blared from the bottom of the well.

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