On our fifth wedding anniversary, Liam promised me the grand wedding he’d always wanted to give me. He said he deeply regretted not giving me a ceremony back then, and that I would be the most beautiful bride. But on our wedding day, he got a text message and rushed off. I chased after him, stumbling in my heavy wedding dress. He only offered a rushed comfort: “Avery, something really important came up at work. I have to go.” His lies were pathetic, so clumsy, but I didn’t even have the energy to call him out. Because I had cancer. And I didn’t have long left. Liam didn’t know I’d received the message before he did. I was sitting in front of the vanity mirror, my phone buzzing with a SnapChat notification. I opened it to see the text: “Avery, I won’t bother your life anymore. Are you satisfied?” My heart hammered in my chest. Before I could even react, I saw Liam glance down at his phone, then his face went pale with panic, and he dashed out. He was always so composed, so in control. I’d never seen him like this. As I rushed after him, I almost tripped over my skirt, crashing into the doorframe. My knee stung, a sharp, burning pain. He didn’t even look back. He just slammed the car door shut, leaving that one flimsy excuse hanging in the air. For this wedding, I’d chosen a strapless mermaid gown, despite the chilly autumn weather. I just wanted my life to be beautiful, just once. And he left me there, alone, with all our invited family and friends. For a moment, I wanted to flee, to run away immediately. I was so exhausted. I didn’t want to deal with the mess he’d left behind. He was the one who promised me a surprise. He was the one who filled me with hope. And he was the one who abandoned me here. But I looked at their expectant faces. We weren’t a fresh young couple just going through the motions. We’d been married for years, and we’d carefully invited only our closest circle – less than six tables in total – a mix of friends and family from both sides. My old college roommates and close friends from work were sitting inside. They’d traveled from far away, just to indulge my sentimental heart. I stiffly turned, changed into something lighter, and went to greet them one by one. Liam’s buddy, Mark, joked, “You two are still playing games, huh, Avery? A wedding five years later! Don’t forget to invite us to your silver and gold anniversaries!” I smiled and promised him I would. But I knew in my heart there wouldn’t be any more anniversaries. Even if I lived that long, my marriage with Liam wouldn’t last. My best friend, Chloe, rubbed my hands. “Why are your hands so cold? And where’s Liam?” I forced a smile. “Oh! He’s busy. Work called him away again.” She squeezed my hand tight. After more than a decade, we knew each other too well. Meeting her gaze, I nearly lost it, tears threatening to spill. I didn’t want anyone to see how upset I was, but my mind was a chaotic mess. Finally, after settling everyone, I collapsed onto a chair, utterly drained, unable to say another word. Then my mom suddenly called, launching into a furious tirade: “Are you completely heartless? Your sister is dying, and you still have the nerve to throw a wedding?” I didn’t even have the strength to stand up, listening calmly as she ranted. It took me a moment to piece together what she was saying: Selena had an episode, slit her wrists on the school rooftop. It took all my effort to find my voice. “Didn’t the groom already rush off to save her? What more do you want? Should I just… kill myself to appease her? Will that make her better?” There was one more thing I didn’t say: *I don’t have long to live anyway. You’ll be satisfied soon enough.* But I didn’t want them to know. I didn’t want to see any of them in my final days. “What are you talking about? Your own husband couldn’t stand it! Your sister, who grew up with you, is dying, and you have no reaction whatsoever? How can you be so cold-blooded?” My mom continued to yell. She didn’t know that my throat was burning just from trying to speak. I choked back a cough and hung up, looking at myself in the mirror. I looked like a ghost. Whenever Selena was involved, I lost. She always won. She could effortlessly snatch everything from me, every single time. Selena was my aunt’s daughter. After my aunt and uncle died in a car accident, she came to live with us. From that day on, I heard the same line every single day: “Selena’s already so miserable! Why do you always have to fight her? Can’t you just let her have this?”
That evening, Liam came back, looking utterly exhausted. I was tending to the wound on my knee. Honestly, I was too tired to even bother, but it looked pretty bad, and even the slightest inflammation could cause me immense pain now. It could lead to further complications, widespread inflammation. I numbly continued to treat it. I actually hated pain. Every day, falling asleep was a battle. Since college, I’d suffered from severe anxiety. When it flared up, I’d vomit and suffer from insomnia, my mouth raw with acid after each bout. Liam glanced at me, then stopped midway to the bathroom to shower. He saw the bloody gash on my knee. “What happened? How did you get this? Can’t you be more careful?” I didn’t answer him, just focused on my wound. I didn’t really want to talk to him anymore. He slowly sat down beside me, reaching out to take the gauze. I looked up, my gaze cold. “Avery, I’m so sorry! Today was a real accident, please don’t be mad at me, okay?” His eyes looked so sincere. If the truth hadn’t been staring me in the face, I would have fallen for that look again. “Liam, let’s get a divorce. I’m just… so tired.” I didn’t want to look at him, dropping my gaze back to my knee. As soon as I finished bandaging it, he suddenly pressed against me, pulling me into a tight hug. Perhaps it was the panic of a guilty man. He squeezed me so tightly, he brushed against my wound. I hissed, and he slowly released me, kneeling in front of me, looking genuinely remorseful. “Avery, we’re going to have so many anniversaries. That word ‘divorce’… please don’t say it so casually. It hurts.” “Liam, this afternoon was the last bit of dignity I gave you,” I said, meeting his eyes, my gaze unblinking. He froze, then his expression contorted into one of frantic panic. “Avery, it’s not what you think, really. The situation was just too urgent, I had to rush over, but I didn’t dare tell you directly. I was just afraid you’d misunderstand, I…” Liam, for the first time, was stammering. “Liam, what are you so afraid of? Am I that terrifying? Or is it that you’re all afraid I’ll bully Selena, and now you’re afraid I’ll bully you?” I laughed, a bitter, humorless sound. “Avery, you’re too emotional right now. I don’t want to argue.” He dodged the question, retreating into the bathroom to shower. I ignored him, went into the study, and closed the door. The moment it clicked shut, I felt my hands trembling. I lay in bed, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling. I was perpetually exhausted, but sleep rarely came. I only managed three or four hours a night. Honestly, I should have realized the truth a long time ago. Selena was his vibrant red rose, the indelible mark on his heart, the one he could never truly let go of. When I met Liam, he had already broken up with Selena. He never showed me photos of his ex-girlfriend. All I knew was that the relationship had caused him a lot of pain, but I never knew his ex-girlfriend was Selena. We both silently agreed not to mention it. It wasn’t until after we officially got married and went home for the winter holidays that Selena happened to be back for the holidays too. Selena was there that day, and it was the first time I saw Liam panic. A woman’s intuition told me something was terribly wrong. I wanted to ask Liam about it, but every time I brought it up, he’d cut me off, saying the past wasn’t pleasant and only brought unhappiness. And after the holidays, Selena went abroad to study the violin, which she loved. My parents even sold our house and moved to the countryside to support her. I couldn’t quite describe the feeling back then. It had always been like this, ever since I was little. Selena could take expensive music lessons, while I couldn’t even afford tutoring. I’ll never forget the look on my mom’s face when she learned Selena was continuing her studies. She was beaming with pride, saying she never imagined our family would produce a musician. Liam was beside me then. He squeezed my hand tightly and said, “In my eyes, my wife is the best.” He really was good to me. He let me look at his phone, gave me his bank cards. He was everything you’d read about online, the ‘perfect’ husband. I had a poor appetite, so he specifically learned to cook, making me dinner every day after work. In the evenings, we’d walk hand in hand. Those days were simple and pure. I thought it would last forever. Then Selena came back. She hadn’t become a famous musician. She suffered from severe depression. Her arms were crisscrossed with scars, self-inflicted with an eyebrow razor. My mom held her, sobbing uncontrollably, a complete wreck. She came to find me, her face gaunt and pale. “Avery, I regret it. Can you give Liam back to me?” The whole thing felt utterly absurd. She acted like Liam was just another one of the things I’d always given up for her – like a dress, a toy, a room, or even just a snack. She was used to me always stepping aside the moment she opened her mouth. I ignored her, simply thinking she was crazy. She had been with Liam before; she was the one who told me herself. I still remember that New Year’s Eve, fireworks bursting everywhere. For the first time, she acted really close to me, saying she wanted to watch the fireworks with me, pulling me outside. Liam stayed inside, playing cards with the older folks. Selena kept pulling me along, walking endlessly. ***截断点***
We walked so far, to a bench in a park. She pulled me down beside her and talked about the past, sighing, “Avery, I can’t believe you, who was so small back then, are married now.” I was speechless for a moment, unsure what to say. Then, she suddenly changed her tone. “Avery, you’ve always hated me, haven’t you?” “Say something!” I truly didn’t know what to say. “You hated me so much that you had to marry Liam, simply because he was once my boyfriend.” As soon as she said it, she was sobbing uncontrollably. Fireworks exploded in the sky. She leaned back against the bench, the light reflecting off her face, showing countless tears. It was the first time I’d ever seen Selena cry like that. In that instant, my hands and feet went cold. She was Liam’s ex-girlfriend? We had only been officially married for less than a month! Heaven help me, if I had known they were together, I would have run as far away as possible. But I didn’t know! Liam had come into my life, telling me how much he liked me. He had been there for me through my toughest days. “I didn’t know you two were together,” I finally managed to explain. She glanced at me, said nothing, and just walked away. A few days later, she left to pursue her music dream. Before she left, she sent me a text: “You’ve given in to me so many times. I’ll let you have this one.” I clutched that text message and had a massive fight with Liam. What did she mean, ‘let me have this’? If Liam couldn’t let her go, he should just stay with her. I’d just admit I’d chosen the wrong person. Liam yelled it was all a huge mistake, that he was being unfairly targeted. He showed me his phone. “Avery, you can’t do this to me. I don’t even have her on SnapChat. I didn’t know about your relationship.” “What would you have done if you knew about our relationship?” “I would have gotten with you sooner, hidden from her, and closed my eyes so I wouldn’t even see her.” He closed his eyes as he spoke. His antics made me laugh, and he quickly pulled me into a tight hug. In the following years, Selena genuinely didn’t appear in our lives. I even almost forgot about it. Until she finished her studies and came back, utterly exhausted, looking like a wilting rose – even more delicate and heartbreaking. Selena complained about feeling cold every day then, perhaps also because she came back in winter. My mom was so worried, it was like she’d aged years, her hair turning grayer by the day. I even introduced her to some doctors I knew. But then I saw the way Liam looked at her. I couldn’t lie to myself anymore – how could you hide that look of deep concern for someone? It felt like a needle piercing my heart, the pain so sharp it stole my breath. I confronted him. He lost his temper for the first time: “Enough, Avery! She’s already like this, what more do you want? Why are you making a scene?” His words made tears stream down my face, and he quickly rushed to comfort me. “I’m so sorry, Avery, I really didn’t mean to yell at you. We’ve been together for so many years; don’t you trust me?” I managed to push it away for a moment. All those years, all that companionship… it made me cling to a delusional dream, deceiving myself. Later, he went on a business trip to a remote area, and returned right around New Year’s. We went together to give gifts to my parents. Without me knowing anything, I watched him pull out a small bag of saffron and hand it to Selena. “Locals say this tea helps with the cold.” Then, under her astonished and grateful gaze, he produced a small good luck charm. “They say this also brings peace and protection.” I remained silent the entire time, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu, like I was back many years ago. My parents would always buy Selena a huge pile of gifts whenever they went out, while I could only watch with longing eyes, like a dog begging for scraps. On the way home, Liam tried to hold my hand, but I kept struggling. Then I noticed he’d placed a large, sparkling ring on my ring finger at some point. I was surprised. He gently pinched my cheek. “Is my little Avery getting jealous? The saffron was for your mom, she asked me to get it. And the good luck charm was just a thoughtful extra. They thought your sister was under some kind of bad influence.” “But the ring… I chose this one myself, I spent ages finding it. With me, you’ll always be safe and sound,” he said. He was always so charming when he said sweet things. I stared blankly at the massive, pigeon’s-egg-sized ruby ring. He suddenly kissed my forehead. “Avery, let’s have a wedding. I’ve always been so sorry I couldn’t give you one.” Our eyes met. In that moment, I genuinely believed that everything before was just my imagination, that he truly loved me. Suddenly, tears welled up and streamed down my face. He quickly wiped them away, asking what was wrong, his expression like a child who had made a mistake. In that moment, I desperately wanted to tell him. During his business trip, my insomnia had gotten worse, and I was vomiting constantly, feeling utterly miserable. At first, I thought it was good news, and happily went to the hospital to check. But the doctor, seeing my continuous vomiting, recommended a full body scan. When I received the diagnosis, I truly couldn’t believe it. How was this possible? I was so young. How could this be happening? I went to several more hospitals, but received the same devastating result each time. I pulled out my phone, wanting so badly to tell him, but I couldn’t calm myself. I couldn’t even face my own reality. I didn’t know who to tell, or how to say it. The doctor asked why I hadn’t come earlier. I told him it had been like this since college; I’d vomit whenever I felt anxious. He sighed. “Young people are under too much stress these days.” Back in college, my mom was funding Selena, so she literally had no money left for me. She only paid my tuition. Every day, she’d send me messages, call me, telling me to work hard, to “be realistic” about our family’s finances. Sometimes I’d get texts at six or seven in the morning, asking if I had a part-time job, if I was earning money, if I could get a scholarship. She said she was so anxious, that the family could never save money, and what would happen when they got old? I asked her why she was still funding Selena’s expensive music lessons then. She got angry and snapped, “Why are you always so petty? Why can’t you just let Selena be? She finally has a dream; shouldn’t she be supported?” “What about me?” “What more do you want? I already put you through college! Are you trying to kill me with stress?” She wanted Selena to live the life she desired, at the expense of my own survival, but she never saw that as a problem. She’d only say, “I gave birth to you, I raised you – what more do you want from me?” Every day, I worried about my living expenses, how to earn money, how to make my resume look better, how to find a higher-paying job. That’s when I met Liam. He comforted me, understood me. Later, when he started his business, I was by his side, traveling everywhere with him. To save money, we’d buy the cheapest bus tickets, spending twenty-plus hours practically standing. He bought two small stools, and we’d sit huddled together, him shielding me from the crush of the crowd. He’d whisper in my ear, “I’ll make sure you have a good life.” But now… my days are numbered.
Liam didn’t know that on the night of the wedding, as I walked past a nearby jewelry store, the name felt oddly familiar. Almost as if compelled by an unseen force, I walked in. I showed the sales associate the large red ring on my ring finger and asked about it. She was a very young sales associate, her face flushed as she spoke. “Oh, this ring? Just last Sunday evening, we were almost closing, and a gentleman rushed in right after getting off a plane to buy it for his wife.” “He must really love his wife, otherwise why would he be in such a hurry?” “Or was he in such a hurry because he’d done something wrong?” I murmured softly, not sure if I was asking her or myself. She froze, looking awkward. I turned and left. *Of course,* I thought. *That’s why he suddenly bought a ring. He bought gifts for everyone else on the way home, but forgot me. Maybe he bought it because he felt guilty, and it was an expensive way to smooth things over.* All my previous warmth and gratitude felt utterly ridiculous. Those nights, I was terrified countless times. I wanted to tell him, tell him about my illness, to find some warmth that wasn’t even there, but it was just my own wishful thinking. I lay in bed, numbly shedding tears. The door suddenly opened. Liam pinned me down, kissing my tears. “Avery, what do I have to do to make you stop overthinking?” A fierce wave of nausea surged up my throat. With a strength I didn’t know I had, I violently pushed him away, rushing to the bathroom to throw up. He looked utterly humiliated. “Avery? What are you doing? Can’t I even touch you anymore? How could you treat me like this?” I ignored him, collapsing weakly to the floor. When I finally found the strength to stand, I splashed cold water on my face. “Let’s get a divorce. I’m serious.” He tossed a tissue at me, then turned. “You’re dreaming!” I watched his back as he fled in a panic. “You will,” I muttered to myself.
I went to the hospital for a pain injection. I couldn’t even swallow pain pills anymore. Then I went directly to Selena’s hospital. I simply walked into her room and sat down. She immediately became incredibly agitated, ripping out her IV, blood gushing everywhere, and screamed at me, “Avery, what do you want? Can’t you just leave me alone?” I said nothing, just quietly peeled an orange. After finally finishing, I realized I couldn’t eat it anyway. I was already on a liquid diet. There were so many things I wanted to taste, but I couldn’t even do that. I held out the orange to her. “Want some? It should be sweet.” I wished I could taste it, even if it was sour. Selena’s agitation only intensified. She swatted the orange from my hand, sobbing uncontrollably. My mom stormed in, carrying a takeout bag – a meal for Selena. The dishes looked eerily familiar, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it. She raised her hand and slapped me across the face. “What did Selena do to you? Why do you keep hounding her?” My nose started bleeding, a steady stream. I just looked at the blood on the floor, saying nothing, then stood and walked out of the room. My mom chased after me, wanting to say something. Finally, she grabbed my arm. “Avery, what’s wrong? Are you getting sick? Why have you lost so much weight lately?” “What’s it to you?” “I’m your mother!” she snapped. “Oh, really? I don’t believe you,” I said, a smile breaking through my tears. My tears came too. But she cried even louder than me. “I’m your mom, what do you want me to do? Can’t you try to understand me, too?” “I named you Avery – ‘knowing intent’ – you used to be so understanding, so considerate when you were little. What happened to you now?” I couldn’t listen anymore. Perhaps it was from eating so little, but my head was spinning. I fled the hospital like a ghost. But as long as Liam didn’t sign the divorce papers, I would keep coming back here. Let’s just torment each other.
Liam rushed back. I was staring at the mushy, overcooked porridge, my head aching from the sheer effort of trying to swallow it. I’d managed a few spoonfuls, but threw them all up. I drank some sugar water, forcing it down. “Avery, what exactly are you doing?” He struggled to keep his voice low, trying to control his anger. “Could you cook me a bowl of noodles?” Liam was an excellent cook; his noodles were especially delicious. But he hadn’t cooked in ages. I couldn’t remember if it was because he was too busy with work or for some other reason. I had been on a liquid diet for so many days, drinking everything through a straw. For some reason, I just really wanted noodles—the kind Liam made. I’d tried many restaurants, but none tasted like his. I knew I wouldn’t be able to swallow them, but just smelling them would be enough. “She’s already in such a state, please, just leave her alone, okay?” he pleaded. His words were like a knife, twisting raw in my bleeding heart. I remembered back when our love was at its peak, I’d told him he was my closest confidant. I truly believed that then, but I never expected that period of closeness to be so brief. “Divorce me? Then I won’t go near her.” I insisted stubbornly. “You’re utterly unreasonable!” Infuriated, he turned and left, the door slamming shut behind him. Liam once said he’d never let me regret marrying him. But I did regret it. I also couldn’t understand why I wanted a divorce so badly when I only had a few days left anyway. But every time I thought about those days, it made me sick. Do people really change so suddenly? How could he do this to me? How could he? Why did I lay my heart bare only to have it trampled on? They all seemed to delight in crushing me. Can’t I just… escape? I insisted on visiting Selena every day. Anyone who didn’t know us would truly think we had a deep sisterly bond. And then I finally realized whose food she was eating. Selena caught my gaze on her food and challenged me, a taunting glint in her eyes. “Want some? Liam made it. It’s the only thing I can stomach these days.” For the first time, I almost lost it right there in front of her. I hadn’t even left the hospital when Liam called. His voice was laced with irritation. “Avery, please stop this. Selena is sick.” “Divorce me! Then I’ll stop,” I replied, repeating the same words. I reached the crosswalk, a desperate urge to just… step in front of a car. But then a thought flashed through my mind: that wouldn’t be fair to anyone. Everyone’s struggling. I couldn’t just create more trouble for others, even in death. I stepped back, watching the teeming crowds, cars rushing by. My mind was filled with images of Liam cooking for Selena. The irony was suffocating. He always looked so tired, and I’d always been considerate, learning to cook his favorite dishes and waiting for him to come home, even when I couldn’t eat anything myself. I understood his exhaustion, yet he was painstakingly preparing nutritious meals for Selena every day. Liam, how could you? If I had the time, I would take him to court, fight him tooth and nail. But I only had my final days left. Perhaps fate intervened, or maybe Selena finally cracked. That day, I went to see Selena again. We stood at the stairwell, arguing. I envied her how easily she could yell, how much energy she had. My mom had called Liam, and Selena was crying, her face wet with tears. “I really don’t want to see you. Just die!” I remained silent. She reached out and grabbed my arm, shaking me violently. “What do you want?” I turned to look at Liam, my intention clear. Selena was incredibly agitated. She tugged at me, lost her balance, and almost fell down the stairs. Then I saw Liam rush forward in a panic, catching her. I tumbled down the stairs. At the landing, there were some glass shards. I put my hand out to break my fall. *CRASH!* The glass shattered. My white sweater was soaked with blood, my arm covered in glass fragments. There were some on my face too. I must have looked terrible, so ugly. I hadn’t looked good in a long time. I couldn’t even bear to look in a mirror. I was so ugly! Liam rushed down, his voice frantic. “What happened? How did you get like this?” Blood stained my sweater red. Liam tried to pick me up, but I pushed against his chest, fighting back my tears. “Will you divorce me? Please? If you divorce me, I won’t come here anymore.” “I promise I won’t bother you two again.” “Please, divorce me?” I truly didn’t have much time left. I couldn’t afford to wait, I couldn’t delay, and I didn’t want to see Selena. Even more, I didn’t want to see my mom, clucking protectively over Selena like a mother hen.
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