After my abortion

We’ve been married for four years, and my husband Raymond Lambert never updated his social media, but that day he posted on Instagram for the first time: “You’re such a greedy kitty cat.” The picture showed a girl wearing a pink cat ear headband, eating spicy Buffalo wings, her cheeks flushed red as she kept sticking out her tongue. That was Sheila Jones, the new streamer Raymond’s company had just hired. In less than a minute, our mutual friend commented: “Raymond, you forgot to switch accounts!” Immediately, Raymond’s post disappeared like a fleeting moment, but soon reappeared on Sheila’s Twitter homepage. Afterward, Raymond called me. In the past, I would have immediately taken screenshots, then called to question him. We would definitely have argued until we were both exhausted. However, this time I didn’t answer, deliberately waiting for the call to end automatically. ***** When Raymond came home, I had almost fallen asleep on the sofa. He took off his coat and bent down to change his shoes. “Why didn’t you answer my call?” Raymond rarely questioned me unless he felt he had done something wrong. I responded perfunctorily, without even looking up at him, “I happened to be asleep and didn’t hear it.” “I had to work overtime, so I came back late. You don’t need to wait for me every time, it makes you look desperate.” In the past, I would have loudly emphasized to Raymond that it was because I loved him, but now I no longer felt the need to argue with him. Raymond handed me a square velvet box, gesturing for me to open it. That day was when Raymond’s company went public. To celebrate, I had left work early as usual and personally cooked dinner waiting for him to come home. However, even after waiting until midnight, I didn’t see Raymond who had promised to come home early. I pretended not to smell the strong barbecue scent on him, took the box, and casually placed it on the coffee table. Actually, I had seen this box before when Raymond missed my birthday, and the letter pattern on it hadn’t changed much. Raymond stared at the box for a while, slightly frowning, his tone gloomy: “Evelyn, stop being difficult, okay?” Giving me jewelry as a gift was Raymond’s usual way of saving face. As long as I accepted the gift, any unpleasantness between us would be covered up, and no one would mention it again. But now, I didn’t want to play along anymore, so of course he would be angry. “Let me put it on for you.” Not giving me a chance to refuse, Raymond opened the box, took out the bracelet inside, and tried to put it on me, but when he saw I already had an identical bracelet on my wrist, he froze. “Put it back. Go to bed early, you have work tomorrow.” I withdrew my hand, got up from the sofa, and prepared to go back to the bedroom to sleep. “How about I have my assistant accompany you to pick a new one another day?” I responded coldly: “You don’t need to do that.”

Perhaps Raymond felt guilty for buying me two identical gifts, so he suggested I go to the company with him. Since I was pregnant and didn’t want to drive, I didn’t refuse him. The next day, Raymond stood in front of his car, frowning deeply. I didn’t know when Raymond started hating me riding in his car, especially not allowing me to sit in the passenger seat, even forcing me to buy a new car. Maybe it was because I once argued with him like a lunatic to claim his passenger seat, making him feel annoyed. In contrast, to pick up and drop off Sheila, Raymond now deliberately placed many cat-patterned plush toys in the car, stuck cute doodle stickers everywhere, and even redesigned the passenger seat just to make the petite Sheila comfortable. Seeing me waiting on the side, Raymond finally opened the door, bent down and put the plush toys in the back seat. I noticed his reluctance, so I frowned and said: “Forget it, I’ll go to the company myself.” Raymond threw the last cat toy to the back seat: “Let’s go together. Sheila is still a young girl, she just likes these little things. Don’t mind it.”Looking at the pink seat in his car that seemed so out of place, I still felt very repulsed, so I declined his kindness. I turned to open my own car door, but Raymond strode over to block me, and directly sat in my driver’s seat. “I’ll drive. We already agreed to go together.” I stared at Raymond for a long time, just in time to catch a glimpse of discomfort in his eyes.So he did know that decorating the passenger seat like that wasn’t appropriate. Raymond seemed to want to explain, but I urged, “I’m going to be late. Drive.” Finally, he pursed his lips and started the car. While waiting at a red light, his phone rang. I immediately recognized it as Sheila’s special ringtone. A pitiful voice came through Raymond’s phone, accompanied by faint sobbing. “Ray, my stomach hurts. I think I ate something bad yesterday. Take me to the hospital. Ray, please come quickly, I’m begging you.” After hanging up, Raymond didn’t even glance at me or say another word. He simply turned the steering wheel, pulled over to the side of the road, and quickly unbuckled my seatbelt. He said firmly, “My employee isn’t feeling well, I need to check on her. We’re almost at the company, you can walk the rest of the way.” Before I could even close the car door after getting out, Raymond had already driven off and disappeared.

Honestly, no one would walk to work in this situation. When the red light turned green, a man on an electric scooter probably didn’t expect me to be crossing the zebra crossing, and he collided with me head-on as he turned. My hands, feet, and forehead all had varying degrees of abrasions. The nurse treated my wounds, put a bandage on my forehead, and instructed, “Try not to get the wounds wet for the next few days, don’t take baths, and apply medication on time.” After leaving the hospital, I took a taxi to the company. The taxi driver had two phones mounted—one for navigation and the other playing Sheila’s livestream. The real-time comments were all about concern for Sheila. Sheila said, “Thank you all for your concern. I’m fine. Fortunately, Ray arrived in time, so I didn’t need to go to the hospital.” “No, I haven’t told Ray how I feel about him yet. Stop it! Ray is right here watching me. Yes, Ray is very gentle.” I looked down at my phone and saw two angry, impatient messages on WhatsApp. Raymond: [My assistant told me you didn’t attend today’s project planning meeting. Where are you? Get to the office now.] Raymond: [You’re just walking a short distance by yourself. What could possibly be so difficult about that?] Raymond was always such a hypocrite. That evening, after applying medicine to my wounds, I sat on the sofa watching TV. Just then, I heard the sound of the digital lock being opened behind me, followed by Raymond’s mocking voice, “I thought you had improved, not throwing tantrums for days, but I never expected you’d do this.” Perhaps the TV was too loud; Raymond quickly strode over and yanked the plug out. “Evelyn, have you lost your mind? We’ve been preparing for this project meeting for half a month. Do you know how much money the company will lose because of the delay?” I looked up at his angry face, and he froze. Seeing the bandage on my forehead and the visible wounds, he frowned, “You’re hurt?” I turned away and said casually, “It’s nothing. I was just hit by an electric scooter on my way to work.” Raymond’s eyes darted around guiltily as he approached to examine my wounds. “Why didn’t you call me?” I avoided his hand and smiled indifferently, “This little injury is nothing. I figured your employee was more important.” I thought: “Would calling him have helped? He would have just answered to blame and complain without asking why I called. Did he ever really care what I wanted to say on the phone? I couldn’t get him to come before, how could I possibly now?” Raymond was stung by my words. He stood up and sneered, “Evelyn, do you have to put it that way? It was wrong of me to leave you by the roadside, but what are you, a helpless little girl? You even managed to get hit by an electric scooter while walking.” I stared at him silently, thinking: “See? Even when I’m simply stating my thoughts, he mocks me for being immature.” I decided not to engage with Raymond and got up to return to the bedroom. Noticing my difficulty walking, Raymond sighed and came over to support me. “Tonight I’ll sleep with you, and I’ll take care of you.”Raymond hadn’t gone to bed before midnight for a long time. Sheila was afraid of being criticized by followers in her livestream community to the point of falling into depression, so she needed Raymond by her side constantly. Every night, Raymond would work in his study while watching Sheila’s livestream and other content creators. This had become their nightly routine.And he would occasionally connect with the livestreamer for sweet interactions. I had a fight with Raymond, and no matter what, I couldn’t change his mind. Raymond firmly believed he was just working. In the end, he threatened me with divorce, so I had to compromise. I didn’t refuse his proposal. However, when he tried to embrace me, I said softly, “Raymond, let’s get divorced.”   My divorce proposal had a big impact on Raymond. Raymond left home in anger and didn’t come back for a whole week. This was his usual approach when I made him angry, which showed he didn’t care about what I said at all. In the past, when he gave me the cold shoulder like this, I would only feel mentally and physically tortured and unable to sleep, and I would repeatedly call him to apologize, humbly begging for his forgiveness. However, now I was busy looking for a new job and had no time to worry about him. After all, I couldn’t possibly continue working at Raymond’s company after our divorce. That day, as soon as I got off work, Raymond called me. His reaching out first was his way of offering me an olive branch. If I refused, I would be the unreasonable one. “We met our performance targets for the first half of the year, and there’s a party for the business department tonight. Let’s go together later.” I waited at the company entrance for nearly twenty minutes before Raymond finally arrived with Sheila. “Evelyn, I get carsick, so Ray let me sit in the passenger seat. You don’t mind, do you?” Raymond gripped the steering wheel tightly, nervously watching me, afraid that I would lash out at Sheila if I got angry. Instead, I calmly opened the back door. After all, his passenger seat wasn’t meant for me anyway. Listening to Sheila flirting with Raymond throughout the journey, I just quietly looked out the window. Raymond, however, was unusually gloomy toward Sheila, not saying much, occasionally glancing at me in the rearview mirror. When we arrived at the hotel, Raymond’s good friend Nathan Fillion came out to greet us, looking very polite. “Evelyn, long time no see. Look at me, I’ve been so busy I forgot to send you a message.” Nathan was Raymond’s good friend and knew everything about his situation. If Raymond wanted to bring Sheila, he wouldn’t have asked me to come along, because I would always make things awkward for Raymond. “It’s fine. I’ll be leaving in a bit.” Nathan looked surprised, hesitated for a moment, but said nothing. After the party started, Raymond held his glass, greeted everyone, then sat down beside me with a piece of cake. “Have something to eat. You didn’t have lunch this afternoon, so you’re probably hungry now.” Just as I was about to refuse, Sheila came over with her phone. She was livestreaming. “Ray, there you are! I couldn’t find you.” “Oh, are you talking about Evelyn? She didn’t eat dinner tonight, so Ray brought her a small cake.” “Ray and I are not a couple.” I quickly dodged her camera and got up to leave. Then, I stood on the corridor balcony to get some fresh air. Shortly after, Raymond followed me and said in an anxious tone, “I didn’t expect Sheila to livestream. What she says in her livestream isn’t true; I just play along when I connect with her.” “I’ve already asked her to stop.” I nodded indifferently and turned to go back to the party. The director was on stage talking about the company’s future blueprint. Sheila walked up to me with a glass of champagne, clinked her glass with mine, and gave me a sweet yet seductive smile. “Evelyn, my fans all say Ray and I are a perfect match. Do you think he loves you more or me?” I turned and replied, “You should ask him, but I think he might love you more.” Sheila narrowed her eyes, leaned closer to me, and smiled, “Really? I think so too.” I felt something was wrong and wanted to step back, but I didn’t expect Sheila to have already fallen backward onto the ground. Before I could react, someone forcefully pushed my shoulder. My lower back hit the edge of the table hard, and the drinks on the table spilled everywhere.I suddenly felt an intense pain in my lower abdomen, so severe it made me dizzy and disoriented. I struggled to hold onto the table, clutching my lower abdomen as I felt warm liquid trickling down my thighs. Raymond worriedly helped Sheila to her feet and, disregarding all the onlookers, yelled at me furiously, “Evelyn, when will you ever stop being crazy? You…”Seeing me bleeding, he seemed to remember something. His eyes widened in disbelief as he asked in a trembling voice, “Are you pregnant?” Raymond frantically pulled out his phone, intending to call an ambulance. Sheila grabbed his hand and carefully took a sanitary pad from her purse, offering it to me. “Evelyn, is it your period? You should change this.” Raymond stopped dialing and silently looked at me for a few seconds. Then, embarrassed, he tossed the sanitary pad from Sheila’s hand onto my lap. “Go take care of it quickly. Don’t make a scene here.” With that, he took Sheila’s hand and left. Whenever Sheila was around, we couldn’t even maintain a facade of decency. I struggled to walk outside and, fighting through the pain, took out my phone to call my best friend, Mia Davis. “Mia, can you come pick me up and take me to the hospital?” I closed my eyes, my voice hoarse. “I think I’m having a miscarriage.” As soon as I finished speaking, intense dizziness overwhelmed me. I heard hurried footsteps and anxious voices nearby. My vision went black, and I collapsed into a warm embrace.

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