A Love Lost, A Life Reborn

“Professor Qin, I’ve made my decision. I’ll join your pharmaceutical research institute and continue studying medicine.” Professor Qin chuckled, “Your wife loves you so much. Will she agree to let you go abroad for academic research?” “This is my own decision. It has nothing to do with her.” “Alright then. When can you arrive?” “In a week.” “Good, I’ll be waiting for you to report in.” “By the way, Professor Qin, that amnesia drug you developed before – does it still need a test subject?” Professor Qin’s voice turned serious, “What do you mean?” “Please mail a dose to me. I’ll test it.” When this call was made, it was 9:30 in the morning. Lucas leaned against the headboard. The space beside him was already empty. From the guest room next door came faint sounds of intimacy. “…Miss me?” “I only get to see you once a month. The time always passes so slowly.” “Heh,” the woman giggled coyly, “Shall we do something wild today then?” “Keep your voice down. Don’t wake Lucas.” “It’s fine, he slept late last night. He won’t wake up now.” “Mmm, you’re so naughty…” Lucas was very familiar with this man’s voice. His name was Henry, the college student Lucas had been financially supporting for four years. On the first of every month, he would come to the house. Lucas would give him that month’s living expenses and check on his studies and living situation. Each time, he would stay in the guest room next to the master bedroom. Lucas had even helped arrange a graduate advisor and internship for him. He just never expected this male student’s ambition was not to become independent, but to directly steal his wife. Since that’s how it is, he might as well give her to him. Lucas changed his name to Ethan. And had already reapplied for new identification documents. Ethan – to hide away. Once unfaithful, never to be used again. He would disappear from her world forever, then drink the amnesia drug and forget her completely. The intimate sounds from the guest room finally ceased. Lucas lay on his side, pretending to still be asleep. After a few minutes, the mattress beside him dipped slightly. Then a slender, pale arm draped over his waist. Lucas fought back the pain in his heart and pushed that arm away. Sophia acted like she had just woken up, mumbling, “Honey, you’re awake?” Lucas felt nauseated hearing her call him “honey”. “Mm, get up soon. You’ll be late for work.” Sophia rolled over and hugged him tightly from behind, planting a kiss on his chin. “I’m so tired. Stay in bed with me a little longer.” Lucas just wanted to laugh coldly. After being “wild” with Henry all night, of course she’d be tired. He said sarcastically, “What, didn’t sleep well last night?” Sophia nodded vigorously, “I dreamt an evil dragon stole my husband away. I fought through thorns and brambles to find you, searching all night. Even after waking up I still feel exhausted.” “No dragon would steal me away.” But I will leave on my own. And I definitely won’t let you have a chance to find me. Sophia glanced at the clock. “It really is getting late. We should get up.” She quickly showered and got dressed, then knelt by the bed and kissed him. “Lazy bones, don’t sleep anymore. Get up and wash up. I’ll go make breakfast.” After Sophia left, Lucas brushed his teeth vigorously. Her kissing Henry’s mouth then coming to kiss him only made him feel disgusted. When he went downstairs, two people were already seated in the dining room. Sophia sat in the main seat, with Henry to her left. He wore a white tracksuit, looking pure and refreshing. Seeing Lucas come down, he sweetly said, “Morning, Lucas!” Lucas grunted in response. Henry chuckled, “Breakfast is ready. Come eat!” Lucas sat down at the table. Sophia blew on some porridge to cool it, then placed it in front of him. “Careful, it’s hot.” Henry watched enviously from the side. “I’m so jealous. You take such good care of Lucas.” Lucas forced a smile. “She takes good care of you too.” Didn’t she just take very good care of him last night? All the way until this morning. Sophia laughed lightly, “It’s different. I take care of you because you’re my husband, the man I love most in this life.” “Then what about Henry? Why do you care for him?” “Because he’s the one you’re supporting. You said he’s like a little brother to you, so he’s my little brother too.” “Is that so.” Lucas took the bowl of porridge from Sophia’s hands. “No need to blow on it. I’ll let it cool on its own if it’s too hot.” Sophia sensed something was off in his attitude. She took his hand in hers, bringing it to her lips for a kiss. “What’s wrong? You seem unhappy this early in the morning. Is the breakfast not to your liking? Tell me what you want to eat and I’ll make it again for you.” Lucas pulled his hand away. “Sophia, do you love me?” “Of course,” Sophia said. “Everyone knows I love you.” “Then do you think a woman can love two men at the same time?” Sophia’s brow furrowed slightly. “True love is only for one person. It doesn’t allow for any impurities.” Lucas told her very seriously, “If one day you have a change of heart, please tell me directly. I will step aside and wish you well. But please don’t deceive me. My feelings are precious and also don’t allow for any impurities.” Sophia smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ll only ever love you in this life. No man can replace you.” “What if someone did replace me?” “That’s impossible.” Lucas said, “If I find out you’ve deceived me, I will leave you and forget you forever.”

Sophia smiled and said, “That day will never come. I won’t give you a chance to leave me either.” With that, Sophia moved to embrace him again. But Lucas was now extremely averse to her closeness. Because her body still carried faint traces of a sickly sweet scent. The kind of scent left behind after a man and woman spend the night together. Lucas stood up. “I’m going to get a spoon.” Sophia immediately got up too. “I’ll get it for you.” “No need, I can do it myself.” Lucas went to the kitchen and turned on the faucet. He used the sound of running water to mask his sigh. It wasn’t that he was inadequate. It was that her past self had been too wonderful. So wonderful that just thinking of those days when she loved him passionately made his heart ache. Growing up in an orphanage from a young age, enduring bullying and cold stares, he had been forced to harden his heart. He originally had no plans to date or marry, preferring to let clients drink him under the table rather than ask others for help. But then Sophia appeared. She rescued him from those people, declaring “This man is mine now.” At first Lucas thought she would just humiliate him like those capitalists. But Sophia did nothing of the sort, only gently telling him: “Go home and get some good sleep. Forget all the unpleasant things from today. Tomorrow is a new day.” After that, she began frequently appearing in his life. Sometimes coming to his company on business, or “coincidentally” running into him at a coffee shop. Sweet and adorable, but anyone could see she had feelings for him. However, their marriage was still opposed by Sophia’s parents. Lucas didn’t want to affect her relationship with her family, so he told her they should break up. But Sophia just firmly held his hand and said, “No breaking up. I’ll take you with me.” Later she started her own business from scratch, even enduring her parents’ suppression and coercion. She bore it all, drinking herself half to death in the process. Until later, when they were in a car accident together. At the critical moment, Sophia pushed him out of harm’s way. She and the car were hit by a large truck and sent flying off the road. The car rolled violently before catching fire. Sophia was burned half to death, falling into a coma. Only when Lucas spoke to her by the bedside would she show any reaction. It was at this time that Sophia’s parents finally understood how much their daughter loved Lucas. They finally relented and agreed to their marriage. Lucas cherished this hard-won marriage dearly. He cherished this woman who loved him to the bone even more. He just never imagined that after only three years of marriage, her heart would stray and her eyes would turn to another man. “Honey, is everything okay? Why were you gone so long?” “It’s nothing.” Lucas wiped the tears from his face, turned off the faucet, and prepared to go out with the spoon. But his hand trembled and the spoon fell to the floor. As he crouched down to pick it up, he accidentally saw the secret hidden under the dining table – Henry was wearing the new sneakers Lucas had bought him. His toe was gently caressing Sophia’s calf, then gradually moving upwards – knee, thigh, and further in… A delicate white hand smacked him lightly. “Behaving naughty again?” “What are you afraid of? Lucas hasn’t come back yet.” “Be good, don’t make trouble in front of Lucas. Later we’ll go out…” Lucas deliberately made a loud noise, and the two quickly settled down. He returned to his seat. The two of them acted as if nothing had happened. Sophia picked up some food for him. “Honey, eat more vegetables. It’s good for your health.” Henry still looked like an innocent little brother, gazing at him enviously. “I hope I can find a wife as virtuous and gentle as sister someday.” Lucas said coldly, “You will.” Henry didn’t catch his hidden meaning, still complimenting them. “That’s impossible. Sister is the best woman in the world. I don’t have that kind of luck.” Lucas said, “You do.” Just then, Lucas’ phone rang. “Hello, Mr. Xu, you have a package.” This time, Sophia was even quicker than him. She rushed to open the door before him and received a document envelope. She looked at the sender. “Southern Airlines International Business Department…Honey, did you buy plane tickets? Where are you going? How come I don’t know about this?”

Lucas said, “I just redeemed a gift with my points.” Sophia patted her chest in relief. “You scared me. I thought you were going to leave me.” Lucas took the envelope from her hands. “You haven’t betrayed me, so why would I leave you?” Sophia smiled. “That’s right, I only have you in my heart.” In the past, hearing these words would have moved Lucas deeply. But now, he felt nothing. “Honey, what gift did you redeem? Let me see.” Lucas refused. “It’s nothing, just a small commemorative coin.” “Southern Airlines has commemorative coins?” “Mm.” Lucas went back to his bedroom and opened the envelope. Inside lay a plane ticket to London departing in a week. He had bought it under the name “Ethan”. His phone also showed the shipping information for an international package – The amnesia drug Professor Qin sent him would arrive in about a week as well. Seven days later would be the time for him to leave her completely. From downstairs came Sophia’s voice: “Honey, are you not feeling well?” “I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m a bit tired and want to rest some more.” “Okay, you get some good rest then. Henry has class this afternoon. I’m going to the company and will drop him off at school on the way.” Lucas responded with a simple “Okay.” Lucas didn’t sleep. He went to the second floor window and looked outside. Sophia was holding Henry’s arm like a happy little rabbit. Henry opened the passenger door for her. As Sophia got in the car, Henry stole a quick kiss on her cheek. She directly hooked her arms around his neck and kissed him back. From cheek, gradually sliding to lips. Then lower… Lucas didn’t see the scene after that. The two got in the car. He could only see the car constantly shaking and rocking. When the car finally drove away, Lucas let out a sigh of relief. He began packing his clothes. Professor Qin told him that after drinking the amnesia drug, he would forget everything from before. After packing his clothes, he wrote notes categorizing them, as well as his various daily necessities and habits. Finally, he went to a jewelry processing store. He took off his wedding ring and handed it to the clerk. The clerk accepted it nervously. “Sir, do you want to exchange this ring for another style? But this looks like a wedding ring, it’s part of a pair. Does your wife need to exchange hers too?” “No,” Lucas said. “Melt it down.” “What?” “I said, melt it down.” “Alright…” Half an hour later, Lucas left holding a small red velvet box. When he returned home, he ran into a frantic Sophia rushing out. There was a crowd of people inside the house. Police, bodyguards, and the household staff. Sophia’s eyes were red. The moment she saw him, she tightly embraced him. “Honey, where did you go? You scared me to death…” She hugged him so tightly Lucas could barely breathe. Finally the police smiled and said, “Ms. Zhu can finally relax now. Mr. Xu is back.” The maid also said, “Mr. Xu, when the madam came back and didn’t see you, and saw that you had packed all your clothes, she thought you had left. She was so frightened she lost her soul.” “Yes, Mr. Xu. Just now Ms. Zhu was telling us to contact the best private detectives. She said if we couldn’t find you we’d all be fired.” Sophia held Lucas like a precious treasure. “Honey, where did you go? Are you hurt? Were you hungry or cold?” Lucas calmly put some distance between them. “I just went out for a walk.” “But your phone was turned off.” Lucas took out his black-screened phone to show her. “It just ran out of battery.” “Then what about the packed clothes in the room?” Lucas said, “Those clothes are all old styles. I was planning to donate them.” Sophia finally let out a deep breath. “As long as you’re not leaving. Honey, promise me you’ll never leave me, okay? I would really go crazy.”

The commotion finally ended. As the police were leaving, they smiled and said to him, “In all my years handling missing persons cases, I’ve never seen such a devoted woman as Ms. Zhu. Cherish her well, and don’t make her worry in the future.” Sophia stood protectively in front of him, a bit unhappy at others criticizing him. “Lucas just went out for a walk. My worrying is my own business, it’s not his fault.” The police could only smile wryly. “Alright, alright. As long as Mr. Xu is fine, that’s what matters. You two focus on living your lives well together.” Lucas apologized to the police and saw them out. Sophia stayed glued to his back the whole time, not leaving his side for a moment. She noticed the jewelry box in his hand and her eyes lit up. “Honey, did you go buy new jewelry?” Lucas said, “This is a gift for you.” “A gift for me?” “Yes, your birthday is in a week. It’s your birthday present.” “Thank you honey! Can I open it and take a look?” Lucas said, “Wait until your birthday to open it.” A week later would be Sophia’s 26th birthday. And his flight was departing at 5am that morning. By the time she woke up and opened this jewelry box to see the platinum melted into a small lump and the lonely diamond inside, he should have already taken the amnesia drug and flown out of the country. They started with this ring, so they would end with this ring too. Over the next few days, Sophia seemed afraid he would disappear again. She canceled all her work and stayed home with him every day. She cooked for him, watched TV shows with him, or they would go for walks in the park together. Lucas had the illusion that they had really returned to when they first got together. So in love, so loyal, with eyes and hearts only for each other. But the constant stream of messages on his phone shattered all the beautiful illusions. [Henry: Lucas, I saw you that day.] [Henry: I know you saw me and sister having sex in the car. But what you don’t know is that we’ve been together since four years ago when you first started supporting me.] [Henry: I’ve been her man since I was 18. I don’t want to always just call her sister.] [Henry: Lucas, you gave me money for school, let me see a broader world, experience greater things, and also meet the best woman in the world.] [Henry: She can’t bear to leave me. You’ll see.] After that was a video. The video was long, one hour and forty minutes. Seeing the length, Lucas already guessed what this video was. While Sophia went to buy him water, Lucas played the video. In the cramped car, Sophia’s face was contorted with desire. She was pinned against the car seat backrest by Henry, in pain yet ecstasy. Henry traced circles on her chest with his fingers, asking suggestively, “Doing this, aren’t we wronging Lucas?” Sophia just giggled. “A woman’s sex and love can be separate. I truly love him, but I also truly can’t live without your body.” “So I’ll just be nameless and without status forever?” “I can give you anything except status.” “What if I want you to have my child?” Sophia thought for a moment, then said, “Then don’t wear a condom today. It’ll feel better.” Lucas couldn’t watch anymore. He closed the video. When Sophia returned, she was holding a bottle of water. “Honey, here you go. I had the owner heat it up specially. Your stomach isn’t good, you can’t drink cold water.” Lucas took the water. It was indeed quite warm, almost hot to the touch. Sophia cupped his face with her warm little hands, frowning slightly. “Why is your face so cold? And you look a bit pale. Honey, are you not feeling well?” Lucas turned his face away, avoiding her hands. “It’s nothing. I just saw a video that made me feel a bit sick.” “In the future if you come across videos that make you uncomfortable, just swipe past them. Don’t watch.” “Mm, I won’t watch anymore. I’ll never watch again.”

That evening, Sophia took him to the seaside. The crowd around them was bustling. Sophia circled her arms around him as they walked forward, afraid others would bump into him. Suddenly, a dazzling firework exploded in the sky. Then a second, and a third. Countless fireworks lit up the entire night sky. “Wow, is some rich person proposing? It’s so beautiful!” “So many fireworks, did they buy up all the fireworks in H City?” “How romantic! If someone was willing to set off so many fireworks for me, I would love them for a lifetime!” Hearing this, Lucas smiled wryly. Young girls were indeed easy to deceive. A firework display was enough to make their hearts flutter and casually promise a lifetime. But he wasn’t so easily fooled. Sophia said a woman’s sex and love could be separate. But for him, they couldn’t. Although Sophia said she loved him, betrayal was betrayal. He could never forgive it. “Honey, look—” Sophia pointed at a firework that had just exploded in the night sky. It was an English letter. S. Then O, P, H, I, A. SOPHIA. Then a big pink heart. After that was L, U, C, A, S. LUCAS. Sophia whispered in his ear, “Honey, I love you forever. Let’s be together forever, grow old together, okay?” Before Lucas could speak, Sophia had already knelt down on one knee in front of him. She shouted loudly for everyone to hear: “Sophia loves Lucas, for life, for all lifetimes, never changing—” Applause immediately erupted around them. Mixed with exclamations and praise from girls. One girl even boldly asked, “Handsome, did your girlfriend just propose to you?” Sophia smiled and denied it. “We’ve been married for four years.” “Then is it your husband’s birthday today? Or your anniversary?” “Neither.” “Then why such a big production? What’s the occasion?” Sophia looked at Lucas, her gaze burning. “I just want my husband to know how much I love him. He hasn’t been very happy lately, so I wanted to cheer him up.” Another round of praise erupted from the crowd. Lucas received envious looks from everyone. But only he knew – His wife had been unfaithful for four years. She had held another man’s hand, kissed another man’s lips. Over these four years, they had tumbled in bed together countless times. A little girl gave him her glow stick. “Big brother, this gift is for you. I hope you and big sister will be together forever.” Lucas asked Sophia, “Did you arrange for the little girl too?” Sophia said, “No, the little girl must have been moved by our love and thought our relationship was beautiful.” Lucas returned the glow stick to the little girl. “Thank you, but big brother can’t accept your gift.” The little girl didn’t understand. She tilted her head and asked, “Why?” Because big brother and big sister’s love isn’t beautiful at all. It’s full of lies, betrayal and concealment. This kind of relationship shouldn’t be admired by innocent children. It’s not worthy. Sophia comforted the little girl. “Thank you. Go find your mom and dad now.” The little girl said, “Big sister, you must have a little sister with big brother, okay? Big sister is so pretty, the little sister would definitely be pretty too.” Sophia chuckled. “Okay, big sister will try her best.” Back by his side, Sophia said half-jokingly, “Honey, let’s have a daughter?” Lucas asked her, “Do you want children that badly?” “I actually prefer just the two of us, but don’t all you men hope to pass on the family line?” “Is that Hen—” Lucas almost said Henry’s name. He really wanted to confront Sophia face to face about what exactly her relationship with Henry was, if she would continue having a physical relationship with him in the future, if the three of them would always coexist. But out of the corner of his eye, he saw the kiss mark on Sophia’s neck. It was left by Henry several days ago. So many days had passed, yet it still hadn’t faded. He averted his gaze, not wanting to look or ask anymore. At this point, he didn’t want to argue like a madman with his unfaithful wife on the street. He had his pride. Since she couldn’t change, he would be the one to change. Drink the amnesia drug, go to a city where no one knew him, and start a completely new life. Sophia asked him, “Honey, what were you just saying? You said ‘Is that…’” Lucas shook his head. “I was saying, many men think that way, but I don’t.” “You don’t want to have a child with me?” “Mm.” “Are you afraid that after the child is born, it will take away my love for you? Don’t worry, even if we have a child, you’ll still be the person I love most.” “Let’s go back.” “Are you angry? I’m sorry honey, I said the wrong thing. If you don’t want children then we won’t have any. We can be DINKs and keep living just the two of us. That’s good too.” Lucas’ footsteps faltered. That day she and Henry had been going at it for an hour and forty minutes in the car. Maybe she was already pregnant by now. But unfortunately, it wasn’t his. “Honey, what’s really wrong…” Ring ring— The phone rang. Sophia glanced at it and answered with some irritation. “Didn’t I say not to call me these few days, I’m with my husband…” The other person said something, and Sophia’s eyes flickered. “Fine, I’ll come over now.” She hung up and said to Lucas, “Honey, there’s an urgent matter at the company I need to deal with. Can I call you a car to take you home?” Lucas said, “I’ll call a car myself. The company matter is important, you go quickly.” “My husband is so good. Then I’m going. Send me a message when you get home so I know you’re safe.” Sophia hurriedly drove off. Lucas did indeed call a car. But he didn’t go home. He told the driver, “Follow that car up ahead.” Sophia’s car stopped in front of the hospital. Henry immediately embraced her. He took off his own jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

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