My seven-year-old brother wrote a bucket list. Every time he got admitted to the hospital, he added another line to it. He wanted my childhood sweetheart, Ben, and me to take him to the amusement park. He wanted us to eat ice cream together. He wanted us to build sandcastles on the beach. Every single wish revolved around me. But when I read the very last line on that list, it hit me like a ton of bricks. He wished for Ben and me to break up. I didn’t take it seriously at first. I just brushed it off as my little brother’s overprotective gene kicking in. I even thought it was cute enough to share with Ben as a joke. “Someone wants me to dump you. What do you think about that?” Ben stayed dead silent for a long moment. Then, he decided to confess everything. “Don’t listen to whatever your best friend is feeding you. Even if she goes through with the pregnancy, I am not breaking up with you to be with her.” “But you have to promise me one thing. Don’t go making a scene with Chloe. She’s pregnant and her morning sickness is brutal right now. If you go after her, I’ll pull the plug on finding that specialist for your brother.” In a split second, the bucket list hidden behind my back was crumpled tight in my trembling fist. “…Fine. I promise.” “But you have to promise me you’ll help finish my brother’s bucket list.” 1 Hearing my condition, Ben didn’t agree right away. A flash of knowing exhaustion crossed his eyes. “Are you mad? I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but this is Chloe’s first baby. I have to be extremely careful. I’ll get the doctor sorted out for your brother. But I might not have as much time to spend with you lately. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, babe.” Saying that, Ben gently wrapped his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. He had done this exact move a thousand times before. I didn’t even have to think to know what he was going to do next. He would slowly nuzzle his cheek against mine. It was our secret little way of apologizing and making things right. But this time, I flinched away. I needed to cut the cord cleanly. “How long have you two been together? Five months? Eight months? A whole year? We’ve only known her for eighteen months total. Do not sit there and tell me it was love at first sight.” My voice was incredibly soft. So quiet that even I couldn’t hear the heartbreak in it. But Ben immediately got defensive and let go of me. “Can you really not give me the absolute bare minimum of trust? It happened exactly one time, three months ago. That’s when she got pregnant. What do you want me to say? Do you want the whole play-by-play of how we hung out, how I took her clothes off, and how she got knocked up?” “Besides, if you could actually have kids, do you really think I’d let her keep it?” My eyes widened in sheer disbelief. “Why can’t I have kids? Do you honestly not know?” Fourteen years ago, Ben’s parents’ business went under. Loan sharks showed up at his house. One of them grabbed Ben by the collar, holding a switchblade to his throat, demanding money from his parents. Except they grabbed the wrong kid. They grabbed me, thinking I was their daughter. I was thirteen. I didn’t say a word because I was terrified Ben would get hurt. I took the blade to the stomach for him. And now, at twenty-seven, Ben just blurted it out like it was nothing. “You volunteered for that. I didn’t ask you to do it. You can’t just keep bringing up ancient history every time you want to win an argument.” He glared at me, his brow heavily furrowed. It felt like I was truly seeing him for the very first time. The Ben in my memory was a ten-year-old boy bravely standing in front of the school bullies, promising to protect me. He was a thirteen-year-old crying his eyes out, swearing he would take care of me forever. He was a twenty-year-old holding my hands on a snowy mountain, wishing for nothing but my happiness. He was not this stranger who betrayed me and then tried to gaslight me with “logic” just to save his own skin. My grip on the crumpled piece of paper tightened until my knuckles turned white. “You’re right. I made a huge mistake back then. I shouldn’t have played the hero and saved your life. Being infertile is just my karma.” I thought agreeing with him would end it, but his face just twisted into something uglier. “Here we go again. You’re starting up again. Look at yourself. You’re acting completely psychotic right now. What is the difference between you and a screaming banshee?” “Send me the parts of the list that involve me. I’ll show up when I can. I don’t have the time or the patience to deal with your tantrums today. Chloe has an ultrasound appointment. Figure your own mess out.” With that, Ben snatched his jacket off the couch and stormed out, leaving me completely alone in the dead quiet of the apartment. I picked up my phone and dialed a number I had saved months ago. “That pediatric specialist in Boston… is the offer to consult still on the table?” 2 The voice on the other end sounded a bit surprised. “I mean, yes. But didn’t you say you booked a top tier doctor locally and the dates clashed?” That local doctor was the one Ben had used all of his family connections to secure. It used to be his ultimate proof of how much he loved me. Now, it was just the leash he used to keep me trapped. He assumed that since my job and my life were rooted here, I didn’t have the means to drag my sick brother across the country to find a doctor. He thought I had no choice but to rely on him. I forced a bitter smile and dodged the real issue. “It didn’t work out. I’m flying him out for a consultation this week.” As for why it didn’t work out, I kept my mouth shut. I packed my suitcases and got ready to walk out of that apartment for good. But the second I opened the front door, I was face to face with Chloe. Her eyes were rimmed red with tears. She grabbed my hands with a desperate grip, drowning me in endless apologies. “I am so, so sorry. I swear I never wanted to steal your boyfriend. I just looked up to you so much. If I get on my knees right now, will you please forgive me? You are my absolute best friend. We promised to be bridesmaids at each other’s weddings!” Dangling from her wrist was the good luck charm I bought for her. I had prayed over that charm at a snowy mountain shrine. She had hugged me, crying, saying how blessed she was to have met me. And in the blink of an eye, she was holding Ben’s hand, stabbing me right in the back. Ben stepped out of the elevator, his eyes filled with agonizing pity for her. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He glared at me. “Apologize to Chloe right now. Do you have any idea how long she’s been crying because you wouldn’t answer her calls? Pregnant women cannot handle massive emotional distress! Even if you don’t care, you have a mother. You should know better!” My head snapped up in sheer shock. It took me a full minute to even find my voice. “I don’t have one anymore. My parents died in a car crash a year ago. Did you somehow forget?” Ben’s brow furrowed, instantly trying to backpedal. “Don’t twist my words, sweetie. You know I didn’t mean…” But I didn’t acknowledge him. I ripped my hands away, grabbing Chloe’s wrist and pressing down hard on the good luck charm she wore. “And did you forget too? You looked up to me? You want my life? Well, I wish you the exact same life I have. Dead parents, totally betrayed by the person you love the most. Oh, right, you don’t have a little brother. So I hope that baby in your stomach ends up exactly like my brother.” Slap! Before I even registered the burning sting on my cheek, my heart completely shattered. Ben’s palm was bright red. A flash of instant regret crossed his eyes. But Chloe shrieked, completely dropping the innocent act. “Are you out of your mind?! This is my baby! And one day it’s going to be your baby too! What the hell do you get out of cursing an unborn child?!” I kept my head down. My eyes locked onto the shiny leather shoes on Chloe’s feet. Chloe and I met in college. We were roommates. She moved here from a tiny rural town. She was terrified of her own shadow and had zero friends. So I became her lifeline. When we graduated, I paid the deposit on her apartment. When guys harassed her, I fought them off. I even bought those exact shiny shoes for her first job interview, because her parents refused to spend a dime on a girl. And now, the reflection on those polished shoes just showed me how utterly pathetic I was. Ben had money. He treated her better than he ever treated me. He would make sure she never went without. I wanted to let it all go. But my shoulders were wound so tight they were shaking. I was desperately trying to convince myself that this cold, uncaring act was just me saving face. “That is not my child. It shares zero DNA with me. And we are not a package deal. Did you forget? We aren’t even married.” “Not married?” Ben practically laughed in my face, like it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard. “Look at the state your brother is in. Can you really afford to walk away from me right now?” Ben had said something eerily similar at my parents’ funeral. He had held my shaking hands and said, “You still have me. I will be right by your side. Since they are gone, it’s my turn to take care of you. As long as you need me, I will never leave.” The vows that were supposed to protect me had morphed into the chains forcing me to swallow his betrayal. I grabbed the handle of my suitcase. Chloe lunged forward to stop me, but Ben pulled her back. “Let her go. Let her throw her little tantrum. Your only job right now is to take care of yourself. Don’t waste your energy getting mad over people who aren’t worth it.” Not worth it. That was the perfect summary of my twenty-seven years on this earth. The scar on my abdomen, silent for over a decade, suddenly flared with a blinding, throbbing pain. 3 The amusement park was my brother’s idea. Ben dragged Chloe along. Chloe was holding an action figure my brother loved, crouching in front of him, desperately trying to win him over. But my brother wasn’t excited at all. He just gripped my hand tightly and refused to let go. Ben frowned. Right as he opened his mouth to scold him, Chloe let out a bloodcurdling scream and collapsed onto the pavement. Before I could even process what happened, Ben lunged forward and violently shoved my seven-year-old brother to the ground. I dove on instinct, shielding my brother’s body. My arm scraped brutally against the rough concrete, tearing off a massive layer of skin. Chloe clutched her stomach, looking absolutely devastated. “I know you hate me! I get it! I know I wronged you! But my baby is completely innocent! Why would you teach your brother to pinch my stomach?!” Her crying was loud enough that a crowd of people at the amusement park started turning their heads, forming a circle around us. Ben’s face was completely black with rage. He screamed at the top of his lungs. “Are you insane?! Chloe was nice enough to care about your feelings! She literally begged me to come help your brother finish his stupid bucket list! And this is how you repay her?! Are you not going to be happy until you force her to have a miscarriage?!” Ben and Chloe looked like a distressed married couple. To the crowd, I was instantly labeled as the psychotic mistress. People pointed fingers, whispering viciously. A few even pulled out their phones, recording the drama for TikTok. But I tuned all of them out. I stared intensely at my brother’s unfocused eyes. I patted his pale cheek, calling his name in a panicked whisper. “Look at me! Wake up! Please, wake up!” Ben hated that I was ignoring him. He grabbed my bleeding arm, refusing to let it go. But when he saw the blood pouring down my skin, he froze for a second. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. A horrific scream tore from my throat as tears flooded my face. “He has leukemia! He has severe leukemia! How could you shove him like that?! If anything happens to him, what am I supposed to do?!” Chloe muttered under her breath. “Does she think we’re stupid? He passes out the second he gets caught doing something bad? Ben barely touched him. They’re just faking it so we don’t press charges.” Then, she acted like she realized she said that out loud. She clamped a hand over her mouth, looking terrified. And Ben actually bought it. He completely stopped believing me. This was the same man who confessed his love to me under the fireworks, swearing his devotion. He had said, “I will be your rock forever. Just give me one chance, and I will never let you down.” But right now, he stared down at me with absolute zero empathy. He even blocked a bystander from coming over to help. “Don’t encourage them. The kid is throwing a tantrum and the sister enables it. Let him bake in the sun for a few minutes. When he gets uncomfortable enough, he’ll magically wake up.” My hands were shaking violently as I dialed 911. Right on cue, Chloe clutched her stomach and started wailing in pain. Her eyes brimmed with fresh tears. “It’s from the fall! I swear I feel something leaking down there! Ben, I’m so scared!” Panic completely took over Ben’s face. He scooped Chloe up in his arms and sprinted straight into the back of the ambulance the second it arrived. He totally forgot I was still kneeling on the pavement holding my unconscious brother. The paramedic looked torn, but the bystanders immediately started chiming in. “Just go! The kid is faking it to avoid getting grounded. That pregnant lady just took a nasty fall. You need to get her to the ER!” “The sister spoils him rotten. They’re just wasting emergency resources. That kid is going to grow up to be a total menace.” I begged them to stop, but my voice was completely drowned out by the angry mob. The ambulance doors slammed shut, leaving my brother and me entirely alone in the dust. Thankfully, a girl passing by couldn’t stand watching it anymore. She practically threw us into the back of her car and sped all the way to the ER. My brother was barely saved in time. The on-call doctor took one look at his chart and immediately ordered him into the trauma bay. “Leukemia patients have zero immune system and cannot sustain trauma! Do you not know this as his guardian?! His baseline was already critically low!” Staring at the glowing red ‘IN SURGERY’ sign above the doors, I finally broke down, sobbing quietly into my hands. A year ago, my parents were wheeled through those exact same doors. And they never came out. Ben always called me dramatic and immature. But what exactly did I do wrong? My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text from Chloe. It was a picture of Ben, asleep with his head resting near her hospital bed. “You were right. I don’t need to want your life. I’ve already taken your man. Do you want to know exactly when we got together? The night your parents died in that car crash.” I stared at the glowing screen. I stopped crying. I stopped breathing. Chloe’s messages kept rolling in. “Ben told me you’d lock yourself in your bedroom. He said you’d refuse to talk to anyone or see anyone. He said it was the absolute safest time.” “And he was right. The next morning, you saw the stains on his bedsheets. He made up some excuse about not having time to do laundry. And you were so blinded by grief you just assumed it was from you guys messing around before.” Twenty-seven years together. Ben truly knew me inside and out. Footsteps echoed down the hallway. Ben appeared, panting heavily. “The doctor just called me. What the hell did you guys do after we left? Why is he in emergency surgery?!” I looked up from my phone, staring at him. He looked exactly like he did the night he rushed to the hospital after my parents crashed. He looked so panicked. And the second his eyes landed on my tear-stained face, that familiar, long-lost heartbreak washed over him again. “We were just finishing his bucket list.” My voice was hollow. It was lighter than air. And we would have finished it. If Chloe hadn’t maliciously framed my brother. If Ben hadn’t shoved him to the concrete. Ben didn’t understand what I meant. He just sat heavily beside me, gently picking up my arm that was still crusted with dried blood and dirt. “You were in the wrong today. Don’t try to blur the lines just because your brother got sick. I’ll let you vent today, but when we get back, you are apologizing to Chloe.” I didn’t argue. I just kept talking, completely disconnected from whatever reality he was living in. “Do you know what the very last wish on his list is?” Ben let out an exhausted sigh. He softened his tone, realizing he just had to humor me. “What is it?” That tone. It was so painfully familiar. It was the exact tone he used when he asked me to be his girlfriend at eighteen. The amusement park fireworks exploded in the distance, casting brief flashes of light against the sterile hospital walls. I stared dead into his eyes. I didn’t even have the energy to fake a smile anymore. “He wants us to break up.”
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