I died the year I loved him most. He said he could let go of his fortune, and he did. He stayed with me as we perished in the flames. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself back ten years ago. We had just gotten married, and I despised him. I rushed to his company, saw him for the first time, and choked out, “Jasper, I’m sorry.” After a brief pause, he looked calm, “Tell me, how do you plan to hurt me this time?” 1 When the final explosion happened, I remember Jasper didn’t make it out. Always immaculate, he knelt by my side and said, “Lydia, don’t be afraid, I’ll stay with you.” He was 38 that year. A billionaire who just let it all go. He stayed with me as we perished in the flames. … On a midsummer evening, the sunset outside the window was like blood. A stifling hot breeze blew inside. I awoke from a dream, sitting dazed on the bed. The clock in the corner ticked, the calendar lay quietly on the table. “Madam, Mr. Jasper called earlier, said he won’t be coming home tonight.” Mrs. Taylor’s voice came from the living room, calm and peaceful. I looked down at the brand-new wedding ring on my finger. Closed my eyes. I had truly gone back ten years. The blazing fire before I died, and the warm, strong embrace, felt so real. In the last moment, Jasper was still telling me, “Lydia, don’t be afraid, I’ve waited too long for you in this life, in the next life, I’ll find you early.” Was this a dream, or reality? I pinched myself, a dull pain came from my thigh. The honking outside the window jolted my chaotic thoughts awake. After the shock, a continuous heartache and bitterness followed. An orchestrated misunderstanding made me hate Jasper for many years. During this time, his competitors did everything to suppress him. Making it hard for him to breathe. At home, I was cold to him, so he rarely came back. Jasper’s parents died early, and he had no relatives. Guarding a commercial empire alone, he spent half his life. Later, the misunderstanding was cleared up. We had half a year of happiness, and even had a child. But before I could tell him about the pregnancy, I died unexpectedly. … “Madam, the flowers have been delivered, are you leaving?” Mrs. Taylor came in to ask me. “What?” My mind was still in a state of chaos. “Flowers, aren’t you going to see Mr. Beckett?” Beckett… Hearing this name suddenly, I was stunned. A tangled mess suddenly had a thread. So it was this day. 2 Beckett was my childhood friend. Also a very talented actor. Unfortunately… an “accident” left him severely burned all over, requiring long-term hospitalization. In the previous life, on this day, I took a bouquet of flowers to the hospital. Spent Beckett’s birthday with him, came out of the hospital, saw Jasper sitting in the car, the cigarette in his fingers burned to the end, yet he was unaware. I didn’t want to explain anything, didn’t even want to see him. “Ning Ning.” Jasper noticed me, extinguished the cigarette, got out of the car, his tone desolate. “…Today is my birthday.” I stopped, looked back at him coldly, “So what?” His dark eyes looked at me, saying nothing. I said, “Today is also Beckett’s birthday. To marry me, you used unscrupulous means, ruined his face, broke his future, what more do you want from me?” Jasper opened his mouth, futilely said, “That was just an accident…” “If you hadn’t invited him that day, he wouldn’t still be lying in the hospital. How do you expect me to believe that was an accident?” Jasper was silent, finally said to me, “I’m sorry.” From that day on, my relationship with Jasper plummeted. We began a long and torturous cold war. Later, I found out, that “accident” even Jasper thought was one, was just a plot by some to drive a wedge between us. 3 “The things have already been loaded into the car for you, if you leave later, you’ll hit traffic.” Mrs. Taylor came back to remind me. Outside the window, the sun was half-set, the light dim. I snapped out of it, hastily put on a jacket, and got in the car. Because I suddenly realized, this was ten years ago, everything was still possible. The driver merged into traffic, “The road to the hospital is already blocked, should you call Mr. Beckett and let him wait…” “Not going to the hospital.” I watched the ever-changing traffic lights outside the window, changed my mind, “To the company.” … Actually, I don’t have much impression of Jasper’s company. When I was young, I hated him, never visited once. Later, when I loved him, he was targeted by enemies, surrounded by danger, I didn’t dare to find him. So now, standing at the foot of the towering office buildings, I felt a bit lost. Which one was his office building? Passersby curiously glanced at me: holding a huge bouquet, dressed exquisitely, with makeup on, like a girl ready to confess. Uncomfortably, I pulled out my phone, brought up Jasper’s number. His full name, not even an emergency contact. I pressed the call button, thinking I would have to wait long. But after two short rings, it was picked up. A cool, distant voice came from the receiver, “What’s up?” Hearing his voice again, my eyes suddenly felt hot, my voice choked involuntarily. “Jasper, where’s your office? I can’t find it…” Passersby looked at me even more strangely. A woman who couldn’t find her husband’s office, standing on the curb, wailing. Jasper seemed to be in a meeting, he paused slightly, said, “Let’s stop here for today.” Then he said to me, “Stand on the sidewalk, I’ll come down.” A few minutes later, Jasper walked out of the office building. His tall figure cut through the neon lights, impeccably dressed, dignified. In contrast, the reflection in the mirror showed my eyeliner running down with tears, like the protagonist in a horror movie. Damn, all ruined. “Why are you here?” His tone was very light, almost cold. I turned back. The tall, handsome man was looking at me coldly, his pupils reflecting my messy face, his expression slightly stiff. No matter when, Jasper was always impeccable. Like a flower blooming on a cliff, pure and untainted. “I’m sorry,” I lowered my head, not daring to look at him, “I disturbed you…” “Today…” he only said two words, didn’t continue. I knew what he wanted to say. Today I should be spending Beckett’s birthday with him, not appearing here. This did remind me. I shoved the flowers into his arms, mumbled, “Happy Birthday.” A long silence. I sneaked a glance at him, found him staring at the bouquet, not looking happy. After a long time, he curled a bitter smile, “Lydia, is it what he didn’t want?” “What?” I realized his mood was off, my gaze suddenly fell on the bouquet, my heart sank. Oh no! Frozen blue roses. The floral message is: giving you the stars and the sea. Beckett’s favorite, also the stars and the sea. When I woke up, my memory was too chaotic, I was just focused on finding Jasper, neglecting these details. “I’m sorry, I—” “Thank you for the birthday gift.” Jasper’s tone was almost stiff, “It’s late, let the driver take you home.” He turned and walked away. I quickly grabbed his coat hem, “Wait!” Jasper didn’t expect me to do this, didn’t stop his steps, pulling me to stumble, crashing hard into his back. The back of his tailored suit bloomed into colorful flowers. Jasper turned back, stared at my fingers, silent for a long time. I was stubborn, said, “Jasper, I’m not going back.” He looked serene, “Lydia, how do you plan to hurt me this time?” 4 This question was really hard to answer. In memory, at this time, Jasper and I had just gotten married, I was having a conflict with him. I was 23, he was 28. The quarrels were almost one-sided from me. I’d say the harshest things, even gifts on holidays were meant to stab his heart. I was like the boy who cried wolf, after crying wolf too many times, he didn’t believe me anymore. Remembering the last life, after the misunderstanding was cleared, my method was quite direct and crude, just pouncing on him was enough. This man, despite looking cold, was surprisingly easy to coax. But this method might not work now. Moreover, Jasper had suffered too much hurt and grievance, I wanted to make amends. Thinking it over, I said, “Let me treat you to a meal.” Jasper lowered his eyes, said coldly, “No need, I have work tonight.” “Then order takeout!” I thickened my face, followed him, “I’ll order you something special.” Jasper said nothing, didn’t even acknowledge me. That bouquet, he still held tightly in his hand. Passing by a trash can, I thought he’d throw it in without hesitation, but he didn’t. Followed him all the way, into his office. It was empty. A cold lunchbox was tossed on the desk. Untouched. Was he planning to get through tonight like this? An inexplicable heartache, I opened my phone, ordered him some food. Clear soup, less salt, no green onions. With tomato beef brisket and a few vegetarian dishes, all not spicy. Before, to accommodate me, Jasper would order very spicy food. Later I found out, he had a bad stomach, too spicy, oily, salty food wasn’t suitable. After ordering, I sat on the sofa, not knowing what to say. Anything seemed inappropriate. Jasper was unwrapping the flower’s packaging, intending to put it in a vase. The icy blue roses stung my eyes. Without thinking, I went over, snatched them, and threw them in the trash. Clear soup with less salt and no scallions. For the side dishes, I’d like tomato beef brisket and some mild vegetarian dishes. In the past, Jasper would always order bold-flavored dishes for me. I later found out he had a sensitive stomach and couldn’t handle spicy, oily, or salty foods. After ordering, I sat on the couch, not knowing what to say. It felt like anything I said wouldn’t be right. Jasper was unpacking the flowers, planning to put them in a vase. The icy blue roses stung my eyes. Without thinking, I walked over, grabbed them, and tossed them into the trash can. He paused, looking at the blood bead on his pricked thumb, and sighed wearily, “Lydia, haven’t you had enough?” “No.” I suppressed my frustration, annoyed at how he seemed so meek without any temper. “Forget it. If you don’t like them, I’ll buy you something else.” Jasper took out a tissue, pressed it to his wound, and with a slight droop of his eyes, said in resignation, “Never mind.” I ignored him, picked up the trash, and said, “Wait here.” Then hurried out. On a summer evening, the roadside was filled with vendors selling flowers. But compared to the florist’s expensive bouquets, the quality here was a bit lacking. I rushed around a few stalls, bought all the red roses, and bundled them together with simple wrapping paper. Just then, the Uber Eats arrived, and I carried the large and small bags upstairs. The 19th floor was even quieter than when I first came. Most of the employees working overtime had left. Only Jasper’s office had a small light on. I quietly pushed the door open and entered. He stood with his back to me, looking out the floor-to-ceiling window, his silhouette lonely. The heavy bouquet and takeout box made a thud against the door. Jasper’s back stiffened, and he turned around abruptly, seeing me almost crushed under the weight. “Hey, why are you just standing there? Give me a hand!” I panted. He seemed surprised that I had returned, but after a brief moment of shock, he quickly came over, took the bouquet and takeout box with one hand, and used the other to support me onto the couch. I took a breath, sweating, but still smiled, “For you, I bought all the roses on the street.” Jasper’s handsome face went blank for a moment. Great, now he seemed unable to adapt to the way I treated him. Does he need to be scolded to respond? Seeing him about to eat the cold takeout box again, I exclaimed. Jasper looked over immediately, and I caught a fleeting trace of nervousness in his eyes. I leaned back on the couch, raised my chin, and said impatiently, “Can’t you eat something warm? Watching you eat takeout annoys me.” Jasper: “…” For the next half hour, the office echoed with my complaints. “Do you even know how to eat?” “Can’t you see such a big piece of beef?” “Not eating vegetables? You’re too old to be picky!” “You just slurp the noodles, I didn’t buy them for decoration.” After my determined efforts, a steaming bowl of noodles was finished. I worried Jasper hadn’t eaten enough, so I added two small buns and even gave him the Osmanthus cake I had brought for myself. If I keep nagging like this every day, how am I supposed to live? I talked until my mouth was dry. Suddenly, a glass of water was handed to me. I looked up to see Jasper staring at me, “Moisten your throat before continuing to scold.” His expression softened a lot, though his eyes remained deep and dull, but at least they weren’t cold and guarded. I resisted the urge to hug him and said, “Jasper, let’s live well from now on.” Hearing this, he averted his gaze, silently tidied the dishes, and didn’t directly respond to my words. “Get dressed, I’ll have the driver take you home.” “But I just got here…” He quickly opened the door and went out, as if escaping something. After all, collecting trash isn’t something a CEO should do. To say I wasn’t disappointed would be a lie. Having been reborn, why did it feel that coaxing this man had become even more troublesome… I sat on the couch, planning the next step. Should I just pounce on him, or should we share our feelings first before doing so? A sudden ringtone interrupted my thoughts. Absentmindedly, I answered. On the other end was a distant yet familiar voice. “Ning Ning, where are you?” My originally cheerful mood plummeted, remembering this person still existed. “It’s you…” My tone wasn’t particularly enthusiastic. Beckett’s voice was gentle, “I’ve been waiting for you for a long time. Didn’t we agree to celebrate my birthday together?” Thinking of everything that happened in the past life, my fingers tightened little by little until my knuckles turned white. “Beckett, we’re… childhood friends, right?” Beckett sensed something was off and corrected me, “Ning Ning, we’re family.” “Family.” I repeated the word, then suddenly asked, “Don’t you have something to tell me?” He paused, sighed, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have eaten the cake without telling you.” See, why is it that the people you care about can lie and joke without a care? While Jasper has to stand behind, enduring everything? I felt cold all over, unable even to force a smile, “I have something to do today, so I won’t be coming. Happy Birthday.” After hanging up, I took a deep breath, feeling stifled. I remembered the call Beckett made before I was kidnapped, asking where I was. I fell into deep thought. He was the person I trusted the most, but what if, from the start, the explosion was a crime perpetrated by someone familiar? Looking up, I saw Jasper standing at the door, his profile hidden in the shadows, expression unreadable. I hesitated for a long time, then asked, “Did you… hear all that?” “Yeah.” “I—” “Let’s go.” His tone was calm, as if suppressing something, “The car is downstairs.” I opened my mouth, unsure of how to explain what would happen in the future. Afraid he’d think I’m crazy. I followed him out, guilt churning inside me. “Jasper.” He slowed his steps slightly but didn’t turn back. “That was Beckett calling,” I spoke quickly, “I did agree to celebrate his birthday yesterday, but today I’m different, I’m from the future—” Jasper suddenly stopped, turned, eyes icy, “Enough.” He closed his eyes for a moment, calming himself, “The meal was good today. I’m glad you could spend my birthday with me.” I stared at him, seeing the pain deep in his eyes. Jasper’s lips were pale, every word like it came from someone in deep agony, trembling as they spoke, “So in the end, you want to go to Beckett, I understand. Because that’s the price.” In the past life, Jasper once told me that every kindness I showed him required a greater pain in return, so he never dared to hope for anything and was always prepared for my departure. These words now felt like a knife, piercing my heart.
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