The year my parents divorced, they hugged me from both sides, comforting me: “Don’t be scared, Chloe. Mom and Dad still love you just as much.” “Other kids only have one home, but you get two.” So, in my past life, I chose my wealthy mother. But after she remarried and had my little half-sister, she gradually forgot to pick me up from school, forgot my birthday, and forgot that I had asthma. The last time she forgot, I died in the music room of my tutoring center. It took three days for the cleaning staff to find my body. When the police asked my mother where she kept my emergency inhaler, she froze for a long time. “She has asthma?” When I opened my eyes and got a second chance at life, I chose my poor but loving dad. He drove a truck for a living and was always on the road, but he never missed a single parent-teacher conference. No matter how late he got off work, he would pick me up in his beat-up old pickup truck every day. In the winter, he would pre-heat the passenger seat and have his heavy coat waiting for me. I thought, this time, I wouldn’t be forgotten. On my first day of high school, Dad told me to take the city bus. He said my new stepsister wasn’t used to the ride yet. Then a day passed, then two, then a whole month. I stood at the school gates, watching his truck drive past me with my stepsister in the passenger seat, over and over again. That day, I stopped waiting. I got on the city bus by myself, watching the warm lights of the houses flicker on through the window. Mom had her new family. Dad had his new family. I had chosen twice, and neither of them had a place for me. Chapter 1 The bus was already miles away before I finally looked away from the rearview mirror. Dad’s old pickup truck had turned down another street. Lily was sitting in the passenger seat, wrapped in his heavy winter coat, holding a steaming cup of hot chocolate in her hands. I looked down at my own freezing, red hands. This morning, Dad had promised he would pick me up after school. He had said it so seriously. “I’ll definitely be there. Whoever doesn’t show up is a stray dog.” But the crowds at the school gates emptied out, and he never appeared. I waited for forty minutes before getting on the bus by myself. By the time I got home, it was almost eight o’clock. On the dining table, there was only half a bowl of cold mac and cheese, with a few soggy vegetables floating on top. My stepmother, Patty, was blow-drying Lily’s hair. Seeing me walk in, she barely glanced up. “Food’s in the kitchen.” “Heat it up yourself, and don’t make a racket. Lily transferred schools today, and some kids asked her why she didn’t have a dad. She cried the whole way home.” Dad was crouching nearby, wiping the mud off Lily’s shoes. Hearing Patty’s words, he paused. “Next time anyone asks, you tell them I’m your dad.” Lily’s eyes turned red, and she threw her arms around his neck. “But you’re Chloe’s dad.” Dad immediately looked at me. His eyes held an apology, but also a plea. He was asking me to yield. Again. I didn’t say a word and walked straight into the kitchen. The mac and cheese had clumped together into a cold, unappetizing block. I had barely taken two bites when Dad walked in. “Chloe, I really didn’t mean to leave you waiting today.” “Lily was crying so hard at the school gates she could barely breathe. I was scared she was going to have a panic attack.” He pulled a pair of knit mittens from his pocket. They were red, with two fluffy white pom-poms sewn onto the wrists. “You’re always saying your hands are cold, right? I grabbed these from a gas station on my route.” I reached my hand out. Before I could even touch them, Lily appeared in the kitchen doorway. “So pretty.” She stared at the mittens, her nose turning pink. “My dad used to buy me things like that.” Dad’s hand froze. Lily didn’t try to snatch them. She just looked down and whispered: “It’s okay. Chloe has a dad. I don’t.” Dad’s face changed instantly. He looked back at me, his voice tight. “Chloe…” I pulled my hand back. “Give them to her.” He let out a visible sigh of relief and quickly handed the mittens to Lily. “Here. From now on, Dad will buy you all the pretty things.” Lily smiled through her tears and put them on right in front of me. They fit perfectly. Dad patted her head, then finally remembered I was there. “I’ll buy you better ones next time.” “Okay.” I looked down and kept eating my cold pasta. Dad asked again: “What do you want for dinner tomorrow? I’ll cook your favorite.” I picked up the last soggy vegetable with my fork. “Whatever.” It didn’t matter. The promises he made didn’t count anymore anyway. That night, I emptied out my piggy bank. There was exactly $632 inside. I counted it twice, then wrote the numbers down in my notebook. Bus ticket to the city: $45. Accommodation: unknown. Living expenses: the more the better. I closed the notebook. Starting today, I had to save up for my own home. Chapter 2 The next morning, my asthma inhaler was missing. I tore my backpack apart twice and finally found the crushed plastic casing at the bottom of the kitchen trash can. Lily was sitting at the dining table drinking milk, wearing those red mittens on her hands. I picked up the broken inhaler and looked at her. “Did you throw this away?” She chewed on her straw, looking the picture of innocence. “What medicine? I’ve never seen it.” Patty immediately rushed over to shield her. “Are we interrogating prisoners first thing in the morning now?” “Lily had nightmares last night and barely slept. When would she have the time to touch your things?” I pointed to the fluffy white pom-poms on the red mittens. One of them was dusted with a fine, white medicinal powder. Lily’s face paled. Dad saw it too. The kitchen fell dead silent. “Lily.” His voice dropped. “Did you touch your sister’s medicine?” Lily’s lower lip quivered, and the tears immediately started rolling. “I didn’t know it was for saving her life.” “I just saw her hiding it every day, so I thought it was some kind of special candy.” “Ever since my biological dad died, everyone says I’m a burden. Now my sister hates me too…” She sobbed, her entire body shaking. The anger in Dad’s eyes instantly vanished. He crouched down and hugged her tightly. “No one thinks you’re a burden.” “As long as I’m here, no one is going to bully you.” I gripped the crushed inhaler in my hand. “What about my medicine?” Dad looked up, his tone softening significantly. “I’ll buy you a new one later.” “Lily didn’t do it on purpose. She just joined this family, and she’s sensitive right now. Don’t scare her.” “She knew exactly whose medicine it was.” “Chloe.” Dad cut me off. His face was etched with deep exhaustion. “Her biological dad died because he pushed me out of the way of a speeding car.” “I owe her dad my life.” “Can’t you just do this as a favor to me?” I looked at him. “So, she’s allowed to use my life to pay off your debt?” Dad froze. Lily’s crying abruptly stopped. A few seconds later, Dad furrowed his brows. “Don’t say such morbid things.” “The medicine broke, we’ll buy a new one. It’s not as dramatic as you’re making it sound.” My chest suddenly felt painfully tight. I didn’t try to explain it again. I just grabbed my backpack and walked out the door. During lunch, my homeroom teacher, Mrs. Miller, called me into her office. On her desk was a registration form for a math competition. “It’s the State Math Olympiad. First place comes with an $8,000 scholarship prize.” “It also guarantees early admission to the STEM program at Oakwood Academy in the city, with full tuition and boarding covered.” I stared at the words “boarding covered.” “Do my parents have to go with me?” “No.” “If I win, can I go straight to the city to enroll?” Mrs. Miller looked a little surprised. “Technically yes, but it’s far from home. Will your dad be okay with that?” I picked up a pen and signed my name on the form. “He’ll be fine with it.” After school, I didn’t wait at the school gates. I went straight to the pharmacy. A new emergency inhaler cost me $120 out of pocket. When it was time to pay, I stood at the register counting my cash for a long time. The cashier asked, “Do you still want it?” I nodded. I needed to stay alive. I couldn’t die before I managed to leave this place. On the walk home, that familiar old pickup truck drove past me. Lily was laughing loudly in the passenger seat. Dad drove about fifty feet before he finally noticed me in the rearview mirror. He stopped and shouted out the window: “Chloe, hop in! We can squeeze you in the back.” The backseat of the truck was cramped and filled with tools. Lily didn’t make a single move to adjust her seat or offer me space. I held up my bus pass. “No thanks.” Dad hesitated for two seconds. “Be careful on the way home, then.” The truck quickly disappeared down the street. I watched them leave and silently did the math in my head. I was still short over seven thousand dollars. As long as I won that prize money, I could finally leave. Chapter 3 Dad didn’t show up on the day of the Math Olympiad. He called and said his truck broke down on the interstate, and there was no way he could make it back in time. But when I walked out of the testing center, I saw his truck parked across the street. Lily was holding a brand-new stuffed animal. Dad was holding a small bakery box, bending down to coax her. “Don’t be mad, sweetie. Dad really didn’t mean to forget your one-month anniversary of starting your new school.” Lily huffed. “Then you have to spend the whole rest of the day with me.” “Okay, the whole day is yours.” Dad answered without a second thought. When he turned his head, he saw me. The smile on his face instantly froze. “Chloe?” He instinctively tried to hide the bakery box behind his back. “I thought your test didn’t end until the afternoon?” “I turned my paper in early.” “How did you do?” “Fine.” Dad let out a breath and took two steps toward me. Lily immediately shouted: “Dad, my feet hurt.” His footsteps halted, and he stepped back. “Take the bus home for now.” “I’ll cook a huge dinner tonight to celebrate you finishing the test.” I glanced at the writing on the cake box he was holding. Happy One Month at School, Lily. I guess even something that trivial was worth a celebration. “Okay.” I turned around and walked away. The results were announced three days later. First place in the state. An $8,000 scholarship. Oakwood Academy sent me my official acceptance letter on the spot. Mrs. Miller’s eyes were red with excitement. “Chloe, your dad is going to go crazy when he hears this!” I shoved the prize money envelope deep into the bottom of my backpack. “I haven’t told him yet.” “This is huge news, you need to tell him right away.” I called Dad’s cell phone. It rang for a long time, but no one answered. Half an hour later, he sent me a voice memo. The background audio was just Lily crying hysterically. “Chloe, Lily got into a fight with a kid at school, Dad is really busy right now.” “Whatever it is, we’ll talk tonight.” I didn’t text back. After school, I bypassed my neighborhood entirely and went straight to the Greyhound bus station. “One ticket to the city, tomorrow afternoon at 4:00 PM.” The ticket agent handed me the slip of paper. “Traveling alone?” “Yes.” “Do your folks know?” I took the ticket and offered a small smile. “They’ll know soon enough.” That evening, Dad came home with Lily. Lily was clutching a brand-new iPad, her eyes red and puffy from crying. When Dad saw me, it was as if he finally remembered the phone call from earlier. “What was it you wanted to tell me?” I kept the Oakwood acceptance letter hidden behind my back. “Tomorrow morning is the school’s award assembly.” Dad immediately slapped his forehead. “Right! Dad remembered that.” “Is your mom going?” “No.” He let out a visible sigh of relief. “Then Dad will be there.” “I’m not taking any hauls tomorrow. Even if the sky falls, I’ll be there.” Lily suddenly spoke up. “Tomorrow is Parent’s Day for my class, too.” Dad was stunned. “Didn’t you say you didn’t want parents to come to that?” She looked down, swiping mindlessly on her new iPad. “Whatever.” “My sister’s thing is obviously more important.” Dad fell silent. I looked at his face, and suddenly asked: “Dad, whose event are you actually going to?” “Yours, of course.” He answered quickly. But he couldn’t bring himself to look at Lily. I nodded. “Okay.” This was his last chance. If he showed up, I would hand him the Oakwood acceptance letter. If he didn’t— I touched the Greyhound ticket in my pocket. At 4:00 PM tomorrow. I wouldn’t have to choose anyone ever again. Chapter 4 The awards assembly began promptly at 9:00 AM. The seat right in the middle of the front row remained empty. At 9:20 AM, Dad sent a text. [Lily got into a physical altercation at school. I’m sorting it out, I’ll be there as soon as I can.] At 9:40 AM, the principal called my name. “First place in the State Math Olympiad, Chloe Davis.” I walked up to the podium. The applause from the auditorium was deafening. Mrs. Miller handed me the trophy, lowering her voice to ask: “Where’s your dad?” I looked down at that empty chair. “He’s not coming.” At 10:00 AM, the second text popped up on my screen. [The other kid’s parents refuse to let it go. Chloe, you’re the mature one, please don’t hold this against your sister.] I turned off my phone. After signing the final boarding school enrollment confirmation for Oakwood Academy, I didn’t return to my classroom. I walked straight home. The front door was unlocked. A spread of takeout food was laid out on the dining table. Lily was sitting on the sofa, a fresh band-aid on her wrist, unboxing a brand-new iPhone. Dad was hovering next to her, inserting the SIM card. “Next time, you can’t just hit people, okay?” “She started it! She said I didn’t have a real dad.” “Alright, alright.” Dad patted her head gently. “Next time someone says that, you tell the teacher. Don’t worry, Dad will always have your back.” I stood silently in the doorway. Dad looked up, and the tiny SIM card slipped from his fingers and clattered onto the floor. “Chloe?” He glanced frantically at the clock on the wall, the color draining from his face. “The assembly…” “It’s over.” “Dad was going to be there.” He hurriedly stood up. “But Lily got into a fight, and the other parents insisted we pay for a broken phone. I couldn’t just walk away.” Lily wiggled her wrist in the air. “Sister, I got hurt too.” There wasn’t a single drop of blood seeping through the band-aid. Dad followed my gaze, his voice dropping defensively. “A minor injury is still an injury.” “Her biological dad died for me. I promised I would protect her.” I placed the heavy, glass first-place trophy on the table. “What about the promises you made to me?” Dad froze. He had promised to pick me up after school. He had promised to buy me new winter gloves. He had promised he wouldn’t forget my important events anymore. And he had promised that, even if the sky fell, he would be at my assembly today. He didn’t keep a single one. “Chloe, don’t be like this.” His eyes grew red and damp. “Dad knows this isn’t fair to you. Just wait until Lily fully adjusts, and Dad will make it all up to you, I swear.” “Wait how long?” “What?” “How long do I have to wait for her to adjust?” I stared directly into his eyes. “A day? A month? The rest of my life?” He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Patty walked out of the kitchen, looking thoroughly annoyed. “Do you seriously have to cause a scene today of all days?” “Your dad is already stressed out enough. Can’t you just act your age and be a little understanding?” I smiled. “Sure.” “I won’t cause a scene ever again.” I walked back into my bedroom and slung my already-packed backpack over my shoulders. The acceptance letter, the prize money, my asthma inhaler. Aside from that, I took absolutely nothing else. When I walked back out, Dad was in the kitchen cutting a cake. Lily was whining, demanding the largest slice with the most frosting. Neither of them noticed me leave. At exactly 4:00 PM, the Greyhound bus pulled out of the station. My phone began vibrating relentlessly. Dad had called seventeen times in a row. His final text message read: [Chloe, Dad saved you a slice of cake. Where did you go?] I didn’t reply. I popped the SIM card out of my phone and snapped it in half. Outside the window, the city I grew up in slowly faded into the distance. This time, he didn’t lose me. I abandoned him.
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