It was the third year of my marriage to Julian Blackwood when my marriage certificate, a faded old paper, accidentally got drenched in coffee. I barely noticed it until I went to the County Clerk’s office to get a new copy. The clerk behind the computer typed for a few seconds, then looked up at me, a strange expression on her face. “Ma’am, your marital status shows as single.” I froze, thinking I’d misheard. “That’s impossible. My husband and I got married right here three years ago.” She checked again, her expression turning even stranger. “The system confirms you’re unmarried. But Mr. Julian Blackwood… he’s marked as married.” I blinked. “His spouse is listed as another lady, Seraphina Hayes. Do you know who I am?” My mind went blank, a deafening ringing in my ears. Everyone knew I was his first love, his “dream girl,” the one he’d protected so fiercely since childhood. And Seraphina Hayes? She was just a stand-in, a replacement he found when I was abroad, because he supposedly missed me so much. … I clutched the coffee-stained, fake marriage certificate, my mind a hazy mess as I got into my car. My phone suddenly buzzed twice. A message from Julian popped up. “Babe, I blew off a multi-billion dollar deal and bought your favorite roses and strawberry cupcakes. Just wanted to come home early to you. I miss you so much. Do you miss me?” I stared at the message, then suddenly burst out laughing. Laughter turned to tears, streaming down my face. For three years, he’d asked me that every day, showering me with affection. But all this time… he’d secretly been legally married to someone else. I remembered when we were kids. Julian once climbed a ten-foot tree to get my kite down, fell, broke his right arm, but still smiled, handing me the kite. “Don’t cry, baby. It doesn’t hurt.” I remembered my fifteenth birthday. He stood outside my house all night in the pouring rain, just so he could be the first to wish me “Happy Birthday” when I woke up. I remembered my eighteenth birthday. He booked an entire amusement park, and under a sky full of fireworks, he knelt on one knee and asked, “Aubrey, when I turn twenty-two, will you marry me?” I remembered when I left for college abroad. He pinned me against the airport wall, his eyes red, voice trembling. “Two years. I’m only giving you two years. The moment it’s up, I’m coming to drag you back.” Those two years overseas, he’d video call me almost every day. Once, I was swamped with a paper and didn’t answer for three days. When I finally called back, I found out he’d drunk himself into the hospital. His eyes were bloodshot on the screen. “Babe, I can’t live without you.” I’d always soothe him. “I’ll be back soon, just wait a little longer.” The day I returned home, I didn’t tell Julian, wanting to surprise him. But when I pushed open the door to a private club suite, I saw him passionately kissing a girl. Her profile was a striking resemblance to mine. My bag **clattered** to the floor. I turned and walked out. Julian chased after me like a madman. I wouldn’t answer his calls, so he kept sending SnapChat messages. I wouldn’t see him, so he stood outside my house in the rain, explaining over and over. “It’s not what you think!” “You wouldn’t let me visit you all these years, I missed you too much, that’s why I found a stand-in…” “I swear, it was just hugging and kissing. Nothing else!” “Aubrey, I messed up, but I really loved you to the point of madness…” Finally, after he stood in the rain for three days and nights, collapsed with high fever and pneumonia, and refused to leave the hospital, my heart softened, and I forgave him. After that, he was as good to me as he’d always been. Until after we got married, when I found out his new assistant was Seraphina Hayes. The “stand-in” he said he’d sent away. He explained again, “Her parents weren’t well and had trouble adjusting to life away from the city. They cried and begged her to come back.” “I had no idea it was her when I interviewed for the assistant role.” “She’s good at her job, went through all the selections. I can’t just fire her.” So I tolerated it again. And I kept tolerating it, until I became the biggest joke of all. By the time my car pulled into the gated community, my tears had dried. I took a deep breath, about to push the door open, when I heard Julian and his friend talking in the living room. “I just went to the hospital. Seraphina’s fine, just a scratch. You can relax here with me.” Julian leaned back on the sofa, two buttons of his black shirt undone, his long legs crossed. He frowned and extinguished the cigarette in his friend’s hand. His voice was low and cold. “How many times have I told you? No smoking in my house. Aubrey hates the smell of smoke.” “Alright, alright, you big softie,” his friend teased, laughing. “But I really don’t get it. You clearly love Aubrey so much, why did you have to marry Seraphina back then? Honestly, wasn’t she more than just a stand-in?” The air was silent for a few seconds. Then, Julian’s low voice drifted through— “What if she was?” “I used to think she was just a stand-in, that I wouldn’t need her once Aubrey came back.” “But after I sent her away, I dreamt of her almost every night.” “Eventually, I couldn’t stand not having her around, so I brought her back as my assistant.” “I can’t live without Aubrey, but Seraphina… I can’t let her go either.” “Aubrey gets my open affection, Seraphina can only be in the shadows. What’s wrong with giving her a name, a status, as compensation?” His friend sighed. “Aren’t you afraid Aubrey finds out? Knowing her, if she ever did, she wouldn’t look back even if you died in front of her.” Julian paused, his throat bobbing. “Then she’ll never know.” I stood outside the door, my blood turning to ice. I thought I’d collapse in tears, but not a single one would fall. This was what true agony felt like. My heart felt like a piece had been brutally carved out, yet it still had to beat.
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