I was staring blankly at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test. Suddenly, my husband, who was out for a business dinner, called and asked me to bring him some medicine. His tone was urgent, and he hung up immediately after speaking. Worried and anxious, I rushed across town. But when I arrived, Ryan snatched the medicine from my hand without a word and turned away. I was left forgotten in the freezing cold, swallowing the words I hadn’t had a chance to say. I waited until late into the night. When he finally came out, he had another woman in his arms. 0 “Emma, it’s cold out. You’re not dressed warmly enough. Let me drive you home,” Ryan said gently, wrapping his coat around the woman standing opposite him. Seeing this scene, my steps towards him came to an abrupt halt. The woman called Emma noticed me first and lowered her head, nudging Ryan. He asked curiously, “What’s wrong?” Then he followed Emma’s gaze and looked behind him. When he saw me, he blurted out, “Why are you here?” His tone when speaking to me was completely different from how he had spoken to Emma. My feet, numb from standing in the cold wind for hours, felt heavy. My mouth was also numb. I stuttered, “Didn’t you ask me to come?” He had asked me to come, then left me here while he was being intimate with another woman. I turned my gaze to Emma. She seemed to suddenly wake up from a dream, clutching Ryan’s coat as she stepped out of his embrace. “Lily, I’m so sorry for the trouble,” she said. “I just had a bit of a stomachache, and Ryan overreacted, insisting I take some medicine.” Her words were apologetic, but her tone was full of pride. Only then did I realize that the medicine Ryan had asked me to bring was for Emma. I had been so worried, constantly urging the driver to speed up on the way here. I was still processing Emma’s words when Ryan spoke up. “It’s no trouble at all. She’s free anyway,” he said. It was the first time I had heard Ryan speak about me like this. I looked up at him in disbelief. But Ryan just turned to me and asked, “Do you need anything else?” “If not, I’m going to take Emma home first.” “She’s delicate and lightly dressed, unlike you, bundled up like an Eskimo.” I dressed warmly because I was sensitive to cold, and winters were always difficult for me. I even had to work from home during winter because I couldn’t go out. Ryan knew all of this. Yet he said this about me in front of Emma. At that moment, I didn’t know if I felt more embarrassed or angry. After speaking, Ryan had already brought the car around. I was about to move towards the passenger seat when Emma quickly stepped in front of me. “Lily, I get carsick. Could I sit in the front?” she asked. I wanted to say no. But Ryan had already made the decision for me. “Emma, go ahead and sit in front,” he said. “Lily goes to bed early, and it would be too late if I came back after dropping you off.” “She can take a cab home and get to bed earlier.” With that, Ryan handed me his wallet and drove off. He didn’t even give me a chance to speak. But I had been waiting here because I couldn’t get a cab. I was so angry at Ryan that my stomach hurt. Belatedly, I began to suspect the nature of his relationship with Emma. If they were just ordinary colleagues, why would he abandon his own wife to drive her home? I walked for two hours with this suspicion. Finally, unable to bear the cold any longer, I checked into a shabby hostel. The walls were just thin wooden boards, and I could hear drunk people shouting outside. I was so scared that I didn’t sleep all night. 0
The next day, feeling groggy, I left the hostel and received a call from Ryan. His tone on the phone was impatient. “Lily Song, where did you go last night? Why didn’t you come home?” “You’re a married woman, how could you spend the night out without telling me?” I had been worried sick and disappeared for a whole night, but Ryan showed no concern. Instead, every word was an accusation. My pent-up emotions finally burst out. “Ryan Shaw, you say I shouldn’t have spent the night out.” “But you, a married man, abandoned your wife to drive another woman home. Is that appropriate?” “Did you consider my feelings? What right do you have to blame me?” My grievances came pouring out. I thought he would realize his mistake. But Ryan turned it back on me. “You’re older than Emma, how can you not be more mature about this?” “Besides, weren’t you right there when I offered to drive Emma home?” “If you didn’t agree, why didn’t you say something then? Why are you making a fuss now?” “I’m so sick of you!” After scolding me without rhyme or reason, Ryan hung up the phone. I stood there, stunned, listening to the dial tone. It wasn’t until my stomach started to hurt that I snapped out of it. Remembering the two lines on the test yesterday, I forgot about Ryan’s attitude and rushed to the hospital, worried and scared. By the time I arrived, there was obvious blood on the hem of my pants. The doctor said I had indeed been pregnant. But now, the baby was gone. It hadn’t even been 24 hours from when I learned of its existence to when I lost it. I struggled to grab the doctor for confirmation, but because I moved too quickly, I fell to the ground. “Please… please, doctor… save my baby…” “I beg you, save it!” Everything had happened so fast, I hadn’t even had time to react. I instinctively begged the doctor for help. But he just sighed deeply at me. “Your body was already weak, and you caught a chill right after conceiving.” “It’s too late now!” Too late! My baby was gone! I was in a daze, not knowing how I got back home. The moment I opened the door, I saw Emma sitting on the sofa, playing with one of my dolls. Ryan, hearing the door open, poked his head out from the kitchen, smiling from ear to ear. “Lily, Emma’s all alone and lonely, so I invited her to come over for dinner more often.” “You’re back just in time. Why don’t you make a couple of your specialties for Emma to try?” I looked at Ryan as he spoke, then shifted my gaze to Emma’s face. Suddenly, anger welled up inside me. “Go to hell!” I shouted, using a curse word I had never uttered before in my life. After yelling this, I lunged at Emma, grappling with her, trying to push her out the door. “Get out! You’re not welcome in our home.” “Get out!” I lashed out at Emma like a madwoman. Ryan, who had been in high spirits, saw me like this and his smile froze on his face. “Lily Song, what’s wrong with you?” 0
He rushed over in a few quick strides and pulled me away. His force was so strong that I was thrown to the ground. When I came to my senses, I remembered that Ryan was also responsible for the death of my child. So I got up and started pushing him out too. “You get out too, you’re no better, get out!” Ryan shielded Emma behind him and grabbed my arms, shouting, “Lily Song, have you gone mad?” “Yes, I have gone mad!” “Ryan Shaw, if it weren’t for you, the baby wouldn’t have been lost. You’re both murderers!” I grabbed Ryan’s collar and yelled these words, then calmed down slightly. Ryan asked me, confused. “What baby?” I laughed coldly and told him what I hadn’t had a chance to say yesterday. But Ryan blurted out, “How is that possible?” “I always used protection.” After he said this, the air fell into silence. I hadn’t expected his reaction to be doubt rather than joy. It felt like a thousand needles were piercing my heart, hurting so much I couldn’t speak. “As you wished, the baby is gone now.” After saying these words to Ryan with a bitter smile, I slowly let go of his collar. In this silence, Emma suddenly let out a shrill scream, then covered her mouth. “Lily, Ryan said you guys used protection. Could it be that this baby… wasn’t his?” “Were you afraid Ryan would find out, so you got rid of the baby yourself, killing two birds with one stone by making him feel guilty?” She spoke on and on, as if she had discovered the truth, spinning her own wild theories. After finishing, she dramatically tried to explain herself to me. “Lily, I didn’t mean it like that… it’s just that in novels, that’s how it usually goes…” Emma put on an exaggerated performance in front of me, pretending to be hesitant, but somehow her act had an audience who believed it. Ryan looked at me, hurt, and questioned, “Lily Song, haven’t I been good enough to you?” “Why would you do this to me?” I laughed bitterly at his words and pointed at Emma, asking in return. “We’ve been married for five years, and you believe her over me?” Ryan’s expression froze for a moment. Emma pitifully clutched at his sleeve and said, “Ryan, you know I never lie.” Ryan looked at her in silence for a while. Then he turned to me and said, “Emma doesn’t lie.” “You think she doesn’t lie, so you believe her biased words and think I’ve wronged you?” “Ryan Shaw, I’ve been with you for so long, am I not worth as much as someone you’ve known for just a few days?” “She doesn’t lie, but when have I ever lied to you?” Every word Ryan said stabbed me in the heart! My already unbearable pain became even more desperate. An indescribable sense of powerlessness filled my heart, making me lose the will to wait for his answer. Without waiting for Ryan to respond, I coldly said, “Ryan Shaw, let’s get a divorce.” “I’ll draft the divorce agreement and send it to you.” 0
After forcing myself to say everything, I closed my eyes and said no more. Ryan angrily kicked the door twice. Then he stormed out, dragging Emma along. As he left, he deliberately mocked me, “Lily Song, you’re really willing to say anything now just to get attention.” “You can even joke about a child so easily, making up lies about being pregnant and losing it.” “I despise you!” As his words fell, the door slammed shut, and the room fell into silence. In the end, he didn’t follow Emma’s lead and accuse me of the child not being his. But his words were still hurtful. If I could, I would wish more than anyone that this was all made up. That way, I wouldn’t have lost my child. But unfortunately, it wasn’t. I curled up on the sofa, tears sliding down my cheeks as I sobbed. That night, Ryan suddenly called. I was startled awake from a nightmare, opening my eyes, not knowing where I was. After a moment, I answered the phone, and Ryan’s slightly drunk voice came through. He asked me, “Lily Song, have you realized your mistake?” I sneered and was about to hang up when his next words came. “I just didn’t expect you to be pregnant, I wasn’t doubting you.” “I spoke harshly earlier today, don’t be angry.” As soon as he finished speaking, Emma’s coquettish voice came from the other end of the line. “Ryan, Ryan, stop playing with your phone and come keep me company.” The call was immediately disconnected. I remembered what Ryan had said to me, and his contradictory actions, and burst into tears holding my phone. After crying enough, I lay awake until dawn. Then I immediately contacted a lawyer to draft a divorce agreement. I didn’t want to spend another day with such an unclean person and such an unclean relationship. But Ryan came back the next evening, bringing my favorite mung bean cake. He smiled at me as if nothing had happened, seeking praise. “Lily, I went out of my way to buy this mung bean cake for you.” “It’s still warm, try it quickly.” I looked at the mung bean cake in his hand, slowly reached out to take it, then crushed it. “Ryan Shaw, once it’s broken, it can’t be eaten anymore.” After saying this, I left him and went back to my room. Ryan was so angry he was panting heavily. After a long while, he pounded on my door with his fist. “Lily Song, that’s enough.” “I bought this to make peace with you, and this is how you react?” What could I mean? No matter how delicious a favorite food is, once it’s crushed, it can’t be eaten. No matter how much you love someone, once there’s a crack, you have to let go. The mung bean cake was like that, and so was Ryan Shaw! Outside, snow had started falling softly at some point. I stared blankly out the window while listening to Ryan pounding on the door behind me. He got tired of pounding and stopped, changing to gentle persuasion. “Lily, Emma is still young. She might not always know how to speak or act appropriately, but you don’t need to take it so seriously, do you? She’s just a kid.” Even at this point, Ryan was still trying to explain for Emma. How thoughtful of him. I turned away from the window, went barefoot to open the door. And slapped Ryan across the face.
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