My mom, Lorelei, couldn’t handle my dad David’s cheating. She tried to take her own life by opening the gas valve. She didn’t die, but I, Aubrey, was burned and disfigured saving her from the fire. Seven years later, Lorelei found a new boyfriend, handsome and rich. A week before her wedding, she started packing my bags. “Look, don’t blame me for being heartless, okay?” she snapped. “You look like a monster. What if you scare my boyfriend’s daughter?” “I’ve raised you for years; I’ve paid my dues. It’s your dad’s turn to take responsibility now.” Then, she dropped me and my luggage at my dad’s apartment complex. I was terrified waiting there because I’d dropped my mask and hat in Lorelei’s car. When I thought to chase her, she sped up, eager to get rid of me. I stumbled and fell while desperately trying to catch her, making my already disfigured face look even worse. After scrambling back to my feet on all fours, Lorelei’s car was gone. So I could only crouch on the ground, burying my face deep in my knees. But thankfully, it wasn’t long before a middle-aged man ran over, panting. He called out tentatively, cautiously. “Aubrey.” I quickly looked up. What met my eyes was a stranger. Seeing my face, the man paused for a moment. But after a brief second, he said, “Hello, I’m Mr. Thompson, your dad’s good friend.” “Your dad’s away on a business trip today, so he asked me to pick you up.” The man’s voice was quite loud at first, but maybe it was because I was staring at him. His voice grew softer, almost a whisper. I’d encountered this scenario many times. Ever since I was disfigured saving Lorelei from the fire, it’s always been like this. The first time I returned to school after being discharged from the hospital, with my face covered in twisted scars, Ms. Davies, my homeroom teacher, was on the podium, trying to prepare the class emotionally. She was telling them not to give me strange looks or treat me differently. She spoke passionately and fiercely, but the moment I stepped into the classroom, Ms. Davies was just like this man; her voice hitched, then she stammered a few times, finally forcing the words out to the class. “Okay, cl-classmates… let’s give Aubrey a round of applause for re-returning to school.” A scattered applause echoed through the classroom. But no amount of clapping could hide the shaken, terrified stares that followed me. After that, there were two kinds of people in my class. Some felt sympathy for what I’d been through. Others were terrified, saying I looked like a horrifying monster and were scared if I even looked at them. But no matter what kind of person they were, in the end, no one was willing to interact with me. Even my best friend, my best deskmate, grew distant. I once overheard them talking in the restroom. “Ugh, it’s not that I don’t want to be Aubrey’s friend anymore, but I’m genuinely scared. Every time she looks at me, I have nightmares when I get home.” So, already used to such gazes, I calmly bent down, picked up my luggage, and said, “Let’s go.” The man paused for a second before snapping out of it and quickly followed me. “Aubrey, is your suitcase heavy? Uncle Thompson can help you with it, okay?” I simply shook my head slightly and then lowered my head again, pulling my collar up to hide my face. Seeing my action, the man quickly rushed ahead of me. Watching him, I felt a pang of derision. I wondered why he was so silly. Did he think his large build would somehow make me less noticeable? But he didn’t know that every step of the way, I was met with stares from children and adults alike, stares that openly labeled me a monster.
The man took me to a two-bedroom apartment. It wasn’t large, but it was exceptionally clean. The room was filled with family photos of my dad, a woman I didn’t know, and a little boy. Even with a quick glance, I could tell it was a warm, loving home. It was exactly like the cozy scene with Lorelei, her boyfriend, and his daughter eating at McDonald’s. As soon as we entered, the man invited me to sit on the sofa and eagerly went to pour me some water. But he fumbled around, but couldn’t find the kettle. Seeing his frantic search, I calmly spoke up. “I don’t like interacting with strangers. You can go now.” The man froze slightly, the smile on his face stiffening. But after a moment, he tried to appease me. “Alright, alright, if that’s the case, then I’ll head out.” Then the door slammed shut. It wasn’t until I heard the man’s footsteps fade away that my rigidly upright posture finally softened. After a moment of daze, I pulled out my phone, intending to send Lorelei a SnapChat, to tell her I had arrived at my dad’s. But as soon as I opened my phone, I saw Lorelei’s SnapChat post. “Waiting for my daughter to get out of school.” The accompanying picture was of a little girl with a backpack walking out of school. My fingers tightened around my phone. A suffocating, bitter ache rose in my chest. I held it back, forcing myself to switch from the SnapChat interface to a food delivery app. Just as I was about to order some masks and hats for myself, I remembered Lorelei hadn’t given me any money. Three days ago, she told me she’d already spoken to my dad, and that he would be responsible for all my future tuition, miscellaneous fees, and living expenses. So, she wouldn’t be giving me my allowance for the month. My eyes felt raw, and I had to lie down on the sofa to swallow back my tears. With nothing else to do, I started to daydream. Thinking of nothing, yet seemingly everything. It wasn’t until the sun had set that a little boy’s voice suddenly echoed from outside. “Mommy, is my big sister really coming to live with us? That’s great! I’m definitely going to show her my new Ultraman!” Hearing the noise outside, I immediately sat up on the sofa, straightening my back. Remembering I wasn’t wearing my mask, I frantically pulled my collar up, trying to hide my face in a messy scramble. But I was too late. As a hurried sound of the door opening echoed, It was immediately followed by a startled scream. “Ah! A ghost!” Then came the sound of a boy wailing. My heart seized, and I scrambled to my feet. The woman who entered was a bit plump, dressed in clothes that weren’t particularly trendy. She glanced at me frantically, then picked up the wailing child. She must have been scared too, her voice trembling slightly. “I… I’m so sorry, Aubrey. I… I didn’t know you were already home.” “Your dad called me and said… said you weren’t coming until tonight.” After saying that, she turned to gently comfort the little boy in her arms. “Leo, don’t cry. What did Mommy tell you before? Do you remember?” “This is your big sister, Aubrey! Weren’t you most excited for her to come?” The boy’s crying subsided with the woman’s soothing, but after cautiously peeking at me, he clung to his mom’s neck even tighter and started crying again. His mom looked at me apologetically. “I… I’m so sorry, Aubrey. Your little brother, he’s just a little boy, he doesn’t understand yet.” Actually, she didn’t need to explain. After Lorelei found a boyfriend, she once brought his daughter home. That day, I was sick with a cold and hadn’t gone to school. As soon as the little girl saw a “ghost” in the house, she was so scared she started wailing like a banshee. Lorelei immediately panicked, rushed over, slapped me, and angrily picked up the little girl, storming out of the house. When she came home that night, she made a rule for me. Whenever I was home, except for using the restroom or eating, I had to stay in my room. Not wanting to be annoying anymore, I spoke up amidst the little boy’s cries. “Where’s my room?” The woman’s eyes flickered slightly, then she pointed to the bedroom closest to the bathroom. I pursed my lips, said nothing, and turned to drag my suitcase to the room Elara had assigned me.
For the next three days, other than eating and using the restroom, I hardly left my room. I spent my days either studying or reading. Occasionally, the happy shouts of the little boy from outside would make me pause my pen. It made me think of when David hadn’t cheated yet. Back then, every day when he came home from work, my dad would carry me on his shoulders, and I’d hold a doll in my arms, shouting with joy that Dad’s shoulders were my very own pumpkin carriage. Then, from the kitchen, I’d hear Lorelei’s nagging. She’d ask David why he wasn’t taking me to clean up yet. She’d say I was always getting into mischief all day long. Back then, I’d always giggle with laughter on Dad’s shoulders. Perhaps life was too beautiful back then, so beautiful that even now, tears welled up in my eyes. Staring at the blurred words, I hastily pulled at my sleeve to wipe them away. But the more I wiped, the more the ink bled on my homework, the more the words blurred on my page. It seemed I don’t deserve good memories. Two more days passed. One afternoon, there was a knock on my door. The moment I heard it, my body instinctively tensed. I straightened up, stood, and went to open the door. Elara was standing there, holding the little boy’s hand, looking at me with an appeasing smile. “Aubrey, Auntie Elara bought you something.” Saying this, she handed me a plastic bag. I looked down and saw sanitary pads. She saw my expression and quickly said, “Aubrey, Auntie Elara saw you were using toilet paper in the bathroom, I’m sorry, so I took the liberty of getting you some.” “Oh, and do you not have any money on you? Can I get your SnapChat to send you some money via PayPal?” I looked at her plastic bag, hesitating. But thinking about how uncomfortable it was using toilet paper, I finally took the plastic bag from her hand. I also complied, pulling out my phone to add her on SnapChat. After doing everything, I closed my door. But within a few minutes, Elara knocked again. “Aubrey, Auntie Elara made you a warm herbal drink for your cramps. Would you like to open the door and drink some? It can really help ease the pain.” “Girls your age often get bad cramps.” Listening to Lorelei’s voice through the door, I clenched my fists tightly. This reminded me of two years ago, when I first started my period. My periods were irregular, and the cramps were so bad I’d be rolling on the floor in agony every time. Back then, I cried and begged Lorelei to take me to the doctor. I told her I was in so much pain, so much pain. My mom snapped at me, annoyed: “You’re so dramatic! It’s just period pain, what’s the big deal? “When do I have time to take you to the doctor? Even if I did, I wouldn’t want to. “Ever since you were disfigured, every time I take you out, I feel like a criminal. Strangers stare at me all the time; it’s utterly humiliating! “And besides, I’m going on a trip with my boyfriend today, I don’t have time.” “If you’re really in so much pain, there’s some brown sugar in the fridge. Just mix it with hot water and drink it.” After saying that, Lorelei grabbed her bag and walked out the door. That night, due to severe cramps and a persistent high fever, I almost died at home. It wasn’t until I crawled out and knocked on a neighbor’s door that she took me to the hospital, and I barely clung to life. When Lorelei was called to the hospital, Her first reaction wasn’t to comfort me. It was anger. “Aubrey, why are you so much trouble? I leave for a second and something happens to you.” “I must have been cursed in a past life to have such a jinx for a daughter!” Thinking of the despair I felt lying in that hospital bed back then, A sudden surge of anger, I don’t know why, erupted in my chest. Loudly, angrily, I yelled at the woman outside the room. “I don’t want it! Go away!” It was a long time before I heard the woman’s retreating footsteps outside. And the moment those footsteps disappeared, tears streamed down my scarred face. That night, I didn’t go out for dinner. Elara came to my door several times. Each time, I thought she was going to knock. But each time, she only stood at my door for a moment before leaving. It wasn’t until midnight that I suddenly saw a SnapChat post from her. “Hey ladies, any advice on how to communicate with a teenage daughter?” My fingers tightened around my phone. The word “daughter” hit me like a ton of bricks, stabbing deep into my heart. Ever since I was disfigured, Lorelei had never publicly acknowledged me as her daughter. Even when she took me out, she wouldn’t let me call her mom. When others asked, she would only introduce me as a relative’s child. When we were alone, she explained it to me. She said if people knew she was my mom, they would condemn her, saying what kind of mother lets her young child get so horribly burned. She also said that my disfigurement was all David’s fault. If David hadn’t cheated and divorced her, she wouldn’t have tried to take her own life, and I wouldn’t have become… this monster. So, I couldn’t guilt-trip her, my mother. If I wanted to hate someone, I should hate David. And hate the woman who was now posting on SnapChat, calling me her daughter.
I initially thought after I yelled at Elara yesterday, She wouldn’t bother with me anymore. After all, she and I were essentially rivals, and now I was like a burden, intruding on her happy family. But to my surprise, the next morning, she knocked on my room door again. First, she told me breakfast was by the door. I didn’t answer. Around mid-morning, she knocked again, saying she’d prepared some fruit for me and left it outside my door. I still didn’t answer. It wasn’t until almost noon that the door was knocked on again. I was incredibly annoyed. I climbed out of bed and went to open the door, ready to shout, when I saw the little boy standing there, looking pitifully, his eyes brimming with tears, holding an Ultraman figure. “Big sister, my Ultraman’s leg is broken! Mom won’t fix it for me, but she said you can!” With that, the little boy rushed forward and clung tightly to my leg. “Please, big sister, help me fix my Ultraman! My Ultraman is broken, I’m going to be so heartbroken!” My pant leg was smeared with the boy’s snot and tears. Just as I stood there, flustered, Elara stood at the end of the hallway, holding a spatula, yelling at me. “Aubrey, quickly go comfort your brother! He’s being so annoying!” “I’m cooking right now, I don’t have time!” With that, Elara disappeared back into the kitchen. My hands clenched slightly. It took me a few seconds to find my voice. “Give me the Ultraman.” The boy, like a seasoned actor, instantly stopped crying. Fearing he’d see my face and start crying again, I took two steps back, ready to close the door. The boy, however, zoomed past me, darted into the room, kicked off his shoes, and rolled twice on my bed. “Big sister, come here quickly! Fix my Ultraman on the bed!” My fingers tightened around the Ultraman figure again. But seeing that the boy hadn’t been scared into crying, I sat down sideways on the bed, my feet on the floor, my upper body stiff. As soon as I picked up the Ultraman, the boy suddenly launched himself into my arms. “Big sister, I want you to hold me while you fix it!” The sudden warmth against my chest made my body instantly tense. Even my fingers holding the Ultraman trembled. Ever since I was disfigured, I hadn’t had such close physical contact with anyone. After all, Lorelei wouldn’t even look at me after I was disfigured, let alone hug me. And everyone else just found me repulsive, a monster. They would even walk several feet away from me if we were on the same path. But before I could react, the boy kissed my scarred face. “Big sister, I like you.”
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