It was a Latin ballroom aerial spin, and my husband, my dance partner, didn’t catch me. I fell to the floor, leaving me completely paralyzed. Noah frantically slapped himself, claiming it was an accident, swearing he’d care for me for life. He tearfully claimed financial strain forced him to stop paying my medical bills, only to turn around and buy his ex-girlfriend a custom-made haute couture dance outfit. I lost the critical window for treatment and would be bedridden for life. I grieved for my broken body, when I accidentally overheard him on a call with his buddy: “Are you being too cruel to Aria?! You deliberately didn’t catch her just so Skylar could win the championship.” Noah was silent for a long moment. “I’ve wronged Aria, but I’ll take responsibility for her until the end! Even though she’s lost her legs and her dream, she has my complete love!” Staring at my life, a dark abyss, I slit my wrists. As my blood splattered, Noah, with red eyes, claimed he regretted it.
“Why are your eyes so red? Are your legs hurting again?” Noah’s voice, as always, was gentle when he hung up the phone. For a moment, I couldn’t tell which was the real him. “The dance troupe just called, they want me to go over.” The dance troupe? Weren’t you just mocking me with your buddy? I stared intently at him, trying to find a hint of a lie in his gaze. He awkwardly tilted his head. That’s his tell when he’s lying. “The dance troupe said they could lend me some money so I can pay for your treatment.” I scoffed. It was only a few days ago, when the nurse came to urge payment, that I found out many of my treatment fees were overdue. That’s why I couldn’t get physical therapy. When I asked Noah, he looked troubled. “Paying for your legs drained my savings, but don’t worry, I’ll cover the costs even if I have to take out a loan.” I kept waiting. Until yesterday, when the doctor gave me the devastating diagnosis: “Missed the optimal treatment window, regaining the ability to stand will be difficult.” That’s when I understood my life was over; I’d forever be a bird in a cage. “Okay, you go.” I lay down, not clinging to him for company as I usually did. Only after the hospital room door closed did I bury my face and weep. I sobbed myself into a daze until I fell asleep, only to be woken by the TV news. It was Skylar. She had just won another Latin dance competition, surrounded by reporters for interviews. I saw myself before I was paralyzed: I was always first in every major competition, surrounded by countless reporters, showered with congratulations. “Skylar, who do you want to thank most for winning this championship?” “My first love. Thank you for always being there for me, encouraging me, and even buying me my dance outfit!” “Oh, and it looks like it’s a specially customized haute couture outfit!!” “Oh, whether it’s haute couture or not isn’t important! But he’s truly wonderful to me! Oh, come on! Don’t be so nosy!” Skylar’s pretty face flushed slightly, and she happily glanced to the side. In the corner of the camera, there was a hint of a light blue sleeve. That was the color of Noah’s shirt today. I nervously squeezed my hands. What if it was just a coincidence? What if it was just the same brand? I called the dance troupe director. My heart pounded with each ring of the phone.
“Noah? He didn’t tell me he was coming over!” He abandoned my surgery to celebrate Skylar’s championship win. Even knowing what the outcome would be, I still desperately needed confirmation. I looked at Skylar’s dance outfit, glittering with diamonds and incredibly luxurious, and couldn’t help but run my hands over my numb legs. So, “tight on money” and “forced to delay treatment payments” were just your lies. I sniffled, trying to hold back tears. “Director, I’d like to see the video of the competition from the day I fell.” The director was surprised. Before, I had always resisted this, even talking about it would make me break down. I fast-forwarded to the part where I fell. I leaped into the air; Noah’s body swayed, and the hand that was supposed to catch me paused five centimeters away from my body. I fell heavily to the ground. Immediately after, there was his gasp of alarm and his frantic attempt to help me up. Anyone watching would only think it was an accident. But recalling Noah’s nonchalant tone on the phone, I felt his swaying body, his hesitating hand, were so deliberate. For Skylar, he made me paralyzed, ruined my life. But he was the one who ignited my dream. During college, I repeatedly hit roadblocks in Latin dance competitions and had poor results. I decided to give up dancing after one last performance. The music had just stopped when I heard applause. “I’m truly grateful that such an excellent dancer exists in this world, allowing me to witness such beautiful dancing!” His voice was filled with undisguised admiration. That was the first time I met Noah. Two strangers who knew nothing of each other: one venting about future uncertainties; the other encouraging me not to give up my dream. I put on my dance shoes again, and after graduation, I reunited with Noah. I was filled with joy, yet I was rejected by major dance competitions at the peak of my career. After much asking around, I learned I’d been blacklisted by Noah’s ex-girlfriend, Skylar. Unable to afford my mom’s surgery, and seeing the critical illness notice, I knelt before Skylar. She made no demands on me, not even the typical “leave Noah” drama you see in TV shows. She just gave me a faint glance, making me understand the vast chasm between us. Skylar showed mercy, but my mom still missed the optimal treatment window and passed away. I dared not blame anyone, only weep bitterly in the dead of night, clutching my mom’s clothes. After I got together with Noah, I once brought this up to him. He was silent for a long moment. “Skylar can be a bit willful, don’t take it to heart.” My eyes widened. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Could a simple “willful” cover up the crime of causing my mother’s death? Noah irritably tugged at his tie. “So what do you want me to do? Hold her accountable for something irreversible?” “You can’t blame Skylar for this; it’s purely because you, as her daughter, were incompetent, which led to your mother’s untreatable death!” I was incompetent? I won every competition I entered! But I didn’t dare talk back. Afraid my peaceful life would be ruined by Skylar again.
I watched the video again and again until Noah returned. He walked over, and seeing me watching the competition video, a flicker of unease crossed his face. “Don’t watch these, it’ll just upset you, and I’ll feel terrible.” His face was full of tenderness, but my heart was filled with mockery. “Didn’t you orchestrate this? Weren’t you behind all of this?” The words were barely out of my mouth when Noah, seemingly hurt by my attitude, his voice turned sharp. “What are you talking about? Aria, I’ve cared for you with all my heart since your accident, and this is how you see me?” “If it weren’t for me, with your leg broken this morning, your gambling addict father would have already abandoned you for dead, perhaps even selling your remains to cover his debts!” The more he spoke, the more genuine he sounded, wearing an expression that said, “How could you be so unreasonable?” “Wasn’t it for Skylar?” My voice was icy. “I…” The color drained from Noah’s face, and all the words he was about to say caught in his throat. “It’s not what you think.” After a long moment, Noah spoke, his voice dry. “When I gave her up back then, I wronged her.” “That’s *your* wronging of her, what does that have to do with me? Why should my legs be the price of your compensation to her? I’m not some mistress!” I was losing control. “Calm down! Look at it from another angle, it’s not all bad.” “I’ve repaid my debt to Skylar, and now I can fully devote myself to you, with no more ties to her.” “Even though you can’t walk anymore, you have *all* of me now!” I literally couldn’t believe my ears. “What’s so great about having a bastard like you?! I just want my body back!” After losing my legs, the brokenness of my body wore away all my strength. I couldn’t calmly love anyone anymore. Noah’s eyes instantly turned cold. “Looks like you haven’t realized you’ll be living off my charity for the rest of your life.” Soon, I understood the meaning of Noah’s words. I wanted a drink of water, but my wheelchair got stuck on the rug. “You stay here and reflect. Think about what kind of attitude you should have toward me from now on.” Noah slammed the door shut and left, a smug look on his face. I felt my mouth go dry, staring at the water glass just within reach. The thirst gradually morphed into a searing pain that scorched my soul. I don’t know how much time passed, when an uncontrollable urge to urinate swept over me. My catheter needed changing. Usually, Noah would change it for me at this time. I bit my lip tightly, furiously pressing the wheelchair’s control lever. The wheelchair shook violently, and I tumbled to the floor. I didn’t even care about the pain. I quickly crawled toward the bathroom. I desperately tried to arch my body, but still couldn’t resist my body’s needs. A warm sensation soaked my pants. I clenched my fists, wishing I could just die right there. The uncontrollable humiliation shattered my self-esteem far more than any verbal abuse. Not until the next morning, when the caregiver arrived. The caregiver lifted me onto the bed, deftly pulling off my pants, then unceremoniously wiping between my legs with a towel. I was turned over and over by her hands, like a dead pig waiting to be butchered. She looked disgustedly at the soiled items in her hand, constantly complaining, “It stinks! Can’t even control her own piss and crap.” “If I were you, I’d just die! Living is just wasting air and food.” I was shaking with rage, my teeth chattering. “This is your job, my husband pays you handsomely…” Before I could finish, the caregiver shoved my soiled pants into my mouth. The foul smell assaulted my nostrils, making me feel faint. “Shut up! Still making trouble even in this state! Mr. Noah is just taking pity on you, giving you a meal, just like he’d feed a stray dog on the street!” “For a rich man like Mr. Noah, money is just a number. His most precious asset is time, and his time is spent on…” The caregiver sneered, not finishing her sentence. But I understood what she meant. Half an hour ago, the dance troupe’s official SnapChat account posted some photos. Noah and Skylar embracing and dancing on a grand stage, with all eyes focused on them. That was something I could never achieve again in this lifetime. Why were my life and love so painful? I slit my wrist. As my blood stained the floor, I couldn’t help but wickedly wonder what Noah’s reaction would be. Sadness? Maybe he’d feel relieved to get rid of this burden! I thought death was the end, but surprisingly, my soul floated beside my body. My colleagues from the dance troupe were the first to come see me. “Oh my God, how could Aria be so desperate!”
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