I was in my third trimester when Natalia, Declan’s secretary, also became pregnant. In order to protect Natalia’s reputation, Declan claimed that the baby in her belly was his. As a result, my baby became a bastard without a father. When I questioned Declan, he just said coldly, “Natalia has always been timid and can’t stand the gossip of unmarried pregnancy.” At that moment, looking at the man I had loved for seven years, I realized for the first time what it was like not to love. Later, my parents felt ashamed of me and forced me to get rid of the child, but he was abroad with Natalia to raise the baby. By the time he returned, I had got rid of the baby and disappeared from his world completely. I was in my third trimester when Natalia, Declan’s secretary, became pregnant. We met at a crib store and heard Natalia say delicately: “Declan, look at this crib, the baby will love it!” Declan had a gentle look on his face and allowed Natalia to take his hand and stroke the crib rails. “I think this one’s great too, you picked a great one.” Immediately afterward, the clerk called my name and told me that the crib sample I had reserved was ready. Declan jerked back and saw me, too flustered to speak. I went over to him in anger and slapped him several times “Declan, explain!” Natalia saw this and painfully pushed me away, shielding herself in front of Declan: “I’m the one who’s pregnant with Declan’s baby, come at me if you need anything!” At that moment, my suspicions were confirmed and I couldn’t hold back my tears. “Declan, I can’t believe you cheated on me, do you not want me and the baby?” Declan saw that I was crying, ignoring Natalia, he hugged me heartily and coaxed in a low voice: “Evelyn, don’t cry, the baby in her belly is not mine. I just accompanied her to see the crib.” I choked back a sob, “Did you forget that I’m pregnant too? Who the hell is your wife?” Natalia also starts wiping her tears and looks at Declan accusingly: “Declan, you obviously promised to be my baby’s father, how can you say that?” Declan wiped my tears while shaking off Natalia’s hand. “Evelyn is my wife; she has the right to know.” Natalia immediately stopped crying and wiped away her tears and pointed at me. “Oh, does she know that the child in her belly is a bastard? Why did you accompany her in picking out a crib?” Declan’s body stiffens. I froze as well, “What do you mean?” Natalia was still beside herself with amusement: Declan is doing it all for me, fearing I’ll be gossiped about before he commits his own son.” “Evelyn, from now on my child will be Declan’s child and will sleep in the best crib.” “It’s not nice to call your child a bastard, I’ll ask Declan to take him in as an adopted son and give him a crib too.” I looked at the strange man in front of me and struggled like crazy in his arms. “You crazy bastard, are you really going to leave your own children alone?” The entire crib store was watching us. Declan hoarsely apologized over and over again. I cried for a long time before I asked him if Natalia was that important. So important that she wants our child to carry the stigma of being a bastard? Declan said with difficulty, “Natalia grew up well-behaved and timid, and couldn’t stand the gossip of being unmarried and pregnant.” He lifted me from the side of the crib and held me close. “Evelyn, I won’t let you carry this for long. We’ll go public with the baby’s identity as soon as we’re done with Natalia’s side of things.” That day, looking at the man I had loved for seven years, standing between rows and rows of a wide array of baby products, I realized for the first time what it was like to not be in love anymore. Declan pushed me in the car. The car was full of Natalia’s things. The seat backs were filled with thick cushions, her small bag hung from the armrest, and there were clothes and snacks for her in the back seat. “You’ve been so good to her.” I mocked. Natalia, however, squeezes right past me and gets right into the passenger seat. “Declan was afraid I wouldn’t feel well, he did it himself. You get in too, don’t be polite.” Declan frowned and coldly scolded, “Natalia, watch your words.” Natalia not only wasn’t afraid, but exaggeratedly covered her stomach and pouted: “Declan, don’t be mean to me, it will scare the baby.” Such poor acting that he actually believed it. Declan actually immediately eased his attitude, nervously touching Natalia’s stomach, his voice gentle: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” I stood still, watching the woman in the passenger seat raise her eyebrows at me smugly, bitterness tumbling through my heart. “Get in the car, Evelyn,” Declan said, looking back at me with a glint in his eyes. I shook my head and silently closed the car door. “I want to walk by myself.” Natalia said something from the car and Declan looked at me hesitantly before finally starting the car. I took a cab home. I hadn’t been home for half an hour when Declan came running back and stood in the doorway trying to explain to me: “Evelyn, you know how Natalia’s family is, and I can’t leave her alone. You’ll understand me, won’t you?” The pleading in his eyes hurts my heart, but it also makes me feel ridiculous. “Who am I to understand? Do I have anything to do with her? Why should I and my child suffer for her sake?” I asked him incredulously. “Just hear me out, okay?” He said wearily. It turned out that Natalia had run to his office in tears that day, shivering, and flung herself into his arms. Declan carried her to the couch and coaxed her gently, thinking she was just aggravated by her job. No sooner had he coaxed her than Natalia’s parents burst in angrily and questioned her: “Say, who the hell is the baby’s father?” Natalia was so scared she ducked into Declan’s arms. “She’s shaking like crazy, Evelyn,” Declan’s voice is full of helplessness. I sneer, “So you just recognized it for her?” Declan looks down and explains, “Natalia’s family is a financial family, and they are very strict with their only daughter.” “She doesn’t even have a boyfriend, yet she’s pregnant. Her parents won’t let her have the baby.” “She’s too scared to say it’s my baby in her belly.” Declan closed her eyes and said painfully, “In a moment of weakness, I admitted it.” “A moment of weakness?” I repeated sarcastically, “What about with our child? No more softness?” “Evelyn, I just want to protect her, I don’t mean to hurt you. You just need to suffer a little bit during this time, and afterward I’ll be sure to disclose the child’s identity, and won’t really let him be a bastard.”
Heartbroken, I ask one last question, “Why can’t you get rid of the baby?” Declan didn’t dare look at me, “Natalia …… she wanted to keep the baby.” “Once I had a biological child, she was afraid her child would have a reputation as a bastard.” I fell into a rage, and questioned him, aloud. “So, to save her reputation, my child deserves the reputation of being a bastard, right?” “We’ve been married for two years, Declan. Two years! And she’s nothing but your secretary!” Declan grabbed my hand and apologized: “When she settles down, I’ll tell everyone the truth.” I shrugged him off, “Let me guess, are you going to go public when she’s done having babies and they’re stable? How long would that take? A year? Two years? Or never that day?” “I’m sorry. But Natalia begged me and I couldn’t just stand by.” I smiled, “I see, the problem was never her, it was you.” I wiped away my tears, took a deep breath, and said, “Then get rid of my baby.” “No!” Declan’s eyes instantly became terrifying and he said angrily, “I want both your and Natalia’s children.” After saying that, he was afraid that I would say more and fled in a hurry. The next day, there were more than a dozen bodyguards around the house, and I was under house arrest. My cell phone was also confiscated, cutting off my contact with the outside world. I didn’t understand why he would keep this child I was carrying that he didn’t value if he had recognized Natalia’s child. In this way, I was stuck with him for three months and the fetus stabilized. Whenever I tried to resist, or asked to see someone, they would stop me for various reasons. During this time, Declan still came every day, even if it was late. But every time I spoke to him, my heart ached as if cut by a knife. He looked resigned, as if he felt guilty for what happened to Natalia, without ever realizing how selfish he was being. He grew colder and colder towards me, his attitude gradually becoming indifferent. And I, gradually, lost the hope I once had. Every day I stayed in this room, facing the world outside that window, I looked at my growing belly, and my heart was full of complicated emotions. That child was once my only hope for the future, but now it has become a burden I cannot escape. I was often caught up in conflicting emotions about it. I sometimes thought: if I hadn’t gotten pregnant, maybe everything wouldn’t have become so embarrassing. Natalia’s baby, Declan’s choice, his hesitation and weakness, were too much for me to bear. But every time I think of that little unborn life, my heart feels like it’s being hammered, and it hurts so much that I can’t breathe. I felt hollow inside, yet there was an overwhelming emotion that I couldn’t give up. That day Declan came to me with a tired face. I no longer expected anything to change about him; he was still wearing the same suit, his eyes full of hopelessness and anxiety. But when he saw me, his expression froze instantly and a flash of pain flashed under his eyes. “You know why I did it.” He spoke; his voice low. I smiled slightly, a little coldly, “Yeah, I know. You’d do anything for her. But can’t you look at your wife and child? What the hell were you thinking?” Declan lowered his head as if he was once again in an unresolved dilemma. After a few moments of silence, he said, “I know you’ve been wronged. But you also understand that Natalia needs me the most right now.” He looked at me nervously, “Her parents pushed too hard, and she’s in a complicated situation now, so I had to intervene. You don’t blame me, do you?” I held back my anger and said coldly, “Blame you? I stopped counting on you a long time ago.” I paused, my eyes icy cold, “By doing this, you are hurting me, you are hurting the feelings we once had between us. I always thought that marriage was about two people facing difficulties and problems together, but now, I realize that I’m just a poser.” Declan bowed his head in silence, as if he was thinking deeply about my words. I knew he still held a sense of guilt and responsibility for Natalia, but his incompetence and weakness had long since killed me. My heart grew cold. That’s when I remembered the promise he once made, “You won’t leave me alone with everything, I’ll walk with you.” But now, I realized that his vows were nothing but empty words, and that I never really existed in his world. A few days later, Declan started to become more frequent in my presence. Every time he saw me, he would feel a bit of a handful, as if he was making excuses for his decisions. I began to realize that what Declan really feared was not me, but his own conscience. He was afraid of losing Natalia, afraid of hurting her, even afraid of the reputation that child carried. I, on the other hand, had become a reality he couldn’t escape. He knows I’m enduring, and he knows I’m suffering, but he still doesn’t have the courage to stand up and make the decision he needs to make. I stood in front of the window, looking out at the grey sky, but without the slightest hope in my heart. Until one day, I stopped holding back and coldly asked him, “When exactly are you going to tell me about Natalia’s baby? Are you going to let me live with this lie for the rest of my life?” A flicker of guilt flashed in Declan’s eyes, but he said nothing.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and calmly said, “Declan, you’re still the same, choosing her, and me, I can’t even get a basic respect.” These three months of loneliness and aggravation had slowly made me numb. I never expected anything from him again, and even began to learn to stop looking forward to the future. And he, still in the name of protecting Natalia, tied up my future and that of my children. The doorbell rang and Natalia arrived with her parents and the movers. As soon as Natalia’s mother saw me, she started going through my things, casually throwing my clothing accessories to the floor, cursing all the while: ”Some people are so shameless, carrying a bastard child and still hogging their wife’s place! My stupid daughter, how much she suffered for Declan!” Natalia’s father directly picked up my suitcase, dumped all the contents on the ground and stomped on it, his eyes contemptuously snarling at me: “This trash doesn’t deserve Declan’s house, get out of my daughter’s house!” The group shoved me roughly, kicking away my belongings as they made their way up the stairs. We were the only ones left in the living room, and Natalia sneered: “So, what if you’re married to Declan? So, what if my child isn’t his? In his heart, you are nothing compared to me.” Natalia’s smile enrages me and I slap her straight across the face, pinning her to the ground and slapping her. She lies on the ground screaming until Declan rushes back and pulls me away. Natalia’s cries attracted her parents. Natalia’s mother glares at me, forcing Declan to kick me out: “I don’t feel comfortable with Natalia living here with her around. Declan, if you don’t kick her out, I’ll take Natalia home. We can afford to raise a child, and Declan’s will live with that bastard.” Natalia is in Declan’s arms, sneaking a smug smile at me. Declan is silent for a long time, and just when Natalia’s mother thinks she’s getting her way, he lets go of Natalia and walks over to me: “I’m not kicking out my wife. Please take Natalia back first.” Natalia immediately burst into tears. Eventually Natalia’s father came out to intercede and she stayed. My room was changed from the best master bedroom in the villa to the dark and narrow store room downstairs. Declan said that for the sake of Natalia’s baby, I could only be entrusted with me first. “Don’t worry, I’ll change it back for you before you give birth.” This warehouse was originally a place to store sundries, and you can smell a musty odor when you enter. The walls were mottled, there were cobwebs in the corners, and the floor had visible water stains and stains that wouldn’t rub off, making it a room no maid would ever live in. But it doesn’t matter to me where I live anymore. This child who is not expected, I no longer intend to give birth and let him suffer. Natalia was probably warned by Declan. She still lives here, but she doesn’t bother me anymore and just ignores me when she sees me. I spend all day trying to find a way to contact the outside world, and Natalia is my only hope. But she refused outright and firmly. “Declan won’t let you go out; there’s no way I’m betraying him to help you.” “Evelyn, you don’t know anything about our relationship.” “I would do anything for him.” That’s why Declan prefers to condescend to his wife and children and help this secretary. Declan comes home every day and reads bedtime stories to the baby in Natalia’s womb. He also buys her a house full of baby toys. Every night he cooked Natalia what she wanted to eat with his own hands. It was after ten o’clock at night when he knocked on my door. I opened the door and they didn’t talk for a while. I turned around and lay back down on the bed. I saw the tears in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away. The room I lived in was even worse than the maid’s room, so small that it could only fit a bed, and there wasn’t even a place to sit. Whenever it rained, the roof would always leak and I had to keep a rusty metal bucket next to my bed to catch the drops. Natalia had taken all the good rooms in the house: one was her baby’s nursery, one was her piano room, and the rest she kept for miscellaneous things. Even Declan now lives with Natalia, saying it’s easier to take care of her. Declan stood beside the bed and silently took a cigarette from his pocket. In his other hand he held a delicate china plate with half a cream cake on it, the strawberry on top already half bitten off. “Natalia couldn’t finish the cake; I thought you might be hungry.” He handed me the plate. He tried to light a cigarette and realized the room had no windows, so he put it back. I didn’t take it, just said coldly, “What the hell? I’m going to sleep.” “Evelyn, do you want to get rid of our child that badly?” “Is it so hard to believe that I love you?” It was the first time he said he loved me. But I can’t tell anymore if it’s something he really means or if it’s a ploy to trick me into having the baby. I closed my eyes and shed a tear. “I will have the baby.” “Give me back my cell phone.” “You know I don’t have many people to contact.” Declan was thrilled as he hugged me. I didn’t shake his hand off, only whispered, “I just want the phone.” “Okay, I’ll give you whatever you want.” Once the phone arrived, I was always relieved. No one knew that I, as the adopted daughter of our family, was just a pawn in a marriage with Declan. In fact, I found my real parents three years ago. But at that time, I didn’t go with them in order to marry Declan. Although they were reluctant, they still respected my choice. When they were leaving, they left a phone number and said, “If you’re not having a good time in the future, mom and dad will come and get you anytime.” I didn’t take this seriously before, but now, it became my only chance to save my life.
When Natalia was six months pregnant, she asked to go abroad to raise her baby. Declan hadn’t planned to go there so early. But Natalia whispered in his ear every day, and Declan had no choice but to agree. Before he left, he told me: “Evelyn, before our child is born, I will definitely come back to be with you. I know I’ve gone a bit overboard this time, I’ll make it up to you twice as much in the future once Natalia’s business is over.” I dutifully nodded my head at whatever he said. Declan stares at me for a while and I wonder if he sees something. It wasn’t until Natalia called out to him that he slowly took his eyes off me. Declan walks slowly and looks back at me again standing in the doorway. Suddenly, he turned and ran back to me, hugging me as tightly as he could. The tone of his voice was panicked in a way it never had been before. “Evelyn, I’m not leaving, and I don’t care about Natalia’s baby, I’m staying with you and the baby.” I let him hold me, with little expression on my face, and said calmly: “You wouldn’t be Declan if you could really leave Natalia alone. Don’t test me, you’ll have to go whether I’m angry or not.” I could feel his tense body loosen up a little, and I snuck a sigh of relief. Just then Natalia pretends to fall and lets out a scream. Declan immediately let go of me and ran over to help her. “Are you alright? Be careful, don’t hurt the baby.” Declan nervously checked Natalia’s condition. Natalia leans back in Declan’s arms and throws a smug look at me. It was as if she felt she knew she had won. But just as they were about to get into the car, the babysitter next to me suddenly called out to Declan. “Sir, let madam move upstairs, the room she’s in now is too damp.” Natalia pulled Declan’s sleeve, Declan thought about it: “Evelyn, then you move to the guest room first, don’t touch Natalia’s things, I’m afraid she’ll come back angry.” I said back, “Okay.” Once Declan’s plane took off, I was finally relieved. I couldn’t help but laugh in the empty living room. The babysitter saw me laughing and was happy for me, and hurriedly asked the kitchen to make my favorite steak. Looking at the time on my cell phone, in another twelve hours, my parents would be here to pick me up. Within half an hour of receiving my call, they took a private jet to come here. I told them that Declan had sent a dozen bodyguards to watch me. On the other end of the phone, my dad laughed disdainfully, ”Evelyn, not to mention one Declan family, even if it’s a hundred, we don’t put it in our eyes. You’re the only successor of the family, and when you come back, all of this will be yours.” Although I don’t know if my own father, whom I’ve only met once, is bragging, his words do put me at ease. Before the meal was finished, Natalia’s parents, Declan’s parents, and my adoptive parents, a group of people barged in. They all looked at me with that condescending look, their faces full of disgust and contempt. “You still have the face to eat here?” Natalia’s father sneered. “How does a despicable woman like that deserve to enter our house?” Declan’s mother spat at me. She flung a divorce agreement at me and asked me to sign it. “Get rid of the child, sign it, and our family will leave you alone.” Natalia’s mom babysitter, “If it were up to me, I’d have to let everyone know and make her lose her reputation! Your family has really raised a good daughter!” My adoptive father felt ashamed and came up and slapped me. “Damn girl!” My adoptive mother also rushed up and kicked me hard, “Something with no shame, how could I raise a daughter like you!” The babysitter, who wanted to defend me, was pressed to death. I sat at the table, feeling deeply powerless. That day, I made a note of every one of their faces. I picked up a pen and signed the divorce papers. Being forcibly dragged to the operating table, I said coldly, “If it’s Declan’s that’s in my belly, and Natalia is carrying something that isn’t at all, will you regret it?” I was really looking forward to the day they would regret it. Without waiting for their reaction, I was escorted into the hospital. The moment the baby was gone, I cried uncontrollably. It was obvious that even I hated the baby, so why was I still so upset. When I woke up, there were two people standing beside the bed, one on the left and one on the right, crying unusually hard, not even realizing that I was awake. Or the passing nurse reminded them, “Two people, stop crying first, the patient has been awake for half a day.” Only then did the two stops, and I smiled at them. My dad took a look at my weak appearance and became angrier and angrier: “Daughter, I won’t spare anyone who bullies you!” My mom gently stroked my head, “Baby, don’t be afraid, mom and dad will always be by your side.” “Are you hungry and thirsty?” Then my mom was busy pouring water for me, and my dad was on his hands and knees feeding me food. They asked me if I was cold one moment, and asked me if I was hungry the next, wishing they could give me all the goodness in the world. My foster parents never treated me like that. There, I had to brace myself when I got sick, and at most the nanny would sneak me some medicine. Once when I had a high fever for three days, my adoptive mom even complained that I was delaying my classes, saying that all that money to train me was not for me to lie around and waste time. From the day I was adopted by my adoptive parents, I always wondered what it would be like to have my mom and dad by my side. The kids at my foster parents’ house could skip a bunch of classes just by pampering themselves. I, on the other hand, didn’t even have a break from school, rain or shine. My foster parents always said, “Other people’s kids are just charity, so if you don’t perform well, how can you live up to the favor?” Later, they raised me to be a qualified marriage tool as they wished. If Declan hadn’t said he wanted to marry me, I would have been sold to the highest bidder. The man I’ve been in love with for so many years suddenly said he wanted to marry me. I was so excited that I didn’t close my eyes for two days and nights, and I couldn’t even hide the pleasure in my heart. Yet at the time I didn’t think it would end like this. After my body got better, my parents took me, got on their private jet, and started my new life. Declan’s POV. Declan, who was far away from home with Natalia to nurse her fetus, suddenly felt a dull ache in his heart. Since the day he left, an indescribable feeling of unease had babysitter him.
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