The Antarctic research team had an unofficial ‘dry spell’ ranking, and my name was a permanent fixture at the top. That’s because for eight years of marriage, my wife and I never shared a bed, never touched. Yet, I stubbornly refused to divorce her. She loathed me, saw me as pathetic and malicious, believing I’d selfishly caused the death of her beloved childhood sweetheart. I hated her for being so utterly blind, so heartlessly oblivious. I swore to cling to her for an eternity, ensuring that even in death, her tombstone would bear *my* name, and mine alone. But then the glacier collapsed. She pushed me away, burying herself alive under the ice and snow. “Ash,” she whispered, her voice fading, “if there’s a next life, I’m begging you… please, don’t love me anymore.” By the time they rescued her, she had already suffocated. Not long after, I died in a new mission. When I opened my eyes again, I chose to actively forfeit our engagement. “This research mission,” I declared, “I’ll go.”
“The engagement with Scarlett, wasn’t that something you begged for? Are you really willing to give it up, and take Brandon’s place in Antarctica?” My mother, the Director of the Research Institute, fixed me with a cold, probing gaze. Everyone in the facility knew: Brandon and I weren’t blood brothers, and certainly not by choice. There was no affection, no bond between us. Give up Scarlett, take Brandon’s place suffering under the Antarctic glaciers? Impossible! “You’re just seven days away from finally becoming Scarlett’s husband. And now you want to forfeit?” I parted my tightly pressed lips, cutting off my mother’s probing questions. “Didn’t you always say I was born three minutes before Brandon, and that as the older brother, I should always step aside for him?” Ever since I returned to this family, my mother’s biggest concern wasn’t whether I’d suffered while I was away. No, her fear was that Brandon would be upset by the arrival of an ‘outsider’ in *his* home. In my past life, if I hadn’t reminded her of my father’s dying wish, she would’ve undoubtedly thrown me into that mission in Brandon’s place without a second thought. Seeing my insistence, my mother sighed in relief. She submitted my name to the Antarctic research team and sent notice to the Vance family of the change in their long-standing engagement. The moment I stepped out of the Director’s office, Scarlett walked directly into me. In my past life, she had volunteered to go in Brandon’s stead. When my mother refused, Scarlett went on a hunger strike. I used every method imaginable to coax her into eating. I even had the institute doctors administer IV drips, practically dragging her to complete the wedding. Now, I walked past her, my gaze unwavering, but Scarlett grabbed my arm. I spoke in a cold voice, “The Antarctic expedition is urgent. It’s an order from the higher-ups.” Scarlett clenched her fists. “You know that’s a death sentence! There must be another way!” I chuckled dryly. Nations worldwide are racing to find ways to unlock breakthroughs in human genetics. If we don’t act now, our country will fall drastically behind in the global scientific race! One of us, Brandon or I, had to shoulder the responsibility of venturing deep into the Antarctic storm zone, even if it was a suicide mission. “The higher-ups demanded the Director lead by example, sending her own flesh and blood to Antarctica. No one could stand in the way.” She stared at me intently. “Then why isn’t *he* going?” Her thoughtless question made my pupils dilate almost imperceptibly. I instantly swallowed the urge to tell her the truth. “Think what you like.” “Maybe the outcome you wished for has finally arrived.” I ignored her gaze and walked away. I had intended to tell Scarlett about the change in names, but then thought better of it. Consider it my selfish desire. I couldn’t bear to see her face remain utterly indifferent when she realized *I* was the one being sent to my death. In my past life, at the moment the glacier collapsed, Scarlett pushed me onto the only life raft, burying herself alive beneath the heavy ice and snow. I thought that if I kept giving, kept sacrificing, her heart would eventually warm to me. She gave her life to save mine, and on the very same glacier that had claimed Brandon’s life, she pleaded with me not to love her in the next. So be it. This time, as I head to Antarctica, consider it me repaying the life debt I owe her.
Back in my dorm, I began searching for information on the Antarctic storm zone. It was a place of perpetual, violent storms, incredibly dangerous. In my past life, Brandon had spent six months locating the fossil, but after transmitting the signal, he was immediately engulfed by a storm, his body torn apart on the spot. Later, when the research project resumed, Scarlett was buried alive by a glacier, triggered by a storm, as she tried to save me… I meticulously recalled the storm phenomena observed in my past life, attempting to summarize patterns. After a sleepless night with no breakthroughs, I headed to the cafeteria to grab some food. The moment I sat down, my entire tray of food, soup and all, drenched me. Scarlett grabbed my collar, her dissecting scalpel, still gleaming from its last use, pointed directly at my wide, startled eyes. “Asher Hayes!” I tried to push her away, but she shoved hard, slamming me back against the chair. “Are you insane?!” I twisted her hand, redirecting the blade, but she lunged forward, plunging it towards me. “You knew going into the storm zone was a death trap, yet you still sent a congratulatory message to Brandon! How utterly disgusting are you?” “Just to make me marry you?! Have you no self-respect left?!” The spot on my back where the blade had narrowly missed felt like it had been hit by a jolt of electricity. The icy days and nights of my past life flashed before my eyes, merging with the raw hatred burning in hers. Snapping back to reality, I instantly raised my arm, elbowing the one pinning me down. The scalpel clattered to the floor. “Researcher Vance, are you going to use your life-saving scalpel to kill me?” She froze. “Are you okay? I just… I just…” I picked up the scalpel, placing it on the table, cutting her off. “No matter how dangerous the storm zone is, someone has to go. Will it be any less dangerous if I go?” “Perhaps the wedding isn’t as bad as you think. Maybe it’s something worth celebrating.” Scarlett was speechless. “Watching Brandon die, marrying you… what part of that is worth celebrating?” My limbs felt like they were on the verge of losing control. I clenched my fists and turned to leave. Scarlett, this time, everything will be worth celebrating. Deleting the approval status from my phone, I watched Scarlett, still relentlessly heading towards the Director’s office. I returned with my storm zone research materials, just in time to see Scarlett carefully wiping dust from a good luck talisman with a fine brush. Brandon saw me and asked, “What’s that? For me?” Scarlett, without looking up, replied, “It’s nothing. Just some worthless trinket. I’ll get you something better later.” My turning footsteps startled Scarlett. In her hand was… the good luck talisman my father had specially commissioned from a spiritual advisor after he learned I’d been accepted into the National Academy of Sciences. He said he was just a businessman, too preoccupied with money to truly help me with my academic path. He didn’t care how far I went, only that I stayed safe. Later, when Scarlett suffered a chemical burn during a lab experiment, I gave it to her. Despite Scarlett calling out, I didn’t turn back. Late that night, still unable to sleep, I went out for some air. The good luck talisman, hanging on my doorknob, fell to my feet. I scoffed. I just glanced at it and slammed the door shut. It wasn’t until the soft patter of rain began that I stood by the door for a long time before picking up the talisman.
At the send-off party, Brandon stood, glass in hand, soaking in the mix of colleagues’ fawning praise and barely concealed resentment. The electronic screen in the hall only read, “Farewell to Director Chen’s Son, Journeying to Antarctica,” without specifying a name. The person speaking hadn’t expected me to show up. He paused for a few seconds, then stubbornly continued, “What are you looking at? Brandon is just better than you, his older brother! I heard you grew up in the countryside, right? No wonder you’re such a coward!” Someone else chimed in, “Exactly! They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but *this* guy is too chicken to even go to Antarctica! It’s a damn insult to Director Hayes’s and Mr. Hayes’s legacy!” Brandon strode forward, calling out to me by the entrance. “Mom said you *volunteered* for this suicide mission in Antarctica. Smart move. Scarlett loves me so much, if I died down there, would she be so heartbroken she’d live the rest of her life as my devoted widow?” “I’m being so generous, giving you this chance to make history for the Institute. But if our colleagues want to think that, what can I do…?” “I guess I’ll just have to make sure to throw a bigger party when you’re gone, to thank you for ‘looking after’ my wife all these years~” I scoffed, giving him a pointed, knowing look. “You going is certainly a suicide mission. But why would it be for me?” “You barely scraped by with your master’s and doctorate, and now you think you’re better than me—a direct recruit, top of my class at the National Academy? Mom’s been covering for you, cheating you through every assessment. Did you actually believe your scores were anywhere near mine?” Before I could finish, he suddenly staggered backward, feigning alarm. “Brother, even if I shouldn’t be so close to Scarlett, you shouldn’t…” The sound of footsteps was all it took; I knew it was Scarlett. I was about to turn. A burning slap landed across my face. Before I could even register it, another one followed on the other side. Scarlett shielded Brandon behind her like a mother hen protecting her chick, the fury in her eyes almost solid. “I truly underestimated you!” “Brandon is going to Antarctica for everyone’s sake! And at this critical moment, you target him? Are you trying to get him killed?” I shook my head. “There are security cameras here, you…” “Shut up!” Scarlett’s voice rose, her eyes like daggers. “You’ve always been a cowering coward, running from the Antarctic expedition. Fine! But your brother is going to such a dangerous place in your stead, and you not only show no gratitude, you try to harm him!” “An ungrateful snake like you! I shouldn’t have saved you back then; I should’ve just let those kids beat you to death!” “You’re nothing but a stain on Mr. Hayes’s legacy!” My body went rigid, my breath catching in my throat. I couldn’t hear anything, only saw her lips moving. But the lanyard around my neck was violently yanked, snapping me out of my daze. I raised my bloodshot eyes, staring intently at the good luck talisman Scarlett shoved into Brandon’s hand. “What are you doing?!” Brandon whined piteously, “I’m going to Antarctica anyway, Ash, can’t you just let me have this? I just wanted Dad’s blessing and protection…” My eyes never left her face, watching Scarlett’s expression intently. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten what that talisman means to me!” Scarlett’s face paled. Seeing Brandon’s hurt expression, she stepped forward and grabbed my arm. “Brandon is leaving for Antarctica soon, Ash! This is about national interest! Don’t be so petty!” “We’re both Mr. Hayes’s sons. I just wanted it to protect Brandon. Mr. Hayes wouldn’t mind…” “After the wedding, I’ll buy you ten, a hundred talismans to make up for it, okay?” I shook off Scarlett’s hand, reaching for Brandon. With a sharp rip, the talisman tore into two halves. Brandon mumbled, “I didn’t mean to!” but the smug triumph in his eyes, fixed on me, was unmistakable. I was about to throw a punch when Scarlett pulled out her scalpel, pointing the tip directly at my forehead. This was the second time she’d used her lab scalpel on me. “Didn’t you hear Brandon say it was an accident?” “Do you really want me to report you for insulting a national hero?!” I let out a bitter laugh, then pulled the corrosive chemical vial from my uniform pocket and rattled it, deliberately showing her the identification number. Watching her panic, my mind flashed back to our past life, how we constantly glowered at each other, each wishing the other dead. Through my hazy vision, I almost saw the look in her eyes as she pushed me, for the very last time. Thwack! Through my tear-blurred vision, I watched the spreading crimson. Scarlett’s hand went slack, her gaze fixated on the scalpel now buried in my chest. Just like every bitter confrontation in our past life, she was always the one going for the kill, and I, always the one holding back. Clutching my chest, I tried to support myself, stumbling towards the door. But my legs gave out, and I fell back into a welcoming embrace, filled with the sweet scent of jasmine. The dampness trickling onto my neck felt unnervingly cold.
Luckily, no vital organs were hit. When my lab colleagues visited me, they mentioned that Scarlett had taken a leave of absence during my recovery to go to the mountains and pray for good luck charms. I bundled up warmly, preparing to leave. As if to help me acclimatize to the cold, it had started snowing here too. Following the fresh footprints, I looked at my door. A pile of good luck talismans hung on the doorknob, the topmost one tattered but mended with clear tape. A sticky note on the door read, “Apology.” I calmly averted my gaze and headed towards the Research Institute’s main gate, turning back for what might be my last look at it. The roar of a helicopter’s propellers filled the air. Scarlett, breathless, lunged towards me. She touched a small patch of skin on my forehead not covered by my fleece hat. “I’m useless. I couldn’t convince the Director.” “Don’t worry. Even if I marry him, my heart will only ever be yours.” She spoke earnestly, snowflakes dusting her hair. I watched her retreating back, a little surprised. Pulling my suitcase towards the helicopter, the festive crackle of firecrackers stopped me in my tracks. It was only then that I remembered: today was also Scarlett and Brandon’s wedding. Scarlett had just sent me an apology gift. Soon, she would receive mine. Reaching the helicopter, the escort personnel took my luggage. As I was about to step inside, I was tightly embraced, the sweet scent of jasmine filling my nostrils. “Are you… angry because I’m marrying Brandon?” So, all those promises were for Brandon. She continued, “I’m so sorry…” “I’ll wait for you to come back, no matter what our circumstances are then. Please, can you stop pushing me away?” She sobbed uncontrollably, as if making a difficult, pre-emptive promise. “If—if you truly don’t come back, I’ll live the rest of my life as your devoted widow…” I grabbed the ladder and silently climbed up, wishing the noise of the helicopter’s propellers was even louder. Through the densely falling snow against the window, I shifted my gaze to the ground. Scarlett, covered in goose-down flakes, looked drained of life amidst the vast whiteness. She pushed away the red wedding umbrella offered by her colleagues, tearing her heart out as she screamed into the sky: “Brandon!” Only when the helicopter’s black speck vanished into the sky did Scarlett, shoulders heavy with snow, return to the Research Institute. Her colleagues entered her room, helping her into a stunning red wedding gown and applying her makeup.
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