There were still seven days left until my due date when Tom Grimes got up in the middle of the night to catch a flight. The reason? His childhood friend, who was studying abroad, was feeling down during her period and wanted to eat the pasta he made. I clutched my sore back and asked him if he really had to go. I was scared to be alone. “I’ll be back in no more than three days. It’ll be fine. Don’t overthink things,” he reassured me. An hour later, my water suddenly broke. “Stop messing around, Sara. I’m about to go through security. Get some sleep.” He hung up without waiting for my response. From that moment on, my baby didn’t have a father. ***** I took deep breaths, trying to stay calm. I lay flat on my back and called an ambulance. Then I phoned my brother, Harry Bains, who should have been asleep, and nearly hung up before he answered. “What’s wrong, Sara? Are you in labor?” he asked with concern. I burst into tears, unable to speak for a while. When my mom gave birth to me, she passed away due to complications. My dad was busy with his business and later remarried. I was raised by Harry, but I had said many hurtful things to him to be with Tom. He had been frustrated with me, telling me he wouldn’t care for me anymore. In the ambulance, I gripped his hand and apologized. “Don’t be afraid. I’m here,” he said softly. My labor progressed very slowly. Even oxytocin didn’t help much, and my amniotic fluid continued to decrease. After five hours of pain, I ended up needing a cesarean section. My daughter was born. The doctor placed her on my chest, congratulating me. She said it had been a long time since they’d seen a baby with such thick hair. I laughed and cried at the same time. The baby’s health was all that mattered. Tom and I had named her Elizabeth Grimes, with the nickname Bella. Now, her name was Elizabeth Bains. She was my daughter, raised by me alone. I slept until the afternoon, then checked my phone to see that Tom had updated me. He’d landed and was at Isabel Olsen’s house. There were two phone calls in between. Then he asked if I had woken up yet, whether I’d eaten, and if I was still angry. Isabel had posted a picture online: pasta with fried eggs and sauce on top. The caption read: [I’m so happy. Who understands? My bad stomach can’t handle such deliciousness.] Tom commented: [You’re exaggerating.] Isabel replied: [Love you!] Harry asked me what I wanted to eat. I showed him the picture, saying I wanted the same. Tom called again. I took a deep breath before answering. “Sara? You finally picked up. You’ve been ignoring me. I was so scared,” he said. I didn’t say anything. “Are you still angry?” he asked. Isabel’s voice then came over. “Sara, don’t be mad at Tom. It’s all my fault. I didn’t expect him to come over. I thought I was so hungry I started hallucinating. “By the way, I bought a gift for Bella, plus some small clothes. Perfect for Tom to bring back.” Tom laughed, looking a little helpless as he told her to move away so she wouldn’t get flour all over his clothes. He said, “We’re making sandwiches. She just ate some pasta and is already thinking about the next meal.” Isabel chimed in, “My sandwiches look better than yours.” Tom replied, “Let’s see who’s better.” They bantered with each other. Tom laughed happily, sounding much livelier and more childish than when he was with me. “Honey?” he called out. I responded, “Hmm, I’m listening.” “How’s the baby? She didn’t give you any trouble today, right?” I sneered, “No, she’s very well-behaved.” He sighed with relief, “That’s good. Don’t make jokes like that again. I know it’s the hormones affecting your mood.” “Yeah, you guys go ahead. I’m going to eat too,” I replied.
I called Harry and told him I wasn’t going to have pasta anymore. I wanted sandwiches made by him. He chuckled, “Sure, little princess.” The nurse handed me my daughter, and I gently touched her nose. My heart melted as I said, “You’re also the little princess. From now on, you’re stuck with your uncle for life, okay?” The next day, Harry helped me get out of bed and walk around. The pain from my wound made me tear up. I noticed his sadness and joked, “When you get married and have kids, you’re probably going to cry your eyes out, huh?” He tapped my head. “No way.” Back in the hospital room, I saw a message from Tom. It said that it was snowing in his city. The flights were grounded, and he couldn’t make it back. Tom: [Sorry, darling. I didn’t check the weather forecast, and I don’t know how it ended up snowing so heavily overnight.] I looked out the window at the bright sunshine and lush green. It felt like we were living in two parallel worlds. Without me around, he might have had a happier life with Isabel. Tom and I were both graduate students in the same department. He was a year ahead of me and was my senior. I fell for him at first sight and made the first move. He was cold and distant, so I kept chasing him relentlessly. Six months later, we were together, keeping our relationship secret until he graduated. Harry once said that Tom only agreed to be with me after learning about my family’s financial situation. I didn’t want to listen to that. Tom said he loved me, and I believed him wholeheartedly. I secretly asked Harry to help invest in Tom’s startup. After the celebration dinner, Tom was drunk and started babbling nonsense, “I made money now. You can study abroad wherever you want. I’ll support you. I’ll never let you suffer again.” Harry sarcastically asked when I had decided to study abroad. I couldn’t answer him, because it was Isabel who planned to go abroad. It was just drunken talk anyway. They’d grown up together, and their bond was strong. I told myself that it was normal. I loved him and wanted to be with him. The next day, when he was sober, I asked him if he wanted to marry me. He looked surprised and asked if I had let something slip the night before. He had already bought a ring and was planning to propose. Harry and I got into a huge argument. In the end, he sighed, “Fine, do whatever you want. Don’t come crying to me afterward.” I replied to Tom’s message: [It’s fine. You should spend more time with Isabel over there anyway. You two haven’t seen each other in a while.] Tom: [Thanks, darling. I was just thinking that after you give birth, you’ll need people around, so I rushed over to see Isabel.] It was true I needed people—doctors, nurses, the confinement nanny, and Harry. But I didn’t think he quite counted as people. He asked a few more questions about the baby, and I assured him she was doing well and there was no need to worry. Bella clutched my finger, babbling baby talk. I didn’t realize I was crying until my tears fell onto her clothes. “You’re not crying, but I am,” I said with a smile. “Sweetheart, I’m not as strong as you are.” The nanny grabbed a towel to apply a warm compress to my eyes. “You shouldn’t cry like this during your confinement. If your eyes get ruined, that’s a lifetime problem.”
Three days after giving birth, I still had no milk. Harry said the formula was better and that it would make things easier for me. I cried again. Tom wanted to video call me to show me the snow scene and the snowman they built. I told him I was eating with Harry, so he gave up. Tom: [With Harry there, I feel a lot more at ease. You’re about to give birth, and I’ve been so worried.] I scoffed. He hadn’t been worried about me when he had left. I’d already seen the snowman on Isabel’s post. The two of them had rolled around in the snow, their faces and noses flushed red. Their smile was bright. Last winter, when it snowed, I bought some molds online and happily placed a row of ducks in front of his car. He casually smashed one of them, saying, “You’re 27. Isn’t this childish?” That night, I couldn’t sleep. While I deleted the photos, Isabel sent me a video. It didn’t have any visuals, just their voices, sounding like they’d been drinking. Isabel asked, “If I had been braver back then, would we be different now?” Tom said, “Isabel, there’s no ‘if’.” Isabel replied, “Didn’t you say you’d celebrate my birthday early? My wish for this year is for you to answer this question.” Tom said, “Maybe. But Isabel, no matter what our relationship is, I’ll take care of you for the rest of my life, as long as you need me.” Isabel choked up, “I do need you.” There was the sound of fabric rustling, and the progress bar reached the end. The next second, she withdrew the video. The need from a childhood friend weighed heavier than a wife in labor. Late into the night, Tom suddenly sent me a message: [Honey, I love you, I miss you and Bella.] I laughed at his hypocrisy. Four days after giving birth, I was discharged from the hospital and moved into a confinement center. It wasn’t the one Tom and I had booked, but the one Harry found for me, which was even better. Tom wanted another video call to see the baby, but I told him the phone’s camera was broken. “Okay. When I get back, I’ll buy you a new one,” Tom said. “What did you do today?” “Sleep,” I replied. He asked why I seemed down and why my voice sounded so lifeless. I couldn’t help but sneer. Of course, I wasn’t as happy as them, reunited after a long separation. Now, just hearing his voice made me feel disgusted. But I savored this feeling, almost masochistically. The more miserable I felt, the less shaken I would be. “I just didn’t sleep well,” I replied. “Did Bella keep you up again?” His tone was full of concern. “I have a flight tomorrow morning, but I’ll be there by tonight, hopefully without any delays.” “Tom, are you ready?” Isabel called out. Tom hummed to her and told me, “Isabel and I are going to go out for a while. Is there anything you want? If it’s a bag or cosmetics, I don’t know much about those, but you can tell Isabel.” Before I could answer, Isabel snatched the phone away. “Hey, Sara, what do you want? Send me a list, and we’ll make him spend big.” “No, I don’t want anything,” I replied. “Tom, just come back early.” Tom laughed and asked, “Miss me?” Tom’s flight was delayed by another day, and he managed to get back just a day before my due date. The timing was perfect, and he was proud of it. “Has the baby moved yet?” “No, it’s still sound asleep.” “I’ve called a cab. I’ll be home soon.” I took my time washing my hair and having some afternoon coffee before slowly answering Tom’s call. “Sara, where are you? What’s going on at home? Did a thief break in?” he asked in a panic. Harry had taken all my and the baby’s things, and he had broken everything that could be smashed. “I don’t know what happened,” I replied. He seemed to realize something. “Sara, didn’t you say you were no longer angry? “Where are you now? At Harry’s place? I’ll come over right now to apologize in person. How about that?” “No, it’s not okay,” I refused. “Honey, I’m sorry. You’re about to give birth. Don’t be stubborn. It’s not good for you or the baby,” he urged. “You still remember I’m about to give birth?” He grunted in pain, as if having bumped into something. “Sara…” He sounded helpless. “Please, tell me where you are. You can hit me or yell at me. Just let me see you. I’m really worried.” “Aren’t I talking to you just fine? What’s there to be worried about?” I sipped my soup. “I’m not even angry with you.” “Sara Bains, can you stop talking like that? I’m trying to communicate and solve the problem with you,” he sulked. I chuckled, “Right, solve the problem. Tomorrow, Harry’s lawyer will contact you. I’m going to divorce you, Tom.” “What? Divorce?” He still thought I was just being emotional. “Honey, please, stop joking. You’re pregnant and about to give birth. Let’s talk about other things once the baby is safely born.” I hung up the phone. Harry came over after work and said that Tom had gone to his company to find him. Tom had first gone to our neighborhood but was stopped by the security guards at the gate. I smiled and said, “Then you’d better be careful. Don’t let him follow you here.” “Don’t worry. Even if he finds it, he won’t be able to get in,” he replied. Tom refused to sign the divorce agreement and nearly punched the lawyer. After his outburst, he begged Harry to let him see me. He insisted that I could go into labor at any moment and that he needed to be with me. Harry gave him a solid punch, and I could even hear flesh hitting flesh through the phone. I asked Harry to hand the phone to Tom. “Bella, are you full?” Bella babbled a response. “Sara…” Tom was shocked. “She…” “I told you. My water broke,” I replied.
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