I was the extra kid in my family, the one who didn’t quite fit. My sister, Victoria, was a beauty queen, and my brother, Daniel, was the valedictorian of his high school, the smartest kid in the whole state. Me? I was just… ordinary. The only award I ever won was a participation ribbon in kindergarten. On my eighteenth birthday, I wished to my parents that this New Year’s, I could see the ocean, down south where it’s warm. When winter break came, Mom and Dad proudly showed off the plane tickets they’d already booked. Upon arrival, Daniel and Victoria cheered at the sight of the snow in the North. We stayed at a guesthouse for several days. On New Year’s Day, I woke up early and knocked on my parents’ door, only to find it empty. I checked my phone and saw a picture of them having their New Year’s Eve dinner, a happy family feast. That’s when I realized they had gone home last night. I stood in front of the empty room, a little lost. My first thought was, *What did I do wrong?* Before I could find an answer, footsteps echoed on the stairs behind me. It was Mr. Peterson, the guesthouse owner, coming up. I instinctively apologized, “I’m so sorry, I overslept. I didn’t realize my parents left last night.” Mr. Peterson’s face instantly hardened. I immediately lowered my head, bracing myself for a harsh dressing-down. But the scolding I expected never came. Instead, a large hand gently patted my head, stroking twice, not too hard, not too soft. “How could parents be so careless? Leaving their child behind when they go on vacation? Come on, tell me your parents’ number. I’ll call them and tell them to come back and pick you up!” Feeling the warmth on my head, for some reason, a lie just slipped out: “Don’t call them! This is a challenge my parents left me, to see if I can survive on my own now that I’m an adult.” But I rarely lied, and I nervously looked up, meeting his concerned gaze. “Can you let me stay? I can cook, and I’ll help with chores!” Mr. Peterson frowned, still insistent. “No, we have to contact your parents.” I pulled my ID card from behind my phone case and knelt directly in front of him. “If my parents were worried about me, they’d send me money to get back home. I’m an adult, I can take responsibility for my actions. Please, just don’t send me away!” This wasn’t the first time my parents had left me behind. And I knew that if I contacted them, they would either come back for me or book me a return ticket. But every time I reappeared, safe and sound, their brief flicker of guilt would vanish. Even once, when I told them I almost got lost and taken by strangers, they just told me to stick closer next time I went out. Many times, I wondered if they hated me. Later, I learned it wasn’t hate, just a lack of love. It was barely a fraction of what Victoria and Daniel received. After all, I was just an extra kid, with no special qualities, no reason to keep around. What right did I have to be compared to them? Maria, the guesthouse owner’s wife, was a young woman from the South. When she heard my story, and then that I was the third child in my family, she looked at me with a complex expression and sighed softly. “Working here doesn’t pay much. It’s just sixty bucks a day, but it includes room and board. Are you okay with that?” I stared at her, astonished, then nodded with all my strength. Just being taken in was a luxury, and to get paid? I never expected that. I already had it all planned out. Once I saved up enough money, maybe next holiday, I could go see the ocean down south for real!
“Alright, come on, let’s get to work! First, let’s put up the New Year’s banners!” Mr. Peterson’s voice pulled me back to reality. I looked up at him, incredulous. “I’m allowed to put up the banners?” He frowned, as if he wanted to roll his eyes, but held back. “What’s ‘allowed’ got to do with it? Just get it done quickly so we can eat.” I took the new banners. The red paper smelled of fresh ink, but holding them, it felt unreal. At home, setting up for the holidays – putting up decorations, hanging lanterns – it all had rules. My brother, being the boy, was always the one allowed to do it. My sister, with her good grades and pretty face, was deemed worthy of that honor. I carefully put up the banners. As soon as I finished, a hand pulled me inside. The dining table was laden with steaming dumplings, and a group of people were huddled together, yet they’d left a space for me. I froze. During holidays growing up, I was always stuck in the kitchen helping out with a group of relatives, waiting for everyone else to finish eating before it was our turn. Most times, I wasn’t even allowed to sit at the main table. “Eat, what are you staring at?” Maria put a dumpling in my bowl. Their warmth enveloped me, and as I ate the dumplings, I slowly joined in their conversation. Outside, the kids were setting off sparklers, crackling brightly. Maria pulled out two boxes of small sparklers from a cabinet and handed them to me. “Go play.” I was a little surprised. “I don’t need to work?” “It’s New Year’s, we don’t clean today. We’ll do it tomorrow morning. Go have fun today,” Maria said, smiling as she nudged me. Seeing their insistence, I stepped outside. Watching the kids, much younger than me, freely running around in the night, I couldn’t help but smile. Truth be told, I didn’t like New Year’s. I was never the “golden child” everyone talked about, and in those bustling gatherings, even quietly breathing in a corner felt wrong. But I found that celebrating the holidays away from home for the first time actually felt… freer. Just then, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I quickly checked it. It was a message from the family SnapChat group. My family had posted a group photo. I held my phone for a long time, waiting for Mom and Dad to ask where I was. I let out a long breath, unsure if it was disappointment or a strange sense of relief. I tapped on the photo. Everyone was gathered around Grandma and Grandpa, with Daniel and Victoria standing on either side, smiling brightly. Without me, the picture seemed even more harmonious. Suddenly, I felt a warmth on my back. A thick coat was draped over my shoulders. I turned around. It was Maria. She looked from my phone screen to my face. “Sweetie, are you thinking about home?”
Before I could answer, Maria began to ramble. “My family is from the South too, and I was also the third child.” “Unlike you, I had two older sisters and a younger brother. At home, the holidays were the worst.” “We didn’t have much money, so new clothes always went to my sisters and my brother first. My sisters’ hand-me-downs would eventually come to me. My brother? Well, he was a boy, so he always got new things.” She paused, as if remembering something, then laughed. “Good thing I married far away. I didn’t have to go back home and endure that kind of treatment anymore.” … Listening to Maria’s story, my eyes welled up without me realizing it. But I knew that you shouldn’t cry on New Year’s, or you’d cry all year. I could only look up at the sky, where there was nothing, but my eyes still felt dry and strained. “I guess it’s not that I don’t want to go home.” “It’s just that… I feel a bit like an extra at home. Maybe it’s better not to go back and just cause more trouble.” The following days at the guesthouse were simple and fulfilling, filled with busy work. It wasn’t until the sixth day of the New Year that I received my first message on my phone. I nervously pulled it out, and when I saw it wasn’t from Mom or Dad, but from Jessica, a cousin I wasn’t particularly close to, I couldn’t describe the feeling. Still, I tapped on the chat. “You didn’t have a fight with your parents, did you? I didn’t see you when we went to visit today. I didn’t dare say anything, afraid of causing an argument.” Even through the screen, I could imagine her eager expression, waiting for some drama. “Honestly, you too, there’s no need to constantly compare yourself to your brother and sister. They’re good-looking, smart, and obedient. What do you have to compete with them?” I stared at the words, about to type out the truth. *I was left behind by Mom and Dad in the North.* *I never wanted to compete with Daniel or Victoria.* But before I hit send, I deleted every single word. What would it prove? They might even get upset that my absence ruined their holiday mood if they found out. Better to pretend I didn’t know, and just finish my winter job. Earn some money. Next time they forgot my allowance, I wouldn’t have to go hungry. But I never expected that on the eighth day of the New Year, I would see Aunt Carol and Jessica visiting the guesthouse. They were surprised to see me, wearing an apron and wiping tables, but they still greeted me warmly. “What are you doing here?” “Working here for the winter break,” I said honestly. Aunt Carol looked incredulous. “Your family comes from a pretty well-off background, why do you need to work a winter job?” She added, “I’ll call your parents later and ask them about it.” I didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t. Aunt Carol and Jessica stayed for three days, and I was on edge for all three. Even as I cleaned their vacated room, I still hadn’t received any messages from Mom or Dad. I gave a self-mocking laugh. Of course. I was old enough now; I should know the difference between empty promises and genuine care. Back then, if Aunt Carol ran into Victoria on the street, she’d immediately call my parents. “Your daughter is so pretty, why let her go out alone? You should spend more time with her, what if she gets taken?” For my matters, it was always “later” or “next time.” When I was little, I used to hope. Later, I thought I had gotten used to it. But at this moment, I realized I still hoped.
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