At the graduation party when I was eighteen, Jacob Taylor introduced me to an adult secret. I endured the initial discomfort, but secretly smiled the whole way home. Six years of secret love, from middle school to high school graduation, had finally come to fruition. I curled up in bed, my fingertips lightly tracing the marks he left behind, as if this could make that moment last forever. Until the next afternoon, when I returned to school early to retrieve a forgotten notebook and heard Jacob and his basketball teammates laughing in the empty classroom. “Nice job, you scored with the class beauty,” a gruff male voice rang out – it was Mike, the team’s center. My heart skipped a beat as I stood in the shadows of the hallway clutching my notebook, my cheeks burning. “I wanted to pursue Jessica, but was afraid she’d think I was too inexperienced,” Jacob’s casual voice was like a dull knife, slowly cutting open my chest, “So I practiced my skills with Emily first.” I didn’t say a word, I just changed my first college choice from New York University to the University of Florida – the option furthest from New York.
The notebook slipped from my hands, landing with a muffled thud on the carpet. I stood frozen in place, as if struck by lightning. On a hot July afternoon in Minnesota, I felt my blood turn to ice. “As expected of our captain, even the class beauty is just practice for him,” another teammate, Chris, whistled. “Doesn’t that make her like, what do you call it, one of those inflatable practice dolls?” Mike laughed crudely. Jacob laughed and threw a textbook at him: “Don’t say it like that, it’s not like she lost out.” “Seriously though, the class beauty is too skinny. Compared to Jessica the cheerleading captain-” “Shut up,” Jacob interrupted, but with a laugh in his voice, “It was just the mood at the time. Besides, I could tell she was struggling quite a bit…” “Wow, who knew our straight-A class president Emily was such a closet freak!” “Who could resist Jacob’s charm? When meat is served to your mouth, how can you not eat it?” “Emily’s been chasing you for so many years, she’s probably fantasized about it countless times, right?” A burst of harsh laughter erupted from the classroom. I bit my lip hard until I tasted iron. My nails dug deep into my palms, the pain barely keeping me standing. Footsteps echoed from the end of the hallway, and I frantically picked up my notebook and fled into the farthest stall of the girls’ bathroom. The moment I locked the door, tears began to fall. I covered my mouth, suppressing my sobs as my body slid down the partition to the cold floor. The girl in the mirror had red, swollen eyes and messy hair – this was how Jacob Taylor saw me, a convenient post-it note girl to be used and discarded. Outside the stall, the sound of running water and girls chatting drifted in. I held my breath, listening to them discuss prom and their upcoming college lives. Most people had chosen schools on the East Coast, including Jacob – he had received a sports scholarship to New York University. And I had originally planned to follow him to New York, applying for a scholarship to the same university. With trembling hands, I took out my phone and logged into the college application system. The deadline was midnight tonight. My finger hovered over the screen for a long time before I finally changed my first choice from New York University to the University of Florida – the farthest option from New York. “Emily? Are you in there?” My best friend Sarah’s voice came from outside the door. “The graduation ceremony is about to start, everyone’s looking for you.” I quickly wiped away my tears and took a deep breath: “I’ll be right out.” As I pushed open the stall door, I fixed my appearance in the mirror. The girl in the reflection had changed – something soft had died in her eyes. At the graduation ceremony, I mechanically accepted my diploma. As I stood on stage, my gaze swept over the crowd – Jacob was laughing and joking with his basketball teammates, not even bothering to look up at me. That night, while everyone else was celebrating graduation by the lake, I sat alone at home and clicked the “Confirm Submission” button. The system displayed a successful change: Emily Carter, University of Florida, Biochemistry major. Thirteen hundred miles from New York.
Tears of heartbreak and humiliation had long since fallen. Jacob’s words echoed in my mind over and over again. They had almost completely destroyed all of my self-esteem. If I hadn’t heard it with my own ears, I never would have believed that he and the person who had been so intimately entangled with me last night were the same person. Apparently, it was possible to do such intimate things without love. Even in the most passionate moments of losing all reason, it was possible to lie and deceive. What I had foolishly believed to be the fruition of our relationship was nothing more than a joke to others. The more I cried, the more upset I became. But I didn’t dare make a sound, my body shaking uncontrollably. After a long while. My phone buzzed with a message notification. It was Jacob. [Take a cab home yourself, the team has a celebration party tonight, it’s not convenient to take you.] I didn’t reply. He added another message. [Remember to go to CVS and buy Plan B, I don’t have time to go with you today. Make sure to take it, be good.] I stared at these two messages for a long time without saying anything. Yesterday from evening until dawn, Jacob had worn me out over and over again. In the end, when we were both exhausted, just before he fell asleep holding me, he had mumbled twice. “We weren’t fully prepared for the first time, I’ll definitely take you to buy emergency contraception tomorrow.” He even reminded me that girls need to protect themselves, and that Plan B is more effective the earlier you take it. At the time, I thought he was being responsible towards me, that I had finally found my happiness. But now… In an instant, I sobered up quite a bit. I pinched my palm hard, forcing myself to stop crying. I wiped away my tears and tidied myself up before leaving the bathroom. Too embarrassed to go to the pharmacy myself, I just ordered the pill on Uber Eats. After the rider left it at the door, it took me a long time before I dared to sneak out and bring it back. After swallowing the pill with tears in my eyes, I seemed to lose all my strength and just sat numbly on the carpet, staring blankly. Ever since Jacob’s family moved in next door, I had followed him around like a little tail for ten years. I had never imagined what a world without him would be like. I didn’t dare to imagine it either. But from now on, it would just be me alone. Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the lights of Minneapolis came on one by one, then gradually went out. I don’t know how much time had passed when my best friend Sarah FaceTimed me. “Emily, why didn’t you come to the graduation party with Jacob tonight? “That cheerleader Jessica showed up instead, and she’s been all over Jacob while you’re not here. They’re being so gross right now.” Sarah turned the camera to show me.
In a dim corner of the party, Jacob and Jessica the school beauty were sitting close together. Jessica was wearing a crop top and tight jeans tonight, showing off her slim waist and long legs. The two of them were clearly separated from the people around them. Even their conversation seemed like intimate whispering. The flirtatious atmosphere was palpable even through the screen. My chest tightened involuntarily. Jacob had just said this afternoon that he wanted to pursue her, and it looks like he’s already succeeded tonight. Jessica drew “guy does push-ups over girl” for Truth or Dare and had to pick a guy to do it with her. Not surprisingly, Jacob immediately volunteered. Everyone started cheering them on. Jessica blushed and obediently lay down on the couch. Jacob hovered over her and did dozens of push-ups in one go. He was very restrained the whole time, trying hard to avoid touching Jessica’s body. Until the very last one, whether he finally lost his strength or did it on purpose, He couldn’t hold himself up and fell directly on top of Jessica. The screams around them grew even louder, nearly taking the roof off. Jacob and Jessica’s faces turned even redder. Amidst the crowd’s frenzied cheering, Jacob simply lowered his head and kissed Jessica. The two kissed shamelessly, ignoring everyone around them. It lasted a full three minutes before they reluctantly parted. During those endless three minutes, I stared at the screen without blinking, so stunned I nearly forgot to breathe. My heart felt like it was being torn apart. I wanted to cry, but I had cried too much earlier without drinking water, so I had no tears left. “OMG Emily, did you see that? You could hear them kissing, he’s so into her,” Sarah exclaimed as she turned the camera away and left the party room. She found a quiet corner and sincerely advised me: “Emily, don’t blame me, but if you didn’t see it with your own eyes, you wouldn’t give up on him.” My throat was dry, and the sounds I made were barely audible. “Mm, I don’t blame you.” I only blame myself for being so stupid for so many years. I thought that since I was always allowed to follow Jacob around, that spot next to him would always be mine. “I just can’t stand Jacob. How could he string you along pretending to be an innocent boy when he knew you liked him for so many years, watching you fall deeper and deeper?” “You saw it clearly just now. I really hope you’ll seriously reconsider. Don’t let him waste another four years of your life in college…” “I won’t, Sarah,” I interrupted her, stating calmly. “I won’t give myself that chance again. “Sarah, I’ve already decided. I’m going to the University of Florida with you. “But you have to promise to keep it a secret for now.”
After saying that, to prevent myself from hesitating again, I opened my laptop in front of Sarah. Without any hesitation, just before the deadline, I changed my Early Decision application through the Common App from New York University to the University of Florida. Sarah was so happy she almost jumped up. She had been trying to persuade me to apply to the same university for a long time. But in our sophomore year of high school, Jacob and I had made a promise to work hard together and go to his dream school in New York after graduation. That’s where his dream sports management program was. So even though I was actually more drawn to the warm sunshine of California and didn’t particularly care for the hustle and bustle of New York, for three years of high school, I had always treated NYU as my only goal. After years of being neighbors, both sets of parents were happy for us to attend the same university. Everyone, including myself, thought that Jacob and I would naturally become a couple after we became adults. But now, I couldn’t find any reason to go to New York anymore. Or rather, after today, if I were to follow Jacob around like before, I would look down on myself. Now I just wanted to hide far away. It didn’t matter where, as long as Jacob wasn’t there. If he was on the East Coast, then I would go to the southernmost point.
Before bed, I filled an entire bathtub with water, wanting to wash myself completely clean. But when I took off my clothes, the purple bruises from his kisses were still clearly visible on my skin. Memories of last night came flooding back involuntarily. The burning heat of the boy’s skin as we held each other tightly, the scorching breath in my ear as we moved together – the lingering warmth seemed to still surround me. I shook my head violently, trying to shake off these wild memories. I found a loofah and scrubbed my skin over and over again until my whole body was red before I stopped. Clumsily attempting to erase this most shameful experience of my life. The result was that I was in so much pain I couldn’t sleep well all night. Jacob didn’t send any more messages either. Breaking the habit we’d had since getting phones of saying goodnight to each other without fail for six years. This was for the best. It would have happened sooner or later anyway. Might as well start detoxing from tonight. I tossed and turned until nearly dawn before finally falling asleep. Early the next morning while I was still sound asleep, I suddenly felt someone plant a light kiss on my forehead in my dream.
I woke with a start. But when I opened my eyes, I saw the familiar chin and Adam’s apple. The scent enveloping me from above was Jacob’s favorite Creed cologne, along with a faint unfamiliar citrus fragrance. I had almost forgotten, Jacob always had a spare key to my house. Seeing that I was awake, Jacob simply moved lower, chuckling as he tried to kiss my lips. I hurriedly turned my head to avoid it. I pushed him away and retreated to the other side of the bed. Jacob was stunned for a moment, then laughed at me: “Morning, sunshine. Why so shy?” I didn’t say anything, just pulled the covers over my head. Jacob scolded me while trying to pull off my blanket. “Emily Carter, you’ve got some nerve. You didn’t say goodnight to me last night and even turned off your phone. “Now you’re hiding from me?” He was quick, diving under the covers in an instant. Before I could react, he had me completely wrapped in his arms. “Hey, how many times have I told you not to skip breakfast? “I went out of my way to bring you your favorite – pumpkin spice latte and blueberry muffin from that Starbucks you love. “Do you want to get up and eat now, or… do you want me to eat you first…” His breath was extremely close to me, and his hands followed suit. Sobering up from my daze, I struggled desperately. But at 5’4″, I was no match for the 6’2″ athlete. I really couldn’t understand what he was thinking. He already had Jessica, why was he still messing with me? After struggling hard for a while, I was panting, but hadn’t broken free. Instead, he held me even tighter. “What’s wrong with you? “Are you angry? Just because I didn’t take you to the party last night? Such a small thing?” I didn’t say anything. He buried his head in the crook of my neck and laughed. “Let me guess, your gossip queen friend Sarah livestreamed it for you? “It was just a game, is that worth being jealous over? “Why are you still like before, getting upset whenever I get a little close to other girls?” I was furious to the extreme, at a complete loss for words. Remembering what I learned in self-defense class, I suddenly raised my knee and aimed for his groin, then quickly ran off the bed while he was in pain. “Emily!” Jacob gritted his teeth, his face turning red. I quickly grabbed a hoodie and threw it on over my pajamas, hurrying to the living room. I didn’t want to be in the same room as him, especially not my bedroom. Jacob came out shortly after, looking both angry and helpless. After a long while, he seemed to suddenly remember something and casually asked: “By the way, you took the Plan B yesterday, right?” “Don’t cause any accidents, we can’t explain it to your parents.” Jacob walked to the kitchen island and picked up the latte, holding it out to me. “Come on, drink something before you get angry. You know you have low blood sugar.” I didn’t say anything and didn’t take it. Jacob’s hand holding the cup froze in mid-air for a long time before he finally lost patience. “What the hell is your problem? “Emily, there’s a limit to throwing tantrums, you know?” I coldly replied: “I’m not good enough for you.” Jacob’s face turned white with anger. He slammed the coffee down on the counter. He used too much force, and the lid popped off, splattering coffee everywhere. “What do you mean by that? “Who do you think you are, Emily? “It was just a one night stand, and now you want to control me? Do you know how suffocating that is?” His tone was unprecedentedly fierce. In an instant, tears streamed down my face without a second of build-up. Yesterday’s humiliation and hurt all came rushing back. Jacob seemed unprepared for my sudden intense crying and was at a loss for what to do. He apologized with frustration: “Shit… I’m sorry, I drank too much last night and wasn’t thinking when I said that just now.” Jacob walked up to me as he spoke, reaching out to wipe my tears, but I dodged him again. He froze, his hand stopping in mid-air. He was about to say something else when his phone suddenly rang. He only glanced at the screen before his expression changed, and he immediately grabbed his jacket to leave. “I have an emergency, you calm down first. “We’re going to college now, stop being so childish. Who could put up with this in the future?”
Less than half an hour after he left, Sarah sent me a screenshot. It was Jessica’s Instagram story. [✨Magic breakfast appears when you’re hungry✨ Is this what they call mutual crush?] The photo showed an Einstein Bagels packaging bag identical to the one on my dining table. I didn’t reply. I just silently wiped away my tears and knelt down to clean up the coffee Jacob had spilled. After trying for a long time, I was upset to find that the stains on the wooden floor had seeped into the grain and couldn’t be wiped away. In a fit of anger, I contacted a flooring company to come refinish and reseal it. After all, this was the eco-friendly sealant that Jacob and his parents had specially recommended to my family after returning from their vacation in Hawaii. While I was at it, I gathered up Jacob’s sweatshirt, toothbrush, game console, and all the gifts he had given me over the years. I even went through the photos of us together on my phone, sorting them all out. I was busy until late at night before I finished packing everything into donation boxes. He probably wouldn’t care about these old things anyway. After Jacob left that day, there was no news from him for several days in a row. I guess things were going well with the cheerleading captain. Or maybe he was waiting for me to contact him first. In the past six years, every time we had a cold war, I was always the first to give in, without exception. But this time I didn’t reach out to him. There was no need to reach out to him anymore. I blocked his phone number and all his social media accounts, changed the password on my front door, and deleted my old Instagram. After doing all this, I called my parents who were on a business trip in China. I told them I wanted to go to San Francisco to stay with Aunt Linda during spring break. My plan was to fly directly to the University of Florida with Sarah when the break was over. Besides Sarah, no one else knew I had changed my ED application. This plan should perfectly avoid any chance of running into Jacob. Mom laughed on the phone and asked, “Sweetie, are you going to California with Jacob?” I gave a vague answer, not wanting to explain too much. I just said I wanted to keep Aunt Linda company after her recent surgery. Dad booked me on the earliest flight the next day, and I packed my bags overnight to prepare to leave. As I was heading out, I unfortunately ran into Jacob’s mom in the driveway. She enthusiastically rolled down her car window: “Emily, why are you alone? Isn’t Jacob picking you up? “Didn’t he say he was taking you to Cancun for spring break? Have fun you two!” I was a bit confused. During the most stressful part of senior year, I had indeed mentioned to Jacob that I wanted to see the blue seas and skies of Cancun, Mexico. But how could we possibly travel together now, given our current situation? But my Uber had already arrived, so I just said a quick goodbye and left. What I never expected was that at Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport, I would actually run into Jacob.
After half a year apart, when I saw Jacob again, we had both changed quite a bit. He was even thinner, had dyed his hair, but of course still looked as handsome as ever. I’ve never been good at reading people, but my aesthetic sense has always been on point. Otherwise I wouldn’t have known to follow him around like a puppy since I was little. I was only stunned for a brief moment before I smiled and greeted him casually. “Hi Jacob, you’re here too.” Jacob’s hand froze in mid-air as he was reaching for my luggage, looking at me in disbelief. Since we were little, both sets of parents had repeatedly told me to call him “big brother Jacob” many times. I had stubbornly refused to ever call him that. Now with a different mindset, it came out naturally. But Jacob seemed to have a hard time accepting it. It was a long time before he finally took my luggage with shaking hands. Mom whispered an explanation in my ear. “We came out to pick you up and happened to run into Jacob at the entrance. He insisted on coming along to help.” I smiled and gestured that it was fine. In the car, I couldn’t wait to share all the recent interesting stories from school with my parents, making them laugh non-stop. No one paid attention to Jacob, but from the corner of my eye, I noticed his lips curling up in a secret smile the whole way. That day he seemed to want to come sit at my house for a while, but all three of us politely declined together. The entire winter break I was out early and back late every day to practice driving, and in the evenings I was always out with some high school friends. I heard Jacob came looking for me a few times, but we always missed each other. I was a bit surprised, not thinking there was anything we needed to talk about. This year my grandmother and aunt had come back for the New Year. On New Year’s Eve, the house was especially lively. After the New Year’s Eve dinner, the older folks were watching the Spring Festival Gala on the couch, while the younger generation was learning to play mahjong. But Jacob’s family of three suddenly showed up at our house with bags of gifts.
“Our house is too quiet, mind if we join in for a game?” Jacob’s mom joked with a smile. In previous years, our two families had always spent the Spring Festival together. This year, because of my relationship with Jacob, my mom had declined his mom’s invitation to have New Year’s Eve dinner together. But when guests show up at the door, you can’t just turn them away. Jacob naturally sat down next to me, watching me play mahjong. My cousins didn’t know about the situation between Jacob and me, and kept teasing us. I laughed it off and clarified each time. Jacob’s expression soured a bit. When we went out to set off fireworks at midnight, he grabbed my hand, seeming to want to say something. But my phone suddenly rang. My face reddened a bit as I pulled my hand away from Jacob’s and stepped aside to answer the call. It was a classmate from Florida named Jack who I had met through a student club. He was very good-looking too. Not the cold, aloof type of handsome guy, but more of a funny, goofy boy who loved to laugh. He talked a lot and was full of jokes. He often made me laugh so hard I couldn’t straighten up. He said he called because he was bored being alone and wanted to count down to the new year together with us. I didn’t think much of it and didn’t hang up since it was New Year’s. I let him participate in our New Year’s countdown ritual remotely. Just before hanging up, he chuckled. “Actually, I just wanted to be the first person to wish you Happy New Year after midnight. “Happy New Year, Emily.” I smiled happily and wished him well too. We chatted for a while longer, and when he was finally willing to hang up, I turned around to find Jacob standing behind me with an icy expression. I don’t know how long he had been listening. “Boyfriend?” he asked hoarsely. “Not quite yet,” I replied honestly after thinking for a moment. “…” Jacob was silent for a long time. I thought he had nothing more to say and was about to head back to the living room to continue playing mahjong. But he suddenly spoke up again, “Out-of-state guys aren’t necessarily reliable. It’s better to find someone local who you know well.” I nodded. “You’re right, you never truly know someone. I’ll keep evaluating him. “Thanks for the advice, Jacob. You should settle down soon too.” Jacob looked like something had stabbed him in the heart. He didn’t say anything else and left the yard directly. I didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t the first time he’d thrown a tantrum. Before, when I had rose-colored glasses on, I thought everything about him was perfect. But now… After that, I accompanied my grandmother and parents to visit relatives and then went on road trips. I barely stayed at home. I didn’t run into Jacob again either. The winter break was short, and soon I was back at school. But the next day, I actually saw Jacob at the university gates.
🌟 Continue the story here 👉🏻 📲 Download the “NovelMaster” app 🔍 search for “296235”, and watch the full series ✨! #NovelMaster #现实主义Realistic #浪漫Romance #重生Reborn #校园School
Leave a Reply