Everyone at school knew I was head-over-heels for Hugh Davies. I’d bring him breakfast, tutor him, and even when he’d trip playing basketball, I’d practically be on my knees to help him tie his laces. Until that day on the rooftop, when I overheard him say: “Chloe? She’s like glue, I can’t shake her off. After the SATs, I’ll tell her I’m applying to A University, and she’ll totally follow me blindly. Then, Serena and I can just go to C University.” His friend asked, “Why don’t you just dump her already?” He sighed, “Can’t do that. I’m afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle it.” Later, I did go to A University, but he came crying to me, saying: “But you always used to cling to me…” I was on my way to bring Hugh breakfast, but now I was frozen stiff at the staircase. Lately, Hugh had been pushing me hard to tutor him, claiming he wanted to apply to A University. Turns out, it was all just a lie to get rid of me. One of his friends asked, curious: “What if Chloe doesn’t apply to A University?” Hugh scoffed: “If I say I’m going to A University, she’ll definitely go. She’s more clingy than my dog.” The whole group laughed. Someone winked at Hugh: “Honestly, only you could put up with a girl like that.” Hugh shrugged, “She’s practically throwing herself at me, why would I say no to free attention?” Another friend asked, intrigued: “So, when are you finally going to tell Serena how you feel?” A subtle smile touched Hugh’s lips: “She said she’d go out with me if I got into C University.” I don’t know how long I stood there. My ears were ringing so loud, and my chest felt so tight, it was like my heart was being squeezed. On the way back to class, Hugh’s words kept replaying in my head. It reminded me of something that happened when I was ten. A girl in our class told me: “Hugh secretly told me to tell you he’ll be waiting for you in our usual spot after school. He has something important to tell you!” I went, full of hope. I waited there like an idiot for what felt like forever. Hugh never showed up, and the sky turned dark, then it started to rain. I was cold and scared of the dark, eventually just crying all the way home. Later, that same classmate made fun of me in class: “See? She’s so easy to fool!” That day, Hugh exploded at her for the first time. He promised me, looking me right in the eye: “I’ll never lie to you, Chloe!” But now?
Thinking back, Hugh really changed a lot. When he was little, he was so lively and bright, like a little sun. Then his parents started fighting constantly, and eventually, they divorced. After that, he became more and more rebellious, and he stopped wanting to go home. I always felt like he was just too cold, that he’d just built a wall around himself like a porcupine. And my home had so much warmth, I thought I could share some with him. He used to be the one protecting me when we were kids. Now, it was my turn to be like a little firefly, illuminating his way. So, after that. He skipped class, I’d take notes for him. He got hurt playing basketball, I’d help him tie his laces. He’d glare at me, tell me to mind my own business, even throw my notes back at me. But the next day, those notes would always be tucked deep inside his backpack. And he’d always eat every bite of the breakfast I brought him. After a while, people started joking around in front of him, saying I was his crazy admirer. That time, Hugh punched the guy right in front of the whole class. I thought I was the most important person to Hugh, but then Serena showed up. And everything changed. Serena transferred to our school in junior year. She was really pretty. One time after school, a few bullies cornered her in an alley. Hugh got into a fight with them to protect her. From then on, they became really close friends. He never walked me home anymore. I knew he was walking Serena home instead. But every time I asked, he’d just say: “You don’t understand, her family life is really complicated. She’s pretty helpless, I just want to help her out.” Hugh, who was usually so aloof. Would give her his jacket when it was cold. Would specifically buy her favorite ice cream outside of school. He even wanted to go to the same university as her, afraid she’d get picked on. But that was *our* agreement. On the day we graduated middle school. I looked at the shining stars in the sky and asked Hugh, who was beside me: “Have you ever thought about what you want to do in the future?” Hugh shook his head, a hint of resignation on his face: “Do I even need to think? My dad only has me as a son. I’ll definitely study something related to his business and manage the company after graduation.” I paused, then spoke: “So, after high school, we’ll go our separate ways?” Hugh gazed into the distance, a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes: “Probably.” A cool evening breeze blew past. Hearing his words, I felt a strange sadness. Hugh looked at me, suddenly flustered. “Hey, don’t cry! Are you really that sad to leave me?” He said, haphazardly wiping away my tears. “Which university do you want to go to? I’ll apply with you.” My eyes suddenly lit up. “Really? Then I want to go to A University.” “Tsk, you change your mood so fast.” Hugh ruffled my hair, smiling lazily, “A University, huh? Looks like I’ll have to study hard then.” “You cry so easily. What if you go somewhere so far away by yourself and someone bullies you into crying again?” Maybe it was just a joke to comfort me back then, but I never forgot it. In high school, his grades never improved, and I was secretly anxious, but he didn’t react at all. It wasn’t until the end of junior year that he anxiously pulled me aside, asking me to tutor him. I thought he remembered our old promise. Now I realize, I was just fooling myself.
Hugh told me to go home without him again after school today. I was used to it, so I just left him to it. That evening, Hugh came to my house for tutoring, carrying a strawberry-flavored ice cream. Honestly, I hated strawberry flavor. But somewhere along the line, Hugh started bringing that flavor every time. Only now did I realize—it was Serena’s favorite. I said coldly, “You should go home. Don’t come to me for tutoring anymore.” It was the first time I’d ever refused him. Hugh raised an eyebrow slightly, asking, “Are you mad because I didn’t walk home with you this afternoon?” He ruffled my hair, “I know you’re clingy, but you have to let me have my own things going on too.” I shook my head, “SATs are coming up, and I have a lot to study too. You can get a tutor, or maybe, ask Serena to help you.” Hugh quickly shot down that idea. “No. Her parents have really high expectations for her, she needs to get first place, she doesn’t have time to tutor me. You’re a better fit to tutor me.” I suddenly found myself speechless. My nose stung, and my eyes felt hot. Right. One was a resilient good student in a tough situation. The other was just a cling-on who followed him around all day. Hugh didn’t want to hold Serena back; she needed to fight for her future. And I, with my comfortable background and happy family, was naturally expected to make concessions, always revolving around him. Seeing my silence, his tone softened, a hint of pleading in his voice: “Didn’t you always want us to go to the same university? Then you’re responsible for me.” He still remembered our promise. I looked at his familiar face, suddenly feeling like I was staring at a stranger. I forced back my tears, staring into his eyes as I asked, word by word: “Are you really planning to go to the same university as me?” Time seemed to freeze for a few seconds. Then, he smiled awkwardly, changing the subject: “Alright, don’t be dramatic.” “I’ll walk home with you tomorrow…” Before he could finish, I slammed the door shut, leaning against it weakly. My tears finally broke free, falling in heavy drops.
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