That summer when I was 18, I found Tyler barely alive in a dirty alley. Twenty years later, in another summer, he wanted a divorce, abandoning me and our 12-year-old daughter. His idealized first love, Rachel, clung to his arm with a triumphant smile: “See? After all these years, he still chooses me without hesitation.” Heartbroken and disillusioned, I finally agreed to the divorce. I burned my wedding dress and threw away the ring he had chosen for me. I wished him and Rachel eternal happiness and true love. But later, he pinned me against the wall, our breaths intermingling, his eyes filled with regret as he said he had made a mistake. Many people said I, Lily, was lucky and blessed. I was an orphan who ended up with a good life and a great husband. My husband, Tyler, was considered by everyone to be an excellent man. As for me, I was just a barbecue stand owner, always smelling of smoke and grease. I was truly punching above my weight. I used to think I had hit the jackpot too. I remember that year when I was 18. My grandfather and I were closing up shop and heading home when we found a half-dead man in a filthy alley while taking out the trash. Grandpa, being kind-hearted, helped me bring him back home. The man had a gentle demeanor, his every gesture showing he wasn’t from our working-class background. But he had nowhere else to go. Later I found out he was actually the young master of the Tang family. His family had gone bankrupt, and he was being hunted by rivals. He had barely escaped to our neighborhood, where I happened to find him. Love often starts unexpectedly and grows deep. We let him stay, and mutual feelings developed between us. We got married and had a daughter, as if it was meant to be. I’m 38 now, no longer with the graceful figure and pretty face of my youth. He, on the other hand, has become more mature and charming. What comforts me is that I wasn’t wrong about him – he’s still as good to me as ever. Everyone says I have good judgment and luck, but only I know he has an idealized first love he could never have. One night, I heard him moaning in his sleep, his brows furrowed, his expression panicked. “Rachel, don’t leave me. I promise I’ll marry you…” My hand froze as I was about to cover him with a blanket. I immediately went online to search for that name. Rachel, the youngest daughter of the Ruan family, now a big celebrity. Beautiful and passionate, she was Tyler’s childhood sweetheart before the Tang family went bankrupt. When I came back to my senses, tears were already falling down my face. That year, our daughter was 3 years old. Daily chores had already left fine lines on my face. I gritted my teeth, struggling internally, but life had to go on. Perhaps their feelings had faded with time, just a lingering obsession from their youth. I tried to comfort myself. If only I hadn’t seen his unsent letters.
Grandpa was getting old, so I took over his barbecue business. In recent years, it’s been growing steadily, as if blessed by good fortune. With Tyler’s help, I used my savings to buy a storefront. Tyler would come help out when he had time. He started a small company, getting back into his old line of work, showing signs of making a comeback. One day I finished work early and returned home, unexpectedly seeing an unsealed envelope on his desk. The words inside were full of love for Rachel, the humble tone making my heart ache. “My beloved Rachel: How are you? I have so much I want to tell you, only words can express my love. Lately, I often fantasize about chasing the sunrise with you. I dreamed of that summer years ago…” “Just thinking of your name makes my heart surge like a tidal wave. My body may have been defiled, but my heart has always remained pure for you…” “I will definitely succeed, Rachel. Wait for me.” My heart felt like it was being squeezed, so sour I could barely breathe. Sorrow welled up, tears hanging at the corners of my eyes. I remembered when Luna had just started elementary school. She came home saying her language teacher had written many poems and love letters for her husband, and they were very loving. I looked at Tyler expectantly, but he just held me in his arms, saying our love didn’t need flowery words to decorate it. As long as I could see his true heart, that was enough. But now, the hundreds of envelopes in this study felt like slaps to my face. So it turns out Rachel was worth it, and I wasn’t. My legs went weak, and I slid down against the desk. Luna heard the noise and came to find me in the study, throwing herself into my arms: “Mom, what’s wrong?” “Mom, don’t cry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have played on my phone in secret.” Luna had grown taller, her eyes looking just like her father’s. Luna wasn’t wrong. I was the one who was wrong. I was wrong to hold onto false hope, thinking I could keep him. I was wrong to overestimate myself. It turns out all these years of love were fake. So what were Luna and I to him?
I was silent for a long time. Tyler acted the same as before, coming to help at the store when I was busy. People who saw him would envy me, saying how lucky I was. In the past, I would have been overjoyed, happy for a long time. But now when I heard those words, they just sounded grating. One day he sent me a message saying a friend wanted to discuss using my store as a filming location. Unlike his usual one-word replies, his message seemed very excited. Before I could refuse, I saw a woman enter the store at night, surrounded by an entourage. She was dressed low-key but couldn’t hide her air of nobility. Afraid of being recognized, she wore a mask and hat, and brought several assistants and bodyguards. She covered her nose in disgust, looked around, and zeroed in on me. Then she carefully walked over. “It’s so dirty. My shoes have wool soles. One pair could buy your whole store.” I looked down at the floor. I had just finished cleaning, but they had tracked dirt in again. “So you’re Lily.” She looked me up and down, the contempt and disdain clear in her eyes. She only needed to give a look, and her assistant understood, handing me a contract and explaining their purpose. “I don’t agree.” “Didn’t Tyler tell you? Don’t be ungrateful!” She seemed surprised I would refuse her, giving me a disdainful look. My refusal didn’t matter anyway. Tyler had put up more than half the money for this barbecue restaurant. I knew I couldn’t refuse, but my heart was heavy, a bitter taste in my mouth. When we got married, Tyler promised me that I was his lifesaver, that he would never let me down or force me to do anything, that he would always stand by my side, and even… love me forever. Now I no longer dared hope for his love, but I still remembered his promises. Now he had agreed on my behalf, sending me a message telling me to be good and listen. He said this was a chance to make big money. How could I not know that? I tried to act like the lady of the house, but now it just seemed ridiculous. I was supposed to be Tyler’s wife. The assistant was already pressuring me to sign. I could only give in. The group came in a grand procession and left the same way. As they were leaving, I heard someone say: “What a dump. Poor Rachel having to film here.” It was actually very clean. I looked at the new footprints they had left, raising my hand to wipe away the tears on my face.
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