I stared at my baby brother Lucas, who was just learning to speak. I knew that not far away, there were child traffickers waiting for their chance. Hearing the piercing cry of a child, I felt disoriented. “You deaf girl! Take your brother out to play!” my mom Karen yelled. My lips trembled as I pinched myself hard. The pain made me shudder. Mom impatiently pushed me, her familiar curses filling the air. “I really gave birth to a useless girl. Always pretending to be dead when there’s work to do.” Suddenly, I snapped back to reality. Turning my head, I saw my small reflection in the glass window. I had been given a second chance at life! Glancing at the calendar on the wall, I instantly realized what day it was. I carried Lucas out, trying to organize my thoughts. Loan sharks, debt collection, falling from a building. I bit my lip and looked at Lucas, who was curiously looking around. Did I hate him? Of course, I did. In those few seconds of falling from the high-rise, I had cursed this family with all the malice I could muster. I was supposed to get married in just a few days, finally escaping this suffocating quagmire. Instead, I died in an abandoned factory, becoming nothing but rotting flesh for flies and ants. I took a deep breath. The overwhelming resentment made black thorns grow in my heart, my eyes gradually turning frantic. I remembered this day very clearly. It was on this day that we encountered child traffickers. I went to buy Lucas an ice cream, but he was lured away by someone with a lollipop. I was terrified, but I was smart enough to ask adults around for help. In the end, Lucas was saved, but he was traumatized and cried non-stop when we got home. Lucas was already two and a half years old, but he had been spoiled rotten by our mom. He would cry and throw tantrums at the slightest dissatisfaction, speaking one word at a time. “…Hit…Me…Hurt…” Mom’s eyes widened in anger. She grabbed a belt and beat me half to death. “You little beast, he’s your brother! How dare you hit him! Why don’t you just die!” I curled up, crying out, “I didn’t! It was bad people, bad people tried to grab him!” “You little beast, still lying! You’re the worst thing in our family. How did I give birth to such an ungrateful creature?” I cried until my voice was hoarse, crawling to the edge of the bed. “Lucas, Lucas, tell mom I didn’t hit you!” But Lucas seemed amused by the scene and started giggling. Lucas suddenly laughed as if he had seen something interesting. The child’s innocent laughter overlapped with my dark memories. My whole body tensed up. The sudden fear almost made me throw him away. I trembled all over. I didn’t know if it was because of hatred or excitement. — The ice cream stand was just around the corner. Two men wearing old-fashioned hats were crouching not far away. Once again, I stood at this crossroads of fate. Sure enough, Lucas spoke up. “Ice… eat… eat.” I lowered my head. “Does Lucas want ice cream?” Lucas nodded. I felt my blood boiling, turning my brain into mush. I walked towards the ice cream stand. Lucas was left behind. I couldn’t see him, but I could clearly feel his small figure. Gradually shrinking, blurring, falling into a haze. I took the ice cream from the vendor, shuddering at its cold touch. If Lucas disappeared… I wouldn’t have to live like a dog in this family anymore. I wouldn’t have to support a family of bloodsuckers. I wouldn’t be chased by debt collectors to the point of jumping off a building. I should have had a great life. I stared at the ice cream, unconsciously gripping it tightly, my eyes as red as blood. “Hey, hey, girl, you haven’t paid yet!” the vendor called out. The scorching July sun shone on me. But I felt like I had fallen into an ice pit. I threw away the ice cream and ran back like a madwoman.
Lucas was gone! My mind went blank, as if a heavy snow had fallen. Stumbling, I found the bicycle repairman and cried out, “Bad people, they took my brother!” With the memory of my previous life, I led people directly to the alley entrance. The repairman and onlookers subdued the kidnappers, and I took Lucas back. As soon as I removed the cotton cloth stuffed in his mouth, he burst into earth-shattering cries. Holding him, I was also in tears. I wanted to change my miserable life. But the awakening of female consciousness should not come at the cost of sacrificing humanity. This time, I didn’t run home immediately like I did in my previous life. I wiped away my tears and went to the police station with the repairman and others. I was very calm when giving my statement, focusing on comforting my crying brother throughout. When the statement was done, Lucas had cried himself to sleep. I asked the repairman to take us home. The repairman praised me the whole way. “Oh, you little girl, you’re so brave. You’re made for great things.” “If it weren’t for you today, your brother would have suffered.” “These damn child traffickers are worse than animals.” I smiled awkwardly, choosing to remain silent. Little did he know, I had almost become an accomplice to these inhuman creatures. Back home, Mom started yelling before she even saw us. “You useless girl, coming back so late. Were you slacking off? Come here and wash the clothes right now.” She hadn’t finished scolding when she saw the sleeping Lucas in my arms. She rushed over with an “Oh my!” “What happened to Lucas?” She was anxious and heartbroken. “Did you, you little brat…” “Mom, you’re disturbing Lucas,” I said. Sure enough, Mom shut up immediately. She glared at me fiercely. I ignored her and carried Lucas into the room. If I didn’t know how to handle her by now, I would have lived these two lives in vain. The repairman would help me sort out the rest. But I needed to think carefully about what to do next. During dinner, Mom scolded me for being a jinx, saying I shouldn’t have taken Lucas there. I ignored her words, focusing on eating. Lucas sat in Mom’s lap, letting her feed him, showing none of his usual tantrums. He ate whatever she fed him, being so obedient that Mom could hardly believe it. After dinner, I cleaned up the messy table as usual. Lucas, who never wanted to move and always demanded to be carried, came over and looked up at me. “…Sis…Sis…” Mom happened to pass by and exclaimed with delight, “Lucas can call people now?” Since Lucas learned to speak, he had never called anyone Mom or Dad. He rarely spoke because whenever he wanted something, crying was enough. I didn’t expect his first time calling someone would be dedicated to me, the “useless girl.” The joy on Mom’s face instantly disappeared. She spat at me. “You useless girl, always teaching my darling bad things. Stay away from your brother in the future, you hear me?” I carried the bowls into the kitchen, the corner of my lips curling up. “Okay.” When it was time to sleep, Lucas started fussing again. “…Sis…Sis…Want…” He cried his heart out. Mom was heartbroken and angrily questioned me. “What kind of spell did you cast on him? Why does he only want you?” I looked innocent. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because he was scared earlier today, and I happened to be by his side.” Lucas would cry if he was away from me. Despite her extreme reluctance, Mom had no choice but to compromise. The plan was successful. Lucas and I faced each other. Mom had once worried that her only precious son might have some intellectual disability because he started speaking late. But I knew he was actually very smart. When he was little, he loved to snatch my things. A stone, a wildflower, a card, no matter how well I hid them, he could always find them. If I didn’t give them to him, he would cry and make a scene in front of Mom. Invariably, I would end up being beaten severely, kneeling on the ground apologizing, and handing those little things to him. I slightly narrowed my eyes, watching Lucas’s ingratiating face. Before dinner, I changed his diaper. I moved very slowly, brainwashing him for an hour. “See, today you didn’t listen to your sister and stay put, so bad people caught you.” “If you dare not listen to your sister again in the future, bad people will beat you to death.” My tone was gloomy, unable to suppress the hatred mixed in. “Just like… how Mom beats your sister, they won’t stop, they’ll keep beating and beating…” Living beings instinctively fear dangerous things, and with the addition of force, they choose to submit. Young ones are the same. He seemed to sense the genuine malice in my words. His eyes darted around, and he reached out for me to hold him. From tonight, when he cried and insisted on sleeping with me as I had instructed. I understood.
My life would change completely. In a different way. “Lucas, what did your sister tell you?” He had just started first grade and was dejected as he returned the broken water gun to someone else. I was very stern: “Lucas, apologize.” Lucas was very unwilling, even looking at me with some hatred. But I didn’t back down. With my height advantage and adult presence, I forced him to finally speak up. I went to his classmate, gritted my teeth, and took out all the pocket money I had saved from selling bottles. “I’m sorry, we’ll buy you a new one.” I patted the chubby kid’s head and said softly: “Sister will buy you candy. Please forgive Lucas, and can you play with him in the future?” The chubby kid hesitated but nodded. Lucas grumbled unhappily: “Who cares about playing with them.” This little brat. With Mom as a strong negative influence. I spent five whole years and still couldn’t correct many of Lucas’s bad habits. When I first started educating him, I encountered many obstacles. Lucas and I agreed that if he made a mistake, he would have to eat bitter melon. Every time I forced it to his mouth, Lucas would scream and yell, attracting Mom. But he never dared to say it was my fault. Before he was three years old, I had imprinted in his DNA that he must absolutely obey his sister’s words. Just like a baby elephant tied with a rope, even when it grows up and can easily break free from the rope. It doesn’t have this awareness, and I don’t allow such things to happen. Over these five years, I constantly reminded myself. Never let Lucas become like he was in my previous life. On the way home, I remained silent. Lucas glanced at my expression. “Sis, the backpack is so heavy.” After Mom discovered that I could teach Lucas to speak, she very reluctantly handed him over to me to take care of. But she still constantly reminded him, instilling the idea that everything of his sister’s belonged to him, and that his sister was just a lowly girl. But she acted too late. When it comes to brainwashing, how could an ignorant illiterate like her compare to me? The child I had already set on the right path couldn’t be ruined by her again. Seeing that I wasn’t responding to him, Lucas became anxious and ran in front of me. “Sis, I was wrong. Don’t be angry. Don’t make me eat bitter melon.” If it were Mom, she would definitely say: “It’s all those little bastards’ fault. My darling is always right. Mom will buy you cake, and we won’t play with them anymore.” I looked at him coldly. “What did you do wrong?” “I shouldn’t have snatched the toy from Chubby just because they wouldn’t play with me.” I gave him a light tap on the head and said sternly: “Remember this, be kind to others, and also—” I suddenly raised my voice: “Never be greedy for things that don’t belong to you, do you hear me!” In my previous life, Lucas ended up in trouble because he was greedy for enjoyment and too vain. After Lucas became sensible, I rarely scolded him harshly anymore. He was startled by me and stood at attention, trembling as he repeated: “Don’t be greedy for things that don’t belong to me.” “I remember, Sis.” As time passed, Lucas entered middle school. One night, Dad came home drunk again. He often did this, so at home, Mom was the one who called the shots. “I and some friends… are planning to… open a brick factory,” I heard Dad say as I was going to get water for washing feet. My hand shook, and some water splashed onto my shoes. This brick factory was my lifelong nightmare. Dad was fooled and lost everything. From that moment on, I fell into another hell. “You’re a woman, what money could you possibly spend?” “Hurry up and give me five thousand dollars. Didn’t you earn quite a bit? What’s wrong with contributing to the family?” “What do you mean you have no money? You’re just selfish, watching your parents starve outside while you eat and drink well.” “Your brother is in a relationship. Buy him a house.” “If you don’t help your brother pay off his debts, you’re ruining his life!” From age fifteen to thirty-five, I supported these bloodsuckers for twenty whole years. They clung to me tightly, sucking the marrow from my bones, draining every drop of my blood. During those twenty dark years. They were happy, enjoying themselves. With vicious smiles, they watched me struggle desperately in the quagmire. I trembled all over, my face pale, as the long-absent feeling of panic engulfed me. Lucas passed by: “Sis, what’s wrong?” I suddenly came to my senses, as if grasping at a lifeline. “Lucas, Dad’s business will fail. Mom listens to you the most, quickly stop them.” Lucas listened to me very well, and there was another reason— I could “predict” things. Over the years, I had foreseen many big and small family matters in advance, so Lucas had a mysterious reverence for me. Lucas frowned: “Sis, how should I say this? They won’t listen to me about this kind of thing.” I dragged him into the room. “Lucas, listen, Dad will not only lose everything, but he’ll also end up with a crippled leg.” I was almost hysterical: “Go quickly, use whatever method you can.” “We must not let Dad get involved in this!” My expression was too ferocious, scaring Lucas stiff, but he had no choice but to go. I slid down against the door, covered in cold sweat.
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