Memories of a Dying Love

Three years after our divorce, my ex-wife was in a car accident and lost her memory, reverting to when she was eighteen and loved me the most. She coldly rejected the other woman she once adored, ignored the humiliation and hurt she had caused me, and stubbornly insisted on moving into my house despite my indifference. She clung to me, acting sweet and expressing her love. I played along, watching coldly as she fell deeper. Until later, when she regained her memory and tearfully begged me on her knees to remarry her. Little did she know, thanks to her, I was dying. I would die in the year when she was most vulnerable and helpless after being betrayed by the other woman… And when she loved me the most. When I arrived at the hospital, I heard Lily arguing with someone. She was sitting on the hospital bed, her head still wrapped in bandages, but she didn’t look like a patient at all. “I don’t know you, please don’t touch me!” Lily said. Jake, Lily’s secretary, was holding a bowl of porridge, looking helpless. “Lily, it’s me. I’m your boyfriend.” Lily’s beautiful eyes scrutinized Jake suspiciously. She tilted her head and said, “Boyfriend? You’re lying. My boyfriend is Adrian.” At the mention of my name, a flash of darkness crossed Jake’s eyes, but he still said good-naturedly, “Lily, be good. You haven’t eaten all day. Let me feed you some porridge.” Jake scooped up a spoonful of porridge and tried to feed Lily, but she swatted his hand away without even looking, spilling the hot porridge all over Jake. “Get out! Don’t touch me.” Jake wearily pressed his temples and called someone to clean up. It was in this chaotic scene that I appeared. I pushed through the crowd and called out, “Lily.” Lily, who had been burying her face in her knees, suddenly looked up at the sound of my voice, her eyes lighting up with joy. “Adrian!” She was about to jump off the bed and into my arms. I quickly stopped her, saying, “Don’t move. You’ve just been in a car accident. You shouldn’t make any sudden movements.” Lily pouted, reluctantly settling back onto the bed. “Okay. They say I’ve lost my memory. Is that true? But I clearly remember you, my parents, and even the homework Mr. Zhang assigned yesterday. How could I have lost my memory?” Mr. Zhang was our math teacher. Lily’s behavior clearly showed that her memory had reverted to our high school days. Before I could speak, Jake cut in, “Lily, it’s 2024 now. You’re thirty years old.” Lily glared at Jake fiercely and said angrily, “I don’t believe you. Adrian, this weird guy keeps lying to me. Get me out of here quickly.” Jake’s face visibly darkened. After all, being called weird by the person you love isn’t a pleasant experience. Looking at Lily’s clear and innocent eyes, I sighed and said, “Lily, Jake isn’t lying. It really is 2024 now.” Lily’s eyes widened suddenly. I turned to Jake, gesturing for him to bring over Lily’s scans. As I held the scans up to the light, Lily playfully whistled at me and said, “I never imagined our Adrian would really become a doctor. You must look especially handsome in a white coat.” This little flirt’s behavior was exactly the same as in high school. However, I could no longer perform surgeries now. I put down the scans and said, “Now do you believe that you’ve lost your memory?” Lily nodded glumly and said, “You wouldn’t lie to me. If you say so, then it must be true.” Jake’s face became even more unpleasant. He stepped forward and said softly, “Lily, you see, I wasn’t lying to you.” Lily didn’t even look at Jake. She hugged my arm and said, “Adrian, is this guy really my boyfriend? Did we break up later? How is that possible? I like you the most. Did you leave me?” A barrage of questions hit me, and I looked at Lily clinging to me obediently, not knowing where to start. How could I tell her that we got married and then divorced? How could I tell her that in the first year of our marriage, she fell in love with someone else? How could I tell her that we once vowed never to see each other again? I held Lily’s hand and said heavily, “We didn’t break up.” Lily’s eyes lit up, with a hint of “I knew it” pride. I gently removed Lily’s arms from around me and said flatly, “We got divorced.”

When I saw the momentary shatter in Lily’s eyes, I felt a twinge of guilt. Tears slowly welled up in Lily’s eyes, and she asked me with a choked voice, “Why? Didn’t we swear in front of the snow-capped mountains that we’d be together forever? It’s only been a few years, and you’ve already broken your promise?” Lily and I chose to travel for our wedding, from the heart of the country all the way to the west. We sang in the desert, drank by the sea, and at the moment when the sun shone on the golden mountain, we vowed to be together forever. But just six months later, another man appeared by Lily’s side. At that time, Jake had just graduated from university. Due to his inexperience, he had made a big mistake for the company. Lily was originally going to fire Jake, but I felt sorry for him and pleaded on his behalf. Only then did Lily agree to give Jake another chance. Little did I know that this small act of kindness would plant a huge hidden danger for myself. It took Jake only two months to become Lily’s secretary. And in another three months, he had climbed into Lily’s bed. Lily bit her lip hard, not letting the tears fall from her eyes. This stubborn look was no different from how she was over a decade ago. I crouched down, leveling my eyes with Lily’s, and said, “Lily, I didn’t break my promise. It was you. You fell in love with someone else and chose to divorce me.” Lily was so shocked that she forgot to cry, staring at me blankly. I slowly stood up and said, “From the scans, you don’t have any major issues. You just need to rest for a while and you’ll be fine. I have some business to attend to, so I’ll be leaving now.” With that, I turned to leave. Lily called my name with a trembling voice. I stopped in my tracks but didn’t turn around. After a moment, I opened the door and left. I came to the hospital today not only to see Lily but also for another matter. I pressed the elevator button and made my way to my friend Dr. Lucas’s office. Dr. Lucas handed me a large bag of medicine and said, “Adrian, are you sure you don’t want to keep fighting?” I shook my head with a bitter smile and said, “No, chemotherapy is too painful. You know I can’t bear it. Besides, even with chemo, it might not work, right? It’s already late-stage anyway.” Knowing that my mind was made up, Dr. Lucas didn’t try to persuade me further. He leaned back in his chair and asked, “I heard Lily was in a car accident and has lost her memory now?” I nodded, and Dr. Lucas let out a contemptuous laugh, saying, “God is blind. Why didn’t He take her away instead!” “Lucas!” I reprimanded him. Dr. Lucas widened his eyes in disbelief and asked, “Don’t tell me, Adrian, that you still have feelings for that woman? Don’t forget who made it impossible for you to ever hold a scalpel again.” Dr. Lucas’s words made me close my eyes in pain. That day was the tenth anniversary of our relationship. I had prepared gifts and a candlelit dinner at home, but Lily never came back. I reheated the food on the table over and over again. Finally, I received a call from Lily’s phone. But it wasn’t her voice on the other end. Jake anxiously told me that Lily was in trouble. I rushed to the location Jake sent me. As soon as I pushed open the door, I saw a man about to smash a broken bottle at Lily. Without thinking, I used my hand to shield Lily from the blow. As a result, my hand was covered in blood from the shattered glass. After the surgery, the doctor told me that several of my tendons had been severed. It wouldn’t affect my daily life, but I would never be able to perform delicate procedures like surgery again. When Lily found out, she cried uncontrollably. She lay by my hospital bed, saying she was sorry. At that time, I thought, exchanging my dream for my loved one’s life was still worth it. So I stroked her head and told her that to me, she was more precious than my dream. Until later, when Jake suddenly approached me and said, “Mr. Chen, actually, Lily loves me. She’s been tired of you for a long time but didn’t have the heart to tell you because of all these years together. There’s five hundred thousand in this card. Lily hopes you can part ways amicably.” Of course, I didn’t believe him. Jake just smiled lightly and said, “Mr. Chen, do you know? I’m actually very grateful to you. If it weren’t for you, I would have been the one with severed tendons.”

Only then did I realize that the real reason Lily got into an argument with others that day was because Jake had accidentally spilled wine on the boss sitting opposite them while pouring. The boss said a few words to him, and Jake, unwilling to back down, started arguing with them. Lily, in an attempt to stand up for her secretary, got into an argument with them, which led to what happened later. In my ear, Dr. Lucas was still earnestly advising me not to make the same mistake again. I waved my hand and said, “Don’t worry, how could I possibly fall in the same place twice?” However, the very next day, Lily knocked on my door. A thirty-year-old body housing an eighteen-year-old soul made Lily look particularly strange. For example, an adult sucking on a strawberry-flavored lollipop while sitting on my couch, curiously examining the interior decor. “Adrian, is this our home? It’s so shabby and small. Didn’t you say you’d buy me a villa when you made a lot of money?” Lily jumped onto me, clinging to me like a koala. My hand, which was making tea, paused. I said, “I did buy one, in Blue Bay Residences.” Lily bit her fingernail and said, “Oh, that house is yours? I thought it was Jake’s.” I’m a doctor, and my income isn’t as high as Lily’s, but I still wanted to give Lily a home through my own efforts. I worked tirelessly and finally saved enough for a down payment. On the day we moved into the new home, I carried Lily and spun her around in the living room. At that time, she held tightly onto my neck, saying she was the happiest woman in the world. Later, she had an affair with Jake in that very house. That day, I came home after a night shift to find Jake wearing my pajamas, lying on my pillow, holding Lily as they slept soundly. All the blood in my body froze. It was almost by instinct that I yanked Jake up. Lily let out a scream, kneeling on the ground begging for my forgiveness. She said she had drunk too much and couldn’t remember anything. In the end, I chose to believe Lily. I told her to replace Jake. She did, but not in bed. After catching them together for what felt like the hundredth time, I filed for divorce. Lily agreed, and we quickly got our divorce papers. I felt disgusted, so I didn’t take anything with me when I left. Surprisingly, Jake didn’t seem to mind, and the two of them continued living there for quite some time. I didn’t continue this topic and asked Lily why she had come. Lily grinned and hugged my waist, saying, “You’re my boyfriend. Of course, I should be wherever you are.” I pried her hands off and said flatly, “Didn’t I tell you? We’re already divorced.” Lily put her hands on her hips and said righteously, “The thirty-year-old Lily divorced you. What does that have to do with me, the eighteen-year-old Lily? I don’t care. I just want to be with you. At worst, I’ll pursue you all over again.” Actually, our relationship had been Lily’s forceful pursuit. In high school, Lily was the school’s star. Beautiful, from a well-off family, she was every boy’s goddess.

In comparison, I was much more ordinary. Average looks, average family background, raised by my mother alone since I was young. The only thing extraordinary about me was probably my consistently top-ranking grades. I don’t know what about me attracted Lily, but one day, I inexplicably became Lily’s boyfriend. When I tried to explain to others, Lily would suddenly appear by my side, link her arm with mine, and say with a smile, “Adrian is shy, don’t tease him.” At that time, I hated Lily to the core and wanted nothing more than to stay far away from her. Until one day, I saw her at my home. She was munching on a pancake, waving at me happily. My mom told me that if it weren’t for Lily’s help, her street stall would have been confiscated by the city management that day. In her haste, Lily had even scraped her hand, which my mom had carefully bandaged. But Lily acted as if it didn’t hurt at all, smiling carefreely as she said, “Classmate Chen, your mom’s pancakes are so delicious!” That was the first time I felt that Lily wasn’t so annoying after all. Later, we gradually became closer. We promised to apply to universities in the same city and to get married after graduation. “Will you agree? Will you agree?” Lily tugged at the hem of my shirt, whining. Suddenly, I had an idea. I nodded and said okay. Lily smiled somewhat mischievously and threw herself into my arms. She was about to say something when there was a knock at the door. I opened the door, only to be knocked down by Jake’s punch. “Adrian, seducing a married woman? Have you no shame?” Jake yelled. If it weren’t for my weakened body due to illness, I would have taught Jake a lesson. But now, I could only lean against the doorframe, taking a long time to recover. Lily rushed out, standing in front of me, pointing at Jake and cursing, “Are you fucking crazy? I’ve told you I don’t like you. Why are you still pestering me?” As soon as Jake saw Lily, his aggression diminished considerably. He put on a placating smile and said, “Lily, you’ve lost your memory. You have no relationship with him now. I’m your boyfriend.” Lily crossed her arms, looking Jake up and down, then snorted coldly, “I may have lost my memory, but I haven’t lost my mind. Me, like you? A toad yearning for swan’s flesh, what kind of dream are you having? Get lost now, or I’ll call a whole group of people to beat you up.” For a moment, it felt like we had truly returned to the past. When Lily’s admirers came to cause trouble for me, she would shield me just like this. Jake glared at me hatefully and sneered, “Adrian, you coward. You can only hide behind a woman for the rest of your life.” I retorted, not backing down, “Jake, you’re not a coward. You’re brave enough to climb into your boss’s bed.” The poor soundproofing in the old neighborhood meant our quarrel had attracted many onlookers. People were curiously pointing and discussing us. Jake’s face reddened, and with a “You just wait and see,” he hurriedly left. I coughed lightly and closed the door. Lily looked at me with starry eyes and said, “Wow, Adrian, you’re so cool. You made him run away with just one sentence.” I chuckled and patted Lily’s head, then took out my phone. In Lily’s memory, we were still using Nokia phones. She had no idea how to order takeout or call a ride-hailing service. I wonder how this little girl managed to find me across half the city. After an afternoon of learning, Lily was already able to play games on my phone. Feeling pleased, I made her a bowl of wonton for dinner. Focused on her game, Lily didn’t notice the bloodstained tissues in the trash can, nor did she see me swallow a handful of pills. My home didn’t have an extra room, so I gave the master bedroom to Lily and made do with the sofa for the night. And so, Lily and I began an odd cohabitation. Jake would come by from time to time, but without exception, he was always scolded away by Lily. Lily and I seemed to return to our passionate dating days. Her eyes no longer held resentment and disgust when she looked at me, but instead overflowed with love. Everything seemed to go back to how it was when we first got married. In the morning, I would get up first, prepare breakfast for Lily, squeeze out toothpaste for her, and then wake her up. She liked to sleep in, and I would patiently carry her to wash up every day. During the day, we each went to work. She was busy with business negotiations, and I was even busier with surgeries. We could hardly speak a word to each other throughout the entire day. Only the time after work was truly ours. We were no different from ordinary young couples. We shopped at supermarkets together, bought groceries together. At home, I was the chef, and she was my assistant. Though calling her an assistant was generous; it was more like causing trouble. She would eat the tomatoes I had cut, or insist on tasting the soup before it was ready. When the kitchen was filled with the aroma of cooking, she would pull me close and exchange a tomato-flavored kiss with me. I was afraid that hot oil might splash and hurt her, or that the smoke would taint her skin. Every time I told her to leave the kitchen, she would hug my waist and say with a grin, “I’m not afraid. Wherever Adrian is, that’s where I’ll be.” Back then, Lily’s heart and eyes were full of me, and so were mine of her. I thought our days would continue like this forever, but when did things start to change? It was when Lily stopped mentioning Jake in front of me, when Lily secretly changed her phone password; when Lily began to resist intimate gestures with me. It was when Lily’s work became increasingly busy; when Lily’s gaze towards me gradually became cold and distant; when Lily made excuses about work and stopped coming home. Lily and I were like two intersecting lines, briefly touching before heading in different directions. I watched all of this happen before my eyes, powerless to change it.

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