Nine Engagements Later, I Let Go

My girlfriend has a “boy best friend” who’s attached to her at the hip. On what was supposed to be our ninth engagement party, she left me standing alone at the venue. All because it was the twentieth anniversary of the day she met that guy. “It’s just postponing the engagement, it’s not the end of the world. Are you that desperate to get married?” His new post popped up on my SnapChat feed, the words stinging my eyes. “Twenty years of friendship, how can some outsider ever compare?” In the picture, they were hugging under the guise of “best friends,” their pose intimate. I didn’t say a word. I just calmly liked the post. Then, I silently walked out of her life. Six months later, she called. “I bought that wedding suit you loved. Get back here so we can get married!” But the reply came from a woman’s voice. “My husband is busy researching pregnancy recipes for me. Can I help you?” 1 The day the engagement was called off, I threw the ring in a trash can. A cab driver by the roadside waved at me, asking where to. “Just drive,” I said. “Anywhere, as long as it’s not back to where I started.” When Skylar’s call came, I powered off my phone. It stayed off for three days. The night sea breeze was soothing, casually lifting the hem of my shirt. It reminded me of the first time Skylar confessed her feelings to me. Back then, her face was youthful, the affection spilling from her eyes impossible to hide. Young and reckless, I dove in headfirst. I was madly in love with the 20-year-old Skylar. I willingly moved from the South to an unfamiliar city in the North for her. I gave up the job I was passionate about, content to be her assistant. That lasted nine years. Fate has a funny sense of humor. We got engaged nine times too. And every single time, at the crucial moment, it was called off because of that guy. His name is Zane. We’d fought over him more times than I could count. “I’ve told you, Zane and I are like brothers from another mother! Why are you so insecure?” “We grew up together, we’re as close as family. Does it always have to be something dirty in your eyes?” “Jayden, do you have any idea how crazy you look when you’re jealous? Zane doesn’t even hold a grudge about you suspecting us, how much further are you going to take this?!” Skylar’s expression would be dark. So, after every one of those hysterical arguments, I would quietly swallow my own intense feelings. Because I was afraid of losing her, I was always the one begging for peace, lowering myself. But this time, my heart was eerily calm. I didn’t even feel the desire to confront her. I just wanted to feel the sea breeze. Doing nothing felt more than enough. It was easy for Skylar to find me. I’d forgotten the hotel I was staying at was under her name. She could even open my room door without warning. “Jayden, do you know how childish running away is?” “That day was the twentieth anniversary of me meeting Zane! I just went to celebrate! Can’t I have any other friends besides you?” Hah. Friends. Friends who kiss? I didn’t voice that question. I knew she’d argue it was just a game. It wasn’t the first time, anyway. “There’s nothing between Zane and me. Can you stop being jealous and disappearing?” She looked at me, a worried frown creasing her brow. “Tell you what, I’ll make it up to you with a bigger wedding. I’ll even have Zane be your best man. Will that make you happy?” Her tone was placating. I didn’t respond. Her frown deepened. “Jayden, if you dare to…” “Okay.” I cut her off before she could finish. The old me would have argued relentlessly, only to end up being the one at fault, apologizing meekly. But now, I just offered a faint smile. Seeing me so compliant, surprise flickered in her eyes. Then her expression relaxed, and she reached for my hand. “Let’s go home.” I coldly pulled my hand back and walked ahead of her. Skylar was stunned for a few seconds. No fight? She wasn’t used to it. When I reached her car, I found Zane waiting there too. “Jayden! Man, finally found you! You have no idea how worried Skylar was!” He laughed, giving Skylar a one-armed hug. “I told you we should’ve brought Jayden to our anniversary thing! See, he got jealous again. You’re in trouble now!” “Jayden, I apologize on her behalf. Don’t be mad. If you’re still angry, I’ll beat her up for you!” He playfully aimed a mock punch at Skylar’s shoulder, the light touch turning into him draping his arm around her. “Hitting me there again? You know that’s my spot,” Skylar raised an eyebrow at him. “Hey! Don’t look at me like that!” He chuckled, his gaze darting to me. “Jayden’s watching. Behave. Do you want to make him run away again?” 2 I didn’t look at them. I quietly and knowingly took the back seat, not even lifting my eyes. I used to fight with Skylar a lot over the passenger seat. Whenever Zane was around, she’d say it was his seat. Because he got carsick, and only sitting next to Skylar helped. It made me angry. I couldn’t understand. In Skylar’s eyes, that just made me a jealous man. This time, my silence seemed to throw Skylar off. As the car started, Zane turned from the front passenger seat to look at me. “Jayden, you look like you haven’t eaten well these past few days. Let me treat you to dinner. Consider it my apology on Skylar’s behalf.” “We’ll definitely invite you next time we hang out!” “No need,” I replied flatly. “Just take me home.” Skylar didn’t listen. She kept driving toward a restaurant district. “You clearly haven’t eaten properly for days. Stop being stubborn.” The car stopped in a bustling area with plenty of eateries. Zane nudged her with his elbow. “Skylar, I’m craving spicy wings from that place!” “Your stomach’s sensitive. Go easy on the spice.” They really did look like a couple. Skylar knew his physical quirks better than she knew mine. She picked a less crowded restaurant. While we were ordering, the server brought us each a glass of lemon water. Zane took a sip from the glass in front of Skylar. “Yours tastes sweeter!” Skylar gave him an exasperated smile. She tapped his shoulder. “Still haven’t kicked that bad habit? Why do you always have to taste my drink first?” Zane’s eyes suddenly shifted to me. “Jayden, you’re not mad, right? Skylar and I have been like this since we were kids. I always get the first taste of whatever she has.” Skylar looked slightly uncomfortable, seemingly realizing how this might appear to me. I didn’t even glance their way. “It’s fine.” “It’s normal for childhood friends to be that close.” Skylar let out a soft sigh of relief, her eyes even holding a hint of approval toward me. Not jealous. Not causing a scene. Even tolerating her flirty banter with her “boy best friend.” I guess I’d finally become more “mature.” So much so that when the food arrived, as a sort of reward, she started peeling shrimp for me. Just as she was about to hand it to me, Zane snatched it. “How did you know I was craving shrimp?” Zane put it on his own plate. “Didn’t think you’d remember what I like. You’ve got some conscience left!” Skylar shook her head, smiling. “Slow down. No one’s fighting you for it.” Zane, ever the bold one, then put a shrimp on my plate. “Jayden, you have some too. If it’s not enough, I’ll have Skylar peel more for me.” I didn’t touch the shrimp. “I don’t like shrimp,” I said plainly. Skylar’s brow furrowed slightly. I figured she was probably wondering when my taste had changed. Yes, I used to love shrimp. But I don’t eat food from other people’s plates. Things fought over and passed around? No thanks. Zane is actually allergic to seafood. He only took that shrimp to steal the attention. Sure enough, on the way back, red rashes broke out on his cheeks. The hospital was in the opposite direction of home. Skylar chose to ditch me. “Zane needs to get to the hospital now. Take a cab back.” “But…” She didn’t let me finish. Her eyes full of concern for Zane, she shut the car door and disappeared down the road. The place was remote. No cabs. A couple of streetlights were out. Two large, shadowy figures emerged from the darkness, walking toward me, eyeing me with clear ill intent. 3 A sense of danger prickled my spine. I quickened my pace, trying to leave. But the two men closed in fast, blocking me from both sides. “Hey buddy, out alone so late? Mind lending us some cash?” one slurred, reeking of alcohol, his hand already reaching for the pocket where I kept my wallet. My scalp crawled. My heart hammered. “My money’s in the bag. About two grand in cash, a few more in the cards,” I tried to negotiate, hoping to buy my way out. “Take it. I won’t call the cops.” “Tsk. Cooperative,” the other man grunted, snatching my bag. His eyes lit up at the cash. But their gazes didn’t leave me. “You got the money. Can I go now?” My voice was weak. I just wanted out. “In a hurry?” the first man’s eyes roamed over me. “Dressed nice. Bet you got more than that on you. We’re a bit short lately. ‘Lend’ us a bit more.” I knew it wasn’t going to be simple. I turned to run but was yanked back by my arm. “Stay put!” In the struggle, one of them slapped me hard across the face. My ear rang. “Think you’re too good, huh? Making this difficult!” The other man pulled out a switchblade, waving it in front of me. “The watch, the ring, anything valuable. Hand it over! Or I’ll make you bleed!” Sheer terror froze my thoughts. I fought back instinctively, trying to shove them, but a fist sank into my stomach, doubling me over in pain. In the chaos, I kicked out blindly, my foot connecting with someone’s shin. “He’s fighting back!” The man with the knife, furious now, drove the blade into my side. It hurt. So much. The blood wouldn’t stop. Seeing this, the two men sobered up fast, scrambling away in a panic. With my last bit of strength, I fumbled for my phone and dialed 91

But I was far out. Skylar was closer than any ambulance. She’d just left. Call after call, she impatiently hit decline. When she finally answered, I had little strength left. “Zane’s having a severe allergic reaction! Can you stop being ridiculous for once?!” My lips barely moved. “Help… me… I’m bleeding…” “Jayden! Why is it that every time I’m alone with Zane, you pull this stunt? Sick here, hurting there… I’m tired of your games!” “Zane is genuinely sick today! Have you no empathy?” My breath grew fainter, until only pained groans came out. She remained unmoved. “Stop acting! I wouldn’t come see you even if you were dying today!” She hung up. Her final tone was icy and final. I lay on the ground in despair, waiting for the ambulance. As darkness crept in at the edges of my vision, a figure crouched before me. “Sir? Sir, are you okay? Stay with me! I’ll get you to the hospital!” A kind stranger saved me. I lay in the ER for what felt like an eternity, long enough to think I’d die there. Luckily, they got me there in time. I survived by a thread. Skylar didn’t call me once in the following days. Zane’s SnapChat, however, was very active: “Who else has a bestie this caring? Had a little allergy scare and she insisted on staying by my side 24/7. What can I do with her?” 😊 The picture showed Skylar peeling fruit for him. His slightly flushed face wore a sweet smile. Mutual friends flooded the comments with well-wishes. “You two are my OTP! So perfect for each other!” “Twenty years of this? Just get married already! I’m ready with the wedding gift! When’s the date?!” Silently sipping warm broth from the hospital, I happily added my own comment: “Wishing you a lifetime of happiness.” 4 Skylar saw my comment. Her call came with a half-hearted explanation. “They’re just joking around. Don’t be jealous.” “Zane was sick, I had to be there. Are you really going to make a big deal out of this?” “Once he’s better, we’ll pick up the wedding planning. I’ll even go with you to buy that suit. Happy now?” I replied distractedly, “Anything else? I’m busy.” Silence on the other end for a few seconds. I used to get furious over Zane’s ambiguous posts. When I confronted Skylar, all I got was a scolding: “Can you stop being so sensitive? Close friends don’t care about stuff like that.” “You want me to cut off my best friend for you? Look at yourself. You’re being pathetic!” But now, seeing this stuff didn’t even make my heart rate spike. Before she could say more, I ended the call. The police wanted me to identify the muggers. I also wanted to find the person who saved me, but she was long gone. Zane’s new SnapChat story had a familiar background—my bedroom. He was shirtless. The woman next to him, face not shown, had her arm hooked through his. The caption read: “Sweet dreams tonight.” They’d been having a great time while I was gone. But he did remind me—I needed to go back and pack. That place was never really my home. Though, I’d rather not walk in on another “surprise” in my bed like last time. Back then, Skylar had stumbled over her excuses. “Don’t get the wrong idea.” “Zane was drunk. I couldn’t just leave him at the bar, so I brought him home.” Zane hadn’t batted an eye. “Yeah, Skylar and I are just friends. Don’t overthink it.” Right. No wonder they always talked about how “close” they were as kids. Looking at a half-undressed Zane and Skylar wrapped in just a towel, I had simply smiled. “Just a shower. No big deal.” “You’re so close. Why would I mind? It’s normal to help a drunk friend shower.” “I know. It’s pure friendship. Rare.” Skylar had frozen, her expression faltering for a moment. I guess I, the third wheel, had ruined the mood. She wasn’t pleased. So this time, before heading back, I texted Skylar. Gave her time to cook up an excuse and clean up. Spare me another unwanted sight. The next day, the place was spotless. I’d never seen her clean before. Must have been quite the night. “Where have you been?” “The hospital.” “You were sick?” She suddenly sounded concerned. The old me would have been deeply moved. Because whenever I was sick before, she’d say, “I’m busy. I can’t take you to the hospital.” “It’s just a cold. You won’t die.” Yeah, busy drinking and gaming with Zane. When I was miserable with a fever, Zane would innocently ask, “I’m a guy too, why don’t I get sick so easily?” “Men are so dramatic. Not like me, born with a strong constitution.” So now, I just got stabbed. No big deal. No point in complaining. “My eyes weren’t great.” “Your eyes? What happened?” “I was blind. Couldn’t see people clearly.” I looked at her calmly. “They’re fixed now.” HHer expression relaxed, seeming genuinely happy for me. “Good. As long as you can see clearly now.” Yeah. I could see perfectly now.

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