I have a scar on my chin that extends down to my neck. It’s a remnant from a childhood accident when Lucas threw a firecracker that exploded near me. His mother dragged him to apologize, and he planted a kiss on my bandage. “Sophia, I’ll take responsibility for you,” he said solemnly. Ever since then, I’ve been terrified of firecrackers. Fortunately, Lucas, the “culprit,” would always be there to cover my ears. He promised, “Sophia, don’t be afraid. Every New Year’s Eve, I’ll be right behind you.” Years later, under a sky full of fireworks, he kissed the company’s new fireworks designer. I watched from afar, the scar on my chin burning with a dull ache. The day I discovered Lucas’s affair, I happily went to his office to bring him lunch. In the elevator, I carefully hid the pregnancy test results under the lunchbox, planning to surprise him later. When I entered his office, a well-dressed young woman was sitting there. As soon as I walked in, their intertwined hands quickly separated. “Hello, I’m Emma, the new fireworks designer. I was just discussing some details with Mr. Thompson,” she said with a smile. There was a design sketch between them, with colors so beautiful it seemed unreal. “I’ll leave you two to talk,” Emma said as she left the room. After she left, Lucas pulled me into his arms, habitually caressing the scar on my chin. “Why did you come suddenly without letting someone pick you up?” I didn’t respond. He picked up the design sketch again. “Do you like it? It’s for your 23rd birthday gift.” I love watching fireworks but I’m terrified of the explosive sounds. Lucas built an amusement park for me and even constructed a private viewing platform where I could see the best fireworks without being too close to them. Our love story was featured on the park’s website homepage, attracting many visitors. “I’ll set them off for you on your birthday, okay?” he said, kissing my forehead. “I need to go inspect the park now. You should head home first,” he added, as if on cue, there was a knock on the door. “Mr. Thompson, we need to leave now,” came a voice from outside. I let go of his hand, and Lucas called a cab for me. “Driver, could you turn around and go to Starlight Amusement Park instead?” I asked once I was in the car.
This amusement park was Lucas’s proposal gift to me. “Sophia, I’ll watch fireworks with you for the rest of our lives,” he had promised. Those words still echoed in my ears, but now all I could think of were those intertwined hands I had seen earlier. I took out a mirror from my bag, seeing the scar deeply embedded in my skin, a part of me now. I easily made my way through the employee entrance to my private viewing spot, which was messily decorated with string lights and flowers. Lucas came running from behind, out of breath. “Sophia, didn’t I tell you to go home and rest? Now you’ve seen the surprise early.” I reached out to wipe the sweat from his forehead. “Why are you in such a hurry? I just felt cooped up and wanted to take a walk.” “Alright, you go back to your work. I’m heading home,” I said. Lucas breathed a sigh of relief as he watched me walk away. What he didn’t know was that I had already seen the security guard’s large-print chat window. “Mr. Thompson, your wife is heading towards the viewing platform.” I wandered around outside for the rest of the day, timing it so I would arrive just as the fireworks show was starting. I bought a full-price ticket to enter the park. Unlike what I had seen at noon, the viewing platform was now beautifully decorated. The new fireworks designer, Emma, was standing with Lucas. They looked just like a couple celebrating their anniversary at the park. As the fireworks exploded, I covered my ears. Lucas pulled Emma into his arms and kissed her lips the next second. The two kissed passionately. The fireworks became a romantic backdrop. And so did I. “Lucas, thank you for preparing all this for me,” Emma said softly. Lucas’s face was full of tenderness. “This park was built for you. Isn’t your dream to let more people see your fireworks?” My heart sank, and the family pass card in my hand dug into my palm. Emma giggled playfully. “Wasn’t it built for Sophia?” “Look at her, does she deserve it? I have a responsibility to her. Her face was disfigured because of me, and no one else would want her besides me.” “Such beautiful fireworks should be paired with a beauty like you.” Lucas’s words felt like knives stabbing into my heart. With shaking hands, I started recording. “If Sophia knew, wouldn’t she be furious?” Emma asked. Lucas was silent for a moment, then poked Emma’s forehead. “Then let’s not let her know for now. Be careful at the company too. I can’t divorce her right now.” “The company is at a critical point, and the park needs the fairy tale story between Sophia and me.” Emma gave Lucas a satisfied kiss. “Then tonight…” Lucas smiled suggestively, picked Emma up in his arms, and walked towards the park’s hotel.
Sitting in the taxi, I played the recorded video over and over again. “Look at her, does she deserve it?” “Who else would want her besides me?” “You don’t know how disgusted I am every time I see her face.” “After slowly distancing myself from her for a few years, she’ll get tired and beg me for a divorce.” “In this love story, she can only be the one at fault.” In the hotel, Lucas was carrying Emma to the top floor. Fighting back tears, I called Lucas. “Hello? Sophia? What’s wrong?” he answered. Tears streamed down my face as I could hear Lucas’s suppressed breathing. “Sophia, go to sleep first. I had a few drinks today and I’m afraid I’ll smell of alcohol if I come back. Be good, okay?” He hurriedly hung up the phone, cutting off Emma’s coquettish voice. I cried uncontrollably. All these years, he had seen me as a burden, a flaw in his perfect reputation. The amusement park he built didn’t belong to me, the fireworks he set off didn’t belong to me. Even he had never belonged to me. I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the full-length mirror. The long scar extended from my chin to my chest. Right to my heart. Every time my heart beat, the tail of the scar moved with it. Every time in bed, Lucas would passionately kiss this scar. From top to bottom. “Is it ugly?” I had asked Lucas more than once. His response was always more intense movements. “Sophia isn’t ugly. This scar is the red thread of fate tying us together.” I thought we were in love. After that incident, Lucas followed me around for many years. Even my mom said, “Lucas is a kind-hearted, loyal boy.” In high school, many people mocked my scar as ugly. Some even gave me nasty nicknames. But Lucas never did. He would hold me in his arms when others bullied me. He would repeatedly emphasize that I was the most beautiful girl in his eyes. After getting into college, Lucas confessed to me with our acceptance letters in hand. “Lucas, my face is fine now. You don’t need to be with me out of guilt.” Actually, I felt insecure, but he pulled me into a small alley. He gently kissed the scar. “Sophia, do you really think I’ve been close to you all these years just because of guilt?” My heart sank, and I took the initiative to kiss his lips.
Lucas was handsome and had good grades. In college, he had more and more admirers. I personally saw a curvaceous junior shyly hand him a love letter. I also heard rumors about us around campus. To be worthy of him, I secretly made an appointment for plastic surgery. This scar was too long, so long that it reached my heart. When I was about to enter the operating room, Lucas rushed over and took me away. “Sophia, please don’t get plastic surgery, okay?” He said this scar was my psychological barrier. Even if it was removed, I would still be bothered by it. Only when I truly adapted to it would I have let go and forgiven him. He cried pitifully with red-rimmed eyes. I really believed that in that accident, not only was I hurt, but Lucas was too. Now I understand that Lucas wasn’t guilty at all. He needed me by his side to showcase his loyalty and devotion. I wrapped myself in a blanket, unable to sleep all night. At dawn, the door lock turned. Lucas walked to my side and tucked me in. “Did I wake you?” he asked. Lucas leaned in and kissed my forehead. I could clearly smell the shower gel on his body. There were faint red marks on his neck. All declaring their wild night. “Look what I brought back for you,” Lucas said. Lucas took out a basket of soup dumplings, my favorite. “Fresh out of the steamer. I went to queue up early in the morning.” I put one in my mouth, but the soup inside was already cold and had a fishy taste. It made me nauseous, just like Lucas. I couldn’t help but spit it out. Lucas anxiously patted my back. “Why are you feeling sick?” As if remembering something, Lucas tentatively asked, “Sophia, did you take your medicine these past few times? You’re not… pregnant, are you?” I shook my head in denial. Lucas let out a long sigh of relief. “The company isn’t stable right now. When I’m ready, we’ll have a child.” He spoke sincerely. If I hadn’t witnessed it myself yesterday, I would have been moved by the future he described.
Lucas leaned in and pecked me on the corner of my mouth. “Rest well at home. The new project has been keeping me busy lately. When it’s over, I’ll take you on a trip.” After Lucas left, I threw the basket of dumplings into the trash and wiped my mouth corner vigorously with a tissue. Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. What I thought was a perfect love had ultimately turned into a bubble. I had Human Resources pull out Emma’s file. It showed that she had been interning at the company since before graduation, for a full six months now. For six whole months, the company had been their sanctuary. “Jasmine, Lucas is cheating on me,” I sent the message to my best friend, then collapsed on the sofa. Only about twenty minutes later, Jasmine appeared at my doorstep. “What happened?” she asked, panting and pouring herself a glass of water. “Who’s cheating? Your devoted husband?” I let out a cold laugh. Lucas’s act was so perfect that he not only fooled me but also the people around me. Seeing my swollen eyes, Jasmine’s shocked expression turned solemn. She pulled me into a hug. “Cry if you want to. Let it all out.” “That bastard, acting all proper usually, turns out he’s only good when he’s nailed to the wall!” I clung to Jasmine and vented my emotions. When I was tired of crying, I curled up in a corner, staring blankly. “What do you plan to do now?” Jasmine asked worriedly. “Whatever decision you make, I support you.” I touched my belly, thinking how this child came at such an inopportune time. “Jasmine, I’m pregnant.” Hearing my words, Jasmine grabbed a kitchen knife and was about to go find Lucas. I stopped her, smiling more painfully than crying. “It’s okay. Luckily, I found out early. Come with me to the hospital.” Lying on the operating table, tears flowed along my scar to my neck. I could feel the child flowing out of my body. Lucas called me the next day. “Sophia, why aren’t you at home?” “Jasmine is sick. I’m staying with her at the hospital for a few days.” Lucas casually told me to take care and hung up the phone. Jasmine came back with takeout lunch. “You’re in postpartum recovery now. Don’t cry. Eat up and get your strength back. Then we can go beat up that scumbag.” In the obstetrics ward, children’s cries filled the air. Thinking of my child who never had a chance to be born, tears fell into my soup. “It’s so bitter.”
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