In my previous life, Caleb’s first love died taking a knife for me. He hated my guts for it. He locked me away and subjected me to years of relentless torture, day and night. Until my twenty-second birthday. My body and mind were utterly exhausted, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I chose to slit my wrists. Before I lost consciousness, I saw Caleb’s bloodshot eyes. He warned me: “In your next life, don’t love me. And don’t ever stand between me and Luna again.” As he wished. When I woke up, I was sitting in my high school classroom. The clamor of a basketball game drifted in from the sports field outside the window. Caleb pushed the door open, casually tossing his jacket into my lap: “Hold this for me. Luna’s coming to watch the game later.” For the first time, I didn’t greet him with my usual eager smile. Caleb had no idea. In this life, I would automatically keep my distance from him. His school jacket floated lightly onto my desk. I subconsciously moved my wrist. There was no agonizing pain. These wrists, in my previous life, had been bound to the headboard of a bed with Caleb’s tie for seven whole days. All because, on the anniversary of Luna’s death, I still refused to admit guilt. Admit guilt for what? Luna was my older sister, the real daughter of the family. The moment she was found and brought home, she immediately won over everyone’s affection. I admit, I used to envy her. And for a long time, I resented her. Resented her for appearing and stealing my mom and dad. Stealing my Caleb. But she was so tiny and frail. When she was first brought back, her face was pale. She would only gently call me: “Rosie.” Suddenly, my heart softened. I thought, maybe having an older sister… wouldn’t be so bad. My parents said Luna wasn’t healthy. I needed to always give in to her. So, she wanted my room. I gave it to her. She wanted my dolls, I gave those too. She liked pretty dresses I had my eye on, I gave them all up. But when I started middle school, I found out Luna also liked Caleb. This time, I wasn’t giving way. He was my favorite Caleb, the one I’d grown up with since childhood. I couldn’t give him up. What I didn’t expect was that I only argued with Luna once. Just once. The cost, however, was a life. And my own miserable four years. Luna taking a knife for me was incredibly sudden. She fell into a pool of blood. Her last words were: “Rosie… I’m giving Caleb back to you. Please don’t blame me, okay?” At that moment, Caleb rushed over, and that’s the scene he saw. Luna had taken a knife for me. She bled profusely. And with her blood clotting disorder, she didn’t make it to the ambulance. She died on the spot. And her cryptic last words made Caleb hate me to the core. That day, my Caleb asked with a chillingly calm expression: “Rosie, why wasn’t it you who died?” It was only then that I knew. That afternoon, Luna had actually planned to confess her feelings to Caleb. But by an unfortunate coincidence, they ran into some hoodlums looking for a fight. In the chaos, she pushed me away.
It was strange. Everyone was strange. After learning Luna had died taking a knife for me, I became the target of everyone’s accusations. The home I’d lived in for over ten years was completely shattered. Dad’s hair turned white overnight. He told me: “You shouldn’t have lived.” Mom punched and kicked me, screaming hysterically: “You b*tch, you killed Luna! Give me back my Luna!” They stopped letting me go to school. They locked me in the basement for days on end. But… Why blame me, instead of the assailant? Wasn’t I the victim? Was being the one who lived the mistake? I didn’t know. I only knew, just as they said. I owed Luna for a lifetime, owed her my life. I stayed in that pitch-black basement for a long, long time. Until my eighteenth birthday. Caleb convinced my parents. Finally, they let me out. Seeing sunlight after so long, my legs felt weak. I could barely stand. Caleb didn’t say a word, just carried me on his back. Step by step, he walked all the way to Oxford. Oxford, that was the university I wanted to attend. And it was also Luna’s dream. In the season of blooming jacarandas, Caleb’s voice was very, very soft. “Rosie, do you know? This was Luna’s dream too, but she can never achieve it now.” I didn’t respond. I just silently cried on his back. This day was my eighteenth birthday. And it was Caleb’s last moment of tenderness towards me. After that, I was expelled from school. Locked away in the attic of the house. My parents went abroad, completely abandoning me. Caleb had no more reservations. At first, I would beg for mercy. “Please let me go, Caleb.” But the attic was so dark, so gloomy. Not a single ray of sunlight. Trapped inside, I lost track of time. Lost track of the seasons. Gradually, my mind began to unravel. On another anniversary of Luna’s death, when Caleb told me to kneel. We had a furious argument. “I won’t kneel!” “I hate her! I hate her! I hate all of you!” “I never asked her to save me.” “Just kill me, Caleb! Why don’t you just finish me off?” I must have been half-mad then. Caleb kicked me in the knee. He didn’t like it when I disobeyed. As punishment for talking back, he dislocated my wrist again. Binding me to the headboard in a humiliating position. Caleb’s tone was cruel. “Don’t blame me, Rosie, this is what you owe Luna.” “You’re not wronged. At least you’re still alive.” Oh. So my being alive. Was a mistake. Then I didn’t want to live anymore. On the night of my twenty-second birthday, I couldn’t bear it any longer. Blood soaked the sheets. I chose to slit my wrists. To fulfill their words: to give my life back to Luna.
Caleb’s handsome brows furrowed. He waved a hand in front of my eyes. “Rosie?” I snapped back to reality. The boy’s eyes were clear now. None of the gloom and hatred from the previous life. But I instantly jumped up. Putting as much distance between us as possible. “Um… I have something to do. I won’t be going to the basketball game.” “You guys go.” I was scared of Caleb. Truly scared. I trembled every time he came close. The person opposite me froze slightly. He seemed unaccustomed to me refusing him for the first time. After all, every interaction between us had always been me chasing after him. He thought for a long time before finally speaking: “Rosie, are you mad? Because I brought a gift for Luna the other day and not for you.” Mad? I gave a bitter laugh. What right did I have to be mad? In my previous life, Caleb never said he liked me, nor did he say he liked Luna. But he was always by Luna’s side. Yet I was blind. I deluded myself with foolish hopes. And competed with Luna. No wonder I met such a tragic end. The school bell rang on cue. If I remembered correctly, this was P.E. class. Classes 1 and 2 had a basketball game. Luna was in the next class, already standing at the door. Caleb finally didn’t say anything else, just glanced at me. Then he turned and ran towards Luna, who was waiting by the classroom door. Watching their shoulders side by side as they walked away. I let out a long sigh of relief. However, having just been reborn, I hadn’t even had a chance to properly enjoy the sunlight. When school was almost out, my mom’s phone call summoned me to the hospital again. The reason: Luna had an attack. And needed a blood transfusion. Just like in my previous life, whenever she needed it. I was still her walking blood bank. Actually, at first, Mom and Dad said Luna had a rare illness. And needed frequent blood transfusions. And when they found out my blood type matched perfectly. I was even quite relieved. Because I had so much blood. I could save my sister. I knew very early on that Mom and Dad loved Luna more. After all, Luna was their biological daughter. That was understandable. I only thought, if I could just be a little nicer to Luna, just a little more. My parents would be happy. And when they were happy, they would love me again too. But Luna was too greedy. She was always crying, always needing my blood. The increasingly frequent transfusions made it hard for me to cope. Especially when Caleb was around, it was particularly noticeable. Like right now. I took a cab and rushed over. Before I was pushed into the ward, Caleb hurriedly slipped a gift box into my hand.
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