It was three years after my death. Julian finally started looking for new love. But every single time, he’d bring Lily along, and he’d constantly bring up mundane kid stuff, like baby food recipes and diaper brands. It infuriated his dates, who’d storm out in a huff, and every attempt ended in spectacular failure. I was so annoyed, I wanted to cause some mischief, just to spook him a little. But then Lily just pointed at me, blinking. “Daddy, there’s…” Before she could finish, Julian peeled a shrimp, popped it into her mouth, and didn’t even glance my way. “There’s nothing there.” Huh? Was there something around me? I looked left and right, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Whatever. I slowly drifted closer to them. Just in time to see Julian slip the wedding ring off his left ring finger and put it in his pocket. Good. He finally remembered he was here to find a new partner. After all, no one likes a man who can’t get over his deceased ex-wife. I floated around Lily, making several silly faces at Julian, but they didn’t react. Looks like they couldn’t see me. So, I simply floated into the empty seat next to the woman. She seemed quite pleased with Julian, a faint smile playing on her lips. “I can accept the child. But in return, on the prenuptial agreement, I’ll need compensation in other areas.” Honestly, aside from having a kid, Julian was quite a catch. He was the sole heir to two powerful corporations. Six foot one, broad shoulders, narrow waist, smooth and dangerously handsome. When we were kids, his face made me go easy on him a few times; I’d only leave a few bruises on his back. Julian finished peeling the last shrimp, putting it in Lily’s bowl. Then he leisurely wiped his hands, his tone casual. “No problem.” “But every night, I sleep clutching a framed photo of my late wife. And every week, I spend three hours in the shower performing rituals for her memory. Oh, and no white clothes, it’s bad luck.” Silence fell over the woman. Her gaze then landed on Julian’s white shirt under his suit, and she gritted her teeth. “So, what color is your shirt? A kaleidoscope of white?” She was too polite. If it were me, I’d already be tearing into him. Julian looked somewhat surprised. “Oh, this is white? My apologies, I’m colorblind.” Ha! What a load of BS. Finally, the woman reached her breaking point, grabbed her bag, and stood to leave. Lily hopped off her chair, waving her little hand with practiced ease. “I’m sorry, Auntie. Grandma says Daddy’s a bit… slow.”
The date was over. Julian drove Lily home. In the car, Lily, full and content, was dozing off in the back seat. I gently, virtually, wrapped my arms around her. She was five now. Growing more and more like Julian, except for the shallow dimples at the corners of her mouth – those were mine. It was such a pity. I only got to spend two years with her. My chest felt hollow. Ghosts can’t cry. It’s truly annoying. I looked up, and my gaze met Julian’s in the rearview mirror. He glanced, then quickly shifted his focus back to the road ahead. I floated to the front passenger seat, stretching like I used to. “You’re not getting any younger, Julian. Find someone before you’re completely unmarketable. While you’ve still got *it*, just get yourself hitched!” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the wedding ring back on Julian’s left ring finger. I didn’t know when he’d put it on again. “Oh, wow.” I leaned closer, examining it. “When we custom-ordered these diamond rings, you said it was ‘just okay.’ Why are you treating it like a treasure now?” “Heh, I guess now that you’re older, you’re all talk, huh?” As expected, no response. I was just talking to myself. Boring. Julian and I used to bicker constantly, and it made me quite fond of playful arguments. Now that I was a ghost, it was truly dull being alone in the mortal realm. I just stared out the window, lost in thought. Suddenly, I heard Julian whisper. “Think I’m old?” I didn’t quite catch it and leaned in curiously. “What mumbling? You sound like a buzzing mosquito.” Julian said nothing more, just a quick, fleeting curve of his lips. So weird. Just as it quieted down, Julian’s phone rang. It was a FaceTime call from the group chat, “The Lily Keepers’ Alliance.” I’d named it that myself, back in the day. He answered, and four people were already in the call: my parents and Julian’s parents. “Julian, how did the meeting go today?” That was my mom, Brenda.
Our families have known each other for generations, practically lived next door. So Julian and I grew up together, always. But we were the wild, chaotic kind of kids. I’d climb a tree, and he’d kick the trunk; he’d go swimming, and I’d hide his towel. Basically, we were rivals from day one. As adults, we each inherited our family businesses, and we’d constantly try to outmaneuver each other in the corporate world, just to prove who was stronger. But fate, or our parents, decided we were destined to be together. They arranged our marriage. Since we didn’t exactly *hate* each other, we went through with it. Lily was born a year after we married. Three years into our marriage, I died. After my death, the burden of both the Chloe and Julian family corporations fell squarely on Julian’s shoulders. He also had both sets of parents to care for and a child to raise. He did incredibly well. He didn’t take advantage of the situation to absorb my family’s company, and he treated my parents and Lily with immense kindness. So, he’d mourned me for three years. By any measure, that was more than enough. My parents couldn’t bear to see him alone for the rest of his life, and I’d even mentioned it in one of his dreams. So, they recently started setting him up with other women. Sigh. People always have to move forward. Ghosts too. Julian smiled, his voice gentle. “Mom, this can’t be rushed. I’m driving Lily home right now, so let’s chat later.” My mom sighed. “You, kid. Alright, alright. Just remember to come over for dinner next week with Lily, okay?” Julian agreed, then fell silent. Both sets of parents chatted for a few more minutes until the car pulled into the neighborhood before hanging up. Julian scooped Lily from the back seat, holding her against him. On the way, he gently patted her, his voice softer than a summer breeze. “My little one, we’re home. How about a nice bath before bed?” I floated behind him, watching Lily slowly open her eyes. She’d always had a sweet temperament, never waking up grumpy. Perhaps because her parents were both like gunpowder, they ended up with a child who was a living fire extinguisher. “Daddy, Mommy’s here.” Lily rubbed her eyes, trying to keep them open, but they soon drooped half-shut again. Julian didn’t stop. “Yes, Mommy’s always here.”
The house was still the same as three years ago, hardly changed. My favorite figurines and plushies were all in their usual spots, and my clothes still hung in the closet. Even the bedding set on our bedroom bed was still the one I’d picked out. Julian… he was quite sentimental. I floated beside them, listening to Julian tell Lily a bedtime story. He was much better at it than three years ago; it didn’t take long for Lily to drift off to sleep. When Lily slept, she hugged the cherry-print pajamas I’d bought her. My heart ached seeing that. I lay down beside her on the bed, pulling her into a virtual embrace. Why couldn’t I touch her? Being a ghost was truly frustrating. I needed to ask an angel if there was any way, even just to touch her once. If money could buy it, it wasn’t a problem. These past few years, I’d taken on all sorts of odd jobs in Heaven. With that money, I’d teamed up with other wealthy ghost-ladies to start a real estate empire in Heaven. Now, I was the richest ghost in Heaven. This chance to come back and stay for several days was a privilege I’d earned by saving money for three years, plus paying a hefty sum. All just for one last look at them before I reincarnated. I didn’t stay by Lily’s side for too long. A ghost, after all, might not be good for her. So, I secretly – no, I mean openly – floated into the bathroom. Julian was showering. In the misty steam, streams of water cascaded over every muscle and contour of his body, tinting his skin with a soft blush. Three years. This body was still so damn attractive. I swallowed, watching him from behind, then from the side, and finally, I just brazenly floated right in front of him. Julian braced one hand against the wall, raking his wet hair back from his forehead. “Chloe, you died too soon. We never even finished your ‘100 Positions for the Bathroom’ list.” He chuckled, staring directly in my direction, as if truly speaking to me. My spectral face flushed. I immediately started swearing. “You jerk! I’ve been dead for three years! Can you have some damn decency? Seriously, just a little?” After my outburst, I quickly left the bathroom. This was getting too hot. I remembered when Julian and I were in bed. We never really compromised. He’d pin me down and try to make me call him “sir.” I’d bite him and demand he call me “ma’am.” To get the upper hand, I specifically researched “100 Positions for the Bathroom,” determined to dominate him. I never expected. That jerk actually gave in for the first time, praising my ‘research.’ He even told me to look up positions for the bedroom, living room, kitchen… Ugh, so annoying.
After his shower, Julian was half-reclined on the bed, reading a parenting guide. He was wearing his glasses, a rare sight. Even with glasses, he still looked like a devilishly charming rogue. I floated beside him, watching him closely. Still handsome, but there were a few more fine lines around his eyes. “Being a ghost has its perks. Your appearance is frozen at the age you died, so I’m still super young.” Saying that, I floated onto Julian, settling myself on his lap and gazing at him. “Hehe, so you’re much older than me now. You’re not worthy! How about that? I win this round, don’t I?” Julian suddenly closed his book and took off his glasses. Then he closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. “Chloe, how could you be so cruel? You’ve only visited me in my dreams once in three years.” His voice sounded so weary, like he was genuinely blaming me. And he wasn’t wrong. I really had only visited his dreams once. And that time, I was furious, telling him he absolutely had to mourn me, for at least three years. He looked thoughtful, then laughed, his eyes red. “So, if I found someone new right away, would you be mad enough to come back to life?” Without a doubt, I beat him up in that dream. I hadn’t been back in his dreams since. Thinking about it, I mumbled to myself. “Isn’t it because I’m afraid my charm is too great? If I visited your dreams often, you might never forget me.” “After all, I’m not saying I was the most beautiful woman in the country, but certainly top tier in the state. Guys lined up for miles to marry me. I only picked you because you seemed easy to handle.” Saying that, I leaned into Julian, pretending to pinch his cheek. “Understand?” But he suddenly opened his eyes, looking directly in my direction. He let out a soft chuckle. “Oh? You really think you’re that irresistible?”
My heart pounded twice—if I still had a heart. Could Julian see me? But if the spirit authorities found out I could be seen by mortals, they’d immediately send me back to the underworld. All my efforts would be for nothing. However, the next second, Julian spoke again. “Been hanging there for three years, aren’t you tired? Maybe I should put someone else up there?” That’s when I realized he was talking to our wedding photo, hanging on the wall behind me. In the picture, I was faking a smile, while Julian had a subtle smirk. I immediately got angry. “Oh, so you’ve wanted to find a new wife for ages, but those blind dates just weren’t good enough, huh?” But after saying it, I felt stupid. I was the one who told my parents to set him up, and I was the one who wanted him to find a new partner. Yet hearing him say that still hurt. It was bad enough being conflicted when I was alive; why was my ghost self still fighting with both sides of my brain? Ugh. So annoyed, I made several more faces at Julian. I even mimicked my gruesome death to try and scare him. Julian suddenly looked away from the wedding photo, burying his face back in his book. Just then, his phone rang. I glanced at it. It was a call from Noah. He was a friend we’d grown up with, always mild-mannered. When Julian and I used to fight as kids, Noah would often try to mediate, only to inexplicably end up getting hit the most. Julian answered the phone, and Noah’s familiar gentle voice instantly came through. “Julian, a friend recommended a pretty reputable therapist for you. Take your medication—” His words were cut off. “Busy. Gotta go.” Julian hung up abruptly. I froze for a moment, a single question swirling in my mind: Why did Julian need to see a therapist? After floating in circles for a while, I decided to visit Noah’s dream and ask him. Because with Julian’s personality, even if I visited his dream and asked, he’d definitely lie to save face.
Noah said Julian had PTSD and severe depression, needing to take a lot of medication just to sleep. I was shocked. But on second thought, it made sense. After all, Julian had witnessed the attack and my death firsthand. Anyone normal would be traumatized by that. But he always acted so nonchalant and easygoing, hiding it so well that everyone overlooked it. Noah also said Julian planned to die once Lily was grown and independent. I fell silent. No way. So, I went back to Heaven and asked an angel to lend me something.
I was determined to find Julian a reliable partner. So, after returning to the mortal realm, I spent several days observing Julian. And Maya. Maya used to be my secretary. She’d just transitioned to a permanent position when we were both attacked. Then I, her boss, died, and Julian took over the company. Now, she was in the lounge, playing with Lily and her toy BBQ set. “Your daddy will be done with his meeting soon, just a little longer, okay?” Saying that, she pulled a small box from her pocket, opened it, and inside was a necklace. It looked expensive, at least several months of her salary. Maya put the necklace around Lily’s neck, tucking it inside her shirt. “May little Lily have a peaceful life.” Though Lily didn’t understand the value of the jade, she politely said, “Thank you, Auntie.” Then she softly asked, “Auntie, can I hug you?” Maya paused, then slightly opened her arms. Lily immediately rushed over, pressing her ear to Maya’s chest. “It’s beating so fast!” Maya’s eyes suddenly welled up. Just then, the lounge door opened, and Julian walked in. “Thank you for your trouble.” “Someone from East River is trying to poach you, aren’t they? If the position and compensation are right, you should consider it. I’ve told you before, you don’t need to stay at Skyward out of a sense of gratitude or guilt.” …Why was he so cold? Maya stood up, ramrod straight, and replied, “Understood, Mr. Stone.” Julian nodded, then started packing up Lily’s things. Maya watched his retreating back, murmuring softly, “Actually, it’s not entirely because of those things…” She liked Julian, but for some complicated reasons, she dared not say it. I saw it. That’s why I’d been observing her thoroughly for the past few days. I found that not only did she continue to excel at her job, but she also knew Julian’s private preferences. She knew his coffee always had only half a spoon of sugar, knew he preferred dark ties… Most importantly, she was genuinely kind to Lily. And besides, my heart was beating in her chest. Julian, too, truly needed to let go of his feelings for me and live his life. Sigh. It was up to me to make this happen. I slowly pulled out a string. It was a red string of fate. Once tied, Julian would forget his feelings for me and fall for Maya.
I tied one end of the red string around Maya’s wrist. Then I floated over to Julian, intending to tie it on him too. But as I moved to do it, I hesitated for a long time. Just as I finally gathered my resolve and tried to loop the red string onto his wrist, I heard him ask Maya: “How are the preparations for our wedding going?” *Their* wedding? What did he mean? Were they already engaged, not needing a red string of fate? Startled, the red string slipped from my hand. I still hadn’t tied it on him. Maya immediately replied, “It’s 100% complete, as you requested, a traditional style. The on-site photos and promotional plan are already on your desk, Mr. Stone…” It turned out they were talking about work. I rolled my eyes for a moment, intending to resume tying the red string on Julian. But he just happened to turn, picking up Lily, and walked out of the lounge. So I missed. And the string wouldn’t work if they weren’t in the same space. I was fuming, chasing Julian and yelling, “Ahhh, it was almost done! You could have forgotten me, you jerk!” He inexplicably paused his steps, then continued walking. I was about to keep ranting when an irritating phone ringtone suddenly blared in my ear. “Satan’s coming to claim your soul! Satan’s coming to claim your soul!” That’s right, even Heaven has Wi-Fi, and ghosts have phones. With a trembling hand, I pulled out my phone from thin air. As soon as I answered, the angry roar on the other end nearly burst my eardrums. “Is your mortal realm business taken care of?! I finally stole this red string of fate from Cupid’s pocket, hurry up and use it before it’s discovered!” “You’re almost three years dead! Exceeding three years means not only no reincarnation, but your soul will vanish! Don’t drag this out! Also! You *must* be back for your check-up the day after tomorrow!” I held the phone away from my ear, nodding emphatically. “Yes, yes, almost done, almost! Don’t worry, I’ll definitely be there the day after tomorrow!” After finally hanging up, I sighed. “How can I *not* worry?” I circled Julian and Lily anxiously several times. Finally, I muttered to myself, “No, I need to visit his dream tonight and talk to him properly.”
I entered Julian’s dream for the second time. In the dream, he stood in a tuxedo at our wedding venue, but the chapel was empty save for him. As I approached, I saw him raise an eyebrow. “Finally decided to show up? You’d rather go to Noah’s dream than mine?” I let out an awkward laugh. “Haha, well, here I am.” Then I caught myself. “Noah still told you, didn’t he? Damn it, I knew he always sided with you!” Julian smiled helplessly, looking a bit haggard. He pulled me into his embrace. He didn’t say anything, just held me. I felt a little unaccustomed. After being a ghost for so long, the last time I touched Julian was ages ago. And after three years apart, it just felt… strange. Thinking that, I found a topic. “Your illness—” I hadn’t expected to only get three words out before he silenced me with a kiss. Wow. His lips were warm! Of course, I hadn’t exactly been kissing any cold lips in the underworld. My ghost-girlfriends always dragged me to meet ghost male models, but I always refused. Mainly, their quality was poor. They weren’t as handsome as Julian, and they didn’t have his… *assets*. I guess once you’ve had the best, you can’t go back to basics. But even after three years, Julian’s kissing skills were as powerful as ever. Soon, he had me so weak-kneed I could barely stand. Just as I was wondering if he’d been practicing with someone. Julian wrapped one hand around my waist, lifting me to sit on a pristine white table. Instantly, the scent of desserts and fresh flowers filled the air around us. And he finally pulled away from my lips, his voice low and husky. “I’ve mourned you for three years. You need to compensate me properly.” With that, he tilted his head back, kissing me again. His hands were restless. I quickly clasped his hands, my face flushing. “Julian! This is a chapel! Even if no one’s here, but—” “What? Scared? You were pretty brave when you looked up ‘100 Positions for the Outdoors,’ weren’t you?” His eyes lifted, tinged with a faint red. “Or are you saying, even as a ghost, you’re not as adventurous as me?” Hearing that, I instantly got fired up. “How could that be! I’ve learned so much in Heaven! Just you wait!” In a rush of adrenaline, I used everything my ghost-girlfriends in Heaven had taught me on him.
A long while later, the chapel was a mess. Cakes and desserts were scattered on the floor, and flowers lay crushed everywhere. I lay with my head in Julian’s lap, tickling his face with a flower petal. “Julian, if only we hadn’t gotten married, you wouldn’t have had to—” “Had to what for you?” He sighed, a soft laugh in his voice. “Chloe, whether we married or not doesn’t matter. I’ve always loved you. For a very, very long time.” I froze for a moment. The flower petals in my hand fell onto my face. Suddenly, many images of Julian popped into my mind. Julian, who laughed at me for failing to climb a fence, then pulled a band-aid from his backpack; Julian, who was supposed to go to America but inexplicably ended up in England, studying abroad with me; Julian, who added a clause to my twenty-page prenuptial agreement: “penalty for running away from home is sharing a bed for six months”; Julian, who, even after we married, would video call me if he was away for just one day, calling it his “husbandly duty.” It turned out his love had always been evident everywhere, but I was just too dense to see it. The Julian before me picked up a petal and flicked my forehead. “Idiot.” I sniffled, burying my head deeper into Julian’s lap. “Okay, I admit I’m a *little* bit of an idiot.” His voice was tinged with amusement. “Chloe, you actually gave in.” I let out a soft “Hmph,” and after a moment, said, “Julian, don’t you dare commit suicide.” He fell silent for a moment, then let out a cold laugh. “Dream on. Maybe one day I’ll meet someone beautiful and forget all about you.” “Julian, why are you still such a big talker?” I reached up and buttoned his open shirt. “But you really should try dating. Don’t always dwell on me. After all, you won’t find another perfect person like me in this world.” He caught my hand, teasing, “How did your skin get even thicker after becoming a ghost?” I rolled my eyes, then grew serious again. “Julian, take good care of Mom, Dad, and Lily.” “Mind your business. You think I need you to tell me?” “Put all my things away, don’t keep them in the house.” “It’s my house, I decide.” I bit the back of his hand hard. “Burn all those ‘100 Positions’ books! They’re ruining my reputation!” He smiled playfully. “Why burn them? I might still use them with someone else.” “…” I gritted my teeth. “Julian, you shameless jerk!” He bent down, examining me closely. “So particular, are we? Then why do you keep wanting me to find someone else?” My voice was muffled. “It’s different.” “Julian, I’m serious.” “Get well, let me go, and don’t commit suicide.” He fell silent again. I don’t know how long the quiet lasted before I spoke. “I won’t bother you anymore. You have to take Lily to Mom and Dad’s for dinner tomorrow.” With that, I tried to leave. But Julian pulled me back into his embrace, holding me tightly. “Chloe, just a little longer.” This time, I heard it. He was crying.
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