Ex vs. Next: A Heart’s Dilemma

I’d been by Julian’s side for thirteen years. He had a never-ending parade of women by his side, while I lived in a desolate, lonely bubble for years. Everyone said I, a new-money nobody, was out of my mind to even *think* about an old-money dynasty like his. I never uttered a single word in response to their gossip. Until, suddenly, a woman who looked exactly like me appeared by his side – she was about to become his fiancée. A strange calm washed over me. And finally, I blurted out the words I’d held back from Julian for so long: “I want to get married.” He was silent for a moment. “What are you talking about, Harper?” he said. Swallowing the bitter ache in my chest, I looked straight into his eyes. My voice was icy, devoid of any affection. “Not to you.” A cup of lukewarm water hit my face, but it chilled me to the bone. The elegant, high-class woman across from me looked down, watching me. The teacup clattered against the table. “Julian is about to get engaged to Isabella Zhao, the only daughter of the Zhao family. I don’t want anything to jeopardize their wedding.” “I can overlook all the one-sided things you’ve done in the past, but I expect you, from now on…” “Know what’s good for you, and stay far away from him.” … Her words still sliced through me, sharp and clear, echoing in my mind. I jolted awake from my dream, my phone vibrating wildly on the nightstand. I squinted, grabbed my phone without checking the caller ID, and hit the answer button. The other end was incredibly noisy, a mix of music and voices, but the caller said nothing. “Hello?” Still silence. I was so tired, I was about to hang up. Then Julian’s deep voice cut through the clamor, hitting my eardrums directly. “You’re back from your vacation?” His voice was a little hoarse, like he’d just woken up. Three months ago, I’d finally decided to quit my job, but Julian strongly objected. Still, my mind was made up. He ended up taking a roundabout approach, giving me three months off instead. But I was using a roundabout approach too. I’d planned to simply never come back after those three months were up. “…Come find me.” Over the phone, he said that so casually, yet I could sense the simmering emotion underneath. It made my ear tingle. He probably had no idea why I suddenly wanted to quit or why I was drawing a line between us.

I still went. People are strange. No matter how rational I try to be, sometimes I just can’t control myself. Navigating the dimly lit bar, with music vibrating through the floor, I skillfully wove through the crowd and found Julian. I never understood why he always chose the same booth, or why he liked this kind of noisy environment. I saw him sitting in the center of the booth, half-asleep in an uncomfortable position. His lowered lashes cast shadows on his handsome, striking face, making him look quiet and surprisingly vulnerable. Around him, people clinked glasses, laughing and chatting. It was such a lively scene. Yet he seemed so utterly alone. “Julian.” At the sound of my voice, he lifted his eyelids. His gaze cut through the blurred faces and the dim, shifting lights, landing on me. He spoke, his voice still hoarse, “You’re here.” I sighed softly, pushing down the ache in my chest, and handed him the hotel key card. His place was too far, so almost every time he got drunk, he’d end up staying at the same hotel. And he was so stubborn about these things. Like always going to the same nightclub, always sitting in the same spot, and of course, always staying in his usual hotel room. As his executive assistant, these daily chores were part of my job. After three months off, he still assumed I was the same as before. Julian squinted his tired eyes, signaling the woman beside him to take the key card from my hand. As she reached out, the swaying light revealed a face that looked somewhat like mine. My heart clenched. My mind raced, wondering which new “confidante” this was by his side. Out of professional instinct, I offered her a friendly smile, but I didn’t miss the flicker of malice in her eyes. I felt a pang of helplessness, and for a moment, I was lost in thought. He was about to get engaged, yet he was still hanging out with these other women? Mrs. Eleanor had even tracked *me* down, but she hadn’t reined in this ‘confidante’? Handing her the key card, I felt a strange, undefinable mix of emotions.

I sat in the corner for a while. Julian had closed his eyes again, pretending to nap, occasionally leaning an ear to listen to someone talk. The woman beside him sat obediently. The sight was actually quite pleasant. I let out a self-deprecating laugh, grabbed my bag, and got ready to leave. After all, I’d already made up my mind to quit. My presence here today was just a momentary lapse of emotion. Before I could take a single step, a hand suddenly landed on my shoulder. There were always a few clueless people around Julian who’d bump into me. Today, it was another one. A drunk man suddenly leaned in, his eyes raking over me, a light, teasing smile on his face. “Ms. Harper, long time no see?” I narrowed my eyes slightly, unable to place him for a moment. He familiar wrapped an arm around my shoulder, then subtly tilted his chin, gesturing toward the woman next to Julian. “Do you know who she is? The Zhao family’s heiress. Beautiful, from a family perfectly matched with Mr. Julian’s, and so gentle and sweet.” The Zhao family’s heiress? My gaze snapped to the woman, and my heart felt like it was punctured by a needle, deflating, a wave of bitterness spreading through me. I was momentarily stunned. I didn’t notice the man leaning closer, his mouth moving. I could barely hear him: “Honestly, after all these years, you’ve been on call, always putting in the effort, and Mr. Julian has never even truly looked at you.” “Why don’t you… find a new target?” As he spoke, he suddenly touched my hand, his voice laced with insinuation. “Whatever Mr. Julian can give you, I can give you too.” That flirty tone and look almost made me sick. I finally snapped back to reality, just as I was about to pull away. A powerful force suddenly yanked me into Julian’s embrace. Julian’s expression hadn’t changed, but the ruthlessness in his eyes was barely contained. He kicked the man who’d put his hands on me. He simply waved his fingers in the air, not even frowning. Out of the shadows, several hidden bodyguards emerged, dragging the man away. The man seemed to sober up then, crying out in despair, “Mr. Julian! Mr. Julian, please forgive me! I was drunk, Mr. Julian! Please, have mercy!” His figure was dragged further and further away, his voice fading until it completely disappeared into the noisy background music. No one dared to look over, no one dared to stop what they were doing. The music, the lights, the swaying dancers – everything continued. In just a few minutes, it was as if nothing had happened.

My shoulder was aching a little. Julian’s fingers were practically digging into my flesh. He seemed genuinely angry. Years of habit made me instinctively pat the back of his hand in an attempt to soothe him. Seeing that he still hadn’t let go, I awkwardly wriggled free from his embrace. I gave him a distant smile. “Thanks, Julian.” His expression finally shifted, his brows furrowing slightly. “Harper, I only gave you three months off. Can’t you even talk properly anymore?” Julian seemed stung by the detachment in my tone and actions. I smiled faintly, then my gaze swept past him to the woman behind him, who was glaring at me with venomous eyes. Isabella Zhao, the Zhao family’s heiress. Recalling Mrs. Eleanor’s words, I sighed and gently pushed Julian. “Julian, the hotel is all set up. I have something else to do, so I’ll head out. You have fun.” Julian kept feeling like I had changed since coming back from my three-month vacation. No, actually, I had changed the moment I told him I was quitting. Especially that push. He suddenly felt like there was a thorn stuck in his throat, something he couldn’t swallow, making him uneasy no matter how he thought about it. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting so strange today? Are you trying to annoy me the moment you get back from your vacation?” I don’t know why, but usually I was so tolerant, endlessly patient with him. This time, however, I felt an inexplicable impatience, and I couldn’t control my tone. “How am I annoying you?” Julian pursed his lips, staring at me with a dark, brooding expression. Seeing his face, I sighed slightly. Subconsciously, I still couldn’t bring myself to lose my temper with him. A smile returned to my face as I explained, “Julian, I just think it’s too noisy here.” Julian glanced at the people in the booth, then back at me. “Too noisy?” I nodded. Without another word, he pulled my wrist and led me outside.

It was still a bit chilly in March, especially after stepping out of such a stiflingly hot environment. The moment the cold air hit me, I couldn’t help but shiver. Julian skillfully opened my shoulder bag, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it. Smoke wafted around his face, creating a haze that obscured his expression. He had just woken up, and his voice was still a bit husky. He asked me, “Did you have fun?” He was asking if I had a good time during my three-month vacation. I really did. I thought back, a smile unconsciously forming on my lips, and nodded. “Yeah, I had a great time.” He looked at me, his smoking hand pausing. Julian saw my smile and let out a small, mirthless laugh. “Where did you go? Just thinking about it makes you this happy.” I spoke as if in contemplation. “I just went back to my hometown and met an old friend.” His eyes narrowed slightly, keenly catching the phrase “old friend,” and he asked, “A man?” I hadn’t thought much about it, my smile still lingering, and nodded gently. Maybe it was some kind of male sixth sense. Seeing my expression, Julian’s heart felt like it was twisted, a surge of bitterness rising. “Who is it?” His tone tightened, carrying a hint of danger. I didn’t notice his sudden shift in mood and waved a dismissive hand. “You wouldn’t know him.” “Even I wouldn’t know him?” Julian narrowed his eyes slightly. Honestly, I’d known him for so long that he probably assumed he knew all my friends. “A friend from before I moved to Haicheng—I mean, out here. You wouldn’t know him…” Suddenly, I spotted the white figure behind Julian. Isabella had followed him outside. I nodded and smiled at her. Putting everything else aside, simply because she was Julian’s future wife, I felt compelled to greet her respectfully. That familiar bitterness had been welling up like a spring since earlier tonight, and I bit my lip, forcing the emotion back down. Then I said to Julian, “…I won’t bother you and Ms. Isabella anymore.” Julian frowned, glanced at Isabella with an annoyed expression, then shifted his gaze back to me, about to speak. Just then, my phone rang. Seeing the caller ID, I felt a little helpless, but a softness entered my eyes. I didn’t see Julian’s expression as I turned and answered the call. “Leo.” Even through the phone, I could hear his voice, so gentle it felt like it could melt into a puddle. I quickly walked a couple of steps away, sighing helplessly. “What’s up? Are you still awake this late?” A soft laugh came from the other end. “What can I say? You left, and suddenly I can’t sleep.” His blatant honesty made my earlobes warm, but I couldn’t bring myself to sound stern. I just said, with no real authority, “Talk properly.” “How am I not talking properly?” His voice naturally carried a hint of tenderness that made my heart feel soft. He pressed his advantage. “Harper, darling~ Harper, darling~ I miss you so much I can’t sleep…” It’s true, when a man acts cute, most women find it hard to resist. I felt a little embarrassed, but some rationality remained. I couldn’t help but glance back at Julian and quickly said, “Stop, stop! I’m still busy with some work here. I’ll hang up first.” He sounded pitiful. “Oh… well, call me back when you’re done.” I didn’t want to deal with him. He then gave a completely unthreatening warning. “If you don’t call me, I’m coming over to your place later.” I had no choice but to nod helplessly. “Okay, okay, I’ll call you back in a bit.”

After hanging up, I slowly exhaled, feeling utterly flushed and uncomfortable as I turned around. I saw Julian, his eyes dark and deep like an ocean with hidden currents, so profound they seemed to threaten to pull me under. For no reason, I felt a flicker of danger. My movements paused as I shoved my phone into my bag. “…What’s wrong?” His voice was even hoarser, as if the words were squeezed from his throat. “Who was that?” “Huh?” “Who was that person on the phone?” Julian said, each word distinct. He looked like he was on the verge of exploding. I was slightly bewildered, unsure why he was suddenly so angry. “That guy, who is he?” He repeated, as if afraid I hadn’t heard him clearly. I opened my mouth. “Just a friend…” He finally lost control, stepping forward and snatching my phone. He expertly typed in the password, opened my contacts, and seeing the name, repeated it with a dark expression. “Leo.” “What does that have to do with you?” I was starting to get angry too. How dare he snatch my phone? What right did he have to question me? His fiancée was standing right there, so what standing did *he* have to meddle in my affairs? But more importantly, I was afraid he’d do something irrational. Leo couldn’t handle Julian. I ran my hand through my hair, and in a fit of pique, slapped the phone onto the ground. The screen cracked. I yelled his name. “Julian!” Almost pleading, “Can you stop acting like this?” He looked at me, disbelieving. “Me, acting up?” “Harper, *you’re* the one who started this drama the moment you brought up quitting!”

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